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[a666o-blog]

A view on codependency via House season 3 - Episode 1 - Meaning

Hi! I was watching this episode and some ideas came to me, I thought to write it down and share here, hope you enjoy it.

I recommend you watch the episode while reading, to see the details I mention. I wrote while watching haha.

A view on codependency via House season 3 - Episode 1 - Meaning.

A fitting title.

House comes back from a gunshot wound. Cuddy chemically induced a coma on him while he was being treated from the gunshot, the season 2 finale. His leg heals.

He comes back running, sun shining, feel good playing on the soundtrack.

His excuse for misery was gone and he was truly healed.

Cut to Wilson and Cuddy discussing cases to give House.

She directs to the main case of the episode, where Wilson suggests a case that brings House to his old self, the rude angry person they know him to be.

Cuddy warns “He will call you an idiot” and Wilson says, “who would want that?”

Wilson does. It shows a minute or so later. That is their relation.

House with the abuses and Wilson taking pleasure for being insulted.

Wilson “high-roding” House and House taking pleasure from the guilty.

A perfect co-dependent relationship. Threatened by the new House, as he claims in front of Wilson that “Cuddy changed his life with the procedure”.

See, Cuddy told Wilson he will be called an idiot by House. He agrees with her. And still, he suggests the case anyway. Why would you do that? He knew the result, being called an idiot. Wilson is an oncologist, he is not an idiot. He wanted that insult, in some level.

You see who is helping House.

Cuddy gives him something to do, 2 good cases, she asks how he feels.

Wilson is almost in shock by the new House. House tells Wilson he changed, he wants to help the paralyzed male patient, like a normal doctor, one that has runs while feel good plays, one that is healthy. Like a human being. And he outruns Wilson.

Wilson will never be at his side if House is healthy.

House announces his decision to help the male coma patient as he sees his blood on the carpet. Someone that was suffering trapped inside a broken body. Like he was. He was free now.

And House helped him with the surgery, maybe trying to do for the patient what vicodin had done for him, helping somehow, if not a cure, a relief, until one day something may happen.

And the Yoga girl Wilson suggested brings House back to his old self, at first a lying patient they thought.

Wilson tries to figure out where House stands. How he felt about helping people. Wilson tells House, the more he exercise his “helping people” muscle, the better will get. That is Wilson. He tells you the right things, but points you in another direction. He is testing House at this point, to see how far he changed.

And the next scene is the Yoga girl. She wasn't faking it. Neither was House. His first assumption is to say the Yoga girl was not faking. That is not House. His first and last assumptions are people lie. The old House was that. Not this one.

House talks to the wife of the coma patient, easing his pain. Cameron hears, and House tests her to see how Wilson would react.

House knows Wilson, but projects on Cameron. He tests her, to see what will happen if he is healthy. Asks her for a drink. She is as lost as Wilson when House came running, sweaty. And now House knows, he is not a sick puppy anymore. Even if others don’t believe him.

Cuddy blocks his insight, making him lie and fall into Wilson’s arms. Where House will be punished for not being socially adjusted. Because he does not care about lying if that means saving lives. Wilson makes him feel bad for being who he is, as he always does, bringing them back to their relationship.

But House, saves the girl while avoiding Wilson. The scene cuts to House. He does not need to talk to Wilson to have epiphanies anymore. Wilson chased House and was left alone again. They both know that, Wilson and House.

And the scene that tells you all. The wife of the coma patient.

She says she has a responsibility. They shared a life together. She needs to look after her husband no matter what. The wife says, “you don’t have to abandon someone just because”… being cut by sarcastic House. Because it got worse or better?

House calls her comatose husband an anchor. Someone that sucks the life out of you. That is what Wilson has been doing from the start of the episode. Doubting him. Questioning him. Denying the new person he is trying to be.

He asks the wife - taking care of him will not make you happy, but not taking care of him will make you miserable? - And the dialogue ends. And she goes take care of the husband.

