NUMBER 1 ROACH FAN

Hi im casz currently working on shitbox pt cruiser that is determined to be evil (He/they, big rockstar/cod/gfl/rain world/umamusume/silksong/warframe fan)

[catholic-femboys]

I keep trying to explain warframe stuff to my technically-baby tenno but I keep forgetting that this game is nonsensical so every plot point or piece of trivia sounds like I pulled it straight out of my ass

[hopepunk-priest]

Project Zomboid OCS are so funny cause they're always either like

1) This is Kit, he/they. He used to work as a chef but he hated his job, but now that the zombie apocalypse has freed them from their work, they're on a mission to collect and make all the recipes they can find. He has a family, extensive backstory, and explanation for every perk I gave them. He survived 2 days and died because he forgot to take glass out of their feet and bled to death.

2) This is Shitt Buttholio, she only wears underwear and the Spiffo suit head. She exclusively kills zombies with a rolling pin. Currently into January.

[knoxevent]

always read the patch notes

[cavvyiswriting]

I know, logically, that Project Zomboid's loot is randomized.

And yet I enjoy imagining what the lives of the zombified people I intrude on were like before July 9th, 1993.

A self-help book on divorce sits on a kitchen counter next to a carton of wine, unopened. Within the house is only one zombie, a woman with some wealth, judging by her jewelry and the large house surrounded by a farm with good acreage. The home was made for two. A large double bed dominates the master suite upstairs, two end tables with two matching lamps bracketing it. Two dressers are pushed against the wall beneath a large window perfectly situated to allow in the warming morning light. This home was made for two that expected a third. Next to the master suite is a smaller room, decorated well, but too neat to have been lived in yet. It's a nursery. Clothes and toys still tucked away in a large wardrobe that held within it the promise of years and a life to come. It's a nursery for no child. Its walls not decorated with crude and loving crayon drawings, but almost stark bare and eerily empty. From the nursery's window, I can see the driveway and garage, big enough for a family-oriented sedan to fit comfortably. And yet, no car sits there. Where an expecting couple would surely have owned a vehicle three miles from town.

I can't stop thinking about the zombified woman who wanted more out of life, and I can't stop wondering where her estranged spouse may have ended up. Were they the crashed sedan down the road? Or are they implied to be alive, human, still?

I'll never know, and that kind of haunts me.

Random chance loot tables have broken my heart and brought a tear to my eye by telling me a story they were never, ever designed with the intention of telling me here and now.

[vinegarss]

ummm guys do you think we have enough bullets and guns and bullets and magazines and bullets and crowbars and baseball bats and rakes and snow shovels and bullets and toilet plungers and guns

[3liza]

this guy in the comments on an interview with the new project zomboid developer is a genius

[hanrydd]

I won't forget

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m getting ads telling me to replace live porch flowers with plastic ones because the plastic ones don’t die and buddy I can tell you from personal experience that those flowers will fade until they look like they’ve achieved a new kind of death

[redstonedust]

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

[thehumantrampoline]

I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days

[nekomimidusteon]

wanting to show off and having AA cups is so humiliating like hey do you want to see the catgirl princess's nearly flat chest.

[nekomimidusteon]

wearing a low cut top and no bra so when she bends over she can show you a tantalizing glimpse of her nothing.

[byjove]

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[koiagain]

you like fanart of a character maybe Two times and suddenly ur tumblr page thinks u want to read them taking it up the ass

[what-even-is-thiss]

I still like the term parental unit that we used to use as a joke in middle school and high school. Did everyone else do that or was it just a my social circles thing?

Anyways telling the kids to go collect their parental units at the end of an event is a) funny b) gender neutral and c) just refers to the person currently doing your parenting

Also if you’re on joking terms with your parents “greetings, child” “greetings, parental unit” is a top tier greeting. Makes you sound like robot aliens.

[i-am-a-fish]

after much deliberation I have completed a simple task that took me less than 10 minutes, and I'm happy to report that this time it only cost me about 3 days of dread

[gyrovagi]

the problem with employment is it gives you money to purchase video games but it takes away your time to play video games. Mao spoke of this