99 Bottles Of Beer On The Blog @99bottlesblog - Tumblr Blog

California Lovin'

The blog is back, and with it, a visit to the lovely land down south, the Davis and Sacramento area! I’m only here for a few days, but I’ll be trying lots of different beers while I’m down here, so keep an eye on this space for some up-to-the-minute reviews of beers I track down on this trip. If you have any suggestions of where I should go or what I should try, feel free to leave a comment. Also, you can always check out the blog on Facebook and Twitter as well at the links below. Cheers!

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#beer #craft beer #sacramento #davis #california #blog #99 bottles

Beer #79: Aplenty Bahl Steinber Horn –OR– Boont Amber Ale

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 1987

Bitterness: 16 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 5.8%

Brewery: Anderson Valley Brewing Co., Boonville, CA

One of the many fine things about living on planet Earth in this day and age is that we never run out of opportunities to learn. Any time I feel like I might have reached some sort of plateau of knowledge, I turn a corner or click on a link and a million new facts are thrown every which way. School is for learning, yes, but one of the great pleasures in life is that you never have to stop learning, and you’ll often be surprised where this learning can come from. Like, for example, a beer blog.

Consider, if you will, the humble beer mat. German manufacturers Friedrich Horn first introduced these little cardboard beauties in 1880, who created them to prevent tables from getting ruined by wet mugs of beer. While coasters exist in just about every form imaginable, pressed paperboard has endured as the most common for two reasons: they are very cheap to produce, and do a damn fine job of absorbing moisture.

I’m sure your favorite watering hole has several different mats up at the bar, usually branded with different breweries’ logos or advertisements. I always like looking at the different designs, and I’m trying to build a collection for an art project (that will of course be featured in this space if it ever gets completed).

Anyway, since I’m slowly building a collection, I always like to look at the beer mat selection at a bar to see if there’s any I can add. That’s when, on a recent trip to Eugene’s own Hot Mama’s Wings, the Future Mrs. 99 Bottles and I stumbled across a mat we’d never seen (not too surprising) that also opened me up to a world of unexpected knowledge.

The mat featured the logo of Anderson Valley Brewing Company, a brewery that is well known in central California, where I grew up, but doesn’t have much of a presence up in Oregon. I assumed they were trying to extend their reach, and since I typically like their beers, I was excited. But above the logo was an incomprehensible sentence that threw me for a complete loop. It read, “Pike to the tappin’ nook, back in dubs.” This was clearly the ravings of a madman, though an asterisk indicated this apparently meant “In the bathroom, back in a minute.”

The backside contained even more apparent gibberish, saying, “Yibe, a back-dated chuck is no horner of boont region steinber.” Fortunately, the below caption explained that this seeming nonsense was actually Boontling, and meant, “Only a person behind the times doesn’t drink Anderson Valley beer.” And then, in tiny letters as if we didn’t all need to know this, an explanation: “Boontling is a language invented in Anderson Valley in the late nineteenth century. You can still hear it spoken today by a handful of locals. It is one of the only surviving folk languages in the United States.”

What?

I certainly don’t know everything, but I’d never even heard of folk languages, let alone encountered one. What had started as a routine trip to Hot Mama’s for some good food and drink turned into an opportunity to discover a subsection of American culture heretofore unbeknownst to me.

It turns out that Boontling is a language that originates in the Anderson Valley, and while it’s based primarily in English, it also contains words tracing their origins to Gaelic and Spanish. There are two main origin stories for the language: one claims that field hands made up the terms just to pass the time while working, while the other says that children in the area began making up the language in order to talk in secret around adults. Either way, the language never spread far, but the local populace embraced it whole heartedly.

Fortunately, the 1970s were a wild time in the US, so Boontling saw a spike in popularity like never before. A Boontling scholar (and that’s a pretty generous title) fantastically named Bobby “Chipmunk” Glover appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson several times during the decade. Another Boontling historian, Jack “Wee Fuzz” June, even appeared on To Tell The Truth, and was so well known that Kitty Carlisle had to excuse herself from judging because she already knew who he was. Despite this brief brush with fame, however, the language’s popularity has waned, and only a few people can still speak Boontling.

But Anderson Valley Brewing Company is proud of their local heritage, and why shouldn’t they be? I speak English because that’s what was spoken in my house when I grew up, but if I’d grown up around a regionally specific language, I’d be all over it. And when you’re looking to stand out in the world of craft beer, you could do far worse than grabbing people’s attention with a seemingly crazy language. The discovery of Boontling was enough to get me to revisit Anderson Valley’s beers, and I went with their flagship, the Boont Amber Ale.

Boont Amber Ale hit the glass with a nice, dark amber color that is always a welcome sight. I like the deeper brown hues in beer, and I always find them more enticing than the lighter, more yellow shades. The off-white head was nice and fluffy, and happily remained even as I started drinking the beer. The aroma was full of rich malts, with some mild sweetness and dark fruits rounding it out.

The flavor continued what the aroma had promised. Amber ales are far less commonplace than IPAs in today’s craft beer market, but I find that while an IPA can cover potential problems by overloading on hops, amber ales require a more finessed approach. Boont Amber Ale has a robust malt flavor, very warm and mildly sweet, with the mildest hop finish at the end. There’s nothing too complicated about this beer, but it is incredibly refreshing and very smooth to drink.

As I said up top, I love to learn, and it thrills me to no end that a simple beer mat was able to open my world to a whole subject I knew nothing about. No, I won’t be speaking Boontling fluently any time soon, but I’m glad to know that it’s out there. If you’re interested in actually trying to master this language, you can get started at Anderson Valley’s website. But as far as I’m happiest that Boongling reminded me of Boont Amber Ale’s existence. It’s a beer that reaches a flavor that has definite mass appeal without compromising on any counts. Boontling speakers should be proud.

P.S. I made it through this whole thing without mentioning that Anderson Valley Brewing Company’s mascot is a Beer, a bear with deer antlers.

I don’t know if they invented the creature, but they’ve made it their own, and for that they will always have my undying respect.

#beer #craft beer #drinking #bear #deer #Anderson Valley #Anderson Valley Brewing Company #Boontling #Boonville #amber #language #Johnny Carson #To Tell The Truth #Kitty Carlisle #beer mats #learning

Beer #78: There Is Power In A Union –OR– Pabst Blue Ribbon

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 1844

Bitterness: 6 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 4.7%

Brewery: Pabst Brewing Co., Los Angeles, CA

Today is Labor Day, as you have no doubt realized from the fact that you’re reading this from the comfort of your very own home instead of trying to hide your screen from your less-than-enthusiastic-about-beer-blogs boss. I’m sure everyone is enjoying a holiday, be it a day off from work or school, and you certainly should! But I feel it’s some sort of civic duty for me to not let this day go by without letting you know a little about the history of Labor Day, and what it actually means when we celebrate the first Monday in September.

Before we go any farther (and if the song up top wasn’t enough of a giveaway), my political leanings are very far to the left. There’s a common expression people like to spout that says you live your younger years on the liberal side of politics when you don’t fully understand the political landscape, then become conservative when you have the twin benefits of maturity and money. The people who say that are assholes. I know plenty of left-leaning folks of all ages, and I had the privilege to be raised by quite a few of them.

My grandpa (the Olympia beer fan) was a longtime newspaperman, and not only reported on unions but remains to this day a vehement supporter. My mother is a member of the Teachers’ Union, and I grew up in a household that refused to cross picket lines and appreciated people like Cesar Chavez. So call me a pinko punk, but unions and labor organizations are vital parts of the country’s fabric, and Labor Day is the perfect day to remember that.

I know that today feels like the right day to get out there and do some serious grilling, which is a perfect way to honor the day, but we should never forget why exactly we don’t have to go into the office. Believe it or not, it hasn’t really ever been easy to be a blue-collar laborer in the United States. Early in our nation’s history, as we remained primarily agrarian, there wasn’t much of a need for unions and labor organizations. People tended to work either artisinal jobs or would run their own family farms, sustaining themselves (I’m of course talking about whites and free blacks; we’ll save the slavery and race discussion for another day).

But after the Industrial Revolution, the employment makeup of our country changed dramatically. In the early 1800s saw massive migration to the coastal cities, creating a labor pool that needed to be employed. Wealthy industrialists saw that needy workforce and decided, “You know what, I’ll give these poor saps a job. I need the work done, and they need a paycheck. But I’ll pay them the absolute bare minimum I possibly can, and I’ll keep the working conditions as thrifty as possible, even if it’s unsafe, because I want the biggest profit margin possible, damn the human cost.” This is an actual quote that I in no way made up.

In order to combat inhuman working conditions and ludicrously low wages, these workers had the nerve to think it might be a good idea to stand together and attempt to bargain with their superiors as a unified front. This sort of organization was, of course, illegal, because standing up to the rich is verboten in the US. It took a number of Supreme Court cases and rulings before, in 1866, the National Labor Union (NLU) became the first union established in the US. The NLU folded quickly, but the trail they blazed led the way to the Knights of Labor, the American Federation of Labor and multiple railroad unions.

In fact, it was because of these railroad unions that we came to have Labor Day. The concept of Labor Day had existed for decades without being recognized in any official government capacity. Unions would dedicate particular days to have parades, give speeches and enjoy festivals all centered around honoring the working people of the country. The Labor Day we know, however, stemmed from the Pullman Strike, one of the most infamous labor disputes in our nation’s history.

The Pullman Company, a railroad business owned by George Pullman, employed many unskilled laborers in a company town in Illinois to provide the central hub of production for the company. When Pullman laid off workers and lowered wages without lowering rents or cost of living, the workers understandably went on strike, beginning on May 11th, 1894. Eugene V. Debs and the American Railway Union (ARU) heard word of this strike and came to the workers, allowing them to join the ARU and seek group representation against Pullman. Pullman refused to recognize the ARU, so the strike was on, with 125,000 workers across the country refusing to work with Pullman equipment.

125,000 workers is not a number to be taken lightly, so naturally this strike caught the attention of the federal government, specifically President Grover Cleveland. But rather than consider that maybe the strikers may have a point in demanding something vaguely resembling a living wage, Cleveland sided with the corporate overlords and sent in the US Army to stop the strike. Needless to say, the Army was effective in its task, killing 30 strikers (who I will again remind you were striking in order to earn a living wage) and wounding another 57 as they ended the strike.

President Cleveland, sensing a dissatisfaction with his administration on behalf of the labor unions, wasted no time, and six days after the Pullman Strike had ended, signed into law a bill that declared the first Monday in September to be a nationally recognized Labor Day. Of course, he chose the September date rather than the more widely recognized May Day, since that day had been recently marred by anti-government protests that ended in more dead strikers (strikers who were protesting for an absurd reason: reducing the work day to a minuscule eight hours).

Labor conditions in the US have gotten considerably better since the late 1800s, but let’s not kid ourselves: it’s never been easy and there’s still a long way to go. Coal strikes in the early 20th century, Cesar Chavez and the United Farm Workers fighting for human rights amongst agricultural laborers, Ronald Reagan disbanding the air traffic controllers union for striking; the list goes on and on. And don’t think that it’s all wine and roses now either, with creeps like Wisconsin governor Scott Walker doing everything short of setting fire to union workers on national TV.

