i want it all mine.

Bae Sohee  

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“sometimes, i wished i got the same treatment as you did for songwriting you know. i’ve never had as much confidence when it came to writing for songs, but still–an opportunity to do so might have seen me making more music much earlier. i don’t supposed you’ve watched recently the developments on the show our songs, have you?” another mild yawn encapsulates her lips, and youngjoo blinks, wondering momentarily if she had been influenced by sohee’s laziness that perforated the air of her home from the moment the younger had stepped in and collapsed upon her sofa. “well, at the very least, i doubt yours is as bad as mine. i saw the statement of tattoo and men fleetingly when i passed, and a shiver went down my own spine.” youngjoo stretched against sohee, glad for once for her tiny body as she squeezed between the edge of the sofa and sohee comfortably. 

“spectacular personality is definitely something that i would say that you have, though that might just contrast very differently in another’s eyes.” she sits up abruptly, wobbling a little as she tried her best to balance within the small space that was left for her on the sofa. “and regretting things is something that i can hardly believe happens 95% of the time.” she snorted, thinking back to the moments where sohee would dramatically fall to the ground and whine. “if you really were regretting things all the time, why do i still see you falling to the ground and whining dramatically most or half the time like the big baby you are?” she pinches sohee’s nose lightly, almost reprimanding as the corners of her lips curved upwards in a controlled smile. 

“good.” sohee says in finality as she closes off that topic. “you do it to yourself, saying things that i obviously don’t want to hear coming from you. maybe i should just tune you out whenever it doesn’t come to work.” she almost misses the next thing youngjoo said, but the beginning catches sohee’s attention. “really? you should’ve told me.” she was usually unaware when it came to things like this, as she doesn’t spend much time thinking about other people’s desires and goals. “i would’ve fought to have you work on something with me if i had known that was something you were interested in. i would’ve loved to see what we would’ve came up with because yes, i have seen our songs and i’m interested to see if our styles mix or clash."

sohee was good at hiding how much of a hard time she had. it was something she was used to doing for years as an older siblings. “to be honest with you, i didn’t think they’d let me write another song after every night didn’t do as well as a song from us should have. writing something that i was proud of and would good enough to do as well as i don’t need a man was difficult. i don’t think many people noticed but i took a major confidence hit when it was followed by hush. did you know i nearly just gave up after that? luckily up & down was better.” sohee could count on one hand the amount of times she opened up about that. her tedious process of writing her raps weren’t easier either. her style had differed from the one gold star had given to her at debut and there were a lot of complications in order to find her signature sound. “i can tell you that i’m not excited either way. officially blocking out anything about the concert out of my mind from now on.” 

“not true. i’m well received by everyone because i am one of a kind. any opinions that differ are simply invalid.” the rapper hears movement, but doesn’t care to see what youngjoo is doing. any  contact the leader decided to make with sohee was accepted. “believe it or not, it does. for example, i’m regretting sharing this couch with you because it feels cramped. and if i didn’t do those things i wouldn’t be the me everyone knows and loves.” there’s a slight shift in sohee’s tone as it morphs into the one she had around her siblings. her words are delivered softly out of concern. “but i can be mature if this is actually an issue for you. i know i can be a bit much sometimes.” 

[92bsh]

fmdxchaeyeon​:

“well taking into consideration all the things that you’ve just said, i think it’s safe to assume that you don’t actually hate me. forgive me for saying this sohee, but i’m genuinely surprised. i didn’t see that coming at all,” she clasped her hands together, feigning slight shock and surprise. “the most important thing is that you’re not in fact broke and that you can buy yourself anything that you want. it’s just a shame that you don’t know how to spend your money,” another tease and it obviously seemed to be working as she watched sohee get closer and closer to the stunning dress.  “for me and for gold star. i don’t know, but i do think that you’re pretty. i’d date you in a heartbeat, based on your looks. if we weren’t group mates of course.” 

