march 20, 8:20 am
There he is, on his desk, talking with his friends. I'm trying my best not to fall in love again every time his gaze follows mine, with those hazel brown eyes... Well, i guess that's all for now, prof just entered the class.
9:40 am
Tedious math equations cause so much headaches but when I look at him, everything just fades away, everything bad just fades away. He's standing up from his chair and is walking... to me??? wait, no, im not prepared, what will i say, i stutter when im nervous, ill embarrass myself when i talk to him...
oh, he was walking over to the girl in front of me... the girl who's barely passing classes. pretty sure she's not his type but still, how can i compare to a girl. it's not like he's gay after all...
since it's nearing graduation, im gonna confess to him after class. after class, trust, we will be holding hands.
i looked at him again, and a wind from the window turned a page from my diary— to page 1
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june 16th, 8:50 am
the class president helped me to navigate the school and even escorted me to class. im pretty sure kenji's just doing his duty because im a transfer student but this is the first time someone takes care of me from someone in school.
6:00 pm
i swear im not a stalker but i think i know what block kenji lives. i didn't know we walked the same street until halfway that i realized im walking behind him, behind his black ita bag filled with many pins (now that im thinking, i think i saw a doraemon pin too). im pretty sure im falling in love too fast but i feel like this will be something more... well i hope so
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1:50 pm
class pres is dozing off in class. i wish i could comfort him right now, he had a school meeting for all the officers and a test right after. I've also noticed that he had already drank 3 coffees. i wish i could hug him, try to make all his tiredness go away... still, he looks so cute resisting falling asleep at class
4:30 pm
i stared at the classroom's wall clock, ticking to 4:31 pm.
i looked at kenji, already packing his pens and books. some students are already leaving the class, i sighed. i closed my diary, collecting my pens, and placing it in my bag. i turned to look at kenji on his seat to find that... he's missing. i hurriedly took my bag and headed to the door, slowing down as i exit so people won't see me as a weird stalker...
looking at the hallway, students are chatting, leaving, and laughing, but there's no kenji in sight.
"tomorrow... ill confess", i said under my breath.
walking to the street we passed by, i started to reminisce about how he is so observant, always seeing me when i made a mistake and helping me to correct it. how he's so humble, not bragging about his class placement. how he's strict but has the loudest laugh when the class clown makes a joke. how his eyes looks so ethereal when he looks at my direction—
i tripped
i tripped over a stupid stone, in front of the 7/11 that i always pass by, the 7/11 where he always go, the 7/11 where he bought me a popsicle as a treat. "ughhh, today's just not my day...", i heard the 7/11 doors jingle as someone left. i brushed off dust on my knees and legs with disappointment, not wanting to stand up anymore, lamenting in my misfortune.
"uhm... hey, are you alright? i saw you tripped and i bought a band-aid for you..." kenji said, handing me a band-aid. the sunset made a perfect orange ring behind him, he looks so majestic. the way the orange sky reflects on his skin makes it so—
"hellooo?", he said, waving his hand over me. i snapped out the trance, and realized my predicament. "y-yea, im here", i took the band-aid. "thank you for this, pres", i said as i lay it on my bruise. i look up to him again, this time, he's offering his hands to me... "no prob, im doing the best that i can", he flashes a smile. i looked at his hand for a while...
at last, trying not to look any more pathetic, i held his hands. his rough, calloused hand, probably because of basketball matches, the same basketball matches that made me interested in sports. i looked at him, the sunset giving him an orange halo, framing his face with so much spirit. this is heaven itself, and he's the angel...
"(name)? hello??? did you spaced out again?". a second time, he snapped me out of my thoughts— my thoughts about him. okay, stop it, it's time to get up. I've been on this floor for an unbelievably short but seemingly long time. i clenched his hand, using it as a leverage to pull myself up.
"im sorry for being a nuisance", brushing sand and gravel off my pants and hand. i unconsciously swept my overgrown bangs to the side, "thanks for the band-aid but i didn't get scratched on the knees... sorry". "you really like apologizing, huh?", he teased. "yea... it's kind of my mannerisms now".
rubbing the back of his neck while the other hand is offering me the bought band-aid, "still... take this band-aid, it has a keroppi design, your favorite"
there was silence, a silence broken by me
"how'd you know?", i ask, staring at his brown eyes.
at a split second i saw pink pigments on his cheeks, that was quickly covered by his big, rough hands. he took my hand and hastily placed the keroppi band-aid before running away.
6:20 pm
it's weird to write everything down, but there's nothing wrong with noteing important memories, right? okay maybe not everything is an important memory, but you know what i mean... who am i even talking to right now.
anyways, dear diary, tomorrow is a friday, so ill write a love letter for him, asking if he can go to the school's garden after class. I PROMISE I'LL NOT BE A COWARDDDD. ill say everything to him, now that tomorrow will probably be the last day we'll meet each other before graduation...
also did you see kenji? he looks so good blushing, well he looks good in everything really, but im still wondering... why was he blushing? i mean i just asked a simple question, right? ehhh WAS HE WEIRDED OUT???? AAAHHHHHH im such a loserrrrr... that's all for today, diary, ill write everything about what will happen tomorrow!!!
