Rose Clover

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Kind of a crazy idea but what if in Side Order we see a bunch of stages from past games that haven't been ported over to S3 yet and we get those stages in later updates?

Like, just imagine a version of Reef or Starfish that you have to fight through. And it's more maze-like because of bleached coral covering the place, both blocking off and adding new routes to traverse the stage with. And then the stages are added into S3 a few months later but it still has a bit of bleached coral, changing how the multiplayer version's layout and taking the players back to when they saw the singleplayer version for the first time in Side Order.

[5-leaf-clover]

Nothing like teaching your horse in TOTK learned helplessness by complete accident at 1 AM amirite besties? 😁

[5-leaf-clover]

Just thought I’d put my two cents on why the map layouts for the returning Splatoon 1 stages (looking at you Hammerhead and Mahi, like ew 🤢) are so totally ass compared to their old versions. And I’m like 99% sure it’s cuz of Tricolors.

Like, currently there are 3 Tricolor maps in 3, we’ve already seen Sturgeon and Hammerhead (and I won’t spoil the third, you’re so welcome). But it’s pretty safe to assume that every map will have a Tricolor version by the end of the game’s major updates, even if they’re horrid.

Anyhow, from what I’ve seen of the old Splatoon 1 stages that are already confirmed/in the game, old Hammerhead and Mahi would so not work as Tricolors. For example, let’s look at Hammerhead Bridge’s layout from the first game (Turf War for obvi reasons):

If we assume the map received no changes, ⭐ is the where the Ultra Signal would be, and 🔄 is where the defending team’s drone thingies would be. This layout would be totally broken. Defending team would drop into low ground with either attacking team ready to run a train (or maybe a Reefslider) through them at countless angles. And the devs seem totally scared of changing these maps much for Tricolors, so they’d probably add a small spawn area that the attacking teams can’t get to and MAYBE a grate to connect to that one wall perpendicular to mid, which also would be ass for the same reasons.

So maybe the reverse facelift for Hammerhead was cuz of Tricolors? Like, I’ve heard SO much bitching about this map (which ain’t even that bad 🙄), but I heard almost nothing about it’s Tricolor layout being bad.

Here’s Tricolor Hammerhead for comparison btdubs:

The defending team has a lot of open space to work with and can leave their spawn easily and aren’t completely fucked if the attackers get an Ultra Signal due to the amount of space they have. And the attacking team has a lot of approach options and getting an Ultra Signal is a plus without making it an immediate win for attackers. It’s almost like this map was perfect for Tricolors!

And for Mahi?

Similar issues as Hammerhead, where would the defending team spawn? On islands that can be accessed by anyone? Yeah, like that would work! The islands are waaaay too small to land on AND have a decent amount of cover from the attacking teams. And even with changes to give them more wiggle room (like a new island or walls to block off charger fire), the defending team is so far away from mid compared to the attacking team. The attackers can book it for the Ultra Signal like it’s a Black Friday shoe sale (with slightly more violence) and the defending team can’t do jack shit!

But with the new (and definitely not improved) Mahi, they can easily make it Tricolor ready. Just remove the middle pillar, make the islands only accessible to the defending team, and give it some more space, and you got a good looking Tricolor version of Mahi.

As for the other two S1 maps. Museum just needs to make the right side of the spawn areas only accessible to the defending team and remove the glass. And while we haven’t seen all of Flounder Heights yet, we do know that either team can’t go up through the right side, so all the devs need to do is make it so the defending team can’t be camped from the left side and they’re golden.

Now, is this a good excuse to change what were some of the best maps in Splatoon 1? Hell no 😂. But is it a possible excuse for why these maps got a reverse facelift? Unfortunately yes. But it’s whatevs, these maps will probably get a renovation if they’re really that bad, so let’s hope they actually take our criticisms and fix them up 🤞.

[5-leaf-clover]

Slight addendum since we now have 6 Tricolor maps but it’s both really funny and sad that good map design is actually a limited time game mode. A lot of map design decisions that would, like, actually make the maps better are totally a Tricolor exclusive. And the map changes that we permanently get is a fucking stripper pole on Wahoo World that doesn’t even protect you from chargers.

[5-leaf-clover]

Thought I’d make another addendum to this now that Sizzle Season gave us more Tricolors and shit.

One thing I didn’t talk about in the original post was Big Run, because it didn’t fucking exist at the time. But now that it’s an established thing, I feel like this is a good time to talk about it.

