* 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇. 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃.
exploring ; 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘳𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘶𝘱𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, & 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯.
occasionally subtle

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Today's Document
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@abject
* 𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇. 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃.
exploring ; 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘳𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘶𝘱𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, & 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯.
[ .... ] no matter what, in any circumstance, aaron was always going to find eric to be the cutest and most gorgeous human being in his eyes. he couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky when so many others have fallen on bad luck during these trying times. he constantly wondered what he had done to deserve someone as kind and compassionate as eric. he had fit his missing piece so well that he couldn't imagine ever being with someone else. that's why it terrified him every so often when he wondered what he would do if he were to lose eric. it would be like missing an arm, and he doesn't think he could live without him.
aaron looked over with a smile still hanging off his lips when eric began speaking, asking him a question he didn't exactly see coming. he pondered for a moment, ❝ i haven't thought about it before, but i certainly wouldn't say no. is that something you had in mind ? ❞ he asked, chuckling a bit. he heaved his backpack a bit on his back as he continued to walk beside him, ❝ did you have somewhere in mind, particularly ? ❞ he added in question.
it definitely wasn't something aaron had thought about before. leaving alexandria was a thought that scared him; he's gotten so accustomed to being within the walls, away from danger of walkers and potentially bad people, that leaving was an option he never really considered. of course, he left occasionally, but those were missions to recruit people back to their community. this would be ... a trip? he shrugged a bit, ❝ how long were you thinking ? ❞ @abject.
the breath eric hadn't known he'd been holding was released ; the question having gone over far better than he expected it to. of course there wasn't a single scenario in how mind that played out violently, the thought of aaron so much as raising his voice was out of the question -- still, eric knew how much the other loved alexandria, and so to bring up the idea of leaving didn't come without its share of nerves.
❝ i wouldn't say it's something i 'had in mind' -- just something that i've thought about before, ya'know, in a hypothetical daydreamy way. ❞ incredibly unconvincing, he was sure. a moment of silence fell, the sounds of boots on pavement louder than usual as eric took his time deciding on how to continue on, not wanting to push the topic, but happy that aaron hadn't tried to drop it completley. ❝ i think maybe i had a delayed reaction to some of this, like it's just hitting me how permanent it all is. can't stop thinking about home ; my home, our home, your home especially. guess i just regret not getting to really appreciate the place that made you. ❞ and that would be where the regret conversation came to an end if eric had any say in the mater, as that was another thing that had been on his mind far too often in recent weeks. ❝ that's pretty far off though, i know that, and i know it would be risky and stupid so . . . i'm open to suggestions. ❞
when will mother return from war ? ( i'm mother )
I know it’s been 15 years. You remembered everything.
Domhnall Gleeson as Billy Johnson in HBO’s ‘Run’
jessie was enjoying every second of company with eric. she couldn't remember the last time she had a moment of peace with someone that wasn't incessantly watching every move she made or judged every word that passed her lips. she could tell their friendship was something she was going to cherish — and she really needed that in her life. she noticed the way he rolled his eyes when she had returned the curious question of what he did before the world became the way it is now. but, it didn't seem like an aggressive or an annoyed gesture of any sort. she would take that as a win.
she listened, and before she could inquire more information, he had already taken it upon himself to explain further his past occupation. she chuckled lightly, ❝ i take it that this question isn't your first rodeo ❞ she pointed out, half-smiling as she sat back in her seat. she nodded a bit, ❝ did you like it? it doesn't sound half-bad, sounds like you were always busy and busy it never a bad thing. at least, not in my book ❞ she shrugged. she never minded her job as a hair stylist back in the past. she had a few friends in the neighborhood salon she worked in, and it had always been her place to escape from her home life. she wondered if she could find that again here in alexandria. the thought made her happy for a brief moment.
❝ it also sounds like that comes in handy with what this community needs. you guys' needed a hair stylist and here i am, you got me ❞ she joked with a smile still hanging off her lips. ❝ i'm assumin' that's basically what you do now. any good luck? ❞
known far and wide for not quite being able to tell when to stop talking, judging by the reaction he received from the other eric was confident in saying that this time he'd managed to keep the facts of the matter concise enough to keep his conversational partner from losing interest -- that, or jessie was so good at faking politeness that it was downright dangerous ; though honestly, either option was fine by him.