House is thinking about what he just said. Wilson is being left behind. House will not be happy with Wilson, but will be miserable without him. And without his old self. That old self that came up, sarcastic and angry for being denied the 1st time, against the wife for the first time in the episode. And while that he has another epiphany about the patient.

Something deeper was wrong with the patient, he has saving!

Wilson tells him to stay, stop trying, that is it. He does not admire what new House is doing. And House’s leg starts to hurt. His demon. Being disproved by society, Cuddy, and his peers, Wilson. Did you notice how Wilson “casually” suggests how he, Wilson, is boring without vicodin? He knows the path to the old House and knows that new House may slip away from him.

House does not care about others opinions. He fights 3 doctors that studied 8 years of the patient history. He feels in his heart he is doing the right thing. They do the test and goes wrong, as predicted by everyone. But House is used to it, that is how always goes.

Cameron guilts House for “liking” to experiment with the patient. Judging his old ways, of “solving the puzzle”. She goes with him, ask the wife permission for a dangerous test. Always denying House to be more hopeful while talking to the wife, in her mind, he is doing for the “fun”. The “fun” of saving a life, that needs saving only in House’s eyes. No one else can see what he is doing, what he is going through, because he does not show, just like the comatose patient. He does not know how to show, being numb for so long.

They say the patient has suffered enough. It is time to let him go. Cuddy does not believe House wants to help the patient, because that is who he has never been. He can never be in her eyes. They are always holding him down. He needs reasons to do things, not this new person that wants to help because wants to help. That is not convincing. That is not rational.

And again, he goes straight to Wilson. Wilson smiles while House says his leg hurts. Now he knows. The denial of society, represented by the mother of all, dean of medicine Lisa Cuddy refusing this new House, denying him a chance to get rid of his old self, because it is too painful, because “it is not the right thing”, because it causes some suffering, to them! They never wonder what he must be feeling. He says, first time without drugs, and they don't take him seriously.

Because this new House goes against everything that they believe about him. The demon that held him for so long became him for those around. He decided, like the wife, to take the leap, “he was dead already” as she consented for more experiments with her husband, being hopeful. She saw the new House.

But they denied him. He will not get out of the mould they formed for him.

He is a lying bad adjusted junkie, that has a brilliant logical mind. The way to tame him? Vicodin. It worked so far, without vicodin there is no leash anymore.

Wilson again in the scene. He tells House things that a friend should say, perfect. At the same time he points the exact location of his prescription pad and where it is on the table. And which high he will get. From solving puzzles or from vicodin. He does not get from the puzzle in this episode, the crucial for his recovery.

And House solves the puzzle. He does not need vicodin. He is purified by water. He is truly new. This new high is the "true" high.Now he is clean. He goes back to society, Cuddy, with his perfect logical solution demanded before. Cuddy answers the door at night. Now he has all the right things to say.

But he says the wrong way, at the wrong time. After failing twice. His solution is not even dangerous anymore. Still, he gets rejected. And he learns, not happy in his old self with vicodin, but miserable without his puzzles. And Cuddy finally breaks him. He will never be adjusted, so why care? But he was right.

She wants to tell him, but gets blocked by Wilson. He knows what he will lose House, if House knows he does not need vicodin, does not need Wilson, he is the Genius no one will ever match. A God. And Wilson will lose his buddy, his codependent partner.

A well adjusted House, do you think he will still be around, whenever Wilson needs? Or he will get so deep into work, to save more and more lives, that all is gonna be left behind? Just puzzles left, no more need to talk to Wilson for vicodin...

And Wilson justify his decision at the end.

Just because he is right, does not mean he was not wrong.

Wilson is right, House needs him. But by supporting this co-dependent relationship, his addiction, Wilson is also wrong.

And House falls into the hole again, vicodin.

To entertain you.

[a666o-blog]

Bloodborne Secrets - 1: Old Blood, Impostor Iosefka, Third cords and some other insights

1 - Old blood, Impostor Iosefka, and some insights.

