𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 ❝ 博客; 𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯
summary: y/n was always there, or at least it had felt that way. she had slipped into hellfire and made it her home so quickly, that no one batted an eye when she began to frequently hang out with them. becoming one of them, she was simply there, coexisting as they did. and as jeff’s relative, it had become a silent rule that no one was to mess with her. but when she’s supposed to be in love with Gareth, knowing she'd never have a chance with eddie, she's torn as she find herself slowly falling for their energetic leader all over again. and as he struggles to come to terms with his feelings for her, their simple friendship begins to become a little more…. complicated.
a/n: this is my first fic in like 4 years and i’ve been in a writing slump lately, so i apologize if it’s horrible. i also will make this a series and it will be a slow burn. i def want to make more eddie fics too. this also does not follow the canon timeline of the show.
also i have decided to give “freak 1/unnamed freak”(the other older member of hellfire who is never called out by title) a name because he deserves recognition too, seeing as he’s their friend and is the bass player for corroded coffin. that being said, he’ll be called vince, because he looks like that’d be fitting.
Today was just like any other, of course. Nothing exciting was happening other than the usual parading and performance that Eddie had to offer the whole student body. The sound of his onyx boots stomping along tabletops and sarcastic monologues were enough to earn a few hoops and hollers from the likes of you and Dustin. Both earning a wide grin as the ringleader of your cherished “cult” turned in your direction, using these encouragements to fuel the ever so bright, and dramatic, flame that allowed him to have the spirit to do things as such. I suppose that was one thing you always admired about him, how free he was to say and do as he pleased, no matter which eyes picked him apart. How he never really seemed to care how others viewed him, and if he did, he sure a shell didn’t show it. Eddie was so much braver than the whole lot of you, and that was probably why he was the leader. He was the defender, the dungeon master, the shepherd.
And you were happily in his flock.
“ Heyyy, y/nnnnn, are you going to eat that? “ Dustin beamed, with his usual loose mouth smile, eyeing the mash potatoes you aimlessly sloshed around.
“ Eat up kid. “ You muttered back, pushing the tray towards him. Reveling in the joy that seemed to paint the freshmans face as he dug his spoon in, melting into his seat as he scarfed the white gunk.
When you had imagined moving in the middle of nowhere, to some state you had never heard of from the city that never sleeps, you didn’t imagine you’d end up in a group of teens who played some geeky board game for fun. It was a much different environment from New York, especially the fact that the schools weren’t as cliquey there.
But you had no room to complain, growing rather fond of your distant cousins' friends. Well, more fond of some than others, you thought with a lithe sigh, eyes wandering to torn flannel and flowing cedar locks. Watching as Gareth threw his head back in a hearty chuckle as he murmured with Jeff, eyes lit as his mouth moved passionately.
It was a lie to say you didn’t initially join because you found the male attractive, hoping that faux interest in DND and a place in the group would earn you a place in his heart. Though, that was far from the case, seeing as your mind shut down at every interaction that even-somewhat sparked between the two of you. Words jumbling and falling sharply from your tongue whenever he uttered a word to you, face flushing, and hands dripping with thick sweat. Not only was it gross on your part, but the air would go stiff with awkwardness, usually drawn back by Dustin saving you hopelessly or Eddie unknowingly intervening. You were sure it was obvious by now, your apparent feelings towards the brunette, but silently prayed that he was clueless as most of them men at the table were when it came to women.
“ You know it’s not very gentlemanly to steal food from a fair mistress, Henderson, now don’t you? ”
This piqued by the one and only, the great and glorious, the oh-so outspoken, Eddie Munson. Though, you’d never allow his ego to hear of the silent praises and nicknames you gave him in the quiet of your mind.
Earning a scoff from you, which helped him to paint his usual smug grin on his face, knowing that you were about to retort back. Seeming as though he loved when the two of you would go back and forth, but he’d never admit it.
“ For your information, I am not some damsel in need of your help, Lord Munson. I am fully capable of defending my mashed potatoes on my own. “ Turning your nose up at him for the full effect, accompanying it with the cross of your arms, playing it up to the fullest. Adding a small ‘hmph’, which caused his smile to widen. He couldn’t help but adore the way your energy aligned with his, one of the only people who came close to acting as he did. And it left his breath labored at every word you said.