❝ not even close to my first rodeo. ❞ he would confirm with a somewhat apologetic smile, hoping that the way he'd hopped right into things hadn't come off as overtly rude. ❝ i did like it, yeah. you're definitely right about it keeping me busy, and you're even more right about everything we learned being useful with what we do now -- but for the most part? it was just a job, other than meeting aaron a lot of it, even the things that felt amazing at the time, are pretty forgettable now. ❞ not exactly the most heartwarming tale of meaningful employment but the truth was the truth, and if you couldn't be honest about how lackluster your job was even during the collapse of civilization, then was what the point in continuing on?
fingers ran through copper hair for a moment as jessie spoke, his free hand eventually providing a so-so hand gesture as the next question was thrown his way. ❝ luck would be a . . . generous way to put it. ❞ eric would reply, the word luck not quite fitting with the current circumstances they were all being forced to live through ; still, he knew what she had meant, and with that in mind he went over every individual they'd brought through the gates, trying to think of someone who really stood out when it came to useable skills.
❝ it isn't a very interesting answer, but assuming we're all stuck here for an extended period of time, and right now it's looking like that's the case, i'd say our few teachers come out on top when it comes to being the best finds. having a doctor is great, obviously, and in a completley not-kiss-assy way having a stylist will do more for morale than you can even imagine ; but the kids are important, and they need someone who actually knows their way around education. ❞ a pause in speech before deciding to cover his bases, not wanting to come across as a baseless know it all given his child-free status. ❝ that could be bullshit though, as the only person in the room without kids i'm completley willing to be corrected. ❞
@paralyziingfears
busy with work reminder that i love eric , bye.
✱˚。⋆ ↪ 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄 . ( a collection of lyric prompts based on various works by ashnikko . adjust phrasing as necessary , mature themes and language are present . )
attitude and the booze won't save you .
you fuck my life up then you say "my bad" .
you don't seem to see what a cliche you are .
repeat after me , "i'm over it" .
you don't ever cross my mind , what's a sheep to a tiger ?
i'm no prey , but i am pursued .
my best friend thinks that i'm a dumbass .
the world is burning and i laugh at the blaze .
on your horse so high , i swear to god i'm higher .
heard a rumor that you said you made me who i am .
i'm too healthy , wealthy , well fed .
i don't have the time to pretend you're funny .
self - made , self - paid , how dare you speak my name ?
i hate you so much right now .
you're not special , it's not cute .
hi , it's me , back again . here to remind you he's not worth it .
i slip up , i text you , i forget that you were so disrespectful .
they told me to be nice and i told them to bite me .
you don't want to see me bratty .
i put that teddy bear you gave me in a blender .
whiskey in my hip flask , nothing fruity .
i can see the desperation , i've got you right where i want you .
you can't stand to see me shine .
so lame that i'm your only claim to fame .
i like how you look when you really beg .
i need a new toy just to cleanse my palate .
it's gonna hurt , it'll sting .
only one strike , then you get the boot .
the only thing you seem to give me is sex .
you think you're the man , bitch please .
we both know it wasn't love , it was a big bad habit .
i only trust a fella for some light amusement .
unfortunately , you made the mistake of underestimating me .
you wish you could sway my attention .
tell me what you need .
there was potential in you .
i wanna make a couple bad decisions .
i'm no cinderella , but i like the shoes .
i do well for myself , nothing you do is extraordinary .
my dumb ass should be a little more cautious .
fuck a princess , i'm a king .
i say i won't do it , then i do it and i make myself sick .
you think you're worth all the fuss ?
to tell the truth , role models weren't around me much .
why am i such a sucker for a fuckboy's freckles ?
i say it's a no - brainer , now .
i'm crazy , but you like that . i bite back .
you already know i'm not shy .
what we did was childish , can we put this behind us ?
nothing was nice , but i loved every minute .
i don't give a fuck , i have more fun on my ones .
i've been predisposed to trauma since i was eleven .
you can keep the image of my butt as a souvenir .
being a bitch is my kink .
you're still taught the same shit .
i think she really likes me .
hide your back , she likes to stab them .
i hate that i'm so self depricating , more comfortable in bad situations .
i'm a little faded , you look like a fuckin' painting .
when i'm with you i have amnesia , got me without a mind .
i don't let a fucker on the internet tell me nothing .
this is all because you want to say you've done it .
i'm fresh out of patience .
you wish i missed you . back the fuck up .
i'm a sucker for a little devastation .
coulda , shoulda , woulda , but you did it .
i swear i'm not crying , the sun's just bright .
tell me why i need you over the next .
i'm eager to hurt more .
