A_Heart_Inscribed

Currently I am writing sporadically and only for the Avengers. I apologize but... School/Work take priority and that consumes most of my time. (A Heart Adorned is my personal tumblr). "Even if to write upon my heart, To remind me who You are."

[elflowpatosworld]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting on Tumblr, and I'm excited to share my first fanfic with you all. I've been a big fan of The Hunger Games, but especially of Haymitch Abernathy. So, I decided to take the opportunity to write one from the heart. I hope everyone enjoys it!

Prologue: The Shards of Ava

°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°

The bottle was half-empty. Or half-full. Haymitch didn't give a damn either way.

The transport bus rattled as it passed over a cracked ridge near the edge of District 12 one of the few remaining roads, worn down by the time and neglect. Like everything else around here. Like him.

He sat hunched in the corner of the bus, parked behind the Justice building, barely moving. The cushion beneath him was thin and squeaked when he shifted, doing little to ease the cold pressing through the metal wall at his back.

A Capitol, issued screen buzzed above the driver's seat, flickering with static. The colors were too bright, the smiles too wide. Normally, he'd tune it out. But the volume had been left on.

And then he heard it.

"Welcome, welcome, Panem! It's a bright day here in the Capitol, and we have a very special guest joining us tonight on the Caesar Flickerman show- Gamemaker Seneca Crane!"

Cheers erupted from the screen. Laughter. Music. Glitter. Fake smiles.

Haymitch groaned and ran a hand through his unwashed hair. "Great," he muttered. "The beard himself." Haymitch leaned back with a grunt and took another swig.

Seneca Crane sat down, polished and smug. His perfectly trimmed beard curled in sharp lines along his chin, every inch of him controlled and rehearsed. His suit was blood-red velvet with black lapels, Capitol fashion at its most pretentious.

"Seneca, Seneca," Caesar said with a grin that could split mountains. "The Games are just around the corner, and the citizens of Panem are dying for a taste of what's to come!"

Seneca folded one leg over the other. As he adjusted his seat, looking calm. Confident. Arrogant. "This year's Games are different," he said, eyes glinting. "I've worked on them harder than anything I've ever done. I want Panem to feel everything. Suspense, heartbreak, awe. These Games will make people feel again. This isn't just a bloodbath, it's a spectacle."

"Ohhh, chills!" Caesar clutched his arm dramatically. "You hear that, folks? You'd better hold onto your seats!"

The audience whooped and clapped.

Haymitch snorted. Feel, huh? That's rich. They never feel what the districts feel. They only cheer when the blood spills. He grabbed the tin cup beside him, reached for the ice tray on the floor, half-melted cubes floating in tepid water, and dropped three chunks into the metal. Clink. Clink. Clink.

"Seneca's going to give us a real treat this year! But wait, Seneca. Before we dive too deep into the slaughter and suspense, I hear you've had a little... romantic development in your life?" Caesar wiggles his brows.

Haymitch didn't look up. He rolled his eyes and uncorked the bottle.

"Tell me, tell all of us are the rumors true? Is our brilliant Gamemaker off the market?"

Seneca Chuckled. The crowd giggled and swooned.

Haymitch frowned as he poured his drink, pausing mid-motion.

Seneca went on, voice silky. "I met her about 13 years ago. She changed my life."

"Oooooh! You sly devil!" Caesar fanned himself. "Do tell, do tell. Is she from the Capitol? A fellow creative? A stylist? An actress?"

Seneca shook his head, grinning like he had a secret too good to keep.

"She's from District 12."

The cup in Haymitch's hand trembled. He stood there, heart hammering in his chest as he stared at the screen, lips parted slightly.

"That's right," Seneca continued, "I was in District 12 with President Snow's blessing. I went there to... absorb the essence of the place. Find inspiration. I wanted to do something raw. Real for when I would be a Game maker."

Haymitch's fingers tightened around the bottle.

"She was quiet. Captivating. Everyone in the district seemed to know of her but not know her. I saw her once in the market square, and she stuck with me. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I asked the local Peacekeepers to help me find her. The mayor himself arranged it."

The bus seemed to shrink around Haymitch. Haymitch's jaw clenched. His vision blurred, but not from the whiskey.

"And when she stepped into the room," Seneca said, eye glowing, "I knew. She was the one."

"And now," Seneca said, standing from his chair and gesturing toward the audience, "She's here with me tonight."

The camera panned across a sea of glittering Capitol citizens until it landed on her.

The lights dimmed around the theater, a spotlight falling gently on a woman seated in the third row.

Her hair was longer now, coiled into soft waves, laced with gold dust. Her dress was midnight blue and shimmered like river stones. Her expression was calm, perfectly composed, just like the Capitol liked their pretty things.

Haymitch froze. His hand suddenly went numb.

CRASH!

The glass shattered, but it didn't startle him.

The sound rang through the empty bus like a gunshot. The bottle struck the floor at an angle, cracked along its neck, then exploded in a splash of whiskey and shards that danced across the floor like glittering fragments of memory.

The reflection of her face—delicate, unreadable, stared back at him in the shattered shards.

His chest heaved, but the breath never came.

He stood there, frozen watching the reflection in the glass.

Her reflection.

Not a memory. Not a hallucination. Not the distorted dream he used to wake up from.

On the screen, Caesar's voice faded behind the sound of applause and camera flashes.

"There she is, folks! Look at her, isn't she stunning?"

The screen zoomed in on her face wide Capitol lashes, glimmer across her cheekbones, lips curved into a soft, obedient smile. Her eyes were lined in gold, but they hadn't changed. Still deep. Still dark. Still carrying something ancient in their silence.

And Haymitch felt every wall inside him collapse.

And it was her.

The same girl who once sat beneath the old willow tree near the mines.

The same girl who used to sketch quiet things in her journal while the district roared behind her.

The same girl he learn to love.

His eyes burned. Not from alcohol this time.

Then something in him snapped.

He took a step forward. His foot came down hard on the glass with a sharp crunch pain flaring up his leg but he didn't flinch. He stepped forward again. And again. Shards struck to the skin of his feet, slicing the skin, into memory.

The memories hit him like a wave breaking open his chest. Her laughter—quiet, rare. Her silence. Her presence beside him when words failed. The only person who didn't treat him like a trophy after his Games, who didn't fear him, or praise him, or ask him for stories. She just... saw him. The broken, scarred, hollow version of Haymitch Abernathy that no one else wanted.

Until Snow stole her.

Ripped her from him just like his family. Just like everything else.

But now she was right there.

Haymitch reached out toward the screen, hand trembling. Her face filled the frame. So close, but already gone again. Her smile didn't reach her eyes.

Then without thinking, Haymitch whispered her name.

"Ava..."

The same moment it fell from Seneca's lips on screen.

"Ava," Seneca said proudly, beaming at the crowd. "And she's the love of my life."

Haymitch's fingers curled into fists. His knuckles turned white. He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until it tore out of his chest in a rasp.

Ava.

She was supposed to be dead.

He wished she were dead.

Because this? This was worse. So much worse.

Alive but owned. Clothed in Capitol silk. Sitting beneath golden lights beside a man who had no idea what it meant to love her. To love anything.

The reflection of the light caught her face, and it felt like time folded in on itself.

Ava beside him the night he screamed in his sleep and woke to find her hand resting gently over his no words, no questions.

Ava, in the dark whispering, "You don't owe them joy."

The Capitol audience clapped and laughed and cheered as if they were part of some romance novel they didn't understand.

He pressed his hand to the screen like he could reach through it. Like he could touch her one more time. Like he could rip her out of that world and take her back to the girl who used to draw stars in coal dust.

His lips trembled as he whispered her name.

"Ava..."

The screen didn't respond . Just more applause.

Seneca smiled, then lifted his glass to toast her.

Haymitch dropped to his knees.

Blood seeped from his foot into the spilled whiskey, staining it red.

He didn't even notice.

The ghosts were screaming now memories crowding behind his eyes, pressing against his ribs.

All this time, he had buried her deep convinced she was gone.

But she wasn't.

She was alive. She had been taken. And now, she was displayed.

And all of it every ounce of his pain—looped back to one man.

Snow.

The man who took everything from him.

°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°☆••°

To be continued...

[kaunis-sielu]

Presidential: End

“Okay where the hell is this coming from?” Sam asks he leans forward in his seat as if he needs to move closer to Steve to understand.

“You’re going to break rule number three?” Scott says simultaneously from your other side.

“The fuck Steve?” Bucky growls from the front.

“Okay boys calm down.” You say as calmly as you can. “Why don’t we wait until we’re back at the White House to talk about this.”

“Good idea. Mostly because we’ve got a tail.” Steve says glancing out the window at his side mirror.

“What?” You breathe, this is new and you hate it.

“How did you miss that?” Bucky asks glancing back.

“Clearly I didn’t.” Steve snaps.

