Aaron Hertzog

[aaronhertzog]

Hey Guys I Made Some Art So We Can All Think About What Technology is Doing to Us, You’re Welcome

[aaronhertzog]

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Oh yeah! Aaron is joined by comedian Diego Lopez (@diegolopezcomic) to have a great conversation that will brighten your day, teach you a thing or two, and make you laugh. Have fun!

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[aaronhertzog]

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Get ready! This week, Aaron is joined by Sue Smith (www.suesmithcomedy.com) to talk about therapy, strangers being annoying on the train, feeling bad for Kardashians, and the fear of being a bad feminist. Don't just listen, have fun while you do!

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Here we go again! Madonna Refugia joins Aaron to talk about a character for her upcoming one woman show inspired by the Babysitters Club, and mental illness. Check out all things Madonna at www.notthatmadonna.com

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[aaronhertzog]

My Empire State of Mind

Hey there's a building, and there's another one  look another building, holy shit another one. How about the people, lotsa people over there, and there’s people there too, man there’s people everywhere. I could eat some pizza, hey there’s a pizza place and another pizza place, yet another pizza place. How could all these pizza joints, all do any business? Oh, wait a minute, lotsa people everywhere I guess. Is that the same building that I said I saw before? It looks like the same building, but I can’t tell anymore. Pizza, people, buildings, that’s all I ever see. Oh shit I just almost got hit by a car in the street.

Cause I was lookin’ at buildings - thinkin’ ‘bout pizza. Also watching people, watching them eat pizza. Greatest city in the world. People, pizza, buildings. Pizza pizza buildings people pizza pizza people in New York - concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

[aaronhertzog]

Comedy Jawn is tomorrow night at Boot & Saddle!

Get your tickets!

[aaronhertzog]

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Surprise! Aaron's back a day early and he's joined by sweet-boy comedian Tim Unkenholz to talk about Tim's time as bad boy punk rebel Disney World employee. Enjoy the episode, live your best life, and follow Tim on Twitter @timunken

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Oh, hello. This week, Aaron is joined by comedian Sam Evans, then the two white men talk about racism for a little while. Don't worry, both of them are anti-racism. Really brave of both of them if you ask me. Who am I? well I'm Aaron, the host. Sam is super funny, you should follow him on Twitter @ReallySamEvans. Thanks!

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[aaronhertzog]

"Hey, these jerseys need to say SUNS upside down too so our players can look down and know who they're playing for!"

[lukegiordano-deactivated2018091]

This week on Teddy & Batts, the pals use their powers of Best Friendship to solve a bear problem.

[aaronhertzog]

Check out Luke’s animated web series “Teddy & Batts” - it’s very funny and animating things is very hard work so Luke will probably appreciate it.

[aaronhertzog]

Comedian and writer Josh Gondelman joins Aaron this week to talk about being put on the spot, strange requests, and getting way off track. Check out Josh's album "Physical Whisper" and more on his website www.joshgondelman.com

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Comedian Chris Calogero joins Aaron this week to talk about bathroom stuff. Look, don't pretend it's gross, OK, everybody goes to the bathroom. Just listen, OK. Check out Chris' podcast Mourning Coffee on iTunes and check out all things Chris at www.chriscalogero.com

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[aaronhertzog]

Help! I Tried to Watch the NBA Finals and Game of Thrones at the Same Time and Got my Notes All Mixed Up!

There’s no defense for all this hot fire they’re shooting!

Something about this baby-face dude I just don’t like...

It’d be pretty cool if they DID end this in a one-on-one battle, but I just don’t think they will.

Yeah, one squad may have the numbers, but the other side’s got THE CHOSEN ONE.

I don’t know if battles have been won against greater odds - you might be wrong on this one, dude.

It definitely would be cruel to bring him all the way back just to lose again.

This little dude doesn’t let his small size be a disadvantage.

Their dads played against each other - but they’re on the same team now!

This is very tense.

No way he hits that shot from so far away.

Oh, fuck, he hit it!

Oh, you can shoot? Well, we can shoot too!

Win or Lose this dude should be the MVP.

But his buddy sure did save his ass right there.

Sometimes, he tries to do too much, but when it works, he’s pretty great.

Get up! Get up! This doesn’t end with you on the ground.

Where were you this whole time?

Oh, your home turf ain’t as much of an advantage as you thought, is it?

I didn’t know if the giant could be killed.

If you miss that many shots you’re bound to get punched in the face.

Hang that banner, you’ve earned it.

[aaronhertzog]

A Thoughtful Analysis of a Question I Proposed on Twitter

The Tweet:

Better Comeback? 2016: Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Golden State Warriors OR 1997: "The jerk store called and they're running out of you!"

— Aaron Hertzog (@aaronhertzog) June 20, 2016

The Analysis:

While the line “The jerk store called and they’re running out of you” is very funny, its merits as a comeback are somewhat lacking. Not only does George set his opponent up for his “you’re their biggest seller!” retort - calling somebody a jerk doesn’t really accomplish much if your aim is to bring them down with a caustic jab. Yeah, they’re a jerk, they probably know that, and calling them a jerk only lets them know they hurt your feelings. Hurting your feelings was probably their goal, since they’re a jerk and all, so you’re just letting them know they’ve succeeded. That’s not what you want to do in a game of wits!

The Decision:

The Cleveland Cavaliers had the better comeback.

[aaronhertzog]

We Should ABSOLUTELY Blame Parents When Bad Things Happen to Their Children

First, let me address the elephant in the room. No, I am not a parent - but if I was I would keep one eye on my children, and the other on the dangerous elephant that is always in the room with us. My third eye would, as always, be contemplating the meaning of existence.

Yeah, kids are crazy. They run around, they have a lot of energy. When you decide to have a child you’re also making a decision to keep up with them, at all times, no matter what, or you are a flat out a bad person. Good people take care of what is important to them, whether that is a child, or a pet, or their valuable possessions.

Furthermore

Hey, this is a different guy now writing this. If anybody knows this Aaron guy let him know I have his laptop. I found it on a bench in a park. He forgot it there, right in the middle of posting this. Kinda strange he would be so careless with such an important possession, especially considering his above opinions. Whatever, I try not to judge people, you never really know their situations. Anyways, tell him he can find me in the park where he left his laptop. Same bench. That’s where I live. 

[aaronhertzog]

Oh my goodness gracious, the Have You Heard This? Podcast is back! Aaron is joined by comedian Patrick Hastie to talk about moving to New York City, and lying to people to get them to like you. Check out all things Patrick, including his podcast "We Moved Here for Podcast" online at http://patrickhastie.com

Subscribe on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/have-you-heard-this/id875138387