quite bpd is receiving a curse within an already cursed disorder. you will wholeheartedly consider that you are faking because you do not meet the criteria, as you are not manifesting the classic symptoms.
but quite bpd is way more than a page of the DSM-V with its 9 criteria diagnosis scheme
quite bpd is having a fearful avoidant attachment style. you do crave intimacy but you would never dare to ask for it. you deprive yourself of love because deep down you consider yourself unworthy of it
quite bpd is fastened images of violence in your imagination, but when you open your eyes and look at your hands and legs, you are still as a statue. nonetheless event after event, conflict after conflict, the anger remains repressed and ready to surface in explosive but rare fits of rage
quite bpd is endless social isolation. something de-clicked in your mind and distancing yourself from the world does not allow any abandonment, be it perceived or real
people pleasing comes as second nature to you, you wouldn’t handle rejection or disagreement so you do as your told not matter how inconvenient and inconsiderate it feels. you turned into a self sacrificing machine and the stop button broke long ago
quite bpd is looking at yourself in the mirror and hating what you see. the feelings of worthlessness consume you. you feel inadequate, broken. the hopelessness turns into self harm and suicidal ideation.
but you learnt how to mask all these struggles and sufferings so well. you excel at pretending to be fine, the facade of normality and happiness never falls off - you wouldn’t allowed it.
and the others will have no clue how you’re constantly on edge and at war at yourself.
and the words of invalidation you will tell yourself linger and you shrug it off - what to get help for if “i am fine”, right?
baratheonpilled
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
