Monterey Bay Aquarium
ojovivo
Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
almost home
Product Placement
todays bird
hello vonnie
DEAR READER
h
🪼
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@777nicetits
Masterlist !
(all jschlatt for now)
♡︎ = fluff / ♥︎ = smut / ★ = angst / ☻︎ = humor / ✿ = personal fav
۶•ৎ | when he gets your motherly instincts acting up>>> (♡︎☻︎✿)
۶•ৎ | priorities (︎☻︎★-ish)
۶•ৎ | let’s make a video for our future selfs (♡︎☻︎)
۶•ৎ | romantic getaway gone wrong! (♡︎♥︎ | coming soon)
something about early seasons criminal minds and preacher’s daughter just compliment each other so nicely
this is very important, btw.
wanted to get fucked up but college decided to fuck me instead 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
i miss my childhood..
─── little help here, everyone .ᐣ
⋆｡°✩ reader edition
gonna keep my next series idea a secret... but what are we thinking of for reader's profession/aesthetic?
fashiondesigner!reader
poet!reader
tailor!reader
thriftstoreworker!reader
indiefilmmaker!reader
i have a better idea (tell me now)
vibes i'm looking for are like alternative girl who's broke but always has a good time OR like intensely artsy and deep. literally opposites sides of a spectrum.
and now... calling upon my disciples (aka my board of trusted moots) to answer my call. (please tell me if you would like to be removed from the taglist!!)
@777nicetits, @lanadoeswriting, @medlarmeadows, @memento-rory, @ilov3thestarz, @slimeypaws, @milf-ivy, @k4lenz, @melrambles
the right answer is always fashion designer (but anything u pick is gonna be perfect pookie i know it 😚😚)
"schlatt forced me to do this" (tumblr's version)
it's a good time to spread love! it was valentines day like ... a little bit ago, right?
so here are my favorite writers, and my favorite fics. each under a nice, neat little category for your viewing pleasure.
JSCHLATT
writers
@burdenandacrop, @memento-rory, @777nicetits
fics
plush obsessed gf x schlatt who punches them when she's not around by @schluttforschlatt *SO CUTE!
these hands can only be gentle by @burdenandacrop *most comforting fic i've ever read. dead dove do not eat fic.
do not disrespect my wife like that. by @amayalul *lore accurate and made me giggle + kick my feet.
angsty bully!schlatt fic by @memento-rory *this one because its ending satisfies me. girlboss reader.
my heart is buried in st. lucia by @memento-rory *being a jschlatt x reader fan and not reading st. lucia is like never reading harry potter. it's a classic. we all love it. we quote it. it is love. it is life. you are cultured if you have seen it and if you haven't go read it !! (ik jk rowling is shit but just the series itself.)
so drunk schlatt/ted can't recognize you by @memento-rory *silly and schlatt's is especially lore accurate. also i am biased towards rory. because rory gives cool older sibling of the jschlatt x reader community vibes.
big guy (headcanons) by @k4lenz *no i am NOT biased because kalen is my little australian buddy. these are cute and kalen just knows how to channel the schlatt voice.
chatting to schlatt's stream by @777nicetits *this is my favorite social media fic, the real users as chatters is just so cute and it felt SOO realistic. seeing a pattern of i like a fic the more realistic it is??
TED
writers
@k4lenz, and... yeah tbh. sorry ted lovahs!
fics
the boy! (headcanons) by @k4lenz *same reason for jschlatt one. has the voice. lore accurate stuff.
chatting on the pod by @phxntomsdusk *needed more ted fics and this one is just cute. really makes you feel like you're on the good ol' pod with The Boys.
it's all a romcom by @obsessivestar *my introduction to ted fics and a GREAT ONE tbh?? suggested by @the-slimebox
SLIMECICLE
writers
@slimeypaws + @lanadoeswriting !!
fics
athlete!charlie x nerd!reader by @slimeypaws *my favorite charlie!au
we could build a home (we could play pretend) by @fullofgutsndopamine *started my charlie obsession!
streamer headcanons by @lanadoeswriting *inspired "you're a part time lover + a full time friend"!
mathteacher!charlie x englishteacher!reader by @slcmml, who's now @slimeypaws *SOO CUTE AND WIHT THE STUDENTS SENDING THE NOTES AHHH
spiderman!charlie x gnbestfriend!reader by @p3achslimes *THIS also got me into charlie omg omg i lvoe this au it's so charlie coded peach has my heart for this one.
and, as is customary, i challenge @slimeypaws and @k4lenz!! to do this. muahhah. good luck!! :D
omg stoppp i literally just saw this 😭😭😭😭 thank you so much :( it means the world to me 🩷🩷
elitas tumblr era lives in my mind
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ you can travel the world, but nothing comes close to the golden coast!