“Guys. Home first.” You remind them as Scott wraps an arm around your shoulders and you glance up at him in confusion.

“In case I need to get you out of the line of fire.” He explains, “Don’t worry. It usually doesn’t come to that.”

“Usually?” You know that they can hear the terror in your voice as it raises two octaves.

“Scott you’re not helping.” Sam growls checking his gun.

“Sorry.” Scott says quietly, “If we need you to get down I want you to come toward me.”

“Okay.” You mumble before your eyes meet Steve’s in the mirror again. They’re calm and that does wonders to calm you.

“This is Ms. Marvel’s security team, we have a tail send back up.” Steve says into the two-way radio mounted in the truck.

“Copy.” Another voice crackles over the radio. Steve takes a sharp turn to try and lose whomever is following you.

“What is the other vehicle? Over.”

“Red, Chevy Impala. License plate Tango, Roger, Echo-”

“Nine six seven?” You ask cutting him off.

“Yes.” The three other men stare at you as the radio asks for the plate again. “Hill whose car is it?”

“Barton. It’s Clint Barton’s car.”

“Possible friendly.” Steve says into the walkie before glancing back at you, “Call him.” You nod and pull your phone out of your purse and call Clint.

“First Lady.” He answers on the second ring.

“Are you following my SUV?”

“No but Wanda has my car.”

“Okay bye.” You hang up and call Wanda. “Wanda please tell me that you’re following me in Clint’s car.”

“We thought that might be you. Whose driving? They’re driving like a maniac.” You let out a sigh of relief, before rubbing your forehead with your first two fingers on your right hand. You close your eyes, you can feel a headache building.

“You can’t just follow me! Damn! Wanda we thought I was in danger! That’s why he’s driving crazy! Wait, whose we?”

“Nat and I.” Her voice sounds much smaller, like you’ve properly scolded her, or like she’s realized the panic she and Natasha have caused.

“Steve it’s Nat and Wanda.” You mutter and he actually growls.

“Tell them to pull the fuck over.”

“Pull over.” You relay into the phone. “The guys are going to come talk to you.”

“Okay?“ She seems confused and so are you. You hang up and that’s when you realize what he’s doing. He’s teaching them a lesson.

"We’re going hot boys.”

“Steve-”

“No. Do not argue this one with me.” He snaps his angry blue eyes meet your wide ones in the mirror again.

“Fine.” You sigh and he, Sam and Bucky all pile out of the SUV guns up and on the defensive.

You and Scott sit in silence while the rest of the team checks on the car that’d been following you. It’s obviously all clear but Nat and Wanda are pretty freaked out about the guns pointed at them.

You watch from the car as a very tightly wound Steve, very patiently in your opinion, talks to your friends. Once they’ve been properly scolded you call Wanda, since Scott won’t let you out of the car, and make plans for them to come to the White House over the weekend for a movie night.

No one says anything about Steve’s declaration of wanting to date you until you get back to the White House. Just like you asked.

The four men argue about it for what feels like hours, you know that it isn’t but when you’re the one sitting silently by waiting for them to come to a conclusion it feels like hours. With a heavy sigh and a frown Bucky is the last to give in.

You don’t tell Tony for a few months. You don’t want to raise any unnecessary alarms or cause issues if this is just going to be a fling.

But it’s not. Steve is smart, kind, caring, protective and so so wonderful. Sometimes you feel like you’ve known him for your whole life and while Tony isn’t thrilled that your entire team broke protocol he can’t deny the way that Steve looks at you. It drives the press crazy that no one will confirm that you’re a couple or not. But you don’t owe them shit.

-Three years later-

“Bucky where are we going?” You grumble shoving your hair out of your face and into a messy bun on top of your head. You’d been almost asleep, Steve, Sam, Scott and Bucky had been making some last minute arrangements for a trip you’re taking to meet your new nephew

“This way.” He says, not really an answer but since it’s just the two of you padding down the quiet hallway of the White House you’re not too concerned. If it was a security issue Scott, Sam and Steve would all be here too.

“That doesn’t tell me anything.” You huff and he chuckles.

“That’s all I’ve got Lady.” He tells you. You wonder vaguely if they’ll still call you Lady since you won’t be First Lady for much longer. Tony had decided that one term as President was enough for him, Rhody had won the election and in three short weeks you’d be a former First Lady, and while the team hasn’t agreed you’re hoping to be a teacher again. Bucky leads you up a staircase and then holds open the door for you. You shoot him a puzzled look as you pass him and go out onto the roof. You follow the soft glow and find Steve standing next to a table with two glasses and a tub of ice cream.

“Steve? Did something bad happen?” He knows you well enough to know that ice cream is your go to comfort treat.

“No, everything is good.” He seems anxious, something you’ve only seen a couple of times since you’d met him. It sets you more on edge than you’d thought that it would.

“Do you want to eat this in our room?” You ask glancing over at the ice cream and champagne sitting on the table. Champagne? He’d officially moved into the White House with you a year and a half after you’d started dating. Almost two years after you’d met him.

“No. I just. Come here.” He says softly holding out a hand. You take it and cross into his warm embrace. It might be the end of the summer, August in DC wasn’t exactly cold but you’d never say no to being wrapped in his arms. “I love you.” He whispers, “I love the way you crinkle your nose when you’re frustrated and the way you play with your hair. I love how you know me so well, that you’re willing to give so much of yourself to others. I even love that annoyed little noise you make when we have to get up early. I want to keep falling in love with you over and over everyday. Marry me?” He asks as he goes to sink down on one knee. You don’t let him. You pulling his mouth to yours kissing him fiercely. He pulls his mouth from yours, just far enough to ask “Sweetheart is that a yes?” He asks cautiously.

“Yes. A million times yes.” You tell him before he laughs and kisses you again.

Tag list:

@pokey-hedgehog @foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @wonderlandfandomkingdom @abschaffer2

[a-heart-inscribed]

This was so freaking good!

[kaunis-sielu]

Presidential

It wasn’t that you didn’t think your Uncle Tony wouldn’t do a good job. He would. He’d do a great job. It was just that you were really happy with your life and how things were going.

Your job was great, you were seeing a guy named Peter and you knew if Uncle Tony won you’d have to move in with him. You knew that you’d have a million new responsibilities, that things with work would have to end and so would your budding relationship with Peter. You wouldn’t get to continue to live your life the way you wanted, hell you couldn’t do that now. Ever since the announcement that you’d be the one to take on the job reporters had been staking out your home, gym, office and even your best friend’s houses. Honestly it was maddening.

Most of the people in your life hadn’t known about your connection to Governor Stark until the announcement. Only your two best friends Natasha and Wanda had known. Then again what Natasha knew so did her husband Clint but he’d never said a word. People had been pissed, some claiming you didn’t trust them but you’d just wanted to keep the insanity and literal politics away from your life. You didn’t always see eye to eye with Tony on some of his policies either, which just complicated things. You didn’t need to hear other people’s opinions either, it wasn’t like you could do anything about what Tony did anyways.

You’d nearly dropped the phone when he’d asked.

“It’s tradition.” He’d said, and you’d promptly asked why your older sister Maria couldn’t do it. Apparently the niece had to be unmarried. Something about outside influences from a spouse being a problem.

You knew it was over the second he won Florida. There’d only been a couple of states his team hadn’t been sure about and the roar that went through the crowd had been deafening. And it wasn’t like you weren’t proud of him, he’d worked hard. Campaigned hard. He would do a great job, President Tony Stark and serving as his First Lady? His oldest, unmarried niece.

You.

They came to meet you at work. Four hulking men in black suits, guns at their hips and ear pieces in. Your class erupted into chaos the second that Ben asks,

“Is that a gun?” At the top of his voice. This sets off a chain reaction, some of the kids who have dad’s that hunt start chattering loudly about the guns they’ve got at home. A couple start to cry, two in the front of the room, Fredrick and Sera, freeze. Kruz starts talking about how his dad, a police officer, has a gun just like that one. You glare at the man that the gun belongs to and he pulls his coat down in an attempt to hide the weapon. But it’s far, far too late for that.

Damnit Scott." The blonde man says, he’s got these green blue eyes that are currently narrowed at the offending man, Scott. The brunette with brown hair tied neatly back into a 'man bun' groans covering his face with a hand. 

"It's okay! Friends! Calm down!" You attempt to yell over the screaming before deciding that this problem can only be handled one way. "Out." You snap turning on the four men. "Get. Out." You shove them into the hallway and snap the door shut. You kick the doorstop into the crack of the door so that none of the men can get into the room and glare at them through the window. The one who had called out his co-worker puts his hands on his hips as he glares back at you through the window. He points at the badge on his belt then points at the door. You shake your head at him and pull the curtain over your window effectively blocking them from your view.

