It Takes A Lifetime To Die Yet No Time At All

My love of books is indescribable and unlimited. Doot doot~

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #1582

“And that’s…not blood.” The villain lent in closer, almost entranced by the ultramarine slime oozing from the hero’s broken chest. “What are you?”

‘Wrong question,’ hissed a voice, sibilant and deep. ‘[Hero] was human. But I- I am something much more than that.’

“So what are you?”

‘Ancient. Fathomless. Beyond your comprehension. I thank you for giving me free reign of this form. It will suit me nicely.’

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #1592

“It’s a simple ethics problem,” said the villain, pressing the knife into the hero’s shaking hand. “You kill your sidekick, or the whole city dies. One life, or thousands. It should be an easy choice.”

“But they’re just a child-”

“There are lots of children in the city, hero. Choose quickly now, or you’ll ruin my experiment. And if you ruin my experiment, I’ll eradicate all my test subjects and move on to the next city.” Their eyes narrowed. “Choose. Now.”

[screamingatanemptyroom]

The room was claustrophobic, as if all the air had been sucked out of it. On one side stood the villain, standing tall, comfortable. They chuckled quietly, a cheerful observer to the other occupant’s discomfort. On the other side, almost a complete opposite picture, stood the hero. They were breathing hard from the exertion of the fights it took to get here, slow painful gasps whistling out through chapped, bloody lips.  They clutched one side, blood seeping through their fingers in a slow trickle. With slow, painful movements, they straightened up to their full height, their eyes filled with determination.

“I won’t let you destroy the world.” The hero’s tone was final, completely without hesitation.

The villain’s smile widened in response. “Good! I was hoping you would say that.” 

They pressed a button on the remote in their hand, waving the other dramatically as two walls to either side of them slid back, revealing the room to be much bigger than the hero had initially believed. The hero looked over, stopping completely with shock.

“No.” A simple whispered word. Denying reality.

One revealed wall showed rows and rows of screens. Each showed different public places. People crossing the street, an elderly woman feeding pigeons on a park bench, children playing in a playground. In the middle of all of these screens were large red numbers, slowly counting down. It was showing the hero exactly what was at stake, all of the innocent lives that would be lost if the villains’ plans succeeded.

But that wasn’t what caused the hero to freeze.

It was the other revealed wall, where a single chair stood. Tied to the chair was a small, youthful figure, tightly bound and unable to move. Bright green eyes peered over the large gag pulled across the small mouth beneath them. Tears slowly filled up, spilling over to soak the fabric. To any causal passerby, it would appear to be a scared, kidnapped child, an innocent bystander.

But the hero knew better. 

It was their sidekick.

The villain stepped forward, their steps tapping loudly against cement floor. Their hand reached out, pulling on the hero’s suddenly limp arm.

“It’s a simple ethics problem,” A pleased grin stretched at the villain’s features, as they pressed a knife into the hero’s shaking hand. “You kill your sidekick, or the whole city dies. One life, or thousands. It should be an easy choice.”

“…” The Hero was frozen, staring at the bound figure with a confused expression. It was as if they couldn’t accept the reality before them. Shaking themselves slightly, they turned towards the villain, coming up with a belated argument.

““But they’re just a child-”

“There are lots of children in the city, hero. Choose quickly now, or you’ll ruin my experiment. And if you ruin my experiment, I’ll eradicate all my test subjects and move on to the next city.” Their eyes narrowed. “Choose. Now.”

The Hero looked over at the screens to one side, showing all of the innocent civilians going about their every day lives, unaware of how close to death they truly were. They looked over to the chair on the other side, at the figure who stared at them with a pleading expression. Finally their eyes drifted down, settling on the knife clutched in their hand.

“Time is running out, Hero.” The Villain stepped back, spreading their arms in a grand gesture. “What do you choose?”

The Hero stared at them for a few silent moments, and then threw their head back and laughed.

Not a nervous chuckle. Not an awkward snicker or giggle. A full bellied laugh, filling the space between them, increasing the tension in the room.

“What’s so funny?!” The villain couldn’t hide the slightly panicked tone behind their words. This was not a part of the plan.

“You.” The hero finally calmed down, wiping away the tears from their eyes with a sigh. “I’m the hero,remember?”

“What does that…?”

“Did you really think I would drag around a CHILD as a sidekick?”

“…” The villain turned slowly to the bound figure, who stared back, large eyes filled with undisguised mirth.

“You made a two terrible assumptions, Villain.” The Hero raised the knife. “First, that I could kill them, even armed, even if I wanted to. That they were human enough to be killed, something I’m not sure is even possible.”

The knife clattered to the cement floor.

“Wh- what was the second?” The Villain backed away slowly.

The hero smiled. “That you were the one in control of this situation.” They turned towards the chair. “You can stop playing games now.”

“Hmph.” The ropes binding the being that appeared to be a child snapped easily. They leapt to their feet, brushing themselves off and ripping off their gag with a sigh. With a chuckle they reached into a hidden pocket in the chest of their brightly colored super suit, pulling out a thin cloth mask, tying it across their face. Finishing their task, they struck a pose with a silly grin.

“How do I look?”

The Hero rolled their eyes. “Like a child.”

“Great!”

The Villain, turning pale, held up a large remote, pointing to a glowing red button. “I don’t know what you are, but if I press this button the city is…”

The “child” moved faster than the eye could follow. The remote was snatched out of the Villain’s hands, and broken into a thousand pieces. The youthful face looked up at the villain, a bright light shining out of their green eyes, glowing from within. The Villain shuddered, trying to look away but unable to.

“No one breaks my toys but me.” The sidekick laughed, a sound that grated on the ear, one that no human throat could make.  

“What are you?” A broken whisper, hiding a terrified scream escaped from the Villain’s mouth. 

The child-like being held up a single finger to their lips, making a quiet shushing sound. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. “ Their grin widened and even the Hero had to look away in fear.

“I’m just the sidekick.”

[gingerly-writing]

OH SHIT THAT SIDEKICK IS FREAKY!

