big brother duties are never over
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

#extradirty
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
noise dept.
Mike Driver
I'd rather be in outer space šø
ojovivo
Cosimo Galluzzi
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation

Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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almost home

Product Placement
todays bird
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@9pandaheter0
big brother duties are never over
Diadem with lotus leaves, Java, 9th-10th century
from The Yale University Art Gallery
A meteor falling into Mount Merapi, the most active volcano in Indonesia, and the resulting shot looks like there's a green beam of light shooting up from the crater. photo: Gunarto Song
just Yataz things.
The cutest giant cat of Plave
nyau. me back.
Walter Linsley MeeganĀ (English, 1859ā1944)
Surge of the Sea, c.1900 by Andreas Martin Andersen (Norwegian-born American, 1869ā1902)
weird but wow?? dream
so, this afternoon i had a nap, 2 hours nap and went to a weird dream.
its a weird dream bcs its weird, also i felt like had the same dream before but not fully. Iād try my best to decribe it in english but if i cant iāll just mix it in indonesian. just following the flow wkwkkw
so its all started with my mom, my sister and me goes to a...villa kind of thing. its not really a villa, its like a small cottage like house beside a big lake. Like a resort, but its not?? idk iām not really sure since our āneighborā is living there. Oh yes also the server or operator there wearing uniform like, a shirt and a cloth wrapped as their bottoms and a cloth headpiece. like those mens you see in Bali. kinda like that.Ā
anyway the house is kinda like this?
but not so gap-y between each houses, somehow its like more tight to each other walls. also the house isnt facing the lake, but on the back side of the house. so its like when you open your back door, you seeing the big and beautiful lake.Ā
the house is also has all white-y interior. theyre kinda using bricks as their walls and using white cement to smooothen it.Ā
our cottage is actually wasnt our (wasnt mine, more spesifically since its my dream) but a person lending it for me. the cottage is like apartement studio sized, with one bathroom-one toilet-one kitchen-2 bedrooms and one living room. they also had descending balcony that leading to the lake.
everything was really fine at first, my mom and my sister in their room and im in my own room that has a window facing the lake. its so beautiful i cant help it to not to look at it.Ā
then we have guests. first is the person who own the house, the one who lending it to me. Heās my boss i guess? seems like i work for him and maybe i did a good job so he gave me a wonderful vacation like this :/ but honestly i dont know him. he somehow looks like a kind middle aged man.Ā
so myĀ ābossā visited me with his wife ok? she talks a lot with my mom blablabla, and iām escorting my boss around the house and thanking him lending this such beautiful and wonderful cottage.Ā after that he went home with his wife, then come another guests. shes our close relative and her kids that i babysits.Ā
things went okay, we chats, we have lunch together, blablablba.Ā
then i felt tired so i went to the balcony, its the first time i saw the lake. its beautiful, cool and clear water. it has fishes too! i greet my neighbor too, they had sweet childs. somehow i suddenly thinking to went fishing later but mom called me
she said someone is looking for me? so i went back to the living room
one of the Bli, or the mens who handle the houses wants to meet and talk to me. We sit in the guest room,Ā
the Bli give me a contract and a letter. the contract says, the house is re-written and the ownernship is given to me, legally. which is i am confused, how. why.Ā
the previous owner is my boss like i said before, and like what i said to the Bli.Ā
Bli asked me to read the letter then.Ā the letter is from the bossās wife. i got weird feelings from here.Ā
the letter is said that she knows my relationship with her husband, which i dont know what relationship betwwn us except boss-employee. shes suspecting her husband for having an affair, so thats why shes contacting me now. luckly she wasnt suspecting me anymore after saw me face-to-faceĀ
eventho sheās letting me go, im kinda feeling bad too bcs somehow my boss is relaly have an affair and cheating her wife. so to calming down, i tried to fishing and goes to the lake.Ā
at first the lake is still bright, its in late afternoon but not too sunny. the weather is great too, not too windy or too hot or too chilling. its perfect.Ā
so i stand on the terrace, unexpectedly its a flat surface that could float. kinda feels like rubber boat but more sturdy. on the first try, i kinda failed. i almost drown bcs i cant control the stick/?, like how you use bamboo boat. the neighbors asked me and tried to help me, luckly i could stand on the boat again on my own. so i went home to dried and clean my body.Ā
i dont really remember whats happening later, but i went back to the lake. but this time with Jaebeom. or Jay B. or GOT7 JB. Heās reading with his fishing tools and waiting for me to go on his boat.
HIS BOAT IS THE COOLEST if i may say. Its like, im floating in the water! you know like NInjaās wakling on water? i feel it like that.Ā
but ini fact, his boat is glass or mirror-like made. we can write on it too! It wroteĀ āI wont give up, stay on my future!ā somethng like that, i forgot. Jay B smiled at me and somehow cheered me up.
i look up, the skyās suddenly turns purple.Ā
i am not a sunset enjoyer person, but this time i do enjoy it. its so...soothing? its purple, orangey and pink all blended together...and its reflected to the lake. i feel like floating in the sky... i love it.
the sky is something like this
ssUP. just remembered my pass lmao
Encore.
-
You wanna hurt yourself
Iāll stay with you
You wanna make yourself go through the pain
Itās better to be held than holding on.
-Ā
https://open.spotify.com/track/0TxSk5fpK01cBLV9ePqcE6?si=_wigyZ9tRciDR0TMolawYQ
hi.
itās been a while, isnāt it?
hmm, i know i only visited here whenever i felt miserable, or i am in my depressed state. But i did this as my coping atm. Please bear with me, myself.
I recognize my state these days is so stressed, like so bad. I cried every night, i cried when i opened my laptop, i cried while looking at my phone. I realized iām not okay when i cried this easily. I am an emotional person, i shed tears a lot but i didn't cry this much due to my personal thing.
but today, i encouraged myself to be opened up and write this all down with expectation, those negative feelings could be settled down. And this because i just listened to Youngjaeās newly released live stage song, Lonely.
the lyrics, its describe my condition well as i could say. Iām on that. I feeling that.
No, its not my first time see it. I know it was released on April 1st but i REFUSED to watch it because im still denying my condition.
but now, i accept the fact that Iām Lonely.
I am alone.
I am with people but iām alone.
As i always am.
i just watched this movie. its great.Ā
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Lives_(2016_film)