But that was the way one felt around friends, that’s what made friendships so special… no?
The metal head couldn't remember when the two of you became friends, or even how. But he found that was the beauty of it all. There was no memory of you coming in, it was like you were always there, like you existed always in his life. Like you were meant to be, sent to him by the universe. And the way you fit in so perfectly, and adopted Hellfire as your own, he had no doubt that you had been sent to him.. to them, he meant.
Placing his elbows on the table, leaning closer to you, his movements drawing your eyes back his way.
“ Well when do you need saving, princess, don’t come crawling back to me. “
Your stomach tightened at the way he lowered his voice, rasping it out with that smartass expression he sported often. Though, you wouldn’t let him see it, taking a hand to his forehead and pushing him away from you playfully. Retreating your limb back with a giggle as he took a bite to the air, acting as if he’d snag your fingers.
Little moments like this are what Eddie looked forward to in life. To hear your laugh, see you smile, feel your touch. Little moments with his close friend.
Cool metal ate at your burning skin, hot from the flush of anticipation of a proposition in your love life. Setting your scorched head along the door of your locker, a satisfied smile painted on your lips.
Gareth had just asked you if you wanted to come over to watch Corroded Coffin practice, seeing as they were learning some news songs to display at The Hideaway. Even though you had tagged along with Jeff before when he went to practices, this was different, seeing as the brunette had gone out of his way to invite you, which had to mean something, right?
The frustration and uncertainty of it all just caused more heat to rise to your head, aggravation seeping into you as you gathered your things to leave. A familiar figure shifting along your peripheral, adorned in inky leather and a wild mane. Perched beside a head of bouncing auburn, ponytail swaying as the two talked.
A strange sensation pooled in your gut, chest coiling in itself at the sight of the two polar opposites. You found it rather interesting that Eddie had started hanging around Chrissy, seeing as they came from two very opposite sides of the social hierarchy. Even more odd was how close they had become, despite her friends despising “the freak” and the fact that Munson publicly spoke out against the “populars.” Though, it was none of your business.
Even so, you couldn’t help it.
To notice the way he looked at her, how his eyes seemed to trace the softness of her features. Or how intently he listened to her, seeming to crave more of her voice once she’d stop. How he’d soak up her laughter and vye for that reaction again. The way they seemed perfect together, their chemistry with one another, undeniable, swoon worthy and sickening.
They way he knew she was perfect.
And even worse of all, there was no reason to hate it. To hate her. She was so kind, a sweet soul. No ill intent sat in her spirit or cruelty lining her thoughts.
You didn’t know why it made you so upset that he seemed to feel this way towards her, but if anything, you should be happy for him. Right?
He had found someone who was gentle and sweet with him. Someone beautiful and deserving, something you knew you’d never be.
And perhaps, that's why you denied the blooming feelings for the man. You knew you weren’t enough for him, how could you be? You were a freak, just like him, and he deserved more. Someone more kind, more beautiful, more successful, someone unequivocally perfect, like her.
A flame rose in your throat, charring the chords of your voice to oblivion. Your cheeks steamed up again and you took heavy breaths, attempting to halt the tears. Trying your hardest to not allow the droplets to burst from the seams of your eyes.
You had no reason to be crying. Eddie was never yours, and he never would be.
If anything, you should’ve been happy, finally having had a smooth conversation with your crush. Finally the possibility of being happy, of being loved. So then why… Why did this sadness swell in your depths? Why did you have to cry.
It was your run of the mill insecurity, that was all of course. A laugh managed to slip past your lips at the thought of the tears being caused by anything else. This wasn’t about Eddie or Chrissy,this was about you feeling insecure about yourself, that was it. The slight idea that maybe you felt anything more for Eddie being shot down at every turn the thought took in your mind.
Any-who, there were much bigger things to worry about at the moment, such as the view that began to fill your vision. Two figures mingling along the open garage of Gareth’s home, instruments being set into place. It was hard to suppress the smile that bore into your cheeks as the flannel fitted male waved at you, a smirk on his features.
“ Why do you look so happy? “
Whipping your head to look at the dark skinned male as he wore a look of confusion, eyes narrowing to attempt to figure you out. You had noticed this was a habit of your cousins, doing it often, seeing as he was always edging into your business.
Earning a roll of your eyes as you hopped out of the van.
