I Spew Random Shit In Your Direction

[thepigeongazette]

‘murica!!!!    Happy (early) 4th of July :)

P.S.: I know Gordon Ramsay’s Scottish, it’s just that he’s so ubiquitous now in American cooking competitions. Also not trying to downplay his international culinary achievements!

[old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary]

[tastefullyoffensive]

She’s ready to party. (via doIIpxrts)

[exit152]

if ur feeling desperately sad this summer, wait until it gets dark and half quiet and then open a window. cool air and passing cars are gonna heal ur heart. i promise

[jimbowned]

I’ll take “things people who don’t understand clinical depression say” for $500,Alec.

[exit152]

hmmm interesting theory considering how I’m on 40 mg of Prozac daily & see a therapist regularly bcuz I’m actively suicidal the majority of the time but sure, go ahead & be a dick on my light hearted post about something small u can do to momentarily relieve some of the crushing burden on ur life lol

[himejoshikomaeda]

[babyfairy]

opinion on Breakeven by The Script?

what is that…..

[sailormixt-deactivated20170326]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY WHEN I’M ALL CHOKED UP AND YOU’RE OK I’M FALLING TO PIIIIIIIIIEEEEEECCCCCEEEESSSSS

[timbllr]

[info-cultist]

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Human Vs Door

I had the pleasure of being the DM to a casual game of DnD.

me: you approach the unlocked wooden door. What do you do?

our party’s paladin: I roll to kick the door down!! *rolls a nat1*

me, a somewhat forgiving dm: you successfully kick through the door, however your leg is stuck and it has not actually opened.

-we go through a round of turns in which every other party member merely walks through the door and observes the next chamber-

me: alright paladin, what is your move?

paladin: …

paladin: I roll to kick my other foot through the door and set myself free! *somehow rolls ANOTHER nat 1*

-our entire party cracks up as now the paladin has both feet stuck through the door. We do, however, successfully complete the dungeon and move onto another-

me: you come to a stone door which is visibly locked.

paladin:  :)

me: oh my god

paladin: I punch the door, trying to break it *rolls yet another nat 1*

-our rogue successfully opens the door and frees the paladin, when they come to a second locked door-

paladin: :)

rogue: no

me: no

druid: no

paladin: I roll to pick the lock with my finger *rolls another nat 1, getting finger stuck in lock*

-a turn passes-

paladin: I roll to pick the lock with my finger again *somehow rolls a nat 20*

paladin: :)

everyone else: oh my god

[cali-cocaine]

this is good

[embyrr922]

I’d just like to add, see how they behave when they’re angry/frustrated/exhausted, and if you see something that concerns you, wait until they’re calm, and then talk to them about it.

My husband used to yell when he got frustrated, but after I explained to him that I found it upsetting, he stopped yelling and started consciously working on asking for help before he got to that level of frustration.

When I’m upset over something, or just in a bad mood, I tend to withdraw. My husband explained to me that it makes him feel like I’m mad at him, so now when I need some space, I’ll tell him what I’m upset about, or that I’m in a bad mood for no particular reason, and I need to be alone for a little while.

See your friends and partners at their worst, but don’t assume that their worst is immutable. If someone loves and cares about you, they’ll try to accommodate you to the best of their ability.

[epitoma-rei-militaris-deactivat]

Happy Independence Day!!!!!! MERICA FUCK YEAH !!!!!!!

[sattelite-of-love]

happy 4th

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

who else is literally dead but keeps coming back n doing this shit

[sheikofthesheikah]

ive been sitting on a phone call with a guy from microsoft for an hour now after my computer crashed so he can help me re-upgrade to win10 and 99% of it has been pure silence but 5 mins ago he asked me if he can go pee.

i told him bro u been sittin here watching my slow ass computer install windows 10 for over 50 minutes you can go make yourself a cup of tea and a sandwich if you want.

[sheikofthesheikah]

he came back and apologised for making me wait for him but he said he made a sandwich and a coffee and now he’s chilling at his desk having a bite to eat and we’re just hanging out watching my percentage climb.

[sheikofthesheikah]

im getting jack of the silence so i asked him where he’s from bc he has an accent and theres a slight delay and he said he’s in the philippines so now we’re talking about the girl who won silver in the weightlifting at rio and he’s so proud of her its adorable.

[sheikofthesheikah]

apparently it’s the first medal the philippines has won since the olympics in 1996 so this woman is a hero over there rn. i love hearing underdog stories i want to hear more.

[sheikofthesheikah]

shit boy now we’re talking about how countries like the US and australia are disappointed when they dont win gold medals but athletes from countries like the philippines are the pride of the nation if they even place and how it suggestive of the values of first world countries

BOY THIS IS GETTING DEEP

[sheikofthesheikah]

we’re two hours in and i asked him what his record was for the longest phone call and he said five and a half.

bRO. FIVE HOURS ON THE DAMN PHONE HOW DOES A MOFO DEAL WITH THAT. 

[sheikofthesheikah]

im on hold again bc his supervisor wants something but apparently the five and a half hour phone call was because a guy was mad that he couldn’t figure out how to work windows 8 when he got a new computer so my tech guy spent nearly six hours teaching him how to use a fucking operating system.

this guy has the patience of a damn saint can we give him a medal or something like lets give the philippines their second medal in 20 years pleASE.

[sheikofthesheikah]

my computer finally entered its boot-reboot stage after installation and he asked me in the most polite way humanely possible if we could perhaps end the call and he will call me back tomorrow to make sure the upgrade finished properly.

this guy just spent over two hours chilling on the phone with me and he’s still gonna call me back tomorrow just to check that everything is ok.

i feel like ive entered a new plane of existence.

[sheikofthesheikah]

UPDATE

he called me back like he promised he would and asked whether everything was okay, and i told him it was and that ive reinstalled everything.

he said he was so happy that my computer is working again and that he was so glad that i was his customer because he’s not used to being able to chat and talk with the people on the other end just for the hell of it and it made his day yesterday.

his supervisor got on the phone and i gave him a glowing review, she said shes going to email me a survey so i can put it all on paper so he has the physical feedback to his name.

honestly that just made the whole stress of my computer crashing its pants so much better.

also his name is jhon. 

[atlasonstandby]

@141-point-12

happy early birthday

[weloveshortvideos]

This is how I close my store

[satannnsdeity6969]

Tried new blunts

[weloveshortvideos]

“Aw Jim you sucked it like it was fucking dick”

[gif-tv]