My original theory for why maps in this game are the way they are is that they were all made, redone (for better or worse) or added to be used as Tricolor Stages, but as I thought about it, I realized that they are probably also made to be potential Big Run maps as well.

For example, Inkblot Art Academy, tbh I never saw this thing as being good in Tricolor. The sides are super low, impossible to retreat out of bc of the massive drop, and even on ranked modes, you only get a ramp or two and maaaaybe an inkable wall. The defending team loses before the match even begins...

But becoming a Big Run map was waaay better for it than becoming a Tricolor. The sides are a great place for Salmonids to spawn since you want them to come to you, and the terrain is varied enough to both give advantageous positions to players while giving plenty of routes for Salmonids. 

Another example, Mahi Mahi Resort. This map got a major reverse glow up when it came to Splatoon 3. One of the smallest maps in the game (if not the entire series), islands are almost completely gone, spawn is super campy. It’s not really the best stage and it did not need to be changed at all. And while I still believe Triciolor could totally work on this map. I don’t feel like the map “renovation” was worth having it for Tricolor.

But the “renovation” was probably worth it (in the devs eyes) if they are planning for it to be a Big Run. The S1 version of Mahi would be hell without massive changes that would make the stage unrecognizable.

As a final note, I need to mention that currently, half of all the stages in the game either have a Tricolor or a Big Run variant. So at the rate things are going, all stages will have one of the two by the time all the updates.

You know, unless this happens.

Even with Undertow getting both a Big Run AND a Tricolor version, 9 of the 18 stages have a limited-time mode version. But now the devs opened up the possibility that more stages will get the same special treatment as Undertow. So unless they don’t plan to give us 2 maps every major update (which will probs happen now that I’ve said it 😓), we will not get a limited-time mode version for every map if this happens even one more time. This is assuming we get 3 of each for every update from here on out. Obvi it will vary since sometimes we get 2, and sometimes we get 4.

[5-leaf-clover]

I lowkey really think that the Sizzle Season update is gonna be the best update for Splatoon long term. Like, literally all of the new weapons (except for technically one) have sub weapons that aren’t bombs.

2 have Ink Mine

2 have Line Marker (or Angle Shooter if you’re lame as fuck)

2 have Sprinkler

2 have Beakons (we got two last time, we totally did not need more)

1 has Point Sensor

1 has Splash Wall

1 has Curling Bomb (can technically kill, but like, come on)

I see no reason for the devs to do this unless there is a total sub weapon balance overhaul planned. 

[5-leaf-clover]

Slut era is officially over. 💔 Gold Dynamo isn’t even in Sizzle Season cuz Nogami himself totally hates me in particular. Sad!

Also Painbrush is so gonna get Curling Bomb and Crab Tank just to rub salt in the wound and make it DOA like the S Blast ‘92. I can practically feel the dodgeball about to eviscerate me like an orbital strike. 💥

[5-leaf-clover]

Just thought I’d put my two cents on why the map layouts for the returning Splatoon 1 stages (looking at you Hammerhead and Mahi, like ew 🤢) are so totally ass compared to their old versions. And I’m like 99% sure it’s cuz of Tricolors.

Like, currently there are 3 Tricolor maps in 3, we’ve already seen Sturgeon and Hammerhead (and I won’t spoil the third, you’re so welcome). But it’s pretty safe to assume that every map will have a Tricolor version by the end of the game’s major updates, even if they’re horrid.

Anyhow, from what I’ve seen of the old Splatoon 1 stages that are already confirmed/in the game, old Hammerhead and Mahi would so not work as Tricolors. For example, let’s look at Hammerhead Bridge’s layout from the first game (Turf War for obvi reasons):

If we assume the map received no changes, ⭐ is the where the Ultra Signal would be, and 🔄 is where the defending team’s drone thingies would be. This layout would be totally broken. Defending team would drop into low ground with either attacking team ready to run a train (or maybe a Reefslider) through them at countless angles. And the devs seem totally scared of changing these maps much for Tricolors, so they’d probably add a small spawn area that the attacking teams can’t get to and MAYBE a grate to connect to that one wall perpendicular to mid, which also would be ass for the same reasons.

So maybe the reverse facelift for Hammerhead was cuz of Tricolors? Like, I’ve heard SO much bitching about this map (which ain’t even that bad 🙄), but I heard almost nothing about it’s Tricolor layout being bad.

