Aadhube

Aadh || 20 || Hobbyist writer || Currently working on a medieval fantasy, and brainstorming an early modern high fantasy!

[aadhube]

Introduction Post

Right, so I'm finally getting around to making an introduction post after quite a few months of being on Tumblr, but here I go!

I'm Aadhube, a dude trying to write and improve my writing skill, among other things. High Fantasy is definitely the genre I am in love with the most; all my settings involve some sort of overt magic that affects society, and it's the kind of stuff I love reading as well.

(Also, you can call me Aadh).

Currently, I have three projects in mind:

-Medieval High Fantasy: This one (Haven't found a proper title yet) revolves around two characters, who have been reset in time and given a second chance, back multiple years before an apocalyptic invasion tipped the odds over humanity and destroyed them all.

The two characters are Myren, a bastard prince of Olvenstern who grew up as a little robber unconsciously using metal magic to go past locks, got caught and noticed by an Order of steel-manipulating knights, and became one of the continent's most renowned swordsmen. Then there is Meldrene, the defacto princess of Arallia, a deep forestland, and favored by Medarda, the Goddess of Life; even at her young age, there are barely even archmages who can match her intensity and prowess at healing and anything related to the human anatomy.

And yes, the two characters were born and raised barely a mile apart, and yet experienced polar opposite lives from their side of the border; Meldrene, who grew up a princess devoted to the Goddess of Life in one of the most prosperous lands of the world, and Myren, who grew up under a single mother in an impoverished town, eventually joining the Steel Drakes, an Order of knights who worship Vallast, the God of Steel and Craftsmen.

-Early Modern High Fantasy: Now, this one has an intense focus on magitech and a blend of late 1800s/early 1900s aesthetics with renaissance and medieval aesthetics. Think a lot of mystical, baroque, gothic architecture and a distinct academic, arcane flair. Yes, this is an academy setting for a large chunk of it and I want to write about magical academia, young friendship and love in that setting, and a devastating war with a lot of focus on both it's harshness and the military aspects of it.

This is where I can combine my obsession with both high fantasy and military stuff, so I'm planning on writing this eventually. I still do write certain scenes from this and tentatively worldbuild, but it is not my main focus at the moment. Below is my main focus for my writing, right now!

-The Crimson Knight of Terraria (TCKoT): This is a fanfiction inspired by my playthrough of heavily modded Terraria, which involves Calamity mod and an RPG mod, among others. This is honestly the one I have chosen to start off my online web-published novels with (Posting to Tumblr, Wattpad, Royal Road, AO3, etc). I basically want to tell a story of a character thrown into a strange island with few ordinary possessions to survive there, and then work his way up as he explores the place, mines resources, finds loot, makes progressively better and better gear, and turns the island from his seeming grave, into his personal sandbox. So basically, Terraria the game!

As a treat, here's an unfinished map I have been making for my medieval high fantasy! (You can tell it's unfinished, because I haven't properly even fleshed out the coast on the left yet).

If you want, you can ask away about my stories, characters and worlds! I would really appreciate it if you do, so don't hold back any questions!

If this was interesting enough to you, I would be happy if you reblogged as well :D

[luna-azzurra]

A List of Voice Qualities!!<3

[aadhube]

Alternate POV I wrote of an actual scene from Strength of the Few. Just my own fanfic headcanon, don't sue me. How did I capture the feelings here?

Aequa looked at Vis as he talked at length and felt a strange, unfamiliar fluttering in her stomach. She couldn’t place what the feeling was, exactly, but it was not an unpleasant one. Rather, it was quite nice. A welcome reprieve from all the carnage engulfing Caten in recent times.

She listened with rapt attention as the intricacies of Baine’s plan was revealed to her. She hadn’t known much about Eidhin’s dad before, but Vis’ relaying of him seemed… melancholic. A father who cared, but had no choice to show it. A slight ache pulsed within her at that thought; her father might desire her to attain as much power as possible, but it did not feel like there was really true fatherly love to be found from him. Regardless, Eidhin needed help and Vis was clearly adamant on giving it. 

She did not mind. She was already going with him at sunset to go rescue his old tutor, anyways, so continuing along with him to aid a dear friend like Eidhin was hardly an issue.