So I was looking into some stuff, though I could share.

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1- Following the game progression, you learn about Old blood from touching the beastly skull of Laurence, in the grand Cathedral, and triggering the Night and a cut-scene:

Master Willem, I've come to bid you farewell.

No, but you will never listen. I tell you, I will not forget our adage.

Fear the old blood.

I must take my leave.

And

"Heir to the ritual of blood, purveyor of ministration. Place your hand on the altar's sacred covering, and inscribe Master Laurence's adage upon your flesh."

Location: The note is on the right side near some candles before you ascend the steps inside the Grand Cathedral in Cathedral Ward

Fear the Old Blood. Laurence does not listen and ends up as a Beast in the Nightmare and real life.

Then, you take that suspicious beggar (the abhorrent beast) to Impostor Iosefka.

She tells you:

“Oh, hello... You're alive. Good. I've received another patient. This time, I'll be trying old blood. I've achieved much. And I owe it all to you. Take this, as thanks. Custom made. And cheers, to the discovery of kinship. Doesn't it make you feel warm inside?”

Well.. That man that can turn into an Abhorrent beast provides Old Blood for the works of the doctor... And her toast, Kinship:

blood relationship.

synonyms: family ties, blood ties, common ancestry*, consanguinity*

The Old Blood, The beast blood, the foundation of the healing church, represented at the altar on the Cathedral, on the nightmare church too, the common ancestry, represented again on this toast.

What do you think? Old blood = Beast blood? It was the thing that gave them strength to go after Cainhurst, wasn’t it? Following Alfred questline - Beast hunter then Vileblood hunter. Edit: And why Old? Isn't Old Yharnam a place infected by beasts? Old Yharnam blood?

 2 - More about Impostor Iosefka:

By bringing her the Old blood she gives you Blue Elixir. The other npcs are numbing mist, apart from the little girl, which is Lead elixir, fitting since she carried the music box. This is very strange because many reasons:

Numbing mist says:

“Said to be used by the blood hunters of Cainhurst, its recipe is a secret closely guarded by the line of nobles inhabiting the castle”

So Impostor Iosefka knows recipes from Cainhurst but she seems from the Church, sworn enemies. Not weird, if you consider she also gets pregnant on the Blood moon, like:

Arianna wears the Noble Dress found in Castle Cainhurst indicating she is a descendant of the nobles that lived there.

Considering she knows one secret of Cainhurst, how to make numbing mist (which helps you against Vicar Amelia too haha), she can know another, as, the blood capable of bearing a special child? Or she is a descendent from Cainhurst, infiltrated in the Church? Or she became the evolution sought by Master Willem as her cord states, finally capable of bearing a child as she says?

You see how she does not wear shoes? The suspicious beggar, Madman Wallar from the tombs, and Impostor Iosefka. Weird right? Worse, is the item that drops from Arianna… Her shoes. I dunno what this means yet haha.

 3- And then:

"When the red moon hangs low, the line between man and beast is blurred. And when the Great Ones descend, a womb will be blessed with child.”

Arianna gives birth to a celestial larvae, like tons found at the Upper Cathedral Ward. It could be a representation of how many dreams there were already, hunters, as Arianna cord states: "

Every Great One loses its child, and then yearns for a surrogate, and Oedon, the formless Great One, is no different. To think, it was corrupted blood that began this eldritch liaison.".

They did it many times, you are doing it again, offering a Cainhurst Woman to Oedon.

 Impostor Iosefka does not give birth, and her umbilical cord is special. Is the only one not related to a lost child.

Iosefka's Cord: "Provost Willem sought the Cord in order to elevate his being and thoughts to those of a Great One, by lining his brain with eyes. The only choice, he knew, if man were to ever match Their greatness."

The others:

“Every Great One loses its child, and then yearns for a surrogate.”