Here’s Tricolor Hammerhead for comparison btdubs:

The defending team has a lot of open space to work with and can leave their spawn easily and aren’t completely fucked if the attackers get an Ultra Signal due to the amount of space they have. And the attacking team has a lot of approach options and getting an Ultra Signal is a plus without making it an immediate win for attackers. It’s almost like this map was perfect for Tricolors!

And for Mahi?

Similar issues as Hammerhead, where would the defending team spawn? On islands that can be accessed by anyone? Yeah, like that would work! The islands are waaaay too small to land on AND have a decent amount of cover from the attacking teams. And even with changes to give them more wiggle room (like a new island or walls to block off charger fire), the defending team is so far away from mid compared to the attacking team. The attackers can book it for the Ultra Signal like it’s a Black Friday shoe sale (with slightly more violence) and the defending team can’t do jack shit!

But with the new (and definitely not improved) Mahi, they can easily make it Tricolor ready. Just remove the middle pillar, make the islands only accessible to the defending team, and give it some more space, and you got a good looking Tricolor version of Mahi.

As for the other two S1 maps. Museum just needs to make the right side of the spawn areas only accessible to the defending team and remove the glass. And while we haven’t seen all of Flounder Heights yet, we do know that either team can’t go up through the right side, so all the devs need to do is make it so the defending team can’t be camped from the left side and they’re golden.

Now, is this a good excuse to change what were some of the best maps in Splatoon 1? Hell no 😂. But is it a possible excuse for why these maps got a reverse facelift? Unfortunately yes. But it’s whatevs, these maps will probably get a renovation if they’re really that bad, so let’s hope they actually take our criticisms and fix them up 🤞.

[5-leaf-clover]

Slight addendum since we now have 6 Tricolor maps but it’s both really funny and sad that good map design is actually a limited time game mode. A lot of map design decisions that would, like, actually make the maps better are totally a Tricolor exclusive. And the map changes that we permanently get is a fucking stripper pole on Wahoo World that doesn’t even protect you from chargers.

[5-leaf-clover]

My sweet summer child if you get the worst kit a Dynamo has ever seen in the next update I will perish to victorian wasting disease.

[5-leaf-clover]

I fucking love the new pokemon fusion generator because just about any fully evolved pokemon can be combined with Gardevoir in this thing and it’s a transfem goal. Like, you can probably fuse it with an Amoonguss and it’ll look like a total goddess.

For example:

Gardevoir + Beedrill

Went from 3-foot bee with anger issues and low stats to an absolute queen. 💜

Oh also the other one will almost always just have Gardevoir’s face and palette and have Gardevoir’s arms tacked on and it looks like Miku’s leeks.

[5-leaf-clover]

Everyone thinks that Team Sweet is gonna win popular vote by a landslide but watch Shiver win it because all the dumbest hoes alive vote for her as if they can handle spicy food bc they ate dollar store “spicy” salsa once without spontaneously combusting.

[5-leaf-clover]

I am soooooo glad that I was wrong because those results were too close for comfort and if Team Sweet lost we would NEVER hear the end of it. And I would’ve probably been hit with, like, a thousand dodgeballs.

GGs Team Spicy and Sour!

[5-leaf-clover]

Everyone thinks that Team Sweet is gonna win popular vote by a landslide but watch Shiver win it because all the dumbest hoes alive vote for her as if they can handle spicy food bc they ate dollar store “spicy” salsa once without spontaneously combusting.

[5-leaf-clover]

Kinda surprised the Splatoon Twitter community hasn’t come back here yet. Like, I get that Twitter is better for “interaction” or whatever, but it’s becoming more of a total dumpster fire by the day. And it’s not like it can’t thrive here (or at least survive), either. Embrace tradition, it’s time to move on from the bird app.

[5-leaf-clover]

Incredibly minor spoilers for Pokemon Scarlet/Violet ahead!

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So I decided to pick up a Scatterbug and evolve it into Vivillon to see what pattern it would get, I totes knew it was gonna be some lame-ass pattern like Modern 🤢🤮 bc I haven’t moved far enough away from home to change what I would’ve gotten in X and Y, but you know, whatever, at least I complete a Pokedex entry, right?

EXCEPT I GET THE FUCKING FANCY PATTERN!?! ISN’T THIS MYSTERY GIFT ONLY!??!

[5-leaf-clover]

So apparently this is literally the ONLY pattern available without transfering old Vivillons from past games. The Vivillon stock market isn’t just crashing, it has totally imploded. Every other pattern is rare now.

