sleep

🇸🇬

[a-lveolate]

today i’m feeling defeated like you can’t ever win this game no matter how hard you try

[a-lveolate]

why did my mum brought me into this world to suffer. did she knew or not knew about the struggles that id have to face? i feel we are no different from livestock animals. we were raised with care, well fed, and sheltered from harm, only to slaughtered in the end by the very hand that feeds us

[a-lveolate]

all i do is cry, even babies don’t even cry this much. i cry because there’s nothing much that i can do. i feel like im just here to suffer. life breaks people, all the suffering endured is pointless and meaningless. I keep asking myself “Why should I keep living when I didn’t sign up for life in the first place?”

Why should I keep living?

Why?

why should I?

I keep searching for an answer. But I couldn’t find any.

[a-lveolate]

my covid experience and progression timeline

Onset symptoms

Saturday - Sore throat and headache. took a panadol and slept it off 💊

Sunday - sore throat, headache and mild cough 😭😭😭 so painful whenever you swallow ur saliva, it felt like swallowing blade… did ART test. it was negative for all 🔪 🔪 🔪

Monday - sore throat, severe headaches, diarrhoea, phlegm, tummy ache. went to see the polyclinic. got some medications. severe body aches, fever dreams, I kept dreaming of the same thing over and over again. Like i was trapped, i had to keep answering yes or no. and each time the answer was yes? and I could see there’s like ten of me. so weird. the headaches got progressively worse. the cough also got worse!! i kept coughing non stop till i gag or i can’t breathe… I tested positive for covid in the evening. 🦠 🧟‍♀️

Tuesday - fever, cough, headaches, body aches? fever come and go. i couldn’t sleep. kept coughing non stop, runny nose, everything hurts. itchy nose, itchy eyes 37.9. the symptoms keep returning whenever the panadol wears off

Wednesday - sneezing and coughing and dripping mucus!!!! 🤧 went back to the polyclinic to request for extension for mc and runny nose meds, fever 37.9

[vintage-tigre]

[perfectfeelings]

“Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you feel something’s wrong, it usually is.”

— Unknown

[a-lveolate]

my parents brought me into this world and i have to endure a lifetime of pain and suffering. wheres the justice in this? don’t I have any say in this?

[a-lveolate]

i’m struggling to understand what exactly is the appeal of life

[bpderanged]

Of course I'm a failure I attempted suicide and FAILED multiple times

[a-lveolate]

all these years, i’ve been discounting people’s actions, behaviour, just so they could walk away freely.

[konoko]

ko-fi

[a-lveolate]

theres no medication that can fix me

[a-lveolate]

bringing a child into this world is like recommending someone a movie without watching it fully

[a-lveolate]

"I feel like I can no longer stand people who are cheerful and happy. Because it seems too fake to me. Like what are you even so happy about..?"

[konoko]

i've been convincing myself for 11 months that it's just a bad day

[remanence-of-love]

[marypickfords]

OL bôkô: Yogosu! (Hisayasu Satô, 1986)