Turning back to your class you’re surprised to find stunned silence. When the door handle jiggles you yank the curtain back again and glare, pointing at the African American man whose hand is on the handle. You shake your head once, then make a cutting motion over your neck to tell him to knock it off before sliding the curtain back over the window again. You turn back to your now very quiet class,

"Ms. Hill? Who were those guys?" Brac asks quietly, it’s probably the only quiet think that you’ve ever heard or seen him do.

"They work for my Uncle. Don't worry they won't hurt you." 

"Why did they have guns?" Mya asks, her eyes wide as they dart back toward the doorway.

"I'm pretty sure they were fake." You lie to the 23 first graders in front of you with a little shrug.

Luckily relief seems to wash through the class, it seems they've bought your complete and total bullshit. You ignore the men and finish the last two hours of school in peace. They don’t try to get back in and luckily none of your kids seem to be willing to attempt to go to the bathroom. 

At the end of the day you open your door to let your class start to get ready to go. The blonde pops off of the wall and you hold a hand up to stop him.

“I will deal with you after my class leaves.” You say as calmly as you can through gritted teeth. He nods once and none of them move to follow you when your class lines up to go home. You lead your class to the doors then high five them all goodbye, getting a few hugs in the process. You wave good bye to the busses then take a deep breath and head back to your classroom. You gesture for the men to go inside, two go in first the second two follow you in.

 "What the hell were you thinking?" You snap hands on your hips. The four men rightfully, look ashamed of themselves.

"We are so sorry." The blond says.

“That’s all you have to say for yourselves. You’re so sorry? You brought guns into a school!” You ask staring at him in disbelief. Is he joking right now?

“It’s our job to protect you.” He says, his chest puffing up in irritation. “We're your security detail.”

“Yea, I got that.” You snark, “Do you have names?”

“Steve Rogers. This is James Barnes,” He gestures to the brunette, “Scott Lang.” The shortest man nods, “And Sam Wilson.” The one who winked at you smiles again.

“Why do I have four guys? I’m one person isn’t that a bit of overkill?”

“No. One to drive, one to ride shotgun, and two to flank you.” James explains, “And call me Bucky. Cap knows I hate being called James.”

“Alright, Bucky, what are you expecting to happen at school?” You challenge, it is supposed to be a secure building, how they got in past the extremely protective Monica is beyond you.

“Nothing. But that doesn’t mean something won’t happen.”

“So one of you is going to be here everyday?” You ask, only slightly horrified.

“No, we’ll all be here.” Steve tells you, folding his arms over his impressive chest. God these dudes make you feel tiny, they’re so huge.

“Everyday?” You ask raising your eyebrows, one would be easy enough to explain away to your class but all four? This is going to be a nightmare.

“Until Inauguration Day.”

“Why only until then?”

“That’s probably a conversation to have with President Elect Stark.” Steve says and you get the impression he knows something you don’t. You’re just about to ask when the door pops open and a very frazzled Principal Sitwell walks into the room.

“Miss Hill who in the world are these men?” He demands bustling toward you, you have to take a slow breath to not correct him that you use Ms. not Miss. Steve places himself between you and him, just an arm really but it’s enough to stop Principal Sitwell in his tracks. He stares up at Steve with narrowed eyes that have stopped both children and adults in their tracks.

“Principal Sitwell, this is my Secret Service detail. Rogers, Barnes, Wilson and Lang.” You tell him gesturing to each man in turn, none of them give him much of a reaction, like a smile or nod would be too much.

“Secret Service?” He repeats looking skeptically at you.

“Yes Sir. My Uncle is President Elect Tony Stark, I’ll be serving in the role of First Lady during his term.” He stares at you before her mouth thins into a line, he looks furious and you don’t know why.

“You little liar. I want these men, with their weapons out of my building now!” He snaps and. you stare at him in shock. You what? He thinks you’re lying? How did he not know that you were related to Stark and were going to be serving as First Lady? The rest of the world seems to.

“Woah!” Bucky breathes coming in front of you as well. “She’s not lying to you.” He and Steve both pull their credentials off of their waists. Principal Sitwell turns and looks at the two men behind him who have done the same.

“This really is the last straw. First I get angry phone calls from parents about men with guns in your classroom. Then I come in and you’re surrounded by men with guns who claim to be secret service. No, I took a risk hiring someone so young for such a prestigious school.” He snaps, “Miss Hill you’re fired.” Your mouth drops open and you blink at him in stunned silence.

“I’m sorry what?”

“You’re fired.”

“You can’t just fire me.” You argue, and he can’t, because of the Union you’re in the process is much harder to do.

“I just did. Don’t make this worse for yourself.” He snaps and you gather up your bag of supplies and go. “You can come and pack up your things over the weekend. Leave the actors at home.” He snips as you storm past him, you will not let him see you cry.

You hold it together, just barely, until you get out of the building and into the black SUV's waiting out front.

Once you're out of sight, in the back of the SUV with Bucky and Scott you burst into tears. Neither of the men seem to know what to do. You sit in the back of the truck and let the tears spill from your eyes. Just like that you’ll never get to see your class again, they’re going to be heartbroken. You’re heartbroken! You cry for a few minutes before taking slow deep breaths to calm yourself down. It won’t do you any good to go meet with Tony as a sobbing mess, you don’t need the press to see that either. The four men in the car seem uncomfortable, none of them talk while you drive and when you go to swipe the tears from under your eyes Steve passes you a little packet of Kleenex from the armrest. You have to stay calm, need to relax before you've got to deal with Tony.

"You okay?" Bucky asks, his voice is deep and rich.

"I'm going to have to be." You tell him, voice thick with unshed tears, “I just love my kids so much I’m going to miss the hell out of them. They’re going to be so confused-.” You cut off before you start to cry again.

"I'm so sorry." Steve says from the driver's seat. "Bring it up to President Elect Stark. Maybe he can do something."

"I hate asking him for favors." You admit looking down at the tissue in your hands.

“Well he's asking a pretty big one from you." Sam quips from your right and you realize he's got a really good point.

“You know what, I was going to have to quit my job anyway. I think I'll save that favor for something a bit bigger." You run your fingers through your hair and flop back against the seat. Fired, you scowl out the window and earn a chuckle from Scott.

“Remind me to stay on your good side." He teases and you shoot him a mock glare before breaking out into a smile. He's one of those guys you just can't seem to stay mad at.

“Where are we going?" You ask, it only dawns on you now that you've calmed downthat you hadn't asked before.

“President Elect Stark's house."

“You can call him Tony you know." President Elect Stark seems like such a long, formal title for a man you’ve always known as Tony.

“Actually we're not supposed to." Steve says, his eyes meeting yours briefly in the rear view mirror.

"I'm not going to tell anyone.” You tell them with a shrug, “Besides, I'll probably end up calling him much worse before these next four years are up." All four men laugh as the car turns up your uncle's street. They quickly grow silent when they see the number of news vans parked outside his house, they're practically pressed to the fence in their effort to get a photo of the new President and now you.

“If anything is to happen you are not to stop. You're going directly from this car to the house. Do you understand?" Bucky asks looking over his shoulder at you. You nod before affirming,

“Yes.”

"Ms. Marvel is ready to go." Scott says into a sleeve.

"Who the hell picked that name for me?" You ask, trying to focus on anything but the chaos outside.

“No clue. Let's go." Bucky says, all business, before shoving his door open. People are screaming your name from the other side of the fence. It's more than a little bizarre, you've only been to two events with your uncle. One of them being a private party on election night, the other was the day he announced that he was running for President and you were just on the stage with the rest of your family.

The four men surround you quickly and efficiently and you're safely inside Tony's house in no time. The door clicks shut behind you and the tension leaves the room. You head into the living room for the bar and are greeted by none other than Tony Stark himself holding a glass of wine in his hand. He reaches the glass of wine out to you with a broad smile.

“There she is! The First Lady!”

Tag list:

@pokey-hedgehog @foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @wonderlandfandomkingdom @abschaffer2

[anneapocalypse]

Being an active participant in fandom requires a certain level of self-regulating in order to be a healthy activity. It requires the ability to say “Not for me,” or “Not today,” and walk away.

We can have conversations about patterns we see in fanworks. We can discuss how we portray characters and relationships, how to effectively convey what we want to in writing, how to sensitively approach representations of marginalized characters. But having those conversations productively requires that we approach each other in good faith, and it requires the ability to self-regulate–including recognizing that often there is no hard line, no black and white answer, and we won’t always come to the same conclusions.

It requires an understanding up front that eliminating all fanworks we don’t care for is not the end goal of these conversations.

I’ll give a personal example. There is a ship that deeply, viscerally upsets me in like 95% of its iterations. I can explain why I don’t like it if asked. I’ve written about why I don’t think it’s handled well in canon.

And if I wanted to–if I wanted to–I could make a very convincing-sounding argument for why that ship is objectively bad and wrong and no one should ship it. Not because that’s objectively right, mind you, but because I’m good at arguing. I could slap that together in like… ten minutes, probably.

