Digital Herland

Separatist ⚢ 20s snide radfem vegan lawyer Genius-range Bechdel score or DNI

[evilrosamundpike]

What I have noticed is that men are so deeply in the trenches of learned helplessness that they think things just happen by magic.

They see women's homeless shelters and emergency hotlines and think pieces about the violence we suffer at the hands of men, and wonder why men don't have the same resources.

Not for a moment they think that, if they want all of that support, they have to create it themselves. They truly think that female shelters and support networks are born out of nothing, with no work or thought behind them.

[womanwithoutname]

somehow men are the original inventors of every single thing on the planet because they are far more intelligent than women, but they can't prop up male exclusive shelters or hotlines..

[lieutenant-fuckface]

Men don't think women's shelters/orgs appeared out of nowhere, they just assume The Men in Charge created these institutions in response to women "whining" about our problems, which are actually trivial and insignificant compared to *men's* problems. It's proof the we live in a tyrannical matriarchy.

That is verbatim what I've seen MRAs claim on sites like reddit and the chans. It's not that they don't think about it, they just invent male supremacy historical fanfiction that they share amongst themselves instead of reading a single article or book that doesn't flatter their worldview.

[diana-lostandfound]

i know you don't know me but i just wanted to let you know your blog helped me to realize i need to leave my emotionally abusive boyfriend and go 4b and i thank you endlessly for that

Everyone please celebrate this smart and brave and STRONG woman with me 🖤🖤🖤 you have gained EVERYTHING and I hope you know that's all because of YOU!!!! That's your inner strength. I'm so glad that I could help, but at the end of the day, YOU and you alone made the tough, bold, wise, courageous choice to set yourself free. I am seriously overflowing with joy from this 🖤 you have just made the BEST choice of your life and it only gets better. Kudos to you 🥂

[butch-bara]

actually i’m putting this on main blog too people will legitimately be like “omg i’m SOOO glad they made the lesbian character in [tv show] the pretty one instead of some ugly disgusting hairy butch dyke! this is destroying the negative stereotype that all lesbians are ugly disgusting monsters 🤩 #woke #feminism #lesbian #pretty” and think they deserve to live

[riverlarking]

[kragehund-est]

hey i just saw your post critiquing a societal norm. well, i like doing everything that society expects of me and i was actually raised in an empty 8x8 cube for the first 18 years of my life. i am the only person to have ever been raised in a vacuum and i came out with all the behaviors expected of my age, sex, and origin without ever having seen another human being before. so. maybe keep that in mind next time you post, mkay?

[gnomebutch]

I hate when some straight women say “men claim they prefer women without makeup…but this is what they think ‘no makeup’ looks like” as they proceed to do a full face of subtle coverage and mascara or whatever as if that’s somehow owning men. Wowww our perception of female beauty standards is so warped that women applying several products is considered the bare minimum! and it’s somehow not weird that straight men are repulsed by the faces of the sex they are supposedly attracted to unless there’s a bunch of products smeared onto it!!! Seriously what’s the point of saying “um actually they DONT like us without makeup and they just don’t know it haha men are so stupid” YOU ARE IN A CAGEEEEE !!!!!!

[radfemme-rage]

some thoughts on this:

• feminism is not taken seriously as a sociopolitical movement with actual theories and intellectual writers. it exists as an aesthetic, a (defunct) dating strategy or a tiktok.

it’s why expressing any genuine feminist sentiment — being critical of marriage/heterosexual relationships, porn/sex/beauty industry, all religions (christianity, islam, etc.), surrogacy, and more — will have you walking on eggshells, even though these are basic feminist concepts.

• i have always hated the notion that women can “man hate” their way into better male partners.

AT LEAST 1 in 3 women will experience sexual violence in their lifetimes. a woman’s rapist is most likely to be her male partner (her boyfriend/husband, etc.). not that creepy stranger waiting in an alleyway, but rather the man that she trusts most. this is a simple empirical fact.

so, no. there is no woman on earth who can “outwoke” her way out of male violence. did millions of women around the world just not “pick” good enough partners? or, is male violence so deeply embedded, protected and enacted at large by men at a class?

• final thing, but how are we even defining a “sweet angel boyfriend”? do you mean a benevolent patriarch?

because, the amount of men who are true allies to women is extremely few. many men have no interest in standing up for women in front of other men, consume misogynistic pornography (either behind your back or to your face) where there is a high chance the woman (or teen — who can truly know?) has not consented, and do not pull their weight domestically, emotionally or mentally.

women are socialised to overlook these things and crave “love”, acceptance and validation from men. there’s a reason we’re groomed into this from a young age, and in general, why the patriarchy wants women to have as little self-esteem and independence as possible.

[brooklynmuseum]

Drawing its title from a 1989 Guerrilla Girls poster declaring “You’re seeing less than half the picture without the vision of women artists and artists of color,” Half the Picture: A Feminist Look at the Collection expands the definition of feminism beyond a movement to create equity between men and women. The more than fifty artists included in this exhibition instead represent a plurality of voices advocating for their communities, their beliefs, and their hopes for equality across and between race, class, disability, and gender. 

Half the Picture is on view in our Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist Art now through March 31, 2019.

Guerrilla Girls (established New York City, New York, 1985). You’re Seeing Less than Half the Picture, 1989. Offset lithograph. Brooklyn Museum; Elizabeth A. Sackler Center for Feminist Art, Gift of Guerrilla Girls BroadBand, Inc., 2017.26.22. © Guerrilla Girls.

