Let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist for a certain series or upcoming oneshot. I'll always keep them open <3
Disclaimer: I mostly write yanderes and I like to dwelve into dark themes sometimes. I will not write explicit rape, underage, incest etc. Do not interact if any of these things bother you.
Series
Credit to the amazing @uzmacchiato for the dividers
Insatiable - 🔞
Honestly it was on you to think that they all would leave you alone. That you could enjoy your second chance in life without them by your side. You're not going anywhere.
Synopsis: Six different timelines. In each one you find yourself taking over the life of an extra in the game you had been so smitten with. In each life you’re different, whether it’s a different job, or where you live and even your personality. But only one thing remains constant, you’re determined to avoid them. You’re not in the body of the MC so it’s not like they’ll even notice. Right?
You really shouldn’t have underestimated them.
Alternatively:
MC: Best friends should always stay together. Whether you want to or not.
Caleb: Your ex decides you're getting back together. Your consent is not needed!
Zayne: Local handsome doctor man will keep you chained up!
Sylus: Father of twins takes their crush for himself!
Xavier: Alien boy likes his supervisors head pats way too much!
Rafayel: Actual siren lures in singer nicknamed Siren!
???: You find yourself waking up in a world you never cared for. Run.
Euphoria - being written!🔞
Caleb x non!mc reader
He has no idea why you've caught his attention, so he watches you to determine the answer. It doesn't help. He falls further and further until he's so tangled in your web, nothing else matters.
He shouldn't like feeling this way as much as he does.
Flip the script - being written! 🔞
Caleb x non!mc x Zayne
You're childhood friends. They both like the same person, someone who's not you. You like the both of them. So, then why is it when you're ready to let go - they're both holding on tighter than you thought possible?
Salvage - 🔞
Sylus x non!mc reader
To save from destruction, damage or ruin.
In other words, please let him fix it.
Prologue | Chapter 1
Flip the script - being written! 🔞
Caleb x non!mc x Zayne
You're childhood friends. They both like the same person, someone who's not you. You like the both of them. So, then why is it when you're ready to let go - they're both holding on tighter than you thought possible?
Oneshots
Original characters:
Serial Killer - being written! 🔞
Only you could seduce a monster hellbent on adding you to his long list of victims. Now, he's never letting you go.
“You never said she would get hurt,” Luke says in a sombre tone as Sylus steps into the room. It’s the room right next to his, made into a makeshift hospital room for the special occasion. Sylus sees you resting on the bed, knocked out by drugs. Kieran is sitting by the edge of the bed, not even looking up from your figure while Luke paces around the room. Both of them in a state Sylus had yet to see.
“Somethings are out of even my control,” he simply answers, “besides you had no problem with this plan before.” He walks in standing at the toe of your bed, examining your figure. He sees it now, the bruises on your face, the broken leg hung up and inside him fury blazes. It’s all directed at the man who did this you, it’s directed at himself.
Luke looks away in what Sylus is sure is shame under his mask because they all know the truth. They can all spend the entire night blaming each other and it wouldn’t change a thing. That all of them were the reason you were in this condition.
“It’s better this way. It’ll make her more dependent.”
On us.
Neither twin says a thing. Selfish to the end they all are. Perhaps that may be why they came into each others life. Birds of a feather flock together after all.
Sylus sees it now. He’d rather have you broken and shattered then not have you at all.
You poor thing.
AN: I'm back!!! Thank you so much for being patient while I got my shit together (actually shit is not together, it has become an even bigger pile of shit but I'm ignoring it). Forgive me for not uploading the entire thing because I'm only 7K words into Sylus's one shot and I'm still not halfway done!
Will I finish the fic or will it finish me?
Also why did none of you tell me it was sneak peek and not sneak peak. I have been lied to!
Sorry this isn't the update you were looking for, but I'm going on hiatus until November. The last few months I was in another country without my laptop and with limited Wi-Fi so I couldn't update my work and now I have exams coming up so I don't have any free time.
AN: Hello, it's time for my annual post where I show you a snippet of what I'm working on to show that I haven't abandoned it and then I give you reasons as to why it's not out yet so here I go.
Your girl has huge writer's block lol
I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm struggling making his story dark! He's such a green flag wrapped in red flag stereotypes that any scenario I come up with, I'm going "Sylus would never". But like that's the whole point of Miseria, all of them are severely out of character (what I have planned for Xavier shocked me also). Anyways, I changed my mind on the role reader would play in Sylus's version, we're going the marriage of convenience route!! Also just letting you know, the alternative synopsis for this is "Father of twins takes their crush for himself" and it's an overexaggeration. The twins just have an innocent infatuation with you, like most kids do, you know? It's literally like in two sentences and then it quickly changes into them seeing you as a mother figure. Felt like I should explain in case someone got the wrong idea. Kinda debating whether to make them plationic yanderes, where they help Sylus keep you.
Hope you enjoy the peak!
Someone’s in your house.
Through the dark, you can make out a familiar silhouette sitting on your couch. You flick the light on and end up completely right on who this person is.
“The twins won’t shut up about you,” he’s flipping a coin between his fingers, all his attention is on his hand but you know he’s still aware of every singular movement you make. With one leg draped over the other, dressed up in a suit, Sylus looks so out of place in your tiny apartment. “I was curious as to who exactly had their devotion,” he finally meets your gaze. You freeze at the icy red eyes, every nerve in your body is telling you to run. Before you is a dangerous predator and you’re not even worthy of being prey. “But you’re nothing special. How boring,” he spits out.
He doesn’t say it but you can tell. He’s debating whether it would be better for the twins if you stayed dead or alive. With a gulp, you grip onto your side as a way to ground yourself. You can’t do anything if he decides to take the unsavoury route. If you’re lucky you might make it two steps before he does you in.
“Take your shoes off.”
He raises an eyebrow. “What,” he responds slowly, drawing the word out, giving you a chance to explain yourself.
You point at the floor. “You tracked mud in and now you’re stepping on my carpet. Have you no manners?”
It’s silent for a while, his eyes narrow and the slight smirk on his face drops. You can feel yourself getting sweaty but you’re not giving up. There’s no way you’re going to die begging for your life, not even to him.
Time seems to slow as he gets up and makes himself over to you. He’s not that much taller but his aura makes it seem otherwise as he towers over you. “Do you know how easy it would be for to kill you here?” he asks, bending down until you’re face to face. You nod. “I’m fully aware of who you are, Sylus. And what you’re capable of.”
His eyes seem to darken when you say his name before they lighten into amusement. His hand comes up and brushes a stray hair away from your face. “And yet you still anger me?” he whispers.
“I’m not giving up my values to make you comfortable,” you smack the hand away before slipping out from his hold and walking over to your coffee machine. “I’ve had a horrible day at work and would like to drink my shitty coffee in peace so unless you’d like to join me, decide whether you’re leaving with a higher kill count or not. I don’t have the energy to play your games.”
Your hands shake as you pour yourself a cup. You don’t want to die. The twins will miss you too much if you’re gone. You promised them you would never leave without saying a goodbye. A light chuckle breaks the tension in the air, it causes you to raise your shoulders in alarm. You still don’t look back, not even as a body presses up against you, one arm coming around to steal the cup from your hands. He still doesn’t move away.
“Congrats,” his breath hits your ears, causing you to shiver. “You get to live another day.”
Then he’s gone.
Fucker stole my cup.
The next you wake up to said cup resting on your counter. It’s when you step on unfamiliar soft texture that you realise your carpet has been changed too.
Synopsis: You reunite with the woman who has you so deeply engraved into her heart.
WC: 3K
Masterlist
Are you real? She wonders.
If not…
...then what a cruel trick.
~~~
For a second no one speaks.
Sylus lingers for a little bit before walking by you, leaving you two alone. His hand lightly brushes yours in comfort, it helps.
You’re both grateful for having this moment be just between you two but the hammering in your heart wishes he would stay, so you wouldn’t be alone as she stares at you in a mixture of awe and confusion.
She’s grown a little taller, something to be expected after all these years but you still tower over her. The memories of all the times you used to tease her about it nearly make you smile. No longer does she sport the long fringed hairstyle, now it’s cut off at her shoulders, oddly reminding you of the way you used to have it styled in your shared childhood. She’s dyed it red. It suits her.
Red means passion.
But it can also be for danger.
She fits into the hunter uniform better than your imagination had served you. The white shirt fits so snug, you can just see a hint of the muscles underneath. It’s intoxicating.
But it’s clear she hasn’t been taking care of herself. Deep eye bags have settled under her eyes, which flicker constantly in exhaustion. You don’t blame her, not after she’s lost two of the most important people in her life at the same time. Not after losing you.
Her eyes give nothing away as they take in every inch of you. You feel your breath catching in your throat as she does so.
Do you look okay?
Will she be disappointed?
You’re no longer the girl who used to smile easily, who gave care out like it was nothing, who expected nothing in return.
But you can be for her. You’ll be anyone for her.
You’ll do anything.
For her, sacrifice means nothing.
Time seems to slow down with each step she takes toward you, drawing the moment out leaving you on edge. And so fucking nervous.
Your heart might give out when a hand comes up to cradle your face – not in affection but to touch and feel if the skin beneath is real.
“I-is this some type of trick,” she whispers finally, eyes glossed in tears. You violently shake your head in response. For the first time, anger courses through you for your situation. You curse the people who took you, who so effortlessly captured your ability to speak. No longer are you numb to the pain they afflicted upon you, not when you can’t tell her so.
All you can do is hold her in your arms as she collapses into tears. Whether from the overwhelming incident currently occurring or because her exhaustion has finally caught up, you don’t care. Not as you cradle her soft body against yours.
[Name], she whispers into your skin. Repeating it over and over again.
It’s easy to carry Mara out of the room, she feels too small in them, too skinny from lack of eating. You’ll have to remedy that during her stay here, she’s lived without yours and Caleb’s food for too long.
Sylus greets you as you exit, one eyebrow raising in controlled surprise. “Take her into your room,” he softly commands.
Mara wakes up in soft sheets with a killer headache.
Her hand comes up to rub the throbbing her temple, smiling softly as she recalls her dream. At least in this one, she got to see how you would look grown up. At least in this one, it wasn’t your young self asking why she had failed you.
None of her fantasies compared to what she dreamt of last night. The length of your hair, the shape of your body, how you had felt so real – how you had wrapped your arms around her. Years of loneliness had disappeared in that moment, for a while you were by her side and all was alright with the world.
For a while.
But her actions halt as she realises she’s in an unfamiliar room, leaping to her feet as she recalls her meeting with the boss of Onychinus. The very man who might be responsible for the deaths of…
For the deaths of…
Perhaps one day, she’ll be able to think or say it outright.
A knock on the door snaps her out of it. She doesn’t respond, mentally preparing for whoever steps through the door when she hears the doorknob turn. In steps…
You.
You’re carrying a tray of food, smiling when you notice she’s awake. Not caring as her jaw drops open, or that she’s in the corner of the room with her hands rolled into fists ready to strike whoever walks through.
Not you, though. Never you.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she lets out, causing you to smile. She remains frozen, unsure of what to do. Taking one hand off the tray, you guide her back to your bed. Too caught up in the warmth of your hand on her, she follows you without question. Mara already shows signs of improvement on her face from the sleep she had, to your relief.
When you try to remove your hand, so you can put the tray down gently on the nightstand, she pulls you right back on top of her. The food goes flying and lands with a loud shatter on the floor but you’re too distracted as you end up straddling her to care. Her hands come up to rest on your hips, like it’s natural, like it’s meant to be.
Mara wastes no time in exploring your body, hands moving across every inch like an explorer in an unknown part of a map. Her hands caress your chest, feeling the blood pumping through your veins, fingers trailing over the goosebumps on your arms, one hand rests over your heart just so she can feel it beat.
She’s real. She’s real. She’s real, repeats in her head over and over again. She doesn’t realise she’s crying when a hand cradles her face and wipes the tears away. She lurches forward, grabbing you into a hug, arms wrapped tightly around you and her head buried into the centre of your chest. You simple thread your fingers through her hair as she wails into your chest, pressing kisses to the crown of her head.