Anyway, enough firebrand political rhetoric for one blog post. You know where I stand on labor and unions, and if you disagree with me, you’re wrong and should probably go read something else. For those of you still here, watch me deftly tie this all in to beer!

You see, my love of craft beer and my support of unions actually end up at odds with one another. Almost every craft beer is not union made (Mendocino Brewing Co., Pyramid Brewing Co. and Sam Adams seem to be the only ones). In fact, the biggest union-employing breweries are the traditional Big Bad Wolves of beer, like Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors.

On paper, this may seem like an irreconcilable problem, but it’s actually not all that bad. Remember, unions were created to protect workers from unfair conditions and mistreatment. The relatively young craft beer movement is so open-minded and fair to its employees that there hasn’t been a need for a union. You don’t hear about your friendly neighborhood craft breweries forcing employees to work insane hours for a mere pittance. There may come a day where craft beer needs unions, and I will fully support that movement when it happens, but for now, everything seems to be going okay.

But today is Labor Day, and I can’t sufficiently honor unions without reviewing a union-made beer. I scanned the internet for what I could find locally that is made by a proud union, and I was more than pleased to find Pabst Blue Ribbon pop up on every list.

Do I really need to tell you about the affectionately abbreviated PBR? It’s been around since 1844, and is currently produced by the International Union, United Automobile, Aerospace & Agricultural Implement Workers of America (UAW). It’s an American adjunct lager, so you know that it’ll look like the color of straw and have a bone white head with lots of carbonation. And the taste? C’mon. You don’t need me to describe it. There’s a good chance you’ve had this beer countless times before. I will say that, when it comes to lighter beers, I find myself going for a PBR more often than its competitors. I don’t know if it’s the hipster niche value it’s enjoyed over recent years, or it’s the fact that, at some point, somebody awarded the thing a blue ribbon, but I’m an unabashed PBR fan.

I know there’s better beers out there, but I think it’s perfectly fine that, at least once a year, we make a point of taking our heads out of the craft beer sand and pick up something that is union made. It might not be the best beer you drink all year, but you’ll be supporting all the good that unions do. For a fairly complete list, check out Union Plus’ guide to union-made beers. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your Labor Day, and remember our country’s laborers while knocking back a union beer. Play us out, Dolly Parton!

Beer #77: Like Decaf Coffee –OR– Kaliber

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: Can’t find online

Bitterness: Also can’t find online, but very, very low

Alcohol by Volume: 0.5%

Brewery: Guinness Ltd., Dublin, Ireland

“Some people just can’t handle their liquor.”

We’ve all heard this before, and maybe even said it ourselves. And it’s true: there are certainly people out there who can’t manage their alcohol consumption very well. There could be a number of reasons why (genetics, lack of willpower, pursuit of self-destruction, etc.), but the fact of the matter is that the alcohol in beer and other liquors can get some people in trouble.

That was, I thought, the reason why non-alcoholic (N/A) beers exist. Say you’re the kind of person who really can’t have just one beer. You see those taps, kegs, cans or bottles sitting there and you know you simply have to have one. And another. And another. Pretty soon you’re a sloppy mess, and not in the entertaining, W.C. Fields sort of way.

No one wants to be this person, and, for most of us, after this has happened a time or two, we learn how to better control ourselves and fix the problem. This is called college. Just kidding, mom and dad!

Anyway, I assumed that N/A beer was simply for people who wanted the experience of drinking without all that pesky booze getting in the way. It makes sense too: if you’re at a bar or a party with people who are all drinking beer, it can be a little awkward to be the one person not drinking. Slap an N/A beer in your hand, no one will think twice and you avoid your devolving into a wreck.

The history of N/A beer, though, extends a lot farther back than not trying to stand out at a frat party. Imagine you’re a peasant in Medieval Europe. Easy to imagine, I know. If you’re one of these lowly serfs, the available water in your area is probably unsafe to drink what with all the parasites and human fecal matter in it. The rise of low alcohol beer can be traced back to this time, since the fermentation process killed all the bacteria in the water and made for a far safer beverage to consume. Not only that, but this beer used less ingredients than the normal beers at the time, saving resources and also, like the Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy versus the Encyclopedia Galactica, it is slightly cheaper.

N/A and low alcohol beers made themselves prominent in the United States a little after the turn of the century as the temperance movement started to gain full steam. As Prohibitionists became more and more vocal, Congress passed the Volstead Act, which banned any beverage with an alcohol content over 0.5%. During Prohibition, breweries resigned themselves to making these beers in order to keep their doors open and maintain some sort of revenue flow.

“But how in the world did breweries actually make beer without alcohol in it?” you ask yourself, demanding answers from a benignly indifferent universe. Don’t worry; I’m here to help. You see, late in the brewing process, after the beer is fermented, brewers will boil their batches of beer. This causes the alcohol to evaporate, leaving the beer without its alcoholic content and prepping it for finishing and bottling. Yes, some liquid is lost, so that is a factor in determining how much product is actually created from a batch of N/A beer.

Since this wasn’t a particularly complicated step, many breweries were able to add N/A beer to their repertoire, even after the end of Prohibition. Anheuser-Busch made Bevo, Pabst made Pablo, Miller made Vivo and Schlitz made Famo. Unfortunately, these have all faded away and aren’t readily available.

Instead, when you’re a youthful beer blogger, starry-eyed and full of wonderment, you have to go looking for N/A beer in other places. One on of my many visits to Eugene’s own Bier Stein, I was filling up a variety six pack and tried to stretch out of my comfort zone. For some reason or another (I can only assume the folly of youth) I decided it was high time to try an N/A beer just to see what the deal was.

But which one to choose? I scanned the labels until I spotted the very familiar Irish harp that I’ve grown to recognize as the icon of a delicious beer. I wasn’t misled either, because Guinness, the owners of the famous harp logo, had decided to make their own version of N/A beer called Kaliber. Misspellings aside, I knew it was the perfect entry point, and I was happy to dive right in.

The most amazing thing to me about Kaliber was just how much it looked like a normal beer. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be green or on fire, but if someone had placed a glass of Kaliber in front of me without announcing what it was, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought before taking a drink. It was the same straw color as most American adjunct lagers (Bud, Coors, etc.), with a medium, bone-white head sitting on top. The aroma was almost sickeningly sweet, however, with only mild hints of grain and corn along with the sugar.

I hate to say it, but the flavor didn’t improve at all on the aroma. I was immediately struck with how thin the beer seemed. I don’t typically drink beer trying to seek out the alcohol content, but it must provide a far greater flavor element than I had previously recognized, because Kaliber seemed very empty without it. The very little flavor that was actually present wasn’t appealing at all, tasting like someone tried to make a beer and just gave up partway through (which, I suppose, they kind of did). Lighter than the lightest beer, Kaliber has a flavor that is very difficult to describe, mostly because of how close it is to plain water.

I know I ragged a bit on the people who drink N/A beer up top, but I am actually very curious to know why people drink it. If you’re one of those particular folks, feel free to shoot me an e-mail explaining why you do, and we can open up a discussion. As it stands, I can’t imagine voluntarily drinking another N/A beer for any reason other than this blog. I guess I’ll just have to stick to the regular old massively diverse world of beer. Ho-hum.

#beer #craft beer #Guinness #Kaliber #non-alcoholic #Prohibition #drinking #drunk #bland

Beer #76: Take Your Protein Pill & Put Your Helmet On –OR– Ground Control Imperial Stout

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 2015

Bitterness: 80 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 10%

Brewery: Ninkasi Brewing Company, Eugene, OR

“Looking at these stars suddenly dwarfed my own troubles and all the gravities of terrestrial life. I thought of their unfathomable distance, and the slow inevitable drift of their movements out of the unknown past into the unknown future.” – H.G. Wells, The Time Machine, 1896

For as long as humankind has existed on Earth, we have looked up at the stars and wondered exactly what was out there. Something about the depth and majesty of space taps directly into humans’ innate curiosity about the world. As much as primitive peoples were able to learn about the world around them, there was always that blanket of inky blackness that coated the planet every night, devoid of light save for the billions and billions of tiny points that punctured the dark.

Even now, as we learn more and more about our solar system, galaxy and universe, there is something truly awe-inspiring about taking a brief nocturnal moment to look up and appreciate the vastness that surrounds us. Whenever our world seems too substantial to take in, I suggest you take a gander into space and realize our place in all of this. I’m not diminishing the whole human experience, but I am saying that a little perspective every once in a while.

“Teach me your mood,

O patient stars.

Who climb each night,

The ancient sky.

Leaving on space no shade, no scars,

No trace of age, no fear to die.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Poet, 1843

But merely looking up at space isn’t enough for some people. There’s a reason we have NASA, and a slough of folks from all over the planet who’ve dedicate their lives not only to learning all we can about space but sending themselves up there to check it out in person. One of the career goals I’ve harbored, along with an abnormal number of Ohioans, was to be an astronaut. I quickly realized this wasn’t going to happen, mostly because my grasp of advanced calculus and astrophysics wasn’t ever quite up to snuff, but that’s never stopped me from being fascinated by the vastness of the cosmos.

“When you can feel that close to something you’re used to seeing from this great distance, well, it changes a person.” – Sally Ride on seeing Earth from space, 1983

Anyway, before this all gets far too poetic, let’s bring it back to beer. Believe it or not, I am not the only person around who has a love for both space and beer. I know it might be hard to imagine that the kind of people who have the time to create and enjoy craft beer would also have the time to look up at the stars and dream, but there’s definitely a crossover. And the folks over at Ninkasi decided to take their deep and abiding love of space and combine it with their beer in perhaps the most literal way possible.

“Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.” – William Burroughs, Civilian Defense, 1985

After months of planning, Ninkasi announce the Ninkasi Space Program (NSP) in 2014. “What in the world would a brewery need a space program for?” you ask, knowing deep down in your soul the answer is fast approaching. Ninkasi needed the NSP to launch some brewer’s yeast into space, of course. Last July, with the help of the Civilian Space Exploration Team and Team Hybriddine, the NSP sent a rocket carrying 16 vials of yeast into space from the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. The idea, of course, was to make a beer with this space yeast because WHY THE HECK NOT?? I’ll refrain from chronicling the full details of Mission One, mostly because Ninkasi’s account is pretty perfect, and comes with a great video detailing the launch. Long story short: the yeast could not be found for 27 days, and was thus rendered unusable. That, of course, only meant it was on to Mission Two.

“Flying through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy. Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova, and that’d end your trip real quick, wouldn’t it?” – Han Solo to Luke Skywalker, Star Wars, 1977

Mission Two, needless to say, was a success, with the launch at Spaceport America in Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico going off much more smoothly and ended with a recovery assisted by the US Army themselves. Again, check out Ninkasi’s account for the full details along with video. All that remained was transporting the yeast back to Eugene to determine its viability for brewing. You can probably guess the test results, mostly because you’re reading a blog about Ninkasi’s space beer right now.

“I open my scuttle at night and see the far-sprinkled systems,

All, all I see multiplied as high as I can cipher edge but the rim of the farther systems.

Wider and wider they spread, expanding, always expanding,

Outward and outward and forever outward.” – Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855

Since I am the kind of person who probably gets way too into these sorts of things, I followed Ninkasi’s progress with baited breath. Would yeast that had made its way to the stars yield a beer that was unlike anything we’ve ever experienced? Would it fundamentally change our understanding of the cosmos? Would we finally get a conclusive answer about the existence of extraterrestrial life? Only one way to find out, and that’s by drinking it to the last drop.

