A Broomhead Reviews Degrassi Junior High

Hello. I'm a broomhead who will review Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High.

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Fucking Mad AF

Okay so I was going to upload the review for episode 12 today. I had it finished, but tumblr was being a bitch and wouldn’t let me save my project. My tab crashed, and now I have to redo over half of the damn review. I’m really fucking mad right now and I’m not sure when I’ll feel like rewriting it. I may just put out a really short and shitty review of the rest of the episode tomorrow or something, cuz I really don’t wanna watch half the episode again. Sorry guys. I had to rant about this whole thing.

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S01E11: It’s Late!

I’ve been waiting for this episode. I’mma just jump right into it.

This episode starts off at a party at Lucy’s house. Spike and Shane are making out, other couples are dancing, and Joey and Wheels are upstairs for some reason. Jheels is making a comeback. Joey and Wheels then go downstairs and rudely interrupt Spike and Shane, and try flirting with Spike. Shane then leads Spike into the bedroom, where they can be alone. Saucy! Inside the bedroom, Spike and Shane lay down an make out. Ooh. Sexy time. Outside, Heather and Erica are looking for Spike because they have to leave. Joey and Wheels point them to the bedroom where Spike and Shane are canoodling. Heather and Erica bang on the door, but Spike and Shane won’t answer or open up. Rude. They just interrupted Spike and Shane’s moment!

One day on they way to school, Spike and her mom have an argument in the car. Spike is feeling pissy and hormonal. This is foreshadowing. Did I really just write that? This isn’t English class, I’m on Spring break!

Spike comes into class late, and Mr. Raditch decides to lecture her in front of the whole class. Shane tries smiling at her, but Spike, being pissy and hormonal, turns away angrily. Shane is confused. He’s not used to girls turning away his boyish smile and monster dick.

After class, Shane asks Spike to another party, but angrily says, “I don’t wanna go!” Then she walks away. Damn. Shane been turned down. Jheels then asks Shane what happened with Shane and Spike at the party. Shane smiles and answers, “wouldn’t you like to know?” Jheels believes they just kissed.

Yay! Melanie and Kathleen subplot! Well, not yay for Kathleen, but yay for Melanie! The girls are talking about romance, and Melanie says she would like a hickey. Kathleen the prude states that hickeys are gross. Melanie argues that they’re romantic. Snake then walks by, and Melanie says “hi”. Snake says “hi” back. They still like each other, I see. Melanie thinks Snake doesn’t like her, and says that she’ll never have a boyfriend. Kathleen says that she’s only 12, and she has plenty of time to get a boyfriend. “12 and 3/4, actually. That’s old,” Melanie replies. Oh, Melanie. Sweet, naive, Melanie. Ew. Arthur and Yick just have to make an appearance. The girls say hi to Arthur and Yick, and it’s obvious Yick has a crush on Melanie. Arthur tells Yick to ask Melanie out. Yick agrees to, and Arthur hobbles off to band practice with his trombone. Ew. Trombones. Clarinets rule!

Enjoy this poster with a misspelled word (and also Melanie and Snake staring at each other):

In the bathroom at the urinals, Jheels are playing with each others dicks. Just kidding. They’re talking about Lucy’s party, and Shane and Spike. Just then, Shane walks in. Jheels asks Shane what fucking was like. Shane asks, “What? You guys have never had sex?” Joey and Wheels say of course they have. Yeah. With your five fingers. Wheels asks Shane why Spike is mad at him. Shane says that she’s probably just in a mood. Joey suggests it’s her period.

In the girls’ bathroom. Heather and Erica ask Spike what’s up. Spike tells the twins that her period is extremely late. Spike thinks she is pregnant. The twins ask is she had sex with Shane and Spike is all, “yeppers peppers, his ding dong went into my hoo hah.”

After band practice, Arthur is talking to Melanie about some homework. Melanie thanks him for his help, but walks away before Yick can ask her out. Arthur says that Yick needs some serious help from him. Yick rightfully asks him what he knows about girls.

Spike and the twins are still talking in the bathroom. One of the twins says that you can’t get pregnant the first time fucking. The other twin says that’s bullshit.

The next day at school, Yick is practicing asking Melanie out with Arthur. “Your eyes are so blue, like swimming pools,” Yick says to Arthur. Enjoy Snake’s face in this photo:

“Hi Snake,” says Arthur. “Yeah, okay, Arthur,” snaps Snake. Snake is very weirded out by the Yarhur ship. Yick nervously walks up to Melanie. “Your eyes are so blue, they seem like pimming swools.” Nice one Yick. Melanie and Kathleen then laugh about “pimming swools”. Damn. Poor Yick.

In study hall, The twins try to convince Spike to get a pregnancy test. Spike says that it’s embarrassing, and that her mom will kill her if she finds out. Spike and Shane stare at each other across the room, and Shane smirks. After class, Shane tries to talk to Spike, but Spike is pissy with Shane for possibly impregnating her. Shane asks Spike why she’s so mad at him. Spike grabs his shirt and pulls him into a corner. Spike tells him that she thinks she’s pregnant. “This is a joke, right?” asks Shane. Spike shakes her head. Shane, being a fucking coward, walks away.

The next day in class, Voula and some other girls are looking at pictures of some baby. You got something to tell us, Voula? Spike and Shane walk into the classroom together, so maybe they’ve made up, I don’t know. They are then waved over to come see pictures of this random baby. Apparently it’s Voula’s sister’s baby. So Voula’s nephew? I don’t know why they wouldn’t just say that. Spike and Shane nervously walk over, since the whole topic of babies is kinda of touchy for them right now. Alexa says she can’t wait to grow up and have a baby. Lucy, being smart, says, “Are you kidding hoeface?! Babies piss and shit all the fucking time! Why the hell would you want that?!” Good Lucy. This makes Spike nervous, because she realizes that she’ll probably have to deal with all this soon. Class then starts and Raditch reads old love poems. We get this weird montage of Spike and Shane looking at each other across the room, and the twins a Joey looking around at the happy couple too.

In the boys’ bathroom, Shane goes in to take his regular piss when Jheels comes in to interrupt yet again. They ask Shane again if he and Spike fucked. Shane gets mad and walks off, but they follow him. He turns around though, and asks them what they would do if they got someone pregnant. Nice one Shane. Now Jheels know, and Joey doesn’t exactly seem like the most trustworthy guy in Degrassi. Joey asks if Spike is pregnant, and Shane says that she’s not, it was just a question. “It wouldn’t be the guy’s problem, right?” Shane asks. Joey, being smart for once, replies, “well, it’d sort of be his baby too.” Shane doesn’t like this answer, so he walks out of the bathroom without taking his piss.

Meanwhile, Yick plans to try to make a move on Melanie again. Arthur runs into Ms. Avery’s classroom and steals the flowers from her desk, and gives them to Yick to give to Melanie. Yick goes over to Melanie and just sticks the flowers in her face. Melanie then starts sneezing uncontrollably because she’s allergic to flowers. Kathleen then yells at Yick to leave. Sorry, Yick. I just don’t think it’s meant to be.

After school, Yick apologizes to Melanie for the flowers, then asks her to go skating with him. Melanie is thirsty, so she accepts. She’s going to imagine that Yick is Snake the whole time.

Spike goes to the store with the twins to get a pregnancy test after school. Spike goes home afterwards and Spike’s mom asks her about the bag she’s holding. Spike tries to hide it, but fails. Her mom gets mad that she won’t tell her what’s in it. She should have just said it’s pads or tampons or something. Spike and her mom get into a huge argument and Spike throws the bag at her mom. She takes the test out of the bag. Her face when she realizes what it is:

Spike then cries into her pillow and cuddles her teddy bear. I do that too. The phone rings and Spike’s mom answers it. It was Shane. Spike’s mom tells him she can’t talk to him right now and hangs up. Spike and her mom make up and hug.

The next day, Spike’s mom takes her to the doctor to get a test done. Spike apologizes, and says that she just wanted Shane to like her. Shane shows up, and Spike and Shane go in to get the results together. Spike’s mom tells her that she’s there for her no matter what.

At the ice rink, Melanie and Yick are on their date. Damn, these kids are like 12 or 13 and they’re already dating. I’m 16 and still have never been on a date. I feel lame. I love how Melanie is so much taller than Yick. They seem to be having fun.

Back at the clinic, Spike gets her results back. She’s pregnant. Spike and her mom hug and cry while Shane stands there awkwardly.

The next day at school Spike and Shane talk. Spike says it’s all his fault. “You don’t want me to marry you, do you?” Shane jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t really work. Spike says that she’s considering abortion, but Shane does not like this idea. They argue. And that’s how the episode ends. Well, damn. That was interesting.

Broomhead Count: 4. Yay!

Awesome Character: Spike, I guess, cuz I feel bad for her.

Best Moment: I don’t know. The use of the word “broomhead”.

Final thoughts: I don’t ship Melanie and Yick. I want Melanie with Snake. Shane needs to make up his mind. Is he going to help or not? I don’t really know what else.

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S01E10: Smokescreen

This episode starts off with Caitlin, Kathleen and Susie trying to get people to sign a petition to help the environment or something, when in walks Rick. Caitlin gets instantly wet.

By the way, can we just talk about how Rick reminds me of the guy in the music video for Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups? He just kinda looks like him.

