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rylan the type of guy to eat mac n cheese on a saturday / @mglur1

[abimee]

[abimee]

my old pride clown/jester piece still whips ass

[abimee]

Which "brown-haired AI who was originally a living woman until her conscious was turned into a unique, villainous existence and now believes what she's doing, which is murdering people, is for the best of her goal" is winning

GLaDOS

Sphene

Remaining time: 18 hours 11 minutes

no third option you gotta pick a side. GLaDOS is a classic and maybe a lesbian which gives her a leg up compared to Sphene who's straight and a colonizer, but Sphene is also multi-faceted and politically charged which could leverage her against GLaDOS.

[abimee]

genuinely there is no good argument against committing suicide at this point in my life because all the ones well-meaning but poorly thought out spat at me by people on the internet dont work

it gets better = its been 25 years of it only getting worse, why should i suffer another 25 years in case it might get better when im 50? that just means i wasted my life suffering

someone cares for you = nobody cares for me, i wouldnt be here, like this, if people did. try again stupid

suicide isnt the answer = it is when theres no other option stupid

[abimee]

I blame all of my problems on my father who waived his GI bill so he could retire sooner when that same GI bill could've put me through 4 years of college without paying a dime, i could have an actually good job and live alone and be independent but because i was raised like i didnt exist im left struggling and this is why suicide is always the answer

[abimee]

this is why i hard pivoted to ff14 i cant stand people who only follow/enjoy my art when its of a franchise they personally like. only my strongest followers have survived the 6 year dark winter its like 5 people out of 3,000 LMAO

[abimee]

in my 12 years posting art on this blog i can safely say my undertale phase was still the worst thing to happen to me NOT BECAUSE i suddenly hate undertale but because the people who followed me back then who keep talking AT ME in MY INBOX like im dead. like thanks

[abimee]

[financepigdotnet]

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

[abimee]

Father's day is coming up. when I got a flight to california my father didn't even get out of the car to see me off despite this being the big milestone of me moving out. just dropped me and my roommate at the front of the airport and drove off before we even entered the building. didnt even say anything besides bye. so that's all im saying about father's day

[abimee]

the girls for TDOV because i dont wanna talk about my gender. i love you trans girls

[abimee]

watching ER with my mom and here's my spread of favorite characters

[abimee]

[voice of guy whos never played a god of war] this is so very althaea-esque

[abimee]

my favorite chemist on youtube is doing shit again

[abimee]

being in an artistic rut is so fun because its directly tied to my current living/existential situation re: no job no money fucked market etc so ive spent 2 years being unable to draw anything beyond sketches and i cant even look up a mediocre youtube video from a art college youtuber telling me the path to unblocking myself from art is to turn my phone off and spend money i dont have on outside activities because i dont have art block my life just sort of sucks deeply rn

[abimee]

its about love

[abimee]

its about love!!!!!!!!!!!

[abimee]

SAY IT WITH ME

[abimee]

one of the funnier things i remember about younger me is that i was super fascinated with islam as a wee lass and this manifested in me just chronically making muslim protags of my stories and just forcing my teachers to look at it

like for instance i remember very clearly in computer learning class when i was maybe 9-10, one of our projects was to make a poster using a basic image editing software, and i drew an extremely crude picture of a young hijabi girl beneath a streetlamp holding an ice cream with eyeballs surrounding her in the dark, heres a recreation of it:

little me sat there leant back explaining my to my ancient computer lab teacher that this is about a little girl who always walked home in the evening with her mother and got ice cream, and her mother always warned her of monsters lurking out in the dark that she could only escape by staying underneath the streetlamps, and one day her mother disappears and the girl believes the creatures outside the streetlights ate her and now have to make sure she doesnt get eaten either

like jump forward to me being 14 and my first shortt story essay for my middle school english class is a story about a hijabi girl in a nondescript country who while riding her bike home finds out her best friend has been killed in a neighborhood explosion, and her family gives her an old box of cassettes the girl used to love, which she takes home and listens to in her room as her family watches on the television about an oncoming invasion of their country. my english teacher praised me for this and i think its because it was baby's very first political critique of america's constant warmongering in the 'middle east' but attempted through the mouth of a 14 year old in wisconsin who was just barely alive when 9/11 happened

then in sophmore highschool i made Golden Everlastings, a historical fantasy novel about a young hijabi girl from 'The Dells' (a fictionalized version of the wisconsin dells) on the brink of industrialization, who is taken into indentured servitude for 10 years, until she one day escapes with two other servants and seeks to find a way back home

and then in 2017 i converted to islam and was surprised when others were surprised as if i wasnt basically weabooing out about islam since i was able to type words onto a computer LMAO