“To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.” – Stephen Hawking

First off, I have to say a bit about Ninkasi’s packaging of the beer. Rather than just sell Ground Control in a bottle, they’ve presented it in a lovely package featuring original artwork from poster artist Neal Williams. Williams’ art gives the beer a retro/futuristic vibe that puts the drinker in the perfect mentality going into this beer.

Ground Control, as an imperial stout, was unsurprisingly pitch black with a khaki brown head on top. It looked as thick as motor oil, though it makes sense to me that beer brewed with space yeast would need a little more substance to it than some run-of-the-mill pale ale. The aroma was a solid blend of cocoa, hops and toasted-roasted grains. I’m a big fan of this combination, largely because it hints at delicious things to come, so my excitement was reaching a boiling point by the time I finally had my first sip.

I will start by saying that no, of course there was nothing about Ground Control that made me suddenly see little green men or pick up radio signals in my fillings. With that out of the way, though, we can look at the beer on its own merits. The flavor was practically a dictionary definition of a stout, and I think that was the right choice. The blend of bittersweet chocolate, sweet milk sugars and deep roasted grain combine for a substantial mouthfeel that left a long, long aftertaste. The flavor was big, which I think is appropriate considering the magnitude of the beer’s origins. It’s the kind of beer that will age well, and I’d be interested to come back to it in a year or two to see how it develops (if I can track down another bottle).

“We have lingered long enough on the shores of the cosmic ocean. We are ready at last to set sail for the stars.” – Carl Sagan, Cosmos, 1980

I know that most of my readers probably aren’t going to be able to get their hands on a bottle of Ground Control. Unfortunately, sending yeast isn’t something that can be done every day, so Ground Control had a rather limited release and a somewhat higher price tag than most people would normally care to see. That said, I’m very happy I did try it, mostly because this is probably the closest I’ll ever get to going in to space.

But who knows? We’re advancing technologically at such a vast rate that it’s conceivable that we could see a beer in our lifetimes brewed with ingredients produced entirely on the International Space Station. Hopefully, with beer as with science, we continue to push ourselves further and further, testing the limits of what we know and what we believe as truth. We’ve always looked to the stars, and I hope we never stop reaching for them.

“We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or only just happened.” – Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, 1885

Stone Brewing Company’s Vertical Epic Ale Series

True Believers will remember that I am a big fan of taste testing beer. Obviously, drinking pint after pint of the stuff is incredibly fun, but there’s something to be said for setting up five three-ounce glasses of different beers and knocking them back, comparing flavors and styles and determining One True Champion. Of course, most of the time I accomplish this by picking several beers at random that I want to enjoy. Far from scientific.

But occasionally it’s worth it to throw down some guidelines and make the tastings official. I mean, everybody knows rules make everything better, right? That was the spirit I had in mind when we did the Tailgate Beer Taste Test with the Playbook Podcast, and I’m planning on doing more of these things in the future. Moving on!

One of my good friends, Puck, is a man who enjoys the finer things in life, especially when it comes to beer. I am lucky to have found somebody who shares my opinion that beer should be taken seriously (that is, when you’re not playing beer pong). We’re clearly the only two people in the world who feel this way, which is what makes us both amazing beams of light blasting through the cosmos.

Anyway, back on Earth, Puck came up to visit the Future Mrs. 99 Bottles and me a few weeks ago, and I knew deep down that we’d get into all sorts of beer related shenanigans. He’d never been to my neck of the woods, so I was excited to get a chance to show off Eugene’s finest.

Of course, Puck showed up with his own tricks up his sleeve. You see, Puck was able to show some incredible restraint and had actually been collecting beers for several years, waiting for the perfect moment to taste them all together. These beers all came from Stone Brewing Company’s rather ambitious Vertical Epic Series (more about that in a moment) and Puck had managed to get his hands on the last half of the beers in the series. He decided they needed to be saved for a special occasion, and his trip up north was deemed the appropriate time to finally break into them for a good ol’ fashioned vertical tasting. I was touched.

Right about now, I probably owe you an explanation of two different things: what a vertical tasting is, and what Stone’s Vertical Epic Series is. First off, a clarification on vertical tasting. The term comes from wine tasting, but has lately been co-opted by the craft beer community as beer becomes something to appreciate (much like fine wine). Vertical tastings are when you sample several beers (or wines, or whiskey, or anything else you can eat or drink), all from the same brewery and all in the same style, but from different years. It’s a chance to explore the sometimes-subtle variations of a style and display the evolution of a brewery. This is compared to horizontal tasting, where you taste beers all in the same style and year, but from different breweries, designed to showcase the differences between the breweries’ style.

Stone’s Vertical Epic Series, then, should make a little more sense in name. Starting on February 2nd, 2002 (02.02.02), Stone released eleven different beers, all based on a Belgian golden ale style, but each done completely differently than the last. The choices, it seems, were based entirely on whatever crazy thing Stone wanted to do each year, as each beer was released one year, one month and one day from the last (03.03.03, 04.04.04, etc.). Here’s how Stone describes it (all weird punctuation their’s):

As with any good epic, herein lies the promise of larger-than-life experiences, heroics and twists & turns as the adventure unfolds. These bottle-conditioned ales are specifically designed to be aged until sometime after December 12th, 2012. Provided you can wait that long. At that time, enjoy them in a ‘vertical’ tasting. Each one unique to its year of release. Each with its own ‘twist & turn’ in the plotline. Each one released one year, one month and one day from the previous year’s edition.

Stone is doing what is now becoming common amongst breweries: creating a mythos around their beer that may or may not be deserved, but helps create hype all throughout the craft beer community. Puck fell sucker to this, and collected all the beers from 08.08.08 to 12.12.12, primarily because everything before 08.08.08 was very hard to find after he turned 21.

That’s not fair; Puck isn’t a sucker. He’s a huge fan of Stone Brewing in the same way I worship at the altar of Ninkasi. But Puck isn’t fooled by big talk. Like me, he would rather let the beer speak for itself, seeing if all of Stone’s braggadocio was worth it. With that spirit on mind (and the unceasing desire to explore new beers) we dove headfirst into our share of the Vertical Epics.

08.08.08

From Stone’s Notes: “We proudly present you with this very dry pale golden beer which sports a thick, creamy white foam, is spicy, estery and fruity (from the yeast), and possesses a crisp bitterness–or yes, and it’s very, very generously hopped.

Our Take: Let me first off remind everyone that this beer was about seven years old when we tasted it, which makes it by far the oldest beer I’ve ever had. I’m not too familiar with how lengthy aging affects a beer, so this was my first experience. We did note the fruitiness and crispness that Stone mentions, but the hops didn’t pack nearly the punch I expected. Instead, this beer tasted sort of boozy with elements of banana and fruit with a mild spicy finish. It wasn’t bad at all, but it was far milder and less dynamic a beer than what was described on the label. If this is fairly typical for a seven year old beer, I’d have to advise against letting a beer wait this long. I think you’ll get a much better result closer to the bottling date.

09.09.09

From Stone’s Notes: “Bold and smooth chocolate malt flavors combine with a Belgian yeast lending tropical fruit/banana flavors and hints of spiciness, all complimented by citrus notes from an addition of tangerine peel. Rich vanilla beans add a nice counter to the chocolate malt–actually enhancing the chocolatiness.”

Our Take: I was wary of the combination of chocolate and orange, primarily because I don’t care for that pairing on its own, let alone in a beer. The aroma of 09.09.09 was a strong combination of chocolate and spices, reminding me of a Mexican mole sauce. The flavor, however, was not nearly as interesting as the aroma, instead primarily consisting of burnt chocolate. Vanilla and orange were nowhere to be found, so we were left with a dissatisfying bitter chocolate flavor that was not enjoyable (believe it or not). Again, I think aging may have done a disservice to this one.

10.10.10

From Stone’s Notes: “A Belgian-style golden triple is the starting point of this beer, but the first left turn is nearly immediate with the addition of dry chamomile flowers, triticale and Belgian amber candi sugar. The second and rather unusual left turn takes us half an hour up the road from Stone to Temecula courtesy of the addition of just-pressed Muscat, Gewurztaminer and Sauvignon Blanc grapes from our friends at South Coast Winery.”

Our Take: A beer brewed with wine grapes? I will hand it to Stone: every one of these beers at least starts with a strongly original idea. The aroma was a distinctly Belgian combo of banana, bubblegum and spices, but lacked the hints of wine I was expecting. The flavor, however, started with mild hints of dry white wine that grew and grew as the beer was able to breathe. Puck assured me that this was a distinctly Sauvignon Blanc flavor, which was helpful because I know next to nothing about wine (sorry Dad). Regardless, both Puck and I used the word “inexplicable” several times on this one. I’m not sure how good it was, but it was incredibly interesting and certainly worth trying at least once. Oh, and I didn’t detect any triticale, in case you were wondering.

11.11.11

From Stone’s Notes: “We somehow came to the conclusion that adding Anaheim chilies from New Mexico’s Hatch Valley, plus whole cinnamon sticks, to an amber-hued brew fermented with Belgian Flanders Golden Ale yeast [...] would create a very tasty result. [...] The Anaheim chili is known for its rich flavor more than endorphin-inducing heat, and the cinnamon adds a nice twist.”

Our Take: I’ve had nothing but negative experiences in the past with beers that have employed peppers, including one particularly disastrous run-in with Stone’s own Smoked Chipotle Porter. I am happy to report, then, that I have finally found a beer that uses peppers perfectly. In this instance, the chilies showed up along with yeast and bready malt in the nose, teasing what was to come. The flavor tasted just like a brown ale with a little extra yeast, and some very pleasing chili notes. By using Anaheim chilies, Stone sidestepped a common problem, and emphasized flavor over heat. As such, we got a beer that had a delightfully unique flavor that didn’t burn the tongue.

12.12.12

From Stone’s Notes: “Brewed with cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, clove, orange peel and rose hips [...] it’s a complex beer with many layers. The spices all come on strong along with a nice bready malt character. That said, Stone 12.12.12 Vertical Epic Ale is rather dry on the finish.”

Our Take: As this beer was the most recently bottled, I was expecting the fewest difference between Stone’s description and our experience with 12.12.12, and I wasn’t wrong. What we got was a very malt-forward beer with a veritable spice racks’ worth of flavors thrown in, though dominated by cinnamon. After it had a while to breathe, the whole thing took on a flavor not unlike gingerbread or coffee cake. Of all the beers we tried, this one seemed the most immediately marketable to the general public, especially if they use my idea for Spice Rack as a name and brew it in conjunction with Bob’s Burgers.

So what did we learn here?

I will say that while I didn’t love every beer that Stone put in the Vertical Epic Series, I appreciate the grandiosity of the idea. We need to live in a world where big ideas like this can thrive. And while I found the first three beers more confusing and surprising than enjoyable, 11.11.11 and 12.12.12 were unqualified successes in my book. I don’t know how easy it will be to track any of these beers down, but I’d start with the last two, which I’m sure will be the easiest to find. If you are able to secure any, do your own vertical tasting and write in to let me know how it goes. As for me, I know I’ll be employing Puck’s services for more tasting events in the future, so keep an eye out for that. And don’t worry! I’ll be back with a regularly scheduled beer review next week. Cheers!