 Meaning there was a child lost and a surrogate 3 times already, at least. Impostor Iosefka has another child coming.

The other 3 cords. Remember how there are 3 nightmares slain?

The Wet nurse (Mergo if you want), The Orphan of Kos and the Moon presence.

And three “Guardians” before them: Micolash, Lady maria and Gehrman.

 And you get Rom, protected by the 3 shadows of Yharnam…

One, a mage, which casts spells and runs away from you

The other a fast swordsman, but easy parry.

The last mixes ranged and close combat…. Well, who were this shadows? You see the shadow of the orphan before nightmare slain, so...

 4- More:

The moon presence is the representation of dream and the hunters, per umbilical cord:

Workshop's Cord: "Every Great One loses its child, and then yearns for a surrogate. The Third Umbilical Cord precipitated the encounter with the pale moon, which beckoned the hunters and conceived the hunter's dream."

The Mergo is representing the Nightmare of Mensis.

"Every Great One loses its child, and then yearns for a surrogate. This Cord granted Mensis audience with Mergo, but resulted in the stillbirth of their brains."

 The orphan is the hamlet and the hunters nightmare. It does not have a cord there, which leaves Arianna cord, since Impostor Iosefka child had not being born. So Arianna cord is representing the beginning, a Cainhurst woman offered to Oedon? That is what began this liaison, with Gerhman being the first hunter. Something like that?

.

So there you go. The three cords of the birth of three "nightmares places" (Hunters dream, fishing hamlet (which fed the nightmare frontier) and nightmare of Mensis), represented by 3 "nightmare great ones” (Moon presence, Orphan of Kos and Mergo), guarded by 3 "nightmare hunters” (Gehrman, lady Maria, Micholash, or the thing that they beckoned, the wet nurse a mix of shadow and beast).

.

[a666o-blog]

Story - The eye of the squid

My mind betrayed me. My eyes allowed the unformed darkness to become. The great void, the devour, is upon me, is upon us. The damp darkness that will consume us all. Please, have mercy on me. Make me forget. I wish I could forget. I tried. Alcohol, drugs. I open a bottle of wine for breakfast on good days, combining with a sizable amount of weed to get through. Morphine and whiskey knocks me down when the darkness becomes too much. 

I need  to pretend I am like you. Well adjusted, linear, categorised and useful for society. My demise is imminent, I can only hope this words reach a more capable mind.

I arrived at this eastern country in 2015, to study agricultural and fishing techniques. My host was Ali, a mixed race young man. His aunt was respected in town as her family lineage traces back thousands years. They were people that have old traditions and dogmas, even walking through the middle of a Heavenly Gate was seen as disrespectful and punishable. I had to be cautious to not share my views on how traditions impedes progress, the scientific mind of the western. My hosts were kind to me, so should I. Gladly Ali, being of mixed heritage, was more open minded. He told me how his aunt is seeing as Pee-horrnuea by him, a volcano goddess from his father land, as she gave him everything but had a horrible temper. It wasn't just him. Everyone I met respects her and praise how much she helps them, while being afraid of her bad side.

While in the port waiting for Ali’s fisherman friends, a commotion starts. A giant squid was spotted and later guided back to the open ocean. While watching the enormous deep sea celaphod struggling in the port, Ali tells me about another god, Kiyrar-naloa. That is why the squid was not killed it seems.  The squid, he said, were representations of Kiyrar-naloa, the healing sea god. And if you could look into the eye of Kiyrar-naloa you would see the web of life, the connection that exists between all the matter in the universe, and all living beings, the future and the past. Being a biologist, he tells me how this legend could have relation to the squid eye being more evolved than the human eye, without the blind spot vertebrates have due their eye wiring. The squid, theoretically, can see more than us, he explained. As I looked, the eye of the struggling squid, sized like a dinner plate, made contact with mine. I saw floating things, swimming in darkness, shining a bluish light. Stars and constellations. They called me. I did not know what it was, I really did not want to, but I answered.