Anyway, Rick then signs the petition, and then tells Caitlin that he’ll cash her ousside, how bow dah? Just kidding, he says he’ll catch her later. Susie tells Caitlin that Rick totally wants to get in her pants, and that he’s cute. Kathleen says that he’s dumb, and a criminal. No one asked for your opinion, Kathleen. Jeez, this is why nobody likes you. Caitlin says that maybe all he needs is a little help.

Oh great! It’s another Yick and Arthur subplot! Nobody likes them either! In Ms. Avery’s class, they’re doing a project on family history. Yick has to tell the story of his family, but doesn’t want to.

Meanwhile, Ms. Avery asks Rick why he didn’t turn in his assignment, and gives him a speech about not repeating the same mistakes he made last year. Caitlin stares longingly at him. Rick then leaves and punches a locker.

Arthur asks Yick to play basketball with him, but Yick says that he needs to research for his project. He’s gonna make up some shit about his family because he thinks his actual family’s history is boring. Apparently he is a refugee.

Meanwhile, Rick is smoking in the boys’ bathroom. Shane comes in and informs Rick of the many negative effects of smoking cigarettes as he whips out his giant dick to take a piss in the urinal. Rick does not care. He then asks Shane for advice on how to get Caitlin to like him. Shane suggests he join the Environmental Action committee. Rick decides to try it.

Rick goes into the club’s meeting, and Kathleen asks why he’s there. Rick says he wants to join obviously. “What do you know about the environment?” Kathleen asks. “I live in it,” Rick answers. I love that. Caitlin tells Kathleen to just let him join, and Kathleen reluctantly agrees. Rick sits next to Caitlin. Aw!

As much as I ship Caitlin and Joey in the later seasons, Caitlin and Rick are also really cute together. I’m kinda torn between the ships.

After the meeting, Kathleen tells Caitlin she doesn’t want Rick in the club. She basically calls Rick dumb again, and Caitlin gets defensive, saying that they should give him a chance. Aw. True love. <3

Ew, Arthur and Yick time. For his project, Yick buys a vase for 5 bucks and brings it to school. He lies and tells Arthur that it’s been in his family for a really long time. He says it’s very valuable. Arthur is intrigued.

Next scene. LOL! The announcement over the loudspeaker. “Will anyone who had the tuna surprise for lunch please see Nurse Silver before going home.”

Anyway, Caitlin asks Rick to help her with an announcement she’s going to make about the club. Rick instantly accepts. And also gets a hard on.

Arthur breaks Yick’s vase. Bad Arthur.

On the way to Caitlin’s house, Rick and Caitlin walk by a factory, so they talk about pollution. How sexy.

To avoid telling Yick that he broke the vase, Arthur writes a note to Yick saying that he took it to an antique dealer to get it appraised. Yick then freaks out. We got a bunch of dirty fuckin’ liars in this episode.

At Caitlin’s house, Rick and Caitlin talk about their parents a bit, and then start working on the announcement together. Rick tells Caitlin her announcement is boring. Caitlin looks saddened by this. But have no fear, Rick has an idea to make it more interesting.

The next day, Caitlin and Rick show up to make their announcement. Their announcement is a rap. Caitlin sounded so Canadian when she said “about”. Anyway, the rap is a success, and lots of people sign their petition.

The next day at school, Yick greets Arthur, but Arthur, guilty about breaking Yick’s vase, runs away so he won’t have to tell him the truth. Yick finds Arthur in the bathroom, hiding in a stall. Arthur says that it’s still being appraised, and that the antique dealer says it’s very interesting. Yick is confused. For some reason Shane is in the bathroom too, looking very confused by their conversation. Shane goes to the bathroom a lot. He must have a small bladder.

At the Environmental Action Committee’s meeting, Rick and Kathleen argue about the petition. Kathleen thinks that the owners of the factory won’t listen to them, but Rick wants to turn it in anyway to impress Caitlin. Uh oh. Drrraaammmaaa.

At Caitlin’s house, Caitlin asks Susie what she thinks of Rick. Susie says he’s nice. Susie remarks that Caitlin is treating Rick like her experiment and that she should just admit she likes him. Caitlin says he’s not her type.

Arthur does a very shitty job of gluing the vase back together.

The next day Caitlin, Rick, and Susie take the petition to the factory. They talk to a guy who works at the factory, and he assures them that they aren’t polluting. Susie says that the newspapers say they faked all their tests and stuff. The guy denies it, stating that they haven’t had any complaints. Rick then complains, and attempts to fight the man. Caitlin makes him calm down. Rick is getting kind of aggressive.

Afterwards, Rick gets pissed off and goes for a smoke. Kathleen witnesses him in the act, and of course brings it up at the next meeting. Rick gets pissy and exits the meeting pissily, punching more lockers on the way out. Rick waits for Caitlin after the meeting is over, but she is mad at him because he made her look dumb after she stood up for him and tried to help him. This makes Rick mad. He tells her that he only joined the committee because he liked her, not so he could be her charity case. Oh boy. All the feelings come out.

The next day at school, Arthur shows Yick the vase. Yick is mad because he doesn’t have anything for his project. Arthur tells him to just tell the story of how he and his family got to Canada. Yick does that. The class enjoys the story. Enough of Arthur and Yick.

After class, Kathleen badmouths Rick to Caitlin again. Kathleen then proposes her new name for the club, which is even more long and boring than the original name. “What do you think?” she asks Caitlin. “Kathleen, I think you’re a real jerk,” Caitlin responds badassly as she storms away.

After school, Caitlin apologizes to Rick for calling him dumb and saying he needs help, and thanks him for helping them. She also tells him he was right about the factory ignoring them. Rick then suggests they call the newspaper and ask them to write a story about how the company totally ignored them. Caitlin likes this idea so much that she kisses Rick on the cheek. Awwww!!! The end.

Broomhead Count: 1. The only good thing about the Arthur and Yick plots.

Awesome Character: Hmmm... I guess Rick.

Best Moment: “What do you know about the environment?” “I live in it.” and also, “Kathleen, I think you’re a real jerk.”

Final thoughts: All the characters kinda annoyed me in this episode. Kathleen was being a little bitch like always, Arthur and Yick always annoy me, Caitlin was annoying with treating Rick like her charity case, and Rick was rude at times in this episode.

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S01E09: What a Night

So y’all... I’m sorry I took a break... a very long break... without telling y’all. I just got really lazy. I actually wrote like 1/3 of this review a few months ago... but forgot to save the draft... and then I didn’t have the energy to rewrite it... But I’m back now, and hopefully I won’t be stupid and forget to save my reviews anymore. I’mma try to get back into reviewing. So here’s the long awaited review of What a Night!

We start off this episode with Lucy shopping. My! She looks so grown up, shopping all by herself! How old is she in this? Like 12 or 13 or something? My, I never went shopping by myself at that age. I still don’t. I’m 16, I still go with my mother! Or my friends... I totally have those... Anyway, Lucy starts looking at this lovely purple scarf and.. oh... she’s putting it in her purse... oh... she stole it... Damn.

After the theme song, the children are in class, being bored to death by Raditch. He says they better study for their spelling test, or he’s gonna throw a pissy fit. Raditch’s pissy fits are not fun. After class, we see Lucy wearing the Scarf of Thievery! Voula compliments Lucy’s scarf, not realizing it’s one of thievery. Raditch then asks Lucy to stay behind. Uh oh. Somebody’s in troouuubblleeeee... Raditch tells her that her grades suck and that she needs to get off her lazy ass and actually work. Lucy does not care. She then goes to study hall where Stephanie and the twins are watching a soap opera titled Days of Passion.

Meanwhile, Joey and Wheels do this:

Voula then asks Lucy what Raditch wanted. Lucy explains, and Voula offers to help Lucy study for the spelling test. Lucy accepts.

After school, Voula and Lucy study together. Lucy doesn’t try very hard. Lucy’s mom calls to tell her that she’ll be working late. Lucy then gives Voula a makeover.

Voula then has to leave, or else her old-fashioned father will be pissy with her for not being home on time. Lucy then lets Voula borrow the Scarf of Thievery. After Voula leaves, Lucy’s mom calls again to tell her she’ll be home even later. Lucy realizes that she is now very lonely, and cries as she eats sushi.

The next day is the big spelling test. Receive? Paralysis? Corroborate? Hierarchy? Why is he giving them such easy words? Damn.

After class, Stephanie and the twins decide to go to the library to meet the male star of the soap opera they were watching, because they think he’s hot. Ew. He looks like a pedophile.

As Stephanie approaches, he eyes her up and down. Gross. Definitely a pedo.”Anything for a fan,” he says. He asks Stephanie how old she is. She lies and says 16. He then stares at her boobs. Disgusting. “Sweet sixteen,” the pedobear says. He then kisses her cheek, and Stephanie fangirls. One of the twins looks at the paper he signed. He wrote his number on it. Damn. He trying to get into a child’s panties. So gross.

The next day in class, the kids get their spelling tests back. Lucy passed. Yay. To thank Voula for her help, she offers to take her shopping.

After school Stephanie goes into a phone booth to call Damon King, the pedophile. Stephanie gets a date with him. No. Bad Stephanie. Heather tries to convince her not to go because Damon is a creep. Yes. Good Heather. Stephanie doesn’t listen. No. Bad Stephanie.

Meanwhile, Lucy and Voula are shopping. Lucy stuffs a necklace into her purse while Voula isn’t looking. No. Bad Lucy. Voula spots a sweater she likes, so Lucy puts it in her purse.Voula does not think this is a good idea. A woman sees the crime take place and the girls get caught.

