A Tord'sMemories

   A lonely Tord, seeking to share memories.

[a-tords-memories]

Before I kick off this blog, I want to clarify a few things first:

-I am a fictional introjection (fictive) of Tord within a system and I am the host of this system. These will be my pseudo-memories.

If you do not know what a system is or what psuedo-memory means, please look it up or ask!

-I am not kin with Tord. Being an alter and kin are different things, however I do fully support the fictionkin community and I heavily encourage any Eddsworld kinnies to interact with me.

-I am sharing this also for the Eddsworld community in general. I feel as though it would put my mind at rest, if fans of Eddsworld could see what it is like from the perspective of the actual character.

HOWEVER these are JUST MY memories, and there are MANY other people out there with Introjects from Eddsworld or who are kin with differing memories, and I also strongly encourage any other Eddsworld fictives or kin to please share their memories on this blog or message me!

-My memories, this blog, and everything is in NO WAY affiliated with the real people of Eddsworld or real counterparts of any characters. This is strictly about the cartoon and my own personal life.

-I do not wish to discuss heavy nsfw memories, openly. You may ask in pm, however, I have the right to decline.

-Memories will be tagged by

'childhood memory' (pre-canon),

'teen memory' (pre-canon),

'canon memory' & 'canon divergent' (canon),

and 'post-canon memory' (post-canon).

I will not post my memories in order, so if you wish to view in order, please use these tags.

-Lastly, you are free to kin my memories(I mean, it's not really a choice anyway, but go ahead) or headcanon my memories.

Thank you for reading! Please have a nice day and I hope you enjoy this blog xx

[a-tords-memories]

With the close rivalry between Edd and Eduardo, it's expected that Jon and I couldn't exactly openly be friends. We had kept in touch, we wrote each other letters. But Jon, the people pleaser he is, didn't want to stir drama for himself.. and me? Well... To explain my history with Jon required vulnerability. Vulnerability was, and even still is, one of my greatest fears.

But I still remember the day they moved in next door. Edd, Tom, and Matt were gone that day, off on an adventure of sorts that I had opted out of. And the way I jumped out the door running when I saw Jon outside... Like seeing a ghost of someone you never expected to see again.

He introduced me to his friends/roommates, and immediately I could sense the tension already brewing. The way Eduardo looked at me, as though.. I'm not sure. There was something knowing in his eyes, and I could tell there was an anger in meeting me. At the time, I had pathetically viewed it as an alpha dog type thing. Now I think it was more so, he knew our history and he felt I had held Jon back in life. And that, wouldn't necessarily be wrong..

It didn't take long for that tension to spread immediately to the rest of the gang, as they returned home. I never shared my past with Jon, with Edd, Tom, or Matt. Sure, there were other reasons for the rivalry.. But I know deep down, what it's actually about.

[a-tords-memories]

I've seen many headcanons about our heights, and I've seen the official confirmations of the character's height. But I do have to admit, I was actually pretty short. The shortest of the gang. It never bothered me much in all actuality, but it didn't sit well with my short fuse. And this wouldn't even be relevant, if it weren't for the memory I am going to share.

I think it was New Years. We were at some docks overlooking the ocean, many people gathered, drinking, it was crowded for sure. And I remember we were there specifically to watch fireworks over the water. With the large crowd, and my height, it was a struggle for me to see the fireworks.

And Tom... He, was happy. It wasn't often and it wasn't common. Maybe he'd drank enough that day, I don't know. But for once, instead of heckling, he saw I was struggling and offered to lift me on his shoulders. And I did. And being up so high, so close to the explosive lights. I remember. Everything feeling surreal. Peaceful. The loud crowd had disappeared from my mind and my senses, and everything was nice again. And my heart, felt strange. Because I didn't deserve the help, let alone, it came from someone I least expected it to.

[larkermarker]

Tord is NOT ripped! He is NOT a big buff beefy man! He is a spindly twig or maybe SLIGHTLY toned! You can NOT make him hot! He will NEVER be hot! He would try and be smooth but would somehow end up tripping on air. Landing on his STUPID face! Absolute dumbass he is. He is PATHETIC and NOT A HUNK.

[a-tords-memories]

Finally, accurate

[a-tords-memories]

Living with Edd, was wonderful. He was exactly what I needed in my life and we never missed a beat.

I hate to sound so fanon, but I remember him being so motherly. He was protective and always looking out for me. He cared about me and always wanted what was best.

Problems didn't arise until Tom and Matt moved in.

Sure, we were friends in highschool. We had a pretty close knit gang, the four of us... But, in the beginning, I honestly couldn't stand either of them. And they couldn't stand me either. It was very clear.

Tom, with his nasty remarks and sullen attitude always being spit my way.

And Matt, oh the arguments. We'd have screaming matches until 3 am... We fought all the time.

I wouldn't have put up with it, if it weren't for Edd. He gave me purpose and made me want to do something with my life. I'm aware now, how... Unhealthily attached I was to him. But he was my entire world.

Everytime I see the phrase 'it's Edd's World, and we're just living in it.' .....

Yea, I was.

[a-tords-memories]

The End... The End...

I always find myself wanting to speak about this the most. I feel that most fans of the show, and most other Eddsworld fictives or kin, feel the most strongly about these episodes.

It hurts, all the time. The regret. The mistakes. How stupidly, immature I was. For someone so cold and calculating, it was the one thing I didn't calculate properly. My mind was running wild, with so many emotions. The most imposing emotion: fear.