I love that you’ve joined me on the capes-crossed-with-eldritch-beings kick! it’s a very specific area but by god it’s so so much fun, and I love love love what you’ve done with it! I was definitely expecting a self-sacrifice or villain-murder ending, and you took me completely by surprise which I always adore! how you consistently manage to take prompts that I literally wrote and shock me with your twists is simply an incredible gift!!

ps. absolutely loved Baby’s First Revenge, I want to reread the whole thing soon (if I can snatch the time) so I can leave a proper review!

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #1584

‘YOU KILLED MY HOST.’ The voice roared around the abandoned docklands, echoing off every scrap of metal and the river waves. ‘MY HUMAN. MY FAVOURITE. HOW DARE YOU! SHOW YOURSELF AND FACE ME.’

The villain said nothing, pulse roaring in their ears as they continued to flee across the warehouse rooftops. What in heaven’s name was that thing, and what had it been doing inside the hero? It explained how the hero had survived a few nasty accidents in the past, but apparently even an eldritch monster residing in their stomach hadn’t been able to save them from a point blank shot to the head. 

‘COME BACK SO I CAN RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND FEED YOUR ETERNAL CONSCIOUSNESS TO THE VOID.’

They were starting to regret taking that shot now.

[dreamerandschemer]

The Villain was running.

This, in itself, was not necessarily unusual for them - being a superhero, or supervillain, as the case was, often involved a lot of physical activity (and physics-defying activity).

However, what was unusual was the fact they were running the fuck away, because there was a little too much of that physics-defying activity. And, most importantly, it centered around the fact that there was something back there that very much wanted to kill them.

The ground beneath their feet was already shaking, a tremor that didn’t lessen the further they went, leaps taking them over rooftops that seemed to only grow farther apart and more slippery as they ran. They had crossed them on the way to the particular dock just hours ago, but the Villain hadn’t even been expecting to see the Hero, much less to a close encounter and a ten-second window for the perfect shot to get the Hero off their back forever. (For eternity.)

<Y̊ͫͤ̏Ö́ͣ͒Uͭͦ͝ ͆̂́ͯ̊ͬK҉I͂ͪͫ́͋͞L̓L̴̂ͭ̅̋̂̓Eͨ̾͟D͒͊̔ ͞M̂ͬY̧͊ ͤH͞Oͩ̂̑͋͑S̊́T̎̔̔̿͌ͭ͞>

It had just been luck. Chance. And that was the crux of it all, wasn’t it?

It had seemed to be a good day, this morning. The Villain had gotten up, had a productive few hours at the mostly-normal-sort-of-job they were planning to quit as soon as their next heist succeeded, had heard that a rival villain had suddenly cleared out of town and maybe, just maybe, left their multi-million dollar equipment behind.

<C̿͆̍Ŏ͝M̸ͯͥEͦ̂ͦ͛ͤ̈̒ B̨ͫ̑͒̐͑͗̉A̶͂̋̓̈́̾Cͪ̽ͨ͜K̴̀ͦͪ ́>

That was the sort of thing they’d been gearing up for for this evening - a bit of a scuffle, clearing off with some stuff they could sell. Not what was probably going to be their Death, and not the kind of death anyone with decent connections could get out of. Or the type of death-that-was-actually-faked death that they’d been planning for next month.

<R̉͌͂̏ͧ́I̵͛̈̾ͯͫP̵̋ ͌YȌ́ͪ͋Ųͣ̆̓ͯ̅̿ ̏͆̅L͒̾͛͗ͪȈ̵̚M͆̀ͣ̚B̨̒̿̌ ̡̈́̓ͩḞ͂̊̏͆̊҉R͆͌͛ͮ̉ͭ̍͜Ȏ̈̓͒M̌͋̔̇̉ ͆ͯ͆́ͨͮLİ͊͜M̓̓̋ͦ̽ͬ҉B>

No, this was evidently the type of Death that promised imminent and eternal destruction. Obliteration, really.

<F̵̛E̵̵̵̕E̶̡D̵̶͡҉ ͡Y̴͘͡Ó̴͏U̵̸͠͠R̸̢͢ E͞T͠ERN͝AL̀ ҉CO͡NSC͘IOU̕SNESS T̎̎҉̸̡Ǫͣ͂ T̨͖͇͎͈̣́ͅH̞̕͡E̛̹͎̫͜͞ ̡̼̤̝V̝̱̫̗͓O͎͎͓̳̕͟Ì̢̘͚̯͎͕̹͢ͅD͝͏̺̗̹̱́>

It was kind of hard to run with all that on the mind. Or the fact that, now they were considering it, the rooftops were getting progressively less… realistic… roofs slanting at impossible angles, walls raised to unending heights. It was like trying to run across an Escher painting where gravity still worked, but only on the Villain.

The tremors, too, were getting stronger, like the echoes following the Villain (closing in on them) had taken physical form, and with every wave of sound that bounced from river to rooftop to impossible rooftop, the air itself shaking and the last ground cracking beneath frantic steps.

<S͂͂͛̀H̽ͣͨ͒̕Oͨͯ̂̉͋ͯ҉̵W͛ͮͩ͆͘ ̶̽̎̈͋̊ͥͪ̏̚Y̴ͮ̈̚͞O̧͗ͦ̾͡U̔ͣͣ͛̐ͣŖ̽͛͊͘͡S̈́̾̓͆̐̍̀Eͨͥ̏͌̃̀ͮ̔͘͟Ĺ̵ͧ́̂ͧ̆͘͜F̢͊̇̽͂ͦ͒̎̂́>

The Villain couldn’t stop now. They had to keep running, saying nothing, blood roaring in their ears along with the echoes. They couldn’t stop, they couldn’t stop they had to keep going, jump from this wall to that wall and forget about physics, forget about hell, (won’t be going there) forget, forget about the fact they’re going to - you’re going to - you’re

<f̡a̛̕͢ć̕͞e҉̕ ͟m͞e̡>

The Villain was running.

(If they could have, they would have regretted taking that shot.)

Thank you @gingerly-writing, I love all your prompts! The eldritch ones have been really fun to consider.

