Princess of hell

*She*Gay**Taken* Just a really tired gay

[kiwi]

[pr1nceshawn]

Worst Case vs. Best Case Scenarios by Karina Farek.

[castorochiaro]

This is a great joke, but it’s also a wonderful strategy for reducing anxiety that I learned about in therapy. If you’re ever nervous about something, just ask yourself: what’s the best thing that can happen? What’s the worst thing? What will most likely happen?

It does wonders for your nerves, really does.

[paperparachute]

My counsellor walks me through this all the time and it works??

[rindeservedbetter-deactivated20]

[fire-is-her-water]

My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.

[merak-zoran]

[caviria]

[malkiewicz]

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

[istudypirates]

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

[antiuwuaction-deactivated201804]

It’s called connotations.

[leggyboyjohnson]

Try this one on for size:

“Forgive me, Father, I have sinned”

“Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

[helaas--pindakaas]

great news! Language is now banned

[struggletoast]

[sushinfood]

you found him and he is proud of you

[coconabe]

Unmute please!

[babyanimalgifs]

[adeles]

if this ain’t me

[thatsthat24]

The Strange World of Car Commercials 🚗

[cismisandrist-hate-crimes]

(captions because yeah.

Thomas Voiceover: The all new, 2018 Vroom-Vroom Supreme is so luxurious and so smooth, you’ll hardly notice not a single other car seems to be present on the road, or that you seem to be in the middle of nowhere. Why do all car commercials look like this? Oh well, at least the car looks good, right?

Thomas: WHERE… IS EVERYBODY?!?)

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

tumblrs demographic: 13-25 year olds

tumblr ads: want a reverse mortgage when you retire? no? how about a whole box of werther’s originals for 25 percent off? check out this nursing home

[taquito]

*gets asked about my future*

[sheholdsyoucaptivated]

[queenamidalas-deactivated201711]

[yousaytheydontcare-blog]

[cunyfirst]

scandalous

[the-gingerdancer]

 i will reblog this as many times as it takes me to stop finding this funny

[normalwizard]

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

[normalwizard]

this thing is one of the most dangerous predators in north america, is bulletproof, and could kill me in milliseconds without breaking a sweat and just. look at his big ole paws and his big ole nose. his wittle ears. i wuv him

[normalwizard]

human brain: bear will kill you

monkey brain: hehe fluffie

[lesbeans-on-toast]

hows this for a hot take…..depression humour isnt actually that funny

its incredibly boring and annoying to hang out with ppl who do nothing but say how much they hate themselves. grow past it

ur life will get better bc ppl will actually enjoy ur company and u wont be making them uncomfortable anymore

[lesbeans-on-toast]

im not saying this to sound superior either bc i have Been That Person but ever since i. stopped doing it i have much healthier and more enjoyable interactions

i know its hard to drag urself out of that mentality but its not ~~~neurotypical, karen uwu~~~ or whatever to do what u can to help urself live more positively

[heterophobiclesbean]

i hope u dont mind me adding on to this post but like

the recovery mindset is hard as fuck and no one is saying its easy but like. if all u do is sit around and be miserable and make things harder for urself of course u arent gonna get better. i know depression jokes might help in the moment but it wont do jack shit for you in the long term.

do you really wanna get better? because it takes work. not that just surviving and functioning w depression but ur mental illness isnt gonna go away by itself hun.