on hiatus but posting art on @thebirdarts this sideblog is dead, my main is @fantastic-mr-corvid and my art is @thebirdarts
[blog is mostly run on a queue]
This blog is a place for me to ramble about my hyperfixations, post my art and writing! i will also reblog post i want to keep/resonate with me, i will also reblog metas for fandoms like the authority and dc and others
i wright poetry and fan-fiction as well as draw original works and fan-art [art now posted on thebirdarts]
my pronouns are he/him, you may call me crow
link to an explanation of my tags is hear and nonspesifc tags
my generic/reblog shit: herequeerexitentialfear (i follow n like from here) and my ao3 a_wild_things_rambles
theres something really fucked about moving away from where you were born and also being trapped in the placed you moved to. I can never go home [Its someone elses home now, that shoebox apartment where i grew up now extortionately expensive. The community i loved driven out or made isolated in their own communitys by gentrification] I'm forever stuck in this small town [Always an outsider, no matter how many years I've been here. Still sleeping in a child's bedroom, so little changed over the years. Watching my friends move out and get jobs as I'm left behind] Its the worst of both worlds innit. i can never go back home and i can never escape its confines. two homes that both haunt me.
something genuinely insane about going somewhere and getting to feel “i had some of the worst years of my life here” and “i was loved here, once” simultaneously.
gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today
rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS
THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!
in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:
more granular rambling beneath the cut!
u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.
example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.
anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:
i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.
since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.
also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao
unknown // the authority (1999) // unknown // the authority (1999) // son of the nuclear a-bomb by nimmieamee on ao3 // the authority (1999) // hélène cixious // the authority (1999) // mary ruefle // the authority: revolution (2004) // aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire saenz // the authority (1999) // if my body could speak by blythe baird // the authority: revolution (2004) // the sun is also a star by nicola yoon // the authority: revolution (2004) // becca del la rosa // the authority: revolution (2004) // richard siken // the authority: revolution (2004) // @angelprotocol // midnighter (2007) // daughter by beyoncé // midnighter (2007) // josé olivarez
"That I have experienced my share of traumatic experiences, have survived abuse of various kinds, have faced near death from accidental circumstance and from violence (different as the particulars of these may be from those around me) is not a card to play in gamified social interaction or a weapon to wield in battles over prestige. It is not what gives me a special right to speak, to evaluate, or to decide for a group. It is a concrete, experiential manifestation of the vulnerability that connects me to most of the people on this earth. It comes between me and other people not as a wall, but as a bridge."
I've been thinking about this one, and the rippling effect of both trauma and healing. I hope my impact on the world causes more healing than trauma.
text reads:
Dad, we've been talking about family trauma and recovery recently, and you wrote me a song about the day I was born.
And it was a beautiful song but I still feel like we're strangers, like part of you never got to know me after that day.
I had a dream that we experience healing as nonlinear because we experience time as linear, but that healing actually happens in moments that ripple outward, spreading across what we call "time" in both directions and also across everything else.
And I woke up wondering if the me that needed you when you weren't there can hear you singing this song now, and be healed back then.
(here's the song):
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=589970479155000&set=a.304268177725233
motherhood in comics is literally just about endless grief. So many mothers miss their kids entire childhoods and are presented with a grown up version of the baby they just held. so many mothers don’t get to raise their children. if fatherhood in comics is about legacy then motherhood is about loss
the gender implications in this is are fascinating. comic fathers worry about if they’ll be a good role model/parent and the mothers are losing their children or being seen as lesser than for becoming a mother or their identity and distinct characterization is fading
motherhood in comics is literally just about endless grief. So many mothers miss their kids entire childhoods and are presented with a grown up version of the baby they just held. so many mothers don’t get to raise their children. if fatherhood in comics is about legacy then motherhood is about loss
if my kids were like “i cant draw. i’m just gonna make ai art” i would be like shut the fuck up and pick up the pencil u are gna draw some one eyed anime bitches with their hands behind their backs
[ID: a four-panel digital comic. The background of all four panels is red, with white text and black details. The first panel features a wolf-like animal looking up from the bottom right corner of the panel. Text in a clean font reads: “You’ve become a beast.” The second panel features a closeup of the animal’s open, salivating mouth; its teeth are white and snarling. Text in a messy, animated font reads: “I know.” The third panel features only clean font that reads: “Do you regret it?” The fourth panel features only the rear end of the animal as it walks away to the left of the panel. Text in the messy font reads: “No.” /end ID]
