I wanna have my big privileges taken away by a “real adult”
Please please please, hear me out:
🍼Every time I try to talk, shush me. Grown ups get to talk, not babies. Gently put my paci back in my mouth and smirk at me.
🍼Always treat me the same way no matter who’s around. Babies don’t get any dignity, so why should I?? Your friends, my old “big” friends, your family, it doesn’t matter. Let the grown ups do the thinking.
🍼Hold my hand everywhere we go so I don’t get lost, and hold it so tight it hurts when I try to let go. Embarrass me and scold me in public, make it clear to everyone that I’m not an adult worth respecting.
🍼Check my diaper no matter where we are. Out at a restaurant? Pants down around my ankles anyway, grown ups need to check thoroughly after all. We have friends over at our house? I shouldn’t be wearing pants at home anyway, no cover at all for my diaper. Mommy/daddies precious little one isn’t allowed to hide their pissy pampers, no matter who’s over. No dignity.
🍼Refuse to leave me alone in the house. 26 years old? No, I’m 26 months old you assure me, I can’t be trusted alone. You’ll hire a babysitter to watch me, and they’re to be treated with the exact same respect I would treat any other grown up. Who cares if they’re “younger” than me? Babies who aren’t potty trained don’t get to complain about who’s in charge.
🍼Set firm rules, and when I break them, punish me. Follow through, all the time, always. I want you to put so much fear in me that I’m conditioned not to break your rules. Make me sleep outside like a dog. Rip my pampers down and spank me so hard I cry. Slap me and laugh at how weak I am and how I can’t fight back.
🍼My phone?? Nope. That’s for grown ups. I can have a “pretend” phone instead (it’s just a bright piece of plastic with fake buttons) who was I gonna talk to anyway?? I can’t even spell, I’m just a stupid toddler.
🍼Schedule play dates for me with other Little’s. Humiliate me in front of them, and encourage them and their caregiver to laugh along with you about how pathetic I am. “Oh sweetieee, did you piss your pants again?? God, I can smell you from here EW” orrr “sit down little ones it’s time to eat! Yep, you can have a slice of pizza honey absolutely! Not my little one though, get into your high chair so I can give you your nummy nummy baby foods!”
If you wanna act like a baby, you’ll get treated like one.