“please, i wanted it to be fun. i don’t want to sing silhouette songs. but a song that you have writing credits on? now that’s something that i can’t miss! however you couldn’t pretend, not even if you tried. we’ve known each other for what? ten years now? and i’m not even counting the trainee days. all i can say is that you can blame gold star for this,” she grew more confident as she spoke, needing time to fully immerse herself into a conversation even with people that she knew for such a long time. “i’ll shower you with compliments. i promise. and sure, we are regular people. i don’t want to be treated in any special way. it’s just that for the first time ever, i want to be boring. i want to live normally. but you’re just saying that because you think that it makes you look cool.”

"everyone lands on the ‘hate’ list at least once. it’s usually over something silly though.” she thinks about giving an example before she quickly gets distracted with the dress chaeyeon had suggested. she ran her fingers over the material before speaking again. “i really don’t, because if it was up to me i’d probably spend all of my money on food or things that limits the amount of times i need to get out of bed. clothes are like the last thing on my mind when i think of buying something new.” sohee let out an exaggerated sigh and whipped her head around. “i have to write that down so i never forget you said that. go in my little journal and write ‘chaeyeon said i was pretty today and even would date me based on my looks if we weren’t group mates’ decorated with little hearts around it.”

“fun? i think you’re the only one getting fun out of that arrangement. all i see is myself getting annoyed, so please kindly pass this up.” while she didn’t hate the songs she wrote, listening to them was something she didn’t do. “yeah, we may have known each other for a long amount of time, but i will find a way to act like i don’t know that you exist. i just did it a few minutes ago, and i didnt have to pretend for that. and blaming gold star is just adding another thing to my long list of problems with them, but i’ll place it near the top just for you. and i’m cool no matter what i say or do. a lot of people will verify that, but the most credible source is me so trust me.”

[92bsh]

fmdxchaeyeon​:

“you hate me. it’s official. you actually hate me. that’s the real reason!” the brunette jokingly accused, knowing that at certain times in the past she must’ve been desperate for attention, even quite unlikable, but those days were long past them, showcasing a true sign of growth. “borderline broke? that’s pretty funny, forgive me for laughing. but why don’t you try mixing it up a little? like, look at that beautiful purple dress over there, next to the shoes on display? it’d be so cute with matching thigh-high leather black boots and a little black purse. maybe you could even add some accessories, like a simple silver watch, and it would still be casual but trendy. i think you’d be so pretty.”

“oh do you want me to bring my guitar and serenade under your open window too? i think i could do that, honestly,” deciding to play along, she mimicked sohee’s expression and laughed. “how i feel about you? well i loathe you of course! every time i see you i get the urge to slap you. sorry, i just have to tell it like it is and spare me the couch talk, i still can’t believe that you want to do that. however, i really don’t do much these days. i’ve kind of forgotten most of my old hobbies. i just take care of my pets, water my lovely plants and spend time with… yeah. yeah that’s about it. i used to be so interesting, but now i’m just one step away from being a regular lady of the house.”

“yeah that’s totally it. i hate you so much that i purposefully torture myself by making myself get out of bed just to hang out with you outside our schedules.” sohee jokingly agreed. she assumed that chaeyeon knew it was far from the truth, as she was painfully obvious when she didn’t like someone. “it’s fine, you can laugh. it’s not like they’re necessarily wrong, because i do the bare minimum.” she smiled as started to walk over to where the dress was located. “noted. for you, i’ll agree to the idea of wearing a dress. and thank you? is that something that warrants a thank you? i’m not sure but take it anyway. there was a compliment in there after all.”

“while you’re at it, you can sing me one of the songs we’ve released as the icing on the cake. bonus points if you pick a song i have writing credits on. do that and i promise i’ll pretend to not know you the next time i see you.” the older woman laughed as she attempted to clap while holding items in her hands. “that’s what i love to hear! only tell me bad things about me because i’ll only hear them as compliments.” sohee nods as  “i mean, we are regular people... that just also happen to be in the public eye... but you can’t possibly get more boring than me. i’m pretty sure i live like i’m the oldest in the group by a few centuries.”

