How many of us make assumptions about people based on their appearances? Let's be honest here, we all do! It’s human nature. Now how many natural women will admit to giving relaxed/weaved women a side-eye simply because of how she is wearing her hair? How many relaxed women see a natural woman and think her hair is too nappy for her to be natural? Do you judge women based on hairstyles?
I've found that when people participate in the natural vs. relaxed debate, they usually take an either-or approach and firmly stick to it as if there are no other options. A. When women decide to accept their natural tresses and forever ditch the creamy crack, she is subtly (or blatantly) enrolling in the growing "natural army". B. When a woman opts for a more straight or relaxed look, she is selling-out and doesn't remember where she came from. C. When a woman wears a weave, she's trying to be something she is not.
What's forgotten is that it's *just hair* and should be treated as such. Relaxed women often don't know their natural texture, don't know how to care for it, and/or don't have the time to figure it out. Consequently, relaxers are their best option and as long as the style looks good, they have no problems. Natural sistas generally take the hair debate more seriously and have cultural, historical, and even economical references to support their decision to go natural. They've usually done research online or in real-life to know the consequences of going natural and are openly accepting of the challenge. Women who wear weaves can be either relaxed or natural underneath, so the weaves are typically used as an interim hairstyle while the hair grows out a certain color, cut, or to a particular length. The problem with weaves is that oftentimes, women don't know how to care for a weave nor their hair underneath and the cycle just ends disastrously.
I used the term 'natural army' because I've found that women who are natural usually feel as if our relaxed or weaved sistas are rejecting their culture and therefore hate themselves and/or their texture. And in my honest opinion, which is based off of my personal experiences, I've found this to be mostly true. Our young women lack positive role models and as a result have turned to the media, specifically magazines and tv, to emulate what they see to be beautiful. The problem is that, WE aren’t represented enough and they are missing out on the opportunity to accept being beautiful naturally. Thankfully more natural sistas are beginning to be represented in commercials and even print ads, but it’s still a long time coming. Nevertheless, that doesn't give anyone the right to "judge" or scorn someone based on her hairstyle. Of course there are women who use weave as a transitioning style and nothing more, but those aren't the women making the hair business a $14 billion dollar per year industry. We've all seen women in our local neighborhoods (especially urban or inner-city) who have the most raggedy, dirty, crummy looking weaves and know she would look so much better had she just rocked her own natural hair proudly. Why doesn't she?
The title of this blog is accepting natural because for me and for women I know, the transition to natural has been an entire lifestyle change. Going natural is about eating right, taking care of body, soul, and spirit, being proud to be black, and not being ashamed about our culture and our heritage. In the same token, it's also just a hairstyle because I would never bash another woman based on her choice of how she wears her own hair. I would not say I'm never going to wear another weave, because I probably will. I like the versatility and the change a weave can bring, not to mention giving the precious strands relief from daily manipulation. But I do know that I will never wear another weave that doesn't closely resemble the texture of my own hair, natural or relaxed. It's important for me to not perpetuate the 'angry, black woman' image so many people have of us, so as much as I am accepting of naturals, I am also accepting of my relaxed and weaved up sistas out there doing their thing. Bless.
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