[5miling]

i seriously had 10k+ followers on this website when I was in 7th grade. Wtf

[guy]

how do i stop growing up this isn’t fun anymore

[feministism]

[themasterpupil]

always remember

[unclefather]

someones mom: make yourself at home, would you like something to drink?

me: *very dry mouth like spongebob in sandy’s tree dome*

me: no thank you

[biodegrade]

my American gf: pound me me: what’s that in metric

[toastbutteregg]

i dont know whether to award him dad of the year or not

[teardropsonmyguitar]

just saying but i think i had a pretty rough year and i deserve some of that romantic love type stuff

[whimsywandering]

if you're having a bad day

just remember that I, a registered nurse with a bachelors degree, accidentally glued a patient’s foreskin shut over his penis and had to call a urology doctor to come help me get it to retract

[whimsywandering]

I had to send a page that said “I glued the patient’s penis shut. send help.”

The urology resident said, “Wow. I’ve never seen anything like this. Let me go ask someone else.”

[whimsywandering]

It’s been like 5 days since this happened and I’m just sitting at the nurses station with some coworkers and the urology resident walks by and says “hey! Glue any penises shut lately??” And keeps on walking

THEN ALL MY COWORKERS WERE LIKE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

and so yeah, that freaking doctor exposed me and went on his way

[princesconsuela]

[brucesterling]

*The Birth of Modern Oligarchy

[yeahiwasintheshit]

dont fucking forget what happened in 1980… fucking reagan and reaganonics. this is why republicans still celebrate that shitty old bitch

[robeblr]

THAT SHITTY OLD BITCH

[5miling]

Ive just come to accept that I am a sad person naturally but I can still try to be happy and appreciate all the good things in my life even if I am overall depressed

[blackness-by-your-side]

100%

[tastefullyoffensive]

[mapsontheweb]

The World with landlocked regions removed.

[nutsacktorturer]

good post

[pope-pius-xiii]

You can only reblog this blessed post if you have access to the sea.

[joshpeck]

[pricepayer]

no i am going to do coke

[n-award]

there she is

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[criiller]

I’m always a slut for deep conversations and exploring our feelings at 1am