#beer #craft beer #drinking #taste test #friendship #Stone #Belgium #Bob's Burgers #fancy

American Craft Beer Week 2015 Is Upon Us!

Happy American Craft Beer Week everybody! Yes, even though we all live every week like it’s craft beer week (or Shark Week, for that matter), this is the one week out of the year where there’s a true push to celebrate that fine, homegrown beverage. People who are likely to read my blog here won’t need too much encouragement, but consider this the time of year we should all be pushing ourselves to appreciate the finer beers in life.

“So,” you ask yourself as you get out your most patriotic garb and pour a glass of something from your home town, “what can I do to properly celebrate American Craft Beer Week 2015?” I suggest CraftBeer.com as the perfect jumping off point, as they will be collecting all sorts of info and articles throughout the week, showcasing the finest our nation has to offer. Additionally, get on Untappd and check in with an American craft beer to earn their Craft Beer Week 2015 badge (and follow the blog there while your at it). Other than that, I really just recommend drinking something good and local every chance you get. If you know anybody out there who somehow has managed to not fall in love with craft beer, introduce them to your favorite brew. In short, just enjoy the quality American stuff as much as you already do. Sing from the rooftops, “My country ‘tis of thee, sweet land of li-beer-ty!”

I hope your American Craft Beer Week is everything you want it to be. Cheers!

#beer #craft beer #drinking #America #patriot #patriotism #untappd

Beer #75: “Smokey, This Is Not ‘Nam. This Is Bowling. There Are Rules.” –OR– Dead Guy Ale

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 1994

Bitterness: 40 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 6.5%

Brewery: Rogue Ales, Newport, OR

If you’re like me, you spent much of your teenage years wondering what was cool, or what made you seem cool. I know we’re not supposed to think that way and to be comfortable in our own skin, but when hormones are raging like a marauding horde through your body, it can be a little difficult to keep things in perspective. I know I for one went through all sorts of different phases, most of them far too embarrassing to mention here, and each of them was supposedly to impress other people.

But looking back on my younger days, what stands out far more is the constants that made it through the ever-changing landscape of high school. These are the things that define us as people, making us who we truly are despite what we think society wants us to be.

Some of these things are obvious for me, like being a fan of reading, watching movies, and drinking beer (actually, that one came after high school). But it’s the less obvious ones that are even more interesting.

Think about what you did in high school that you still enjoy today. Ignore the obvious (writing essays, hanging out by your locker, going to pep rallies, etc.) and focus on the obscure. I’m sure you’re having some harsh realizations about yourself right now, and I don’t want to get in the way of that, but I am writing a blog here, so finish reading this and then go off on your serious self-exploration.

Anyway, what I learned about myself was this: I love bowling. It feels like a weirdly obvious thing to say, because who in the world doesn’t love bowling? But I know those people are out there who don’t enjoy hurling a 14 lbs. ball towards 10 unsuspecting pins. That’s okay, they’re allowed to be wrong, I won’t judge them too hard.

It’s a common lament amongst teenagers in Davis, CA (where I grew up) that the town is boring. I always liked Davis, I will also have to admit that it lacks the same opportunities available for someone growing up in, say, San Francisco or New York City. Since finding activities wasn’t the easiest thing to do, people really latched on to whatever was good, and bowling definitely filled that niche.

I can’t count the hours I spent at the bowling alley, drinking far too much Mr. Pibb and playing game after game until my hand and arm were sore. It was always a social thing to do, since you’d show up with your group of friends and there’d inevitably be another group of people you knew from school, also spending their Friday night knocking down as many pins as possible.

As much as we (and by we I mean I) identified with bowling, we were far from the first to discover this. The first evidence of bowling was discovered by archaeologists in the grave of an Egyptian boy dating back to 3200 BCE. Bowling made it to the US thanks to German immigrants and their love of the game, though they played with nine pins. Ten-pin bowling, the game we know and love today, became popular in German bowling clubs around the Civil War era, quickly spreading to the rest of the population. The sport appealed to the working classes, so much so that they organized the American Bowling Congress in 1895 in order to provide a codified set of rules for the game.

With official rules in place, bowling became a beloved activity in the US, even allowing for the creation of a pro bowling league. It seems silly now, but bowling was so popular here that pro bowler Don Carter was the first athlete of all time to sign a $1 million endorsement deal when he partnered with Ebonite International in 1964.

Let me pause for a moment here and address how we categorize bowling. I’ve called it a sport several times in here, mostly because that’s the easiest way to define it, but I’m under no illusions that it is nearly as physically challenging as basketball or soccer. That said, have you seen the trick shots these guys can do? Pro bowling takes a level of skill that i certainly don’t possess. Sport? Maybe, maybe not, but I’ll still give them props.

Eventually, I should probably tie all of this in to beer, right? I’ll get there, don’t worry. Hand in hand with bowling, one of my favorite movies in high school (that lingers to this day) is the Coen brothers’ masterpiece, The Big Lebowski. If you haven’t seen it, there isn’t a good way to explain the movie, but trust me when I say that you absolutely must.

Huge portions of that movie take place in a bowling alley, though with not that much actual bowling. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I wanted to be just like the Dude, Walter and Donnie, mostly because there lives all seemed a little sad, but it was no doubt influential to me to see the characters of one of my favorite movies bowling and drinking beer.

Flash forward to about two weeks ago. The Future Mrs. 99 Bottles’ birthday was approaching and she decided that we should all go bowling in celebration. For some reason, even though I had bowled several times since turning 21, I had never enjoyed a beer while bowling. At long last, two of my favorite things would come together in a perfect storm, and as I perused the alley’s beer selection, I made my choice: Dead Guy Ale.

I’ve had Dead Guy several times before, but never in a bowling setting, so I was interested to see how it fared in the environment. In my plastic cup (not glass, this was a bowling alley after all), Dead Guy was a deep, dark orange, cloudy and opaque. It’s the kind of beer that seems to glow while it sits there, and might serve as a decent nightlight. The aroma was mildly sweet, with hints of a bready malt and faint spices, but overall nothing too intense.

Dead Guy’s taste, however, is where it really shines. Initially, the beer comes off as rather sweet, something I wouldn’t expect from a bottle with a skeleton on it. The flavor fills out with notes of bread, brown sugar, caramel and spice, and transitions nicely to a long, hoppy finish. The body is full without being overbearing, and the carbonation is just present enough to make itself known. It’s incredibly drinkable, something that comes in handy when you’re trying to enjoy a beer in between frames.

I’m not entirely sure what drew me to Dead Guy in the first place, but after the experience I had, I know it’s going to be my go-to whenever it’s available at the bowling alley. It doesn’t hurt that as I drank more of the beer, my scores improved, further reinforcing my belief that beer has mystical powers we don’t fully understand. Bowling and beer have been hand in hand for years, so much so that our old friend Don Carter did a Miller Lite ad back in the ‘70s. Maybe that’s why the Dude and Walter drank all those Miller High Lifes. Regardless, the 15-year-old me would be very happy to see 25-year-old me still enjoying bowling. I’m just glad I’m still finding ways to make it even better.

#beer #craft beer #drinking #bowling #The Big Lebowski #pins #history #Coen Brothers #Rogue #Dead Guy #birthdays #Don Carter #commercials

Beer #74: “I Used To Be An Adventurer Like You Until I Took An Arrow To The Knee” –OR– Winterkoninkske

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 2002

Bitterness: Can’t find online

Alcohol by Volume: 8.3%

Brewery: Brouwerij Kerkom, Kerkom-Sint Tuiden, Belgium

Man, I was on a roll there, wasn’t I? Picking up some great momentum by talking about aggravating Super Bowl commercials and Foghat songs (topics that recent studies have shown are most appealing to the all-important 18 to 34 demographics). Of course right when I got things really rolling I got sidelined by a particularly nasty cold that lingered well past its welcome. And, on top of all that, I had to go and get myself engaged to be married. Yes, just a few things have changed around here. But the blog can only be ignored for so long, so I said my fond farewells to the future Mrs. 99 Bottles and trekked to my solitary cabin on the shores of Walden pond in order to bring this thing back to life. I’m glad they finally go wi-fi out here, by the way, otherwise you might be reading this via carrier pigeon.

Anyway, enough about not beer: let’s talk about video games!

Yes, like most other Americans of my generation, I own a video game console. However, unlike most other Americans of my generation, I am not enamored with the typical video game fare. First person shooters like Call Of Duty or Halo don’t have much of an appeal to me. Instead, I generally play the video games Lego has put out, because they are aimed at children and I refuse to admit that I am aging.

But as much as I enjoy saving the Marvel universe as a Lego version of Thor, there are some exceptions to my brick-based rule. I played Bioshock a while back, and I was thoroughly entertained by the intricate story, jump scares and ability to shoot fireballs out of your hands. You also won’t be surprised that I enjoyed both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City, but that’s mostly because running around as Batman and beating the ever-loving snot out of some thugs is incredibly cathartic after a long day.

But the non-Lego game that has captured my attention far more than any other is the much revered The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, or Skyrim for short (or Skrim for even shorter, because as many 1000+ word blog posts have indicated, I’m a fan of brevity).

I predict that my readership is mostly going to be split two ways on Skyrim: either you’ve both heard of and played this game because you’re a big ol’ nerd, or you’ve never heard of it and are already confused that I’m somehow talking about video games without mentioning Pac-Man. Yes, I’m stereotyping, but that’s mostly because I want to alienate my readers as much as possible. A new era!

Anyway, Skyrim takes place in the province of Skyrim, part of the fictional land of Tamriel. This game is the fifth in a series, and I’ve never played any of the four earlier games, so I can only assume this carries on the tradition set by its predecessors. You’re dropped into this world as a prisoner about to be executed for no reason that’s ever explained other than the bad guys don’t seem to like you. After you pick your name, species (human, elf, cat-man, lizard-man, etc. You know, the ususal), gender and attributes, you’re led to the chopping block. Seems like a lot of setup for someone who’s about to stop existing, but wouldn’t you know it, a giant dragon shows up, destroys the town and you escape in the ensuing chaos.

Yes, the dragons have returned, and you are the legendary Dragonborn, a person who has the power to blow fire or ice or whatever out of your mouth just like the dragons that are now disturbing the peace all over Skyrim. Just trying to stop the dragons would be enough for a whole video game, by Skyrim’s mission seems to be instead to replace every single other video game you would ever want to play.

There are hundreds and hundreds of characters you can have full conversations with and close to five hundred different quests you can complete (ranging from picking 10 plants to traveling back in time to learn a spell that will stop the main evil dragon from destroying the world). All the while you can learn a multitude of spells and acquire a treasure trove of weapons and armor, each one making your game different and more customized. The story is the highest of high fantasy, and is certainly not for everyone, but I’ve never encountered a game more fully immersive or complex as this.

Don’t worry, Mom and Dad, I don’t spend every waking minute on this thing. It’s just fascinating to me that a single piece of entertainment can provide so many hours of enjoyment. The ratio of hours spent on this game versus the very minimal amount of money I paid for it makes it by far the most efficient use of money that I’ve ever spent. It’s something I never expected, but it’s incredibly enjoyable.

