Made a new account @a-lot-like-gavin - Tumblr Blog

Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-

Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?

gundambarbatos

Black Friday is over and my manager slapped me with $10,000

jui-ci-fer

reblog the money gamestop to get beat over the head with cash

dustinteractive

If writing utensils could talk

mangobisexual

“religion is not inherently homophobic/transphobic and religious lgbt people deserve to practice their religion without hate”

and

“many lgbt people have had negative experiences with the church/ religion itself and deserve to respectfully distance themselves from religion, and are under no obligation to give it a try”

are two ideas that can coexist

icouldhavecats

britishpike

“Listen here you nature loving fuck”

thisishangingrockcomics-deactiv

someone-inconspicuous

warriorsatthedisco

Its called the Death Waltz, and was written as a joke but people have attempted it on piano.

earth-horn-blog

Saxes move downstage.

glitchyghostboy

I’ll just leave this here.

tyleroakley

SWEET JESUS CLICK THAT

endoshan

spoopy-eneko

the added directions are great. ‘insert peanuts’ ‘gradually become irritated’ ‘cresc., or not’ ‘untie slip knot’ ‘bow real fast, slippage may occur’

ebi-chi

Release the penguins

princebxte-deactivated20151102

Oh I got a shirt with this on it, and people would endlessly stare at it

sasstablook

duck

hammerings-deactivated20230414

boss stage music

uwannagom8

Always reblog the Death Waltz. Always.

tricksterbae

LIKE A DIRIGIBLE

backatthebein

That was beautiful

mjalti

my plan is to jog in a zip code where the average house is $1 million dollars. i jog everyday. i run into the trophy wives jogging club. we jog past each other so often, they’re forced to interact with me. we’re friends now. i’m invited places. i meet other millionaires, men who love me. i marry the richest, using an alias. throughout the first year of marriage, i’m moving assets and cash to an off shore bank account. i fake my own death on our anniversary. he’s heartbroken.

i started jogging in a new million dollar neighborhood. i’ve just made friends with the local jogging crew headed by ashtonlynn and brotyna “chichi” who has a single millionaire brother,

eclipticzero

Is there any version of this plan where I don’t have to jog

mjalti

u only have to jog past the ladies which is like 46 seconds. suck it up for the fraud of it all

tastefullyoffensive

yugirimistwalker

kinda fucked up that we’ve not only already had 4 months this year but we’re starting a 5th… looks like 2017 is the year of months

yugirimistwalker

lads you are not gonna fucking believe this

languages-georg-blog

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”