Untitled

[a-redpanda]

And now, I no longer know if I wish to drown myself in love, vodka, or the sea

[a-redpanda]

You once wished for poetry.

You were my "pillars of creation",

Distant but yet so beautiful.

The ever giving light.

Filled my lungs with every breath.

Gave me hydrogen that made me feel lighter.

All of my belonging was for, and, because of you.

Na razie

Ja ciebie tez

[a-redpanda]

I will never be somebody else's.

I will always be entirely your's

Or completely my own.

There is nothing else

That I will find beyond you and I.

[a-redpanda]

"Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference"

[a-redpanda]

How brave your

heart must be to

never have turned

cold, to never

blame the pain

and use it to hurt

other souls, how

brave your heart

must be to watch

the fire die and

want to give it

love, time after

time

[a-redpanda]

I could have, and should have, been better for you, our daughters, and most importantly, for myself.

I'm sorry for not listening to you in the times you needed it most.

I'm sorry for leaving that night and not returning until morning with your brother in December 2022.

I'm sorry for answering work queries when I should have spent time with you and our daughters.

I'm sorry for not switching off my phone.

I'm sorry for not being the man you needed and drove me to be.

I'm sorry... I never put you first like you deserve

I'm sorry you didn't find peace

But I wish for you to find peace, now.

You deserve that, at least.

You are, and were, fantastic.

Moj Wzystko

[a-redpanda]

I knew I liked you when you made me nervous and my heart would beat faster when I saw you.

I knew I loved you when I felt calmer with you than without you.

[a-redpanda]

You'll be fine.

Greater than that

[a-redpanda]

If you were the rain

I would never open an umbrella

Instead, I would lay down

On the cold concrete and

enjoy every drop that lays on my skin

If you were the rain,

I would lay there

even if it meant I drowned in you.

I wish, more than anything, to drown in you.

Moj Wzystko

[a-redpanda]

I will be sand if you want me to be sand.

I will slip through your fingers, I will

wash away each night when the tide comes in,

I will fall apart just after you've built dreams with me.

I will be sand if you want me to be sand

But for what it's worth,

I wanted to be something more.

[a-redpanda]

"You cannot love her", they whisper

"For it is a sin"

I only smile at their words

Knowing that they have not knelt at her altar,

Nor the divinity staining her lips .

They have not heard her giggles murmured between every kiss

"So be it then" I say.

"I will walk into hell gladly knowing I've held heaven in my hands"

[lonergirlmonologue]

"i wonder if we ever think of each other at the same time."

[midnightportals]

I hate the space between us.

[a-redpanda]

I can only love what I place so high above me that I can no longer reach it

[a-redpanda]

I like being alone

but that is why I know you were different.

because for the first time ever, I wanted someone else's company more than my own

[brandybegins]

“They will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if I love you, and I will say no, but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh.”

—

[a-redpanda]

For all that it's worth now, you were worth it in the end.

For all of your worth, I would lapse and fall again.

For all that it's worth, I would have loved you until the end.

But I'm cold in your heart while you are branded into mine.