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“being old only means that my judgement should be valued more. have you not heard of the old chinese saying that if you don’t listen to the elderly or well–generally older people, since i’m not that ancient yet, you’ll end up regretting most of the things happening in your life? sounds highly applicable to me and you, don’t you think? ” she snorts, almost entertained with the idea that had popped into her mind. she snuggles into sohee, finding comfort as she presses her face to the upper shoulder of sohee’s back. “you smell nice. did you have a bath or spray perfume or something? or do you just generally smell great because of your splendid personality? which is it?” she joked delicately, a wry smile tracing her lips as she hummed, resting her chin on sohee’s shoulders.

“oh please, you’re just finding things for me to bicker with you about. just because you’re old doesn’t mean you’re ugly. no matter the age, you still have a face that’s to die for.” sohee poked youngjoo, hoping that the other would not continue. compliments from sohee were hard to come by, and soon enough she’d have to just agree with whatever youngjoo said. “well if no one has ever called you evil, you have never shown your true self because that’s what you are. an evil woman who loves to collects and crush my dreams. you can take up being a witch if you want, i don’t care about the title you go by. you are on top of the enemy list either way.” she let out another grunt as the older woman wrapped her arms her.

“you might be a little right about that. we are their most senior group so you’d expect to have at least a little power in what goes on with the group. although i’m glad that i was a special case and they let me start writing earlier in our career because writing is the only thing that saved me from completely tuning out of silhouette. if they didn’t allow me to do at least that, i’m pretty sure i would’ve ended up loathing the group more than the company.” sohee chuckled as a memory came to mind. “remember when i tried to run away from the dorms? i probably would’ve attempted that again and i don’t think you would’ve been able to convince me to come back if i did.” sohee paused before she let out a whine as she hears about the concert. “sexy? and you’re complaining about it? oh great, i guess i’m going to have to detach myself while performing again. i really hope it isn’t that bad because there’s nothing i love more than getting into our stages.” 

the rapper snickered as youngjoo responded. “what’s regret? i end up regretting like, ninety-five percent of the things i do anyway so what’s the difference if i listen or not? i do whatever i want anyway.” which was true. sohee made decisions that felt right to her, which typically lacked logic if it only concerned herself. “stop trying to butter me up, it won’t make me less likely to kick you off your own couch for more space. although i will add that there might be a little hesitation before i do it.” a moment of silence takes over sohee as she relishes in the peaceful environment in youngjoo’s place. “but yes it is my spectacular personality that everyone envies to have, along with the fact that i’m a clean person.”

[92bsh]

daeilfmd​:

if not entirely, a large majority is still his fault. all the moves he instigated, hope he fueled, the bitter way he hung her dry too. excuses pool in his mouth and he’s tempted to lay them out one-by-one to present his case, declare his innocence, and remind her that it’s him — shin daeil, the mess of a boy she met at thirteen, that same mess that’s never shed his cruel skin. 

instead, he buckles down. the wool blanket he got her for her 22nd birthday lays across his lap, and he digs into the bag, fingers prying for a fry or two.

“alright, what do you want to know?”  

trust. sohee didn’t allow herself to truly trust a lot of people, but daeil was one of the few exceptions. with the amount of time they knew each other, something like this wasn’t enough to make her question her friendship with daeil, but was enough to make her question nearly every thing she knew, including things that had nothing to do with the main concern.

“daeil, please. i would rather not have that image in my head again. i’d like it a lot if my mind was just empty, you know? completely daeil and youngjoo free. the two people i honestly never expected.” she groaned as the thoughts from before he arrived came rushing back to her. “great. i need to clear my mind again. matter of fact, i need to find a way to turn my brain completely off pronto.”

she finally turns to look at the other with a raised eyebrow when she hears an apology. “why are you apologizing? it’s making me feel like I got cheated on and i’d rather not have those feelings again.” sohee eyes the bag in the other’s hand before giving in to one of her weaknesses: food. "i’m not mad that it happened, i mean, i don’t care who you sleep with because you’re your own person. i’m just more... confused? if that makes any sense. learning about that was very unexpected and i might need some time before i get over it like everything else. but i’ll still strike a deal with you. you can hand over the bag and i won’t pretend that i’m mad and threaten to kick you out.” she smiles as she places herself next to daeil, extending her arm out for the bag.