No words need to be spoken for you to know this is all she needs in the moment. Neither of you really know how much time passes nor do you really care. Mara’s cries seem to slowly die down, she settles for breathing in your artificial scent from lotions and perfume.
Her mind seems to reel, no matter how much proof she gathers that this is real, she has a hard time believing the evidence. Slowly her head lifts up, heart clenching in awe as you gaze at her softly. It’s when she finally notices the scar across your neck, eyebrows raising in question. Her hand immediately reaches to trace, dangerously gentle.
“What happened?” she nearly shouts in concern.
You open and close your mouth a few times, unsure on how to proceed. “C-can’t…” you trail off. The tears make a comeback in Mara’s eyes, as she comes to her own conclusion. “Can’t speak?” she finishes for you. You nod.
“I know how to sign,” she confirms. “They taught us in the Academy,” her eyes widen at the sentence. “I’m a hunter now, [Name],” she rests her chin where her head had been, gazing up at you. “Aren’t you proud of me?”
The sadness in the air is replaced by two soft laughs as you nod.
[“You have no idea how much.”]
For a little bit, she stares at you. As if contemplating doing something that she believes might ruin the moment. “I want to do something, angel. Please don’t hate me,” she pleads. You tilt your head in confusion.
[“Never.”]
It’s all the desperate woman in front of you needs. Years of believing you were dead, of finding sanctuary in those carrying pieces of you finally boil over. Her lips are on yours before you can even move, kissing you like the starved fool she is.
Maybe you’re no better as you immediately return the kiss, delighting in the way she hums into your mouth with joy. Her hands slip under your carefully selected night-gown, moving up your thighs and taking the silk material with them. All she has to do is slip a strap off your shoulder to gain access to the skin underneath.
She swallows your moan as a cold finger gently brushes the tip of your nipple, unsure if she can proceed. Taking your whines as confirmation, her hand cups your breast, feeling whatever she can in her hand. You can feel yourself get lightheaded as neither of you have yet to take break from kissing. Your entire body heats at her touch, grinding your lower half into her thigh, chasing friction as you lose yourself in each other.
Yet the rational part of her mind wins as she realises all the unspoken questions between you two. There’s still so much she doesn’t know. Like why you’re in the N109 zone in the first place. She pulls away from you as realisation sinks in, the moment is ruined leaving you staring at confused.
“Was it Sylus who did this?” she asks, pointing at your neck. Blinking as you mentally go over her words, you shake your head.
“What are you even doing with him? He’s dangerous,” she hisses, not wanting to admit to herself that she’s jealous.
“He might’ve even been behind Caleb’s death!”
[“Sylus would never do that,”] you defend.
Mara’s eyes dim at your response, pushing you off her and creating distance.
“You mean the same man that just kept me locked up for three days, forcing me to try and resonate with him?” she snaps.
You look away ashamed, you had gotten used to the changed man Sylus had become for you, that your forgot what he can truly be like. How can you even begin to explain it all to her?
That one day, she’ll come to love him. Just like you do.
“Why aren’t you shocked he’s dead?”
Your eyes widen at her question as you meet her gaze. It’s the first she’s ever looked at you in anger and in betrayal.
“How long have you known?” she whispers.
[“Since it happened.”]
Mara says nothing and it leaves you panicked.
“I was so caught up in you being still alive, I didn’t even see the signs,” she chuckles darkly, bringing a hand up to push through her hair. “I need to talk to Sylus,” she finishes, leaving the room.
Leaving you behind.
Mara steps out into the hallway.
For the first time in her life, she doesn’t want to see you.
Because the heartbroken look on your face is still imprinted in her mind, no matter how hard she tries to remind her heart that you deserve it. Because she’s never made you cry before and all she wants is to go back into that room and finish what she had tried to start.
She takes out her Hunter watch, not shocked as it displays no signal. She comes across a black bird, perched on a pillar. She looks over the bird, deciding it closely resembles a crow despite it being so metallic. Mara thanks her hunter skills as the bird she thought was a statue suddenly zooms past her, into another corridor. She doesn’t know why she follows it.
Soon she comes across a room, her resolve to talk to the man in charge out the window as she hears him talk to a man in that cold manner of his. Every hair on her body stands on edge, a desire to run wins. But a quick flash of your face stops her and it’s enough time for Sylus to force her out.
Mara finds herself in some sort of dining room. Sylus walks over and pours her a glass of wine, like she hadn’t put a bullet through him not so long ago.
“This will be useful for defending yourself in the N109 zone,” he places a gun in front of her with a cold chuckle. As always his indifference to her, leaves her angry.
“Are you mocking me?”
“I’m giving you a way out.” He takes a seat in front of her. “Since you can’t escape, why don’t we make a deal?”
“I’m not interested.” She drinks the wine, the strong liquid an escape she desperately needs.
“As long as you have desires, there will always be deals to make.”
Sylus’s right eyes glows that familiar red, the same that gave her all those hallucinations. He flips a coin in his hand. “So many days have come and gone. You should know your own desires by now.”
“You mean [Name]?” her eyes narrow, standing up and gripping the edges of the table as a clutch. “Is that why she’s here? You’re going to use her as a bargaining chip?” And here she was defending you, she thinks bitterly. What do you see in this guy, angel?
“You know what, fine. I’ll accept this deal. I resonate with you and not only do you give me the Aether core from your auction, you let me leave with her-”
“No.”
Mara glares at him. “What do you mean, no?” she snarls. “Is the core that precious to you?”
“No, she is.”
His declaration is like a splash of cold water on her face, the buzz from the wine is all but faded.
“[Name]’s free to go as she wishes anyway,” he tilts his head with a mischievous look in his eyes, bordering on malicious. “But she’s still mine.”
But he’s still not done. “Besides with the way you just ripped her heart out, how confident are you that she’ll even leave with you now?” he smirks.
“H-how did-”
“This is my house,” he responds wryly. “Of course I know what goes on in it.”
Mara finds herself lost in how to respond. She moves forward to clutch his hand in hers.
“Release me. You can’t do that just yet.”
He knows the woman before him is moving in desperation. You do seem to have that effect on all of them.
Mara looks up at him, wondering why he’s struggling in his head. Wondering why his power seems so familiar. For a while she grips onto his hand, trying her best to will her evol to work. Embarrassment at her own actions creep up, Sylus’s lips quirk at her cuteness though she’ll never know it.
“After all that arrogance, it seems like you can’t even control your own evol,” he teases.
“At the very least, it doesn’t want to be activated in front of you!” she bites back. Again [Name], what do you see in this arrogant jerk!
He shakes his head. “Just as I thought. You’re too weak.”
“You’ve seen the scars on her body,” he whispers. “How can you protect her from the powerful enemies she’s made?”
Mara stares at him.
“Face it. She’s protected as long as she’s by my side.”
“What happened to her? What enemies are you talking about?” she questions.
“It’s not my story to tell,” he waves her off causing a scoff out of her.
He pinches the area between his brow. “Eat as much as you want,” he commands.
She turns to look at the long table. It’s filled with exquisite dishes, each one familiar. Sylus clears his throat to get her attention. “[Name] cooked all your favourites. She was concerned at how frail you felt, the least you can do is eat the food. After you’re done, come find me outside the base’s entrance.”
He walks over to the door, turning back to say one final thing.
“You better hope our deal is successful. Otherwise, consider this your last meal.”
The snow-haired man approaches the crouched figure taking refuge in his bedroom.
“First time in the doghouse, little bird?” Sylus teases as he crouches in front of you, eyes softening when your lift your head up – swollen eyes meeting his.
[“She hates me,”] you sniffle. He moves to sit down next to you.
“She doesn’t hate you,” he comforts. “She’s just angry. Rightfully so.”
His larger hand comes to hold yours, tugging you into his side. “Even if you had wanted to go back, I wouldn’t have let you. Not at that time, so we can share the blame.”
[“Don’t be hard on her, this is all to much for her.”]
He chuckles. “I’ll do what I want,” he playfully coos, wiping away tears on your face. “Now stop crying, we have somewhere to be.”
AN: You know it's serious when Sylus has to play the therapist. Sorry for the short chapter! It's also more of a filler, I feel.
*This is just my MC, not a depiction of what Mara looks like since she has ethnic features.
TW/Tags: angst, dubcon kissing on both ends, alcohol and getting drunk, implied alcoholism, family abuse, shitty mothers, smell mention of mental institution and insanity but in a joking manner, small gore mention, reader being a coward once again but this time with backstory, having a tracker put on you with and without your consent, themes of obsession and general yandere behaviour, horrible written panic attack, mentions of dead bodies, fluff, gunshots, really minor canon character death
Synopsis: A moment with each one of the men and then finally, a moment with…her.
WC: 6104
Masterlist
There is a work of art hidden away in his house.
For the first time in his life, he hides it away for himself.
~~~
Caleb has been trying to get you to give up his birthday present.
And he’s been failing spectacularly.
He’s tried every method at his disposal, (not-so) subtly manipulating it out of you, acting cute in hopes you’d give it up and when it all failed, outright asking you about it. None of them worked. No matter how much he flashed those puppy purple eyes at you, you did not give in. Said puppy tried to mope around and sulk in a last attempt but one threat from you to not give the present if he kept it up set him straight.
Now, it’s June thirteenth and preparations are underway. Since it’s his eighteenth birthday, Caleb’s friends had whisked him away to go clubbing. Neither you or Mara could join but the two of you had spent a great deal of time convincing him to go. That it didn’t bother either of you if he spent most of it with them, that he should be out making those memories so he can look back at them in the future. A future you hoped you could give him. (But you didn’t, did you?)
Mara and you spend the whole day getting the place ready. Josephine was out, for what? You have no idea, you don’t really care for her. You figure that after spending the entire day outside and partying, Caleb would be happy with a small celebration at his home, nothing grand. Only the living room is decorated, streamers hung up, a tacky shiny banner with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ strung up on the wall accompanied by two large gold balloons in the numbers ‘18’. You both also picked out board games and trashy movies but the main thing was his cake.
You make the cake, a simple two-tiered vanilla cake with chocolate ganache covering it. Mara is given decoration duty, she adds numerous sprinkles and edible glitter balls. There’s no rhyme or reason to her art. You let her write the ‘Happy Birthday Caleb’ message on the top, she struggles controlling the piping bag but the end result is readable at least.
The two of you take some time to look over the cake before resting it in the fridge. You both stare at it before breaking out into simultaneous cackles. “It’s hideous,” she says through choked tears, latching onto you and laughing into your neck.
She’s not wrong. The cake is atrocious. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever made.
Eiden rings the doorbell an hour later, at 10:00PM. He couldn’t join sooner since he had work. “Caleb still isn’t home?,” he asks upon entering as you and Mara lounge on the couch, both on your phones. You shake your head in response. He joins you both on the couch, practically collapsing with a deep sigh. You notice him struggling to stay awake and send him back to your house despite his promises that he could stay awake.
Two hours later, it’s midnight and he’s still not here. You stare at the message you had sent an hour ago.
[Name]:
Still at the club?
No response. He must be really out of it, you can’t remember the last time you messaged him and he hadn’t immediately replied. Oh god, were you getting too spoiled?
“Come on,” Mara tugs you to her room. “He’s having fun, let’s just sleep.”
“We can celebrate tomorrow,” she nuzzles into your neck, promptly falling asleep.
An hour later you’re ripped away from your sleep by a loud bang from the front door. You look at the figure next to you, she’s fast asleep. There’s no need to wake her up, you have an inkling as to who it is anyway.
Caleb’s friend looks at you sheepishly when you open the door. He backs away from the lock he had been trying to break into and goes to drag up the knocked out lump on the pavement floor. It’s Caleb, he’s passed out.
“Hey [Name], we didn’t mean to stay out so late. It just happened,” he explains. You don’t really know his name, not that it ever mattered to you. “Bring him to his room,” you nod inside. “Make sure to be quiet. Mara’s sleeping.”