“I’ll be there.” Aequa said when Vis was finally done. He gave a sudden, warm smile at that, and she felt that odd fluttering in her stomach again. That man made her feel… something, for perhaps the first time in her life. Aequa was honored to have someone who trusted her so damn much to tell her all this, and she was glad to trust him just as much too…

But, the topic of trust brought up an unexpectedly dour topic for her.

“Oh, and before you go … I hear Emissa’s alright.” She didn’t know why she brought her up. Aequa did not hate or even dislike Emissa, but thinking about her lately seemed to bring an incredibly depressing feeling at that point. Emissa had been his lover, his beloved once. Before she stabbed him and shattered his heart. Aequa forced the feelings of fury and inadequacy down. It wasn’t like she was Catenicus’ lover, so why did she even care?

Aequa studied Vis’ face as he reacted. Missed a step, then shot a glance right at her. “Really?”

She gave a wan smile. “Report on Corenius’s camp came in yesterday. She’s been spotted there.”

A complicated look lanced across Vis’ face. Hurt, concern, even hope. “Thanks.” 

“Of course.” Aequa took the time to look, really look at Vis. The contours of his face, his wavy brown hair, that characteristic gait and one-armed nature that she had come to actually like. How did he feel about… Emissa, now? Aequa had no clue why she cared enough to ask, but something within her compelled her to do so anyway. When it came to Vis, she didn’t want to hold things in anymore. “We’re probably going to end up fighting her.”

“I know.”

“Do you still love her?”

The question shocked Aequa nearly as much as it seemed to shock Vis. He blinked, looking uneasily at her. 

“Can you really love someone you don’t completely trust?” He responded softly.

Aequa considered what he said. Trust. Love. Could someone love one they did not trust? Mulling over the question, she did not think so. Love was built on trust in the first place, wasn’t it? If not for trust, how could someone bear to love anyone?

Uneasier thoughts laced their way into her mind. Aequa trusted him, so much. And Vis seemed to trust her dearly as well. Did she…? Did he?

Casting those distracting thoughts away, she gave a slow nod. Then reached out and squeezed tightly around Vis’ good arm in farewell. The action comforted her.

“See you tonight, Vis.”

[aadhube]

Myren encounters a little hitch with the tenuously-allied guards he's supposed to pass through

I am striding forward towards the wide-open gate, almost about to pass through, when the Arallian legionnaires posted there stir. One steps in front of me.

“Halt!” He calls out, and I do. In the moonlight, I can see his frown as he looks me up and down. “What is your business… foreigner?” He says the last word after a delay, now clearly recognizing the silvery gleam of my Steel Drake pendant.

I flash my triskelion insignia at the legionnaire’s face. “High Lord Elduin wants to see me.” I say irritably. “Important business, soldier. I need not be delayed any further.” The faint sounds of clashing steel and the screams of dying men ringing around the city, alongside the dusty plumes of smoke rising at various points in the sky punctuate my statement.

He gives me and the medallion a dubious look, stroking his beard as he does so. Finally, with a harrumph, he relents and steps aside. “Very well then. Suit yourself, Olvensterner.”

I thank him graciously and walk through the Arallian barricade into the Yareguan Quarter proper. Suit yourself? I shake my head. I had thought that Arallians were a relatively humble, withdrawn people from my time in Larralin some while ago, but clearly that didn’t extend over to their legionnaires. These men have more pomposity than Meldrene herself! And she was- is the daughter of Arallia’s High Lord!

Thinking about Meldrene creates a sudden lump in my throat. I didn’t know it, but I miss her so damn much. Her and her sunny smiles and warm, tender embrace. I try to shove that thought down. I am here with her father for her. Best to have my head in full clarity during the full extent of the fighting.

[aadhube]

Who I really am, Part 1

(MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD)

After Aequa has a near brush with death, Vis decides that he wants to share with her his deepest, darkest secrets. And thus, when she is finally recovering at Villa Telimus, courtesy of Kadmos, he takes the opportunity to do exactly that.

“Aequa.” I take a deep, deep breath, steadying myself for what will come. “I have something I need to talk about with you. It is… important.”

She shifts herself, taking care of her wrapped, broken shoulder on the settee as she looks into my eyes, really looks with those blue eyes of hers. They look almost purple in the orange light of sunset streaming in through the window. “Yes, Vis?” She murmurs softly.