“i think not knowing any more than i already do might be better, but i’m wondering... when did it even start?”

[femaleidols]

「 Bad Girl For You 」

[92bsh]

fmdxchaeyeon​:

“well it all depends on what you want and how you’d like to present yourself to the world. what’s your usual style? image? and i mean, the one that’s not controlled by gold star?” she questioned, eyes focused on the girl that seemed to be lost in her own world instead of cute pair of leather boots. “hey! that’s rude! what the hell, sohee? of course i’m here and now i’m slightly offended.  no, scratch that, i’m greatly offended. how can you forget that i’m here?” the brunette stared in disbelief, lightly smacking the girl’s shoulder as if to reminder her of her existence and presence,  remaining powerless when it comes to hiding a sudden surge of irritation.  “i don’t know. why don’t you ask yourself or the ghost you’ve been speaking with. but you would like a child in those overalls.”

despite her words, she gave sohee a genuine smile, chuckling to herself as she began to inspect one of the many skirts on display, fascinated by the silken material that was so soft to the touch. “what? i’m sorry but i’m not really an interesting person. i thought you would’ve picked up on that after all these years.  but i’ll play along just time time. so what do you want to hear? and please be more specific.”

“for the first time in a long time, i cannot come up with an excuse. i’m trying my best to come up with a reason for why i forgot you came along, but my mind is blank. i have nothing at all. let’s just agree that i talk to myself so much that for a moment you slipped my mind.” sohee laughed at the younger’s reaction to her mistake. it was honestly something that sohee would do. “but my usual style and or image? hm... i’d say my style is pretty casual. can appear to be borderline broke most of the time according to what a fan said. i’d trust that comment over my own thoughts about my fashion sense.” she didn’t know much about fashion, which was probably why stylists never let sohee have her way. it was never something she really cared about.

“you know, the basics like how much i mean to you and how you can’t live without me. or anything i’d love to hear really.” sohee grimaced at the thought of chaeyeon actually doing that and backtracked immediately. “kidding, if you ever said any of that i might have to leave you here. you can tell me anything except how you feel about me because i don’t want to hear anything in that category. oh! i’m sure you’ve heard about my mission to acquire unnie’s couch. maybe tell me something like any hobbies or activities you’ve picked up so that i can be inspired and do something other than try to take her couch. ” 

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“well, you’ll need to start by convincing gold star about it in the first place. don’t we have a concert coming up? i can’t help think of what exactly is gonna go through their fat brains, thinking of a concept that we should do as a whole.”  she muttered, picking against the seams of the sofa absentmindedly in her slight contemplation.

“i’d say you look just the same as two years ago, right on this very day. that means, you never changed.” she notes the way sohee’s almost ready to go to sleep, having pulled that throw pillow right to her chest, almost ready to topple over horizontally onto the sofa. “and….since you’re thinking of sleeping, lets have a slumber party together.” she tackles the younger girl with her hands and feet, pulling sohee towards her to cling to the younger girl with a naughty grin spreading across her lips. “i’m sure you won’t mind sharing the sofa with me in this moment for sleeping, won’t you?”

“hey, you may be getting old but that doesn’t mean you have been losing intelligence. you’re just evil, that’s it.” the younger looked at the other with narrow eyes. “i refuse to comply with a corrupt power like you. give me back the loving youngjoo i know and love. i don’t want the ‘i’m extremely old and am incapable of doing half of the things that sohee claims i do’ youngjoo. the other joo had some leniency on my forehead if i remember correctly.” exaggerated gasp comes from sohee as her eyes widened in shock. “how dare you? that is not the same! you’re turning me into gold star’s damaged merchandise while i’m just loving your possession. that was an absurd claim from you joo. i will never validate that. never.”

her hand reaches up to brush some of the stray strands out of her face. “you know, there’s no convincing gold star. if there was a way, silhouette probably wouldn’t have been as great with the amount of meddling i would’ve done. i can only do so much before my opinion starts to not matter anymore.” she goes to lay back down before she fell asleep sitting up. “let’s not think about that concert. i’m sure that is going to be something else i complain about.” she clutches the pillow closer, trying to erase the different concepts they could be presented with from her memory.