You walk behind them through the hallway, making sure nothing loud is knocked over. Caleb’s friend dumps him on the bed. “Will you be okay getting home?” you ask him. He nods. “My girlfriend dropped us off, she’s waiting for me outside.” You say goodbye to each other, the front door closes and automatically locks.
You’ve never seen Caleb so out of it. His hair is sticking up in several directions as he remains unaware, sweat decorating his brow. The thick jacket he’s sporting is no help. You move closer to remove it and his shoes and are hit with the smell of alcohol. He’s in desperate need of a shower. Or two.
Unlacing his shoestrings, you roll him around as you work off the jacket, the heat is getting to you too. You move towards the panel on his wall, turning on the aircon so he can cool down. But he’s still on top of his blankets, he’ll end up freezing. With a sigh, you roll him around so you can remove the sheets tucked into his mattress and finally bring them over the tall man.
You’re about to turn around when a clammy hand grips your wrist and you’re tugged back down onto the bed. The sudden movement has you close your eyes bracing for the impact, when it’s over you reopen them and stare right back into violet ones. Caleb’s eyes are hazy and hooded over, he’s still not sober but it doesn’t stop him from pressing his lips against yours.
You remain frozen at the contact but your stiffness doesn’t stop him from moving his lips in a frenzy. It’s unlike the first time he had kissed you, back then there was an element of control to it but the alcohol still in his system has left him anything but.
Caleb’s eyes are closed as he works against you and you can’t help taking him in. He’s in a messy state, his entire face flushed red but you’re no better. Your heart is practically beating out of your chest and the kiss feels so…nice. You’d be lying if you did it without thinking but you close your eyes and kiss back. Your response has him whining into your mouth, hands trying to desperately move you closer. Your hands sneak up from his back, curling into the ends of his hair and you tug, which only makes him groan.
He pulls away and you swear his eyes glow in the moon’s light. One of his hands comes up to caress your cheek. “I love you, [Name],” he confesses before dropping his entire weight on you, getting comfortable into your chest. “Even if this is just a dream,” he whispers, falling asleep unaware of the state he leaves you in.
Light snores fill the room soon after, a soothing noise from the menace that left you so confused. As his hold on you gets tighter, you bring your hand up to your lips, gently tracing over the skin. You can still feel the pressure against them.
You want more.
The sun’s rays wake you up, shining brightly down on your face, making you groan at the sudden brightness. Your eyes snap open as you remember the event that took place in the night. Frantically looking around, you confirm that you’re still in Caleb’s room. Seeing as the sun just rose, it must be around 6:00 AM but the room is missing its owner. He must be downstairs.
For a second you contemplate slipping into Mara’s room and ignoring everything that occurred but Caleb doesn’t deserve that. You already broke him once, can you really do it again? (You did)
It takes you a couple of minutes to will yourself off the bed, partly because you’re already dreading the conversation and partly because it’s nice to be soaked in Caleb’s scent. Your feet meet the cold wooden floor, you put on his slippers. The noise from them alerts the very man, his head snapping to you as you approach.
Caleb’s standing before the counter, which has his birthday cake placed on it. His face dons that guilty look you easily recognise. It’s easy to decipher what he’s thinking.
“Stop,” you say as soon as he opens his mouth. “No one’s mad at you, so don’t start.”
“But I broke my promise…” he trails off, not meeting your eyes.
“Finally. I was starting to think you weren’t capable of such a thing. You were out having fun, get over it already,” you move to a cabinet, pulling out small plates. You place them down with a sigh, turning to the now man. “You need to have a life separate from us, Caleb. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to be selfish from time to time,” you ruffle his hair, he leans into it. But the close contact has you scrunching your nose. “Now go take a shower, you stink.”
“Hey!” he playfully glares at you. In real time you see his eyes light up as he gets an idea. “Don’t even think about it,” you warn, turning to run but he easily catches you, smothering you in a tight hug. “No way, you did this to yourself shortcake,” he laughs when you struggle to get out of his grip. “Caleb, you buffoon! I can’t breathe.”
He only lets go when you bite down at his arm, practically launching himself away from you with a yelp. You grin smugly at his pout.
The air thickens as you both maintain eye contact, too many unspoken words amongst you. “About last night…” you begin, breaking his gaze, suddenly too shy. You can feel the heat creep up your neck as you attempt to speak the many thoughts swimming inside your head, the memories of last night not helping.
“What? Did I do something?” Caleb asks, eyebrows furrowing.
“Do…do you not remember?”
“Nope.”
Oh thank fuck.
“Nothing happened. If you count you caging me in your bed nothing,” you roll your eyes. “Now, go take a shower and wake Mara up. I’ll make breakfast and we can celebrate after.”
With a nod, he turns to leave but you stop him just before he does. “Wait,” you say it softly but he hears it. He always does.
With practised nonchalance you slide an envelope towards him. “Happy birthday, Caleb.” He examines the envelope, curious as to what’s inside. “Open it.”
He does as you say, eyes lighting up in wonder at the content.
“You’re such a nerd about air planes and I saw it and thought of you,” you explain, wringing your hands together in hopes he likes it.
“This is…” he trails off, staring at you with too much brewing in his eyes. Ironically, it’s too much for you to handle. “Don’t worry, I checked the company and their reviews were all good. The blimps are all kept it great condition, I even watched videos of them showing the inside and it’s beautiful. And the timing coincides so it’s after your graduation. Think of it as a birthday and graduation gift in one,” you ramble. “But if you don’t like it-”
You’re so caught up in your insecurity that you notice him making quick strides towards you. It’s only you feel his arms around you once again that you stop speaking. His hold isn’t like before, it’s not done in mischievousness. Rather, it’s tender, he holds you like you’re something easy to break. Like you’re fragile.
There once was a time when a hug like this would offend you.
Once.
Now, you lean into it and even though the smell of alcohol still lingers, it doesn’t stop you from pressing your head into him and taking in his smell.
“Is this why you’ve been working like crazy lately?”
You nod. His hold gets tighter. “...For me?” He says it like he can’t believe he deserves it and the thought leaves you angry. He deserves everything.
You’ll spend the rest of your life telling him so.
You pull your head away to glare at him, he only chuckles. His hand comes up to gently brush your cheek. “Thank you,” he whispers, eyes glancing down.
“Love?” Your mother croaks out. “Don’t be so pathetic, [Name]. It makes me laugh.” It’s another night of your father not being here, busy with his other family. The one he truly wants. In a nightly ritual, your mother wanders in, done with whatever club or whoever she was out with. She was greeted with the sight of you on the couch, slowly making her way over and plopping down next to you.
“What are you watching?” she slurs. The only time she asks you about you is when she’s too out of it to remember. “Just a rom-com,” you mutter, about to turn it off and head into your room. You hate dealing with her when she’s like this.
That’s what leads to you here. Before you can call for someone to take her to bed, she reaches out and snatches her hand in yours, her long nails digging painfully into your skin. “Love isn’t possible. Not for us,” she reaches out to caress your cheek. The gesture tender yet filled with insincerity.
“All it is…
is weakness.”
Caleb tries to lean but you back away in time, you ignore the way his eyes dim. He tries to brush it off with a fake smile. “We can make a whole trip out of it. Just you and me and Mara.”
“What do you say, shortcake?”
“Whatever the birthday boy wants.”
You never go on that trip.
Rafayel thinks he’s really close to becoming insane.
In fact, he’s already been looking at mental institutions. There’s a really nice one two hours away, on a beach. Top facilities and great reviews. He can almost envision himself lying on the sand with the sun on his skin. A misleading drink with a lethal amount an alcohol with a cute umbrella in hand. It’s tempting.
So, so tempting.
Unfortunately, the woman on his bed is even more so.
The website remains bookmarked...for now. He’s sure he’s going to be revisiting it a lot in the future.
It’s been two days since he brought you into his house and you still have the audacity to be asleep. Despite his jokes, it’s been two days and the trembling in his hands still hasn’t gone down. He’s ghosted everyone, telling them all he left on some spontaneous trip for inspiration. In reality, he can’t even pick up a brush or pencil. All thanks to you.
You owe him so much.
And he’s going to cash it in every chance he gets because what gives you the right to have him so worried. He struggles to even close his eyes because then all he sees is the image of you lying in a pool of your blood, practically drowning in your own red.
Thankfully, the bleeding had stopped by the time he got you into his car. At least he won’t have to clean your blood out of his seats. He’s been alive for so long yet for the first time in a while, he’s experiencing something Rafayel has never seen.
He gets a front row seat to seeing your self-inflicted injury heal. Seeing the blood vessels connect, as the muscles form once again and finally new skin overtakes. But it leaves a scar. Another one.
You already have so many.
He doesn’t like that.
Especially as a voice yells inside him that he’s failed you.
Yet again.
Scratch that, you owe him a lifetime debt for his troubles.
He should’ve just ignored your signed words to not go to a hospital and just dumped you in one and washed his hands clean of you. Yet, the anguish in your eyes for a child you didn’t even know is also imprinted in his head. Rafayel doesn’t exactly have a long list of humans he likes but you just might end up on there if you keep this up.
For now, he settles on watching over you. He’s way out of his comfort zone, he knows nothing about you. Not even your name or how the hell you’re still alive. All he knows is that your presence feels familiar despite having never met you.
All he knows that he shouldn’t be so satisfied with keeping you hidden away from everyone. A piece of art just for him. To look and admire all he wants.
The morning clouds have all but sizzled out, replaced by their sombre counterparts as the sun is dragged down. Rafayel has nothing to do but wait. He hates waiting. His doorbell ringing snaps him out.
The camera shows a familiar face. Alluring brown eyes stare at him through the camera, cross-eyed on purpose so he laughs. “What are you doing here, cutie?” he asks through the voice box, quickly moving to open the door but only enough so his body fits and another can’t come through.
Mara grins at him. His shakes go away instantly. “Two whole days went by with no message from you. I knew that going on a trip was all bullshit,” she holds up a bag of takeout. “I come baring gifts,” she hands it to him. He wants nothing but to invite her in...but does he want to share you?
She must have noticed something on his face because she flashes a quick smile. “Just wanted to see if you were okay, Raf,” her soft voice rings out. “I have a early mission tomorrow so I can’t stay but take care,” she waves her hand and leaves. He stares at the spot she was just standing, wanting nothing more than for her to come back. For her to stay and them to eat the food together, the air filled with the lullaby that is her laugh. With a sigh, he closes the door and walks back inside.
What he doesn’t see is that Mara lingers a bit outside on the street, gaze fixed on his house. She’s been to Whitesand Bay dozens of times at this point, Rafayel’s house has become common enough for her to remember where he keeps everything but for the first time, she doesn’t want to leave.
With great reluctance, she battles the need to go back inside and turns to leave.
You stare right into blue eyes. Or are they pink? No...they might be both.
They stare back at you in shock.
You can’t really move much of your body. Everything fucking hurts, you’re starving and all you want to do is sleep. Your eyes flicker, torn between staying awake or sleeping. A shiver runs down your body. A warm hand touches your forehead, a contrast to the cold of your body. “Sleep,” you think that’s what the man tells you. His words fill you with warmth.
So, you sleep.
The next time you wake up, it’s much warmer. There are thicker blankets on you and the heat is on. The clothes you’re in have changed too, woolly sleeping clothes that are oddly a perfect fit. You don’t know how many days have passed but fuck, you’re starving.
It takes a few minutes but you slowly get off the bed and press one foot down on the floor. Then the other. One step. Two step. Until you’re at the bedroom door. Praying it doesn’t creak, you slowly open it. The view the small gap through the door gives you isn’t enough so with caution, you step out. Now that your brain seems to be functioning, you’ve realised you really don’t want to stay here and explain everything. Nope. You’re too tired.
So, what better than to run the fuck away and pretend the last few days never happened!
You’re about halfway to the front door when a voice stops you in your tracks.
“Going somewhere?” an uncharacteristically low timbre from behind you rings out. You turn around flashing the scowling man a sheepish smile. [“I was looking for food.”]
“So, you ignored the whole kitchen?” he rose an eyebrow.
[“Fine...I was making a run for it.”]
