“2019 will be–” SHUT the fuck up okay the evil eye is out for blood i swear we do this every year
i’m here to protect u all bc u sure won’t protect urselves, evidently
sheepfilms
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

@theartofmadeline
ojovivo

shark vs the universe
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Cosmic Funnies
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
taylor price

Product Placement

#extradirty

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Jules of Nature
KIROKAZE

oozey mess
cherry valley forever
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines
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@613thezine
“2019 will be–” SHUT the fuck up okay the evil eye is out for blood i swear we do this every year
i’m here to protect u all bc u sure won’t protect urselves, evidently
TABORI BICSKA: A knife with the Hebrew words “Shabbat koddesh” meaning Holy Shabbat. Dimensions: 2.4 cm x 13.5 cm.
Can you really be the Shabbat Queen if you don’t have this badass knife in your hand?
In a turn of events that surprises exactly no one, it turns out that Jews like Dungeons and Dragons, a game that involves lots of books, lots of rules, and lots of arguing.
@dafyomilimerick replied to your photo:
“Anything is within your alignment if you can make a convincing case to the DM. The rest is commentary. Go and learn.” – Rabbi Hillel, 25th level Cleric.
For those who don’t know, the Sambatyon or Shabbat River is a legendary river which runs for six days of the week in a deadly torrent and on Shabbat, does not run. Legend has it that the Ten Lost Tribes were exiled to the other side of the Sambatyon, and many expeditions have gone to find it, but the thing is – the river is too wild to cross on the six days of the week, and on Shabbat it is forbidden to travel. So it’s impossible to cross, but in a very Jewish way where it’s not just STRAIGHT-UP IMPOSSIBLE, it’s impossible on a LEGAL TECHNICALITY. What’s on the other side? We’ll never know
If you write fantasy stories, please consider: this
This is in my notes along with the city that the angel of death cannot touch bc they’re so GOOD.
Me when I go to synagogue (from The Story of the Jews: Belonging by Simon Schama).
hey jewtuals check out this certified Relatable Jewish Content
@ariminak @bundism @solomonspussy @shabbosgay @thedreideldiaries @goylentgreen
Mood
Just One Mitzvah
I get a lot of asks about becoming more observant all the time, most often about tsnius things, but often general ritual.
It always feel disingenuous to answer this in any straight forward way. I definitely have not taken everything on I could, and I definitely did not wake up one day and start keeping everything I do now.
It was a disjointed path, with lots of back tracks and waxing & waning of enthusiasm.
For anyone trying to get their head around daily prayers however, I would recommend picking one of the three following:
1. write out the morning prayer, in hebrew, transliterated & english. I still have: modeh ani l’fonecha melech chai v’kaiyahm she-heh-che-zarta bee nish’mati b’chemla raba ehmuna-techa, written on a piece of card by my bed. It’s the first thing I see when I wake up. 2. write out the (shortened) version of the bedtime shema, and also put that by your bed, so you can see it before you go to sleep. 3. pick one food bracha you’re going to take on, I recommend fruits of the tree. Write it out and stick it to your kitchen wall, but also save it on your phone, and practice it. All other brachos can be set aside for now, this one you’re going to learn. Start small, first make it always apples you say it for, and then widen it. Make it so you can’t pick up a piece of fruit without hesitating like something is missing.
be happy to just stick with this one little thing until you have that down. Observance is an endless journey, knowing where to start can seem impossible. But this thing, this thing is going to be yours, it’s going to be your daily moment to haShem.
here’s my small festive drawing for Chanukkah. i hope you’re all having a happy celebration! ✨🕎🔯
Bracha for avoiding arguments on the Internet
ברוך אתה יי אלוהנו מלך העולם שעשני עם הגאון ושכל בשביל לא להיכנס ויכוחים כאלה באינטרנט
Baruch ata Adonai, eloheinu melech ha-olam, sheasani im higaon v'shechel bishvil lo lehikanes vikukhim kaele b’internet.
Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, sovereign of the universe, who made me with reason and sense not to get into arguments like these on the Internet.
Umm...Spock is not jewish. In fact, as a scientist and someone who follows the principles of Surak he probably finds all earth religions highly illogical, and feels nothing more than academic curiosity towards them.
Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I must’ve hallucinated the part where he was LITERALLY RESURRECTED FROM THE DEAD.
Okay I finally have energy/enough sleep to respond to this.