[gingerly-writing]

duuuuuuuude I love the line about the Escher painting, it’s such an evocative description!! I also love how you expanded out the prompt and let us spend more time in the villain’s head, it’s so effective in streeeeeetching the time as well as the space around them!

[writingsfromspace]

Bodies and Souls

875 words, stand-alone

Prompt by @gingerly-writing​ - thank you!

Hmmm, eldritch abominations and open endings.

Critique is welcome!

She first knew something was wrong when he arrived at her flat with a bunch of red roses and a bottle of too-expensive wine.

“Who are you and what have you done to my lover?” she asked, her tone light, as if joking, but already the unease crept over her skin. Expensive gifts and flowers destined to wilt - he knew her better than that, even after a few short months.

He stilled, and that was its second mistake. It only lasted for a moment before it processed the joke, and laughed, too loudly. She was always touched by his little, timid laughs, the laugh of a person who hadn’t done it much and was worried to upset. They weren’t intimate enough yet for her to confirm whether that was the truth, but the brash laugh she heard now was not his.

“Come in,” she said, letting him pass her and closing the door behind him. He didn’t hesitate. It didn’t know she usually led the way, the two of them talking animatedly about how the day had been.

She entered the living room after him, her mind racing. He was arranging the flowers in a vase, and placed it gingerly on the table at the center of the room before turning around, beaming at her. “You look stunning, my love. Like every night.”

There was no need for empty flattery between them any more.

“Who are you?” she asked softly. “I don’t know you.” She was clinging to a straw of hope more awful than the alternative - that he was playing a cruel trick on her, that she had been wrong about him all along.

Keep reading

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #2789

“If you wipe my memories,” the minor villain said, slowly, carefully, “if you remove the last five years, the nightmare that will replace me will be worse than anything you’ve ever encountered. I can’t stop you, and I won’t plead with you. But I can warn you. Don’t do this, [hero]. You won’t live long to regret it.”

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #2790

The villain hacked out a bitter laugh. “Surprised, hero? What, did you think you could betray me and I’d stay on the straight and narrow? Retain all the pretty little lessons you tried to teach me? Obey your precious law? You said it yourself: I’m a villain, and that’s all I’ll ever be.”

[writing-on-the-wahl]

Writing Snippet #14

[Sequences of flashing lights may not be suitable for photosensitive viewers]

Civilian woke with a start, the hairs on her arms standing on end.

Something was wrong.

The curtains were closed. That was the first thing she noticed.

Civilian never closed the curtains. Waking up in the morning required the full force of the sun.

She fought to keep her breathing even as she regarded the room through slitted eyes.

“There’s no point pretending you’re still asleep.” The voice was rich, smooth, and utterly terrifying.

Her heart pounded. What kind of robber announced their presence?

Civilian opened her eyes fully, diving for the nightstand. She yanked open the top drawer.

It was empty.

She whirled around as a malicious chuckle sent shivers down her spine.

A shadow detached itself from the corner near the door, slowly spinning a glinting silver barrel on two fingers.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t check the room for weapons?”

How long had he been in her room...

The spinning stopped, and she heard the distinct clink clink of bullets hitting the wood floor as the light above the bed began to flicker.

The figure stepped forward, tossing her gun and the now empty clip on the bed between them. She caught a glimpse of his face as the light continued to flicker on and off.

For a moment her fear receded.

“Hero.”

No need to be afraid of the city’s golden boy.

Then logic kicked in. It was 2 a.m. according to the alarm clock on her nightstand. What was he doing here?

“Hero?”

He smiled, white teeth glinting in the flashing light. “So you know who I am. Good. That will make this much easier.”

Make what easier??

He took a step towards her, and Civilian retreated until her back hit the window.

“What do you want?”

“You run a shooting range with your father on 34th Street.”

The lights flickered out and when they came back on, he was standing even closer, eyes gleaming with an unnatural glow.

She flinched back. “All- all our permits are in order.”

“Yes.” The word was slow, disapproving.

He reached underneath his cape, and Civilian stopped breathing. She pressed back further, the cold of the glass seeping through the thin curtains.

Hero pulled his hand free, and she flinched, expecting a weapon of some sort, but in his hand was a stack of photos?

He extended the photos towards her. When she made no move to retrieve them, he waved them impatiently. Reluctantly, she inched forward, but when she snatched the photos from his hand, a shock ran up her arm and she jumped back, the photos spilling across the floor.

Her arm throbbed, like when she’d hit her elbow against the counter yesterday, only ten times worse.

She glared accusingly at Hero as she rubbed at her arm. He smirked, then pointed to the photos on the ground.

She glanced down, squinting in the still-flickering light. It was starting to give her a headache. Flick. A picture of her behind the counter at the shooting range talking to a customer. Flick. A picture of her in the aisle, debating brands ...with the same customer. Flick. A picture of just the customer, pulling into the parking lot. Flick. The customer standing in a lane, aiming for a target.

Why that customer? He was a regular, came at least once a week. Was always polite. Friendly. She always enjoyed their brief interactions, enjoyed making him smile wide enough that his dimples showed…

She looked closer at the photos. The angles of the photos were eerily familiar, and Civilian sucked in a breath as she realized why.

“You hacked our security cameras.”

Hero raised an eyebrow as he gestured to the lights, which promptly went haywire, flashing so quickly she covered her eyes against the onslaught.

“Stop! I get it! It’s not that hard!” It should have been. She paid through the nose for their high-end security system.

The lights went out completely, and Civilian couldn’t see.

“You want me to stop?”

Hero’s voice came from much too close, and she scrambled backwards, slamming into the window.

“With the flickering lights?” she gasped. “Yes.”

The air crackled with electricity, and her breathing hitched. This was much worse than flickering lights, and Hero knew it.

Her eyes were still filled with flashing orbs of light, and her breathing intensified as she whipped her head from side to side, blind and vulnerable.

Muffled crunching marked Hero’s movements as he stepped across the photos on the ground.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the crunching stopped, meaning he was across the photos, meaning...

“Boo!”