But how does all of this tie in to beer? Tangentially, of course. You see, at the very beginning of Skyrim, when you’ve been taken prisoner, one of the other prisoners, Ralof, won’t stop talking, and in his rambling he mentions that he’s been in this town before. While he reminisces, he says, “I wonder if Vilod is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in.” I can’t find a clip of this audio online, but since Skyrim is a stand-in for Norway/Sweden/Denmark, the guy’s accent is a little over the top, and the way he says “juniper berries” takes the cake, so much so that I can’t see the word “juniper” without thinking about it or saying it out loud in my terrible impression of his voice. I know this is ridiculous, but this is the way my brain works, and hey, you’re the one reading what pours out of it. Who is the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?

Suffice it to say, when the future Mrs. 99 Bottles was picking out the beers for my Valentine’s Day Beer-quet, she knew that Winterkoninkske, a beer brewed with juniper berries, had to be included. I’d never even heard of the beer, so I was more than happy to put down the controller and give it a try.

In the glass, Winterkoninkske was a dark, thick brown with a khaki colored head that rested heavily on top. I know this is beer, and thus a liquid, but it seemed far more viscous and thick than most other beers. The aroma was mildly sweet, with an undercurrent of spices, brown sugar and caramel. I realized before I drank it that my only familiarity with juniper was through gin, far from my favorite liquor, so I was unsure about the upcoming taste, but I’ve been surprised so many times before that I’m basically up for anything at this point.

What I tasted was a thick, sweet beer that was about as far away from the taste of gin as one could probably get. The flavor was a balance between the sweetness of the aroma and some added spices and malt to round it out. Obviously hops were involved at some point in the brewing process, but their presence was not found in the flavor whatsoever. Winterkoninkske has a thick palate, making it a very appropriate beer for the cold winter months, and the higher alcohol content forces you to enjoy it slowly, definitely a good decision. The aftertaste lingered long after each sip, making this beer a full flavor experience.

I’m worried that I may have come off as a bit of a video game nut in the previous paragraphs, but Skyrim really is something that I enjoy. And my enjoyment of Skyrim led directly to the discovery of Winterkoninkske, so it’s definitely having positive effects in my life. I’m sure sales of the game will once again skyrocket after you all finish reading this and rush out and buy it to see exactly what I’m talking about. And if you don’t want to invest the time or dollars into Skyrim, I hope you at least seek out Winterkoninkske, the perfect beer to help you through that next cold snap.

#beer #craft beer #Belgium #winter #drinking #video games #Lego #Halo #Call of Duty #Bioshock #Batman #Arkham Asylum #Arkham City #Skyrim #The Elder Scrolls #dragonborn #juniper berries #delicious #Xbox #Xbox 360

Beer #73: Take It Easy –OR– Slow Ride Session IPA

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 2014

Bitterness: 40 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 4.5%

Brewery: New Belgium Brewing, Fort Collins, CO

I'm going to make a sweeping generalization about my readership: you're all a bunch of beer lovers. I'm sure there are some teetotalers out there, but the overwhelming number of people who read this blog are no doubt fans of the glory that comes from hops, yeast, grain and water.

And since you are the fan you are, you've also come across the great conundrum with beer: the alcohol content. I'm not saying that the alcohol is a bad thing; alcohol is a great side effect that makes beer all the more exciting. But you know what it's like when you've had a beer too many. Suddenly your charming personality becomes a sloppy mess, and your clever witticisms turn into an incoherent mess. It's not a pleasant look on anyone, and it's something we should all strive to avoid.

But that's the problem, isn't it? Beer is simply far too delicious to just enjoy one at a time. Yes, one beer in the evening can be perfectly pleasant, but what about all those times when you're in the mood for more than one? Or what if you and your friends decide to have a lunch outside at your favorite bar and grill on a sunny Saturday? You're going to want more than one beer, but there's no need to push yourself past your limits. How do you combat this situation? How? HOW?

The obvious answer is, of course, don't do it, but that's no fun. Plus, this is a blog about beer, and it wouldn't be a very good one if I wasn't encouraging folks to enjoy the stuff. We'll just have to accept the fact that you are going to drink beer. This is a fine fact, but I want to help my readership do so without compromising their reputation as fine, upstanding members of their communities. Fortunately, as you may have guessed, I have a solution: session beers.

You might have heard the term "session beer" tossed around casually before, but it's something that gets mentioned casually, as if we all know what that means. Allow me to enlighten you. The best way to describe session beers is probably the simplest: session beers are beers that have a low alcohol content with a balanced flavor between hops and malt, leading to a high level of drinkability. In short, these are beers you can drink a lot without going over the edge.

Session beers actually have their roots in history, specifically in jolly old England. During World War I, factory workers producing shells for the war effort were, like any other member of the workforce, eager to drink beer in their off hours. Since there was a war on, and safe production of these somewhat sensitive (not to mention explosive) materials was pretty vital, the British government decided to impose laws restricting when workers could drink. From 11 am to 3 pm and 7 pm to 11 pm, workers were free to go out to the pub, with the other hours of the day intended for working or sleeping (or spending time with family, I suppose).

I'm no fan of a big government war machine, nor am I a fan of politicians meddling in my beer drinkin' time, but these workers had no choice, and instead enjoyed these four hour "sessions" (get it??) as best they could. Unfortunately, since these were tired workers trying to drink their sorrows away, the beer flowed freely, resulting in a workforce that was either too drunk to work or were in trouble of getting arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. Again, like the modern consumer, these workers certainly weren't going to stop drinking, so they sought out beers with a lower alcohol content.

The result was a whole world of beers clocking in at only about 3 or 4% alcohol that kept the workers more than satisfied. In fact, a worker could have about 7 or 8 of these beers in a session and still be fit for factory work (it'd be about the same as you having one beer an hour nowadays). Oddly enough, laws regarding these sessions stayed on the books in England until 1988, presumably because the Queen wanted to enjoy her pint of bitter at 5:30 in the evening.

Session beers never really caught on in other parts of the world, largely because the drinking session was such a specifically English thing. But the American craft beer industry loves to find forgotten beer styles and bring them back to life. As such, we've seen a rise in American session beers in recent years, with breweries creating alternatives to their sometimes difficult-to-drink beers. It makes a lot of sense too: not everybody likes the skyrocketing bitterness that has been associated with IPA culture, and so session beers have become increasingly popular. I've been a fan for a while, so I was delighted to find one in my Valentine's Day Beer-quet (a variety six pack of beer made to look like a bouquet of flowers. My girlfriend knows me almost TOO well). This offering, Slow Ride from New Belgium Brewing, looked right up my alley, and I was excited to try it.

In the glass, Slow Ride was one of those unassuming beers you hear all about these days. It's a little more yellow than a typical ale or IPA, but nothing too surprising. IN fact, with its fluffy, bone-white head, you'd be forgiven for thinking it might be some craft lager or pilsner. The aroma is far more complex, though, with a nice blend of citrus fruit and mild hops. In February, this was a very welcome reminder of warmer months, and I dove into the tasting with great enthusiasm.

Fortunately, my enthusiasm wasn't misplaced. Slow Ride might as well be the industry standard for a session IPA, because this is one of the most drinkable beers I think I've ever had. It manages to strike a perfect balance between hoppiness and lightness, making a full flavor that doesn't ever come close to being overwhelming. A mild biscuit malt jives nicely with the citrus and tropical fruits, and there's just enough of a hop kick to remind you what kind of beer this is. I got to the end of the glass and only wished that I had more, which is a rare achievement in brewing.

If you had told me I'd enjoy a beer named after a Foghat song, I probably would have said, "Why did someone make a beer called 'I Just Want To Make Love To You'?" Jokes aside, though, Foghat is definitely not the first resource I'd turn to, but I'll be damned if the beer isn't absolutely delicious. I'm particularly excited to track this down in the summer months, possibly making it my Summer '15 go-to beer. The fact that I could potentially drink several and get back to work without any problems is just icing on the cake.

#beer #drinking #craft beer #Foghat #session #England #alcohol

Beer #72: Shots Fired –OR– Total Domination IPA, Revisited

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 2006

Bitterness: 65 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 6.7%

Brewery: Ninkasi Brewing Co., Eugene, OR

I know my readership is a bunch of True Americans, so I have no doubt that every single one of you faithfully watched the Super Bowl last weekend. Super Bowl XLIX (or Super Bowl Ex Licks as I have taken to calling it)was a surprisingly intense game right up to and including the ending, whenfailed-Oregon-beater Russell Wilson threw an interception that he will never,ever live down.

Anyway, it will surprise no one that Super Bowl Sunday is,every year, the day we Americans consume the most beer. I mean, it’s the 2ndbiggest day for food consumption (behind Thanksgiving), when we eat a whopping 120 million pounds of avocados and 1.23 billion chicken wings. But the beer is the most staggering (at least to me): Americans apparently drink 325.5 million gallons of beer on Super Bowl Sunday. You heard me. That’s as much liquid as pours over Niagara Falls in about 7 minutes.

It makes sense, then, that at least a few of the commercials featured in the Super Bowl every year are ads for beer. I talked about this last year, with the battlin’ between Budweiser Black Crown and Beck’s Sapphire. There are approximately 75 billion different beer commercials that have existed over the years, and I’m not going to compile them all here. I am, however, going to draw your attention to one particular ad from this year.

You may have heard of a little company called Anheuser-Busch InBev, and their flagship beer Budweiser. It’s been brewed since 1876, and it’s one of the most popular beers in the country, so of course they’re going to advertise during the Super Bowl. And you no doubt heard about or saw their ad. You know, the one with the puppy and the horsies!

Cute right? So cute, in fact, that it might make you forget about the OTHER ad that Budweiser aired during the Ex Licks. I’m talking about this one.

Wow.

It’s not often that a commercial bothers me, but it’s almost as if Budweiser read the entirety of this very blog and said, “How exactly can we piss this guy off?” Let’s go through this thing line by line, shall we?

“Budweiser: proudly a macro beer.” Not off to a great start, especially because they’re implying they’re also proud to not be micro. That said, it could just be a fluke. Maybe this ship will right itself!

“It’s not brewed to be fussed over.” Hmm. A little concerning now. Amidst shots of typical Budweiser-related flotsam, they show a “stereotypical” craft beer drinker enjoying what looks like a stout. Apparently, to Budweiser, this is the enemy.

“It’s brewed for a crisp, smooth finish.” That’s what we love about beer, right? Not the flavor, but the clean finish!

“This is the only beer beechwood aged.” Probably not true. Even if that is the case, not sure what that’s going to do for the beer, especially since beech is not a dominant flavor in Bud.

“There’s only one Budweiser.” Except for this one. And this one.

“It’s brewed for drinking…” Unlike all those beers you’re not supposed to drink.

“…not dissecting.” Jeez. How DARE people care about the flavor in their beer, and try to appreciate the subtleties found within. I mean, without dissecting, how are we going to taste all the beech??

“The people who drink our beer are people who like to drink beer brewed the hard way.” Nope. The people who drink your beer want something cheap and easy, but want to pay more than they should for cheap beer in a world where Rolling Rock still exists.