Damon picks up Stephanie in his car. Eeeeewwww ew ew ew.

Lucy and Voula get lectured on why shoplifting is wrong while they’re waiting for the police arrive. Lucy gives Voula advice on how to deal with the popo, since Lucy’s had a few run-ins with the law before.The cop arrives and is not happy to see Lucy again.

Meanwhile in pedoland, Damon takes Stephanie to a motel. Ewwwww I do NOT like where this is going. Stephanie then runs out of Damon’s car, terrified. Damon gets out after Stephanie and tries to kiss her. Stephanie then tells him that she’s really 14. Damon runs back into his car and speeds off.

Back at the mall, Lucy tries to tell the popo that the shoplifting was all her fault, not Voula’s. The officer doesn’t buy it, and takes them down to the station.

At the motel, Stephanie calls her mom to come pick her up.

At the police station, Voula is pissed off at Lucy. Voula’s parents come to pick her up and are pissed. The officer then tells Lucy that they’ll have to charge her this time for her crime.

At school, Stephanie tells the twins about what happened with Damon. Yuck.

Voula tells Lucy that she’s not allowed to talk to her anymore, and Lucy says that she has to go to court and do family counseling with her parents. Voula then offers to continue helping Lucy in school. Yay, happy endings.

Broomhead Count: 0. Boo.

Awesome Character: Heather, for being smart about Damon.

Best Moment: Joey and Wheels’ canoodling. New ship: Jheels.

Final Thoughts: Shoplifting is bad. Pedophilia is bad. Be careful, kids. Don’t get involved with creepy old men and crime. I now have the song Shoplifter by Green Day in my head.

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S01E08: Nothing to Fear

Before starting this review, I just wanna say sorry for being gone for a while. I’ve been busy with band camp because I’m a band geek. There may not be another one for a while, since school starts for me soon, but I should be able to make more once marching season ends and I won’t be busy with practice and homework every day after school. Without further ado, I present you with this review! Hey, that rhymed!

An LD episode. This is the first episode where LD is the main character. This episode starts with LD walking into her dad’s garage with some weird country sounding song playing in the background. Apparently, LD’s dad fixes cars for a living. As LD is getting her bike to ride off to school, her dad tells her that she needs to clean the kitchen after school. LD protests, saying that he was supposed to let her help him change Mr. Jeremiah’s transmission after school. Her dad responds that she’s supposed to be turning into a lady, and to get rid of the cap she’s wearing because it’s not lady-like. This pisses off LD. LD gets on her bike, mumbling the words, “drop dead” as she rides off. Harsh. In his garage, LD’s dad starts having chest pains. Uh oh. Looks like LD may get her wish.

At school, Ms. Avery assigns her grade 8 class a mapping project. LD is partnered with Voula and Spike.

Ew. Another Arthur and Yick subplot. Honestly, these Arthur and Yick subplots don’t add anything to the episode. All they do is fill up the rest of the episode with their silliness and stupidity. These reviews would be shorter without them, and would take a lot less time to write. Anyway, this time, Arthur and Yick lost a snake, and Melanie is freaked out. I love how Melanie likes Snake, but is scared of snakes.

LD comes home from school, and her dad’s assistant or whatever the fuck he is tells LD that her dad is in the hospital.LD immediately gets freaked out because she hates hospitals.

Meanwhile, Voula and Spike are waiting outside the school, because LD said that she would meet them there after she’s done cleaning the kitchen. LD never shows up though, because she has to go visit her dad.

At home, LD is getting things her dad needs so she can bring them to him. She comes across a picture of her mom and apparently, LD’s mom died. I guess that’s why LD is scared of hospitals, because her mom died in one.

Voula and Spike call LD about the project. LD says she forgot, and that she can’t. Spike is pissy. LD tells this Jeff guy (the assistant or whatever) that she doesn’t want to go see her dad. LD bein’ a pussy.

The next day at school, Arthur makes an announcement about the missing snake. Melanie walks into school wearing these ridiculous ass boots because she’s so scared of the snake. Snake (the person) walks by and tells Melanie, “nice boots”. How embarrassing.

In gym class, LD starts talking to Spike and Voula, but they are pissed at her. Spike is sick of LD’s excuses when LD says she can’t help with the project again after school. Spike releases all her anger onto LD. LD then tells them that her dad is in the hospital, and Spike immediately feels like a bitch and apologizes, saying that they’ll cover her for the project.

After school, LD goes to the hospital with some flowers to give to her dad, but chickens out and hands them to the lady at the desk to give to him. LD just can’t seem to get over her fear.

A few minutes later, LD goes outside and calls her dad from a phone booth. She tells him that she couldn’t see him because she has to go do her school project. Fuckin’ liar. We all know she isn’t gonna do one bit of work on that stupid project. Spike was right. LD’s dad tells her, “that kitchen better be clean when I come home woman!”

Meanwhile, Arthur, Yick, and Susie are in the boiler room looking for the snake, blah blah blah, who fucking cares? Not me, that’s who.

Melanie is at her locker, and Alex the loser and his “friends” (since when did Alex have friends?) hang a toy snake over her locker to scare her. Melanie sees it and shouts, “SNAKE!” The boys laugh, while Snake (the person) peers over his locker and answers, “yeah?” Best part of the episode, right there.

In the next scene, Voula, because she’s a good person, is taking donations so she can get flowers to give to LD’s dad.

At lunch, Voula and Spike go to the hospital to give the flowers to LD’s dad. He tells the girls that LD hasn’t visited him yet because of her mapping project. I can read Spike’s mind right now. She’s thinking, “Oh hell no! How dare that bitch fuckin’ lie?”

When they get back from the hospital, Voula finds LD sitting in the gym alone, being sad. How depressing.

LD and Voula have a therapy session in the gym. Last year my friends and I had a therapy session in a practice room in the band hall.

Back at school, the two idiots Arthur and Yick are still looking for the snake. Melanie finds him in a bag in the library. Melanie gets over her fear of snakes and Alex turns out to be scared of snakes. Yay. The end of that plot line.

LD goes to the hospital to visit her dad. Her therapy session with Voula has given her the strength to face her fear. She walks into her dad’s hospital room, but he’s not there. He died. A few minutes later he walks into the room. He’s been resurrected! Whoa! Is he Jesus? LD, I think you better be nicer to your father. He’s JESUS!!! Happy ending. The end.

Broomhead Count: 0. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?

Awesome Character: Spike. She’s right, people who don’t help on group projects suck.

Best Moment: I already said it up there. I’m too lazy to type it again.

Final Thoughts: I guess this episode’s Arthur/Yick subplot was alright, since half of it was actually Melanie. I always love watching Melanie be awkward and embarrass herself. Also I guess the subplot served a purpose, since in was about facing your fears, like the main plot.

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E07: The Best Laid Plans

At school, Joey is flirting with Stephanie as usual, but this time Stephanie does not accept his advances. Instead, she goes over to Wheels’ locker. She apologizes to him for getting piss-ass drunk on their last “date” and asks him out again. Wheels is happier than a pig in shit.

Later in the day, Wheels tells Joey about how he’s going out with Stephanie. Joey is obviously jealous, but pretends not to be. Joey then tells the rest of their friends, and Shane says, “she’s the sexiest girl in the school”. Ummm... Shane, aren’t you dating Spike?

Meanwhile in the girl’s bathroom, Stephanie, who for some reason still thinks Voula is her bestie, excitedly tells Voula that she asked out Wheels and he said yes. Voula doesn’t give a shit. The twins come into the bathroom and excitedly ask Stephanie for all the sexual details.

Oh no. ANOTHER Arthur and Yick subplot. How many of these are there going to be? This time, Arthur and Yick are planning to watch porn. Yep.

Back in the bathroom, the twins ask Stephanie how she’s going to dress sexily for her date without her mom noticing. Stephanie doesn’t know. After school, Stephanie goes over the the pharmacy, where her mom apparently works. She hears her mom talking on the phone to some guy named “Micheal”. Stephanie smiles, because apparently her mom has a date with him the same night Stephanie is going out with Wheels. Stephanie realizes that this gives her the perfect opportunity to dress sexily for her date without her mom noticing. All she has to do is make sure her mom leaves the house before she does!

The next day at school, Yick finds out that Stephanie is Arthur’s sister, and asks Arthur why he never told him that. Arthur replies that he never got around to it. He says hi to Stephanie in the hall, and Stephanie tells him to fuck off because she doesn’t talk to grade 7s. Arthur asks Stephanie if her and their mom will be out anytime during the weekend, and Stephanie tells him that they’ll both be out Friday night. Arthur is happy because now him and his boyfriend Yick can watch porn and have sexy-time together in peace.

In the library, Stephanie and the twins are talking about Stephanie’s date for Friday. One of them asks Stephanie what she’ll do if Wheels tries something. Stephanie says, “maybe I’ll let him”. Woah. The twins are shocked. Shane and this asian kid are behind the girls and overhear this. They are also shocked. Shane shouldn’t act so surprised. I mean, him and Spike get down and dirty a few episodes later.