She reared back, head slamming into the glass. He laughed, his hands settling on the glass either side of her, caging her in. Currents flowed around her, prickling her skin but not quite strong enough to hurt.

“What do you want?” The words were barely audible.

Her vision was finally clearing, which was worse because now she could see Hero’s face, his twisted sneer both illuminated and shadowed by the unnatural glow surrounding him.

Hero leaned in. “What do I want?” He smiled, with much too many teeth. “I want you to seduce Supervillain.”

Civilian blinked. What did Supervillain have to do with literally anything?

“I—sorry—what?”

“You. Are going to seduce. Supervillain.” His voice was sharp as a knife’s edge, but she still didn’t understand...

“Uh… um but I don’t even know hi—“

Hero slammed his hands against the window, the curtains only slightly muffling the sound.

“THAT’S HIM!”

He gestured angrily to the pictures on the floor.

Oh.

Oh.

Civilian looked down at the scattered images. Tried to reconcile the messy black hair and timid smile with the vicious Supervillain who turned shadows into living nightmares.

“Yes.” Hero snarled, glowing even more fiercely now. “That’s Supervillain. Every week he drives out of his way to come to your establishment. Why would he bother with guns when his shadows can kill more effectively than any bullet?”

His face was mere inches from hers now, and eyed her knowingly. “He likes you.”

He did?

“And you are going to get close to him, discover his weaknesses, find out exactly how to defeat him.”

No.

That was what she wanted to say.

Whether it was a shy but charming civilian or a deadly supervillain, she wasn’t going to seduce anybody for Hero. As if she even knew how.

But Hero was glaring out of her, and if he could shoot lightning bolts out of his eyes, it would probably look about the same as his expression right now.

And she had no desire to be electrocuted again tonight.

“I—me—am going to fake-date that man—” she pointed to the photos, “—who is really Supervillain?”

“Yes.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but his hands came down on her arms before he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “And in case you are thinking of saying no…”

Volts of power rushed through his hands into her, and she crumpled to the ground, gasping in pain. He grinned down at her. “... refusal would be unwise.”

She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. But he apparently took her silence for agreement and turned, kicking the photos out of his way.

He paused at the door.

“Remember, Civilian, it’s for the greater good.”

——————————————————

Shoutout to my youngest sister for insisting the supervillain have shadow powers (has she been watching too much S&B? Probably? CAN you watch too much S&B? Definitely not.)

Shoutout to my brother-in-law for vetoing literally every superpower I could think of bc they were “not creepy enough.”

Shoutout to @im-a-wonderling for the beta read/hero creepy-electric-superpower suggestion.

🥰🥰🥰 you guys are the best!

[onestopheroxvillain]

This is so good!! Like Omg legitimately great

[gingerly-writing]

Prompt #2795

“Just leave me alone,” the reformed supervillain pleaded. “I haven’t hurt anyone in years, haven’t robbed a bank or stolen candy from a baby. I just live out here on my ranch with my animals, minding my own damn business.” They scanned the squad of heroes on their porch, all stern-faced and unmoving, and their heart dropped. “Don’t make me fight you. I really don’t want to have to fight you.”

[erin-writes-stuff]

how do i decide if i want to write in first or third person 

[theouterdark]

First Person

Advantages:

You get to know one character quickly and effectively

Builds attachment

Simpler

Let’s you cheat at info dumps

Epistolary stories are an option (journal style like The Martian or Dracula where everything takes place in letters or blogs)

Limitations:

Tougher to distinguish between viewpoint characters with each one you add

Untrustworthy narrator

Hard to be epic in scope

Gives away that the protagonist lives

If your audience doesn’t like the voice of your main character it will be a horrible experience for them

You don’t get the advantages of third person

Third Person

Advantages:

Large casts work better than in First Person

Sometimes better for scene/setting of immediate nature

Epic scope

Best for hiding things from the reader (except for omniscient)

More viewpoint freedom

Easier to off characters

Shows inherent discord (conflicted thoughts and dialogue)

More immersive (for some)

Easier to forgive characters of their mistakes

Limitations:

Can’t cheat on info dumps

Don’t get the advantages of First Person

These are from my notes on Brandon Sanderson’s lectures. I highly recommend them to anyone interested, I believe he is posting the most recent semester on his YouTube once a week.

[writingonesdreams]

This is an excellent break down. Thank you! Makes it much clearer to decide what the story needs.

[themultilingualslytherin]

Writing techniques and stuff to pay attention to/improve etc

Perspective/Point of view

First person. ‘The gun nestled in my hands’

involves reader/makes them feel like they’re experiencing the story first hand

Third person. ‘The gun nestled in his hand’

narrative, makes room for more description and scene setting, can be formal or informal writing structure

Sentence structures

Short opening sentences build tension and create drama

Three short sentences build tension through repetition

Contrast between short sentences and long, complex sentences can be powerful when used correctly

Start sentences with different words to add interest

Start sentences with the same or similar sentences to build tension through repetition.

Personification, powerful descriptive technique

‘The concrete beneath me could’ve swallowed me whole’

‘But your feet defy the orders from your brain and stay rooted to the ground’

Pathetic Fallacy - weather reflects the mood

‘The leaden sky darkened’

Sensory description - sensations felt by the protagonist, gives a much more realistic feel to the content and the reader can relate to the sensations

‘I felt the sweat drip down my collar. I felt the trigger and the air in my lungs refused to leave my body’

Repetition, when used correctly can be very powerful for creating drama, suspense or tension

‘Again, I felt the pressure of my finger on the trigger; again, my lungs refused to exhale’

Cliches, used in suspenseful situations create a huge contrast point

‘Frozen in that moment if felt like a dream’

Similes, descriptive technique

‘It was like a movie’

Adrress the reader to involve them and give them interest, using ‘you’ makes the reader feel like the narrator is talking directly to them

‘One of those dreams when you want to move…every fiber of your beings long to feel’

Reflection on feelings/ physical and emotional response to events, descriptive and realistic technique. Often describing the reactions more than the actual event is more powerful and effective

‘It didn’t really feel like me. It was an out of body experience’

Metaphors, powerful descriptive technique

‘Trickling blood crept away from him, the trickle became a crimson flower that blossomed eerily over the grey concrete

Happy Writing

[thechronicleofshe]

How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

 @owenabbott​ 

Apply to a  job, wait (1) day, then call.  Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application. 