“since we are now agreeing that you are kinda old, i wouldn’t trust your judgement. you know, old taste and whatnot. or partial bias. eh, i don’t know the words anymore and i don’t care to find them.” she raises an eyebrow at the other as she listens to the other speak. “i didn’t expect you to join my lazy train when i came today. i would reject the idea but i have a feeling you’re going to hit me again.” sohee snorts as she made room for youngjoo. “but me? sharing? with you? it’s not like i have a choice anyway. come before i change my mind.”

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“me? looking pretty much the same since ten years ago? my wrinkles and my pre-debut photos all beg to severely differ.” she shakes her head almost sadly as she considers sohee’s word with an air of heavy severity, whimsical and almost yearning. “well, not unless you count the roles that i could do with being a mother considering that i’m aged thirty.” she laughs as she watches sohee tuck herself into a lying position. “honestly, if you’re younger than me, you’re still considered in that young and lively category.”

“you displease me a great amount. can you stop violating my forehead? you’re going to make me get bangs again.” sohee whined as she tried to put more space between the two. “i’m not telling my plans. you need to be evaluated first before you heard them and crush my dreams by telling me how unrealistic it is.” she played with her fingers, needing to do something other than think. “my loyalty will fold the instant something like this couch is involved. i think that says a lot about how much i love this couch and you’re just holding it hostage. just admit you want me around.” 

the rapper gave the older a side eye at the choice of words. “joo, this is making me feel like you are conspiring against me and working on the opposing side. i thought you were just trying to convince me that you were not an enemy.” sohee grunted as she attempted to sit up, giving up shortly after she attempted. “that sounds like a lot of work. and it’s a lot of work i don’t want to do. you are not invited if that cursed scenario comes true solely because you would’ve predicted it.” 

sohee huffed, tired of talking and ready to sleep. “yeah you may not look exactly the same, but if you looked like you just came out the womb like some of the people i see online, i’d be convinced you were a robot or something. aging is natural and you don’t look as old as you are. i’m pretty sure you can still do a lot, even if it’s not playing some student in a coming of age film or something like that. i don’t know, i don’t even have an interest in that stuff.” she grabbed a throw pillow, holding it close to her. “joo. please. and what will you say in two years when i am your current age? that i’m still young and lively? consistency is key joo, and that doesn’t add up.” she swung the pillow in joo’s direction, purposefully missing before holding it close to her again. “hm. it would be nice to have a clone so i don’t have to do work and lay here all day.”

[92bsh]

charliefmd​:

“Honestly, if that was a thing you know I would be the first to use that power.” A heavy hand lands on the other’s shoulder, a grim look on her face. “Sadly, our sanity continues to suffer for the greater good.”

sohee was friendly, and most people knew that. most people also knew that sohee was unique in the way she thought about things. charlie was someone who didn’t have to endure with sohee’s antics constantly like her group members, but was still willing to talk to her after she rambled about nothing for the umpteenth time. that itself made charlie ten times more special in her eyes because the other didn’t exactly have to put up with her.

she smiled as she brought her hands together. “good news, you’re able to stay. interesting selection by the way. i like to think a person’s favorite silhouette track says a lot about the person, but don’t ask how i determine that and for the logic behind it because there is none.” she briefly paused, flustered as she processed charlie’s words. “but thank you for saying that. bee has some songs i wish i wrote as well." it was her best attempt at a compliment after being thrown off by the claim that silhouette’s entire discography was really good. 

it should’ve boosted her ego since she had a hand in a good portion of their tracks, but it had the opposite effect. 

“i don’t think gold star would be too happy if i got that power. i feel like most of silhouette’s discography would totally disappear. but you’re right, our sanity will continue to suffer and i’ll always be pressured to do better than the last title track.” sohee closed her eyes and let out a huge sigh. this was as human as she let herself be around others, sliding in her concerns every once in a while.

