>Nick: Quit procrastinating.
Who? You? Procrastinating? No way!
Fine.
You shuffle down the hall and down the stairs. SS is so going to PAY for that cruddy stone.
>Nick: Where’s Mom?
That’s weird. She usually wouldn’t leave without telling you. Maybe you should investigate.
>Nick: Go into the kitchen.
You go into the KITCHEN. There isn’t much to it, since your MOM typically orders delivery or just buy easy to make foods. COOKING isn’t one of your strong-suits.
>Nick: Open fridge.
There’s a bunch of FROZEN PIZZAS in there. Along with some MILK, FRUIT, and…
IS THAT?!
GRAPE JUICE?
>Nick: Captchalogue the divine drink
You don’t hesitate to captchalogue the GRAPE JUICE. Why would you hesitate?! Only CRAZY PEOPLE would hesitate. Good thing no one that you know is INSANE.
…Right?
>Nick: Notice what you just did.
You…You just captchalogued the GRAPE JUICE…
You don’t know how to use your FETCH MODUS…
>Nick: Cry.
C-crying? Who’s crying? Certainly not you…
You think you need to sit down for a bit.
>Nick: Do this.
You do. You sit for a while, wallowing in misery. Maybe you should try to figure out the code…? No, you’re not omniscient. You really hate Maya right now. Her and her stupid joke moduses and dinky stones.
…Speaking of the stone. You begin to wonder about your mother’s locks. She’d certainly seemed startled, hadn’t she, when you asked about babies. Your mom knows you already know that stuff, you’re in high school after all. So… why the bad reaction?
>Nick: Perhaps…
The notion of adoption suddenly springs to mind. You shoo it away. You are NOT adopted! Okay… you might not look like your mom. At all. But she’s always said that that’s because you look so much like your dad…
Who you’ve never seen any pictures of. And who your mother never mentions. Ever.
>Nick: Don’t freak out.
Haha, whaaaaat? You’re not freaking out, you’re totally not freaking out, you’re completely fine.
Oh god.
– aceArtisan [AA] began pestering spiritualSamurai [SS] at 16:32 –
AA: MAYA OH MY GOD
AA: are you still at dinner? you’re still at dinner.
AA: do you think that YA or RI will be up right now, i ask the empty void that has taken the place of my best friend.
AA: YA’s always busy and doesn’t RI live in germany?
AA: what time is it in germany??
AA: wait there’s like a nine hour difference right?
AA: its like one am there!!!
AA: im messaging YA
– aceArtisan [AA] began pestering youthfulAnalyst [YA] at 16:34 –
AA: EMA IM HAVING A CRISIS
AA: EMA???
YA: hello to you too, nick, happy birthday, how’s your day been?
AA: AWFUL
YA: thats great!
YA: now please stop typing in all capitals, you know its annoying
AA: BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOOO
YA: 1. seriously stop typing in all caps
YA: 2. tell me what’s wrong maybe???
AA: i think i might be adopted
YA: …
AA: this is serious!!!
AA: i asked my mom where babies come from and maya’s magic rock told me that she was like hiding something from me?? or lying or something but it wasnt just minor lying it was MAJOR lying because there were five locks and now that i think about it me and mom dont look alike and ive never even seen my dad so how do i even know if he’s real?????? what if he’s not and mom never had a baby and im adopted!!!
YA: i have so many questions
YA: but also a hypothesis
YA: the hypothesis is that you are stupid, nick
AA: stop making fun of me!
YA: okay, fine. but i need to ask some things!
AA: well then ask them!!!
YA: give me a sec, ill type them all up
AA: i know youre putting on your science goggles
AA: dont put on science goggles to discuss my parentage!
YA: shh
YA: 1. Why would you ask your mother where babies come from? You already know, and I know you already know.
2. What is this “magic rock” and are the events you are describing a direct effect of this rock’s powers? If so, please explain in a concise manner, with no embellishments.
3. Why are you only considering these things now?
4. Did you open my present yet?
AA: ugh…
AA: 1. maya told me to, and i was curious. she said it had to do with the rock
YA: of course.
AA: 2. maya calls it a magatama. it’s supposed to see into the hearts of people, and tell you when someone’s lying or hiding something. it’d probably be good for RI, actually, since he wants to be a lawyer. anyway, the magatama tells you that someone’s lying by creating locks? the bigger the amount of locks, the bigger the lie, i think.
AA: 3. maya brought it up…
AA: 4. no
YA: the magatama sounds interesting! aside from the stuff with your mom, have you tried it before?
YA: oh also, you definitely should open my present, and also stop listening to maya
AA: no, ive never tried it before… and yeah, i know
YA: i dont think youre adopted, nick
YA: its kind of silly, actually
YA: and even if you were, would it really be so bad?
AA: well, yeah
AA: it would mean my mom’s been lying to me for years!
YA: but if you were adopted, dont you think she’d tell you early on?
AA: what if my backstory is really tragic?
YA: ill have you know that i just laughed out loud
YA: youll be fine, you idiot
YA: now let me work, i was testing out luminol on the kitchen counter
AA: …i should have known
AA: hey, wait a second
AA: isnt luminol the blood stuff?
>Nick: Feel better.
…You love your friends.
>Nick: Go open that darn gift!