I know telling her the truth, the reality of my past is risky, an unreasonable gamble and wholly unnecessary, but… I’m just so tired of it all. Hiding who I really am from people I have grown inextricably close to. Watching as they died —or came near to it, not knowing who I really was.

I remember Callidus, a person I genuinely considered my best friend, a bright soul and someone I had camaraderie with. I remember all those moments talking, eating, jesting with him, unknowingly turning him into one of the closest people I had ever known in the Catenan Republic. And I remember failing, failing to tell him who I really was that fateful day at the Iudicium.

He had later died not ever knowing who I was or where I really came from.

And almost so did Aequa.

She is as close to me as a friend as Callidus was, I realize. Close as a friend, and perhaps something other than that. Maybe more than a friend, now that I think about it. But I want to deal with that later. What I know for certain is, I trust her. Trust her enough to possibly entrust her with my deepest secret. The one that I hide with all my being. 

Our lives can be fleeting, and our ends utterly unpredictable, and everything that has happened to me over the years has shown exactly that. Decimus showed me that in the brief moments he held my friend at death’s edge. So I want… before anything happens to Aequa, for her to know who I am. Who I was.

I sit next to her, taking her hand for comfort; both mine and hers.

“Aequa.” I whisper, taking her name in again. “Do you know how much I trust you? How much I-” My voice cracks. “-I have wanted to tell you something?”

Her brow furrows. “I trust you, Vis. With my life.” She smiles. “And I hope you trust me just as much. But what did you want to tell me?”

I find myself stroking my thumb along Aequa’s hand. The motion comforts me enough to keep going. “You know how I say my parents died in an accident?” I softly say. “That I am an orphan from Letens? One who got adopted by Ulciscor later on?”

She cocks her head, observing me. “Are you… not?” She finally asks.

“My parents did die. It’s true.” I say carefully. “But… I have been lying to you, to all of Caten about… well, almost everything, Aequa.” I gulp. “I am not what I claimed to be. I am not where I say I’m from. I’m not even named what I call myself.”

Aequa is watching me with rapt attention, searching my eyes as I go on. Strangely, and to my slight elation, she seems… not offended. Not even mad. Curious, you could say. Understanding. Even supportive. But she looks sad. “Then what- who even are you, Vis?” It comes out barely audible.

I suck my breath in. There’s no going back after this.

“Diago.” My voice is equally faint. “My name is Diago, Aequa.”

“Diago.” She replies, feeling the name in her mouth. “The name you gave the alupi.”

I nod sadly. “That name reminds me of who I was, Aequa. The name given by my parents. The one I discarded to blend in in the Republic.”

“And your parents…?”

I squeeze Aequa’s hands tight, not wanting to let go of them. “I was Prince of Suus.” I say, not able to tear my eyes from hers. “Son of Cristoval. My parents ruled Suus, and I had sisters. An older and a younger.“ I swallow down a heavy lump in my throat. “None of them survived the Catenan attack.”

I expect Aequa to tear her hands and eyes away from mine, shift further, put distance between us. Because I have just revealed to her what I really am. A liar, a deceiver, someone with a certain vendetta against the Catenan Republic, her nation. Someone she never expected me to be.

But that’s not what happens.

A few seconds, and I feel Aequa’s forehead nuzzle mine. Her raven-black hair is silky soft against my skin. “I am so sorry, Vis.” Then she is pulling me in for a full hug and putting her chin on my shoulder. “I- I didn’t know that was what happened to you.”

I hesitate at first, not willing to believe what Aequa is doing. How could she still comfort me this way? Then I’m hugging her back, and far more fiercely. The tears that I hadn’t noticed were in my eyes before now spill out freely as I squeeze my close friend tight. It feels good to have her close. I don’t want to let go.

And yet, slowly but surely, we have to let go. Aequa pulls away from the hug, and I immediately miss the warmth and comfort as I reluctantly do the same. “Gods, V- Diago.” She mutters, seeing the state of my cheeks. To my shock, her hands come up to wipe the tears away. An odd feeling flutters in my stomach, alongside embarrassment that she’s seeing me this way. “You have been holding this in so long.”

