8 nipples

Emilija, Becca, Jess and Halsz

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Cebu

Our first island stop was Cebu, the home of Kawasan Falls, whale sharks and our new best friend Tata. After travelling for 30 hours by plane and 3 by car it was a huge relief to arrive at Noordzee Hostel, with a private beach, ‘cute’ pool and well stocked bar. It was lazy beach hangs, bonfires and buckets of beer all round as soon as we arrived. Everyone was friendly and we formed what came to be our Cebu family in a matter of hours.

After drinking till the wee hours of the morning on night one we were up by 5:30am to visit Oslob and see the infamous Whale Sharks. Now, don’t get us wrong, these creatures are spectacularly beautiful however, the set up of this trip isn’t what we would consider morally sound. They are wild in the ocean so we thought it would be great but the whale sharks are not given much space at all in between the sea of tourists and plethora of boats. With guides constantly throwing fish to lure them close you find yourself submerged in murky, stinky water holding the side of your boat with no freedom to swim or really move. It was a pleasure to see the sharks themselves but this set up is disturbing their natural habitat and we believe it could be done better and we wouldn’t recommend supporting this organisation, especially if you have a conscious for animal rights.

With the whole day still ahead of us we travelled in the back of a small truck, listening to tunes and hanging on for dear life until we reached Tumalog Falls. This was an amazing follow up to what was a pretty grim morning, with a giant waterfall and huge pool to swim in underneath we floated around here for hours just taking it all in.

Then we discovered the Filipino’s passion for karaoke. Next to the hostel was a shack that could fit maybe 15 people, they sold snacks, cigarettes, 60 peso (aka 1£) bottles of rum and had a karaoke machine that we’re sure echoed across the whole island. Here we met Tata, a middle aged Filipino man with blue painted nails and a great love for western pop music. We bonded over rum and Robbie Williams and before we knew it he had planned for his friends to take us canyoneering through Kawasan Falls the next day. If you ever visit Cebu, you need to do canyoneering here. It was the most extraordinary and beautiful experience of our lives. Jumping off 15 metre high waterfalls into water more blue than the sky. Even those of us who feared heights were overcome by excitement and managed to jump of every single cliff! This finished with fresh mango, bananas and home made sandwiches with Tata and his friends before heading back to a night of karaoke where we literally drank the shack’s bar dry. This resulted in a very unexpected drunken situation...

After far too many beers, countless off pitch karaoke attempts and a skinny dip in the ocean things turned a little sour and a fight broke out. We won’t go into details but one traveller became quite badly beaten and the ambulance had to be called (please note, no Filipinos were involved in this scuffle, this was foreign travellers). You can not call the ambulance here without the police also coming to the scene, so then came a police vehicle covered in bullet holes and an ambulance with nothing but a tattered stretch bed in the back. The two ‘suspects’ were taken away by plain clothed men with massive rifles and as a lone traveller the ‘victim’ needed someone to accompany him to the hospital so the both of us went to help him. The hospital was tiny, 5 rooms at most and the doctors wore tank tops and flip flops however, they were professional and lovely. Tests were done, wounds were cleaned, pain killers given and we got to leave. Heading home via the police station to have the police chief ‘mediate’ the situation and tell us as visitors to this country they don’t want the peace disrupted on their island nor anyone in trouble. We were genuinely surprised and impressed at the hospitality of the Filipino police, after seeing their guns and shot up vehicle we felt like we were in a Narcos episode but it finished in what felt like a lecture from your dad. The aggressive boys were asked to pay hospital bills for our injured friend and we rode in the back of a truck to finally try and sleep after a long day and even longer night.

So what have we learned after our first stop...? Filipino people are among the friendliest and happiest people we have ever met. The country is filled with hidden beauties from the coastline to the jungle and we can’t wait to see what else there is to explore! Next stop, Bohol.

PS canyoneering photos to follow, our friend has them all on his GoPro so we will get them and upload them soon.

[8-nipples-blog]

4 nipples doing Philippines

July 2016 saw four kindred spirits and eight zesty nipples embark on a 6 journey across the globe from London to the great USA (trump wasn't in power yet, it was actually still great). Unfortunately, things didn't go to plan and 8 nipples became 6 after a short two weeks when Jess had to return home to Australia. But with every cloud comes a silver lining and after being apart for one and a half years there's no better excuse to get a few of these nipples back out there and plan another holiday to see each other.