“enough about me and the group before i stink up the room with a foul mood. what’s been going on? haven’t been keeping tabs on you lately.”

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“almost. almost. unlike me, who’s just completely thirty and moving onto the next hag stage next year–which, no doubtedly is on the forefront of my pressing mind. i might have gotten a few more wrinkles here and there.” she waved her hand a little dramatically. “compared to you, i have to consider that fact that i’m growing older and faster than all of you. ah, how good it is to be young and lively like chaeyeon and you.” she mused. “i bet if i was both of your ages, i wouldn’t be rejected over so many different television roles that i’ve wanted to do, since my age doesn’t fit very much with the vibe of what–first loves? or something along those lines.”

“i’m not telling the enemy my plans. no way.” sohee shook her head back and forth and ended it by sticking out her tongue. “i wouldn’t advise you to do that. i’ll do anything for this couch, so that means you’re only setting chaeyeon up to meet the same unfortunate fate as you. although, it is cute that you two would be together, victims to sohee’s shenanigans.” she chuckled herself as she knows how ridiculous she sounds. “these ten years we’ve known each other? yeah that’s down the drain just for this couch.” 

she rolled her eyes in disgust at the thought. “as much as i would love to forget, no i haven’t. i may have done that with silhouette, but they surprisingly haven’t managed to get me on a stage alone doing that.” she squinted her eyes at younjoo, and whatever left her mouth would be something she’ll make happen. “if they somehow get me to do anything like that, you’re coming down with me. i don’t know how yet, but i’ll find a way. since we are a team, we suffer together, but i’ll exclude the young one since she isn’t tormenting me with the ideas of me singing.” 

the younger sat up completely and blankly stared at youngjoo. “i say you pretty much look the same as when i first met you. sure you have a few more wrinkles but knowing what you go through dealing with me? that’s reasonable.” it was rare for sohee to admit that she could be a handful, but not impossible. “you should still be able to get some good roles even if you are older. i wouldn’t know, i don’t have the time to sit down and watch anything. i use that time to sleep.” she lays back down and closed her eyes. “also, leave my name out of the young and lively category because i’m not that far behind you. that all belongs to chaeyeon.” 

[92bsh]

fmdxyoungjoo​:

“i know for a fact that the set list that gold star wants to create definitely has a set of you having to sing while on stage. i’m sure as lazy as you are, you won’t want to disappoint your fans, won’t you?” she teased, reaching over playfully to pinch sohee’s nose cheekily, in an attempt to see if such an action would make the other girl jerk up from her fetal position upon her couch immediately. “besides, you know that even if you don’t want to, i’m still here to drag you and make sure that you’re doing everything that you’re needed to do. its my only job apparently, even after ten years or so of being the leader of this team.” she deliberately focuses on the topic of gold star and singing, abandoning with her fingers crossed the thoughts of her private life that the younger girl had–as she was sure, deliberately asked. the last thing she was going to give sohee was extra little ammunition to find pleasures in the small, little things that happened in her life to peruse and laugh about, as laughable as they often were. 

“yeah, i might be just as good in a way but that doesn’t mean i need to sing. i’m a rapper for a reason. the main rapper at that. i’ll gladly help find the next favorite child because i don’t want to be it. i should’ve pretended that i never knew how to sing properly so this wouldn’t be an issue.” sohee grumbled. if she was any other member then maybe the attention would be accepted, but she was bae sohee. each time they suggested her to sing left her with a bitter taste in her mouth as they started to resemble her parents.

“if gold star ever manages to get me on a stage alone, dancing and singing at that, then i have obviously hit rock bottom. or have completely lost my mind and need someone to knock some sense into me. that shouldn’t happen but i’m not completely dismissing it because it does sound like something that might happen.” she was thinking of all of the ways she could end up in that predicament. would it be a bet that sohee lost, or just something she was forced to do? “i’m nearly thirty, it’s not like they’ll keep this fight up forever. like i’m almost ancient in terms of being an idol. soon enough i’m going to be like you and be constantly have my joints cracking whenever i move, and that’s the last thing i want.” she let out a chuckle at the thought. while there was only a difference of roughly two years, sohee still made a point to use the fact that the other was older against her.