You wait for an outburst, even a single line of ‘HA I knew it,’ but he just looks at you and turns toward the kitchen. “There’s soup,” is all he says. Guilt gnaws at your bones or is it hunger?
You quietly follow behind Rafayel, feeling so out of place amongst his beautifully decorated house. Seriously the décor is amazing, not a single thing is half-assed. Even the salt and pepper shakers are works of arts. Would it be too much to ask him to decorate your place? Yeah it would be. But are you going to ask anyway? Yes.
The smell of simple chicken soup smells like food served at a Michelin restaurant, your body reacts like it is as well.
A bowl of steaming soup is offered to you, a spoon placed in it after. A hand nudges you toward a dining table. Rafayel takes a seat in front of you. There’s a bowl placed in front of him but he doesn’t eat, instead taking the time to watch you. Look over you in fact. Satisfaction is thinly veiled in his expression and relief as well. “You look good,” he states and leaves it at that.
It’s awkward eating in such silence but the grumbling in your stomach takes precedence. An empty bowl sits before you in a couple of minutes.
[“I have to leave.”]
Rafayel leans back into the chair, head tilted slightly, gaze narrowed as he analyses you. It leaves you nervous. You really hope it’s the lightning make his eyes appear so red.
“Why were you involved in that meeting?”
[“I can’t tell you.”]
How would you even start? Why would you even tell him anything? Your knowledge on him is outdated anyway and technically this is your first meeting. You remind yourself, you don’t have to tell him. No matter how much you want too.
But you do owe him.
[“It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.”]
He just hums and maintains eye contact with you. You want nothing more than to look away, his gaze is practically burning into you. You have no idea what he’s thinking and that leaves you scared.
Rafayel reaches into his pocket and slides an object towards you. It’s a phone. His.
“Give me your contact,” is all he says. You give him a confused look. “Agree to answer when I call and you can leave”.
With a sigh, you pick up the phone and do what he wants. There’s a grin on his face at your obedience. “I’ll bring you a change of clothes,” he informs you. You nod and get up to move.
“Oh, and…”
You look back at him but he seems to change his mind and usher you into the room you were recovering in.
He lingers behind you as you walk out the front door.
[“Thank you. You didn’t have to help. And I’m sorry.”]
You give him a smile as he leans against his front door and turn to leave. He doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like you walking away from him.
“You have a story, huh?” At his voice you look back. In similar fashion, he has his arms crossed and head tilted with a slight smirk on his face, like he had done plenty of times in the game. “Will you tell it to little ol’ me?”
He tries to hide it but you see the flash of insecurity. You feel like you should after all you’ve put him through, no you want to, desperately. If he told you to rip your heart out, you’d do it. And that scares you, why do all of them have such a control over you? It’s hard to change your thinking, one engraved so deeply into you, that love was the ultimate weakness.
[“Prove yourself worthy first,”] you tease him, brushing it off like the coward you are.
As you walk away, it’s to the undeserved sound of him laughing.
You crash out on your couch when you arrive.
Which is why it’s weird when you awake on your bed. There’s still a dull ache radiating through your body when you get up to move but it’s nothing you can’t handle. There’s sounds of movement in the kitchen and you’re not worried. No one with bad intentions would place you on your bed with the blanket over you. You pick up two sets of footsteps but nothing else.
The sight of Sylus’s broad back by the stove top isn’t shocking on its own but it is when it’s accompanied with Zayne sitting on a bar stool nursing a cup of coffee with a laptop displayed before him.
Before you can question if hell froze over, Zayne notices you first and all you feel is the warmth of the back of his hand on your forehead. “You’re awake,” he speaks factually, nodding at your temperature. “Good.”
“Had to stop Doc here from hauling you to the hospital, little bird,” Sylus smirks. “Told him you could handle it,” yet his eyes still check you over, shoulders relaxing at your much better state. Zayne glares at him but it lacks the bite it did at their first meeting. “I was worried. It’s not like you to not answer my messages,” he explains.
Right, you left your phone behind before the mission. In your defence, not only do you barely use it but you had thought you would be coming straight back.
[“Right. So, when did you two become friends?”] you raise an eyebrow, pointing at the two of them. Zayne blanches and even Sylus looks a little offended. “Please don’t joke around like that,” Zayne crosses his arms. “Your doctor is right. We’re merely tolerating the other,” Sylus waves his words off. “Sit, I made pasta.”
“And you need to eat. You still look pale”.
Zayne’s eyes still don’t move off your body, filled with concern. You won’t deny the joy you feel at his worry. Sylus places a steaming hot portion of pasta in front of you before taking a seat. “I called him over three hours ago, when I found you passed out,” the snow-haired man explains. “Had to make sure you were okay”.
He doesn’t ask anything more than that, urging you to eat instead. You do. No one says a word, simply focusing on the food. It’s good, Sylus has always been a good cook after all.
A hand clasps around your wrist when you’re done. “You gave me a scare, little bird. Nearly an entire week with no word from you,” his voice is low as his finger caresses your wrist. “I thought…”
...that I sent you to your death.
He moves faster than you, you don’t react to his movements at all. You trust him. He secures something cold to your wrist, his hands cover the object so you can’t figure out what it is. When they move you notice, it’s a smart watch. You rotate your wrist examining it, there’s no buckle.
“It’s a tracker. I refuse to have this happen again,” you throw him a confused look, tugging at the material. [“How do I remove it?”]
“You don’t”.
You look to Zayne for help but deflate at his words. “It monitors your vitals as well, letting us know if something is wrong”.
[“Can you go back to hating each other? I hate this.”]
The two lightly laugh when you try to bite it off.
The lack of agency should anger you. You should be putting up a fight. They don’t get to make such a choice without your approval. That’s the right way to feel.
But you aren’t any of them.
Their simultaneous worry, their concern which led them to undertake an action that could have affected your trust in them, leaves you happy. You feel desired…
...worshipped.
Their actions are concerning. Unhinged.
But what does it say of you who likes it?
You can be really stupid sometimes.
You’ve long accepted it. For all your academic accomplishments, the most common conclusions often allude you.
For example, you decided to live in a city where your only remaining family member lives, where the main cast either reside in or frequently visit and you still act shocked when you come across one of them.
There was a buzz in Linkon, some festival was happening. You didn’t really go into the details of it, which is why you’re regretting your decision to go grocery shopping on what you thought was a normal day but was in fact the first day of the festival. Every nudge to your shoulder from the large crowd has you contemplating becoming a mass murderer, they’re all so close, each of them so loud with distinct smells. It’s overwhelming.
Even more so when your eyes fall on Eiden. He hasn’t noticed you, not in the huge crowd. His husband is with him, holding his arm and leading him away. Ei shouldn’t be here, this type of crowd could be detrimental.
Despite your increasing worry, you duck behind a random stranger as his eyes swoop over where you had been standing, no doubt feeling your gaze. You swallow for air you suddenly struggle breathing as you freak out, pushing everyone around you as you run for cover, running into an alley.
You collapse on the floor, cradling your head into your arms to try and block everything out. You weren’t ready to see him again.
“Why do you always do that?” a soft voice asks you.
Eiden joins you on the swing in your backyard. It’s a nightly ritual of sorts for you to spend a few minutes out here before heading to bed. Your father built this swing for you a couple years back.
“Do what?” you respond.
“Act like you deserve nothing good,” the previous soft voice is a little more harder now. He’s angry at you.
“I…”
How do you even begin to answer a question like that?
“I don’t get what you mean, Ei,” you settle for this instead.
“It’s exhausting seeing you constantly brush off the affections of others. I know you’re aware of what Mara and Caleb feel for you,” he leaves no room for you to breathe. Seeing you try to get up and leave, his hand encases yours in an attempt to ground you. It works.
“Or even when your own family shows you love, you reject it,” his eyes move across your face. The conversation is too much, you need to leave.
But he’s not done.
“You’ll regret it one day, sis. One day, no one will come back”.
There’s a heavy silence in the air.
He’s still not done.
“It’s time you stop running away from whatever that is and accept the life you live now”.
Funny enough not even a couple hours later, the lifeless bodies of your parents lay before you as you’re dragged away and what you thought was the dead body of your brother crumpled into a corner.
Guess he wasn’t wrong in saying that one day they’ll never come back.
Heavy footsteps snap you out of it.
A sheepish Xavier looks back at you, hesitant to say anything. He’s carrying something fluffy in his arms, a plushie. He must have noticed the confused look on your face as he explains.
“Um…,” he trails off, looking at the plushie in his arms and extends it to you. “I won this at the arcade. I’m not the best at it,” he looks away with a blush. “It actually reminds me of you now that I look at it. I’ll give it to you”.
You take the gift, studying the owl. It’s feathers are the colour of your hair and the eyes just like yours. It looks stupid but your heart warms and before you know it, your laugh rings through the silence.
He stares at you in awe. For a while, he’s frozen but then he sits down next to you. “You...you can continue what you were doing if you want. I’ll just be here. Your silent protector”.
You shake your head. [“I’m okay now, thanks to you.”] He returns the smile you give him. “I’m glad.”
[“But...can we just sit here for a while? I don’t think I’m ready to leave.”]
“Of course, we can. I owe you one for your help anyway”.
Because, it starts with comforting you here then you’ll seek him out after he becomes a safe space. It’s fine with him, he spent years doing the same to you. Soon, he’ll integrate into every part of your life and you won’t be able to get rid of him. You’ll be right where he wants you.
There has to be a reason you’re here before him now, why his queen is also here. It can’t be a coincidence.
He’ll find the reason as to why.
But no one said he couldn’t enjoy himself while he did.
“She’s digging around the workings of Onychinus,” Sylus informs you.
“If she gets any closer, I don’t have a choice but to intervene,” he words it like it means nothing but you know he’s silently asking if it’s okay with you.
[“Do what you have to, Sylus. I’ll support you no matter what”.] you reassure him.
Sylus can’t help the excitement that buzzes through him, she’s looking for him. Maybe not him exactly but in just a couple of hours, she’ll be back by his side. You stay back at the base as he orders the twins to handle her carefully while he waits atop the chapel.
The bullet stops mid air as his evol propels it back into the fool that fired the gun.
The twins are quick to scatter as Sylus steps closer to her.
He activates his eye, want-no needing this to be done quick.
[Name] is waiting for us, my love.
But she doesn’t remember. All he feels is the ache in her heart for you and none for him.
Confronted with desires she no longer understands, he shouldn’t be shocked when the knife grazes his cheek. The mark is nothing compared to some of the injuries he’s endured in his long reign as the leader of Onychinus and long before that too.
Then why does it hurt so much?
“I guess you don’t remember anything”.
“After all, you and I...we’re the same. True kindred spirits”.
You think you just might burn a whole through the floor with intensity in which you’re pacing around. It feels like your body might just shut down from the sheer nerves running through your veins.
Is it too late to run?
“...accept the life you live now”.
You can’t. Running away isn’t in the cards for you anymore. Because one day, they won’t come back. And you can’t let that happen.
“[Name]…?”
The achingly familiar voice whispers your name in soft tone, almost like she can’t believe it’s you. You turn to the voice.
As devastatingly beautiful as ever, my Mara.
Except you can’t say those words anymore.
You settle for a smile with tears instead.
AN: I'm sure you're all wondering as to why it took me nearly a month to update. I mentioned it before but this year has been horrible all around, and recently I was dealing with a concussion but I was done with Caleb's part of this chapter last Tuesday and updated a sneak peak here saying it should be published last Friday but that never ended up happening since I'm releasing it now.
That's because my aunt passed away so I've been dealing with that. It's weird grieving someone I haven't contacted in over a decade for the pain she's caused my family, my mother - her own sister yet still missing her absence so much. All I can remember is the woman who would keep my favourite chocolate in random places of her house for me to find. Who would make me roti no matter how tired she was. And the guilt is fucking crushing.
The only reason I finished writing this chapter is because I desperately need a distraction so if this chapter comes off as lacking in emotion or just downright lacking, I hope you'll forgive me. I already don't like the interaction between Rafayel and reader, it's missing alot but I'll rectify that in the future. Updates will now be once a month, I don't think I can keep up once a week anymore.