So here we are, Jess and Halsz, after months of planning finally sitting in Manila airport sweating our tits off continuously grabbing each other and pinching ourselves laughing and yelling 'I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE ACTUALLY HERE'

It's hard to find a perfect middle ground and align flight times when you're meeting from opposite sides of the Earth but we decided on the Philippines so we could do something we've never done before and actually swim in a beach together.

After days of googling and researching we managed to booked reasonably cheap flights that got us to Manila within 20 minutes of each other, aahmaaazing right. Yeah, well, classic budget airlines cancelled flights and moved flights which resulted in Jess sitting in Manila airport alone for a nice, easy 10 hours. No worries. After drinking 3 coffees, reading a whole book and walking up and down the isles of the airport with a 13kg backpack for hours she found a spa offering a one hour massage and a shower for a decent fee. The perfect way to pass some time, sweet relaxation and self indulgence before a budget holiday.

Walk in, strip off, cover the unmentionables with a small towel, close your eyes, breathe, relax, enjoy. That's what Jess was ready for. Until, culture shock number 1; We all hear about the various Asian massage styles where they twist and bend your limbs in impossible directions, climb on your back and slap your skin in a kind of masseuse morse code and my word didn't this deliver the stereotype. It just makes it a bit hard to really relax when a young male (teeth in braces mind you) is rubbing your thighs so high you're scared your reflexes will kick in and Venus fly trap this poor boys arm between your legs. Then he rolls me over, pulls the towel down (exposing my breasts completely) and massages my belly, jiggling every part of me. Now don't get me wrong, he was super polite, professional and sweet but there is something so off about a male masseuse pointing at your breasts mid massage and saying 'you want massage there too?'. UH NO THANKS CHEERS THOUGH. Just pull that towel back up puh-lease. Anyway, after showering and washing away the sins of an airport dayspa, I fell asleep only to be woken by security guards a few minutes before the long awaited 'I've landed!' Text from Halsz.

So here we are, after what would have looked like a rom-com movie scene, running and embracing each other laughing and crying; it still feels like we were together only yesterday. We shared our first meal, a romantic serve of McDonalds BFF* fries with weird Asian love soundtracks playing in the background. It's safe to say, this is going to be an amazing and very interesting 3 weeks. Stay tuned, better stories than invasive massages and airport meals to come. Cocktails and picture perfect beaches COME AT US.

*BFF fries is two large fries in one giant pack. Genius.

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Arriving in Portland we immediately fell in love. Each house had its own character with rocking chairs sat on every porch and vintage cars galore. It felt like true American suburbia. Our Airbnb definitely didn’t disappoint either. We were greeted by a white cat with different coloured eyes (in true hipster style) and headed up to our huge loft bedroom with an ensuite with not one but two sinks! After 3 days with no showers we needed the TLC.

Squeaky clean and with a few touches of make up we went for dinner. We did a quick google search of the best places to go and settled on Alberta Street, a cool strip of bars, restaurants and thrift shops. We chose a place called Bye And Bye which had an amazing selection on vegan buddha bowls and had some god damn delicious tofu. Seeing as we hadn’t had too many nights out on this trip and knowing we wouldn’t have to drive anywhere tomorrow we decided to start getting the drinks and more drinks in and more and more drinks in. We ended up in another bar down the road called The Knockback where a fellow boozer delivered possibly the worst back handed compliment to Becca… That she looked like Mick Jagger “in a good way” - cool, thanks -

Stumbling and laughing into an uber home we drank what remained of our camp wine, listened to the Twilight soundtrack for some reason (on this trip we introduced Emilija to the Twilight saga as a right of passage) we took about a thousand selfies and fell into bed.

Waking with sore heads the following day we nursed of hangovers with a hearty brunch at Fuel, not the best grub we’ve had on the trip but it did the trick, at least for a few hours. We then went to explore another well known street called Hawthorne St. This area was much of the same and packed with real hippy hipsters in a different league to your usual Shoreditch kind. And by that we mean everyone has tattoos everywhere, beards, dreadlocks and stained tank tops - a look you could call ‘homeless chic’.

In the morning (Monday 22nd of August) we visited the biggest book shop in America, Powell’s. We lost each other in seconds and within 15 minutes we managed to explore just 1/20 of this ginormous place. After our last lunch in Oregon we got on the road towards Washington (the last State of United States we would check out during this trip).