That first night. The dream that never ends. All dark and damp, I move slowly as the air is heavy, liquid like. It is warm, I sweat, my whole body is moist. There’s no path, no nothing. I feel my body but I cannot see it. A faint light shows, right before I feel a compressing pressure, as my body is at the oesophagus of a giant creature, being swallowed by the damp darkness. It guides me towards the light. Before I reach it, tentacles holds me like a parent holding a falling child. They never let me reach the light.

After a few months stuck every night in the same dream, the darkness started to take its toll. Every new thought that came to my head was replaced by sights of the darkness, nothingness, meaninglessness, the empty void that preceded the primordial waters of chaos...

Winter had started, shorter days, darkness grew inside and outside me but I never felt cold. There was no use on wondering anymore, something happened. I abandoned any normal social life. The psychologist prescribes depression medication citing chemical imbalances in the brain. Following medical examinations resulted in nothing but a small increase in brain fluid, causing migraines that are only numbed by passing out drunk or with heavy drugs. It never goes completely away, the feeling of my brain shifting around inside my skull, the writhing of water.

I was desperate for anything. Proven, unproven, scientific, shamanistic, new age. It doesn’t matter. I heard stories of ancient cures. Terrifying procedures, bloodletting, trepanation, hydrotherapy treatments. Electroshock and lobotomy would soon be followed if wasn’t for my flashes of consciousness, like the one I am having now. Sadly they don’t last long. The damp darkness I feel even while wake now.

I don’t remember much of the “calming” procedure that was performed on me. A chair and a water tank were there, that I am sure, along with surgical equipment. The hole in my head shows the removal of a part of my skull, as well as my right eye, dead at this point, blackened. I still see the darkness though, darker than not seeing at all. I could not trust my eyes anymore, and so, I started to hear, the sound of the sea in a seashell I found at the beach. It became my window to the past, to when I was fine, sane, a person…

I cannot forget the dark, my time is done. Only death will bring me release. I am not sure how or when I got here. How long had passed. I’m back at the beginning, on the port, where the squid saw me. I had a big knife ready to slit my wrists. I thought I did that, I remember dying. Feeling cold for the first time since the warm darkness took me.

All is foggy, but I remember a woman dressed in white. What she told me on that pier and her bad temper if I displease her:

“You seen Bootiis in Kiyrar-naloa’s eye. Bootiis is the great void of the deep cosmos, the backwards, the undoing, the reversal of light. It is time anticlockwise. Its shadowy tentacles reverse growth, creation and progress made by light and life. Tentacles forming his bloated body as a dragging spiral of abyss, much like dark seashell covering a even darker interior, destitute of light as a black hole. Gigantic, he is three times the size of the milky way. 

He is the willing misunderstanding of knowledge, being worshipped by greedy and cruel men, to control and prey on others. It is being fed everyday, blinding mankind to look backwards instead of forwards and they are becoming his puppets, to forever carry his undoing, with the help of false gods that mankind worship, material things created for subjugation and dominion of other beings.

Those ignorant righteousness ideologies that sealed human’s fate.

Man will abandon our gifts of their evolved minds and listen to their most primordial beastly emotions. This will turn former allies into enemies, poison the land, war will bring forth rivers of blood, plagues and death. Mass migration and famine will be the standard affairs. It has already began, the beckoning of the damp darkness. Bootiis puppets are dividing mankind for the destruction that will feed him. It is done and not even I can stop it. We are just waiting for the wicked to be consumed by the darkness so light can start again. It is unfortunate that your mind was taken to this time, when all is gone and only the damp darkness remained, but it was a blessing indeed.”

My mind was calm now. I felt her calming embrace. This world is pathless, cursed, I need to wait for the next. She told me where to go, the land she shaped, and I depart immediately. To the great fire lake that will bring light to my soul.

19.4069° N, 155.2834° W

[a666o-blog]

Guidance