I promise I haven't forgotten to write the next chapter! I just went back to school and was hit with assignment after assignment, especially since I took a week off. The chapter is coming along, I decided to include a special part about Caleb's birthday since it's his birthday month (yes I got the card and yes I will be implementing it into this story, I'd be crazy not to but that's for the future).
Small spolier for the chapter but every love interest will be in it! Which means it's probably going to be long, I'm still on Caleb's part right now but I'm close to finishing it. I think I should release it by Thursday or Friday. Depends on how fast I finish it. I also have to write chapter two for Salvage and get started on Sylus's version of Miseria since he dominated the poll.
You remain frozen at the contact but your stiffness doesn’t stop him from moving his lips in a frenzy. It’s unlike the first time he had kissed you, back then there was an element of control to it but the alcohol still in his system has left him anything but.
Caleb’s eyes are closed as he works against you and you can’t help taking him in. He’s in a messy state, his entire face flushed red but you’re no better. Your heart is practically beating out of your chest and the kiss feels so…nice. You’d be lying if you did it without thinking but you close your eyes and kiss back. Your response has him whining into your mouth, hands trying to desperately move you closer. Your hands sneak up from his back, curling into the ends of his hair and you tug, which only makes him groan.
He pulls away and you swear his eyes glow in the moon’s light. One of his hands comes up to caress your cheek. “I love you, [Name],” he confesses before dropping his entire weight on you, getting comfortable into your chest. “Even if this is just a dream,” he whispers, falling asleep unaware of the state he leaves you in.
With Zayne and Caleb's part one done, who did you guys want next? I have to write the next chapter for my other series first then I'll get back to Miseria.
Synopsis: Six different timelines. In each one you find yourself taking over the life of an extra in the game you had been so smitten with. In each life you’re different, whether it’s a different job, or where you live and even your personality. But only one thing remains constant, you’re determined to avoid them. You’re not in the body of the MC so it’s not like they’ll even notice. Right?
You really shouldn’t have underestimated them.
Alternatively: Local handsome doctor man will keep you locked up!
MC | Caleb | Sylus | Xavier | Rafayel | ???
TW/Tags: MDNI, yandere Zayne, obsession, possessive behaviour, adultery/infidelity (not by reader or Zayne), divorce (reader’s backstory), misogyny, reader used to be a housewife (which I don’t shit on just how they’re taken advantage of), heartbreak, rejection, unrequited love (x2 for Zayne), manipulation, stockholm syndrome (?), dub-con, power dynamics (he’s your superior), workplace relationships, friendship breakups, implied non-consensual pregnancy, birthcontrol tampering, implied forced marriage, stalking (not just by Zayne), break ins, attempted rape (but nothing happens and not by Zayne), trauma bond (idk if it’s the right word), sexual content ( m!masturbation, p in v, semi-public sex, office sex, creampie), probably incorrect medical info and incorrect understanding on how hospitals work since author just searched shit up, fake dating, police bashing, violence, dead dove do not eat
WC: 12.2K
Masterlist
Disclaimer: This is a yandere work. The character's personalities have become dramatised as a result. This is not what I think of them at all even as yanderes, it's just for pure indulgence. MC in the boys chapters is not the same one in her's, she's just generic but she will always be a friend. This is not a safe space for MC haters. If you don't like any of this then don't read.
Zayne is very out of character in this. I cannot emphasise this enough.
Three weeks.
It has been three weeks since you went to bed and woke up the next day inside a fucking game.
Not just any game, the one that had been your comfort when things would get too much. Maybe it was childish or pathetic to rely on fictional men, but then they shouldn’t have been written so beautifully. Their muscles also helped.
The surgeon had quickly wormed his way into your heart and your wallet. You had collected every single memory of his, all his outfits and were well on your way to reaching the highest infinity with him. But one regret stood in your way. When his second myth had been released, your finances weren’t the best so with great control, you didn’t pull. Instead you waited over a year for a re-run. You watched with joy as you got the first memory within twenty pulls. The guarantee resets. Sixty more left.
You worked hard to save up for sixty pulls. It was Sunday, the last day before the banner would end. There are two hours left. You have a fifty-fifty chance. With a gulp, you pull until ten pulls are left. This is it. Sweat runs down your face, you tap your phone. The screen goes gold. It’s too soon to cheer. You quickly tap through all the three stars until your screen blanks. With bated breath, you await for the animation.
It’s green.
You scream as Caleb pops up.
Now you have to wait another year.
With no other choice, you go to sleep and no you’re not crying when you do (you totally are).
Only to wake up in someone else’s bed. You stumble around in a panic, have all those mafia romance books come back to bite you in the ass? They were just a guilty pleasure! You do not want a tall man covered in tattoos named ‘Sergio’ calling you kitten or doll, you cringe just thinking about it.
But then you come across a photo on a desk. It’s of you and an old woman you’ve never met. Oddly enough she looks a lot like you…
That’s when they hit. Not in a gentle way like a mother’s touch caressing as you fall asleep but like you’ve been fucked in the ass by a chainsaw.
Too many memories for you to count. All of you in another life, in this life. The you in these memories laughs the way you do, she moves just like you, it’s clear you’re one and the same. The only difference you can see are the lives you’ve led and the way they’ve shaped you. She’s more…of a pushover and as you live through her memories, she’s been taken advantage of way too many times because of it.
Your original life wasn’t hard, you just had to be independent from a young age and advocating for yourself comes with that because no one else will. You’re too out of it now but later you notice the decay in her apartment, the lack of anything nice and the brutal ache in her chest that has you clawing at the skin desperate to rip your heart out so the suffering can end. All of it is a result of her inability to wish and seek better for herself.
Maybe if she had been a bit like you in that regard, then this wouldn’t be her ending. Thrown away by the one who claimed to love her and abandoned by everyone else.
Your first day is spent in a state of disarray.
The constant barrage of memories leave your head feeling like it’s about to explode. It’s exhausting for your body and mind, you’re oddly dehydrated after. All you can do is lay back down on the bed and sleep.
The second day is spent in a state of anger.
You’ve had time to process her life and you’ve come to one conclusion. Every single person in her (your?) life deserves the pear of anguish. That photo of you with the woman? Smashed into pieces. Not even your own mother was on your side. The ring still on her finger? Gently placed to the side because it’ll fetch a lot of money. You might be angry but you’re not a fool.
The rest of the weeks are spent trying to fix her mistakes.
Your other self was for a lack of better word, brilliant. You feel sick at what she’s been reduced to.
It’s a story you’ve seen countless times: a genius woman meets a man who’s insecure about her brilliance so he manipulates her until she no longer believes in herself and settles for a lifetime as a housewife. And look where that got her.
Discarded. Like. Fucking. Trash.
Her fucking pathetic excuse for a husband gaslit her into accepting the most diabolic pre-nup you’ve ever seen. She was left with nothing in the end, not even the clothes, jewellery or gifts he had bought for her. It’s surprising he still let her keep the ring.
It wasn’t even like her marriage had anything good about it, a cheating scumbag for a husband whose mother hated her. Mrs Choi never failed to remind your other self that you weren’t good enough, born from a poor family and no greater education (like her own son didn’t put a stop to it).
After you throw a pity party for yourself, you spend the week applying to as many jobs as you can. One gets back, a little cashier job in a small grocery mart. The pay isn’t much but it’ll cover your bills and you get a discount. It’ll do for now. It’s hard starting all over again but you’ll work hard to save and go back to school. You’ll do it for your other self, give her the ending she deserved.
But if you do ever come face to face with her, you’ll also give her a slap.
It’ll be a wake up call and also because it’ll be therapeutic for you, you can’t even enjoy the fact that you’re in your favourite game. You’ve been thrust into the deep end when you’ve only just put on the swimwear.
There are no words to describe the realisation that you’re not in the body of the MC but a random background character, one who doesn’t even live in Linkon. It’s like whoever brought you here is telling you not to get your hopes up.
So, you don’t. You accept this is your life now. Maybe you’ll visit Linkon in the future and watch them from the sidelines or maybe you won’t.
That’s how three weeks go by.
In the fourth week, you’re interrupted by your plans to sleep and sleep by your doorbell ringing. A familiar grouchy face filled with wrinkles stares back at you.
“Well?” she demands. “Are you going to invite me in or stand there gawking?”
When you don’t respond, Mrs Choi makes her own way in. She stops and examines your place, her vintage and designer clothing contrasting heavily with the cheap furniture.
“Tch.”
Tch?
TCH???
This fucking b-
“It’s your son’s fault I’m living like this. Go judge him,” you snap. Her eyes widen a little before a smirk settles onto her face. “Finally grew claws?” She doesn’t wait for an answer and makes herself at home on your couch.
“And that’s exactly what I was doing. I was judging him,” she rests her hands on the handle of her cane. “Do sit down, we have a lot to discuss.”
Interested in the direction this conversation was going, you do as she says. Though, a part of you is pissed she’s commanding you in your own home, however disgusting it may be.
“What could we possibly have to discuss?”
“For starters, I’ve never approved of you marrying my son.”
You let out a cold laugh, she doesn’t even blink. “No shit.”
“Because you deserved better.”
Your jaw hangs open.
“I saw it from the start, when he began courting you. You were brilliant and meant for more and he knew. He couldn’t stand it because he’s just like his father,” she looks to the side, shaking her head. “That boy…I tried so hard to teach him better but I failed. I begged him to end the relationship, begged him to leave you alone but he didn’t listen. Then when you got married all I could do was treat you horribly in the childish hopes you would leave on your own,” she looks straight into your eyes, a forlorn expression on her face. “But he had dug too deep into you and you were willing to deal with it. For him. You reminded me so much of myself, I suppose that’s why I was trying so hard to help. Well…in my own way.”
Sitting there on your stained couch, Mrs Choi who had once felt so big when in front of you, was suddenly so small. “It was already too late for me when I began to recognise the cage I built for myself but I’m glad it’s not for you,” that’s when she gives you a smile. The only genuine one you’ve ever seen. How did you not see it before? The anguish in her eyes, the metaphoric stone wall she covered herself in for protection.
This could’ve been your future.
But thank fuck it’s not.
She must’ve seen the relief in your eyes because a small smile makes its way on her face. “But that’s also not the reason I’m here,” she reaches into her purse, pulling out a white envelope. “Here. It’s not even close to the amount you deserve for all the years you put up with my son, for all of your labour he exploited but it should be enough for a new life.”
You open the seal, delicately since you’re not sure what’s in it. Your eyes widen at the amount listed on the account. “The account is in your name and only you have access to it.”
“B-but why…?” You stare at her.
“If I can help just one woman from a fate like mine then I’ll be content.”
“...”
“But there’s one condition.”
You bring the paper in front of you down, replacing it with her face which is looking at you.
“Go back to medical school, [Name]. One far from here. There’s a prestigious one in Linkon city where I have a friend on the board. He’s willing to offer a scholarship, especially after I showed him your unfinished thesis.”
“How did you even find that?”
“I have my ways. Of course, you’ll have to finish that thesis during your time. I suggest packing up and leaving as soon as you can.”
And you do.
The first thing was calling the number she had left, a Mr Xenly answered. He had been eager to talk, asking questions about your thesis and expressed disappointment about it not being finished. You talk over video, he’s bright and cheerful which makes your nerves calm down. Your placement for next year is confirmed and for the rest of the week, the elation you feel never comes down.
Packing up everything you owned was easy. Too easy. It hurt a little to see firsthand how little you own, how little you were left with. It infuriates you how easy it's become to brush off the hurt, the pain, the sting from betrayal. But this is a fresh start, it’s time to leave it all behind.
Mr Xenly is kind enough to find a small and cheap apartment off campus for you, the pictures you received don’t do it justice. It’s small, practically a studio but compared to what you had before, it’s paradise. You have too much money on your hands now, so you reward yourself by sprucing up the place. Comfy blanket throws, cute cushion covers, aesthetic decorations are all over the apartment by the end of the week.
It’s yours and it’s perfect.
Medical school is hard. Which everyone knows but you were still not prepared for how difficult it can be. You have your other self’s intelligence to back you up but you still struggle. Part of you is happy to be challenged so much.