I inhale deeply and nod, trying to get my emotions in control. “I did… And I never thought I’d ever tell this to anyone.” I look her in the eye again. “I almost told Callidus, Aequa. Thought of spilling everything I was to him at the Iudicium. And then he died. I never got the chance, because I took my gods-damned time with him. One of the best guys I ever knew.”

I shake my head. “And now I find myself in the same situation with you. You are one of the most trustworthy people I have in this godsdamned Republic, Aequa. And then… And then, you almost died. Just like Callidus, I almost lost my chance to tell you.” I clench my fists. “Even if you might view me worse than before.”

Aequa frowns. “Why would I view you worse for it?”

There is still the darker half of what I haven’t told her. Something not as palatable to tell her as my Suusian origin. Aequa might distance herself from me, perhaps even turn me in after learning what I will say next. But I meant everything I just said. I can’t let a mere moment slip by without telling her the full truth of myself.

I gather the courage to look her in the eye as I say: “I have been helping the Anguis, Aequa.”

[aadhube]

The best feeling as a writer is when you finish writing something and you actually ENJOY reading it

A huge mark of your improvement as a writer, IMO, is when this starts happening more and more frequently.

[aadhube]

Reposting this lovely scene (though perhaps obsolete) since I love it so much. Myren wakes up in Meldrene's bed and realizes he did the full thing with her

I opened my eyes to the sight of bright rays of light filtering through windows. It was bright enough to bring me to wakeness quite fast, but yet, not an unpleasant sight… Rather, the sight of it bathing the pale purple marble of the room was quite serene. I laid there, admiring that sight and the blue morning sky outside for a full minute before I stirred.

There was an odd, pleasing warmth to my back. Turning around in my bed, I froze in place when I saw it’s source. Meldrene. Facing me with her eyes closed, her body slowly rose and fell with her deep breathing; quite asleep, by the looks of it. 

Her blonde hair lay tousled all around her face, wavy curls all spread about on her pillow— and mine. Before I could think anything else, my first thought was that she was so beautiful. Then my next thought was: Where the fuck was I?

The answer came pretty quickly. Rather than go back to my designated living quarters with the Steel Drakes like I should have last night, I had chosen to stay with her. Reading the forbidden manuscripts at first, yes, but we had been… sidetracked after some point. More focused on each other. Everything about that night came rushing back into my mind. It was deeply embarrassing, but also exhilarating to think about. Doing all that with a girl I had hated for more than half our time knowing each other?

For some reason, my first involuntary reaction was not to get out of bed and sneak away, put some distance, but instead lean in closer, brushing her hair aside from her cheek, before I gave her a gentle kiss there. All the better to show some tenderness to your partners, no?

The moment I did that, her eyelids fluttered wide open, revealing lavender eyes that looked mesmerizing, and certainly, very awake. I met her eyes as I pulled away, frowning.

“Were you awake this entire time?” I asked incredulously.

Her cheeks turned a bright, vivid red as she gave a flat, sheepish smile. “Yes.” She admitted. 

I stared at her for an embarrassingly long time before I could summon a response. “So, you… ah, saw that…?”

Meldrene gave me a meaningful stare, studying my face as she remained further silent. “Why did you do that?” She finally started, murmuring softly.

[aadhube]

Meldrene accidentally tells Myren that she loves him (Incomplete draft)

I stare at him like he has just grown a third arm out of his head. “Why don't I want you to go take the Trials that kill nine out of ten men who take it?” I repeat. 

“How about because you are one of the precious few Steelfather-blessed warriors we still have?” I advance on him. “How about because we already have two Edelrath princes? How about because you are the only other person who actually saw that timeline with me, and I need you now more than ever? How about because I love you? How about because you still have your entire life ahead of you?!?”

Myren blinks. And blinks again.

“You love me?” He repeats.

Only then does my mistake dawn on me.

I nervously lick my lips and scoff as his eyes narrow down. “Of course I love you!” The very phrase feels strange to say. “In- in- in the friendly way! Friends proclaim their love for each other all the time!”

He cocks his head sideways and actually has the gall to smirk. “I don't remember ever telling Elfric or Dien that I love them.”