୨ৎ
being a man of your word was important, sure. okay, technically he did say that he'd never move to LA, but... times change, alright?
ted was overjoyed. it freaked schlatt out a bit. the fact that he was moving to this hundred-degree hellhole wasn't something to squeal and scream over―
wait, why was he moving here again? oh yeah, because of you.
every moment he spent with you felt like deja-vu and whiplash and a wicked high, and it was an indescribable feeling when you locked eyes with him. a few years back when schlatt was in LA for a chuckle episode, well― he'd had to drag him to a proper california party, right? to get the full experience, obviously.
schlatt didn't know what 'the full experience' was supposed to mean. he'd drink out of a sad red solo cup like he was sixteen and not twenty-five, roll his eyes at the thirsty party-goers and try not to grimace if someone recognized him. typical party behavior. and no, he wasn't a wallflower, thank you very much.
he found a seat on the couch that didn't have a... suspicious, to say the least, stain on it, and promptly flopped down onto his now designated seat for the rest of the long-ass night. but seconds into his peaceful lounging, he felt a weight flop down onto the couch next to him. schlatt looked to his right to see a burst of color― there was tinsel in your hair and colored extensions, your makeup made you pop, your clothes and your style― woah.
you were unapologetically yourself, for sure. but all of a sudden, those pretty lips started moving at record speed:
"if you were a marble, would you rather be stuck in the corner of a fishtank for the rest of your life or be in a never-ending rube goldberg machine? y'know that those are, right? the little loopdeedoops―"
he holds up a hand gently, nodding to himself. "yeah, toots, i get the picture. let a man think, will ya? yer askin' life-changing, thought-provoking questions here." he scoffs. "didn't think anyone in LA had half a thought at all with all that plastic surgery, let alone deep ones."
bursting into giggles, you put an arm on his bicep, all smiles. "you're funny. wanna get married?"
his face flushed, but he managed to play it off, scoffing. squinting, he leaned in a little closer, surveying my face and eyes. "are you drunk?"
"are you not?"
rolling his eyes, he grumbles, "i'm not getting married t'ya."
"i promise to put out on our honeymoon?" you bat your eyelashes animatedly, grinning.
"well that sweetens the deal, sweet'art, don't it?"
"suppose so." you lean back on the couch, propping your feet up on the coffee table and accidentally knocked over someones' line of coke with your shoe. "you're just a man. unless you aren't, and i'm sloshed as hell. i'd still hit if you were a chick, though."
"i'm just tickled pink." he deadpans.
too drunk to think straight, you bluntly ask, "man?"
"yes, i'm man. pretty obvious, at least to us who are sober."
you let out a surprised laugh, sloshing your drink around in the red solo cup. "bullshit you're sober. no one's ever sober in LA."
"nuh-uh. i am."
"nuh-uh, i am." you mock his voice, high-pitched and whiny. you point a finger at him accusatorially, your brow furrowing as a teasing smirk crossed your face. "you so got beat up as a kid. it's like, your villain origin story. or something."
"hey, the fuck? i did not, bitch." he barks.
"defensive. denial is the first stage of trauma, honey―"
"―oh, don't give me that honey bullshit, you're the whore that puts out on the honeymoon―" schlatt exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.
you raise your voice, "―you know what, i don't even want to marry you anyway!"
"oh, boohoo. i'm losing such a catch, clearly!" he drawls sarcastically, huffing as he petulantly crosses his arms and rolls his eyes.
"yeah, ya are! i have bigger muscles than you do!"
he sputters, looking genuinely offended. "bull―shit!" he flexes, squeezing his bicep. "the ladies kill for these."
you roll your eyes, sarcastically letting out a little "yuh-huh." you guffaw at the last part, grinning to yourself as you spit back, "i think i speak on behalf of all ladies when i say, she's as dry as a desert down there."
"yuh-huh. fuck you, dumbass." he barks, holding his red solo cup so tight it starts to break under his grip.
"tallass."
he snickers. "drunkass."
"fatass."
schlatt's eyes widen and he pretends to be offended, but you can see a smirk grace the corner of his lip. "hey, ease up now, sugar! it's called a dad bod, and the ladies love it."
"if by 'ladies'" you put up air quotes, "you mean middle-aged white ladies named suannah with a criminal amount of letter repetition in her name―"
he takes one look at you and quips, "you're so drunk you can't even spell susannah."
"yes i can."
never one to back down from pissing anyone in a five-mile radius off, he prods, "do it then."
"S-U-Z," schlatt lets out a satisfied snort, "-A-N... U-H."
grinning from ear to ear and clearly smug as hell that you butchered it so bad, he teases, "dumbass."
"you wanna get out of here?"
he shoots you a serious look that reads 'don't play with me'. "you're drunk." he states.