“Let them sip their pumpkin peach ale.” Fuck you. Sorry to use bad language, but this is a bridge too far. They’re using the types of straw man arguments beloved by Glenn Beck and his ilk to mock people. It doesn’t matter that pumpkin peach ale doesn’t exist. All you need to know is that craft beer drinkers are the kind of lefty gay-lovin’ tree-huggin’ morons who would totally drink that swill the second they could.

“We’ll be brewing us some golden suds.” Suds. Like soap, right? That’s definitely what I want to think about when I think about beer.

“This is the famous Budweiser beer. This Bud’s for you.” Not anymore it’s not.

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore. It’s hard to know what bothers me most about this ad. The glossiness and faux-Americana is typical of all Budweiser’s ad campaigns, so that’s to be expected. The generically bad rock song is pretty dumb too. But I think the worst part is that it’s the top selling brewery in the country deciding to take a swipe at the little guys out there. Rather than hype their own brand, Budweiser decided that all these independent businesses trying to carve out a niche in the world needed to be knocked down a peg. “How dare you try to chase the American Dream,” Budweiser says. “Don’t you know that only the rich are allowed to succeed?”

I know I’m all over the place here, and that’s because I’m a ball of pure rage. Fortunately, the fine folks over at Ninkasi Brewing Co. were able to take their anger and focus it into a laser precision. Take a look at their response commercial:

Now THAT is a statement I can get behind. In 1 minute and 37 seconds, Ninkasi manages to blast Budweiser with both barrels. This is the kind of thing I could watch every single day to get me pumped up in the morning. I mean, how many brewery CEOs do you know that would let someone chuck a can of “golden suds” at them like Nikos Ridge?

So with that all in mind, and in the spirit of raising a BIG ol’ middle finger to Budweiser, this week’s beer is a classic: Ninkasi’s Total Domination.

Sharp-eyed readers will remember this as the first beer I ever reviewed on the blog (were we ever so young?). I’m not going to retread what I wrote back then, but I will say again, as I have many times, that this might be my favorite IPA. It’s not just because it’s brewed only a few blocks from my apartment. I find Total Domination to be completely drinkable, pleasantly hoppy while not obliterating the taste buds. The pleasant citrus aromas mingle with a nice bit of yeast, and the flavor is a delightful medium body that makes for fantastic drinking.

Let me finish with this: drink Ninkasi, especially Total Domination, and don’t drink Budweiser. Budweiser has come up many times before on this blog, but consider this the last time. They clearly have no love for anyone who doesn’t think their “golden suds” are the greatest of all time, so I shall return the favor. The boycott has begun. I encourage you all to take up the campaign along with me. Craft beer or die!

#beer #craft beer #drinking #Super Bowl XLIX #Super Bowl #Ads #commercials #advertising #rage #puppies #horses #Budweiser #Ninkasi #Total Domination #IPA

Beer #71: Beer To Go –OR– Fusion 24

First Brewed: 2014

Bitterness: 35 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 5.7%

Brewery: Lagunitas Brewing Co., Petaluma, CA

How many of you have heard of a growler?

I know the folly of asking a question like this because you’re not all going to send me an e-mail saying “yes” or “no,” but I’ll ask it anyway just to put the thought in your head.

You hear the term growler and a bunch of concepts probably pop into your head, and I’m willing to bet that most of them are bear-related. I will admit that the first time I heard the term growler, it was completely out of context, so I also assumed some sort of ursine connection. I was of course wrong, as I am about so many things, but allow my moment of folly to be a teaching moment for all of us.

As you may have guessed, since you know what this blog is about and aren’t a total moron, growlers have to do with beer. Specifically, a growler is a 64 oz. glass or ceramic jug used to transport draft beer. The idea is pretty simple: you’re drinking at a bar, but the stuffy loser of a bartender is saying you have to go home because “he’s soooo tired” and “it’s 3 am” and “the bar closed an hour ago.” You, being the party animal you are, decide that this night ain’t over until you say it is, so you whip out your growler, pay for a fill and take the good times home with you. It makes a whole lot of sense.

In fact, the concept of growlers apparently dates back to England in the late 1800s, where folks began taking beer home from the pub at closing time in small jugs. The rumbling sound the CO2 made while escaping from the lid when opened was said to sound like a rumbling growl, leading to the name growler. As with lots of cool things, this might be completely made up, but I like the story and I’m sticking with it.

As beer became far more popular when sold in cans and bottles, the need for growlers fell somewhat by the wayside. People didn’t find themselves bringing home the same beer they could get at the store for the same price.

Cut to 1989, and the Otto Brothers’ Brewing Company in Wilson, Wyoming. Thanks to the recent rise of craft beer, Otto Brothers’ was enjoying great success in their community. But patrons were clamoring to take the brothers’ beer home with them to enjoy on their own time. That gave Charlie Otto the brilliant idea to buy a small silkscreen machine, put his brewery’s logo on a collection of glass jugs and sell them to his customers so they could take his beer to go.

The move was completely brilliant, since people who bought the growlers were not only able to take the beer to go, but also carried the businesses logo around with them. It was Otto’s innovation that gave rise to the modern growler.

Nowadays, you can buy a growler from just about any reputable beer establishment and fill it with their good stuff to go. Most of them don’t even care where your growler is from, which means as long as you clean your growler properly and don’t smash it on the ground in a fit of rage, you won’t need to keep buying new ones.

In fact, new businesses have sprung up all over the place that operate as taphouses catering to the growler-inclined. Typically these places have a huge wall of taps, offering beer to drink on the premises, but also filling growlers for those on the go. The advantage is that consumers can now find beers that are too small scale to show up in any stores and take them home to enjoy outside of the bar setting, perhaps with friends and family (or just on their own).

Growlers are great, and when my girlfriend and I made the big move that put this blog on its recent extended vacation, we moved into a place about a block away from one of these places catering to growler culture, the Growler Guys. I will forever give them a shout-out, not just because they’re local, but their staff is really friendly and knows their stuff. The free tastes don’t hurt either.

Anyway, on my most recent trip to Growler Guys, I went through my whole usual method of selecting a beer to try. I’m glad they give out tastes, since 64 oz is an awful lot of beer to buy on a whim or a somewhat appealing name. I tried a few out, and settled on a nifty little offering from Lagunitas called Fusion 24. I don’t know much about this beer or its back-story, but I do know that one little taste was enough to convince me to buy a growler’s worth. I brought it home and tried it out ASAP.

Fusion 24, an amber ale, poured into the glass a nice copper brown color with a fluffy, bone white head nestled on top. I love beers that look like this, mostly because whenever I draw a picture of beer with markers or crayons (which I do ALL the time), I always make it look like this. Copper brown is a far more iconic color that the straw yellow of pilsners or the jet black of stouts (though those are perfectly great in their own time and place). The aroma had a strong malt presence with mild notes of fruit and brown sugar. In short, my kind of beer, and I was eager to drink.

I was very pleased with my first deep taste of Fusion 24 that I hadn’t wasted my growler fill. As an amber ale, Fusion 24 had a solid, bready malt body that is always my favorite flavor in a beer. This malty goodness was complimented by a mild amount of other grains and a hoppy undercurrent that crescendoed in the aftertaste. Mild notes of grapefruit and pine were mildly present, but I do mean mild, because this is a big malty beer. It was extremely drinkable, and the kind of beer I would feel comfortable giving to anyone to try.

I’m certainly not the first to get on this train, but I do recommend all you craft beer lovers pick up a growler. I’m certain that there are probably several places you can pick one up in your immediate vicinity, and the world of beer it opens up is pretty invaluable to those who want to explore everything craft beer has to offer. And if you fill up your first one with Fusion 24, you certainly won’t be disappointed.

#beer #craft beer #drinking #growler #Lagunitas

Beer & Satire: A Match Made In Heaven

If you are well-versed in the Internet (or heck, even somewhat familiar with print media), you've probably heard of The Onion. Founded in 1988 by two juniors at the University of Wisconsin, The Onion has grown from a weekly satirical newspaper that was half full of coupons to a multimedia empire. It's absolutely hilarious, and I highly recommend everyone check it out on a daily basis for some insane, satirical hilarity.

In June of 2014, The Onion, presumably unsatisfied with not controlling every single aspect of media, created the website Clickhole. You know those websites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy that feature "articles" with titles like "35 RoboCop GIFs To Help Get You Through A Breakup" or "This Student Gave Her Teacher An Apple. What Happens Next Will Inspire You"? That sort of stuff is called click bait, and it's designed to give you tantalizing headlines that make you feel compelled to click on them. They're also easy to read, which makes them easy to share on social media, leading to more page views, which in turn leads to more advertising dollars.

"But why did you mention Clickhole before slamming these websites?" you ask your computer screen, "and when does beer enter the equation?" Good point!

You see, Clickhole was introduced by The Onion in order to parody those sorts of click bait sites by creating content that mirrored their all-too-familiar style but turned it on its head. This means nonsensical quizzes, made-up celebrity gossip and human interest stories that could not, and will not, ever exist.

On a few occasions, Clickhole has taken on beer (and, by extension, craft beer culture), and I've found these to be too funny not to share. Yes, I know this is a list, but I'm not trying to pull a fast one on anybody; I genuinely find this stuff entertaining.

- Quiz: Are You A Beer Snob?

Clickhole's quizzes are always amazing, usually because all the possible answers are completely bonkers. Done in the now-classic style of internet personality quizzes, this particular one gives a multitude of cases for you to claim how much you love your beer in order to see if you're a snob. I don't think anybody has done any of these things (other than the first option), but it's still great, right down to the repeated reference to Jeffery Tambor as a married actor.

- 11 Microbrews You Have To Try This Summer

Okay, so the title of this one gives away when it came out, but it doesn't matter. In 11 beer names, Clickhole manages to skewer the entire craft beer world for the lengths it will go to in order to create original titles. They seem a little out there, but I also wouldn't be that surprised to see Oops! All Berries Summer Shandy or Barrel-Aged Extra Dark Neverending Night Porter on shelves in the not to distant future. In keeping with the out there pop culture references, this list manages to mention PBS kids nature show Zoboomafoo and Decemberists lead singer Colin Meloy within about 10 words of each other.

- Stories Of Recovery: When This Man Started Brewing His Own Beer, His Friends Helped Him Stop

I especially like articles like this, where Clickhole takes a hobby that people can sometimes take too far, and treat it as some sort of disease or disorder that must be dealt with. If you know anyone who has brewed beer (and if you've read this blog from the beginning, you know one of them), you'll definitely be a little weirded out by how accurate they were.

I'm sure there will be more Clickhole and Onion stories about beer in the future, and I'll definitely keep sharing them, mostly because good satire is hard to come by these days, and they're the best. If you find anything particularly good in your Internet travels, send it my way ([email protected]) and I'll share it. Cheers!

#beer #craft beer #satire #drinking #The Onion #Clickhole #internet #quizzes #Buzzfeed #Upworthy

Beer #70: "My Prices Are So Low, You'll Think I've Suffered Brain Damage!" –OR– Big Flats 1901

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 2010

Bitterness: 12 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 4.5%

Brewery: World Brews, Novato, CA

***

How in the world could I possibly choose which beer to write about for my first review in ages? If you’re a sane person (and you’re reading this blog, so you definitely are), this probably isn’t much of a concern for you. If you’re a sane person, and you were writing this blog, you would most likely pick the most recent beer you had and go with that.