Has no one on this website heard of the concept of coding??? Or more basically the fact that people in a religious group are not homogeneous and can have varying levels of practice??? No one is saying Spock is getting up here putting a kippah on and reading from a Torah but I swear people have to be willfully ignorant to ignore the parallels that SO MANY JEWS have pointed out between Vulcans’ HIGHLY MYSTICAL culture and Jewish mysticism. These parallels are indicative of Jew coding, where the writer(s) don’t literally say “hey this character is Jewish” but they do about every other reference in the book besides explicitly saying it. Vulcan Jewishness can’t even be classified as subtle but I swear unless Spock wore a T-shirt saying “I’m Jewish” people would be in (probably bluespock’s) inbox talking about how there’s not enough proof, as if everyone’s forgotten how to infer. Did everyone need Gene Roddenberry and Leonard Nimoy to pull a Charles Dickens and refer to his only Jewish character as “the Jew” like a True Antisemite™ for this to sound believable?
Like Jew coding is a thing it’s a very real culture phenomenon, and it’s usually used negatively (just like queer coding) to give obviously evil/greedy/selfish characters Jewish characteristics. Just like queer coded villains typically break gender/sexual binaries and hierarchies as part of their coding, Jew coded villains are money grubbing, large nosed, empathy-lacking outsiders who probably make children uncomfortable for good measure (because we can’t have the Jews corrupting our Good Christian Youth™). And even if people don’t pick up on this explicitly they still start to subconsciously associate these characteristics, these JEWISH characteristics, with evil and sin. Which is why it’s so important to have explicitly Jewish and Jew-coded HEROES in media, to combat this. I honestly do not understand why people are so hell bent on taking that away.
Also if I hear one more person make the trite, tired argument that science and religion cannot coexist I’m going to hurl several history books at this website. That is a fabrication made up in the last century that has never before been the case and is still barely true. Most scientists before 1850 were devout Christians (start with Issac Newton and just keep looking up his contemporaries and the scientists of the next half century; there are so many examples), and that’s not even getting into the amazing Muslim mathematicians that have existed over the past several centuries. Albert Einstein was literally Jewish. Like, literally left Nazi Germany for fear of being killed Jewish. Like, people didn’t want to give his theories the time of day for YEARS because of antisemitism Jewish.
You can be spiritual/religious and still believe in science. You can be a SCIENTIST and still be spiritual/religious. Ironically, Vulcans are such a good example of that. Their spirituality and their logic are present in different parts of their lives. Their spirituality serves one purpose and their logic serves another. Shockingly, people can have different approaches to different concepts and problems. Yet, people will continue to perpetuate the idea that science and religion are black and white opposites even though there’s barely a basis for it.
According to the novels, Spocks mother had Jewish family so if you count them as canon it’s literally canon that Spock is Jewish
has no one ever seen the Original Series episode “Patterns of Force”?
the episode where Kirk and Spock (played by the very Jewish William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy) beam down to an alien planet, Ekos, that has (because reasons) instituted a Nazi regime?
the episode where the Zeons (the aliens being persecuted by the Ekosians) are named things like Isak and Abrom?
the one where Kirk and Spock are arrested for being suspected Zeons? and then Spock, being “examined” by the Nazi scientists, is declared an obviously inferior and unintelligent subspecies because of the shape of his facial features, while we, the audience, know that he’s the goddamn science officer? THAT EPISODE?
like holy hot damn, they just about stopped short of having him read from the Torah. there’s coding and then there’s A TOTAL LACK OF SUBTLETY.
Has no one ever read Nemoy’s very own explanation that he devised the Vulcan salute from the Priestly Blessing position, representing the Hebrew letter Shin (ש)? Guess what? Jewish!
If you don’t want to read Leonard Nimoy’s biography, this part is on Wikipedia, for cripe’s sake!
I made a post about all of this awhile back, and despite its generally very positive reception, I’ve been receiving pitifully uneducated “SPOCK CAN’T BE JEWISH!!1!!!!” messages about it ever since. I’m so damn tired.
At this point, I don’t even care if Spock is explicitly religious or not (despite the SIGNIFICANT evidence to display that he and most other Vulcans are at the very least spiritual)—the point is, the goyim who send these messages are displaying and exercising uninformed rhetoric rooted in a FUNDAMENTAL misunderstanding of how ethnoreligions work.
You can blindly and unenlightenedly dismiss these fictional interpretations and analyses all you want, but at the end of the day, you still haven’t learned a damn thing about Judaism and Jewish identity.
As always with discussions like this, my big question to people who are arguing that Spock isn’t Jewish is “what do you lose if he is?”
Because there really isn’t an answer that’s not ugly.
Jewish Survival Guide: Christmas Season Edition
Whenever someone says “Merry Christmas!” to you, respond, “I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is.”
Carry around a jar labeled “Jewish Christmas jar” and anytime someone refers to Chanukah as “Jewish Christmas” make them put in $5.
Try to pay for things in gelt.
Write outraged letters to Chick fil A and Hobby Lobby accusing them of a war on Chanukah because no one said Chanukah sameach to you when you checked out.