"not that kinda guy?"
he shakes his head. "nah."
"damn, i found the only one." you pout, dramatically draping yourself on the couch.
schlatt mocks, "oh, woe is me―"
and it was like a flip switched from your snappy, biting personality to a cheery, happy, unicorns-and-rainbows version. "hey, wanna be best friends?" you grin.
he was a little taken aback by this new peppy version of your personality. but what harm was a yes, right? "yeah, sure, LA. don't get a big head 'bout it though, it's just 'cause i pity you."
"humor me and say it's cause i have big tits." you giggle, leaning in real close and looking up at him.
"didn't say that wasn't one of the reasons, now did i, toots?"
you burst into giggles, the only coherent thing he can manage to hear escape your lips is― "it's the best reason."
"for sure." schlatt smiles at you, for real this time. "i'll call us an uber."
୨ৎ
this edit inspired me. infact, it always inspires me. this edit i love. this edit i consume (yes i eat it). this edit me likey.
okay in all seriousness have a good night/day guys lol.
divider credits @enchanthings-a
If you genuinely use ai to write your fanfiction, hop off my page dawg. I had to learn english and I’ve been writing fanfiction for 7+ years, ranging from Jack Frost x Elsa to markiplier x reader, if you don’t have the passion to do something, put the work to develop and become better at it so you use ai, get out.
I’d rather read 1000 fanfics written by a middle schooler than read one singular ai generated fanfic.
What humans put passion and love into cannot be replicated from art to writing, bots can replicate the art but cannot replicate the passion or emotion humans put into their art.
SCHLATT BEING A GIRL'S DAD:
schlatt being a girl's dad entails... with him spoiling his daughter to DEATH with ANYTHING…
schlatt being a girl's dad entails... so many hugs and kisses in bed every morning and reading her a book before bedtime too 🥹🥹🥹
schlatt being a girl's dad entails... him being completely immersed with his daughter. anything or anyone around him doesn’t even matter to him anymore at ALL. all attention is on his daughter <33
schlatt being a girl's dad entails... him constantly talking about his newborn daughter and talking about EVERY tiny movement she’s doing, and i mean EVRY tiny movement 😭😭😭
schlatt being a girl's dad entails... so many pizza cooking dates and taking his daughter to best nyc pizza restaurants and making it their weekly thing 🥹
bonus:
My brain short circuited I think.........
THAT ONE CLIP WHEN SCHLATT FOUND HIS OLD PINK CAMERA
HEAR ME OUT
he shows chat old pics of him and y/n from the camera or just him and y/n looking at the pics together alone
When Schlatt had found his “little girl” camera, he could only think about looking through it once it was fully charged. He waited in the bedroom, doing whatever on his phone until you came in, tucking yourself under his arm, freshly showered and sleepy.
You laid on him lazily, getting his shirt wet with your hair as you watched him do whatever on his phone before a familiar little start up sound goes off.
“Is that the little girl camera?” You ask with a grin, Schlatt reaching over to unplug the familiar pink square, making sure to hold you to his chest.
“Yeah” he chuckles, “found it earlier, wanted to see if it worked or not”
You smile at him as he starts to click the buttons, trying to remember how the camera worked. Once he got the hang of it, it was just the two of you, looking at old photos Schlatt had taken of everyone, occasionally laughing at how different the person was now, how much they had aged.
It was oddly nostalgic, the terrible quality of the camera paired with faces you had remembered looking mature, now remind you more of a teenager’s, of a young adult still trying to figure out their life.
“I’ll never be that young again” you say softly, feeling your sleepiness take over you.
“Yeah, but you get prettier by the day” schlatt mumbles, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you begin to doze off.
He comes across a photo, one where he has you tucked under his arm as you sleep, holding onto him.
Some things never change.
hello I love ur blog smmm! I have a request.. could u do dividers and welcome to my blog thingies in the stlye of red coquette but also kinda gloomy just no pink like a red gloomy coquette if that makes sense???? idk red and beige, kisses, cigarettes, that kinda stuff.... anyway have an AMAZING DAY you are so nice and sweet thank you for your work <3 :D
hi!! (≧◡≦) ♡ here’s your order of welcome banners and matching dividers!! *adds red sprinkles* I hope you like them! ♡︎ Also TYSM for being so kind hehe have a LOVELY DAY! ♡︎♡︎♡︎
free to use! ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ credit would be nice of course! ♡︎
𝒸𝒽ℯ𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝒽ℯ ℴ𝓋ℯ𝓃！ 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ’𝓈 𝓂ℴ𝓇ℯ 𝒹𝒾𝓋𝒾𝒹ℯ𝓇𝓈 + 𝓇ℯ𝓈ℴ𝓊𝓇𝒸ℯ𝓈！ ♡︎
