Mei’s Journal
In the wake of the night, I feared your existence would no longer beside me; I feared that even the slightest of accidents, I could lose you forever. In the nights at which I contemplate and give my deepest thoughts a dearest place in my heart, I yearn for your presence. In the nights which I spent a lot of my time thinking about you, I only had coffee to calm my soul and slow, fuzzy, bluesy rock song to accompany me throughout the late night adventures. While the lights out and the streets are cold and haunting as flickering lights and broken neon bulbs decorated the silence, my eyes are crying, keeping a forlorn hope of a presence it yearns, and who am I have been missing is you, Yuzu.
Ever since you took that job, I wonder when will you come home to me, back to the couch we used to share hugs and kisses. Back to the moderate budget soap operas that you used to like so much, back to the rainy days that shared our heart's doubts. Back to that ramen shop where the owners know you so well that when we visited them, they are all already know what's your favourite.
Torrential rain poured down today. There are storm warning and possible flooding will occur if the rain continues until tomorrow evening. With a cup of coffee wrapped in my hands, I took a seat on the windowsill. Looking at the heavy rain outside as the song reaches its end. The song finally ends in an echo that gradually becomes quieter and quieter. The rain let up a bit and the playlist plays another song, it was set on shuffle play.
The coffee went cold faster than I sipped it. The windowsill on which I sat now gone colder and the loneliness soon turned into a deadlier loneliness. The rain let up as I thought about you, your presence, and how I miss you each and every day. Without you, the city looks deserted, looks like a desert, even. Empty, barren, bleak, hopeless… arid and with more emptiness than ever. Sitting on the windowsill with fuzzy, psychedelic stoner rock was only another dose of escaping from reality. It calms me down and soothes my soul.
A sleepy sensation came after I sipped the coffee. As the rain pounding the awning of a store in front of my room, and the cicadas having their concert in the backyard, and yet my eyes won't shut - lying on the couch, eyes open staring at the emptiness, looks like a person dying after getting shot in the chest in a homicide.
Was trying to sleep. Only to feel a longing for your presence.
I've waited for so long,
Yet you never come.
You never come.
"Longing…" Mei Aihara
27th of August