I don’t do that. If I vent about it on my own blog, it’s as infrequently as I can manage, because I do my best to avoid the content that upsets me. I don’t seek it out to get riled up about it. I don’t seek out content that upsets me, read it in its entirety, and then leave angry comments and send my friends to harass the author. I don’t choose a high-profile writer for the content I don’t like and engage in a targeted campaign of harassment against them all while claiming to be addressing a general problem.

If you are deliberately seeking out content that you know will upset you and reading it anyway and then feeling that you need to take those bad feelings out on the creator, you are not taking care of yourself. You are not engaging in healthy behavior or productive coping mechanisms. You are not keeping yourself safe, and you are not helping to make fandom safer for others. You are not engaging in good faith.

If you find that you do this and you can’t seem to stop, you may need to take some kind of further steps up to and including taking a break from fandom. I’m serious. I’ve taken breaks myself for that exact reason. There’s no shame in it. 

Please monitor your own ability to self-regulate. Please actively evaluate whether or not you are engaging in healthy and productive behavior, for yourself and for others.

[a-heart-inscribed]

59 pages?! Wow I’m astonished that you can write so much! I do not posses this talent and I look up to those who have it! I’m so glad you don’t feel rushed. That is the last thing I want to make writers feel. I just want them to know that I’m excited for what they are doing and I want to support. As a reader I prefer when writers have it all the way written so that it doesn’t go unfinished but this is a free gift to the public so I can not complain

Thank you for that view point, it is much appreciated. And thank you for reaching out. Comments that let us know you like our stuff and are happily wanting and waiting for more makes it easier to keep writing! At least for me.

[a-heart-inscribed]

I check your blog every once in awhile to see if you have posted anything on It Evaded Me. I say this not to rush you but to let you know that I’m excited to see what you produce! Take your time but I’m so ready to read what you produce

Wow thank you so much! I don't feel rushed I feel honored! I have a bad habit of starting something and, if I'm posting it as I go,, getting half way and not finishing so I found it most successful to finish and just edit chapters as I post. So I'll give you an update! It's 59 pages in word (about 25,490 words) and I got to the very end of Infinity war and stalled in motivation. Started another to get flowing again and now am working on them both at the same time but I do work a full time so it can be hard to write. But I watched Infinity war today and it gave me so many ideas for both so! Hopefully soon!

[a-heart-inscribed]

I have made a grave mistake... working on two loki fics and both will probably be rewites of Infinity war... and maybe Endgame. Whyyyyy do I hurt myself so?

[wrenhyperfixates]

The Raven Haired Rebel Masterlist

Series Summary: After invading New York, it was decided that, as a punishment, Loki would work for SHIELD. Yeah, right. After escaping from their custody and stranded on Midgard, the God of Mischief decides to prove he’s the one thing no one ever thought he was: the good guy. Now a vigilante, Loki attempts to make amends for his past wrongdoings while also evading the Avengers, including their newest member. You. Brought in specially for the case, you notice more and more details about the prince’s story don’t add up. When you get the chance to turn him in, will you listen to your employers or your heart that believes Loki’s done nothing wrong?

Prologue: In which Loki decides to forge his own path.

Chapter 1: In which you plead Loki’s case.

Chapter 2: In which Loki is almost caught.

Chapter 3: In which you and Loki meet again.

Chapter 4: In which Loki and you make a breakthrough.

Chapter 5: In which you enact your plan.

Epilogue: In which Loki enjoys his new life with you.

[a-heart-inscribed]

Guys this short series was so good and sweet. I love it!

[howitreallyistobeanartist]

when the story is just not working, but you keep writing anyway

[missannaraven]

Current mood…

[amynchan]

Reminder that she actually wins that season, so keep your head up.

[swordofsun]

Reminder that she constantly had trouble believing that she deserved to be there and her first few could best be described as ‘not the worst’.

And she won. She stayed positive, cried when she needed to, and kept going.

[bardofheartdive]

Once more:

Stay positive

Cry when you need to

Keep going

[a-heart-inscribed]

When you start a fic and don't intend for it to be an Infinity War / Endgame fix it but... Loki.

[a-heart-inscribed]

So my "It Evaded Me" got a a lot of likes for me so I was thinking of turning it into a series and started working on an outline. The idea I have puts that one shot as a middle chapter though... thoughts?

[a-heart-inscribed]

It Evaded Me

Here is a prompt I started awhile back and just found the motivation to start writing again.

I had an idea about possibly turning this into a multi chapter but let me know if you’d like to see that.

Shameless. He was absolutely shameless as he stood there and let a ruthless smile spread across his face, looking down at the team. Your team. His eyes sparkled with a madness you hadn’t seen in years as he look over all of you assembled standing before him.

Your heart was racing and eyes burning with unshed tears and the sting from the smoke in the air around you. There was ash and shoot in the air and you knew it smudged your face.

Madness crackled in his words “Is this all you’ve got? ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’?”

“Loki! Enough!” Thor bellowed from beside you. “What are you doing, brother?”

“Ah, just what I do best. Betrayal is my calling card, is it not?” His eyes flashed over Tony at your side for a moment as he spoke before snapping back to his brother.

Swallowing and fighting back the ache in your chest you called out. “Loki, stop this. Please…”

If you didn’t know him so well you wouldn’t have seen the flash over his face at your words, though it was so fast even you couldn’t read it. “It’s too late for that, darling. Nothing personal.”

Thor sighed and cringed next to you but it barely registered as you shouted back. “Nothing personal? Nothing fucking PERSONAL?!” Magic snaped around your fingers as your hands balled into fists, one instinctively closing over the hilt of your sword.

Rolling his neck and one shoulder he shrugged. “It’s just business, Pet.”

The blood rushing in your ears drown out the shouts of you name mixed with a chorus of ‘no’s, ‘stop’s and ‘wait’s from the team around you. A shout ripped from your lips and you lunged forward, unsheathing the weapon at your side. Though they may have been trying to protest, you could make out your team leaping forward to follow your lead. Steve and Bucky soon made it level to your head start in the charge, you could feel Thor just behind you and hear as Tony took to the air on your other side. You couldn’t get a gage on the others but knew they would fall in line with the team.

Loki snickered and with a flick of his wrist called forward more enemy soldiers before fluidly moving down the steps himself. His movements where almost rhythmic as he moved directly at all of you, a staff materializing in one hand, short sword in the other, and his horned helmet upon his head.

You could hear the line of your team collide headfirst with enemies, battle sounds flaring up around you. In a move Loki himself had taught you, your forward attack turned into the momentum to slide under your opponent followed by a back stroke to the back of the soldier’s head with the hilt in you hand hard enough to knock them out. Turning quickly back to your now clear path to Loki, you could almost see pride shining under the crazed façade as he watched you, moving steadily in your direction.

He stopped a short distance from you, planting his feet in a wide stance to brace for your incoming assault. “Shall we dance, sweetheart?”

Your sword clashed into his as he blocked your swing. “Fuck you, Loki. I-”

His chuckle and counterattack threw you off, but you blocked in the nick of time and he nearly purred at you, “I believe you did just that. darling.”

The growl that ripped from your throat was almost feral and the hurt that flooded through you fueled your movements. You had trained with Loki frequently, you two often sparing with weapons and, as your magic developed, he had trained you to use your magic. The two of you were normally evenly matched and you knew the other’s style like the back of your hand, but you were gaining the upper hand in this moment.

“Y/n!” you heard Tony’s voice before the incoming blast from his suit. The blast hit between you and Loki and it sent you both reeling apart. Tony rarely missed when he was this close. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said the blast was targeted to break the two of you apart.

Using your legs to swing for momentum you flip yourself back to standing, facing Loki as he regains his bearings as well. You move fast, trying to get to him before he is totally oriented, but your attack is met with an easy parry.

Swinging again you end up in another deadlock, Loki’s face inches from yours, his blue eyes burning into yours. “After everything Loki, after you promised… You couldn’t give me any hint that this was where your mind was venturing? You promised you’d let me know so I could help before it got to this…”

His eyes flash and face fell a bit before he responds through clenched teeth, “Sorry, Love. It evaded me…”

Pushing him back a step to unlock your weapons you let your arms fall to your sides. “Please, Loki, stop this. If you stop this now maybe…” You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping from your eyes, slowly down your cheeks, “We can fix it. I’ll help you, just please stop this.”

His staff vanished from his hand and he lowered the sword in the other one as he stepped closer. “I-” his eyes roamed your face for a moment before he sighed. “I can’t, love.”

You had let him get too close and as his hand came shooting up you braced for an attack, trying to move to block it. His hand grasping the collar of your uniform surprised you and you looked up into his eyes again. “I can’t.” He breathed before he tugged you forward, and his lips crashed into yours.

It was familiar but so different. Over the course of your relationship with the God of Mischief you had shared many different types of kisses with him from heated and fast to slow and comforting. But this was desperate and pleading, as if he were trying to make you understand.