 When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly,  tell them your first and last name.  

Describe your experiences  as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years]  costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.  

Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say  things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.”  “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”

When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say  YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now). 

Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.

When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy. 

If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1.  Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

 Then, shake their hand,  Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it. 

AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows  that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices. 

DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone.  In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate. 

__________

 The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com  and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl

https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

 Front Desk:

http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957

https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280

https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist

http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)

http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920

https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical

http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)

Stenographer-Court Reporter

Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND

Real Estate Broker

Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K

Claims adjuster 

Loan Officer

Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,

Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

[theherunoirnetwork]

I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

I’m saving this.

[hiddentreasurerp]

This is good

[chubbyboywonder]

Always reblog

[givethispromptatry]

“You are not your father! They blame you for these things and call you these names but you didn’t do anything! It just makes me so fucking mad!”

“… Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You are the first person to tell me that.”

[givethispromptatry]

“Hey, so, like, um, quick question. Why is the glass shattered around the containment area?”

[anthony-writes]

“Ah, yes, that,” Dr. Hasma sighed, “Unfortunately, one of our patients escaped in the night. Not to worry though, it will be found soon enough.”

I was surprised at this information. He made it seem like patients escaped daily.

After a few more minutes of the tour, a nurse in all orange approached my new boss. “Sir?” she said, announcing that she was standing there.

Dr. Hasma looked at her with barely any emotion, only a single, thin eyebrow raised.

“Subject 861 has been located, but is refusing co-operation of any kind.” she said, glancing down at a black clipboard.

Dr. Hasma looked a bit peeved at this and marched off and down the bleak hallway. I quickly chose to follow, i was curious about the ‘patients’ here. As the two of us rounded another corner i was stunned at the sight before me.

I counted five- no, six, men fully armed and wearing enough protection to be part of a S.W.A.T team all aiming their heavy weapons at a boy no older than thirteen with bright, nearly blinding pink hair.

He sat there, hair longer than he was tall and face covered by an orange medical mask, curled up in the fetal position and pressed firmly into a corner. I could just barely make out his arms buckled around his legs and his wide, yellow-ish, trembling eyes through the mess of hair.

“Now, now,” Dr. Hasma said monotonously, not even trying to appear non-threatening to the child, “calm down and let’s get you back to your room-”

“NO!” the child screeched, trying to claw away from the Doctor’s hand as it neared him. “BAD! BAD MAN!”

This made even me flinch, the child’s voice was high-pitched and overflowing with fear. What had this place been doing to these poor kids?

[anthony-writes]

@givethispromptatry

[givethispromptatry]

This poor boy! I hope the narrator can do something to help him! Dr. Hasma is either very evil or is desensitized to stuff like this.

I wonder what kind of powers the kid has to require that many S.W.A.T officers! I can think of a few reasons why he wouldn’t use them though. With Dr. Hasma’s lackluster response to this I’m led to believe that the kid won’t be ‘severely’ punished if he doesn’t use his powers…

I really liked your description of the kid and for Dr. Hasma’s speech patterns! They are very clear in tone and image! 

Nice job! :D

[givethispromptatry]

Being adopted by superheroes was the best thing in the world. He knew they loved him dearly and fought hard so that they could return home to him.

[anthony-writes]

But it made him nervous. Nervous that they wouldn’t return. That being said, he had turned to some dangerous means of making absolute sure that they would always make it home.

At the age of only fifteen was when he saw the terrifying abilities and the destruction they caused. It was then that he knew that things had to be taken into his own hands.

So, he struck a deal. The villains weren’t hard to find (thanks to his parent’s database and his own intellect), and he was quick to approach. It was a simple yet diabolical agreement for them: his parents would always win, and their child would have to work for them (secretly, of course).

All was well, his parents came back unmarked and ‘victorious’, and everyone was happy, but that’s not how the story goes, for there can’t be happiness without sadness.

Jonathan was, of course, in disguise when it happened, a dark red veil covered his face and a pitch black top-hat covered his all too recognizable long, silvery hair. His outfit matched the colors of his identity-hiding items; a dark red dress shirt, matching gloves, and black pants and a long, dark trenchcoat.

His gloved hand had just barely touched the statue when alarms rang out, the loud and shrill noise made Jonathan panic and fall from his spot on the ladder.

He hit the floor with a echoing thud, the impact successfully knocking the wind out of him.

It was only minutes before he got his breath back, although it felt like hours. He sat up, still gasping slightly, and searched for his partner who was supposed to disable the alarm system and found that he was the only person there. At least, that’s what he thought.

“Halt, evil-doer!” came a gut-renchingly familiar voice.

Without much of a plan to go off of, Jonathan bolted, quick and light footfalls barely making a sound as he weaved between the museum’s displays.

Just as he looked back, something jumped in front of him, grabbing Jonathan’s trenchcoat to try and hold him in place, but the teen acted quickly, pulling himself out of the jacket and attempting a kick to his opponent’s head.

He missed as his opponent flickered out of existence for a brief moment, making John’s leg pass though him without a single scratch to his opponent. The teen stumbled and his heartrate increased as a sudden realization came to him.

He was fighting his parents, which was both a pro and a con.

Pro; he knew his opponents’ abilities and fighting style better than anyone else.

Con; he really didn’t want to hurt them.

With this in mind, Jonathan turned and made a mad dash for the exit. It was the best option for all of them, no-one gets hurt and no-one finds out who he is, but luck didn’t seem to be on his side.

The form of who he now recognized as his mother re-appeared in front of him, making him jump to the side and head to the window. They were on the second story but he knew he could make it.

The glass cracked and shattered as his weight was tossed into it, and he fell. He made a glowing blue shield around him that helped soften the fall. It dispersed as he stared running yet again, hearing the heavy footfalls behind him.

His legs burned and he struggled to keep his breathing steady by now, he was getting tired.