“ Nothingggg, Jeff. What, I can’t be happy now? “
Throwing an uneasy glance at you and a look of disgusted-confusion, shaking his head as he dropped the matter rather quickly. A muttered “women”, accompanied with a sigh, wafting through your ears as he passed you.
It was understandable that he found oddity in the way you acted, seeing as you were mid-sob when you arrived in the parking lot. Scurrying like a mouse in hiding to the passenger seat, crying into your backpack so bypassers wouldn’t have to witness the embarrassing display. Met with a violent shake of the shoulder and Jeff’s worried face. Then further putting him through chaos with slurred, hyperventilating words that seemingly flew in one ear and came out the other. Eventually mustering it all up to your period, knowing he wouldn’t pry any further at that. It’s not like he would’ve understood anyways.
“ Soooo y/n, Jeff here tells me that you’ve been learning how to play guitar. Eddie’s not here yet and he’s usually early, so you wanna sub in for us? “
It was unbelievable. This wasn’t actually happening, it was like something out of a movie. Gareth the Great was sitting in close proximity to you, eyes plastered in your direction, attention fully drawn to you.
Feeling the warm sensation rise in your stomach again, averting your eyes downward as your fingers find a way to fidget amongst themselves.
“ I-uh, I don’t know, Gar, I’m not that good. I probably don’t even know the songs you guys want to play. “ Meeting cedar eyes again, which crinckled as the boy beside you chuckled, taking a hold of your hand as he began to stand. His warmth against yours makes your head whirl in a frenzy of hormones.
“ Oh c’mon, I bet you're great. “
Shit, he was late. Which didn’t happen often, so he knew the guys were sure to chew him out about it, especially with their gig coming up soon at that bar. Resting his head against the wheel of the van with a groan as he parked the vehicle, eyes screwed shut in new found annoyance. The last thing he needed right now, was his friends to be some pain in the asses.
Slowly lifting his head as he heard the symphony of heavy instruments wafting together in a harmonies clash, but more than that, was the voices that snaked their way into the sounds of string and symbols. To say the singing was angelic would be an overstatement, though the passion that the voices held was something different entirely. It sounded like joy and youth, anticipation and excitement, all bundled up in one to scream the lyrics from a rock-metal soul.
The only odd thing about it was that it was a song that their band had never practiced before, seeing as they didn’t have any RATT songs on their setlists.
The words became more clear as he approached the garage with his stringed baby in hand, gawking at the sight in front of him.
“ You see I really felt that you want me
You see I really thought that you cared
I had this feelin' she was comin' from somewhere
You've got everything, more than it takes, baby “
The two cousins shouting the lyrics raspily as they both worked on their respective guitars, Munson's eyes quickly falling on the feminine one of the two. Mesmerized by the way your lips seemed to dance ever so closely to the mic, or the way your finger frolicked along the chords. How your face glistened as sweat gleamed along it, soaking the rowdy bits of hair to your forehead, that managed to fall in your face through all the movement. Lids screwed shut as you continued to play, absolutely submerged into the music. Eddie was at a loss of words. The way you became one with it all and how free you seemed when up there. His awe quickly drew to a close as the drums began to stop abruptly, pulling everyone from their session to look at him.
“ Look who finally managed to join us. “ Muttered the umber skinned male from beside you. An unamused look being thrown at Munson. Who replied with a nervous laugh, scratch of the neck and the explanation that he had to catch up with Chrissy about some stuff.
The mention of her name drew you back to the events of earlier, brows furrowing at the remembrance of your breakdown. Quickly shaking it off as you took deep breaths. You would not allow this to ruin the fun you’d been having. Still coming down from the high of the music, every sense in your body electrified.
Which didn’t help when you all had finally taken a break, hands brushing along Gareth’s as he offered you a beer. Taking it was a gentle ‘thanks’, attempting to distract your mind from all the interaction you had been gifted with him today. Attempting to take a large swig from the bottle, trying not to allow yourself to get flustered as the drummer roared praises over your performance.
Hissing as the glass clanked along your front teeth, causing you to throw a hand to your mouth in pain. Setting the Genesee along the concrete, both palms now drawn to your maxilla, fingers running gently along the smooth white bones to make sure there was no chipping. Even if your teeth were okay, the pain still rang horrendously, causing your stomach to feel sick as embarrassment soon set in. Though that seemed to be the last thing Gareth was worried about, cupping your face as he examined it with a distressed gaze. The way his eyes searched yours frantically, or how his plush hands softly held you, the way his dark brows furrowed, or the gentleness of his voice as he asked of your state. It all seemed to make this worth it, wishing you had 100 more beer bottles to smash into your teeth.
