Abel official

Son of Eve, brother of Cain (and Seth too I guess)

[abel-official]

Introduction post

I am Abel and I am a Shepard.

God prefers me to my brothers, so there.

My favourite colour is red

Update: it is now pink

I like quesadillas

I also run @mrwilliamsherlockscottholmes and @the-monster-tournament (please take part in my polls :3)

My favourite movie is Labyrinth

[abel-official]

You know who Hugh Laurie is because of House

I know him from Blackadder

[abel-official]

You know who Hugh Laurie is because of House

I know him from Blackadder

[mixxtheo]

I know him from that episode of the Young Ones where he, Stephen, Emma doing the Oxbridge team against the gang

But the point still stands lol

[abel-official]

lmao

[abel-official]

What the hell did Blondie mean by

"Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's fly"

And then talk about eating cars...

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

how do you read "op"

original poster

original person

oh-pee

ahp (pronouncing it as a word)

overpowered (gamer moment)

something else

I can't read

Remaining time: 7 hours 49 minutes

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

Blah blah sample size you get it

[abel-official]

Ohh pee

[abel-official]

It terrifies me to think that people I know in real life can read my posts

[satan-offical]

As soon as I turn 18 I'm gonna submit myself into the Sexy Woman contests and watch as I loose to Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs

[satan-offical]

Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs is not a real thing btw yeah I can see you reaching for the search bar

[idontknowhowtoplayguitar]

She is now

[satan-offical]

You've locked me into a future of failure

[abel-official]

@sexy-people-contests-2026

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Me hoping with my entire heart that I don’t have to deal with this in 3 years

[abel-official]

Oh I really hope you do

[satan-offical]

As soon as I turn 18 I'm gonna submit myself into the Sexy Woman contests and watch as I loose to Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs

[satan-offical]

Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs is not a real thing btw yeah I can see you reaching for the search bar

[idontknowhowtoplayguitar]

She is now

[satan-offical]

You've locked me into a future of failure

[abel-official]

@sexy-people-contests-2026

[sistersorrow]

I wonder what America's gonna be like in 50 years, cause after the shitshow that has been the last 10 years, how can anyone plan around them when every four years you just have to hope the next president isn't someone who thinks nuclear weapons can force open the gates of heaven

[virginbandliker]

"so get this"

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update:

[rainbowselfies]

[blvckgeezus]

Such a developing story.

[pastdueeverything]

I love this story

[athenadcvell]

This was a wild ride from start to finish

[gambit-of-a-small-rabbit-deacti]

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

[nitramaraho]

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

[demigoddessqueens]

I found it!! The original post!!

[urcadelimabean]

HAS SHE SEEN SINNERS

[madenthusiasms]

Preferably when she wasn’t wearing the retainer.

[abel-official]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame ?

[dailymarvelheroes]

get you a man who can do both

[nitramaraho]

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

[crystalitesummerstar]

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

[buzzfeed]

We interviewed her, obviously.

[buzzfeed]

update:

[rainbowselfies]

[blvckgeezus]

Such a developing story.

[pastdueeverything]

I love this story

[athenadcvell]

This was a wild ride from start to finish

[gambit-of-a-small-rabbit-deacti]

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

[nitramaraho]

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

[demigoddessqueens]

I found it!! The original post!!

[urcadelimabean]

HAS SHE SEEN SINNERS

[madenthusiasms]

Preferably when she wasn’t wearing the retainer.

[killer-offical]

getting freaky with victims before killing them /consensually

[killer-offical]

getting freaky with my potential victims instead of killing them**

[killer-offical]

OKAY LISTEN you freaks. THIS refers to targets that I seduce (my FOOD, I'm a CANNIBAL). YOU CAN'T HIRE ME TO KILL YOU AND EXPECT THIS. STOP DOING THIS. I'm literally gonna throw everyone who tries to hire me to kill them in the meat grinder. I'm sick of all you people, I'm not even gonna torture you, straight to the meat grinder

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

did you try making them stub ever single toe BEFORE chucking ‘em in the meatgrinder?

make it LAST

[killer-offical]

Theres a freak for everything, I'm not risking it

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

masochists

[archangel-uriel-offical]

HAPPY OFIFCALVERSE DAY!!!

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

YEAHHHHHHH

[thebrainisnaturesnotepad]

let’s take ibuprofen together

[null-the-void-monarch-offical]

Do you have a headache? I got ibuprofen

[jackafz]

[cletusthurstonbeauregard]

That’s Memorial Day in the US this year.

[no-one-offical]

‎

[oero-fo-gnik]

We should highkey bring this back but instead of pics maybe something like drawings?

[king-of-oreo]

Yes yes yes yes yes

We totally should

[mine-my-love-all-mine]

YESYES

And for people who can’t draw me we can have picrews

[king-of-oreo]

Everyone

25 of mayyyyy

[mrwilliamsherlockscottholmes]

PSA: 25TH OF MAY IS PROM

Save the date

@jawnsunappreciatedmoustache @rinpossibly @aiko-sera

[rinpossibly]

@threepigeonsinasuitcase

[mrwilliamsherlockscottholmes]

Simp

[rinpossibly]

[mrwilliamsherlockscottholmes]

HOW DID TOU GET THAT PHOTO PF ME??

[britain-offical]

pepsi and coca cola are exes. I will now take questions

[purpfr]

What role does Dr. Pepper play?

[britain-offical]

in a secret relationship with coca colas cousin, cherry coke.

[sokeefe-destiel-shipper]

is sprite the divorced child of pepsi and coke?

[britain-offical]

no omg, sprite is in love with his very adventurous husband mountain dew, they are also the only person that knows about cherry coke and Dr pepper

[inkanddragons]

What happened to diet pepsi?

[britain-offical]

annoying "health nut" Aunt at family gatherings that everyone hates

[halberdspectre]

What about Irn Bru?

[britain-offical]

Loudest man you will ever meet, also a bear. (in a gay way)

[caffeineoverdosed]

what about blue monster?

[britain-offical]

in a t4t relationship with pink monster

[abel-official]

So then why was it that when "coca cola came to town, diet pepsi shot him down"...