“hell no. no thank you. it’s not welcomed by me and i’ll cause problems if that’s what they want. nobody gets me singing without dealing with me first.” sohee swatted at youngjoo’s hand, huffing at the fact that her nose was pinched. “so... basically what you are telling me is that i need to get rid of you as well to finally have peace in my life? joo, you’re really not helping yourself regarding my plans—wait, if i get rid of you, does that mean i’m free from being hit and i get to take your couch without hearing anymore comments about why i don’t need it?” sohee turned to face youngjoo with the most stern look she could maintain. “youngjoo unnie. i’m so sorry to say this, but that part of the plan cannot be changed now and most likely will not change for the foreseeable future. the pros are definitely outweighing the cons by a lot.” 

[92bsh]

solo 002. — october schedule

summary: sohee says it’s crunch time, but still gotta make time to laugh at everyone including myself.  word count:  452 words  trigger warning: n/a  a/n: another self para i’m probably gonna hate <33 yeah don’t read or mention this to me either

It's October, which means that "Cleansing Cream" would be released later that month. She'd be thriving around this time, occupying her time and making sure she actually knew the choreography and didn't completely erase it out of her memory before the release. Seeing as they didn't have to put much into it except for providing good performances on music shows, Sohee had too much time on her hands. She's considerably less energetic than usual, but still a bright presence around, cracking jokes and filling in the silence with her thoughts.

The concept photos are the last stop before everything is set for the twenty-fifth. As usual, Sohee was buzzing in the chair, eager to see what she'd be working with for the shoot. When Sohee saw the finished look, she couldn't prevent the giggles from escaping her mouth. She had always thought she looked ridiculous with a lot of makeup. Specifically, she thought bolder eyeshadow looks weren't the best choice on her face. She preferred to keep her makeup looks more on the neutral side for that reason, but she didn't hate it when it was switched up once in a while. 

It took a while for Sohee to get used to her face without sparking laughter, but it was worse when she saw how the other members' makeup had turned out. It felt as if Sohee laughed ten times harder just by looking at them, and whenever it'd die down, one glance in their direction started her up again. Sohee's inability to hold back her laughter was always a problem during shoots as the second she saw something that amused her, it usually resulted in a huge delay as it took forever for her to recompose herself. Luckily, the concept photos were just like everything else, quick and easy.  No matter how many times Sohee caused a disruption, it wasn't that much of a problem. 

At the end when they finished, Sohee wiped everything off and took one good look at her bare face. She gave herself one big smile to check off a day of schedules as completed and ready to return home for the day. Gold Star's request for them to put everything into giving the best vocal performance for the comeback didn't exactly apply to Sohee as her lines weren't vocally challenging at all, but she would keep it in mind for whenever she decided to go over her parts again. She wouldn't classify her parts as singing, so she'd most likely not put that much effort as Gold Star imagined. To her, it didn't matter seeing as they never failed to deliver whenever prompted with a task, but since they asked, she'd see what she could do.

[92bsh]

solo 001. — september schedule

summary: sohee doesn’t really like how uneventful the weeks leading up to the comeback have been/thinks about silhouette and decides that silhouette will basically never disband word count: 434 words trigger warning: n/a a/n: love writing half sleep. this probably doesn’t make sense and will absolutely hate this when i wake up but it’s whatever <3

The photoshoot is as simple as the preparations for their comeback. Both did not demand too much out of Sohee, as Silhouette would be having a repackage of their last comeback. The one song they were adding was the song that would be promoted. "Cleansing Cream" was a ballad, meaning it focused more on the group's vocal abilities. While it was another song that would be added to Sohee's list songs she had creative credits for, it wasn't one of her favorites. It had nothing to do with the song itself as the song turned out better than she thought it would, but Sohee just felt as if the finished product didn't suit her as well. But, most songs didn’t suit Sohee well until she allowed time to let it grow on her. After all, she had constantly had a problem with Silhouette’s earlier title tracks. If she could make it through Silhouette's debut, then she could manage to make it through one month of promoting a ballad.