Feeling a little disheartened that our last day camping had passed by without us realising we decided to have one last hoorah in the woods. With dusk closing in fast we found a free campsite within a state park. Rule No. 1 - Know where you’re sleeping (we didn’t and we still don’t know). This camp, unlike others was practically empty. On arriving we were immediately approached by two men. One of them stood far too close for comfort whilst Emilija was trying to change and the other look as if had been smoking dope his whole life. Asking far too many details about our trip and where we were going to next. We shrugged of any negative thoughts as he was there with a family and it wasn’t like people hadn’t approached us before. Rule No. 2 - Trust your instincts. If it seems creepy, it is. We drank our wine somberly and went to the tent early to watch a film. On shutting off the lights around midnight we settled in to sleep. Five minutes later we hear something. Emilija thought an animal, Halsz thought an owner calling its dog but after a while we realised it was a human saying ‘Hello’ and they were very close to our tent. Sitting up in a panic and switching on a small torch we silently waited. But it continued, ‘Hello… Hello’ again and again, it seemed like it wouldn’t stop. Emilija finally plucked up the courage to call out ‘Who is it?’ which was met with the reply ‘It’s Joshua, your neighbour’. We could hear our heartbeats in our ears, Halsz replied ‘What do you want?’ and he whispered ‘to check how you guys are doing’. With this we snapped back ‘Well we are going to sleep now, go away’. Then there was silence. This may not seem like the biggest deal but when you are three girls alone in a pitch black forest with no phone reception, it is terrifying. What kind of person does this? What was he expecting to happen? Waiting and hoping the coast was clear within two minutes we had thrown our belongings into the car, closed the tent and sped off into the night. Once the adrenaline had slightly worn off we realised that we actually shouldn’t be driving since we had polished off a bottle of wine. Luckily not too far away we found a Motel 6 with one bed left to fit us three. Dreaming of what could have happened we finally got some sleep.

Happy that our horror movie was over, we decided that would be our last trip into the wilderness for a while.

On the bright side we were only one hour away from Seattle.

X

[8-nipples-blog]

Hi!!

From SF we drove to Mendocino as recommended by friends. The town lies next to some scenic white sanded beaches, although the mist clouding the whole coast means there’s no chance of sun bathing. Mendocino is a sweet, tiny town that looks like it’s straight out of a movie set. There were flowers everywhere and small boutiques with hand crafted souvenirs were on every corner (Emilija purchased a banana scrabble game). We spent the night in the Van Damme State Park. We met a group of fellow campers that had been coming to the park in the very same spot for the past 20 years to gather with friends to catch and eat the local delicacy of Abalone - a giant ocean snail. They invited us to join their party in a few days which we politely declined as we had to leave early the next morning. We felt somewhat relieved as we didn’t have the heart to tell them that we are vegetarian.

Next stop was Eureka, and lunch in The Samoa Cookhouse, recommended by our snail enthusiast friends. The Cookhouse is one of a kind. It was once (back in 1890) a lodging place for local lumberjacks. Now it functions as a restaurant with a difference as it only serves one kind of dish per meal and people sit canteen style together like a family dinner. You pay a set price and you can eat and drink as much as you can fit in. The food gave us all a sense of nostalgia for grandma’s cooking so we stuffed ourselves and decided to head further out of Eureka, as it wasn’t the most beautiful town. The waiter at the cookhouse had told us of a nice campsite 30 minutes down the road in Patrick’s Point. This same waiter then went on to give us his number on a napkin and offered his weed services if we wanted to join him at the beach after his shift (we messaged him later to say thanks but no thanks). We arrived at Patricks Point Park and guess what…. the campsite was full. Driving around to find a place for the night all the campsites were either fancy or full so we opted for the cheapest looking motel. There was the worst smell in the room and the smallest double bed you could imagine. It definitely was not worth $61.