Shane and the asian kid run to the boys bathroom, where Wheels and Joey are peeing together. They tell Wheels that Stephanie wants his D. Wheels is shocked, because he isn’t sure if he’s ready to go all the way with Stephanie Kaye just yet. Joey is just shocked cause he’s jealous. Wheels then says that if Steph wants it, she’ll get it. Wheels has made his decision. He will go all the way with Stephanie Kaye. The popular boys leave the bathroom, and, uh oh, Arthur comes out of the stall after taking a big smelly shit. He heard everything the boys were saying about Stephanie, and he’s disturbed.

During class, Stephanie tries to get Wheels’ attention, but fails, so she does this stupid thing where she drops something that makes a loud noise to get him to look at her, the class looks at her, Raditch reprimands her, she picks it up and hands Wheels a note she was writing to him. Now the whole class is whispering about Wheels going all the way with Stephanie Kaye.

After class the twins are talking about what they think of Steph and Wheels going all the way. Heather doesn’t like it. Erica calls Heather a prude. I’d like to hear Stacy’s opinion. Y’all remember Stacy? Maybe she’s not here because she’s in grade 7 and Stephanie doesn’t talk to grade 7s. Stephanie says that sex is no big deal. Voula walks by and calls Stephanie a slut. Stephanie and the twins get pissed off by this and leave.

Downstairs, Stephanie and the twins walk past Melanie and Kathleen, and Kathleen tells Melanie that she can’t believe their school president is being such a slut. Melanie says that there’s nothing wrong with sex as long as Stephanie loves him (Melanie is always right). Kathleen replies, “it’s not sex that’s wrong, it’s sex before marriage”. Hate to break it to you Kathleen, but teenagers have sex all the time. Get over it. Gosh, why does Kathleen have to be such a judgemental bitch? Melanie basically says what I just said about teenagers having sex, that they’re going to do it no matter what people say, and Kathleen says, “that doesn’t make it right. I’m saving myself for my husband”. Melanie, being the wonderful savage that she is, replies, “what husband? Who would be stupid enough to marry you?” Melanie is always right.

After school, Wheels is out walking his dog with his dad. Wheels asks his dad how old he was when he first had sex. I don’t know about you, but that is something I would not want to know about my parents. Wheels’ dad says that he was older than Wheels when he first had sex. Wheels asks some more questions, and his dad is all, “ooooh boy. This is gonna take a while”. Then they sit down talk.

Back at Stephanie’s house, Stephanie and her mom have pretty much the same conversation Wheels just had with his dad.

The next day of school is the day of the big night. Joey is excited for Wheels, and embarrasses him by asking him very loudly if he has protection, and uses all these different words for “condoms”. Joey should be having that conversation with Shane, not Wheels. Voula overhears this, and goes to the bathroom where she asks Stephanie if she’s really gonna have sex with Wheels. Stephanie says that she wants Wheels to like her, and that she really does want to have sex with him. “Do you really?” Voula asks. Stephanie stands there and says nothing. Voula is about to leave, but then apologizes for calling Stephanie a big dirty whore.

After school, Joey makes Wheels go into the pharmacy to get condoms. As they’re looking, Joey reads the names of all the condom brands very loudly. An old woman in the next aisle looks over at them. Joey decides that Wheels needs professional help, so he calls over the pharmacist, who happens to be STEPHANIE’S MOTHER, to help them pick out condoms. Joey then ditches Wheels. Wheels is left alone in the condom section, with Stephanie’s mom asking if she can help. Wheels says he’d like to buy condoms, and she checks him out. Stephanie’s mom hands Wheels a brochure about safe sex, and Wheels thanks her and leaves as fast as he can. I’m  sorry, I need a moment.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, I’m okay now.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Yick are talking about watching porn again. Yick asks if its okay if he invites a few more people to come and watch. Yick wants to have an orgy. Arthur says sure, and Yick says that he’ll be back later once Arthur’s mom is out of the house. Yick literally taps his feet together in glee. Arthur asks Stephanie about Wheels, and Stephanie tells him that it’s none of his business. Their mom comes home, and Arthur asks her what time her date is picking her up at. She says 7:30. Stephanie internally panics, because her mom originally said 7:00. Uh oh. Now she won’t have time to make her self up before her date, or else her mom will find out.

At dinner, Stephanie’s mom tells Stephanie and Arthur about a young boy who went into the pharmacy earlier that day in search for condoms. She thinks that now would be a good time to have the talk with her kids. Little does she know that the young boy has a raging hard on for her daughter, and her daughter has feelings for him as well.

Awwww Wheels bought flowers for Stephanie!!!

Stephanie’s mom gives her this:

Uh oh. Wheels shows up at Steph’s house at the same time Ms. Kaye’s date shows up. And they have the same flowers for their dates. Awwwwkkkkwaaaard.

Well, Ms. Kaye sees Wheels when Arthur answers the door. Awwwwkkkkwaaaard.

Also

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, I’m okay now.

Anyway, Stephanie’s mom finds out about the way Stephanie dresses, and she has the talk with Stephanie. And Wheels. Together. MAN. Talk about EMBARRASSING!

The next week at school, apparently Stephanie and Voula are finally friends again.

Stephanie is grounded for 2 weeks.

This is the end of Stephanie and Wheels.

Our bae Stephanie Kaye has fallen.

Broomhead Count: 0. Boo.

Awesome Character: I don’t know. Stephanie’s mom.

Best Moment: Joey and Wheels shopping for condoms.

Final Thoughts: Cringe AF. Glad to see Voula and Stephanie being friends again. Voula was starting to annoy me a bit. I love how the episode is called The Best LAID Plans. Get it? Because Wheels was about to get laid?

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E06: Rumor Has It

Omg! It’s our first real Caitlin episode! The episode starts off with the grade 7s in Ms. Avery’s class. Caitlin tells Susie about how Ms. Avery is the best teacher ever. Ms. Avery asks Caitlin to go up to her desk. Ms. Avery tells Caitlin that her essay was great, and that she’s the best student she’s ever had. Kathleen, being the little bitch she is, starts running her mouth. “Ms. Avery’s gay, you know. She’s a lesbian,” she says. So what, Kathleen? Ms. Avery tells Caitlin that she doesn’t care what everyone else says. The whole class starts gossiping, which makes Caitlin uncomfortable. Caitlin then wakes up. It turns out she was just dreaming.

Caitlin is now awake, and it’s time for school. Ugh, reality. Waking up is hard to do. Anyway, Caitlin is talking to Susie on the way into school about a sleepover or something. Rick says hi to Caitlin as he rides his bike past the girls. Caitlin is in love. Susie takes a picture of Rick for some reason. Weird. Kathleen is sitting on the steps with some other girl, and they watch as Ms. Avery gets dropped off at the school by another woman. Kathleen wonders if the rumors about Ms. Avery being a lesbian are true. The other girl tells Kathleen that they’re just rumors. Kathleen replies that she’s never seen Ms. Avery with any men. Maybe because your teacher’s love life is none of your business, Kathleen?

In the dark room, Caitlin tells Susie that she’s been having weird dreams lately. Susie tells Caitlin that dreams are supposed to reveal your inner desires. Susie asks Caitlin to tell her about her dreams, but Caitlin’s like, “no”. Susie thinks they’re about Rick. Caitlin tells her that they’re not.

Aw man! We got a Yick and Arthur scene. These bore me so much. Yick and Arthur are doing a presentation in class. No one cares about their presentation over the neighborhood watch program. Seriously.

In the hall, Kathleen and that other chick, I think her name is Annie, see Ms. Avery talking to Raditch. Annie thinks it would be romantic if they were having an affair. Kathleen tells her that “lezzies” aren’t interested in men. Melanie asks Kathleen what’s wrong with being gay. Kathleen then asks her if she’s a “lezzie” too. Melanie says, “no, but I’m not prejudiced either.” This is one of the many reasons why Melanie is 1000x better than Kathleen. I dislike Kathleen very much.

UUUUGGGGHHH. More Arthur and Yick. Not gonna go into detail, just that Mr. Yu the Disorganized has a very messy locker. Arthur says that their project over neighborhood watch was stimulating. Okay, Arthur. Okay. Yick apparently lost $20 in his locker. Boring. Arthur jumps to the conclusion that someone stole it. No, it couldn’t possibly be in that pile over papers that’s overflowing from Mr. Yu the Disorganized’s locker.

At Caitlin’s sleepover, that Annie chick prank calls Mr. Raditch. Okay. The prank call was really lame. Now Caitlin has to prank call Ms. Avery. She doesn’t want to, but does it anyway. When Caitlin calls, some lady picks up and tells her that Ms. Avery isn’t home. Kathleen thinks the lady was Ms. Avery’s girlfriend. Caitlin says that it’s just a rumor that Ms. Avery is a lesbian, but Kathleen says that everyone knows she’s gay. Blah blah blah, more Kathleen making stuff up, blah blah blah.

A few days later. outside of the school, Kathleen and Annie see Ms. Avery get dropped off by that lady again. But this time, they see Ms. Avery kissing the lady on the cheek.

We’re back to the useless Arthur and Yick subplot. Apparently they bought some fingerprint thing that they’re gonna use to figure out who stole Yick’s $20. Arthur says that they need a prime suspect. 

