Artseed018 @4rtseed018 - Tumblr Blog

Grateful

Pretty girl <3

<3

Henri with the sad eyes <3 he’s just like me! I am so obsessed with both of them. Juni with the wild personality, just like sweet Sylvie. As soon as I’m not with them I miss them and feel a heaviness in my heart. They’re so cute. How could I not want to be with them 24/7. Henri and Juni lately have been loving to attack my feet and it tickles so bad but I withstand because they’re so cute. And Mr. Simbertony is becoming very very curious of them <3

Sylvie brought me to NY for my first Pride. She’s been going every year for a while and I told her I was always so scared to go. All my fears about it slowly diminished as we walked around holding hands. Seeing how people were was really amazing and I’m so happy for everyone getting to celebrate like that. Everybody loving each other. Spending the day at the parade was so much fun and we ate so much good food like octopus and glass noodles. Tried cava for the first time too. Literally walked into a store near the parade and bought weed. NY is a whooooole other world. I still hate the city but I can at least say now that I do actually enjoy going and maybe even see why people would want to live there lol now I understand after all these years why Andrea moved there to never come back. She is the type that could absolutely THRIVE in a city. Anyways, Pride was amazing and I was dumb to let my fear hold me back all these years. I’ve never been so happy and proud to be a lesbian. Thank you sweet Sylvie for loving me so much<3 Thank you dear Universe for making me gay, I really owe you one.

Sylvie took me to my first burlesque show and wow was it all so amazing. I enjoyed my time with her so much. I got to hold her and dance with her all night, I couldn’t stop smiling. It felt like I was seeing her for the first time all over again. I was so nervous all over again too lol, I love the way she makes me feel. I love spending time with her. Holding her hand. Walking and talking with her. I love NY Sylvia, this was a successful phase four <3

Sylvia truly amazes me with the things she does for others. It’s amazing she has any time for herself with all she does for others. Including me. The shit she does just for me alone is insane. She moves so fast but it doesn’t effect how well and how much she puts her soul into things. She’s constantly opening my eyes to new things and helping me grow. The pride play was amazing, everyone there had such a good time and felt so safe. I’m so happy I at least made it for the last hour or so. And then talking to everyone later on was amazing. I met some cool new people that night. And accidentally stole Nyomi’s phone for a few hours lol. The mural event also went so well. It felt so good to complete a painting of that size though I was really doubting myself that I would finish it in a day. It felt good to get ahead of the doubt eventually. And we got fucking KITTENS. They were missing and then found the day after Jazz passed. It was like a little miracle sent by Jazz and I really believe that. What are the odds of that honestly. And one of them being polydactyl like come on?! I KNOW the universe set that up so sweet for Sylvie. Little Juni and little Henri. I love them so much as well as tiny Tim and Ellie. Watching Tini mingle with the kittens is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in a long time. It brings so much warmth to my heart. I just want to lay on the floor all day and let them crawl on me. It’s funny how my life is now. I’m doing all these extroverted things while still being an introvert inside and I love it. Maybe there is an in between term. Like an introvert with a tiny side slice of extrovert lol.

So I crave. Crave to do it again, all again. Crave, crave to do it again.

Just for a second it all felt simple, I'm already missing it.

So I crave. Crave to do it again, all again.

I romanticize even the worst of times.

When all it took to make me cry was being alive.

Jazz, I didn’t know you very long but I am so happy to have met you. You mean the world to Sylvia and I hate that you’re gone. You know so much more about her than I do and Simbertin isn’t going to let me have ANY clues. I too was dominated by little Tim, so I can relate. Sim is just jealous of you because you got to go outside whenever and not him. He’s a baby, and you, his big brother whom he wants to be like. It’s going to be so different without you around! But the memories of you and your energy will live forever! Everybody loves you Jazz, I hope you enjoyed the journey. Good luck on the next one 🍀

Ugh.. I miss Sylvie. I h8 when she’s far away, I absolutely hate it!

She’s soooooo Sunshine Girl in ALL these pictures. Madly in love with her. I failed oh so miserably at our date but it’s okay because I’m going to redeem myself Sunday I swear. The bridge of flowers was actually better than I thought it would be though. That concluded with being the only part of my date that succeeded. I will take it for now lolol. I have to do so much better for this beautiful woman. My God. So much work to do <3

Sylvia took me on two super cute dates two days in a row. I love her so much, I’ve never seen so much of the world in color honestly it’s all so crazy. I love you <3

I can’t figure out for the life of me how sweet Sylvie chose me, but thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. She really loves me so much and as much as I can barely believe it, I am so grateful. Sunshine girl <3

Lol I’m so obsessed with her, love that I can make gifs of her on here lololol

Soon I will have no storage left on my phone. She is so beautiful I can’t stop taking pictures and recording everything. Sunshine girl <3

Medically I really have been beaten since the end of February. Other than that, my life still remains so colorful. I’ve been growing and learning a lot. Stepping out of my comfort zone way more than ever before. I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way. There’s now so much movement in my life that I have no choice but to go on. I am so grateful for Sylvia and everyone she’s brought to my life. I feel so different in life right now with the people I have surrounding me. I’ve never felt so loved and supported. The past week I’ve been out of it and had to call out of work so many times. I am so grateful for the boss that I have as well. I don’t know what I would do without the people who are in my life now. I’m so happy to have found them and a place to feel safe. Sylvia’s patience and caring nature throughout all the er visits and bullshit has been amazing. She knows how I’m weak, what I truly need when I am. She stepped up as my full time nurse and has me on a strict schedule. She doesn’t have to do any of it and so I am just so grateful and full of love. There aren’t words to describe the things I truly feel about this but I could cry thinking about it. No idea how the Universe sent me such a beautiful gift or what I did to deserve her but I will spend the rest of my days watering all of this. It’s Spring again and Summer is coming. I can only imagine what is to come, especially next to the one that has my whole entire heart. Sweet Sylvie <3

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