“That's because you are one of those dour Olvensterner Felisarian Steel Drakes!” I rant, feeling my eye twitch. “We don't find it so weird over in Arallia to love our friends! You over in Olvenstern are just strange people, okay? Your way isn’t necessarily the best way! In fact, in fact, you people are probably so sad all the time because you don’t tell each other how much you love them, or maybe you just actually don’t love your friends and you are fine with having a beer with your ‘friends’ like every other week and then every Olvensterner wonders why everyone else thinks they are so damn lonely and then-”

Myren’s jaw clamps down and his whole body starts to shake as I go on further and further with my ranting. An amused light reaches his blue eyes. He steps closer and puts a finger to my mouth, silencing me immediately. “Shush, Mel.” He pats my head. “Just say you don’t love me and that will be the end of it.” He puts on mock sadness as he says it.

I open my mouth, intending to say something, and close it, not knowing what to say. All I can do is glare daggers at the young man. He’s smiling while he freely runs a hand through my hair.

[aadhube]

Part 2 of my list of books that Myren has read. So far, the 3 categories listed here are still incomplete, and I will keep adding on to them, but this is certainly still good progress!

Political Texts

The Volgen Charter: The primary document governing, in detail, the various regulations, norms, customs, codes and expected behavior of the various martial knighthood orders present in Olvenstern. Written as an alternative to the supposedly outdated Velcaros Charter of Eledore

Commentaries on the Volgen Charter: Various discussions revolving around the Volgen Charter, discussing the practical implications of it’s guidelines and certain distinctions it holds from the Velcaros Charter

The Beating Heart of Governance: A text by deceased King Alvendorn, the first Steel Drake to assume the Silverine Throne, it goes into detail about the kinds of fundamental, grandiose reforms he hopes will bring Olvenstern into the forefront of continental dominance. Ever since his rule and his passing, the text has become a foundational template upon which later Olvensterner kings have set their direction.

The Decay of Eledore: A somewhat polemical, if useful text by an author writing not long before the Great Secession, who drove into painful detail of all the ways that the Eledoran Empire had declined and wilted. The issues he describes turn out to still be pertinent more than a century later when Myren fights the Eledorans alongside the Olvensterner army.

Analytic Texts

Codex Pertaxia: A compendium that goes into detail about the expected equipment and training of a knight. Written in the mid-Eledoran Golden Age, and still popular across Eledore and it’s seceded regions of Olvenstern and Surete. ‘Adapted’ by the Olvensterner censors to fit their own context

The Proper Behavior of a Knight: A text that delves into the more personable, moral, mystical aspects of a knight and expounds on what the ideal knight should be. Written in the olden pre-secession days of Eledore, though Myren suspects the versions written in Olvenstern are edited to reflect a more ‘Olvensterner’ and Felisarian perspective

The Science of Contemporaneous Warfare, by Gallesitz Lebedor of Hospelin: A text that articulates the wider perspective of warfare, going into logistics and the strategy of battle, as opposed to finer tactics known to individual warriors. Wri

Arcane Texts

Principles of the Flow of Mana: A beginner’s text that introduces novitiate mages to the nature of how their intrinsic mana flows and can be interacted with. It is an essential teaching material for any who seek to use magic, and Steel Drake initiates like Myren are no exception The True Nature of Stone and Steel: Penned by a prominent grandmaster of the Masonic Knights long ago, this text explores both the practical and mystical aspects of the element of Earth, which every Steel Drake like Myren must be intimately familiar with.

(Yes, there's a bunch of.... incomplete stuff here)

[aadhube]

I started writing this lore entry to flesh out a pivotal moment of my FMC's backstory, about a certain huge military campaign she takes part in as a healer, and I was wondering if the prose here sounds.... off. Could someone tell me if it's just me, or there's something here?

The Indelivus Crusade was the highly successful, months-long campaign by a grouping of over a dozen Eledoran legions with the support of the Volispire, that managed to claw back the northwestern Holy Land of Pareme after decades under foreign dominance.

It was initiated by High Lord Verlidis Tarrant after the Summit of four High Lords at his stronghold of Iridios, with other High Provinces, the Volispire, the Inquisition and the Emperor himself represented by their respective envoys at the great city. After lengthy deliberations on the matter, they came to the common understanding that the reconquest of the northwestern Holy Land was a foremost imperative of the Empire, and that a joint effort of multiple High Provinces was required to carry out this humongous task. 