Then you felt it, the familiar brush of Loki’s mind and consciousness against yours. Both he and Wanda had worked with all of the team to learn to guard your minds against intruders. None of you had been practicing long and the training had proven futile less than an hour previously, so you were surprised. You knew Loki could force his way in like the others had, but this brush was tentative, asking permission for access. Instinctively you let down your wall to him but slammed the wall back up to prevent full access. He could speak to you, hear you respond, but his access to more than that was restricted unless he forced it.

He was in your mind as his lips moved urgently against yours. Talk to Stark. Force him to explain if you must. He has answers.

Loki? You responded back softly, another tear slipping out and down into your kiss.

Please, talk to Stark. His lips broke from yours and he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you with your eyes closed still. I love you, Y/n.

Loki… Your thoughts were laced with heartbreak as you spoke directly to his mind but before you could go on, he softly pulled his mind from yours. You could feel his hesitation before he blocked you from chasing him into his own mind, his walls more solid and unyielding than yours had ever been.

“Get ready to block, darling.” He whispered softly as your eyes opened back up to look into his.

Looking up this closely at him his eyes were clear, and you were looking into the eyes of the man you loved. It made your chest ache more. He gave you a sad smile before you watched the madness seep back in and cover him like a mask, his smile growing more sinister.

The normal volume to his voice almost made you jump compared to the intimacy previously. “For old times sake, sweetheart. But you will fail.” Suddenly he used the hand still clutching your collar to push you back before slowly raising his sword to point it at your chest and taking a fighting stance. “You will all fail.”

His slow movements had allowed you, though confused and conflicted, to ready yourself for his incoming assault. Again, your blades met, and it was back to the familiar dance of advance and retreat.

You found yourself in another stalemate, blades locked and face to face. At some point he had resummoned his staff, which he currently held behind him for balance. Mind racing you reached out with your magic, triggering his reflex to bring the staff forward in a way that let you slam your free hand down on his wrist before moving around to catch the staff as he released it.

Shock shown on his face as you swiped one of his legs out from under him with his staff, sending his staggering backwards and the onto his ass.

Looking up at you he cackled, “Impressive, but not enough.” His magic sparked through the air around you and suddenly he was on his feet again.

You raise the staff to throw, aiming for his legs so as not to harm him but bring him down. As you let it go, flying true, you are surprised when metal clangs and Steve’s shield crashes into the staff, knocking them both away from Loki.

Your eyes snap to Steve as he lands next to you, having jumped from somewhere nearby. “Damn, sorry Y/n. Bad timing with that throw.” He darts forward to grab his shield before you can respond, and you see something slip from his hand before ducking. He follows the movement by picking up his shield and the staff before dodging another swing from Loki.

Shaking your head, you cannot believe what you are seeing. Laying at Loki’s feet is the orb you know is one of the exact items you are trying to keep out of the hands of these enemies. Steve lands a punch to Loki’s face before Loki knocks him back, Steve falling at your feet.

You know you should go to the orb, but you instinctively crouch next to Steve. Loki is already scooping up the orb as you hold out your hand to Steve, pulling him until he is sitting up.

“Thank you for this, Captain. Now we can be done here.” Loki winks at the two of you before waving a hand and vanishing, followed shortly by the surrounding enemy soldiers.

You sigh and survey the damage around you, surprised at how minimal it is, all the focus must have been on your team. Still crouched next to Steve you look up and watch Tony descend and land in front of you as the rest of the team make their way to you.

“You alright, Cap?” Tony asks as his helmet pulls back.

Steve stood slowly, taking you by the hand so you stood with him. “Yeah. I’m fine. What about the others?”

“All good, Captain.” Peter replies as he lands beside you.

Looking around you took stalk. Nat is limping but standing, Scott and Thor look a little roughed up but alright, and Bucky was running a hand through his hair but fine. Your team looked fine and you wondered how the others were doing uptown.

“Did he get it?” Tony asks, looking directly at Steve.

“Yeah, he did.” Steve doesn’t sound like you’d expect, there is no disappointment in his tone.

“Good.” You whirl on Tony as the word comes out of his mouth.

“What?!” It sounds like a hiss through your teeth.

Peter bounces from foot to foot before speaking up. “Uh, Mr. Stark, but I thought the whole point was to keep the death orb away from you know… dangerous… um…” He glances at you before going on, “the bad guys?”

“Never mind kid. We should get back to the compound and discuss-”

“No!” You shout at him, tears in your eyes again. “Tony Stark you tell me what is going on NOW!”

Tony sighs and glances around. “This isn’t the time, Y/n.”

Your hands crackle with magic as you stalk forward and push him squarely on the chest. “He said… you’d have answers?! What the fuck is going on?!”

You felt a hand on your arm and looked up into Steve’s face, his helmet now removed too. “Not here, Y/n.”

Begrudgingly, you nod to Steve but turn back to Tony. “This isn’t over.”

The ride back with Steve on his motorcycle is quite as you think, confused and hurt. Steve has always been one of your closest friends on the team so, though you are mad at him for having some part in this, you spend the ride back with your cheek pressed against his back for comfort. When he pulls up to the compound and parks the bike, you don’t get off at first and leave your arms around Steve’s middle.

“Hey, Doll. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to.” You say, muffled into his back, as you tighten your hug. “It hurts.”

Sighing he puts a hand on yours on his chest. “We need to go talk to Tony. This… we new this was gonna hurt. Know I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“Steve, tell me what’s happening…”

He breaks your hold to get off the bike before helping you up and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “We need to brief the team.”

“I’m not just the team to him, Steve. At least I didn’t think…”

“You’re not, Y/n. You know that. This plan… It was Tony and Loki’s idea. Tony needs to explain.” He starts guiding you inside.

You are the last to get there, making you think Steve may have taken a bit of a longer route home to give you time to process. You hadn’t even noticed to be honest. Hugging him once more you separate yourself from Steve and he lets you move further into the room.

“Tony?” Your voice is softer than you meant, and he looks up to meet your eyes.

“Y/n. I’m sorry.” Tony was moving towards you as he spoke and stopped in front of you. “This was sort of a need-to-know plan and yo-”

The sound of your hand meeting his cheek echoes through the room that has gone totally silent. You can feel the eyes of everyone on you, but you stand tall. “And I didn’t need to know? Like hell I didn’t! Loki is-” Your voice cracks and you go to swing at Tony again, but he catches your wrist.

“I know. Trust me, I know. It wasn’t that you didn’t need to know. You couldn’t know.” Tony lowered your hand but still held it in his. “That was actually Loki’s stipulation. He knew they would try to go straight for you, into your mind, to check his loyalty to them. If you knew, it could have given him away. And he was right.”

You shudder, remembering the intrusion into your mind as you first stood against the alien army. It had taken longer than they thought thanks to Loki and Wanda’s training, but they had got in none the less. They hadn’t even tried to touch the others minds.

Shaking your head, you take it in. “He doubted me?”

“No.” Tony takes a few steps back to lean against the couch in the common room as he speaks. “But he knew they would throw everything they had at you because of how close to him you were. He blamed himself for not preparing you enough.”

“So he-” You shake your head yet again to keep your voice from breaking, “He’s what then? Undercover or something?”

With a sad smile Tony nods. “We needed an inside man. Desperately. Loki volunteered when I suggested we get one.” He ran his hand through his hair before going on. “We had to give them a reason to trust him. That was what today was about. Minimal destruction but make it look like we failed and Loki could deliver.”

“For how long?” You ask gently.

Tony seems confused, as if that wasn’t the question he was expecting. “What?”

“How long will he be… undercover?”

Steve is behind you and pulls you back to rest against his chest. “We don’t know, Y/n. However long it takes.”

You can’t stop the tears as your heart breaks all over again.

[a-heart-inscribed]

It Evaded Me

Here is a prompt I started awhile back and just found the motivation to start writing again.

I had an idea about possibly turning this into a multi chapter but let me know if you’d like to see that.

Shameless. He was absolutely shameless as he stood there and let a ruthless smile spread across his face, looking down at the team. Your team. His eyes sparkled with a madness you hadn’t seen in years as he look over all of you assembled standing before him.

Your heart was racing and eyes burning with unshed tears and the sting from the smoke in the air around you. There was ash and shoot in the air and you knew it smudged your face.

Madness crackled in his words “Is this all you’ve got? ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’?”

“Loki! Enough!” Thor bellowed from beside you. “What are you doing, brother?”

“Ah, just what I do best. Betrayal is my calling card, is it not?” His eyes flashed over Tony at your side for a moment as he spoke before snapping back to his brother.

Swallowing and fighting back the ache in your chest you called out. “Loki, stop this. Please…”

If you didn’t know him so well you wouldn’t have seen the flash over his face at your words, though it was so fast even you couldn’t read it. “It’s too late for that, darling. Nothing personal.”

