Taciturnip

diary of a selectively social turnip

[a-taciturnip-blog]

Good luck with that

I believe in Karma and that Karma is a bitch. A co-worker has been complaining a lot lately that she doesn't like being assigned in the office anymore. That people are stressing the hell out of her because of their inappropriate behavior. Well, let me tell you, bitch. First, YOU were the one who let them believe you're an easy girl in the first place with the way you act towards certain people in the office. YOU let them believe you engaged in shit like that so you really can't blame them. Second, if you really are uncomfortable with the unwanted attention you get from them, why not tell them directly instead of blabbering about it everyday. If you can't do that, WHY MIND IT SO MUCH??? It's not like they are physically harassing you. Just focus on your job and forget the rest. Third, for the love of God and all that is holy you of all people have the nerve to complain about your tasks? Like, are fucking serious? Out of the three of us, you had the easiest job!!! I can do your job in my sleep and fucking ace it. Your job doesn't even require a quarter of the brain prower I put into my own tasks. You are argue that among the three of us you have the lowest salary and that you're not compensated enough to do tasks that are out of the job description. Well, are we compensated enough? I for example do tasks that aren't part of my job description. Frankly, where in the whole country can you find a job that pay you ten thousand bucks just for staring at the computer, look out for messages, copy and print it. Tell me, WHERE??? You've been complaining a lot lately and now, finally, you got what you asked for. You're finally assigned in a different office. You were taken to fill up a post that is different from your current tasks. Now, let me tell you, GOOD LUCK. That fast forward order will bite you in the ass one of these days. Being a secretary is not easy shit. That one requires brain power and patience that I know, from the year we worked together, you lacked so fucking big time. Don't say I didn't warned you, okay? See you around.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

This is it! I surrender it all to you, Lord. You know I did not do anything wrong and was just following orders. Thy will be done.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

Smart Girl Problems

Sometimes I wish my brain would not catch up to the lesson right off the bat and pretend I don't know how things work so that Sir Crush would go to my table and teach me the lesson step by step. That he would stand behind me and maybe we would both grab the mouse at the same time and accidentally held hands for just a few seconds. Damn you, brain. It's hard enough to have a love life without you interfering.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

SHIT JUST GOT REAL

I received my first ever subpoena. Like fucking seriously, I’m a criminal now! My parents must be so proud!

With the receipt of such document comes the realization that no matter how strict you follow the rules and how decent you live your life, people will always bring you down. I can’t even begin to describe how unfair this whole shit is. I was new to the job and I accepted all tasks given to me not knowing that all hell will break loose months later. What’s even more unfair is that I was just following orders and the people who gave me the direct order are not included in the case. They even have the nerve to make fun of me and my colleague when they should be the one facing this shit right now. What the fucking fuck! Don’t even get me started with the one person who betrayed all of us. She has the nerve to give out our names when she is one of the people who benefitted from it. I know full well she did that to spite the official she hated so she could have the last laugh. Well fuck her!!!  She of all people should be the one getting an admin case because she is one fucking lazy bitch who couldn’t do her job properly. I’m fucking angry because she got promoted so fast when all she ever did was sit, gossip, sleep and boss her way around the office.  I am so glad she’s not among the team anymore.

WHAT’S REALLY UNFAIR is that I work overtime, people invade my privacy at the wee hours in the morning and on weekends, the Chief who replaced the one who got us into this mess is an A grade asshole and I do tasks that are meant for three people. That right there is what makes me angry. I’ve given so much for the station and the people I work with don’t even care. They didn’t even help us prepare our counter affidavit when in the first place they are the one who put us into this mess. I AM SO ANGRY!!! I WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE!!!

I don’t even care what the outcome will be. Quite frankly I am so ready to leave my post in that blasted station. If the ruling body decides to suspend me or expel me from the service I am ready. I’d be glad to accept whatever sanctions I receive just don’t expect me to do shit for undeserving. I’ve had enough.