Therefore, fifteen Eledoran legions of full strength drawn from the western Eledoran High Provinces of Iridia, Pareme and Cartasol were assembled in Iridia. A twin force of seven legions pooled together by the northern High Provinces of Mirannia, Yareguin and Arallia was similarly called to Pareme’s east in Mirannia. Bolstered by hundreds of knights and thousands of battlemages that would provide the considerable cores of elites for the two armies, they sought to strike simultaneously at the heart of Pareme and beyond, with the ultimate goal of vanquishing any threat in the direction for the foreseeable future.

[aadhube]

Little tidbit

“Myren…” Elfric whispered, dread and horror setting into him.

As he started towards Myren, standing in front of Tesaris with sword in hand and the crowd around them cheering, he felt a hand grip his arm and pull him back. When he looked, it was Dien. “Leave him be, Elfric.” He murmured. “This is his fight, and no one else's.”

Elfric stared him down, willing him to back off, til his shoulders sagged and he nodded in resignation. Myren had the right to do this, if he spoke the truth. And Elfric had no right to impede him.

[goth-queen]

[aadhube]

FIRST acceptable beginning draft of what I wrote out for Vis and Aequa after reading that scene in The Strength of the Few

Warning: Spoilers below

“Aequa.” I take a deep, deep breath, steadying myself for what will come. “I… have to tell you something.”

She shifts herself in my arms as she looks into my eyes, really looks with those blue eyes of hers. They look almost purple in the orange light of sunset. “Yes, Vis?” She murmurs softly.

I know telling her the truth, the reality of my past is risky, an unreasonable gamble and wholly unnecessary, but… I’m just so tired of it all. Hiding who I really am from people I have grown inextricably close to. Watching as they died —or came near to it, not knowing who I really was.

I remember Callidus, a person I genuinely considered my best friend, a bright soul and someone I had camaraderie with. I remember all those moments talking, eating, jesting with him, unknowingly turning him into one of the closest people I had ever known in the Catenan Republic. And I remember failing, failing to tell him who I really was that fateful day at the Iudicium.

He had later died not ever knowing who I was or where I really came from.

And almost so did Aequa.

She is as close to me as a friend as Callidus was, I realize. Close as a friend, and perhaps something other than that which I want to disentangle later on. But what I know for certain is, I trust her. Trust her enough to possibly entrust her with my deepest secret. The one that I hide with all my being. 

Our lives can be fleeting, and our ends utterly unpredictable, and everything that has happened to me over the years has shown exactly that. Decimus showed me that in the brief moments he held my friend at death’s edge. So I want… before anything happens to Aequa, for her to know who I am. Who I was.

[aadhube]

I just finished Strength of the Few by James Islington, and holy fucking shit....

(HEAVY SPOILERS FOR WILL OF THE MANY AND STRENGTH OF THE FEW, WARNING AHEAD)

I have been UTTERLY BROKEN by Aequa's brutal death in the last chapters of the book, holy shit. I shipped her with Vis so fucking bad.

This shit is fucking with my brain and preventing me from focusing on my original work. You know.... I really, really ought to pour my emotional turmoil into writing some fanfiction where she doesn't die.... This will be one of my first ganders into fanfic shipping and writing a fanfic around a book, but I think it will be worth it!

I think I understand fanfic writers, for the first time, so much now....

[aadhube]

Alright, so straight up....

I have been thinking about (SPOILERS) the disturbing death scene for Meldrene that I have written out, and I must say, while I'm sorta satisfied with the prose and how well it seems to conjure emotion in the reader (From those who have read it, at least), I am convinced that it would be more thematically impactful and less meaningless if it was Myren who dies in the same position.

Why do I say this? Because Meldrene dies a tad bit too many times already. She half-dies in her first life, then dies a proper death before being reset alongside Myren to an earlier time. With yet ANOTHER death of hers added on top of that, a death that she comes back from nontheless, that is 3 times she dies, as opposed to once for Myren.

