“Not a whit” end me
If my partner turned to me and he said I’m not sexually attracted to you you’re just good at making me cum I’d feel so used has the person who made this comic actually had this conversation with a person
This is what happens when you treat people as a means to an end and not humans who inherently have worth.
I wonder if these people understand that “i want to have sex with you” is, in fact, finding someone sexually attractive.
me so confused
You’re not having sex. You’re masturbating and someone is just there helping you.
I’d feel like a used sex toy if my partner said this to me ngl
I was caught up in this exact mindset and didn’t realise how downright demeaning it is to my partners. Now that I have a healthy detachment from the ace label I can truly see how gross the mentality is. I’d feel like shit if my boyfriend said he wasn’t attracted to me after we just did something as intimate as having sex.
Plus, it’s not woke or cute to say shit like that. Can you imagine the outcry if a sleazy straight guy said this to a woman? “I think you’re ugly as sin but I liked the sex lol”. Why is it suddenly okay when there’s a “oh no I’m ace uwu <3” stamp on it?
That’s… so disgusting. This is another reason why we should be pushing for “asexual” to just mean no attraction whatsoever. Because if you’re having sex with people, especially because you “like” them, that’s sexual attraction. If you didn’t like them or find them attractive you wouldn’t have sex with them, for the same reason a lesbian isn’t going to have sex with a man “because I like you and I thought you’d be good at it”.
If you think this is cute, or quirky, or not demeaning to your partner in any way… you should really rethink that, and think about how it would feel to know your partner was essentially just using you to get off. Do they find you attractive? “Not a whit”. Personally, that would crush me.
Yeah that “Not a Whit,” especially as represented by the person not even giving their partner the dignity of looking at them when dropping that doozy, really felt so unbelievably cold and uncaring.
The scrolling through their phone while their partner trying to have non-sexual intimacy after the fact is so fucking disgusting to me.
Like, fucking, Fine you don’t have sexual attraction, Fine. But this is fucking snuggles. this is fucking close, afterglow intimacy not related to sex.
Fuck… This is Relationship Understanding Talk Time. And this bitch is ON HER PHONE.
I’ve seen people personalize their vibrators more then this bitch is treating an actual human being.
Can’t say I agree with thespian, since asexuality is a spectrum in and of itself, but this is an awful comic.
okay but it’s literally not
if you experience sexual attraction? not asexual
there is a spectrum to how often you can experience something but there’s no spectrum of NOT experiencing something
This is completely false on every level. Gray Asexuality is a thing, look it up.
You think just because somebody wrote something online makes it a real thing?
If you experience sexual attraction you’re not asexual
Literally every person who’s ever felt sexual attraction experiences a different level of it, labels like “gray ace” are nonsensical because there’s no way to define a “standard” amount of sexual attraction
Unless you’re going to find the person who’s most often sexually attracted to anyone and then everyone else is gray ace I guess
How about you take your elitist, rambling nonsense posts, print them out, and shove them up your gatekeeping ass?
sorry man but i think your wrong here. asexual is lack of sexual desire. anything else is some variety of gay straight or bi.
do you think non asexual people are just constantly turned on?
back to the original point im not entirely sure how to feel about this. on one hand ses being a callus B.
however when you think about it. you admitting your asexual isnt a great dating opener. i can see that more as something that comes up later in the relationship. so like what would you do in that situation. just never have sex with your partner? they might break up or go for an open relationship but thats its own can of worms.
It seems like having sex with your partner could be one of those things that you just dont particularly like but it makes your partner happy so you just bear through. i dont see whats wrong with that.
that being said the lady enjoyed it so i dont think shes asexual.
Ok, look. I’m gonna try to be as civil as possible here, but a ton of people are being utter fuckwits about this and I am NOT in the mood for more of it. Asexuality is a spectrum.
You know how bisexuality is a spectrum, with some bisexuals having a preference for one sex or the other? That doesn’t make them straight or gay though, because there is still some attraction to the other sex.
With asexuality, it is the opposite. Some people are generally not sexually attracted to people, but can feel some degree of attraction towards one or both sexes. The difference between these people and non-asexuals is that there is not enough sexual attraction to make actually having sex appealing IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. It’s not about whether you get horny, even people with no sexual attraction get horny, they just masturbate.