[stephexmachina]

genuinely insane to me that bikinis are the Default swimwear marketed & sold to women. that's nylon underwear. & if you don't want to wear one people treat you like you're childish & insecure & suggest ways to "get over it"

[stephexmachina]

"i feel uncomfortable with the idea of wearing what amounts to fast-drying underwear in front of other people, many of them complete strangers" "have you tried gradually acclimating to showing more & more skin? have you tried being more confident? are you ashamed of your body? don't you want to show off your beach bod?" girl what the fuck are you talking about!!!

[stephexmachina]

wearing a bikini is all about confidence & self-love 🥰 but remember to wax all that icky yucky body hair first!!! 🤢 nobody wants to see that 🙅‍♀️

[diana-lostandfound]

what makes you so confident you're a lesbian when you've been with men before?

Personal and sexual discussion below the cut

I've had sex with a man one time and I hated it. I hate the way they smell, I hate the way their bodies look, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never conjure up feelings of attraction for them.

When I was in middle school, I used to look up the celebrities that my friends had crushes on and I would force myself to stare at it and try to make myself feel something. I never could. I've never had a crush on a male celebrity, musician, actor, fictional character, let alone a crush on a boy I know.

I was constantly told by my family and church that I hadn't found "the right one," and when the purportedly perfect man came along, I gave into the pressure. He knew that I was struggling with my sexuality and he manipulated that to try and "win me over," essentially. The man that I did end up having sex with was supposed to be perfect. Super smart, tall, rich, kind, generous, handsome, etc. My parents were obsessed with him. And it did literally nothing for me. At best I had an intellectual acknowledgement that he was supposed to be a catch. But he had that same weird "boy" smell that all men have that I find literally gagworthy. That's the biggest thing for me -- all males have this stench to them that I hate. Whereas a woman I'm attracted to smells almost intoxicating.

On the flip side, I've had crushes on girls since I was 6 years old. When I was 9 years old I told my mom I was never going to get married or have kids and she told me I was breaking her heart. My attraction to women is soooo freaking easy and natural, I've never had to try and "force" it like I did with males.

So yeah

My parents STILL ASK about this man btw. It's been like 7 years. They are STILL hoping that I will somehow find my way to being into men and they seem to think this one random dude from our church is the answer. And I'm the eldest daughter and so the pressure to follow the life script of "marry a man and have his babies ASAP" is very real. I'm a huge embarrassment to my family for being single and childless in my late 20s.

[diana-lostandfound]

Thoughts on the idea that "women are the gatekeepers of sex"?

I think it reeks of male entitlement to our bodies. It makes her seem like the bad guy if she says no. And it also represents a horrific minimization of how men coerce women into sex by pestering and begging and whining and insulting and chiding and ruining everything with their shitty mood until the woman just gives in to smooth things over. Saying "women are the gatekeepers" makes it sound like women are these passive, unmovable, iron-willed arbiters who have the authority within het relationships to be all You Shall Not Pass!!!! When in reality, based on my extensive experience reading relationship and parenting subreddits (nightmare fuel, it's basically my digital self-harm when I want to blackpill lol) women in het partnerships are constantly having to have sex they don't want to have in order to keep the peace.

Go onto a subreddit like r/breakingmom and search "maintenance sex," it's EXTREMELY heartbreaking and terrifying. Most straight married women are getting raped on a semi-regular basis. So it's such a DARVO lie that completely ignores female socialization to say that women are the gatekeepers of sex.

And it also reveals that men see courtship with women as a bunch of rituals they don't want to put up with to get access to pussy.

[honeyapplebutterfly]

Trans men in my replies: I understand where you’re coming from but I just have some key ideological differences perhaps we could have a civil discussion over DMs and

Trans women in my replies: get raped and die ugly cumslut foid

[fearlessfeministcat]

trans women hate femboy culture for the same reason that conservative do, true gender non conformity threatens their gender stereotypes.

if men can be feminine, to the point where they are assumed to be female while still idenifying as male it threatens the idea that presenting a certain way and liking features (think being hairless, boobs etc) makes you male or female.

[honeyapplebutterfly]

It’s fucking insane that women can’t even gather. We have to be underground, word of mouth, in the middle of the woods in tents, just to be allowed to speak freely. Doesn’t that feel crazy? Don’t get me wrong, I love being in the woods with women, but why must we be so hidden while men can shout and scream at the top of their lungs in every city across the US? Why is it SO disproportionate? All we are asking for is to be left alone but it requires so much obfuscation. Men have entire parades, women must whisper on secret channels and hide in the forest.

[honeyblankets]

“gender is so fun to play around with and be silly with!” okay cool personally i’m not having fun with a construct that has oppressed women & girls for all of its existence

[camomileapplesyrup]

- from my instagram post today

(because i feel like i'm going crazy)

[sisterofrage]

Always remember that men are the gold diggers, the resource hoarders, and they do NOT care about you. They will happily watch a woman work herself to the grave, grow sick, work through the sickness, and sell priceless belongings and continue using her.

They are parasites to the core. They will never love us. Stop expecting them to.

[realist-fortheloveofwomen]

This should lowk qualify as financial abuse ima be fr

“Erm I didn’t think you’d really sell it…”

This poor woman. I hope she saves her money for herself. She was truly pure hearted and generous and he took advantage of this, actually evil.