The other reason is, Meldrene's plotline is overloaded as it is. So, (MAJOR SPOILERS BEWARE) the resurrection from that death is not meant to be consequence-free; it comes with an extremely hefty, hidden price that only reveals itself with extremely story-influencing implications later on. To be more precise, while there are two beings that can actually bring a person back from the fold of death, the good Goddess of Life they worship is not in a state to do it, unbeknowest to them. Thus, their resurrection by the daemonic equivalent comes with a tragic, malevolent price. That is, they unknowingly become one of the most powerful existing beacons in the world for daemons; wherever they walk, the world shifts closer to the daemonic realm and progressively stronger daemons can force their way into the world. Furthermore, it reveals much of the lay of the land around them to the top daemons of the other realm, where most of the human world lies in total darkness and mystery to those in there.

There are some reasons I believe it would be better to give this dubious honor to Myren.

Firstly, Meldrene is someone who already carries guilt from being forced to bear the powers and magicks of daemons, even unwillingly. Going further with that does have it's own thematic merit, but there is another argument for Myren, the pure, stalwart knight who never surrendered to daemonkind getting that kind of twisted curse snuck on him. It creates a parallel between them, a common point they can relate to, bond and comfort each other over. Myren is no longer a pure goody two shoes and Meldrene is no longer someone who gets commandeered by daemons over and over again...

Secondly, as previously mentioned, Meldrene's plotline is just so damn overloaded with so many things she needs to do, while Myren's is... largely retracing the same steps he took in his last life. Doing the same training, fighting the same battles and wars again, learning things he has already learnt, essentially very little actual progress, because he has already been doing as much as he could in his first life, while Meldrene largely daudled as the sheltered daughter of a High Lord, which means there is room for her to be far more active next time around. So, bringing a twist to Myren's storyline, by having far more unusual daemon encounters, as well as possibly a full daemonic invasion into his kingdom's territory previously thought impervious to such a thing, would be a better balance in my opinion.

And thirdly, I think it's just perhaps bad taste to kill off Meldrene to create trauma for Myren, only for her to get resurrected barely moments later. Instead, I think perhaps a scene that creates mutual trauma, with Myren powerlessly fighting back and seeing Meldrene's frantic, mad concern and attempts to stop Tesaris from killing him, while Meldrene obviously witnesses a persons she cares about getting killed with no way to stop it, would be more intriguing.

Also, the reason resurrecting Myren would feel less contrived than resurrecting Meldrene in this case, is that Meldrene would have to make the active choice to take the treasured, valuable amulet her late grandfather left her, literally a fragment of his soul, and use it to claim Myren back from the dead before it is too late. In the reverse case, Myren would obviously do this without hesitancy, since it was Meldrene who gifted it to him in the first place and he does not hate her, but in the case where it's Myren who dies, Meldrene has all these conflicting feelings over him, both positive and negative, that would satisfyingly culminate in deciding to use that last memory of her grandfather to bring him back.

Fourthly, I just didn't want to mindlessly copy a really harrowing scene I recently read in a book.... Yes, that scene came about first after I read a certain chapter in The Strength of the Few towards the end, and it was the first time in months a book consumed me so emotionally I wrote a scene loosely based off of that. Now, that was great writing practice and I don't regret writing under that kind of emotional influence since I don't normally write those kinds of scenes, but it's better to come up with stuff that makes sense for my story, even if I'm inspired.

Fifthly, killing Meldrene off for the third time just to temporarily fridge her feels really shitty.

@cervus-scribe @sarnai4 @meekhayl-reblog Tagging you guys since you read that particular scene. Let me know your thoughts!

[aadhube]

Character Study. What Myren would notice about Meldrene as he starts to see her in a more... different light

Her golden curls bounce with every step of hers.

She blows aside a strand of blonde hair from her face.

Her eyes of lavender bore into me.

The golden curls framing her face sway as she leans over.

She scrunches up her little upturned nose.

Her lavender eyes soften to an impossible tenderness.

She smiles brightly, cheeks dimpling.

The small purple pendant hanging against her neck.

The triskelion earrings that hang from her ear.

She licks her lips.

Her tongue darts out as she mocks me.

Her eyes gaze right into my soul.

My sight unwillingly darts from her eyes to her shockingly pink lips.

I try to tear my sight off of those wide, endearing lavender eyes only to end up on her lips instead.

Her slender hands tie the knots with a practiced motion.

She runs slender fingers through her mussed blonde hair.

Her silk-brocaded shoes clatter pleasantly against the polished marble.

She pats the small open space on the couch beside her, looking at me expectantly.

She flips through the pages with a practiced motion.