Jonathan didn’t know how long he had been going before his knees gave out, sending him into the hard pavement, tearing his pants and scratching his skin.

It was only now that he noticed his state; there was glass shards still stuck to his clothes and he was sure that he felt a piece stuck in his cheek because it hurt badly. He rose a shaky hand and felt that his tophat was gone and the veil had ripped sometime during his escape, making his left cheek and part of his mouth visible.

He was almost sure that he had escaped when his mother’s voice jolted him back to reality. “Give up, villain! There’s no-where to run!”

With a pained scowl, Jonathan pushed himself up and nearly fell again as his thigh burned, pain flooding his entire right leg. He looked down as saw that there was a gash across his upper thigh, dripping with the familiar red liquid.

He didn’t know where his mother was due to her super power, invisibility. So he pushed on.

Dragging one foot in front of the other didn’t last long as a force shoved him back onto the ground. “Stay down!”

His mother grabbed his veil and made one last effort to hide himself, using a shield he pushed her hand away and made a thin barrier around him, but it flickered and dispersed just as quick as it appeared.

The mask disappeared and Jonathan closed his eyes. He didn’t want to face her. Not like this.

He heard a small gasp, “Jonathan…?” she sounded broken, his heart clenched.

When he finally opened his eyes, he was met with the teary blue-green eyes of the woman who had raised him.

He opened his mouth but shut it just as quick, he didn’t know what to say.

She looked up at something and then back at her son. “I-I don’t understand… Why…”

Jonathan saw another person looming above him. His father. “I was scared,” he whispered, his throat felt tight. “Scared of loosing you.”

“John.” his father’s voice sounded distant.

“I’m sorry…”

His mother and father shared a look and she said, “We have to take you in. You’re a villain…”

Jonathan only closed his eyes again, trying to fight off the tears. He never wanted this.

“Alright.”

[anthony-writes]

@givethispromptatry ~

[givethispromptatry]

The worst decisions are often made through the best intentions. I wonder why Jonathan thought that his parents needed more protection despite them being professional superheroes…

I think Jonathan might have also fallen victim to a villain’s manipulation. What villain would see the desperate son of superheroes and not think about using him for their own gains? I like that this is making me think about how Jonathan got into this position!

Well done! :D

[lavendersucculents]

When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

[dynastylnoire]

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly? What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

[audreynical2]

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental) Am I allowed to paint the walls? Is there any additional storage? Do you do regular pest control?

[werewolfau-deactivated20180321]

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

LAUNDRY FACILITIES Definitely ask about security Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer) If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs What kind of heating/AC there is Procedure/response time for any maintenance How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem) What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead? Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places: When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in? Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

[gizkasparadise]

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

[lmaodies]

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

[seagodofmagic]

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

I CANNOT SECOND THIS ENOUGH.

[remisstoreality]

ALSO

- who last lived here? why did they leave?

[jenniferrpovey]

- Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)

- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

- What are the rules on hanging pictures?

- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

- What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).

[crimeshetyped]

This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾

[kittleimp]

If you have roommates, even if they’re your friends, ask what happens if one person moves out. Who is responsible for their rent? What about security deposit, how much is it and what do you have to do to document existing damages before you move in?

[cappurrccino]

- It’s boring as hell, but read the lease before you sign it! Ask questions and clarify anything you notice that seems weird or that you don’t understand. I had a landlord that required I get the carpets professionally steam cleaned (which I didn’t realize until we were moving out because I didn’t read the entire lease) and another that tried to keep part of my security deposit because I didn’t pay for professional cleaning, but we got the money back because it wasn’t part of their lease that we’d signed.

- Take pictures/make detailed notes about damages already present on move-in. Add additional sheets to what they give you if needed because chances are they’re going to be just as nitpicky when you move out to try and keep part of your security deposit.

- An addition to the hanging pictures - ask what they allow you to use (nails/screws or tape only) and whether they want you to repair the holes to keep part of your deposit. If you’re planning to wall mount your TV, ask specifically about using molly bolts because they’re going to leave a much larger hole than a picture nail.

[studysection]

Hey guys! As a writer myself, it’s hard to have a lot of resources for writing in one place. That’s why I decided to create this masterpost, and maybe make more if I find future resources. I hope you like it, and expect to see more masterposts like this in the future!

Generators

Character

Appearance Generator

Archetypes Generator

Character Generator

Character Traits Generator

Family Generator

Job/Occupation Generator, (II)

Love Interest Generator

Motive Generator

Name Generator

Personality Generator, (II)

Quick Character Generator

Super Powers Generator

Names

Brand Name Generator

Medicine Title Generator

Name Generator

Quick Name Generator

Vehicle Generator

Town Name Generator

Plot

First Encounter Generator

First Line Generator, (II)

Plot Generator, (II), (III)

Plot Device Generator

Plot Twist Generator

Quick Plot Generator

Setting/World-Building

City Generator

Fantasy Race Generator

Laws Generator

Pet Generator

Setting Generator

Species Generator

Terrain Generator

Prompts

Subject Generator

”Take Three Nouns” Generator

Word Prompt Generator

Misc

Color Generator

Decision Generator

Dialogue Generator

Journey Generator

Title Generator, (II), (III)

Some Tips

Just a few I found from the writing tips tag!

