you wanna talk about stress? you wanna talk about STRESS? i’ve just stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, mac. how’s that for stress? this company is being bled like a stuck pig, mac, and i got a paper trail to prove it. check this out. take a look at this. that right there is the mail, now, let’s talk about the mail. can we talk about the mail? please, mac? i’ve been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? pepe silvia. this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day, pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. i look in the mail. this whole BOX is pepe silvia. so i say to myself, i gotta find this guy. i gotta go up to his office. i gotta put the guy’s mail in the guy’s god damn hands, otherwise he’s never gonna get it. it’s gonna keep coming back down here. so i go up to pepe’s office, and what. do. i. find. out? what do i find out? there is no pepe silvia. the man does not exist. so i decide, ohhh shit, buddy, i gotta dig a little deeper. there’s no pepe silvia? you gotta be kidding me? i got BOXES full of pepe! all right, so i start marching my way down to carol in HR, and knock on her door and i say CAAAAAAAAAROL, CAAAAAAAAROL, i gotta talk to you about pepe! and when i open the door, what do i find? there’s not a single goddamn desk in that office there is. no. carol. in. h. r. mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. this office is a goddamn ghost town.