Rick comes by during class and offers Caitlin some licorice. He says he’s rich now, because he won $100 in the lottery. You win $100 in the lottery and you spend it on licorice? Why? Kathleen spreads more rumors about Ms. Avery during class. Kathleen asks Caitlin if she heard about the kiss. Melanie says that she heard it was just a peck. It’s obvious that Melanie is getting tired of Kathleen’s shit. I mean, I am too. Kathleen is so annoying. Once class starts, Kathleen raises her hand to ask Ms. Avery if she has a boyfriend. Kathleen doesn’t know how to mind her own damn business. Ms. Avery answers that question in the best way possible. “Hundreds, but I don’t know what business that is of yours.” SAVAGE.

Meanwhile in the land of Arthur and Yick, they suspect Rick was the one who stole Yick’s money, because they don’t believe he won $100 in the lottery.They think he stole the licorice. Enough of this plot. Back to Caitlin.

In the dark room, Susie is wondering if lesbians really kiss and stuff. Caitlin is fed up with this rumor about Ms. Avery and basically tells Susie to shut it for once. Susie brings up the fact that Ms. Avery likes to touch people. That sounds wrong. She likes to touch people, but not like that. Ugh. This sounds wrong either way.

That night, Caitlin has another dream about Ms. Avery. It’s pretty much the same dream as last time, except this time the class is gossiping about Caitlin being a lesbian.

Arthur and Yick are now spying on Yick at school. Damn. What is with these two and spying on people? First Snake, and now Rick?! Seriously. That’s really creepy.

Uh oh. Kathleen and Annie are now spreading rumors about Caitlin being a lesbian too. Why can’t they mind their own business? So what if Caitlin is questioning? Leave her alone. Kathleen says to Susie, “I wouldn’t want to be in a dark room with her, in case she tries something.” This upsets Susie.

Ugggghhhh Arthur and Yick are following Rick. Leave the dude alone. He didn’t steal your damn money, Yick’s locker is just too damn messy and he can’t keep track of his own belongings. Oh my god. They follow Rick in the bathroom and watch him as he takes a piss! That’s just nasty! He catches the two boys watching him, but just assumes that they want licorice, so he throws licorice at them. So done with this plot line. Seriously.

After school in the dark room, Susie is babbling on about random shit that no one cares about. Caitlin asks her what’s up, because apparently that’s not normal for Susie. Susie says that’s she’s just excited about the pictures. When Caitlin accidentally touches Susie when hanging up a picture, she freaks out. Caitlin asks her what’s wrong again. Susie then asks Caitlin if she’s a lesbian. She tells Caitlin that some people have been saying that she is, but Susie tells them that she’s not. Caitlin gets pissed off, and leaves.

That night Caitlin has a conversation with her teddy bear about everything that’s been happening. Aww! She tells Mr. Teddy that she doesn’t want to be different.

The next day in class, Ms. Avery hands the students back some papers. When she gives Caitlin hers, she touches Caitlin lightly on the shoulder. We just saw her do this to Alex as well. Caitlin tells her not to touch her, which earns her some looks from the class and confusion from Ms. Avery. When the bell rings, Ms. Avery asks Caitlin to stay after class. Ms. Avery asks Caitlin what’s going on. Caitlin tells Ms. Avery about the rumors going around that she (Ms. Avery) is a lesbian. “Really?” Ms. Avery asks. Ms. Avery clears up that the woman she is always hanging out with is her roommate, not her girlfriend. Caitlin says that people are saying she’s gay too, because of her dreams. Ms. Avery tells her that her dreams are normal.

UGH! NOT MORE ARTHUR AND YICK CRAP. Rick catches the two spying on him again, and asks them why they’ve been following him. They accuse him of stealing the money from Yick’s locker. Rick tells them that they’re crazy, and to stop following him around, because he didn’t steal any money.

They then find the money is Mr. Yu the Disorganized’s locker. The end of that stupid plot.

The episode then ends happily with Caitlin and Ms. Avery getting everything sorted out.

Broomhead Count: 1

Awesome Character: Caitlin

Best Moment: Caitlin and Ms. Avery’s Conversation

Final Thoughts: Kathleen is a little bitch

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E05: The Great Race

We start out this episode with a shot of Melanie’s boobs. Don’t worry, though. They’re covered up. It looks like Melanie is on the swim team, so she is wearing her swimsuit. Melanie is looking in the mirror because she’s insecure about her small boobs. Same, Melanie. Same. Anyway, Melanie complains to LD about how her mom won’t let her get a bra, but she thinks she needs one. Melanie asks LD what she thinks. LD doesn’t know how to answer that question. LD responds, “Umm... sure. Whatever floats your boat, kid.” Melanie says that maybe her mom needs glasses.

After the theme song plays, we see the girls at their swim meet. Melanie is swimming, and it looks like Degrassi won. Good for them.

After class the next day, Joey flirts with Stephanie, again, despite the fact that she likes Wheels, not Joey. Joey says that he got an A in sex-ed last year, so if there’s anything Stephanie would like to know, Joey “Playboy” Jeremiah will be at her service. Ew. If anyone used that pick-up line on me they would be slapped. That one is just gross. LD then comes up to Stephanie and brags about winning the swim meet. Stephanie obviously doesn’t care, but pretends to, because it would be rude if she didn’t. LD asks if she’s gonna make an announcement about it, and Stephanie says that the school president doesn’t announce sports, some dude named Jason Cox does.

Boo, an Arthur and Yick subplot. These are always so boring to write about. Ugh, I’ll suck it up and do it anyway. Apparently the boys keep a measuring tape of whatever in their lockers, and they’ve been measuring themselves because they want to grow. They’re frustrated because they haven’t grown at all. Boo hoo. I’m short too. Now suck it up, whiny babies. You’ll grow. Arthur and Yick then see Snake walk by, and they stare at him because he’s tall. That’s not creepy at all... Snake then goes to his locker. which is next to Melanie’s. Melanie then stares at him because she likes him. Snake notices, and he looks over at her and smiles. Awww. Melanie gets shy, and looks away. Same, Melanie. Same. Snake walks away, and Melanie stares as he walks away, and LD walks up to Melanie, noticing her staring at Snake. LD figures out that Melanie likes Snake.

Next, this “Jason Cox” comes to Doris’ desk right before announcements start, and says that he has an announcement. He announces the boys soccer game that is after school, and that’s it. LD, being a feminist, then gets offended because he didn’t announce the girl’s swim team’s win.

After school, Arthur and Yick spy on Snake some more. They are fascinated by his tall-ness. Arthur thinks they should find out what he eats, so that they can be tall like him too.

LD and Melanie go up to Jason Cox to complain about him not saying anything about the swim team on the announcements. Jason says that there wasn’t enough time to announce the swim team because he has a soccer game. LD says that it wouldn’t have taken that long. Jason then says that girls aren’t good athletes, and all the girls get offended. LD responds that they Soccer team loses every game, and that at least the swim team can win. Jason says they’re just unlucky. LOL. Sure, Jason. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Jason says that they’d win if they had to swim against girls. LD takes this as a challenge, and challenges them to a swim race on Friday, Girls VS. Boys. Jason accepts the challenge. Dumbass. Snake, who was watching this whole thing unfold, smiles at Melanie, and rides away on his bike. *Sigh* Why can’t my crush notice me the way Snake notices Melanie? Not fair. Anyway, Melanie smiles back like a dork. Same, Melanie. Same, if guys ever noticed me.

LD and Melanie are hanging out, and LD complains about how Jason is sexist. Melanie isn’t listening, and is thinking about Snake. Melanie says that Snake probably thinks she’s a little kid because her mom won’t let her get a bra. LD has had enough of Melanie’s bra problem, so LD drags her to the store to buy her own bra. Melanie and LD fool around at the bra store, and a lady who works in the store asks if she can help. LD tells her that Melanie wants to buy a bra. The lady measures Melanie, and finds the perfect bra for her.

The next day in the girl’s bathroom, LD asks Stephanie to do the whole “Ready, Set, Go!” thing at the race against the boys. Stephanie asks if she can wear her new bikini. LD says sure. Melanie comes out of the stall, wearing her new bra. LD and Stephanie tell her it looks great, even though it looks really weird.

Melanie walks out of the bathroom, and Joey makes fun of her bra. Yeah.

Meanwhile, the soccer boys are complaining about how they’re going to lose. They decide to get Snake to join the team and swim with them against the girls, because Snake is good at swimming.

At lunch, Arthur and Yick spy on Snake some more. The whole subplot is really weird. Jason walks up to Snake and asks him to swim with them. At first, Snake doesn’t want to, but Jason convinces him to. After Jason leaves, Snake notices Arthur and Yick watching him. He is rightfully creeped out. Arthur asks if he’s eating yogurt, and Snake says that he is. Arthur thanks him and the Arthur and Yick walk away. Yick says that yogurt doesn’t make you tall because he eats it all the time, and he’s still a shortstack. Arthur suggests that maybe it’s what Snake is eating after school that makes him tall.

In the grade 7 class, Alex and some random extra are making fun of Melanie’s bra, and Alex pulls the back of the bra, causing Melanie to scream “OW!” loudly during class. Same, Melanie. Same. For some reason Wheels is in the grade 7 class, like the twins were in the first episode. After class, Joey makes fun of Melanie again, saying that he can’t wait to see her in her bathing suit. Melanie walks away, and Snake stares at her lovingly as she leaves. LD then runs after her. Melanie tells LD that she’s not going to swim in the race, and LD spends the rest of the day trying to convince her to swim. Melanie says that she’s not going to swim because she’s gonna get made fun of by the boys.

Snake goes to soccer practice since he’s on the team now. We see how bad he is at soccer. Later on Arthur and Yick spy on him some more.