But you don’t write this blog, I do. And you are definitely still reading this because I don’t make the kinds of decisions a normal person would.

Long story long, I had a very difficult time deciding what I should come back with. It felt kind of like starting the blog all over again, and when I actually did start way way back in 2013, I chose Ninkasi’s Total Domination. That beer is hugely significant to me, not just because it represents where I live, but because it’s one of my favorites. Heck, I’m wearing a Ninkasi sweatshirt as I write this.

So that would probably be a logical choice, right? Some other beer that has a deep-seeded meaning in my life would undoubtedly be a fitting return. But let’s consider all the options here.

I could also try my hand at some different kind of beer that I’ve never had before. It’d be interesting to return with a challenge. Or, even still, I could go after some ultra-famous beer that is decidedly overrated and do something of an exposé. So many choices.

For some reason, I get the feeling you might be getting tired of me explaining what I could have written about, so let’s get to the point.

You see I currently work across the street from a Walgreen’s (you know, the store located at the corner of happy and healthy!). I find myself in that Walgreen’s a fair amount, picking up some toiletries or grabbing a snack on my morning break. As such, I’ve walked every aisle of that place several times, which has given me more insight and awareness of the inner workings of this particular chain than probably some of the employees.

For instance, did you know that, starting on January 1st, you can buy Christmas decorations there for 90% off? Sure it’s picked over, but I can guarantee you’ve never seen a better price for tinsel. Or did you know that Walgreen’s has a cryptic rewards system that gives you points of varying amounts for each of your purchases? I’ve accumulated many of these points, but I’ve yet to see them actually serve any purpose.

Again, I’m digressing. You came to hear about beer.

What struck me the most about Walgreen’s, however, was their fairly substantial beer selection. It’s certainly not going to make any grocery store shake in its boots, but their selection of craft beer ran the gamut of Pacific Northwest standbys, with a few nationwide craft favorites to compliment them. It’s a fun selection to peruse, and it was while looking at these beers that I found today’s selection.

But I didn’t go the craft route. Instead, I went for what Walgreen’s does best, which is provide a store-brand alternative to just about every product in the store. And yes, that extends to beer. And yes, that beer is a classic American adjunct lager. And yes, it costs $3.29 a six-pack.

That wasn’t a typo, ladies and gents. Big Flats 1901, the beer sold exclusively at Walgreen’s, comes at a price that’s just over 50 cents a can. From the first moment I laid eyes on the cans of this stuff, I’ve been mesmerized, like a cat following a laser pointer. I’ve written enough of these things that you no doubt know how little it takes for me to become fascinated by a beer. It’s like World Brews, who made this on behalf of Walgreen’s, knew I’d be coming in, and knew they would be able to sell at least one six pack.

Big Flats claims the name comes from the flat boats that traveled the waterways of upstate New York because, according to their website, “just as the water played a vital role in the settlers’ quality of life, the pristine water used in the brewing of Big Flats 1901 Premium Lager is vital to the crisp, fresh taste of this traditional American brew.”

Overly important language? Check. Exclusively found in one specific store? Check. Literally the lowest price I’ve ever seen for a six-pack of beer? Check. All that remained was for me to buy it and try this puppy out.

Believe it or not, Big Flats was a light golden color with a bone white head on top that dissipated quickly. Based solely on its appearance in the glass, you wouldn’t be able to distinguish Big Flats from Coors or Budweiser. Its aroma was also fairly typical, mildly malty and sweet, but not much to speak of. So far, no surprises, but it was time to taste.

Let me start by saying that Big Flats is never going to win any serious beer competition. It’s a cheap American beer, and it doesn’t pretend to be anything else. That said you could do far, far worse that Big Flats. There was barely any hop presence, instead a stronger emphasis on a corn-based malt flavor. It’s a little sweet, but not nearly as tinny as your Keystone Lights or Pabst Blue Ribbons. There was barely any aftertaste, which made this a very drinkable beer, primarily because you forgot the taste from one sip to the next. In short, a pretty good cheap beer.

I think it’s important Big Flats exists, if only because it means you can get 18 beers for only slightly more than a six pack of Sierra Nevada. And if you were throwing a big party in the middle of summer, some ice cold Big Flats would do you and your guests well. I’m always happy when my whims pay off, and surprisingly to probably me most of all, Big Flats exceeded my expectations. Consider this a conditional recommendation, but that’s far better than I would have expected. Not bad for a beer you can buy at the same time you get your razor blades and Us Weekly.

P.S. To fully understand the title, watch this.

#beer #craft beer #Walgreen's #Big Flats #lager #drinking #cheap #Simpsons #Mr. Plow

Happy New Year!

Well that return sure was consistent!

I apologize to everybody for getting false hope up back in October when it looked like I was actually going to get back on this blog train. I had every intention of sticking to a consistent schedule and maintaining the blog much as I had before. Life, however, said no, and I continued to be just as busy as I had been during my previous hiatus.

My work schedule adjusted so that I only work one job now, but with much longer hours than before. Instead of working a job that let me write during the down time (which is the only reason this thing ever got off the ground in the first place), I’m now restricted to my free time to write. Writing is fun for me, but it takes some energy and my brain is always a little fried after work and hey did you see that all 11 seasons of Cheers are on Netflix? Somebody’s got to watch it!

I came to a point, though, where I realized that I either had to get back into this thing with all I’ve got or give up completely. Giving up would clearly be the easy thing to do, but I have invested far too much of both my time and yours to let it all go to waste. Too much has been put in by too many people for me to just shut it all down on a whim.

So here’s my commitment to you, True Believers. A sort of, oh, I don’t know, New Year’s Resolution? Starting this coming Tuesday, I will post twice a week. Tuesdays will be new beer reviews, and Thursdays will be something related to beer that will also be interesting. Yes, that means some of your past favorites like the 99 Bottles Playlist will return, and no, I’m not bringing back the 99 Bottles Film Club (at least, not until more beer movies are discovered). Anyway, this is a manageable schedule for me, and I hope it will be enough to satisfy your desire to consume online content.

I’ve gone on long enough. If you are a reader of this blog (and anybody who’s made it here can officially call themselves a reader, even if it was only of a few sentences), you’re already tired of all this talk. “Look, chump,” you say aggressively to your screen, “I come to this site to hear what you have to say about beer, not for some half-assed excuses for why you haven’t been writing stuff in a while and what you plan on doing in the future.” You’re exactly right.

As you may remember from seven sentences ago, the full-fledged 99 Bottles Experience will return starting next week, but I figured the first of the year was as good a time as any to announce that return and do a quick look back on the past year. 2014 wasn’t the best year, but it wasn’t terrible either, which is the most wishy-washy statement I’ve ever made and I should probably take it out and come up with something better to say but now I’m talking about it and how do I make this sentence stop I’m scared I can’t stop writing I forgot how to do this what’s happening to me where am I??????????

That was weird.

Anyway, since everybody and their grandmother is doing a Year-In-Review, it made sense that I would do one too. Don’t worry, even though I wasn’t writing about beer, I was still drinking plenty of it. But you’ve seen enough review pieces for 2014 to last you a lifetime, so I’ll keep this simple.

Here is, in a big ol’ block of text, every single beer I had in 2014. Those that I wrote about on the blog will link to the review. Also, I may end up writing about some of these in the future, so keep an eye out. Also, for those of you concerned with my health and well-being, many of these beers were consumed as part of tasting flights or shared with friends and family. I’m not a monster. Also, this is as close to a complete list as I’m ever going to get, since there are always some that I didn’t record on Untappd or get a photo of. So, with all that said and without further ado, I present the first annual 99 Bottles Year In Beer.