Next morning, groggy and annoyed at each other due to the limited space on the bed,we started our journey to Oregon. On the way we passed the greyest beach of all the beaches we took our pictures and carried on to Bandon. We found a beautiful campsite and guess what... it wasn’t full! This time round instead of our traditional choice of wine we bought a bottle of port hoping that it would last for longer. We whiled away the time inventing our own games. First was our own take on sharades and second was a bonding game where you put different topics into a hat then each person pulls out one card and we would discuss it for 4 minutes (or more if we had a lot to say). Before we knew it the whole bottle of Port was gone. The next day before noon we went to explore the old town of Bandon. The famous attraction; and probably the only as Bandon’s old town is very small, was Cranberry Candies Factory (Apparently in this part of US are the biggest cranberry plantations). It was heaven, you could try every candy on offer there. And we did. After a few hours stop to try our best to tan in the peculiarly foggy but beautiful beach, Whisky Run (also including one dead seal), we made it to Elkton. On stepping out of the car we collapsed. In the space of just a couple of hours the temperature went from 23 to 35 degrees. Thankfully this little off road campsite was right next to a fresh water river so this is where we spent the rest of our day. Before taking off to Portland we had a nature shower in the river and set off… not realising that this would turn out to be our last full night of camping.

Stay tuned X

[8-nipples-blog]

Driving into Yosemite we passed through forests of burned trees and black ash, everything had been scorched from a huge forest fire 5 years ago. We hoped this hadn’t effected the whole park but once we passed the gates, giant stone mountains appeared on the horizon. Once again in just a few miles the scenery had changed so dramatically, and it was beautiful. We arrived late in the evening and still not learning from our previous mistakes all the campsites were full. We re-traced our steps back out of the park to find somewhere to stay on the outskirts. Pulling into the first campsite (quite a fancy place with a mini golf course) we could see it was already lined with RV’s. We tried our luck anyway and asked the receptionist, Tom, if there was any space for us. Unfortunately there was no room at the inn but he very kindly said we could stay in the parking lot for free and do and use anything we needed. Surprisingly we actually had our first (and quite possibly the only) good nights sleep in the tent that night.

The next morning we spent half the day hiking up the Vernal Falls track in Yosemite taking in as much of the amazing views as we could. We even managed to dip our toes into the crystal clear waters that ran down from the waterfall. Unfortunately, with time running short to get to San Fran at around 5pm we had to say our goodbyes to the stone peaks to reach the city before dark. We had been given previous warnings of how strict parking rules were in San Fran. When we reached our destination at around 10pm we were seeing just how difficult a task finding any space would be. On our first try we pulled into what we thought was an empty parking lot, on turning off the engine we discovered that we were not, in fact, alone. A gurgling homeless man came stumbling from the bushes and circled our car so on that note we reversed out of there and tried our luck on the main road. Managing to park our car to near perfection, 18 inches from the curb and wheels turned to the right in case of earthquakes, we had dinner at our soon to be hosts favourite local spot The Grove in Pacific Heights. Pulling our bags up the hills of San Francisco was no easy feat but it was worth it when we reached the beautiful rooftop flat which, after our many nights in the forest, was a welcome palace. Our host for the next 5 days would be Basia very best friend of Halszka’s mum…and of course Mishka, a Cornish Rex, and the most friendly cat we’ve ever met. We slept like babies in our comfy beds, however, our routine of waking up at 7am still remained. Our relaxing morning of home spa treatments was some what cut short as it seems almost everywhere in the city you can only park for 2 hours free at a time. Determined not to get a $60 ticket or, god forbid, get towed we went on the mission of finding a new parking space close to the flat. Maybe it’s our luck, or our poor parking skills, or maybe it’s the reality of having a car in SF but it took us a total of 50 minutes to complete this simple task… This turned out to be the standard for us each time. In the afternoon we took a wander along the marine hoping to catch a glimpse of the famous Golden Gate Bridge but due to the low fog we settled with a view of Alcatraz. We then headed to Pier 39 to have a look and take in the smell of the wild sea lions that made their home there many years ago. For dinner we decided to check out Out The Door (OTD for short) an amazing Vietnamese infusion restaurant tucked away on a side street, you could easily pass it without knowing. Luckily, Halszka had been here on her trip before and knew this was a hidden gem not to be missed. Rebecca Hall is an amazing girl. She is a cool companion for the trip and great friend. She has nice hair and I like her…. anyway…

On Saturday (13th August) we were treated to a day of wine tasting in the vineyards of Sonoma. When you’re savouring each sip of wine it doesn’t feel like you are drinking that much but our cheeks soon turned rosy and we became what can only be described as schmuggley muggly. We left the vineyard with four of our favourite Merlot, however, only two bottles survived until the end of the day.