Asexuality is when there is no instinctive desire to have sex. No desire to seek it out. Some may be willing to have sex for their romantic partners, as they aren’t sex repulsed, but they don’t really need to to have a fulfilling relationship. Often, even if one is not sex repulsed, even if one is gray ace (what I am describing), sex is of no importance to them and may indeed be detrimental to a relationship.
I myself am gray ace (hence why your statement irritates me, I very much dislike my very identity being dismissed as a fiction). I do feel some degree of sexual attraction, but not only do I have no desire to ever have sex, the idea of actually having sex with someone revolts me and makes me uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure if I were straight, the mental image of me having sex wouldn’t make me absolutely sick to my stomach. It’s entirely possible to exist on the asexual spectrum without being at the absolute center of it.
ok i think i get what your saying. i have acouple questions
1. where is the line between asexuality and just having low sex drive then
2. how does having a sex drive and being sex repulsed work in your experience?
Asexuality has nothing to do with sex drive. How horny one gets is not connected to one’s orientation, just what they get arroused by. True, people without sexual attraction probably won’t get horny from seeing attractive people in erotic situations, but the orgasm is still a pleasurable experience and there’s still the occasional drive to achieve one.
For me, sex repulsion is somewhat situational. Keep in mind sex repulsion isn’t (I don’t think) limited to ace people. A straight guy may be repulsed by gay sex between men, for example. That’s sex repulsion. Some straight men are otherwise unbothered by gay sex, but unaroused by it. In my case I am repulsed by that, and usually by sexual content/situations in general. There are times when that seems to lessen, and I can find such things appealing, in concept at least. Generally I am repulsed by sexual content unless I am in the mood to seek it out, and seeing it without seeking it out causes some degree of discomfort. It’s why I’m so vocal about the need to separate sexual content from other stories on sites like AO3 and about the over abundance of sex scenes in shows that don’t need them (especially since I like some romance stories, but live in constant fear of a sex scene because most writers assume we want to see that part of the relationship). Unless I am actually looking for something like that, I become noticeably stressed and uneasy when I am exposed to it.
Does AO3 not do a good enough job in keeping sexual things tagged? Usually somebody can’t wait to show the world their smut and describe what’s in it to get maximum hits.
As a pretty sex repulsed ace spec person, I can’t recall that I’ve even gone into an AO3 story and been surprised by it containing nsfw…
Once clicked on a story that had “cum inflation” in the tags but I didn’t notice it because I had filtered sexual content and explicit ratings and didn’t think I needed to check the tags for stuff like that. It hadn’t occurred to me that someone would tag something with a kink but not sexual content and then rate it as mature instead of explicit. I didn’t filter out mature because I’m perfectly comfortable with violence in fiction and tend to watch violent stuff a lot.
I understand some people will say I should have been more conscious but not only was I new to fan fiction but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the filter to filter out stuff like that. And, tbh, sometimes seeing a list of sex acts in the tags of a fic and the characters the acts will be applied to gives more than enough of a mental image to make me uncomfortable. I feel like the system should have some degree of enforcement of its rules for tagging and ratings, and to get rid of that option to not use warnings.
Honestly I think it makes more sense to keep the smut on a site specifically for smut. There’s already an adultfiction.net. Separating porn from other stuff totally is a pretty common sense thing to do. I get that AO3 was meant to be as unrestrictive as possible but there are limits to that kind of thing, especially since they allow some things that probably shouldn’t be allowed at all like smut of underaged characters (which is, despite many claims otherwise, legally dubious at best under American law). They even said they wouldn’t take down smut of real life minors, which is illegal.
Ah, I see what you mean. Have you contacted the staff about it? Or tried to gather like minded people? Even some allos have strong enough squicks or repulsion (or triggers!) that they might be invested in brainstorming some ways to get stricter filters in place.
I gotta side with ao3 on everything else though. All that stuff is gonna exist somewhere and booting it off one platform is not gonna get rid of it in general. People are gonna be sleezes.
Why don’t you just stay on FFN, since they have banned that sort of thing wholesale?