Currently you’re sitting in the lecture hall, listening to your professor drone on. It’s taking everything to not let the boredom win, keeping your eyes open as long as you can. A nudge to your shoulder wakes you up again. You turn to the assailant, it’s Leo. He smirks at your annoyed expression and mouths “focus” at you. With a glare you do as he says.
You met this menace on your first day here, you stuck out amongst the students since you were older and that’s how you got his attention. Unfortunately, he’s never left you alone since then and you have no idea how you’ve made it three years dealing with him.
The lecture thankfully ends ten minutes later but not before the professor reminds you of the special guest lecturer coming in next week. You roll your eyes at the reminder, they’ve been talking about it for weeks, it would be hard not to come across it.
Next week arrives faster than you would’ve thought. It’s on a random Tuesday when your world once again tilts on its axis. You had no idea back then, the chain of events that would happen after.
Leo as usual is waiting for you, quick to throw his arm around your shoulders and usher you in. There’s an exciting buzz in the air, the students are looking forward to something. Or someone.
That’s when you see him, standing tall in pants and a warm shirt. His hair rivals even the darkest obsidian and his eyes…
They are so striking that even you halt a little in the doorway and Leo, completely unaware, ends up pushing you to a seat.
The other students swoon over him and you can’t blame them. While the class settles down and he sets up to prepare, you take the time to watch him again.
You wait for the butterflies but you feel…nothing. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man but your heart doesn’t race, you don’t sweat and you don’t even feel nervous when his gaze meets yours in the crowd.
Did his eyes linger or are you just being delusional?
He starts the lecture, not looking at you again.
Yup, delusional.
You don’t have time to be disappointed in your lack of feelings as you get swept up in his lecture. He’s a genius, the way he weaves his words and presents them have you hanging off the edge of your seat. His findings are revolutionary. This is the man you want to work under, the one you want as a mentor. He’s the only one capable of sending you to great heights.
If only you realised the opposite of that can also be true.
It’s the most you’ve ever seen your class participate, they’re silent as they listen to every word and so many hands are up in the air, each with their own questions. Just like that, three hours pass.
After the lecture is over, you find yourself in a café on campus. Leo is gone to his job so you have plenty of time before you meet again. There's a restaurant that just opened. He wants to take you and you’re always open to trying new food. The cappuccino is a small comfort in your hands, a little defence against the harsh cold.
“Hello.”
The coffee goes all over the table and your clothes as you shriek from the sudden presence and familiar voice. Your hands work fast to use napkins to clean the mess up. Another pair of hands join you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you hadn’t noticed me,” his melodic voice rings out. “It’s fine, Dr Li. I should’ve been more alert.”
He joins you at the table, all of the coffee has been cleaned up and your clothes can’t be helped. “Please, call me Zayne. I’m not working right now.”
“Okay, Zayne,” you nod.
“Mr Xenly shared your thesis with me. It’s not often he’s so impressed. I was curious to meet the person who had such astonishing results,” he looks you deep in the eyes as he says. The praise out of his mouth on your first meeting leaves you flustered. You might not feel anything for the man but he’s still the man you had once been so smitten with, he still carries with him all his little quirks that you were so taken with. “Your theories on solutions to combat antibiotic resistance leave much to be desired. Like many have already told you, I look forward to when you finish it.”
“Thank you Dr-I mean Zayne. It means a lot coming from you.”
He offers you a gentle smile and takes his leave but not before adding one last thing. “Akso Hospital would be lucky to have you, if you’re considering it for your residency.”
To be honest, you weren’t considering it. You didn’t want to experience his love story with her, you had no desire to see it play out right in front of you but things have changed now. You feel nothing for him, it doesn’t even sting to think of them together so why should you give up the option of working alongside one of the best surgeons designed for this world?
You nod. “I’ll consider it.”
And you don’t see him again after that. Not as you graduate, not as you finish your thesis and not even on your first day at Akso.
Leo follows you to Akso, his interest has always been in paediatrics but you still haven’t made up your mind which makes you glad that you’re expected to rotate around the departments and assist in every single area.
Your first two years will be spent in this rotation, the first as an intern and the second as a resident. When they are over you’ll be able to choose your specialised area. Akso is known for its cardiology and general surgery department, maybe you’ll wind up in one of those.
You meet him again in the second week. His eyes don’t widen as he sees you, there’s no quirk in his eyebrows, he’s just normal as he greets you. Which you’re thankful for and a little embarrassed you had expected a reaction in the first place.
What he does is rightfully yell at you on the first patient you assist him with. A little girl in for a heart transplant, who you were left to watch over after the surgery was done along with four other patients. Between the constant back and forth, you failed to notice a drop in her vitals which led to her being rushed to the emergency room and she survived by the skin of her teeth. You took his words in stride, you had failed and you deserved to hear each one.
Later, Leo finds you tucked into some corner of the hospital. You’re too busy crying to notice him until he throws an arm and pulls you into his side. “You’ve become famous already,” he jokes, which only makes you cry harder. Seeing his joke didn’t land the way he wanted, the boy panics, “I was just kidding, no one else knows [Name]! I only found out from the friendly nurse who thought I could comfort you.” You can’t help laughing at his panicked face, he looks just like a squirrel. He lightly hits you on the shoulder. “Were Dr Li’s words that harsh? I think this is the first time I’ve seen you cry.”
You shake your head. “He was right to yell at me. I’m crying because she’s still alive, because I didn’t kill her,” you bring your head down to your knees. “I know it’s going to happen sooner or later but I’d really like it to be later.”
Leo says nothing else, just letting you cry into his arms.
Neither of you notice the pair of feet around the corner nor as their footsteps walk away.
“Here,” Leo hands you something. It’s banana milk.
“Oh, that’s sweet of you but I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m lactose intolerant.”
You cackle at his dumbfounded expression.
“Wh-a how have I never known this? We’ve been friends for years, [Name]! This is the sort of thing you tell your friends! And I’ve seen you eat dairy before.”
“Yeah cause I had time to constantly go to the toilet before but I can’t do it now, can I?”
With a sulk, he finishes the milk.
The next day, Zayne pulls you aside. “I hope you’re not upset about yesterday,” he calmly asks. It’s not an apology and you don’t deserve one. “I’m alright, Doctor. Please don’t go easy on me.”
His lips quirk. “I’d never.”
Two years don’t go by as quickly as you would’ve liked. You spend each day and many nights at the hospital, doing the grunt work and getting yelled at. A lot. You’ve also lost patients in that time. The first one had been the hardest but you had Leo for comfort. The two of you had become each other’s rock, exchanging stories and information about how to get on the good side of your seniors. You’re just glad he was by your side.
At the end of the two years, you decide to go into cardiology and he sticks by paediatrics. Which meant he wouldn’t be staying at Akso, finding a better program elsewhere.
You’ve always hated airports and they’re no better inside the game. The long wait lines, the amount of people, the sounds of crying children, it’s all so overstimulating. But you pull through and deal with it, for Leo.
“Aww, don’t cry [Name],” the brown-haired man teases you. He wraps his arm around you, securing you both in a tight hug. “I knew you’d miss me.”
“I’m not crying,” you say as you cry. The boy before you gives a small smile, he looks all over your face and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so nervous. His hand comes up gently to brush away some tears.
“I’ve liked you this entire time, you know?” he whispers. You nod. You did know.
“I don’t expect an answer but I’ll wait for you, [Name],” he leaves but not before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
The first few months without him were hard, you knew how much you relied on him but you didn’t think it would be this bad. The two of you still talk but it’s at completely odd hours and only lasts for a couple of minutes each time. It’s not enough but you have no choice but to make it enough. You don’t have the right to ask him to come back, to be by your side when you’re not sure you can reciprocate his feelings. Even if by some miracle you do, there will always be that tiny voice in the back of your head telling you to check his phone or that he’s out with another woman and you’ll never be able to fully trust him, not when that voice had once been right.
Greyson waits for you as you clock in for your shift. He too has the deep under bags you sport. He hands you a cup of coffee. “Morning. It has oat milk, don't worry.” You take a sip, savouring the warmth of the liquid. “My saviour,” you grin at him. He shyly smiles back. “Us assistants should stick together, right?” You nod.
Greyson had already been at the hospital a year before you started but you had also been chosen to work as Zayne’s assistant. The man was easy to get along with but anytime you tried to work out the mystery of his age, he would find a way to brush you off but you’re not giving up anytime soon.
As you walk by the receptionist's desk, Yvonne waves you over. The kind nurse had quickly become a friend, especially when you discovered she was the one who sent Leo after you years ago. You stop when you recognise the figure by the desk. Tall with a slender figure, long brown hair with a fringe, fair skin and warm brown eyes, donned in that familiar hunter outfit.
It’s her.
She looks over you with a cheerful yet nervous smile and you give her a warm one back. You didn’t realise that the main story was already underway, you wonder when the two even met. “She’s just here for a check-up,” Yvonne passes you a tablet, her digital chart. You skim through it. “Dr Li is busy with an appointment, he gave permission for you to handle it.” “Okay, thanks Yvonne.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Dr [L. Name],” you reach a hand out and she eagerly returns your handshake. She introduces herself, her voice exactly like you had customised it. You gesture for her to follow you to a spare examination room. “Just take a seat on the bed,” you say and put on gloves.
“How have you been feeling lately? Any dizziness or nausea?”
She shakes her head.
“I see on your chart and by your clothes that you’re a hunter, has your disease ever gotten in the way?” you ask.
“No.”
She’s lucky. Protocore syndrome is no joke. All you knew from the game was that there was no cure and reading any articles or medical journals on it had produced no further knowledge. It’s a mystery to the people in game as it was to everyone else but if the main character can work as a hunter, backflipping as she fights, then for now she should be okay.
You really hope she gets her happy ending, with one of them or with all of them, hell even by herself because she’s sitting before you now and she looks so young. You think of her several lifetimes, dying or seeing the one she loves die and you feel so much for her.
For a game meant to be a dating sim, they could at least let their main character have a break.
The rest of the check-up goes well, there are no weird results but it doesn’t quell the worry in your heart. You wonder if this is how Zayne feels every time he sees her, does he feel relieved when she’s standing before him?
You can’t help the bitterness in you, she’ll never have to worry about their loyalty, their good, their love, not like you had. They’re designed for her, each of them an anomaly among other men even in their own world. You’ll never have that security. It’s why you don’t think you’ll ever love again. Why you feel like you’re not capable of it anymore.
After the check-up is over, a ping goes off from her phone, when she checks it you notice the familiar charm of a logo dangling from it. “Ah, is that Scattered Adolescents?” you ask innocently. You nearly jumped out of the chair at the speed in which she clasped her hands around yours. Her eyes are wide with joy as they bore right into yours. “I’ve never met anyone else that liked them.”
You laugh. “Are you kidding me? I adore them.”
The two of you blink at the other. “Did we…” she trails off.
“...just become friends? Yeah, I think we did,” you finish with a giggle.
When Zayne finally makes his way to the receptionist’s desk from his meeting, he’s greeted by the sight of you and her giggling. You wave her off as she walks away, a bright smile on your face that he hasn’t seen for months. Not since he left.
“I wasn’t expecting them to become friends so quickly, they seem so different at first glance,” Yvonne comments. He looks at her to show he’s listening but doesn’t respond. “But I’m glad [Name] seems happy, she’s been so down lately. We used to have a bet to see how long until her and Leo would get together but I guess that’s just not happening.” “I see,” he finally says, neither of them notice how his grip on the documents tighten just a little.
Noticing him, you walk up to the two with a smile. It’s not the same carefree one from before, this one is a polite one, like one a person has for a work colleague. A colleague who means nothing more.
“Good morning, Dr Li,” you greet him. He nods at you. Yvonne catches your attention. “Say [Name], are you ever gonna date? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you look at a person in interest.” Zayne doesn’t let it show but he’s just as curious for your answer. You let out an awkward chuckle but figure it’s best to squash questions like these now before they get worse.
“Love just isn’t as spectacular as people make it out to be.”