Feeling slightly foggy the next morning, Emilija headed off to catch up with a friend over coffee and the rest of the troupe decided to work off the pizza and wine with an alternative dance class called 5 rhythms. This was a dance class that welcomes anyone. During each two hour session five different kinds of music play and you can dance however you like to release whatever emotions you feel. The music ranged from psychedelic trance to a classical piece which transformed everyone into prima ballerinas. Basia was in her element prancing her way across the dance floor whilst we, for the first 15 minutes, swayed awkwardly in the corner until cut loose and started to feel the music.

Leaving feeling free of our inhibitions we picked up Emilija and went on to our next active part of the day, a hike into Pirates Cove where we climbed rocks and splashed in the waters. In the evening, we polished off that last bottle of wine and had an all girls night listening to Basia’s blood chilling story of her ascent to the summit of Mt Everest and swapped stories of the trials and tribulations of our love lives. We laughed for hours.

On our last full day in San Fran we decided to explore the city on foot starting with a coffee at Blue Bottle then heading to Union Square, shopping central. We strolled through Chinatown hitting every tourist shop on the way and then hopped on the oldest and only manually operated cable car (single ride $7 - all worth it to not climb the hill.) We finished off the evening in fine style with Tataki sushi, if you are ever in SF this is the place you have to try. With more wine, even one age old wine from 1998 and headed off to bed for our last good nights sleep for a while.

A special thanks to Basia for being the best host we could ask for.  

Laters

X

[8-nipples-blog]

Sequoia National Park

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So on Monday 8th August, we arrived and oh lord it is hot. In the depths of the valley there are a few hotels which gave us some kind of hope that maybe we weren’t crazy for staying here a night during the hottest time of the year. All are….were dashed however when we reached the reception desk and inquired into where our camping spot would be. This was met by looks of confusion and pity and with that we knew, perhaps, we had made a mistake. Still trying to hold our shit together in 43C heat we parked (in the completely empty campsite) and immediately went to the pool, with water so crowded and warm you feel like you’re walking into hot soup. We tanned, we dipped. Tan, dip, repeat. Then knowing it would be too hot to cook anything over a fire (it was probably hot enough to cook an egg on the ground)  we went to the hotel restaurant which had limited choices and possibly the most horrific waiter on earth.

After much deliberation, seeing as the temperature wouldn’t drop below 35C, we decided not to set up our tent but to instead sleep in the open under the stars. For some this was the best nights sleep (Emilija) and for some, the worst (Halszka) but without a doubt is was the best star gazing anyone could ask for. Woken early by the heat and sunshine we went for one last swim before we made our way further into the desert.

Death Valley has it’s name for a reason. We learned that at it’s lowest it is 282 ft below sea level and is classed as the hottest place in the world, FACT, google it. In fact, our car teetered on the edge of death when we stopped at Mosaic Canyon to get a closer look. We walked into the folds of the mountain range for ten minutes and felt like we would collapse but on returning to the car we found that our girl, she just would not go. After pouring our last water remains onto the engine we managed to get her running again and now for finding our way out of here.

At first, we were more than entertained to watch the passing mountains that could have come straight off of a painting, so curved they could have been from a cartoon. Two and a half hours of driving later, with our car quickly running out of gas and no other vehicles on the road we became exhausted by our surroundings and longed to back on safe terrain (a freeway). After what seemed like a lifetime we reached oasis (not the band) topped up our tank and set off on the next leg of drive to Sequoia National Park.  

This was by far the longest drive of the trip and after some narrow and winding mountain roads we reached the gates of the campsite we had set our hopes on for the night. Obviously, it was full. This time, however, we thought ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’ so we pulled up to the registration station and cross examined the Bambi eyed ranger about empty spots who (after little questioning) gave us a space. Sequoia National Park was, in our opinion, the most beautiful place we had seen so far and with the temperature dropping to a comfortable 25C we made the easy choice to stay here for two nights. For dinner we cooked a simple dish of veggie bolognese.

If you’re coming into Sequoia, you’re coming into bear country so all our food, rubbish and shampoo had to be locked away in the special steal bear boxes allocated to each campsite. Even though your car may seem safe. It is not (we saw the videos). We had our first freezing cold night in the van waking up every hour to tuck our toes and noses into our borrowed delta flight blankets. Babushka style.