Writing action / @berrybird

How to create a strong voice in your writing / @collegerefs

How to plot a complex novel in one day! / @lizard-is-writing

8 ways to get past writer’s block / @kiramartinauthor

psa for writers / @dasakuryo

”Write Using Your 5 Senses” / @ambientwriting

How People Watching Improves Your Writing / @wherethetransthingsare

Writing Science Fiction: Tips for Beginners / @fictionwritingtips

Creating Likeable Characters / @authors-haven

Vocabulary

Descriptive words / @somekindofstudent

Words to replace “Said” / @msocasey

Obscure color words / @mintsteelpeachlilac

Words to spice up your stories / @busyibee

Words to describe someone’s voice

Words to Use Instead of Very / @gaybybirth

Touchy Feely Words / @gaybybirth

Some Advice

Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers

”But my plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!” / @youreallwrite

8 Things Every Creative Should Know / @adamjk

(How To) Get Over Comparing Yourself to Other Creatives / @adamjk

How to Get Over Common Creative Fears (Maybe) / @adamjk

14 Tips From Stephen King On Writing / @i-can-give-you-prompts

Playlists

Electronic Thoughts / @eruditekid

“Mix About Writing” An Instrumental Mix / @shadowofemirates

Shut Up, I’m Writing! / @ninadropdead

Chill / @endlessreveries

Breathtaking Film Scores / @tweedskirts

Music to Write to Vol. 1: Starlight / @crestadeen

Music for Written Words / @ghoulpatch

Dead Men Tell No Tales / @scamandersnewt

Fatale / @dolcegf

All These Things that I’ve Done / @referenceforwriters

Feeling Soaking into Your Bones / @verylondon

I Can Feel Your Pulse in the Pages / @rphelper

Morally Ambiguous / @scamandersnewt

Wonderwall / @wheelerwrites

Pythia / @mazikeene

Ballet: To Dance / @tanaquil

Websites and Apps

For Writing

ZenPen: A minimalist writing website to keep you free of distractions and in the flow.

The Most Dangerous Writing App: A website where you have to keep typing or all of your writing will be lost. It helps you keep writing…kind of. You can choose between a time or word count limit!

Evernote: An online website where you can take notes and save the product to your laptop and/or smartphone!

Writer, the Internet Typewriter: It’s just you and your writing, and you can save your product on the website if you create an account.

Wordcounter: A website to help check your word and character count, and shows words you’re using frequently.

Monospace: An Android app for writing on the go when you feel the inspiration, but you don’t have your laptop on you!

For Productivity

Tide: An app that combines a pomodoro-esque timer with nature sounds and other noises! (Google Play / Apple Store)

ClearFocus: An Android app with a pomodoro-type time counter to let you concentrate easier and stay productive.

Forest: An app with a time counter to keep you focused and off your phone, and when you complete the time limit, a tree grows in your garden! (Google Play / Apple Store)

SelfControl: A Mac downloadable app that blocks you from distracting mail servers, websites, and other things!

Prompt Blogs

@writeworld

@dialouge-prompts

@oopsprompts

@prompts-for-the-otp

@creativepromptsforwriting

@the-modern-typewriter

@theprofessionalpromptmaker

@writers-are-writers

@otp-imagines-cult

@witterprompts

@havetobememes

@auideas

@putthepromptsonpaper

@promptsonpaper

@fyotpprompts

@otpisms

@soprompt

@otpprompts

@ablockforwritersblock

@awritersnook

Writing Tips Blogs

@writeworld

@anomalously-written

@awritersnook

@clevergirlhelps

@referenceforwriters

@whataboutwriting

@thewritershelpers

@nimblesnotebook

@slitheringink

[tinysidestrashcaptain]

Reblogging to save a writer

[ohbytheangel]

Hey fellow writers! Enjoy!

[queenshipper63-deactivated20190]

Thank you

[roachpatrol]

i should make a low-effort cookbook

like you get those ‘i hate to cook! 101: easy meals for the kitchen novice!’ and it still wants you to make a three-cheese spinach casserole

mine would be like

did you know you can put chocolate chips on a spoonful of peanut butter and obtain the perfect snack

did you know if you crack some eggs into your pasta sauce and stir there’s more protein in it so you can go longer without having to make another goddamn meal

did you know you can mix a cup of cooked rice to any condensed soup instead of water and now you have dinner and breakfast

also put cheese on it

put cheese on fucking everything

and finally here’s a list of things you can microwave in a short enough time that you won’t walk out of the kitchen, go back to bed, fall asleep for four hours, and totally forget you attempted a lunch

[isozyme]

frozen pizza is expensive but!  biscuits in a can + last dregs of jar of tomato sauce + some shredded mozzarella cheese = EIGHT MINIPIZZAS

dump all your chinese delivery into a hot pan and crack two eggs into it, stir, now it is soft and good

if you add a kraft single to mac and cheese from the box it’s magically more delicious (and if you also add hot sauce then it’s spicy)

nachos: chips + shredded cheese + salsa + rummage in fridge in case there’s other things?  and then under the broiler for a minute or two.  if it’s hot it counts as a meal!  works good on stale chips.

an incomplete list of vegetables that won’t instantly rot on you: anything frozen, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes (they get wrinkly but u can still eat them), carrots, onions…i throw away a lot of veggies that have gone soft :(

i love parchment paper.  $4 for a roll but lay it down on ur baking sheet and know you’ll never have to scrub cheese or cookie crumbs off it again.  perfect for cooking with low spoons.  nothing sticks to it!

[mhyinblogs]

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

[ursavorpalis]

also: mug cakes also also: if you cook rice you might as well dump some canned tomatos and canned beans in it. TADA NUTRITIONALLY COMPLETE MEALS in the list of foods that last: apples. apples can last an entire fucking winter. also also also: cottage cheese + bell peppers + crackers = what I ate for dinner for like a year

[leahazel]

1. You cook the rice in a pot. No spices, no nothing, just water oil and rice. 

2. Just before it’s ready, when there’s about a pinkie fingernail’s worth of water on the top, add in a tablespoon of peanut butter. 

3. Stir. Cook the rest of the way. 

4. It’s a meal! It has carbs and protein, it’s filling, it tastes good and it looks and feels like a legitimate dish, which is great for lifting the spirits a bit. 

5. If you feel fancy, add a teaspoon of honey or a handful of crushed peanuts. 

[hagar-972]

Alt., mix the rice with lentils. Cereal (rice, wheat) + legume (lentils, beans) = complete protein. Most people’s bodies will accept that in lieu of animal products.

Since no-one explained how to cook rice: (1) put bit of oil in pot, heat up on medium flame, (2) add 1-1.5 cup rice, mix up and add a bit of salt (you may need to reduce flame), (3) while you’re doing that, boil water in an electric pot, (4) add 2 cup water for each 1 cup rice; reduce flame a few seconds before you do that and mind the steam won’t hit you, (5) cover and set a 20min timer.