The setting sun casts one side of her face and her blonde hair in an enthralling golden glow.

She twists her body around in impossible flexibility with the same ease as I might have lifting a glass of water.

Her back is turned towards me, entirely bare as she leans out of the pondwater.

Her hand is warm against my face.

Her very presence warms up the chilly room.

She leans against me for a bit, and for that brief moment, I completely forget the biting cold.

I bring my hand up to cup her warm cheek, looking at me with those searching lavender eyes as she does nothing to stop my hand stroking her face.

Her hair is amazingly silky smooth as I run my hands through it.

Her hands pleasantly run through my hair with a distinct tingle shivering down my spine.

She wraps her silken-sleeved arms wholly around my neck, and as I'm pulled into the soft warmth of her embrace, I can do nothing but melt into it.

She pats my head with a jestful smile.

She gives my cheek a reassuring pat.

The warmth of her inexorable presence, leaning against my shoulder is enough to dispel the chill and all thoughts of backing away.

In the faint light of the crystallamp, I can see the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps.

[aadhube]

The harrowing, existential dread-inducing scene in first person I wrote for the final death of Viarden; an ancient, heroic saint knight whose death was interrupted by daemons so that he can be slaved to fight for their will.

He fights their unending battles until finally, my two heroes cut the shackles that bind him to the daemons, and he aids Meldrene in getting over the beginning throes of the same forced control that her own resurrection brought her. All before he sustains a mortal wound and perishes on the ground, with our two heroes tearily watching on.

Trigger Warning: Possible existential dread

I WARN YOU, THIS MIGHT CAUSE SEVERE EXISTENTIAL DREAD. PLEASE TAKE CARE.

Life itself blurs out from my view. The last things I see before my very body is whisked away, are Myren and Meldrene’s dual blue and purple eyes looking down on me. Bidding me a final goodbye.

Like that exhilarating time before, I feel my body raised up into the indistinct night sky again. The cool surface of my sword rests like a guardian against my chest as I accelerate and the scene around me blurs and reality itself seems to shift.

I am not alive anymore, not in the real world. I am… raised in an uncertain world of multiple colors swirling through space, themselves rushing by me as if I travel an impossibly fast journey up overhead.

And, just like before, the voices, the screams, the shouts and yells and the horrid screeching and roaring slowly start to fill in all around me. Dread and panic set in, making my nonexistent heart thump like a drum. The indistinct forms of beasts and daemons and otherworldly creatures flash all around me now, seeming as if to reach at me and attempt to drag me away from my course, just as it happened before.

But no horrific arm reaches in and pulls me out. All those combined limbs and bodies paw at an unseeable wall of protection that seems to erupt around my path, almost like a tunnel. I grip my mythril sword, Lauderiet tighter than I ever had in life. It’s Lauderiet. The godblessed metal is protecting me. Thank the Steelfather, my beloved blade holds the horrors of the void at bay by his blessing. I tremble and cry in joy and sorrow and all sorts of emotion that finally burst and blend together as the cries of monsters fade. Because it really is over. My life has come to an end, and I am leaving everything and everyone I knew, everything I did and believed, behind. Forever. There is no going back now. I cannot reverse my upward course. There is no changing my choices, no seeing the descendants of my loved ones, nor the two great heroes I saved again. There will be no wandering the beloved soil of home anymore. I feel all this as I soar up through an indistinct miasma, shaking and quivering from it all.

And yet… I am happy. Happier than I have perhaps ever been since I was forcefully resurrected. Because that light is nearing. The inexplicable Light that glimmers and grows at the center of my vision. I reach out for it, begging it to join and embrace me. I am filled with a surety that it is Finality. The End of Everything. Maybe then, I can finally relax, hang my sword up, rest knowing that I have done all I could in my long life back home. And maybe…. Maybe I could look on from above. See, and silently swell in pride for the twin heroes who cut me free, and for all humanity.

The Light is no more a twinkling star, but a blazing sun in front of me now. And a sense of calm washes over me, stilling all my frantic grappling over my life.

Then, slowly, it fills up half my vision.

Then, there is nothing else to see. And I feel as if I am reaching the end of the tunnel.

The last thing that I, as what you call Viarden see, is source of The Light that welcomes and ushers me into its heavenly grasp.