Having a lot to do meant that she had no room to think, which is why Sohee loved the months leading up to a comeback. The tense moments and the stress that is put into creating the next release were something she looked forward to right after performing on stage for shadows. This comeback was the exact opposite of that. While a younger version of herself would have been ecstatic at the lack of choreography, it made a ton of room for thoughts to creep in and stay. The interview for Grazia allowed Sohee to voice what has been on her mind for the past month.

Silhouette was something that Sohee held close to her heart, as they have spent ten years together. They put up with her antics and essentially a big part of who she was. When she had first been placed with the others, she didn’t think they’d last that long and a ten year anniversary would’ve been something she laughed at. It may seem a little ambitious, but Sohee wants to be the longest active group ever. Sure, they all might be on the older side but they only got better with time in her opinion. Their last comeback, “Sixth Sense”, a perfect example of that as it was well-received and did well on charts and music shows. Her small wish could be possible if they continued to experiment with their sound, seeing that it benefited both the group and Sohee as a songwriter. While she didn't want to stray too far outside the box, she could also use the occasional challenge. 

[92bsh]

aesthetics 001. — nighttime.

There’s something special about the quiet hours at the end of the day when people are normally asleep. When the sun sets, Sohee is wide awake and ready to do work. Most of Sohee’s lyrics came from these hours, recalling old relationships and reflecting over past decisions. Every once in a while, she isn’t able to get anything done as her mind is too clogged up with worries and concerns. as a result, she takes a step away from music, going out and exploring the area around her until she gets exhausted. Her spontaneous trips into the night’s darkness can lasts hours at most, always finding something to stop and admire. 

[92bsh]

starter for @charliefmd

it wasn’t often that sohee had people over. mainly because she was normally asleep during regular hours, but seeing as she had made plans to hang out with charlie that day, she was more than happy to let the other into her home. charlie was someone sohee had maintained a good friendship throughout the years. their friendly competition of who could do better had resulted in sohee greatly respecting charlie as an artist and a friend. anyone who was willing to put up with her shenanigans for that long were incredible in sohee’s eyes anyway.

sohee eyes the younger female with a grin on her face. “i have a question, and your answer determines whether or not i revoke your privileges of being in my apartment forever.” she was joking, not caring what the actual answer was. everyone had different tastes and had their own reason for liking certain songs. “which title track do you think is silhouette’s best? there are literally like two or three songs that you will be banished for. if you pick those, i don’t know what to think of you.” she paused for a moment before chuckling, unable to take maintain the serious tone she tried to have. “but seriously, i’d be rich if i had a dollar for every time someone told me to make a song similar to one of those three title track. do you think it’ll ever be possible to erase a song completely out of existence? just asking for my sanity.”

[92bsh]

starter for @fmdxchaeyeon​

sohee adjusted her hat once again as she stared at the pair of overalls she had in her hand. she was hesitant to get them, as they were likely to sit in her closet for months before she wore them. “do i really want this or am i just trying to prove a point? i mean they do look nice, but i’m also about one comeback with a sexy concept away from just being completely over it. whatever, i’ll just get them.” she muttered to herself, almost forgetting about the person that came along with her until she looked back up. “oh yeah! you’re here.” she exclaimed as she held out simply held out the article of clothing in front of her. “the overalls are cute right? forbid i give off the feeling of a child who doesn’t know how to dress themselves properly.”

one of the perks of shopping with others is seeing how others would rate the outfits sohee puts together. she wasn’t big into fashion, but she did know what she liked to wear over other things. it was something she had picked up over the years after having issues with the styling for certain comebacks. sohee looked through a few more different colored overalls before stepping away. “okay, while i’m going through these pants, tell me something really interesting. like, anything to get my mind off the times the stylist refused to let me wear pants.”