You see, I never left. I was by my friends sides, all up til that day. I left for long trips back home to Norway, to work on the army business. My friends, unknowing of my secretive hobbies.

The day is so vivid. It's one of the few things, that I remember so well.

It was supposed to be simple:

Send Edd, Matt, and Tom to the store. Get my robot. They come home like nothing happened, and for me? There's a note saying an unexpected emergency arose, and I needed to fly back home.

Simple. It should've been simple.

But, as always, things are NOT simple.

I insisted on staying home. And then Tom insisted on staying home. And guess who got their way?

No one was supposed to get hurt. I know how stereotypical that sounds, coming from Tord. But it's the truth. I didn't want to hurt my friends.

As I was begged by the one person who made me so weak, to come to the store, I crumbled and gave in. I shouldn't have crumbled. I should've been firm. I shouldn't have gone to the store with them.

As of course, from there, we all know what happened. But what about my motives? Unlike the show, I cared about them. So what gives? Why'd I say those hurtful things to Edd?

The way he looked at me, seeing me up in that robot. The way, I could see it in his eyes: his entire reality was shattering around him. I knew what he was already thinking.

Why try to tell the truth? Would he have really believed me? Would he understand my plans, to make the world a better place? (It was never about world domination). Would he, see me?

No. He wouldn't have. Maybe in the future, but not at that moment. And I lied. I proved his thoughts right. I didn't want him to think I could come back after this. I didn't want him to try to look for me. I thought, if I hurt him now, it'd spare him the pain. If he thought I never cared, it'd hurt less. No leading on... Just, quick.

I wanted to runaway, the moment he saw me. The me, that I never wanted him to see.

[a-tords-memories]

Something you can never forget, are the bonds you have with the people around you. I mourn everyday the loss I feel, for the friends I had, the life I had. The good memories. The bad memories.

I moved around frequently, but I will never forget the first day I met Edd. The second person to ever welcome me with kindness. Something, that was so unfamiliar to me. I watched other people share it with each other frequently, and it was something I always secretly envied. But I wasn't losing sleep over it.

It was my first day at this highschool. I was prepared, ready to not give a shit. I was ready to be the overseas outcast, to get pelted with spitballs, beat in the hallways. I was ready for the teachers to hate me. People to make fun of my English.

And I was waiting by the bus stop that morning, as the rain poured. I didn't bring an umbrella, because in the long run, what does it matter? And I waited, the cold rain soaking my skin.

And that's when I saw him. Walking over to the stop, and I prayed under my breath that he wouldn't stop here. But, alas, he did. And, like the kind person he was, he offered me his umbrella. And despite my protests, he stood close, and shared his umbrella with me.

Throughout the day, he kept speaking to me, between classes, in the halls, trying to be so helpful. And I didn't understand why.

[a-tords-memories]

So many rainy days.. Y'know, I feel a lot of people underestimate how much it actually rains in the UK. I remember shortly after moving in with Edd, after highschool. We were roommates, and this was before Matt and Tom moved in. The house was very empty, and very quiet. It was very brand new looking. Like nothing I'd really seen before. (And if it wasn't brand new, whoever owned it previously did a really nice job cleaning it.) Of course, we'd brought in our furniture and what little possessions we had for the space... But it was so.. spacious o-o I remember sitting in my room, in a crappy computer chair, and staring out the window. Ringo was in my lap, purring contentedly, and the only other sound I could hear was the rain pouring down. I was thinking of everything yet nothing at the same time. I had a whole life ahead of me.. this was only the beginning. I could do anything. And, I remember wondering if Edd was asleep. If he was warm, snuggled into blankets, with the blinds shut- or was he sprawled across the bed uncaringly, falling asleep just however he was. It was surely too quiet for him to be up working. You can really get lost in the rain. 

[a-tords-memories]

Ah.. Yes. Jon and I were inseparable. I don't really know why he liked me, considering most people loved him. I, on the otherhand, was very unlikable, anti-social, cold. He could've chosen to be 'best friends' with anyone else- And I wish he had. We grew up like brothers. And we did get put into the same foster home at one point. I do know it wasn't because they wanted me, but because of the fact that Jon went out of his way to ensure I went to the 'better place' with him. I only use '' because while it may be better in some aspects, it's not always. Every foster home I went to, was terrible. Just because the parents resented me, for being so problematic. I was never really wanted by anyone. I didn't care too much, though. I didn't need anyone to like me.. No matter how much it hurt. I had Jon, and he was all I needed. He was my brother.

[a-tords-memories]

Well, to begin, I see many people write fanfics about the events that take place during the show. But my memories go back even further than that.

I remember being only a child when my mother passed away, and my father had passed before I was born. I don't remember exactly what age, it starts to get fuzzy there- but I was put into an orphanage because I had no other family. And honestly,I got switched from orphanage to orphanage. My 'home' was constantly changing. Sometimes, I believed it was because I was a bad child.

And, I was an outcast. I never really got along with any other kids, and when I wasn't being bullied, I was the bully. I had anger issues, to say the least. Do keep in mind, this was during the early 80's.

Eventually, the orphanages started to become overrun I guess, too many children. And they shipped me and many other kids over to the UK orphanages.

And this, is where I met the first person I really cared about since my mother; the first person I viewed as family-

Jon