Thor sighed and cringed next to you but it barely registered as you shouted back. “Nothing personal? Nothing fucking PERSONAL?!” Magic snaped around your fingers as your hands balled into fists, one instinctively closing over the hilt of your sword.

Rolling his neck and one shoulder he shrugged. “It’s just business, Pet.”

The blood rushing in your ears drown out the shouts of you name mixed with a chorus of ‘no’s, ‘stop’s and ‘wait’s from the team around you. A shout ripped from your lips and you lunged forward, unsheathing the weapon at your side. Though they may have been trying to protest, you could make out your team leaping forward to follow your lead. Steve and Bucky soon made it level to your head start in the charge, you could feel Thor just behind you and hear as Tony took to the air on your other side. You couldn’t get a gage on the others but knew they would fall in line with the team.

Loki snickered and with a flick of his wrist called forward more enemy soldiers before fluidly moving down the steps himself. His movements where almost rhythmic as he moved directly at all of you, a staff materializing in one hand, short sword in the other, and his horned helmet upon his head.

You could hear the line of your team collide headfirst with enemies, battle sounds flaring up around you. In a move Loki himself had taught you, your forward attack turned into the momentum to slide under your opponent followed by a back stroke to the back of the soldier’s head with the hilt in you hand hard enough to knock them out. Turning quickly back to your now clear path to Loki, you could almost see pride shining under the crazed façade as he watched you, moving steadily in your direction.

He stopped a short distance from you, planting his feet in a wide stance to brace for your incoming assault. “Shall we dance, sweetheart?”

Your sword clashed into his as he blocked your swing. “Fuck you, Loki. I-”

His chuckle and counterattack threw you off, but you blocked in the nick of time and he nearly purred at you, “I believe you did just that. darling.”

The growl that ripped from your throat was almost feral and the hurt that flooded through you fueled your movements. You had trained with Loki frequently, you two often sparing with weapons and, as your magic developed, he had trained you to use your magic. The two of you were normally evenly matched and you knew the other’s style like the back of your hand, but you were gaining the upper hand in this moment.

“Y/n!” you heard Tony’s voice before the incoming blast from his suit. The blast hit between you and Loki and it sent you both reeling apart. Tony rarely missed when he was this close. If you didn’t know any better, you would have said the blast was targeted to break the two of you apart.

Using your legs to swing for momentum you flip yourself back to standing, facing Loki as he regains his bearings as well. You move fast, trying to get to him before he is totally oriented, but your attack is met with an easy parry.

Swinging again you end up in another deadlock, Loki’s face inches from yours, his blue eyes burning into yours. “After everything Loki, after you promised… You couldn’t give me any hint that this was where your mind was venturing? You promised you’d let me know so I could help before it got to this…”

His eyes flash and face fell a bit before he responds through clenched teeth, “Sorry, Love. It evaded me…”

Pushing him back a step to unlock your weapons you let your arms fall to your sides. “Please, Loki, stop this. If you stop this now maybe…” You couldn’t stop the tears from slipping from your eyes, slowly down your cheeks, “We can fix it. I’ll help you, just please stop this.”

His staff vanished from his hand and he lowered the sword in the other one as he stepped closer. “I-” his eyes roamed your face for a moment before he sighed. “I can’t, love.”

You had let him get too close and as his hand came shooting up you braced for an attack, trying to move to block it. His hand grasping the collar of your uniform surprised you and you looked up into his eyes again. “I can’t.” He breathed before he tugged you forward, and his lips crashed into yours.

It was familiar but so different. Over the course of your relationship with the God of Mischief you had shared many different types of kisses with him from heated and fast to slow and comforting. But this was desperate and pleading, as if he were trying to make you understand.

Then you felt it, the familiar brush of Loki’s mind and consciousness against yours. Both he and Wanda had worked with all of the team to learn to guard your minds against intruders. None of you had been practicing long and the training had proven futile less than an hour previously, so you were surprised. You knew Loki could force his way in like the others had, but this brush was tentative, asking permission for access. Instinctively you let down your wall to him but slammed the wall back up to prevent full access. He could speak to you, hear you respond, but his access to more than that was restricted unless he forced it.

He was in your mind as his lips moved urgently against yours. Talk to Stark. Force him to explain if you must. He has answers.

Loki? You responded back softly, another tear slipping out and down into your kiss.

Please, talk to Stark. His lips broke from yours and he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you with your eyes closed still. I love you, Y/n.

Loki… Your thoughts were laced with heartbreak as you spoke directly to his mind but before you could go on, he softly pulled his mind from yours. You could feel his hesitation before he blocked you from chasing him into his own mind, his walls more solid and unyielding than yours had ever been.

“Get ready to block, darling.” He whispered softly as your eyes opened back up to look into his.

Looking up this closely at him his eyes were clear, and you were looking into the eyes of the man you loved. It made your chest ache more. He gave you a sad smile before you watched the madness seep back in and cover him like a mask, his smile growing more sinister.

The normal volume to his voice almost made you jump compared to the intimacy previously. “For old times sake, sweetheart. But you will fail.” Suddenly he used the hand still clutching your collar to push you back before slowly raising his sword to point it at your chest and taking a fighting stance. “You will all fail.”

His slow movements had allowed you, though confused and conflicted, to ready yourself for his incoming assault. Again, your blades met, and it was back to the familiar dance of advance and retreat.

You found yourself in another stalemate, blades locked and face to face. At some point he had resummoned his staff, which he currently held behind him for balance. Mind racing you reached out with your magic, triggering his reflex to bring the staff forward in a way that let you slam your free hand down on his wrist before moving around to catch the staff as he released it.

Shock shown on his face as you swiped one of his legs out from under him with his staff, sending his staggering backwards and the onto his ass.

Looking up at you he cackled, “Impressive, but not enough.” His magic sparked through the air around you and suddenly he was on his feet again.

You raise the staff to throw, aiming for his legs so as not to harm him but bring him down. As you let it go, flying true, you are surprised when metal clangs and Steve’s shield crashes into the staff, knocking them both away from Loki.

Your eyes snap to Steve as he lands next to you, having jumped from somewhere nearby. “Damn, sorry Y/n. Bad timing with that throw.” He darts forward to grab his shield before you can respond, and you see something slip from his hand before ducking. He follows the movement by picking up his shield and the staff before dodging another swing from Loki.

Shaking your head, you cannot believe what you are seeing. Laying at Loki’s feet is the orb you know is one of the exact items you are trying to keep out of the hands of these enemies. Steve lands a punch to Loki’s face before Loki knocks him back, Steve falling at your feet.

You know you should go to the orb, but you instinctively crouch next to Steve. Loki is already scooping up the orb as you hold out your hand to Steve, pulling him until he is sitting up.

“Thank you for this, Captain. Now we can be done here.” Loki winks at the two of you before waving a hand and vanishing, followed shortly by the surrounding enemy soldiers.

You sigh and survey the damage around you, surprised at how minimal it is, all the focus must have been on your team. Still crouched next to Steve you look up and watch Tony descend and land in front of you as the rest of the team make their way to you.

“You alright, Cap?” Tony asks as his helmet pulls back.

Steve stood slowly, taking you by the hand so you stood with him. “Yeah. I’m fine. What about the others?”

“All good, Captain.” Peter replies as he lands beside you.

Looking around you took stalk. Nat is limping but standing, Scott and Thor look a little roughed up but alright, and Bucky was running a hand through his hair but fine. Your team looked fine and you wondered how the others were doing uptown.

“Did he get it?” Tony asks, looking directly at Steve.

“Yeah, he did.” Steve doesn’t sound like you’d expect, there is no disappointment in his tone.

“Good.” You whirl on Tony as the word comes out of his mouth.

“What?!” It sounds like a hiss through your teeth.

Peter bounces from foot to foot before speaking up. “Uh, Mr. Stark, but I thought the whole point was to keep the death orb away from you know… dangerous… um…” He glances at you before going on, “the bad guys?”

“Never mind kid. We should get back to the compound and discuss-”

“No!” You shout at him, tears in your eyes again. “Tony Stark you tell me what is going on NOW!”

Tony sighs and glances around. “This isn’t the time, Y/n.”

Your hands crackle with magic as you stalk forward and push him squarely on the chest. “He said… you’d have answers?! What the fuck is going on?!”

You felt a hand on your arm and looked up into Steve’s face, his helmet now removed too. “Not here, Y/n.”

Begrudgingly, you nod to Steve but turn back to Tony. “This isn’t over.”

The ride back with Steve on his motorcycle is quite as you think, confused and hurt. Steve has always been one of your closest friends on the team so, though you are mad at him for having some part in this, you spend the ride back with your cheek pressed against his back for comfort. When he pulls up to the compound and parks the bike, you don’t get off at first and leave your arms around Steve’s middle.

“Hey, Doll. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to.” You say, muffled into his back, as you tighten your hug. “It hurts.”