Ruthless Rye by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Beck’s Sapphire by Anheuser-Busch – Samuel Adams’ Winter Lager by Boston Beer Co. – Ranger IPA by New Belgium Brewing Co. – Miller Lite by Miller Brewing Co. – Belgian White by Blue Moon Brewing Co. – Pass Stout by Good Life Brewing Co. – Proxima IPA by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Hairy Eyeball Ale by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Sheaf Stout by Carlton & United Breweries – Lucky 13 (Mondo Large Red Ale) by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Keystone Light by Coors Brewing Co. – 20th Anniversary IPA by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Project X NW Pale Ale by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Pravda Pils by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Arrogant Bastard Ale by Stone Brewing Co. – Newcastle Brown Ale by John Smith’s – Line Dry Pale Ale by Oakshire Brewing Co. – Eight-Ball Stout by Lost Coast Brewery – Guinness Black Lager by Guinness – Harp Lager by Guinness – Guinness Draught by Guinness – Smithwick’s Red Ale by Guinness – NWA by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Torpedo Extra IPA by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Outburst Imperial IPA by Pyramid Brewing Co. – Snake Bite Porter by Silver Moon Brewing Co. – Pliny The Elder by Russian River Brewing Co. – Pinup Porter by Southern Oregon Brewing – Pale Ale by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Rough Cut IPA by Flat Tail Brewing – Doryman’s Dark Ale by Pelican Brewing Co. – Dawn Of The Red by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Alchemy Ale by Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. – Tailgater by Flat Tail Brewing – Mirror Pond Pale Ale by Deschutes Brewery – Eugene Esteem by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Quantum Pale Ale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Imperiale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Oatis Oatmeal Stout by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Tricerahops Double IPA by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – California Lager by Anchor Brewing Co. – The Abyss by Deschutes Brewery – Bombay Bomber APA by Steelhead Brewing Co. – Valkyrie by Viking Braggot Brewing Co. – Red Lantern IPA by Pelican Brewing Co. – Daywalker Irish Red by Falling Sky Brewing Co. – Sex Panther by Three Creeks Brewing Co. – Suge Knite Imperial Stout by Boneyard Beer Co. – S’more Stout by Base Camp Brewing Co. – Foster’s Premium Ale by Foster’s Brewing – Red Chair NWPA by Deschutes Brewery – Trilogy 1 by Bridgeport Brewing Co. – Black Heart by Southern Oregon Brewing – Czech Your Head by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – 86’d IPA by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Narwhal Imperial Stout by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Saison by Brasserie St-Feuillien – Terminator Stout by McMenamins Brewing – Miller Fortune by Miller Brewing Co. – Free Range Red by Laurelwood Brewing Co. – Beer Week IPA by Track 7 Brewing Co. – Bee Line Blonde by Track 7 Brewing Co. – White Stout by Track 7 Brewing Co. – 2nd Anniversary Ale by Track 7 Brewing Co. – Scrimshaw Pilsner by North Coast Brewing Co. – Anchor Steam Beer by Anchor Brewing Co. – Negra Modelo by Grupo Modelo by SA de CV – The Impaler XPA by High Sierra Brewing Co. – Anchor IPA by Anchor Brewing Co. – Chocolate Hazelnut Porter by Heretic Brewing Co. – Dragon’s Eye Porter by Black Dragon Brewery – CA Dry-Hop Lager by Sudwerk Brewing Co. – Nugget IPA by Old Hangtown Beerworks – Bigwig Brown by Jackrabbit Brewing Co. – Smashed Pumpkin by Shipyard Brewing Co. – Black Hand by Speakeasy Ales & Lagers – Capitol Session IPA by Rubicon Brewing Co. – MOESaic Pale Ale by Black Diamond Brewing Co. – Golden Pale Ale by River City Brewing Co. – India Pale Ale by Cool Beerwerks – Upheaval IPA by Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. – Red Tail Ale by Mendocino Brewing Co. – Red Trolley Ale by Karl Strauss Brewing Co. – Hop Czar by Bridge Port Brewing Co. – Buffalo Craft Lager by New Helvetia Brewing Co. – Sugar Pine Cocoa Vanilla Porter by Tioga-Sequoia Brewing Co. – Union Jack IPA by Firestone-Walker Brewing Co. – 3 Best Friends by Sudwerk Brewing Co. – Friendly Fire by Device Brewing Co. – Little One by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Project: Failed Red Ale by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Deep Six by American River Brewing Co. – Old Knucklehead No. 14 by Bridge Port Brewing Co. – Coors Light by Coors Brewing Co. – Maximus by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Hefeweizen by Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. – Imperial Stout by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – 541 by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Overcast Espresso Stout by Oakshire Brewing Co. – Gigantic IPA by Gigantic Brewing Co. – Old Guardian Barley Wine by Stone Brewing Co. – Believer Double Red Ale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Bad Santa by Pelican Brewing Co. – St. Bernard Brown by McKenzie Brewing Co. – Pistol River Pale Ale by Arch Rock Brewing Co. – Hamm’s by Miller Brewing Co. – Toffee Porter by Rusty Truck Brewing – Bad Bunny by Alameda Brewing Co. – Jabberwocky Ale by Walkabout Brewing Co. – Kermit The Hop by Bison Brewing Co. – Honeycrisp Apple Wheat by Shock Top Brewing Co. – 90 Minute IPA by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery – Critical Hit by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Savant IPA by Elysian Brewing – Budweiser by Anheuser-Busch – Pilsner Urquell by Plzensky Prazdroj – Black Watch Cream Porter by Portland Brewing – Chimay Rouge by Bières De Chimay – Cinder Cone Red by Deschutes Brewery – 1811 Lager by Fort George Brewery – Audible Ale by Redhook Brewery – Armory XPA by Deschutes Brewery – Olympia Beer by Pabst Brewing Co. – Thunderhead IPA by Pyramid Brewing Co. – Spring Reign by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Hop Stoopid by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Vanilla Infused Porter by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Citrus Mistress by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Descender IPA by Good Life Brewing Co. – Salted Caramel Milk Stout by Breakside Brewery – KCCO Black Lager by Resignation Brewery – Anchor Porter by Anchor Brewing Co. – RPM IPA by Boneyard Beer Co. – Cappuccino Stout by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Modelo Especial by Grupo Modelo by SA De CV – Night Time Ale by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Extra Pale Ale by Summit Brewing Co. – Furious by Surly Brewing Co. – Milk Stout by Left Hand Nitro Brewing Co. – Bark Bite IPA by Big Wood Brewery – Frost Line Rye by Summit Brewing Co. – Thielson Porter by McMenamins Brewing – Foggy Scotsman Porter by Plank Town Brewing Co. – San Diego Sunshine by Silver Moon Brewing – Gallifrey's Golden Ale by McMenamins Brewing – Ruination IPA by Stone Brewing Co. – Total Domination IPA by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Hop Bomber IPA by Grand Canyon Brewing Co. – IRA by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Maiden The Shade by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – OG Wheat IPA by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Gypsy Tears by Viking Braggot Brewing Co. – Palate Wrecker by Green Flash Brewing Co. – Hobbit’s Habit by Plank Town Brewing Co. – Orchard Point Apricot Ale by Claim 52 Brewing – University Amber by Claim 52 Brewing – Paulina Lake Pilsner by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Hoppy Bitch IPA by Northwest Brewing Co. – Proletariat Red by Lompoc Brewing – Double IPA by Sunriver Brewing Co. – Big Ass Rye Strong Ale by Rogue Ales – Forklift IIPA by Barley Brown’s Beer – Monk’s Blood by 21st Amendment Brewery – Voodoo Dog by Silver Moon Brewing – Lux by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Sasquatch Legacy Dark Wheat ISA by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Castaway IPA by Kona Brewing Co. – Black Bear XX by Alameda Brewing Co. – C-Note by Lompoc Brewing – Wünderbier by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Snow Wit White IPA by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Blindfold by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – ReNEWale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Alphadelic IPA by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Irish Stout by McMenamins Brewing – Amber by Cascinazza – Nooner Session IPA by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – 1Up by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Vanilla Oatis Stout by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Pabst Blue Ribbion by Pabst Brewing Co. – Dayglow IPA by Elysian Brewing – Flying Pony Pale Ale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Swill by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Piston Pale Ale by Laurelwood Brewing Co. – O’Dark:30 Cascadian Dark Ale by Oakshire Brewing Co. – Bitter American by 21st Amendment Brewery – Sweet As Pacific Ale by Good Life Brewing Co. – Shift by New Belgium Brewing Co. – S1NISTOR Black Ale by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Trilogy 2 by Bridge Port Brewing Co. – Miller High Life by Miller Brewing Co. – Nuptiale Cream Ale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Conservation Ale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Samuel Adams’ Boston Lager by Boston Beer Co. – IPA by Portland Brewing – Samuel Adams’ Summer Ale by Boston Beer Co. – Claymore Scotch Ale by Great Divide Brewing Co. – Backroad Vanilla Porter by Klamath Basin Brewing – Snake Chocolate Porter by Boulder Beer Co. – One In The Chamber by Payette Brewing Co. – Point Blank Red by Barley Brown’s Beer – Dragonstooth Stout by Elysian Brewing – Imperial Red Ale by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Boss Beer by Browar Witnica – Electic Ray by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Alt Route by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – CANfusion by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – River Ale by Deschutes Brewery – Summerfest by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Bass Pale Ale by Bass Brewers – The Illinois by Goose Island Beer Co. – Torpedo Pilsner by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Rojo Classico by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Myron’s Walk by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – There & Back by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Electric Ray by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – 7 Hop IPA by Rogue Ales – Miller Genuine Draft by Miller Brewing Co. – Beer No. 1 by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Yonder Bock by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Maillard’s Odyssey by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Helles Bock by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Chico King by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Old Engine Oil by Harviestoun Brewery – Flipside Red IPA by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Hopasaurus Rex Double IPA by Steelhead Brewing Co. – Traditional Lager by Yuengling Brewery – Peanut Butter Cup Coffee Porter by Willoughby Brewing Co. – Commodore Perry IPA by Great Lakes Brewing Co. – 60 Minute IPA by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery – Victory Lager by Victory Brewing Co. – Yvan The Great by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Hopulent IPA by Epic Brewing Co. – Brain Bucket Imperial IPA by Wild Ride Brewing – Pilot Rock Porter by Caldera Brewing Co. – Double Bastard Ale by Stone Brewing Co. – Tater Ridge by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Organic Raspberry Ale by Samuel Smith Old Brewery – Night Owl Pumpkin Ale by Elysian Brewing – Black Butte Porter by Deschutes Brewery – Wild Turkey Bourbon Barrel Stout by Anderson Valley Brewing Co. – Beyond The Pale by Fish Brewing Co. – Icelandic White Ale by Einstöck Olgerd – Kingpin Double Red Ale by Bridge Port Brewing Co. – Jarrylo by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Transcendentale by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – ERA by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Fresh Squeezed IPA by Deschutes Brewery – Alpha Centauri Binary IPA by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Corona Extra by Grupo Modelo SA De CV – Oktoberfest Märzen by Paulaner Gruppe – Electric Monkey Imperial Porter by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Barely Legal Barleywine by Hale’s Ales Brewery – Bitter Pale by Plough Monday – Venn by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Noble Scot by Portland Brewing – Slippery Slope by Cascade Lakes Brewing Co. – Five Pine Porter by Three Creeks Brewing Co. – Apocalypse IPA by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Total Crystalation by Ninkasi Brewing Co. – Redside IRA by Good Life Brewing Co. – Dead Ringer by Ballast Point Brewing Co. – Northern Hemisphere Harvest Wet Hop Ale by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Notorious IPA3 by Boneyard Beer Co. – Hop Nob IPA by Silver Moon Brewing – 8-Bit IPA by McMenamins Brewing – Edgefield Extra Barleywine by McMenamins Brewing – A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale by Lagunitas Brewing Co. – Dead Guy Ale by Rogue Ales – Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout by Rogue Ales – Collaborator Steel Bridge Porter by Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. – Fenrir by Viking Braggot Brewing Co. – Mash Transit Ale by Falling Sky Brewing Co. – Doctor Optic Standard Bitter by Falling Sky Brewing Co. – Jubelale by Deschutes Brewery – Drop Top Amber by Widmer Brothers Brewing Co. – Trader José Dark Lager by Trader Joe’s – Bifröst Winter Ale by Elysian Brewing – Lee Rye Brown by Falling Sky Brewing Co. – Mountain Rescue Dry Hopped Pale Ale by Good Life Brewing Co. – Pray For Snow by 10 Barrel Brewing Co. – Heat Miser by McKenzie Brewing Co. – Break Action Porter by McKenzie Brewing Co. – Fa La La La La by Double Mountain Brewery – Black Butte XXIII by Deschutes Brewery – Chillbo Baggins by Oakshire Brewing Co. – A Streetcar Named Stout by Plank Town Brewing Co – Festeroo by Hop Valley Brewing Co. – Celebration Ale by Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Fireside Chat by 21st Amendment Brewing Co. – Session Fest by Full Sail Brewing Co. – Merry Christmas & Happy New Year (Our Special Ale) by Anchor Brewing Co. – Vinter Varmer by Laurelwood Brewing Co. – Beard Beer by Rogue Ales – Sleigh’r by Ninkasi Brewing Co.

If you read all of that, then I sincerely applaud you, you crazy person. I know this list makes it seem like I’m swimming in a giant pool of beer constantly, but you know from reading this blog that I love variety in beer, and I prefer to not drink the same thing twice. Looking back through this list, I saw my whole year defined in an oddly specific way, but I also found that I remembered every time I had these. Some were in celebration, some were in remembrance, and some were just to unwind at the end of a long day. But regardless of how it went down, beer helped shape my 2014, and I’m very glad it did. I hope your Year In Beer was just as exciting as mind, and I look forward to sharing 2015 with all you fantastic folks out there. Cheers!

P.S. Best beer name of 2014? Oakshire's Chillbo Baggins, without a shadow of a doubt.

#beer #craft beer #drinking #New Year's #2014 #2015 #resolutions #apologies

Happy New Year!

Well that return sure was consistent!

My work…

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#2014 #2015 #beer #craft beer #New Year&039;s #too many beers

Beer #69: The Triumphant Return –OR– Yuengling Lager

Vital Statistics

First Brewed: 1829

Bitterness: 13 IBUs

Alcohol by Volume: 4.4%

Brewery: Yuengling Brewery, Pottsville, PA

***

Hello.

I acknowledge that it’s been almost two months since I last put anything up on this blog. I apologize for leaving everybody without any advance notice, but, without realizing it in advance, my life went into overdrive in the last 2 months. In that time, I visited…

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#Baltimore #baseball #beer #Cheers #Cleveland #Community #Cosby Show #craft beer #Frasier #history #Indians #life changes #Midwest #Ohio #Orioles #Pennsylvania #Troy and Abed #Yuengling

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