Our spirits not dampened by the terrible nights sleep we had a day full of hiking through the giant Sequoias. Luckily, or unluckily, we were 30 seconds away from our own bear encounter when one crossed the path of a family walking before us. Redwood trees are so ginormous, you can’t really appreciate how big they are until you’re standing next to them… or inside of them.

After a long day trek we had a supper of our signature ‘8 Nipples dish’, corn chips and wine. We then settled down to watch a documentary on Scientology, which creeped us out to the core.

Goodnight. See you in Yosemite.

X

PS Pics from Sequoia are in the next post

[8-nipples-blog]

Hi again, our next stop was The Grand Canyon, one of the wonders of the world. The drive was one of our longest yet taking us through the famous Route 66. We stopped to top up on gas (our car drinks petrol like it’s sweet sweet liquor) our camper as per usual attracted the attention of the locals. As we’ve come to learn everyone is always so welcoming and on this occasion we started chatting to the lovely Bridgette, a chicken farmer from Arizona, who insisted on giving a dozen of her chicks fresh eggs for the small price of passing on the good karma. We arrived late afternoon in The Grand Canyon to find a campsite. Of course, one of the most famous places in America is going to be busy and us being us we didn’t book ahead so now came the challenge of finding somewhere to sleep with the night closing in on us fast. Following the advice of some Stranger Ranger who told us of some secret spots in amongst the trees of The Kaibab National Forest (a forest bordering The Grand Canyon) we ‘off roaded’ and headed into the woods. Surrounded by crows, pine trees and bugs we set up camp and cooked our dinner of eggs and avocado to the back drop of the beautiful sunset.

The next day with the fresh air waking us early we got going. As you may or may not imagine the park is not so wild, there are tourists everywhere and the ‘hiking trails’ are more like paved paths with picture perfect view points at every turn. The Canyon is so large that you have to take buses to certain points and hike smaller trails from there. We walked for two hours every few minutes having to stop just to take in how extraordinary and breathtaking this place was until… the rains came closing in and all of a sudden it went from sunny and warm to dark, wet and freezing. Stuck on the edge of the chasm and huddled together for warmth and shelter under a tree (not the smartest move in a thunderstorm) our only salvation would be to wait for the next passing bus to take us back to the village. In times like these it becomes a cut throat world and after 20 minutes, and at the sight of a lone bus coming in, parents cast their kids aside, lovers abandoned their other halves and friends pushed to get ahead of one another to get on this god damn bus. Some not so willing to be as brutal paid the price and the doors closed on their soggy faces. After living in London we know how to hustle and we were amongst the saved on the warm, dry and now very crowded bus back. Riding cheek to cheek.

Getting back to the car, for the first time, we turned on the heating and drove to Williams to get some much needed sustenance and to look around this old Route 66 town. We had a true all American dinner of burgers, fries and Coca Cola in a classic 50’s diner. Being charmed by the western architecture we tried to find a cheap Motel to spend the night. Unfortunately, even the shabbiest of places was too much for our half empty pockets so we drove an hour further to Ash Fork where by the side of the highway we managed to grab the last room on offer for a tidy $40 for the luxury of one double bed, cable TV, HBO, ESPN, Microwave, Refrigerator, WIFI and of course a shower to wash off all the dirt and sweat accumulated in the wild.

The next morning happy and clean, it was time to go to the heart of the desert. Death Valley here we come.

X

[8-nipples-blog]

We’ve been away for a while, we’ve seen some things, we’ve crossed 3 states and driven over 3000 kilometres now we’re back in civilisation to tell you a few of our tales.

We’ll start this chapter with our journey into Las Vegas. After what would have been a 4 hour drive turned into an 8 hour traffic jam we finally reached, what we later named, ‘The Highway Into Hell’. On reaching the border to Vegas the heavens opened and we were beaten around by billowing winds, thrashing rain and thunder and lightening. A very fitting entrance into this crazy town.

Passing the blinking lights and neon signs we reached our pit stop for the night, the brightest glow in Nevada, Circus Circus. After a long wait we were shown to the campsite which essentially turned out to be the parking lot for the hotel.  

Waking up early as always we went to see what vegas had to offer. Starting on our home turf, Circus Circus, we headed to watch one of the many circus acts shown day and night inside the hotel. After being thoroughly impressed by some acrobatics we moved on to try our had at some slot machines. One thing we learned is that we can NOT gamble, we suck at it. We slotted our crisp one dollar bill into the machine and out came a token for 10 cents change. We still don’t know how. Giving up on earning our millions we decided to play a far better suited game for us (and our car), the jurassic park shooting game in the kids arcade. We were hooked. We learned that we are very good at shooting dinosaurs.