Pasta: (1) boil water, lots of water (covered pot goes fast; you can also use an electric pot for a shortcut and bring to a full boil on the stove - experiment), (2) up to 100 gr pasta per 1L water will work, but the more water per pasta the better, (3) reduce flame to medium (light bubbling), add pasta, set time to 10min, (4) check and add time as necessary - you may not need to.

Egg or bean noodled cook faster than pasta - like, half the time.

Easiest pasta sauce: 20-50gr of butter, melt; 1-2tbs lemon juice, homogenize; dump in pasta (and possibly peas, boiled from frozen). Taken 5min or under and will liven up pasta that’s been sitting in the fridge.

Easiest cream sauce: 1 standard (250ml) cream carton, 1 tsp shredded cheese (keeps well in freezer) or more, 1 tbs cottage cheese, spices to taste. Heat in a small pot on a small-to-medium flame while stirring constantly (if it’s too hot to stick a finger in, it’s too hot). Takes maybe 5-10min. Will keep in fridge up to 1 week.

Rice freezes well. Pasta doesn’t. Plain pasta (and most noodles) will last for up to a month in the fridge, though, and just dump it in the pan with some ketchup/tomato paste(+oil + water) and you’re good.

…nobody said that dry onion lasts? Dry onion lasts. Fried onion freezes well and keeps forever. So does diced garlic. If you like ‘em but worried about them going bad/don’t always have the time or spoons to deal with ‘em, there you go.

Fresh bread freezes well. Keep emergency bread in your freezer, sliced. It’ll thaw in the fridge/on the counter overnight, or you can stick a slice as-is in the toaster (just turn it up 1 notch relative to your usual preference).

Potatoes in their peel are the single most nutritious food. (You can, actually, survive on mashed potatoes.) A boiled potato will stay good in the fridge for a couple days. Boil partway (should still somewhat resist a fork), turn over/toaster oven on 150C (350F) or higher while you do the rest, slice potato(s), spread like deck of cards, brush oil over (with the sort of silicone brush one uses for eggs - costs next to nothing and you’ll be glad you got it), bit of salt, stick into oven and come back 20-40min later. Will re-heat well.

All of the following are good in eggs, just (1) dump them in the pan before the eggs, (2) the more you fluff up the eggs the betters: cubed semi-boiled potatoes, sliced/cubed tomatoes, tinned garbanzo beans (<-legume), tinned/frozen corn. Tinned and frozen stuff lasts forever. A pre-boiled potato and a couple eggs will save your ass on a cold, miserable morning.

3 shortbread cookies + 2 glasses of milk = 500kcal balanced dinner. Or breakfast.

1 cup cooked pasta + couple fluffed up eggs + shredded cheese (from frozen) to taste, in a stove-top pan or in the oven for ~20min = full meal.

Black lentils, cooked, will last nicely in the fridge - and unlike other legumes, they don’t need a pre-soak and only take 20min to cook. ½ bowl + 3 tbs oil + 2 tsp lemon juice + ¼ onion = dinner so nutritious you won’t believe it.

Cottage cheese and honey. No really. You only need a couple tsp honey for 250gr cottage tub.

1tbs peanut butter (flat as you can make it) + 3 tbs soy + 2 tbs maple/honey + 1 tsp vinegar = marinade for ~500gr of whatever. Takes ~5min to mix, 20min-2hr to soak, 5-10min to fry (non-stick pan and you don’t need oil). This + pot of rice (<-make while chicken/meat soaks) = lunch for a week. (Or dinner, if dinner’s your main meal.)

A tin of mayonnaise will last for months in the fridge. Hardboiled eggs last a nice while, too. 3 hardboiled eggs, chopped + 1tbs mayo + 1/3 onion chopped = 5min of work and egg salad for a few highly nutritious meals.

Ever make yourself hot chocolate? Make it with milk instead of water, for fuck’s sake. A large cup of hot chocolate is a legit small meal.

[m-winnike]

Buy broccoli and green beans frozen. For a couple dollars you can get a big enough bag of either to get at least 8-10 servings out of it and it keep for at least 6 months if you keep the bag closed. Buy a jar of chopped garlic in olive oil as well. That’ll keep in your fridge for months and adding a little bit to a handful of broccoli or green beans and sauteing(lightly browning them in a pan or pot on the stove) them together until everything is warm is a cheap, easy way to have a flavorful snack or meal. 

Also, ramen, drop an egg and a handful of some kind of frozen veggie(the previously mentioned ones or even some mixed carrots and peas) it adds a lot of nutritional value to your ramen, makes it so much more filling, and makes it have way better flavor than plain ramen. 

Buy a jar of Better than Bouillon. Amazon has them for as cheep as $2.99 a jar and one jar has enough in it to make a couple gallons of broth. Just one teaspoon of this stuff added to 1 cup of water will give you a deliciously broth for soup. Pick your flavor and drop whatever veggies or noodles you’ve got leftover in the fridge and you’ve got dinner. It’s also great to add to the water you’re cooking your rice in to give it some flavor as well. 

Don’t buy boxed Kraft mac and cheese. It may seem like an easy approach but there is a cheaper approach. A 3 lb bag of macaroni noodles is only a couple dollars and you can get a 1 lb bag of the powdered cheese just like in Kraft for $10 on Amazon. I bought a bag of cheese powder that size and it lasted me more than a year and I made mac and cheese once a week. You can also mix it with milk and broccoli and you’ve got a great dinner of broccoli cheese soup. 

My biggest tip for saving money on food is to make things that will freeze well. Say you make a pot of spaghetti. You could get 5 or 6 servings out of a full pot easily, if not more, but you’ll get tired of spaghetti before it’s gone. Stick servings in plastic baggies(which are fine to rinse and reuse!) and freeze them! Then you’ll be able to take out just the amount to eat for a meal and have some back up meals for when you’re loaded down with work, homework, etc and have no time to make a meal. 

[cynicalcrow]

I… Really, reeeeally wish I’d seen this about 5 months ago. So rebloggin now so I can find it again.