[5-leaf-clover]

Incredibly minor spoilers for Pokemon Scarlet/Violet ahead!

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So I decided to pick up a Scatterbug and evolve it into Vivillon to see what pattern it would get, I totes knew it was gonna be some lame-ass pattern like Modern 🤢🤮 bc I haven’t moved far enough away from home to change what I would’ve gotten in X and Y, but you know, whatever, at least I complete a Pokedex entry, right?

EXCEPT I GET THE FUCKING FANCY PATTERN!?! ISN’T THIS MYSTERY GIFT ONLY!??!

[5-leaf-clover]

There’s a tropical storm 🌪 kinda close to my area (what’s up Nicole you bitch) and on Pokemon Go all of the encounters for literal miles are just fucking Croagunks.

There’s totally a kind of sign or omen here but unfortunately I can’t read so wish me luck! 😘❤

[5-leaf-clover]

Hey anyone remember when the Splatoon devs casually dropped the biggest Splatoon 3 spoiler almost 4 years in advance and everyone just totally forgot about it until the After Alterna log?

[5-leaf-clover]

Someone put the Gir Hoodie on Farigiraf.

DO IT NOW

[5-leaf-clover]

Just thought I’d put my two cents on why the map layouts for the returning Splatoon 1 stages (looking at you Hammerhead and Mahi, like ew 🤢) are so totally ass compared to their old versions. And I’m like 99% sure it’s cuz of Tricolors.

Like, currently there are 3 Tricolor maps in 3, we’ve already seen Sturgeon and Hammerhead (and I won’t spoil the third, you’re so welcome). But it’s pretty safe to assume that every map will have a Tricolor version by the end of the game’s major updates, even if they’re horrid.

Anyhow, from what I’ve seen of the old Splatoon 1 stages that are already confirmed/in the game, old Hammerhead and Mahi would so not work as Tricolors. For example, let’s look at Hammerhead Bridge’s layout from the first game (Turf War for obvi reasons):

If we assume the map received no changes, ⭐ is the where the Ultra Signal would be, and 🔄 is where the defending team’s drone thingies would be. This layout would be totally broken. Defending team would drop into low ground with either attacking team ready to run a train (or maybe a Reefslider) through them at countless angles. And the devs seem totally scared of changing these maps much for Tricolors, so they’d probably add a small spawn area that the attacking teams can’t get to and MAYBE a grate to connect to that one wall perpendicular to mid, which also would be ass for the same reasons.

So maybe the reverse facelift for Hammerhead was cuz of Tricolors? Like, I’ve heard SO much bitching about this map (which ain’t even that bad 🙄), but I heard almost nothing about it’s Tricolor layout being bad.

Here’s Tricolor Hammerhead for comparison btdubs:

The defending team has a lot of open space to work with and can leave their spawn easily and aren’t completely fucked if the attackers get an Ultra Signal due to the amount of space they have. And the attacking team has a lot of approach options and getting an Ultra Signal is a plus without making it an immediate win for attackers. It’s almost like this map was perfect for Tricolors!

And for Mahi?

Similar issues as Hammerhead, where would the defending team spawn? On islands that can be accessed by anyone? Yeah, like that would work! The islands are waaaay too small to land on AND have a decent amount of cover from the attacking teams. And even with changes to give them more wiggle room (like a new island or walls to block off charger fire), the defending team is so far away from mid compared to the attacking team. The attackers can book it for the Ultra Signal like it’s a Black Friday shoe sale (with slightly more violence) and the defending team can’t do jack shit!

But with the new (and definitely not improved) Mahi, they can easily make it Tricolor ready. Just remove the middle pillar, make the islands only accessible to the defending team, and give it some more space, and you got a good looking Tricolor version of Mahi.

As for the other two S1 maps. Museum just needs to make the right side of the spawn areas only accessible to the defending team and remove the glass. And while we haven’t seen all of Flounder Heights yet, we do know that either team can’t go up through the right side, so all the devs need to do is make it so the defending team can’t be camped from the left side and they’re golden.

Now, is this a good excuse to change what were some of the best maps in Splatoon 1? Hell no 😂. But is it a possible excuse for why these maps got a reverse facelift? Unfortunately yes. But it’s whatevs, these maps will probably get a renovation if they’re really that bad, so let’s hope they actually take our criticisms and fix them up 🤞.