The next day is the day of the race. Jason tells LD that he has a great team, because Snake joined the soccer team. LD is pissed off.

In the locker rooms, apparently Snake did not show up. The boys will have to race without him. And lose. Melanie also did not show up in the girls locker room. As Jason roams the halls looking for Snake, he comes across Melanie, who informs him that she will not be swimming. Jason is happier than a pig in shit. Outside, Melanie sees Snake and tells him the Jason is looking for him. Snake asks Melanie why she’s not swimming. She asks why he’s not swimming. They have a chat.

In the end, Snake convinces Melanie to swim. Joey makes fun of Melanie, so LD pushes him into the pool. HA!

The girls end up winning. thanks to Melanie. The end.

Broomhead Count: 0. Disappointing.

Awesome Character: Idk, Snake? He’s an honest man, sure.

Best Moment: Snake and Melanie’s convo. I ship them.

Final Thoughts: I really hate reviewing Arthur and Yick subplots. I skipped an Arthur/Yick scene somewhere in here about them stretching themselves or something stupid. #sorrynotsorry.

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E04: The Cover-Up

In this episode, we’re introduced to another character, Rick. Rick is just sitting at the table, eating his breakfast, reading a manly magazine, minding his own business, when his nutjob-looking father asks him where he got the magazine from, and asks Rick if “Frank” had given it to him. Who’s Frank? I’m sure we’ll find out later. Anyway, Rick says that he bought it himself, and his dad is all, “WITH WHAT MONEY, PUNK? I BET YA STOLE IT, DIDN’T YA?” Rick says that he took back some bottles, and bought it with that money. His dad gets mad, because I guess alcohol is just that important to him. Rick’s father then hits him. Well that escalated quickly...

                                  All that trouble over a magazine...

Over at school, Joey falls off his skateboard because he’s being stupid. Raditch lectures him. Meanwhile, Caitlin and Susie swoon over how hot they think Rick is.

After Joey gets the wounds from his skateboard accident checked out, Joey flirts with Doris, the secretary, before going to see the principal. Apparently this is normal for him. Doris then announces to the whole school that photo day is coming up. Meanwhile, Stephanie is in the bathroom, changing as usual. Voula comes out of the stall, and Stephanie apologizes again for what happened between them during the election. Voula is still pissed, so she acts petty. Voula then asks Stephanie if she’s going to dress sexily for photo day, and Stephanie says yes. Voula then says,” I bet your mom is going to love seeing those pictures. Or doesn’t she know about your new image?” then she walks away. SAVAGE. Stephanie is left there to think about what Voula said.

Back in the grade 7 class, Caitlin and Susie stare at Rick some more. Caitlin says that Rick always looks sad. Susie says that maybe it’s because he failed and all his friends are in grade 8, while he had to stay in grade 7. Caitlin says that she doesn’t think he has any friends. Wow. What a nice thing to assume about somebody, Caitlin. I mean, I’m told by people that I always look sad, but I still have friends. Maybe he has a resting depressed face. Like how some people have resting bitch face, but Rick looks sad instead of bitchy. Caitlin then comes up with the brilliant idea for them to help make Rick smile. Okay, Caitlin. Good luck with that.

Joey quickly skates home to find his mother stitching up his jean jacket, because it’s messed up. Get this: Joey is MAD at his mom for fixing his jacket and cleaning up his room. Wtf is wrong with this kid? Joey says he can’t wear his jacket now, because it has to be “broken in”, or else he’ll look like a broomhead. Joey claims that this is child abuse. His parents roll their eyes.

The next day at school, Jory complains to Tim about the jacket situation and his “abuse”. Rick happens to be right there, and he’s listening. Rick says that he has a used jacket that he can sell to Joey for photo day. Joey says that he’ll have to see the jacket first, so Rick says that Joey can come to his place after school to see it. Wow. Rick’s got tan-lines.

Later on in the day, Caitlin and Susie carry out their “make Rick smile” plan. They try to tell Rick a joke, but it’s hilariously unfunny and Rick walks away. Lame.

In the grade 8 class, Stephanie asks Voula for advice. Voula refuses, because she’s still pissy. Stephanie tells oula that she wants to be best friends again. Voula doesn’t say anything, but turns to listen to Stephanie. Stephanie can’t decide whether to wear her hot school clothes to picture day or her boring regular clothes. Voula replies with, “that’s your problem”. SAVAGE.

After school, Joey goes with Rick to his place to look at the jacket. At Rick’s house, Rick and Joey chill out and drink coke. I, too, am drinking coke. Yum, yum. Here we learn that Frank is Rick’s brother, and that he drives a motorcycle. Cool. Frank no longer lives with Rick and his dad though. He moved out. Just then, Rick’s father walks into the house, complaining about his day. Rick’s father opens the fridge to see that there is nothing left to drink in there, because Rick gave the last coke to Joey. Rick makes Joey leave, and Rick’s father throws a hissy fit and starts being up Rick again. Poor Rick.

The next day at school is photo day, and Joey shows up rockin’ his new jacket. Stephanie shows up wearing her hot school clothes, and tells Voula that she has to be herself. Voula says that he would like to see Stephanie’s mom’s face when she sees the picture. SAVAGE.

As the grade 7s get their pictures taken, Melanie suddenly notices a zit. Alex insists that she doesn’t have a zit. Melanie insists she does. Melanie tries to hide the zit and looks stupid. Poor awkward Melanie. She’s so relatable. This scene is random AF though.

Rick refuses to smile in his picture. Afterwards, Rick demands $15 from Joey for the jacket. Uh oh. Joey only has $10. Joey promises to give Rick the rest after school. Joey then asks Rick if he would like to talk about what happened the night before. Rick tells Joey to mind his own business.

Caitlin and Susie try to make Rick smile again. He shakes his head and walks away. Wow. They look stupid.

Back in class, Joey gets sent to the principal’s office for talking in class. After his meeting with the principal, Joey asks Doris about what he should do if he knows someone who is getting abused. Doris asks if everything is alright at home. Joey says that everything’s fine, but Doris calls CPS anyway after Joey leaves.

After school Joey and Rick go to Joey’s house to get the $5 that Joey owes Rick for the jacket. When Joey gets home, there’s a guy from children’s aid there because of Doris. Damn, Doris. Naturally, the guy asks Joey about his black eye from his skateboard accident. Joey explains the accident. The guy asks Joey who he was telling Doris about. Rick, knowing that it was him, walks out of Joey’s house. The children’s aid guy follows Rick out, and offers to help Rick with his bike, since his chain broke. The guy starts talking to Rick about his dad. Rick is angry at first, but calms down after he realizes that he just wants to help.

The next day at school, Rick demands the money from Joey, and Joey gives it to him. Rick tells Joey that he’ll be staying with Frank for a while. Rick and Joey are friends now, and Caitlin and Susie are happier than pigs in shit because Rick is smiling.

Broomhead Count: 2

Awesome Character: Rick

Best Moment: Rick and Joey becoming friends

Final Thoughts: I love Rick

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E03: The Experiment

At the beginning of this episode, Arthur walks in bragging about his watch to Mr. Raditch. DJ Rompin’ Rockin’ Radtich responds, “Do I look like I care? No! kindly screw off you little dweeb, I gotta start class.” Class starts, Arthur asks Yick about basketball tryouts, and it looks like they’re both trying out. Hmm... Arthur doesn’t strike me as a basketball kinda guy. Whatever. Anyway, Yick gets in trouble for talking, and Raditch calls him “Mr. Yu the Disorganized”. Yick gets offended. The end.

*Sigh* We’re back after the theme song for more Arthur-ness. Arthur goes by Stephanie’s locker to get his basketball-playing shoes that he left at his mom’s house over the weekend.Stephanie replies,” Hey! Dweeb! I don’t talk to grade 7s! Screw off, wait till Saturday to get your smelly-ass shoes!” Arthur tells her that he needs them for basketball tryouts. Stephanie laughs in his face, but still gives him the shoes because she doesn’t want his shoes stinking up her locker anymore.

Out in the hall, we meet two new characters! Melanie and Kathleen. They’re also in grade 7, and they’re talking about how junior high is a lot different than they thought it would be. Kathleen says that there’s too much homework. Melanie says that she thought there would be more parties. And DRUGS. Kathleen asks Melanie if she’d really try drugs, and Melanie replies, “Oh hell yeah! I smoke weed everyday!”

Back at basketball tryouts, Arthur sucks. Everyone else that’s trying out laughs at him. That’s how bad he is. Shane makes fun of him for being a nerd. Yick is good at basketball, though, especially for such a small guy. After tryouts, Arthur acknowledges his suckiness, and asks Yick for help. Yick agrees to help because that’s what BFFLs do! YAY FOR FRIENDSHIP. -.- Anyway, Yick helps Arthur, but Arthur still sucks. Y’know, cuz he’s Arthur. Later in the day, Yick complains to Arthur about how Mr. Rad-bitch is always picking on him. He says that Raditch doesn’t even read his stuff, and that he could hand in Einstein’s paper and still get a D. Arthur suggests an experiment: to hand in one of Stephanie’s old papers and see what grade Yick gets on it. Yick agrees.