Sighing he puts a hand on yours on his chest. “We need to go talk to Tony. This… we new this was gonna hurt. Know I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“Steve, tell me what’s happening…”

He breaks your hold to get off the bike before helping you up and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “We need to brief the team.”

“I’m not just the team to him, Steve. At least I didn’t think…”

“You’re not, Y/n. You know that. This plan… It was Tony and Loki’s idea. Tony needs to explain.” He starts guiding you inside.

You are the last to get there, making you think Steve may have taken a bit of a longer route home to give you time to process. You hadn’t even noticed to be honest. Hugging him once more you separate yourself from Steve and he lets you move further into the room.

“Tony?” Your voice is softer than you meant, and he looks up to meet your eyes.

“Y/n. I’m sorry.” Tony was moving towards you as he spoke and stopped in front of you. “This was sort of a need-to-know plan and yo-”

The sound of your hand meeting his cheek echoes through the room that has gone totally silent. You can feel the eyes of everyone on you, but you stand tall. “And I didn’t need to know? Like hell I didn’t! Loki is-” Your voice cracks and you go to swing at Tony again, but he catches your wrist.

“I know. Trust me, I know. It wasn’t that you didn’t need to know. You couldn’t know.” Tony lowered your hand but still held it in his. “That was actually Loki’s stipulation. He knew they would try to go straight for you, into your mind, to check his loyalty to them. If you knew, it could have given him away. And he was right.”

You shudder, remembering the intrusion into your mind as you first stood against the alien army. It had taken longer than they thought thanks to Loki and Wanda’s training, but they had got in none the less. They hadn’t even tried to touch the others minds.

Shaking your head, you take it in. “He doubted me?”

“No.” Tony takes a few steps back to lean against the couch in the common room as he speaks. “But he knew they would throw everything they had at you because of how close to him you were. He blamed himself for not preparing you enough.”

“So he-” You shake your head yet again to keep your voice from breaking, “He’s what then? Undercover or something?”

With a sad smile Tony nods. “We needed an inside man. Desperately. Loki volunteered when I suggested we get one.” He ran his hand through his hair before going on. “We had to give them a reason to trust him. That was what today was about. Minimal destruction but make it look like we failed and Loki could deliver.”

“For how long?” You ask gently.

Tony seems confused, as if that wasn’t the question he was expecting. “What?”

“How long will he be… undercover?”

Steve is behind you and pulls you back to rest against his chest. “We don’t know, Y/n. However long it takes.”

You can’t stop the tears as your heart breaks all over again.

[a-heart-inscribed]

Champ

Your left cheek was throbbing and you felt as if the black eye you knew you’d have was already starting to form. Just add that to the list of aching shoulder, tender hip, a feeling of fire in your left knee, and jus overall full body fatigue. You were a wreck. And you didn’t think you could keep this up much longer.

As you rounded a corner towards the ongoing conflict you sighed and resigned yourself to the possibility of not making it out of this. As long as your presence gave the others even the slightest edge by claiming some of the enemies for yourself.

All of the training you had been doing recently with Bucky snapped back to the forefront as an adversary approached. How to hold your body, your hands, how to favor your injuries without giving them away all came rushing back.

“Alright, Champ. Let’s keep this up. Try a jab hook combo and follow it into the opening with an elbow.” Bucky coached from beside you.

Your eyes left those Steve who was in sparing position across from you and came out of your stance slightly to look at Bucky and huffed. “If he knows my next move, won’t he be able to block it? That’s why you had me start sparing with him right? Correct my form in real hand to hand?” He rose and eyebrow and shrugged, Steve grinning at you too. “See! I’ll never get an opening or an edge on Steve if he knows.”

“I think that’s the point.” Steve offered softly, not unkindly.

Bucky nodded. “First, it will build your endurance. Second, you need to learn how to come back from it when your enemy does predict your moves. Keep going.”

You sigh and fall back into your stance. “This is impossible.”

“Hey now. The fact that you can even keep up with Steve or me is a big deal. Come on, Champ. Keep it up.”

Endurance. Endurance and perseverance. That’s what Bucky had been building that day, that month, and was exactly what you needed now. So, you tapped into that reserve he had steadily built as another enemy soldier stepped into the place of the one you had just knocked out. After he went down you looked around. No, this wouldn’t end well for you.

But you had to see Bucky one more time, so you pushed on. Countless more injuries and downed opponents later, you find yourself on the edge of a cleared area, spying the team gathered inside planning. Before you can make your way to them you find yourself engaged hand to hand with three more soldiers.

They just kept coming, and you were no super soldier. In your peripheral vison you could see the team as they sprang, clearing away droves of enemies and whipping out the primary sources of their power. Which was a good thing for the city though it didn’t make a difference as the three men around you closed in tight.

A clean hick to the back of your injured knee had you down on said knee in a moment. You landed an elbow in a sensitive area to the opponent behind you, bringing them to the ground with you. When you were yanked back a bit by your hair and found yourself looking up at your other opponent’s grin, your heart fluttered and stomach turned. This was it, all you had left.

But as a foot collided with your ribs the hand it your hair slackened then disappeared. The man in front of you grunted and you heard the familiar sounds of a fist fight as you tried to catch your breath and clear the black from your vision. As the fighting around you quieted and you managed to look up you found just the person you were looking for.

Bucky stood looking down at you, a small smile on his face. “Hey, Champ. Need a hand?”

You nodded as he helped pull you to your feet and supported you as your vision swam. “Thanks, Buck. I didn’t think I was making it out of that one. Sorry I’m keeping you from helping.”

Bucky sighed and tucked you under an arm against him, slowly leading you towards the field med bay Dr. Strange had set up. “The fight is basically over. We didn’t take hits from this side like we expected so that freed us up to take care of a lot more. When I realized why… I came to help.”

“Sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“Are you kidding?” Bucky stops you both and moves to look at you. “You did amazing! Do you even know how many you took out? And how much help that was?”

He reads the doubt in your eyes before he shakes his head. “I found the next thing we need to work on, Champ. Your confidence.”

Slowly as if not to frighten you, Bucky leans in and places a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, to slow and gentle to be chase but reserved enough to not scare you off.

“You did good today, Champ. You belong here, with the team. With me.”

His eyes are warm and inviting, albeit a little nervousness can be found there as he again starts to lead you to a medic.

“Buck?”

He pauses again to look down at you, more nervous than before.

“Thank you. For believing in me.” You weave your hand into his and the nervousness vanishes.

“No problem, Champ.”

[a-heart-inscribed]

Wind

Wind. The God forsaken flipping wind kept hitting you in small bursts as you walked the city streets, tousling your clothes and flinging you hair into your face. New York had been your home for years so you would have thought you’d be used to it, but you still swore under your breath as it gusted again. This crisp day in late fall was no different but the chill of this wind held the promise of winter coming.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been an such an issue if it wasn’t today of all days. The weather yesterday, when you had proposed your current outing, the weather had been perfect. Now as you tugged your jacket a little tighter around you and you fought to keep the chill from seeping into your bones, you couldn’t help but second guess yourself.

The steady, familiar footsteps right behind you didn’t help and your stomach fluttered a bit as you picked up the pace to near your next destination.

“Are we in such a rush, little one? I thought the point of today was to help me enjoy this Midgardian city. To ‘see the sites’ as it were.” The humor in his lithe sent a tingle up your spine and you could hear the grin on his face.

Turning your head to look back over your shoulder you took in the sharp suit, dress jacket, neat scarf, and pristine hairstyle of your companion. Not a thing out of place. That tingle up your spine quickly turned into bristling as you grumbled your annoyance under your breath.

Out loud you said, “Well, yes and Lo-” but you were caught off guard by the wind picking up and you ending up with a mouth full of hair instead of words.

There was a dark chuckle as you sputtered and spat hair out. “Alright, let’s keep moving then.” His words are almost a purr.

You blush before continuing on, fidget with your clothes and trying to tidy your hair. You’d been trying to get over all the crush on the man now rambling along with you, through your city, for a couple months now. This was clearly a very poor idea to assist in that regard.

Several quite minutes later you were stepping into one of your favorite local joints. The bookstore and café had a quaint second floor area with a stunning view of central park this time of year. You try not to let out the sigh of relief that rolls up in you at the reprieve from the wind as you step inside. The smirk you receive as you make toward the stair lets you know you were unsuccessful.

“You know, if you wanted to get out of the wind so badly you could have said something.” You roll your eyes at him as you climb the stairs, but when you stop just past the top, you felt him move in close behind you. “I mean, you know I didn’t mind. It seemed you were a bit put off by the assumed unkemptness it caused but honestly, darling,” He had moved the two of you slowly away from the stairs, closer to the window, and as he stopped he spun you slowly to face him, “it didn’t lessen your appeal.”

You swallowed weakly, “Loki?”