i swear my blue vibrator brings me more joy .
i gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch .
you better stock up on tissues , jacking off to all my pictures .
fake it to the top .
typical of me to go and ruin the party .
i'm having the best time of my life .
i'm having the worst time of my life .
you look dumb now that i've come to my senses .
what do you really mean when you're calling me nice ?
you wanna hold a gun but they made you a pinup .
i forget that you're still so disrespectful .
your love is not impressive .
tell it to my manager , he'll tell you "pay a fee" .
now that i can think rationally , i feel so stupid .
everybody says they love me but i'm still brokenhearted .
it's like i need a babysitter , someone to come get me .
god made me pretty , you made me mean .
say you want my body , let me give it to you .
i'm not in your circle , baby .
i just wanna push you to the edge now .
your sad life is never getting better .
what are you mad at me for , huh ?
i was living good until your locusts and your plague hit .
forgive me for the nasty things i say when i'm wounded .
so you're scared of me now , huh ?
women hold the weight of the world .
there's something to be said for a bitch who can top me .
if nothing matters , then i'll be fine .
you hate me cause you hate yourself .
dust yourself off , girl , keep your chin up .
he says i'm a lost cause and he might be right .
i'm that "fuck up your life" girl .
i would crawl through broken glass to get home .
i play my life like a video game .
i think you've gotta do way more if you wanna please me .
what's he doing ? i don't need a brave knight .
i deleted your number .
i'm not shy , i'll say it . i've been picturing you naked .
legs getting tired , can we switch positions ?
you put a knife in my back but you'll never be the death of me .
i could squash you like a little rotten fruit .
you could never , 'cause you're not clever enough .
we were good while it lasted .
my baby calls me bossy .
i don't really need a man , but sometimes i want one though .
i can't even wear my skin without them asking where i've been .
i can make you call remember me .
stupid boy thinks that i need him .
hate me 'cause i'm beautiful , bitch i don't like you either .
i think you know you can't replace me .
who do i have to kill to make everybody love me ?
i try to think , but it's no use .
maybe we can love until we're dead .
this is not an invitation .
how dare i have private desires ?
now you're crying and you're shaking ?
nothing about you is attractive to me , now .
am i fuckable enough for you ?
i don't want you and i don't want your homie .
please don't think that the sex is gonna cloud my view .
can't believe i let your hand inside my bloomers .
tell me how my ass tastes , little bottom feeder .
you don't know your way around a pussy .
i want it , i win it . call it ambition .
i don't need the dick - i need magic , i need money .
i know you think about me in the shower .
i've got several dummies that wanna get on me .
this is so small in the big simulation .
go find another bitch to hoover , count the days until you lose her .
i know you think about me with your hand down your trousers .
you don't know anyone else like me .
it's a therapist you need .
eric starter-call ( and/or plotting call ) ♥ for the void ♥
Fun little mun meme for friends.
Name / Alias: I've never had one on here!
Are you over 18? : Yes / No
– W R I T I N G –
. . . way back when i started this blog i needed an fc for eric's college bestie so i chose someone who fit the bill in my head, and as someone who doesn't keep up with what actors are doing i have to say that it's wild to suddenly see him everywhere.
"Fuck" Episode 3 of HBO RUN
eric starter-call ( and/or plotting call ) ♥ for the void ♥
The momentary urge to change Eric's fc to L. Pace just for the hell of it, but then realizing that, when combined with his current fc, the two together actually make the perfect Eric & Aaron combo 🤔
aaron often allowed himself to be engulfed into the fantasy of living a normal life in a normal world because, if he didn't, he would feel miserable constantly, and he didn't want that. he knew the world they were forced to survive in was a shitty one; one that lacked sympathy and compassion and excelled in misery and pain and suffering. but, despite all of that, he chose to believe there was something worth surviving for. eric was that constant thing. he was the love of his life, the light that guided him when he felt lonely or unsure or scared, and he didn't want to forget that. being miserable in this world would make him forget all the good, and he refused to do that. these walks they took were small, but they meant everything to aaron. he was able to spend time with eric away from the chaos of the community back at alexandria. just the two of them, taking a hike, and enjoying each other's presence. that's the only thing he wanted to focus on; not the death that surrounded them.
a part of him knew eric didn't feel quite the same. sometimes he could tell, just a little, that he was pretending just for him, and he appreciated it. he just wished eric could see what he saw through his own eyes. he'll never stop trying, though. he'll never stop putting a smile on eric's face or make him laugh just so he can hear that beautiful sound.