It’s a couple of weeks later when you see her again. This time she’s lying on a gurney being wheeled in, knocked out during a wanderer attack. Aside from suffering from a brutal concussion, some bruised ribs and claw mark imprints, the biggest issue is the large rod impaling her abdomen.
Greyson is the one selected to watch over during the surgery, as much as Zayne tries to hide it, you notice how he’d rather be the one present for it all but there are more at risk patients that need him.
It’s hours later that you receive the news that she’s okay, Zayne doesn’t even flinch and just nods but you see the slight tremble in his hands, just before he hides them in his pockets. “Shall we go check-up on her?” you ask him. “I-I know it might not be appropriate but I think seeing her might ease my mind.”
“We can.”
And even though you had pretended to be concerned to give him an out, the sight of her on the bed fills you with a sense of relief you didn’t think would happen. It’s her charm, managing to sneak her way into the very short list of people you cared for, when you had only met twice.
Zayne tries his best to keep it in but his eyes flutter as he tries to keep the tears at bay, you look around noting all the nurses and other staff at work. It would raise questions for him to be so involved with a patient, especially one meant for long-term, so you gently grip his white coat and lead him out the room. “Follow me.” You don’t know why he follows without a fuss but you lead through some corners and bends until you reach a storage room.
“No one really uses this, it’s a forgotten room. Knock on the door when you’d like to leave,” you inform him, closing the door and standing guard outside. It’s not that you particularly care but seeing him try so hard not to cry would tug on anyone’s heartstrings. A few minutes pass and you’re utterly grateful your pager doesn’t go off or that no one comes over to ask what you’re doing. You hear it then, a soft knock on the door.
He opens it himself, from the inside. Standing before you is the Zayne everyone sees at work, there’s no evidence of the dishevelled man you saw not even ten minutes ago. Neither of you say a word, you simply turn around and start walking, another pair of footsteps join you.
“Thank you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you give him a sly grin.
A scenario like that doesn’t occur in the months that pass after, she comes and goes, now having healed and back on her feet. You make sure to chastise her but you still present her with the plushie of her favourite member of the boyband as a thanks for putting her life on the risk. You will never admit how soft you felt at the bone crushing hug she gave you after. No, you’d sooner die.
It’s just…you can’t remember the last time you had been shown affection in such a way.
Lately, you can’t go two minutes without staff murmuring about the annual gala the hospital holds, the one night a year you can dress in extravagant clothing and mingle with rich people. The night is important for gathering donations for the hospital, so only a few people receive invites. As a mere intern, you along with others were not chosen but this year is different.
Despite your normal aversion to events like these, it feels like you’ve been spending every waking moment in this hospital, so a change of pace is welcome. Even if it’s just in another part of said hospital.
The red dress you buy comes with a price that no resident could pay but the hefty amount sitting prettily in your account helps. It’s a nice flowy dress with only the bodice being tight fitting, there’s a slit but what really got your attention was the choker in similar colour that it came with. It has a red flower with two ribbons that decorate your neck nicely. You can’t remember the last time you had ever dressed up like this. Your doctor’s coat nearly became a second skin.
The event is boring, the music is tasteless and the food even more so. You’re practically counting the seconds go by. None of the people present are remotely interesting so you can’t be blamed for slipping out.
The night sky is beautiful. It’s always been one of your favourite things. The swirls of purple in the black sky with hints of blue, the twinkling stars each different and all extraordinary and the moon. You could look at the moon for hours without looking away. You don’t know why but it’s always been your thing, just looking at it for small yet priceless moments of peace.
But peace never sticks with you for long.
“[Name]?”
Even after so many years, your body and mind remember the voice. They remember the promises of love it had spoken once, they remember the hurt it had hurled towards you. How little and alone it had made you feel. How it had lied so easily. You can’t help the tremble in your body as you slowly turn in its direction. You’re so ashamed of yourself for letting it affect you like this. After all your hard work all it took was one word to collapse everything you’ve built.
“It is you,” he breaths, looking mystified. He doesn’t get to look at you that way. His eyes move around your body taking you in with a look that disgusts you. He doesn’t get to look at you that way.
“What do you want?” It takes everything you have to keep a solid tone, empathetic of any emotion. Your face follows the same way, he doesn’t deserve anything from you. Especially your emotions.
“I just wanted to say hi.” He’s acting like you’re the one insane for being so vicious, like you have no reason to be. Your hand curls at your side. He’d sure look pretty with a large bruise on that face. That’s when your eyes drift to the woman by his side, she’s got her hand tightly clutched in his like you’re going to try and steal him. Her hand goes down to rub her stomach, by the size of it she should be about three months pregnant. She doesn’t meet your eyes, at least she has the decency to look ashamed.
He takes a step towards you. “You look…” he trails off.
“Better than I ever did by your side? Yeah, I do. It’s amazing what not having a cheating scumbag husband in your life can do for your complexion,” you bite. “You’ve said hi, now leave.”
“It’s been years and you still haven’t gotten over it?”
Red, hot white anger flashes through you but before you can open your mouth to fire back, you’re taken off guard by the feel of a warm coat over your shoulders. “There you are, honey. I’ve been looking all over for you,” a warm voice speaks through the silence.
Unlike the voice before, Zayne’s voice calms you down. It’s like a soothing and warm blanket in a room filled with bitter cold. Your hand reaches up the coat, tugging it over you properly. His hand sneaks its way around your waist, pulling you closer. His other hand makes its way to yours, covering it with a gentle squeeze, you didn’t realise it was still shaking.
“Should we head home?” he asks you. His eyes don’t leave yours, they don’t even glance the other way. “Please,” you whisper. He immediately turns you around so you don’t see them and you both start walking away. You don’t hear what Ha-yoon responds with and for that you’re glad.
Zayne leads you to his car. “I’ll drive you home.” The car ride is silent, you’re so plagued by your thoughts you don’t realise to ask how he knew where you live.
Ever the gentleman, he walks you to the entrance of your apartment building. “Will you be okay?” he gently asks. For a few seconds you just look at him. “Are you hungry, Dr Li?”
Your question is unexpected. You let out a small laugh at his face. It’s nice to laugh after all that. “Because I am. The food at the gala was horrible but I know a place not far from here that’s still open.”
He understands your unspoken question. “Let’s go then.”
The two of you receive many looks as you’re seated. You don’t blame them, you both stand out in your current attire.
The small restaurant has become a comfort place for you, it specializes in the local cuisine of your country, a reminder of what once had been home.
“I always find myself here when things get hard. When I had to take my first medical exams, after my first day at the hospital,” you explain as you both put away the plastic menus after ordering. “And now after your ex-husband appeared,” he finishes for you. You nod. “Yup.”
“You helped me out that day so I thought to return the favour,” he continued. “You don’t have to tell me anymore but I’m here if you do.”
You bring your hands to your lap, clutching them tightly against each other. “I…I think I need to just tell someone.”
He leans back in the chair, making himself comfortable. He gives you that slight smile, warmth flooding his eyes.
“We met when we were fifteen. He was everything I never was. Rich, popular and he had a sinful way with words. He could charm anyone and he did it to me. I was too young and foolish to realise his true intentions and face. That underneath it all he was just an insecure boy that couldn’t stand anyone better than him. He worked hard to chip away all the good things I had. We got married straight after we graduated. I completed my bachelor and confided my dream to go to medical school,” you start. Zayne doesn’t say a word, only watching.
“That’s when he started chaining me down. It was small things at first, ‘How can you be a doctor if you can’t even do this?’. But it was enough to stick with me and suddenly I’m a housewife who once had a dream.”
Your food arrives, you thank the waitress but neither of you make a move to eat. He’s still watching and you’re not finished.
“She was his childhood friend, who moved away when they were young. She comes back and suddenly he’s spending any free time with her. She became his first priority and I was a third wheel in my own marriage. He made me feel like I was crazy for even thinking something was wrong. Then I walk in on the two of them,” you can’t help the shakiness of your voice, your eyes brimming with unshed tears.
“I didn’t even realise that the pre-nup had a clause about cheating but only for me. He claimed that I was the one who had an affair with his bodyguard. My own mother stood under oath and lied that it was true, later I found that she was paid a lot of money.”
“He’s a dick.”
You let out the ugliest cackle at the way Zayne said those words. He says them through a straight face, voice monotone but his expression breaks at your laughter, chuckling along with you.
Things change after that. The biggest one you notice is how much he watches you, even when you catch him he’s not in a particular hurry to look away.
“Hey,” Yvonne pulls you aside one day. “There’s a Ha-yoon Choi here for a check-up. Says he’ll only do it if you’re the doctor.” She notices the slight way your eyes widen. “But I can tell him you’re busy and have no time, don’t worry. Should I involve security?”
“No. I’ll do it,” Zayne snatches the tablet from her hand before you can tell no. You didn’t even notice him walk up to you two.
You don’t even have the time to ask what happened as your responsibilities call you away. A hand roughly tightens its grip around your wrist just seconds before you get in your car. “Are you really dating that guy?”
You flick him off. “Yeah I am, what’s it to you?” He scoffs. “Seriously [Name]? He’s your superior, what were you thinking?”
“Are you kidding me,” you try to shove him. “Are you seriously trying to lecture me on appropriate relationships?”
Your voice picks up, gathering the attention of those littering in the car park. Your colleagues stop and watch the altercation. You can’t let him destroy your reputation so you try to get into your car and drive off but Ha-yoon’s never had you disobey him before.
“Have you not even considered the consequences of dating Dr Li,” he yells. You glance around, everyone else has heard him.
“Not here, Ha-yoon. Leave me alone,” you growl out before getting in the car and leaving.
But the damage is done.
Whispers and side eyes follow you everywhere you go. You’ve gone from a reputable doctor to a whore who seduced her superior for better surgeries and for special treatment. There’s no point in even denying the rumours, it doesn’t even matter that none of it is true. None of them blame Zayne, it’s all on you.
It’s been another two months since your altercation with your ex, and the whispers have yet to die down. You can’t even look at Zayne’s direction without hearing something about it.
You’re lying down in your bed, a little sanctuary you’ve made recently, with your phone in your hands. You stare at Leo’s contact, debating whether to bother him with your problems. He’s been silent for months, at first you chalked it up to a doctor’s hectic schedule but his socials show him enjoying time with new friends. You don’t want to call him since there’s a chance he’s working so you settle for a message.
[Name]:
Hey, can we talk?
Leo:
Not now.
I’m with my girlfriend.
[Name]:
Girlfriend?
When did that happen?
Leo:
When you started dating Dr Li.
[Name]:
I see.
Have fun.
The phone drops down next to you. For all his hefty claims of love and how he would wait, he couldn’t even think to hear it from your mouth first. From all the years he had known you, did it seriously never occur for him to realise how out of character it is for you to date your superior?
Or maybe he never really saw you, only the parts he wanted to notice. This is why you’re never falling in love, they’re all the same.
You cry yourself to sleep that night.
Ha-yoon hasn’t left you alone since the altercation, you have no idea how he managed to get your number but blocking him does nothing, he just messages from a new phone. You’re not even safe in your own home. Every night when you come home, there’s a package waiting for you. The items range from designer clothing to expensive jewellery, all of which you sell.
The police practically escort you off their premises when you try to lodge a complaint, they see you as someone delusional because why would a man belonging to a prominent family stalk you?
Even in the game they’re incompetent.
In an odd turn of events, the only one you can turn to for comfort has been Zayne himself. Like you said, things have been different between you two. You’re softer around him, he’s become something akin to a friend. He had apologised for the vitriol you’ve been receiving, blaming himself since but you had told him not to. It was neither of your faults.
You confided in him about Ha-yoon’s new stalkerish methods and the failure of the police, in turn he helped you install cameras in your home and told you to always record any conversations with him. “It would be extremely helpful for your case if you managed to get him to admit to it,” he had told you.
“Stalkers tend to escalate, especially when they’re not being received well. He already knows where you live, it won’t be long until he makes his way inside. I suggest leaving your home pin with someone you trust,” his ears had gone red when you informed him that person was him. You feel a little better knowing he’s looking out for you.