This is what I got for being nice. No wonder good people turn to the dark side.

I feel you, Darth Vader!

[a-taciturnip-blog]

Scared

I'm so scared right now. So scared that in the following days it will fall out and I'd be embarrassed in front of my co-worker and friends. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of the outcome and even more scared to know the consequences. I'm really seriously scared right now. I can't think straight and can't even sleep. Omg.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

Dear Monster Boss,

Just because I am single doesn't mean you have the right to intentionally forget and sometimes refuse to give me my dues. You always argued that I don't need it because my salary is more than enough for me. That the bitch of a coworker needs it more because she has children to support. Bullshit! I worked my butt off to accomplish my tasks with no help from others. I can't even count how many times I worked over time when she didn't even once stayed for more than an hour after five o'clock. We got hired for the same position but you give me designations that are meant to be for three people. When she couldn't do her tasks on time you ordered me to help her. That's fucking unfair. And now you give her dues and not me? That's just plain fucked up. Now don't expect me to do tasks that aren't mine to begin with. I've been nice for so long and you took advantage. Well, I've got some news, asshole! I've reached my limits. Find someone else to be your servant. Better yet, give her all my tasks. Anyway, she's the one receiving all the dues that are meant for me. From now on, you go kiss each other's ass. I hope both of you don't get promoted. You fucking deserve it.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

It's time to let go.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

[a-taciturnip-blog]

of group chats and growing apart

I was scrolling through a group chat on facebook and reading the exchange of my friends where I usually don’t join because I don’t have anything to say. I can’t really relate to their topics which alternate between their love lives and their travels. I don’t have a boyfriend and I don’t travel so that makes me useless. So yeah, I was reading through their messages when I came across a certain message that says something like “what’s the story on the other chat room?..”. That gave me pause and then prompted me to think that there must be another chat room that I’m not a part of which led me to think that they must have purposely left me out of that room because of who I am as a person; the always absent during outings and gatherings, the one who does not reply to chats, the one who is generally an anti-social. - that’s the reality I am in now. After so many years of neglecting my duty as a friend, they’re starting to let go of me, they’re already excluding me in their plans. The very group that I help built back then is now turning its back on me. Ouch! They must have a blast talking behind my back every time they gather together.

Then it led me to the thought of letting them go for good. I can’t really relate to them now. Distance has brought us apart, literally. So maybe it is okay to cut ties with them. The things that brought us together had began to loose its hold on our friendship. I feel it in my bones. We now have new circle of friends and we have different perspective now. So I guess it’s okay to let go now.

Will it offend them if I suddenly leave the fb group chat? Will they take the hint and let me move on with my life so they can move on with theirs?

[a-taciturnip-blog]

This image spoke to me on a different level. To use a very popular meme this image hit me "right in the feels". This image reminds me of connections that my Father and I doesn't have and will never have because life has made both our hearts turn into stone. That I can never trust men because it was my Father who broke my heart in the first place. He was the reason I will never believe in the passionate, all-consuming kind of love. "...at least one man in the world who will never hurt her." --- I guess most girls believe in that but I'm not one of them. My father chose to break my heart when I was still very young and I was tooweak then to protect it. Huh, talk about father issues.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

I will never be sorry. I've been a good co-worker to you since day one, I even help you with some of your tasks and you pay it by bullying me? No, bitch. I've had enough. And to think I've done you a favor by keeping that item when I can easily refuse it. From now, expect nothing from me... I'm no saint I can be as bitchy as you are. PS You're not pretty even with make up. I can't comprehend why you have a boyfriend. I wonder if he's just using you for money.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

According to this I have (1) Monachopsis, (2) Mauerbauertraurigkeit, (3) Jouska, (4) Anecdoche, (5) Liberosis and (6) Altschmerz. Wow, that's a lot.

[a-taciturnip-blog]

Sometimes I think my brain is too big for me to handle. Too many thoughts run inside my head at the same time it's a wonder I don't get headaches on a daily basis.