why is everyone en masse deciding to vent their hatred for bi women at once like I’ve unfollowed 5 people this week who I thought didn’t have backwards dehumanizing views of them but turns out uh they did? and I feel really rattled by that and ashamed.
in the past 7 days I have seen all of the following from fairly respected leftist bloggers (+ one anon) coming out of the woodwork:
-saying bi women inevitably end up with men (this is totally great and encouraging and not at ALL going to foster depression, self loathing and hopelessness in bi women on here who are already hearing this narrative from heterosexual society and are doing their best to embrace / unrepress from / become comfortable with their attraction to women lmao)
-saying it’s bi women’s fault when they end up in abusive relationships with men because apparently they should’ve based all their relationship choices on cold calculated politics not (g-d forbid) ever a human feeling, and that bi women who’ve survived abuse from men are “the reason bi women are untrustworthy”
-saying that all of bi women’s relationships w/ men are somehow comfortable and socially embraced, while blatantly ignoring the fact that bi women are coerced into traumatizing relationships with men / experience violent homophobia (that uhhh might put them under pressure/in harms way & influence their relationships) just like we experience those things as lesbians
-talking out of both sides of their mouth saying things like “embrace lesbians who’ve been forced to date men / are just dating women for the first time” all day long but then also saying bi women who have dated men are traitors to LGBT whose attraction to women is damaged (seriously the type of language some you use often isn’t suitable for talking about human beings pls analyze that)
-saying that bi women’s attraction to men is “something they should control” and “a flaw” (see above note about language and dehumanization)
-saying that bi women’s love for and relationships with women are below the level of lesbians’ or “less whole and healthy” because they have been attracted to men before
-outright laughing at bi women when they try to point out that maybe a post joking about “lol bi women would totally support a bisexual pornhub category if that happened, how reactionary” is a little fucked up seeing as “bisexual porn” for the male gaze already exists and is already putting bi women in harm’s way and contributing to violence against them, and bi women are already speaking up against this - so to mock about how they would totally support and absolve that concept is a slap in the face especially to bi survivors of sexual violence.
-while we’re at it this whole concept and attitude that bi people are the most reactionary group and that bi-ness is inherently less radical reeks of the most reactionary strains of “radical” feminism and some of you are up to your knees in it (reread the above point about how it’s weird to center humor around how you think most bi women would automatically fall in line and support something that exploits them)
^ all of these I’ve seen/heard from people showing their true colors in the last week. what is going on with y’all?
this is what happens when you get so carried away with separatism and nursing your own wounds in unhealthy unproductive ways in an irrational echo chamber, that you start treating other women (who, while they have some different experiences, share a MULTITUDE of both positive experiences and experiences of oppression with you) like lower than human.
some of this came from bloggers who regularly advocate for abuse survivors and against violence against women too, so like wow isn’t that fresh and hypocritical seeing as half of the items on that list are abuse apologism and/or harsh disrespect to bi survivors.
bi friends have confessed to me that calling themselves bisexual makes them feel sick, and that they wish they were lesbians because they feel politically lacking - bi women I know including ones in relationships have other women have confessed unhealthy levels of self scrutiny and self hatred and the desire to give up and isolate themselves from LGBT spaces because of this type of rhetoric - we are letting bi women down while simultaneously telling them we need their ongoing solidarity. if you support any of this crap or consider it a good “way to center lesbians” or “protecting our own” (as if any of this does anything to help lesbians who are struggling, in danger, or vulnerable - it just wastes time and embitters you, wake up) feel free to leave I don’t want to interact with your toxic bullshit, it’s not helping me as your “lesbian sister” lmao u aren’t mine.
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