We were told before our trip that ladies that gamble can also drink for free. Since we couldn’t gamble we decided to buy a bottle Class A Vodka and a bottle of Ginger Ale and snuck into the loos to spike our Vegas themed sippy cups. Nicely liquored up and well on our way to being day drunk (the best kind) we went to wander the strip. Like kids we ran around the different themed hotel casinos, visiting a new country every 5 yards watching the mindless drones of tourists gamble away their last few dimes.

To sum up Las Vegas is fun when you’re drunk, have money and when it’s just for one day.

Stay tuned for more life lessons xx 

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On the 2nd of August, brimming with excitment we got up bright and early to pick up our home for the next 3 1/2 weeks. We were pleased to see when we arrived that we got this perfectly sized little van with a sweet paint job, courtesy of Wicked Campers. (see above) 

Our first stop would be Joshua Tree, via Salvation Mountain. Having had our practice drives around LA for the past week this seemed like a piece of cake, and it was. Everything was going smoothly until we realised that the car was over heating... and we couldn’t have the AC on without it over heating...and that we were dying from the over heating... and Oh My God it’s 41 degrees outside. We knew we were in trouble when we had to drive at 30 MPH along the desert freeway, AC off and all windows down (imagine trying to cool down in front of a hot hairdryer)

Finally, we made it to Salvation Mountain, in true 8 Nipple style, sweaty as ever. We explored as much as we could in the insane heat, took our pictures and headed back on the road to Joshua Tree. At this point, strike 2, we were running out of petrol in the middle of nowhere, 2 hours from our camp for the night. 

Luckily, we found our very own salvation in Karen and Monty, two petrol station owners down in Morongo Valley. They poured water on our poor engine and gave us free drinks to cool us down too. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers, folks.  

With this helping hand both us and the car mustered enough strength to get to our camp site arriving just before sunset. We found the perfect spot, and had the dinner of kings a bottle of wine, cheese and crackers. By 9pm we were sleeping like babies in our rooftop treehouse bed. 

We awoke in the morning keen to see more of this desolate land. We picked our hiking route and with sun screen and water in hand we took off for the hills. What we thought would be a comfortable 1 hour hike turned into a 3 hour mission but with scenery like this it’s hard to complain too much or at all.

Arriving back at the camp again we packed up and searched for the nearest service station to get our motor checked over. What we found was Phil’s auto yard in Yucca Valley where both Phil and Uncle Bob checked the van over and came to the conclusion that we need a new radiator to run again. The 3 hours the repairs took gave us time to have a wander, we found a great coffee shop called Frontier so we settled there to while away the hours. Coming back, the very sweet Phil gave us some life lessons and some motivational speeches and sent us on our way to VEGAS BABY!!  

So now AC fully working and the car running like a dream we started the long drive into Nevada. 

Until next time... X

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Ahh our long awaited return, i’m sure you have been clinging to the edge of your seat…We are now, sadly, one pair of nipples down as our beloved Jess headed back to the land down under.

So to catch up, our time in New York flew by, we saw the city from the top of the Rockefeller, headed to the bright lights of Times Square, and had wine, bagels and pizza a plenty (Two Boots was definitely our favourite pizza joint with so many vegan options)

We then wished The Big Apple goodbye and caught a flight over to the City Of Angels. 

We stayed in a beautiful apartment in Echo Park (the East London of LA). The entire city is a haven for the health conscious with organic food shops, vintage stores and vegan coffee houses galore. Our local cafe, FIX, turned out to be one of the best, serving huge jalapeño breakfast bagels and iced almond milk latte’s.

You quickly realise that in LA to get anywhere you need a car, luckily we found this great new app, Skurt, who delivered a car to our door.

Now, the first stop for anybody travelling the West coast of the US is, of course, Disneyland. And so on Thursday we went like small children, chanting all the disney hits in the car ride there. The place is magical but going as four young adults (strong independent young women) you realise just how god damn small everything is! We finally felt like big kids again when the parade began and we could swear the princesses were real.  