Pretend not to know what your friends’ stockings are and attempt to place them on your feet.
Show up to white elephant parties with a dreidel and try to get everyone to gamble away their presents.
If you work in retail, swap your store’s Christmas music out with klezmer when no one’s looking.
Whenever someone asks you if Jews celebrate Christmas, blow an air horn in their face.
Time for the annual reblog
When someone asks what holiday song you want to listen to, immediately begin hollering maoz tzur
Add this one to the list
When someone wants to read the Night Before Christmas, pretend to go and get it, but bring back the Torah and read it like it is the Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before yom tov and all through the minyan, people were arguing. 10 Jews, 15 opinions.
I can’t help with what should be read on the night before christmas, but christmas day itself is a monday, so after you gather that minyan, do three aliyos of parsha vayechi.
Something you need to wrap your head around about Judaism
Judaism is the religion of the Jewish people. It is not a religion that happens to be practiced by people called Jews.
Judaism is rooted in peoplehood, a specific culture from a specific time that has developed over the centuries but nevertheless share a common history and language. (Edit: In this way, Judaism has a lot more in common with indigenous religions than with Christianity or Islam.)
That’s why converting to Judaism has so much in common with getting married (in the legal and social sense, not the purely romantic one). You’re not just getting hitched to a specific person. You’re also joining a family. A very old, very large, very diverse, and very particular extended family.
Bringing this back because people often forget this, even people who claim to be supportive of converts.
I have a distinct memory from my childhood of my parents arguing in the kitchen after our Passover seder. They realized after clearing the table that my family members had drank the last of our wine and we had nothing to leave out for Elijah. My dad suggested we could leave a can of Coke, and my mom shrieked, “You can’t leave COKE for ELIJAH!”
now you can :P
new rule: you’re only allowed encourage people to punch nazis if you truly and actively support Jewish people
uhh Nazis want a lot of people dead, not just the Jews. ya ain’t special.
you literally just all lives matter’d the holocaust
@tikkunolamorgtfo do your thing, love.
Listen.
Jews and Roma were the only two groups slated for total annihilation by the Nazis.
That’s not to say other people weren’t persecuted under Nazism, but when it comes to other groups, not only were they generally spared the death camps, but there always exceptions made when it suited the Third Reich. There were disabled people who were never targeted (Goebbels being a prime example). Hitler only had Ernst Rohm (a high-ranking gay Nazi official) taken out because he thought he posed a threat to his leadership; prior to that point, he actually did everything he could to make sure other people didn’t discredit Rohm because of his gayness.
Other groups generally just had to denounce ideologies and declare loyalty to the Reich. Many refused and were targeted because of it, Jews and Roma? No such option.
If you were a gay or disabled or communist Jewish or Romani person, you had no option to be overlooked—because as a Jewish or Romani person, you were already on the docket for extermination.
Look, I’m mixed-race. I’m South Asian and Jewish. And sure, neo-Nazis definitely don’t love me for being Desi, but they’ll always hate me first and foremost for my Jewishness, because that is what Nazis do.
So don’t come at us with this “All Lives Matter” bullshit. When it comes to Nazism, the top targets have always been Jews and Roma.
Jews lost 1/3 of their total population in the Holocaust. Romani people lost up to a half of theirs.
“Ya ain’t special”?! Do you know how much Jews and Roma wish they hadn’t been ‘special’? Do you know what it would mean to us to have those millions of dead back? Neither of us have reached our world populations Pre-Holocaust. 70+ years later and there are still less of us in the world than their were in 1938. That’s what Nazism did to us. That’s what Nazism is to us—mass depletion on a global scale. And you don’t have the right or power to rewrite that fact.
Go fuck a lulav.
Happy Passover Jews are indigenous to Israel bye 🙏🏼🤴🏽👫👫👫🌴🐫🏛🌄📖🕍🕯🕯📚🌺🌸✨🔙👩🏻🌾🌴🌾🏝🏜🏞🕍🌅🏙✡️🕎🇮🇱
“descended from” and “indigenous to” are two different things but okay
I mean, not really, unless the central crux of your framework is that you can’t possibly apply the indigenous label to Jews because you erroneously believe acknowledging this would somehow force you to validate Israel, and therefore you need to find a way to verbally and philosophically dance around the issue so that a simple statement of fact doesn’t betray your agenda.
Honestly, I hate all sides of the I/P discourse so fucking much, and I can’t wait for the day when the aliens come and put the entire region on lockdown, forcing Jews and Palestinians to join forces and fight side by side the only way they know how, which will be through circle dancing, the love of pomegranates, and a knack for surviving against all unthinkable odds.
Can’t make heads or tails of chazeret and charoset? This Passover infographic can help.
Our seder table (yes, those are legomen)