It had seemed that the other guitarist and bass player had quit chewing Eddie out for his tardiness, and they had all shot their gaze to the scene of you two. Without the needed context, it appeared as though the two of you were to meet in a loving embrace of your lips on one another, and Jeff was NOT having it.
“ DUDE! ARE YOU TRYING TO KISS MY COUSIN!? “
You were both unsheathed from your moment with one another, immediately having Gareth retract his palms away from you and throwing them up in a defensles manner. Words falling past his tongue as stutters as he attempted to explain himself. “ D-Dude, what no! I was seeing if she was ok, she, she hurt herself. “ Though, it was too late for the poor goner, your relative was already halfway into his ‘remember what I told you guys about trying to mess with y/n’ speech.
Shocked as you felt a pair of strong arms swoop in at your waist and whisk you in the opposite direction. A chin rested on your head as one of the limbs wrapped around you pointed at the brunette, the all too familiar playful voice, potent to your ears.
“ How dare you, try and defile a fair maiden such as she. “
Met with Eddie’s grin as you looked up, watching him thoughtfully peer down at you. His mouth snaking closely to your ear, the warmth from his mouth causing a jolt in your body. “ Looks like you did need saving, princess. “
God, h knew just how to piss you off. Twirling in his grip so your chest met his, though you didn’t calculate how close he really was, face mere inches from yours. Seeing as it shocked him as much as it did you, the two of you going still in the embrace. You could feel his breath on your skin, feeling as it mingled into your air. At this length, you could see every detail of the man. The roundness of his doe eye, though anything but innocent. The strands that widely grew at his brow or the small remnants of shaven hair along his upper lip. The plumped pink that sat below those remnants. The ones you couldn’t pull your eyes from. And he noticed, how could he not? The way your gaze fell to his mouth, slowly moving back up to meet his oculi again once you’d seen the smirk he now wore.
“ My God, l/n. Are you trying to seduce me? “
You didn't know if it was the ache and yearn of the throbbing between your legs or the annoyance of the fact that one of the only romantic moments in your life had been ruined by a man you were related to and made worse by a man you could never have, but something about the usual light-hearted teasing made your blood boil. You knew this was his nature, the way he went about, but you couldn’t handle it now.
The fact that he was probably screwing around with girls he dealt to, or the chicks he’d pick up at The Hideaway, and still made you heart flutter with his flirtation, made your anger worse.
No not probably, you knew. There had been times before where you and the other older teens had spent time at Mr.Munson's mobile home, having sleepovers and what not. (No matter how childish it seemed, you all enjoyed it.) Or simply spending time with Eddie in his room. Gareth, Jeff, Vince, and you all having stumbled across fishnets, makeup, and more underwear than you could count. Having to have sit beside a new girl every time as they piled up in the back of his van as you all rode back to his place after their performances. The vivid memories of your head set along the back of the couch, eyes locked shut as your fingers danced along your thigh, listening to the muffled moans from his rooms and the soft snores of the other boys wrapped in fleece along the floor. Not being able to drift to bed until the sinful noises had stopped. Usually waking to Eddie plastered beside you, snoring as his shirtless body splayed across the scratchy green fabric, his usual blanket draped across you. You used to think it was romantic, that he always found his way back to you no matter who he was with that night. But now you saw it for what it was, you were always the rebound, despite the fact that it was never romantic, which somehow made it hurt more. Once those girl had ran away as thieves in the night, he stumbled back to the girl he knew would be waiting for him, as a stupid mutt that adored their owner. You were his dumb, stupid bitch.
The anger of these truths allowing you to pry him away from yourself, glaring at him one last time before spinning around. The same thundering in your throat from earlier, rising up again in a storm of wild emotion. Picking up your pace as you began to walk out of the area, ignoring the beckons of your name from the metalhead. Now jogging your way through the crisp lawn, past Jeff’s van and off into the beating autumn sun. Burning on your frame as hot as the liquid that burned the skin of your cheeks, burning as the pain in your heart from a love that never was.