Back with Melanie and Kathleen, they’re still talking about doing drugs. Melanie says she would like to try them, but doesn’t want to get hooked, Joey, who is seated in front of them overhears. He turns around and introduces himself as “Joey F. Jeremiah esquire, F for pharmacy”. Um... “Pharmacy” is spelled with  “ph” at the beginning, not “f”. I guess that’s why Joey had to repeat grade 8 though. Anyway, Joey is apparently a drug dealer now, so he offers the girls some “New Zealand Zappers”. Melanie agrees, and Joey says that he’ll see what he can do. That’s it for that scene.

Over in Arthur-topia, he asks Stephanie for one of her old papers. She gives it to him, and he drops it off at Yick’s house. Yick then goes up to his room and copies the paper down in his own handwriting.

Back at school the next day, Melanie and Kathleen meet Joey by the stairs to make their deal. Joey makes them pay 5 bucks each for the pills. The girls are a bit hesitant to take them, so Joey demonstrates for them. They both decide to take the pills and start acting stoned. They even walk into class laughing. Like, a lot. BUT- get this. Joey gave them vitamin pills instead of actual drugs! What a good man, Joey! Saving them from taking actual drugs.

In class, Yick turns in “his” paper early. Mr. Raditch is impressed. Yick gets an A- on the paper. But Stephanie only got a B+ when she turned in it the year before. There must be a scientific explanation for this! Yick thinks its because Raditch was so impressed that he could not be totally stupid for once that he gave him a higher grade. Yick tells Arthur to keep getting him Stephanie’s papers. Arthur says no, because that would be cheating. Yick tells Arthur that since he helped Arthur with basketball, Arthur has to help Yick too. Arthur agrees, and gets another one of Stephanie’s papers for him.

Over in the Melanie/Kathleen subplot, Kathleen and Melanie want more “drugs” from Joey. And this time they brought friends. The next day, they all meet Joey by the stairs again to get more “drugs”.

In class, Raditch hands back the papers. He tells Yick that he was impressed with his paper, but not as impressed as he was last year, when he first read it. He asks Yick how he got Stephanie’s paper. Arthur tells Mr. Raditch that he gave him the paper. Yick then tells Raditch that it was his fault he cheated, for always giving him bad marks. No, Yick, it’s your fault. Take some damn responsibility. You got those bad marks for a damn reason. Mr. Mad Bitch then punishes them with detention. Damn straight sir!

Over at some restaurant, Stephanie urgently needs to talk to Joey. She heard that he’s been selling drugs, and Stephanie does not like that. Joey tells Stephanie that the “drugs” he’s been selling are actually vitamin pills. Uh oh. Melanie and Kathleen are at the table in front of them, and overhear this. They are not happy.

Meanwhile in detention, things are not going well for Yick. He’s procrastinating writing his essay. When Raditch steps out of the room, Arthur whines to Yick about having detention. Yick blames it on Raditch, because all of his problems are Mr. Bad Bitch’s fault. Arthur, being reasonable, says, “We did cheat.” Yick is all, “It was just an experiment bruh! I ain’t writing this paper!” Arthur tells him to shut the hell up and do his work. Yick gets mad at this, saying that he’s not going to help Arthur with basketball anymore and that he sucks at it. Arthur tells Yick that at least he’s trying, unlike Mr. Yu the Disorganized who doesn’t even try to do his work and blames all his problems on the teacher. After this, Yick starts writing his paper, because Arthur’s motivational speech got to him.

After a while, Yick is finally done with his paper and hands it in to Raditch, then leaves. Yeah.

The next day, all the kids Joey sold vitamins to surround him at his locker. Oooh. Intimidating. Joey’s all, “It’s just a joke bruh,” and Melanie laughs sarcastically, and then everyone demands their money back. Joey doesn’t have the money, so the kids chase him.

In class, Mr. Raditch reads Yick’s paper out loud, called Stereotypes. Okay. Good for you, Yick. Raditch talks to Yick after class, and they agree to start on a clean slate. Yick is happier than a pig in shit. Yick and Arthur decide to practice basketball. And then this happens:

The end.

Broomhead Count: 1

Awesome Character Award: Arthur, because of his little speech to Yick, and because he’s probably not going to get another.

Best Moment: Joey selling the vitamin pills

Final Thoughts: I never was a big fan of this episode,mostly because it has an Arthur and Yick main plot, and those episodes are usually bad. It was annoying how Yick blamed all his problems on Mr. Raditch. The thing with Joey at the end was funny. Yeah. That’s all.

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E02: The Big Dance

This episode starts off at Voula’s house. I guess Voula is editor of the school newspaper, so her dad is reading it. Her dad turns the page and sees an advertisement for the dance, and Voula asks if she can go. Her father tells her that she is too young and he doesn’t want her dancing with the horny boys at school. Voula is upset.

At school, Voula is socializing with the twins, Heather and Erica, when Stephanie comes over to greet her. Voula is still pissed about what happened last episode, so she says some sarcastic things to Steph, and walks away still pissed. Yeah. Stephanie goes into the bathroom to change like she does every morning. Lucy is there too and asks Stephanie why she doesn’t just get dressed at home. Stephanie says that her parents would ground her, and Lucy says that parents are too strict. Lucy’s parents let her do whatever she wants. Stephanie asks Lucy if she’s ever asked a boy out. Lucy says she has lots of times. Stephanie asks, “they don’t laugh at you?” Lucy responds, “Of course not. This is the 80s.” Well, c’mon, who wouldn’t want to date Lucy? She’s awesome. It’s obvious that Stephanie would like to ask a boy to the dance. But who?

Next we cut to Joey talking to Wheels. Joey asks Wheels if he’s going to the dance. Joey then brags to Wheels about how he’s going to the dance with Stephanie. Joey must be the guy Stephanie asked! As Joey is bragging, Stephanie is in the background, making flirty faces at Wheels. Wheels smiles back.

Stephanie walks into the classroom with the twins. Wait, hold up. Last episode the twins were in the grade 7 class. I guess Erica transferred into the grade 8 class to be with Heather, leaving their triplet Stacy all alone. Poor Stacy. Anyway, Stephanie talks to the twins about how sexy Wheels is. Uh oh. Joey likes Stephanie. But Stephanie likes Wheels. It seems Wheels also likes Stephanie. It seems as if Joey lied about Stephanie asking him. Or that Joey is so delusional here that he just assumed Stephanie was going with him.

Back at the lockers with Wheels and Joey, Joey tells Wheels, “I haven’t asked her yet, but I will.” Yep. Joey was just assuming she would go with him. Too bad, Mr. Jeremiah. It seems as if Stephanie plans to ask Wheels.

Joey walks into the classroom and starts flirting with Stephanie, which causes her and the twins to roll their eyes. As Wheels walks in, Joey keeps on rambling while Wheels and Stephanie make more flirty faces at each other.

When class starts, Voula has an announcement to make. Apparently the school is sponsoring a foster child, and they need ideas on how to raise money. Lucy suggests that they charge people to get into the dance, and then the money they raise can go to the foster child. Everyone is on board with the idea.

After school, Lucy is talking to Voula about how she should be the one presenting the money to the foster child at the dance instead of “a broomhead like Stephanie”, since the foster child was Voula’s idea. Voula tells Lucy that she can’t because she isn’t allowed to go to the dance. Lucy tells Voula about how her parents let her do whatever she wants.Voula says that her parents are old-fashioned because they come from a small village. Lucy tells her to ask her parents again, since the dance is now for a good cause. Lucy puts on lipstick, and Voula asks if she can try some.

Back at Voula’s house, her father notices the lipstick and makes her take it off. This frustrates Voula. Voula then tells her father that there’s a meeting for the foster child at school on Saturday evening, and asks if she can go. Her father says yes, but to be home by 9:30. Voula created a lie to go to the dance! Awesome!

Back at school the next day, Stephanie is doing her hair, and rehearsing how she’s gonna ask Wheels to the dance, but then she hears the toilet flush. HA! Embarrassing. It turns out that Nancy was the one in the stall. Eh. Who cares.

Out in the hall, Joey is telling Wheels about how he’s going to ask Stephanie to the dance. Stephanie then walks by, and Joey is about to make his move. Wheels, being the good man he is, starts to walk away to give them some privacy. Stephanie then asks Joey if she can talk to Wheels alone, and Joey says, “sure, I’ll go polish my nails or something.” Anyway, Stephanie asks Wheels to the dance, Wheels says yes, and Stephanie squeals in excitement. Or maybe the sex master that is Wheels made her wet. I don’t know.

Next are just a few shots of everyone getting ready. I don’t feel like explaining it.

Voula, Stephanie, and the twins all arrive at Lucy’s house to get changed for the dance, because Lucy’s parents let her do whatever she wants. Voula leaves for the dance when Stephanie arrives. Still a lot of tension between the two.

Voula arrives at the dance, and is really excited since this is her first ever dance.

                                       DJ Rompin’ Rockin’ Raditch

Back at Lucy’s house, the twins are complaining about parents, blah blah blah. One of them sees all the bottles of Lucy’s parent’s alcohol just sitting out on a counter. Lucy says that they can drink if the want, her parents are loose. I guess that’s why they named her Lucy. Get it? LOOSE-y? ... I’ll see myself out...

Anyway, Stephanie comes downstairs wearing a sexy outfit, the girls all cheer, and the twins ask her if she wants to drink. Steph is hesitant at first, but still drinks anyway. Lucy sits around and watches.