Day 4 in LA we decided to take our pale asses to the beach to get some much needed tanning in. We drove down to the famous Venice Beach for sea, sand and local weirdo’s. stopping in at the freak show to see a five legged dog, a women electrocute herself and a man shoving a hook through his nose and out through his mouth.

We awoke the next day severely hungover not really remembering what happened the night before, just that there was alcohol, so much alcohol. Nursing our sore heads we went to meet Jess’s Great Aunt who just happens to live in Bel Air… where all the celebrities and royalty reside. for example, her neighbours were the Prince of Persia and the late Nancy Reagan. On the way, we made a short pit stop so Becca could throw up her breakfast in the front garden of someone’s multi-million dollar mansion. Super Classy.

Feeling a little better we drove down to her Malibu home, a stones throw from Will Smiths summer house. We took a stroll down the private beach and pretended, just for a little while, that we could live there too.

Before we knew it lunch time had rolled around so we headed home and on the way stopped off in a little side of the road Mexican diner for a casual meal… but hold on a second, who’s that big strong man over there? Oh, it’s Taylor Fucking Lautner (the wolf from twilight saga) all i’ll say is that Becca had a moment, he’ll deny it, but the look of love was there.

The next day we decided to put our culture hats on and headed to LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum Of Art). There is so much to see you could easily lose yourself there for a whole day. To round off our time in LA we headed to the critically acclaimed Bottega Louie, an insanely good restaurant in Downtown. Once again we found that who you know is all that counts as we sat down to a feast of truffle pizza, their famous portobello mushroom fries, macarons and a bottle of their finest Chenin Blanc. All free courtesy of Jess’s cousin Sam.

On Monday we bid a sad farewell to our Jess, as we dropped her off at the airport and set out for the next part of our trip on the road.

Goodbye for now, but not forever. 

x

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NYC

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On our only full day in Boston we walked a total of 15 kilometres in 32 degree Celsius heat. We do not recommend anyone to do the same. Starting at our place in Somerville it was an easy stroll to the Harvard campus, filled with a beautiful mix of grand red stone buildings, intellectual students and the mandatory flocks of tourists. From there, thighs nicely chaffing and upper lip sweat flowing like Niagara Falls we decided to wonder aimlessly through streets in blistering sunshine searching for the Mecca for all wondering nomads, a local watering hole (aka: the pub)

Instead we settled for what may be the slowest pressed lemonade known to man but also the tastiest. Sipping on lemonade in St. Charles Park and doing some actual planning our luck turned around (Becca was shat on by a bird. The best lucky charm) we found a lunch spot called Figs for the best wood fired pizza and learned the American standard of portion control (1 regular pizza feeds 4 hungry gals)

With pizza in our bellies and a skip in our step we jumped on the red line back to Harvard square where apparently Angels had landed bearing tickets to heaven in the form of free ice cream. Sweet Jesus we love America.

We then consumed a giant 1.5 litre bottle of wine, Doing as the Americans do, watching trash TV about morbidly obese Americans. Now onto the next adventure, NYC. X

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WE MADE IT. After smooth sailing through customs and a free ride on the silver line to our amazing Airbnb we were greeted with the tastiest apple pie in history. The first thing you notice about Boston is how freaking friendly EVERYONE is. We had people help us with directions, people help us with our bags, people help us illegally drink much needed wine and smiles all round. The locals seem to love that we are a mix of all nationalities (English, Polish, Lithuanian and Australian) in the words of our host ‘It sounds like a united nations meeting and a ton of fun!’ Now the real Boston experience begins, ya’ll have a good day now.

8-Nipples xx

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11pm, nineteenth of July 2016 four nervous/excited/hungry girls embark on the first leg of a 20 hour journey to Boston. It all began with a bus we failed to catch, as our genius brains were sitting in the wrong gate for half an hour cursing the public transport system. A situation only made better by luxury seats on the next National Express in the back of a hot bus engulfed with a mixed smell of body odour, excrement, cheap purifier and an odd touch of bolognese. For 2 and a half hours we traveled in sweaty, plastic seats in thick, meaty air to arrive at Bristol coach station. A god amongst men in the form of an Uber driver then saved us with his luxury vehicle (Halszka sat in gum) and we finally made it to the airport for a 10 hour wait until we can even board our flight.  So here we are now, tired and in pain after sleeping on cold hard tiles, Halszka covered in chewing gum and coffee, all smelling far from fresh. Only 10 hours to go and surely, things can only get better. Right? ...Right?