aaron couldn't help but chuckle at eric's statement, ❝ but, a cute, roasted tomato, and that's all that really matters, right? ❞ he joked, teasing him was his favorite pastime. he looked up at the sun briefly with his hand over his brow and then back at eric as he continued on foot, ❝ try to stick to the shadows of the trees. as much as i love to see you blush, i really don't want you to get hurt ❞ he added. his hands grip the straps of his backpack on either side of him as they traveled side by side. he knocked his hip against eric's, smiling to himself, ❝ yeah, it is nice. the weather is great up here ❞ he teased back. he shrugged lightly, ❝ no, i really think they shape me into the man i am. into the man you've come to know and love. am i wrong? ❞ he responded, wiggling his eyebrows at eric in a faux cocky fashion. these are the moments he lived for.
Was being called a cute roasted tomato the best compliment he'd ever received? As much as Eric would love to have said no, as he thought it over for a moment the sad truth was that it very well may have been pretty high up on the lifetime-compliments-list, if only because it had been Aaron ( that weirdo ) who said it. Though the sun-avoiding advice Aaron sent his way was both reasonable, fair, and sweet, Eric found himself ignoring it all together in lieu of weaving back and forth in a senseless pattern, the sun overhead ignored to the best of his abilities -- choosing to very obviously ignore the eyebrow wiggle seen in his peripheral vision. “ Hey, ” He began, a completley useless interjection given that he already had Aaron's full attention. “ You ever think about taking a reeeally long walk? I mean a 'once things are settled enough back home that they won't need you for a while' kind of long walk? ” It was a silly question, but for better or for worse 'silly' was a permanent fixture in their relationship ; and Eric really couldn't think of a better way to say yo let's blow this place off, head to Vermont, and go see if your childhood home is still standing ! From the outside looking in the question may have come across as out of the blue and completley off the cuff, but the thought of leaving, of momentarily abandoning their new home in hopes of revisiting a once-upon-a-time home, was something which crossed Eric's mind more and more often with each passing day.
i was just creepin’ through the scene where gracie’s dad dies and, like, can we appreciate the post-apocalyptic decorating skills her parents had? their shit was cute af AND they made their bed that morning i could quite literally cry about it : )
"Nah. Mom's parents passed away when I was little. My Aunt Lenore was cool, but she lives - lived - in Texas." A shrug of the burly teen's leather jacketed shoulders; the piece of clothing is similar to his father's - a gift and a way to ensure his child's loyalty and association with his father with the Saviors. Logan doubted Negan meant it as such, but it had helped cement his son's rule over the Saviors as his heir; that and the fact that Logan looked like a carbon copy of the older Smith. "And when I asked Dad about his Dad, he always got... this weird look on his face and said he didn't have a father. I didn't want to make him sad, so I stopped asking. My Grandma Jolene was awesome. I wish I could remember more about her, but she died when I was six."
Aunt Lenore down in Texas, a missing grandfather who was most likely a real piece of work, and grandma Jolene who hadn't left enough of a mark to remain fully-memorable ; if ever the communities held a Logan themed trivia night, Eric was sure to win . . . though the odds of that specific scenario coming to pass were, he would admit, extremely low.
“ Do you remember which part of Texas your aunt was from, and did you all get to visit often? ” Eric's own family had been spread out across multiple states, but visits were rare when it came to traveling back down south -- part of him wished that he felt worse about that fact , like maybe he should have cared that they'd all neglected to spend more time together ; but in truth? The extended portions of his family were as good as strangers to him in a lot of ways, and it was hard to miss people you hardly knew to begin with.
❝ sometimes, but not all the time. ❞ he answered simply. ❝ when they were younger, at the beginning of this, they were very confused, but they learned quickly that making too much noise would potentially put themselves and everyone else in danger. ❞ he explained. ❝ when the were younger, before all of this, they were quite the handful, especially our second oldest, he was quite the adventurous one when he wanted to be. broke a bone or two from climbing the damn tree we had in the backyard of our home after we told him not to climb it. ❞
“ Can't blame him for that one. ” Eric said with a smile, shrugging on the kids behalf. “ Broken bones are one of the top childhood rights of passage. For me it was a broken nose, but I think that counts all the same. ” It was his nose, and he'd been a little older than a child at that point, but surely teenage injuries could still count towards the childhood experience when viewed as a whole. “ How about you -- ever break anything? ”