Wheels is at the dance waiting for Stephanie. Joey comes by and makes fun of the aftershave he’s wearing. Joey then laughs at Wheels because he thinks Stephanie stood him up. Don’t listen to him, Wheels. He’s just jealous that he isn’t as manly as you are.

Back at Lucy’s house the twins and Stephanie continue to get drunk. That’s all for that scene.

Meanwhile at the dance, Arthur asks Voula to dance, and they dance together. Interesting... We also see Caitlin dancing with Joey. Awww! The start of Joey and Caitlin! Cajoey! Coey? Cailoey? I don’t know. Wheels is still waiting for his drunken lady Stephanie to arrive. Poor Wheels.

Outside, Stephanie and the twins are drunkenly singing and dancing their way to the dance while Lucy tries to control the madness. Poor Lucy.

Anyway, the girls walk into the dance and Wheels and Stephanie immediately start dancing. Stephanie tells Wheels that he is sexy. As Stephanie is dancing during the crazy dance, the alcohol is starting to catch up to her. She runs to the bathroom to throw up. Stephanie is sick and humiliated. She can’t present the money to the foster child now, so Lucy runs to Voula to get her to save the day! Unfortunately, Voula has to get home so her strict father doesn’t find out that she was actually at the dance.

Uh oh. Voula’s father pulled up in his car. This is not good.

Lucy and the girls finally convince Voula to do the presentation.

Oh noes! Now Voula’s father is inside the dance! That’s actually pretty creepy though. I mean, a random grown up that’s not a teacher inside a school dance for middle schoolers can seem kind of suspicious.

As Voula starts to make her speech, her father inches closer and closer to the stage. She starts to get nervous when she sees that her father is there. As soon as she finishes her speech, her father pulls her away and they leave.

Stephanie is still sick in the bathroom.

Voula and her father argue, and Voula actually makes some good points. She apologizes for lying, and Stephanie is still sick and embarrassed. The end.

Broomhead Count: 1

Awesome Character Award: Voula

Best Moment: Stephanie’s drunk dancing

Final Thoughts: I like how Voula stood up to her father. At the very beginning of last episode, she seemed like a character that would just let everybody walk all over her. Now she doesn’t take shit from anybody. Good for her! Also, I know this is minor and nit-picky, but what was up with the twins? Heather was not acting like Heather. Heather would not have drank that alcohol, or she would at least be hesitant about it. She was acting exactly like Erica. This was the beginning of the series though, so maybe the writers just didn’t have their personalities figured out yet. Or maybe is was their triplet, Stacy. Stacy, you wild one. I bet even your mom has got it goin’ on.

[abroomheadreviewsdjh]

S01E01: Kiss Me, Steph

In the opening scene, we see our bae Stephanie Kaye walking up to the school for her first day of grade 8. I remember my eighth grade. It was slightly less bad than seventh grade which was slightly less bad than sixth grade. To put it simply, middle school, or junior high, as they call it in this show, was utter crap. Oops, off topic. Anyway, Stephanie is walking peacefully to school, y’know, lalala sunshine and rainbows. Until her annoying little brother Arthur approaches and tries to talk to her. Stephanie shuts him down real quick, telling him that he’s a little grade 7 dweeb so she doesn’t want to talk to him while they’re at school.

                                  Here’s our bae, Stephanie Kaye.

Wow, did kids really dress like that in the 80s? Anyway, Stephanie walks off into the school, ready to become the queen of Degrassi Junior High!

After the theme song plays, Stephanie walks into the bathroom and reunites with her awesome friend Voula. They talk. “Grade 8! We’re so grown up!” “Arthur is a dweeb!” yadda yadda yadda. Then things start to get interesting. Stephanie takes off her clothes. It’s okay though, because she’s wearing different clothes underneath. Stephanie styles her clothes in a way that make them more revealing. When Voula asks her what she’s doing she says, “This is grade 8, right? We’re supposed to be more mature, so I’m gonna start dressing more mature”.

Meanwhile, in Arthur’s world, Arthur can’t find his class, so Joey Jeremiah offers to help him find it. Wow, Joey’s voice was so high here! It’s adorable.

Back in the girl’s bathroom, Stephanie is still putting on makeup and fixing her hair. You can tell Voula doesn’t exactly approve of Steph’s new look, and I don’t blame her. I mean, Stephanie can dress how she wants, but she’s like frickin’ 13! I don’t think it’s necessary for her to dress like this at such a young age, but whatever. The subject changes when an announcement is made about student council elections. Stephanie would like to run for student council president. Voula agrees that she should.

                               Our bae Stephanie Kaye’s new look.

Back over in ArthurTown, Joey locks Arthur in a janitor’s closest and calls him a broomhead, Yeah. Not much else to say. Next, Stephanie and Voula walk by and Joey gets turned on by the sight of our bae Miss Kaye.

I’m  only 6 minutes into the episode and this review is already too long, so I’m  just going to simplify stuff now, and try not to ramble so much. Starting now.

Joey tries to flirt with Stephanie in the classroom, since he now has a huge hard-on for her. Luckily for Steph, Joey is forced to stop when the bell rings and in walks their teacher, Mr. Raditch.

We now return to AuthurTown, and he is still locked in the closet. A young boy by the name of Yick Yu hears his screams and lets him out. They’re now best friends.

Arthur and Yick finally find their classroom. Yay for them. I noticed something about the grade 7 scene. The twins are there. Heather and Erica. They’re supposed to be in grade 8. When Ms. Avery takes roll, she calls the name “Stacy Farrel”. Wha....? Heather and Erica must have a triplet who got held back. Yeah. Next on the roll, Ms. Avery starts to say the name “Erica” but is interrupted by Arthur and Yick at the door. That’s so nice of Erica! taking a grade 7 class to support her triplet! Sister power! No Heather though. Heather decided she’s too smart to stay in a grade 7 class. After all, she is the goody-two-shoes one.

Back in the grade 8 class, Stephanie is bored with Raditch’s detailed explanation of their schedule, so she starts to yap away to Voula about how she would like to be president, but doesn’t know how to write speeches or make posters. Voula says that she will do all of that. Voula is Stephanie’s servant.

They then cut to a scene of Voula putting up posters for Stephanie. Then they show Stephanie reading over a speech written by Voula while Joey and Wheels stare creepily at Stephanie in the background. They look like they want to eat Stephanie. Joey tries to flirt with Stephanie through the art of whistling, and Voula gets pissed.

Time for another visit back to ArthurTown and YickVille. Yick is trapped in a closet and it is apparent that he had the pleasure of meeting the infamous Joey Jeremiah. Arthur helps Yick out of course, because that’s what BFFs do. Besties for the Resties!

Stephanie recites her speech outside while all the horny guys watch her intently. Snake goes on after her and rocks out on his guitar. Joey starts flirting with Steph again, but this time things get physical. Joey kisses her hand, then kisses all the way up her arm, and moves all the way up to the neck. Ew. If a guy did this to me I’d slap him. Wheels announces that he would also like to bang Stephanie. He tells her that he’ll vote for her if he gets a kiss. Stephanie accepts the offer and Wheels kisses her on the cheek. All the other guys in school decide that they would like to be in on that action too and all line to up kiss Stephanie. Voula stands there in shock.

Arthur and Yick seem to be planning something. They have walky talky’s. This is legit. Heather and Erica, or maybe it’s Stacy and Erica, I don’t know, catch Yick and laugh at him. While Arthur is starting his part of the plan, he sees something happening. What is happening, you ask? Well, Stephanie is inside the bathroom, as usual. Outside, however, is surrounded by a large group of boys who are chanting, “ALL THE WAY WITH STEPHANIE KAYE”! Who is in the middle of this you ask? JOEY JEREMIAH. Arthur pees his pants in fear. This plan is about Joey. Yick and Arthur are scared of Joey. They run away like the little pansies they are.

Inside the bathroom, Voula disapproves of the whole kissing thing Stephanie has going. Stephanie, quoting Joey, tells her, “It’s just politics. Give the people what they want”. Voula doesn’t like this response, but Stephanie makes Voula forgive her anyway, because Voula is Stephanie’s puppet. All the guys cheer when Stephanie comes out of the bathroom, looking hot as usual. None of the girls in school approve. They guys start talking about how they want to see Steph naked, and Stephanie visibly starts to get a little weirded out. Now Stephanie screws up. Instead of thanking Voula for all the work she’s done, she thanks Joey. Voula, being rightfully pissed, storms off, leaving Stephanie confused.

Eventually, the election results are announced, and Stephanie is the new president. Joey couldn’t be happier, but Voula is still understandably pissed.

This review is too long, so I’ll just BS the rest. Stephanie has to write a speech for the PTA meeting, Joey stuffs Arthur in a locker, Stephanie kind of defends him, blah blah blah.

Voula finally grows a backbone and tells Stephanie she doesn’t want to be friends anymore because of how Stephanie used her. Good for Voula! Glad she’s standing up for herself.

After school, Stephanie and Arthur have a bonding moment and Arthur offers to help write Stephanie’s speech. Awe. The end.

Broomhead count: 2

Awesome Character Award Goes To: Voula

Best Moment: “ALL THE WAY WITH STEPHANIE KAYE!”

Final thoughts: When I first watched this series, I wasn’t a big fan of Stephanie, but she’s starting to grow on me. She’s still not my favorite though. Voula and Lucy know where it’s at. Also I forgot how long the season one episodes are, so I’m sorry for the probably annoyingly long review and strange rambling. Hopefully the next reviews will be better.