There was a flicker of something in his eyes at the sound of his name on your lips and one of his arms slipped around you, his hand finding the small of your back. He looked to your lips and leaned in but paused a few inches from you with a mischievous smile creeping across his lips. A second later you felt the thrum of his magic pulse before a soft contained wind snapped at you, tossing your coat around your thighs and flicking hair back into your face.

“Loki Odinson!” You growled.

His dark chuckle filled the wind around you before the wind died as you felt the fingers on his free hand against your skin, brushing the hair out of your eyes. “Ah yes, see. That’s the spirit.”

You meant to respond, frustration bubbling in your chest, but then his lips were on yours and his fingers were tangled in your hair. You growled again, into his mouth, but deepened the kiss, your own hands going to his hair. His responding chuckle rumbled through your body as he was pressed to you still, lips a tangle with yours.

Oh, Gods above, this. This was surely worth a little wind.

[a-heart-inscribed]

Day Eleven and a Heartbeat

Everything was wrong. So, so wrong. It was supposed to be a simple mission for Natasha, Steve, Wanda, and you, the newest Avenger. One day in, one to two on the ground, one day out. Four days tops.

Today was day eleven. Day eleven.

You hadn’t seen the others since day three when extraction had gone wrong. You didn’t want to think about the jet coming down out of the sky, flames erupting through the forest, and sleeper agents swarming your small group. Wanda and Natasha had stuck together, back to back, fighting them off. You and Steven, however, had been separated right away.

The two other women had taken care of the unit around them and bolted for safety at Steve’s order for the rest of you to run. It had taken you longer to give up trying to get back to him. You had been partnered up, one tactical fighter and one magician, and you were his magic wielder. You fought hard to get to him, but they kept coming and when he met your eyes and saw you wouldn’t leave him, he acted. Steve had paused for a moment and you could swear you saw him sigh before her turned for himself and ran the opposite direction of you, taking the majority of the enemies remaining with him.

The majority, but not all. The few left to you surrounded you. It appeared they had assigned number of soldiers to each of you based on perceived threat and as you were the newest and most unknown, you had gotten the smallest unit. They had underestimated you. Big mistake.

It had taken you a bit to dispatch them all and a bit longer to calm your breathing and gather your wits. When you finally did, you were utterly alone as snow drifted down around you in the wood, covering all traces of the others moving out. You had tried to track the girls but failed and doubled back to try and track Steve. That had gone better but after a while signs of battle stopped and the steady snow eliminated the other signs before too long.

The snow had been a bit of a nuisance and blessing. Your magic helped you stay warm, you built little fires and such and melted snow into water. Food was an issue. It was day eleven and you hadn’t eaten since day three. You could go for around thirteen more days, but hunger would make it hard to do magic in around three more.

Not knowing what was out here in the forest, you opted to keep moving. You would have stayed put if your Stark tracer and com where still working but they had been damaged in the battle and snow. So, you worked your way in the direction Steve had headed, a little at a time. You were about to break to make a fire and make some water when you risked the energy use and sent out another pulse of magic to scan the area for safety. What came back made you freeze to consider. About 2500 feet ahead and to the left was a soft heat signature, unmoving, low to the ground, and not nearly as hot as the two heat signatures about 1000 yards out from that moving towards it.

Calculating was eating up valuable time. Those had to be humans moving through the woods, but what were they headed to? Maybe hunters had killed a game animal and you could beg for some scraps. Or maybe…

As soon as his name crossed your mind you were on the move. Thankful for Bucky’s training and your magic mixing together, you crossed the half mile faster than normal humans could manage. You approached and slowed to scan the area, without magic this time to save your energy, and then saw it. The lump in two days’ worth of snow fall. And sticking out of it was a familiar shield. Steve.

You make it to him as two people break the tree line and sneer at you. “So, we caught the little flame and found the body of the Captain. Wont the others be pleased.”

Body. The body. It’s then you notice the blood stains in the snow you disrupted around him. But her gave off a heat signature still. He couldn’t be… not dead. No.

The two men circled you and you felt yourself getting dizzy from the energy use of getting here so fast. They attack when they notice, trying to keep you from getting your bearings. It’s a hard fight, much harder than two opponents should be, as your magic sputters, doesn’t respond the way you are used to, and ultimately fails. You result to pulling Steve’s shield from him, as you had kept your position between the two of them and Steve. The training you’d had with the teamwork and finally you are on your knees next to Steve, the two of them unconscious behind you.

You find Steve’s com and tracker in the front of his uniform and page for help as your vision starts to go black around the edges. Slowly you lay your head to his chest. If your going to pass out at least it’s here with him.

At once you hear several things. The hum of a quinjet pulses through the air, as if they had been searching and finally had a beacon to home in on. Then there is a whoosh that sounds like the iron man suit in the distance and yelling of yours and Steve’s names. Your team.

Then you hear the best thing of all. A heartbeat. Steve’s heartbeat. It’s steady and strong under your ear and the relief that flood through you welcomes the blackness of unconsciousness.

[a-heart-inscribed]

Day Eleven and a Heartbeat

Everything was wrong. So, so wrong. It was supposed to be a simple mission for Natasha, Steve, Wanda, and you, the newest Avenger. One day in, one to two on the ground, one day out. Four days tops.

Today was day eleven. Day eleven.

You hadn’t seen the others since day three when extraction had gone wrong. You didn’t want to think about the jet coming down out of the sky, flames erupting through the forest, and sleeper agents swarming your small group. Wanda and Natasha had stuck together, back to back, fighting them off. You and Steven, however, had been separated right away.

The two other women had taken care of the unit around them and bolted for safety at Steve’s order for the rest of you to run. It had taken you longer to give up trying to get back to him. You had been partnered up, one tactical fighter and one magician, and you were his magic wielder. You fought hard to get to him, but they kept coming and when he met your eyes and saw you wouldn’t leave him, he acted. Steve had paused for a moment and you could swear you saw him sigh before her turned for himself and ran the opposite direction of you, taking the majority of the enemies remaining with him.

The majority, but not all. The few left to you surrounded you. It appeared they had assigned number of soldiers to each of you based on perceived threat and as you were the newest and most unknown, you had gotten the smallest unit. They had underestimated you. Big mistake.

It had taken you a bit to dispatch them all and a bit longer to calm your breathing and gather your wits. When you finally did, you were utterly alone as snow drifted down around you in the wood, covering all traces of the others moving out. You had tried to track the girls but failed and doubled back to try and track Steve. That had gone better but after a while signs of battle stopped and the steady snow eliminated the other signs before too long.

The snow had been a bit of a nuisance and blessing. Your magic helped you stay warm, you built little fires and such and melted snow into water. Food was an issue. It was day eleven and you hadn’t eaten since day three. You could go for around thirteen more days, but hunger would make it hard to do magic in around three more.

Not knowing what was out here in the forest, you opted to keep moving. You would have stayed put if your Stark tracer and com where still working but they had been damaged in the battle and snow. So, you worked your way in the direction Steve had headed, a little at a time. You were about to break to make a fire and make some water when you risked the energy use and sent out another pulse of magic to scan the area for safety. What came back made you freeze to consider. About 2500 feet ahead and to the left was a soft heat signature, unmoving, low to the ground, and not nearly as hot as the two heat signatures about 1000 yards out from that moving towards it.

Calculating was eating up valuable time. Those had to be humans moving through the woods, but what were they headed to? Maybe hunters had killed a game animal and you could beg for some scraps. Or maybe…

As soon as his name crossed your mind you were on the move. Thankful for Bucky’s training and your magic mixing together, you crossed the half mile faster than normal humans could manage. You approached and slowed to scan the area, without magic this time to save your energy, and then saw it. The lump in two days’ worth of snow fall. And sticking out of it was a familiar shield. Steve.

You make it to him as two people break the tree line and sneer at you. “So, we caught the little flame and found the body of the Captain. Wont the others be pleased.”

Body. The body. It’s then you notice the blood stains in the snow you disrupted around him. But her gave off a heat signature still. He couldn’t be… not dead. No.

The two men circled you and you felt yourself getting dizzy from the energy use of getting here so fast. They attack when they notice, trying to keep you from getting your bearings. It’s a hard fight, much harder than two opponents should be, as your magic sputters, doesn’t respond the way you are used to, and ultimately fails. You result to pulling Steve’s shield from him, as you had kept your position between the two of them and Steve. The training you’d had with the teamwork and finally you are on your knees next to Steve, the two of them unconscious behind you.

You find Steve’s com and tracker in the front of his uniform and page for help as your vision starts to go black around the edges. Slowly you lay your head to his chest. If your going to pass out at least it’s here with him.

At once you hear several things. The hum of a quinjet pulses through the air, as if they had been searching and finally had a beacon to home in on. Then there is a whoosh that sounds like the iron man suit in the distance and yelling of yours and Steve’s names. Your team.

Then you hear the best thing of all. A heartbeat. Steve’s heartbeat. It’s steady and strong under your ear and the relief that flood through you welcomes the blackness of unconsciousness.