“Check your windows are locked,” Zayne’s soft voice commands through the phone.
You do as he says. It’s become a routine between you two, you call him before you go to sleep and he answers. Then, he goes through a checklist you came up with before you say goodnight. It’s the only way you can sleep these days. The only way you feel safe. And you have Zayne to thank for that.
“That’s everything, good-” your words are cut off by a sudden pounding on your front door.
“What’s that?” Zayne asks, concern laced in his voice.
“Someone’s at my door,” you respond.
“[Name], I know you’re in there!”
“Find a hiding spot, I’m calling the police,” you don’t register Zayne’s voice. You remain frozen. As a doctor one of the most important things is to never freeze yet here you are. Your breath picks up as fear runs rampant inside you, your skin covered in goosebumps whether from the cold or the uncertainty of your future, you have no idea.
Your mind screams dozens of sentences at you but all you can do is gasp for the air you’ve suddenly forgotten how to breathe. God, I’m so pathetic.
“[Name], listen to me. You need to hide, find a weapon and a safe spot,” Zayne’s voice finally makes it way through the buzzing accumulating in your ears. “I’m on my way, stay calm.”
All previous sentiments of finding your little apartment small and cozy are gone as you curse yourself for the lack of good hiding spots. All you have is under the bed or the closet. It feels like you’re going to puke your heart up as you find the biggest knife you have and hide in the closet.
Under the bed is the first place he would look, giving you time to sneak up behind him and catch him off guard.
“I’m coming in,” those three dreaded words are followed by the beeping as he inputs your code. There’s no time to wonder how he even knew it in the first place, your body quickly manoeuvring itself in your wardrobe, hiding yourself under the clothes.
“I’m going to stay quiet now,” in your frenzy you’d forgotten you were still on the phone. “Hurry,” you whimper. He doesn’t respond but something tells you he heard.
The air feels thick as you hear the creak of your front door open. For a second you wonder if he can hear the thundering of your heart in the chilling silence. Your ears pick up every footstep, the creak of the floorboards with it, tears run down your face and you force your hand tight against your mouth to block off any whimpers. You don’t even breathe.
It’s when the footsteps go silent that you worry but you don’t get to linger on that worry for long as the closet door is yanked open. A hand wraps itself around your wrist with such a strong grip it feels like your shoulder might dislocate. Another hand grabs the knife and tosses it across the room before you can even react. Your body is thrown on the floor so roughly that your head bangs hard against the floor.
You’re not sure how long you’re out but judging by the current situation, it wasn’t more than a few seconds. But the view around you is blurry and tilting as you can’t concentrate, you can barely hear the words out of his mouth. Ha-yoon hovers above you with a crazed expression, he brings his face closer to you, an action that only has you sob.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he coos, caressing your face. You try to move your head away but the throbbing in the back of your head has you disorientated. “This is why you should’ve just listened to me, [Name],” he chastises. “We could’ve avoided all this,” he brings his hands down to your pyjama shirt, lingering around the buttons.
“I have to remind you who you belong to,” he pops one. “Doesn’t matter if we’re still together or not, you don’t get to move on,” another one opens. You don’t even realise your sobs getting louder until he presses his hand against your mouth. “Shut up and just take it,” he slams your head down again.
Maybe that’s what snaps you out of it, maybe it’s the anger his audacity brings or maybe your brain registers that you’re not going to be conscious for long but with newfound strength you bring your legs up and kick right at his chest with a sudden rush of adrenaline. Even in that state, you aim right for where his heart is.
The last thing your eyes see before they close is the bastard hunched over the floor, clutching desperately at his chest and gasping for air. It’s a beautiful sight. One that you painted.
You awake to the sound of similar beeping of hospital machines. You don’t register anything, only the memories of what happened before you passed out, your body moves itself up in a panic to get away. The sudden move only has you clutch your head in pain as it throbs, your eyes sting with tears. A warm hand rests on your shoulder, guiding you back on the bed.
Yvonne tries to smile at you but her eyes brim with tears. “Don’t move, you’re just going to agitate it even more. I’ll get you some painkillers later, okay?”
You try to nod but even that brings pain. “You’re safe, he’s not here,” she holds your hands in hers. “I’ll get the doctor on schedule,” she tries to leave but you stop her. “What happened,” your voice comes out croaky, Yvonne moves to hand you a glass of water.
She tells you everything. It’s not the first time you’ve woken up, you had been conscious when help had arrived at the scene, but you were so out of it, you still don’t remember. It’s a good thing, if you had been out for longer than a few minutes it would’ve indicated severe head trauma. You don’t even want to imagine what that could’ve entailed.
You were given a sedative by the paramedics since you had been in too much pain hence why you’re waking up now, only a few hours later. They placed you in a private room, all paid for by the hospital. A CT scan had been done while you were out, showing no major concerns but you’ll be monitored for a while just in case. You don’t need to feel it but the affected area on your head has massive bruising and swelling which is why it hurts so much.
You want to tell her that this wasn’t what you wanted to know, that you needed answers about what happened with Ha-yoon but the room keeps spinning and it hurts to keep your eyes open. “Sleep, I’ll be here,” Yvonne gently says as you doze off.
The next time you wake up, Zayne is in the room with you. He’s sitting on the chair by your side, dressed in normal attire and reading a book. His attention is instantly on you when you groan, he’s by your side faster than you can realise. The soft behaviour usually distributed to his patients is now presented to you. He asks a bunch of questions while looking over your vitals. He masks it well but you can see his concern shining through. It’s oddly comforting.
You open your mouth to ask but he cuts you off. “I know you’re curious but you’re in no state to process anything. I’ll answer everything when you’re doing better, okay?” You just nod, you can tell by his tone that there’s no convincing him.
She visits you too, plopping a plushie on your favourite member from the group. “Thought I’d return the favour,” she gave you a strained smile and her hold on your hand lingered for a long time before her duties called her away. She leaves her warmth behind.
Everyday, the staff fight off the police officers that drop by, all of them advocating that you’re not okay to answer their questions, something you’re grateful for. You’re in no shape to be scrutinized and judged.
Zayne concludes that you’re ready for the whole story one afternoon when you finally walk in a straight line before him. He does more tests to be safe, seeing how well your arms and legs hold up against his grip and whether it’s still difficult to move your head around. You get through it all with no issue.
“I got there seconds after you passed out, he was on the floor beside you so I froze his hands together,” he said like it wasn’t a big deal. “He deserved it,” Zayne countered. “It’s not him I’m worried about, what if it landed you in trouble?”
Your question has his posture relaxed a little. “You should be more worried about yourself,” he flicks you on the head, smiling when you glare in offence. “The police were right behind me, he tried to claim I just attacked out of nowhere but we had all the evidence from the cameras in your apartment. It showed everything, him breaking in and assaulting you. I gave them a witness testimony since I was on the phone with you.”
Your lips tremble as you try not to imagine what would've happened had Zayne never been on the phone with you. How can you even begin to pay him back?
Before you can thank him, your heads snap towards the door sliding open. Yvonne steps through, flashing you a guilty look. “I tried to stop them but they’re no longer taking no for an answer. Said they’ll drop the case without your testimony,” she whispers something else, you can’t be sure but you think she was cursing them out.
“It’s okay, I’ll talk to them,” you respond before turning to Zayne. “Can you stay?”
“Of course.”
To your terrible luck, one of the police officers is the same one that hadn’t taken your complaint seriously. You can’t hide the displeasure or anger, you’re lucky to be still here, had they done their job none of this would’ve happened.
The police fill in the gaps that Zayne didn’t get to, Ha-yoon’s facing charges of assault and attempted rape. With your phone call with Zayne, his testimony to the whole thing, the video evidence and Ha-yoon admitting everything on it, it should stick. They leave after hours of questioning, putting you under a microscope and dissecting every part of you. It leaves you in desperate need of a shower to wash it all off.
The warm rays of the sun offer no solace as you look out the window. Mindlessly, your hands trace over your skin. The media has already picked up the story, your face and name has long been released to the public. One look through your socials confirmed you’ve been thrown to the wolves. People are accusing you of trying to break up a loving family, they’re saying you’re trying to get money out of him, the normal vitriol a victim faces but it gets to you.
The only good thing about this whole thing is that the entire hospital now knows that you and Zayne never dated, that it was a ruse in an attempt to keep Ha-yoon away.
Two days later, you’re only a day away from being discharged when there’s a knock on your door. It means the person on the other end is not anyone that’s visited you so far. You tell them to enter. Leo walks in, a sheepish smile adorning his face, he’s doing the same habit of his, fiddling with his hands. Something he does when he’s nervous.
“Can I sit,” he gestures to the chair, growing more nervous when your face remains impassive. You nod.
“I’m sorry,” he starts. “I should’ve been here, you were trying to tell me before, weren’t you?” You look away from the guilt shining on his face. It makes you waver and you can’t let that happen. “Yeah, I was.”
You don’t see him move from the chair, only noticing when he settles on your bed with you. “I came as soon as I heard. Are you okay?” He tries to caress your face but you move it out the way. His face drops but he honours your request. “I am, you can leave now.”
“Wait,” he lurches forward and grasps your hands together, not caring that he’s crossed your boundary. “Why didn’t you tell me your relationship with Dr Li was fake?” You give him a baffled look. “Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re more concerned about?” you’re practically yelling, all the pent up emotion from the last week finally making its way out. Some part of you feels bad, no matter how selfish he’s being, Leo doesn’t deserve the brunt of all your feelings but the other…the other is happy for a release.
“You couldn’t even be bothered to ask if it was true in the first place, you don’t get to come back and ask for apologies. Get out, I never want to see you again,” by now your voice captures the attention of those outside. Zayne himself enters, confused at first before comprehending the situation. Your current state has him by your side, only the feel of his hands on you calms you down. The nurses usher Leo out of the room and you don’t even spare him a second glance, your attention is on Zayne. You see it then, a quick flash in his eyes. A glint of something.
Almost like satisfaction.
You’ve always had his attention.
Even when he had yet to meet you.
All it took was a meeting with an old friend who passed on your unfinished thesis. He read all twenty pages in one day, your words had him in a trance and he wanted to meet the person with such a fascinating mind.
He cheated by looking at your socials. You didn’t have much of an online presence nor did you post often, none of the photos you posted had your picture in them, all he could settle on was your profile picture. A simple photo of you bundled up under covers, smiling softly at the camera. He didn’t know then why he saved it, or why he found himself looking at it from time to time.
It’s when he sees you for the first time in that lecture room that he makes sense of it. You notice him too, not just because he’s the guest lecturer, but because you know him or maybe he’s just being deluded. He doesn’t affect you in the same way, he wished it didn’t hurt or that he was used to it or even that it was the first time. He allows himself one look at you, you stare at him mystified and it leaves him smug. He’s not above feeling in such a way, you might not look at him in the same way but he’ll take this. He’ll make it enough.
But he didn’t realise that there would be a time where it won’t be enough.
The first time he spoke to you didn’t go in the way he wanted, he was glad none of the coffee burnt you but a sick part of him was glad, you won’t forget him so easily with a first meeting like this. He makes an off hand comment about you joining him at Akso and he knows he has you with the way you light up at his praise.
A whole year goes by without seeing you and he’s never been so restless.
It’s funny, he went years not seeing her, meeting her again by chance and yet he’s barely holding it together now. Looking back, he should’ve realised sooner his infatuation with you, he’s better than that. Perhaps he just didn’t want to admit it.
Loving her had been a constant throughout his entire life, he knew her since they were kids, he knew her. Well enough to know she’d never feel the same way for him but that was okay with him. As long as she remained by his side, he’d have her in any capacity, as a patient or a friend. Maybe that’s why he didn’t see you, you weren’t familiar, what you were was unknown. He should’ve realised that the unknown was what he specialized in, that sooner or later he would want to discover you.
Maybe he could’ve warned himself then, to keep his distance through all the years he’s known you because it’s too late now. There’s only one role you can have is by his side. And it’s not as a friend or a colleague.
He makes sure not to give anything away when you start at the hospital, not even his voice betrays the fact that he’d been keeping an eye on you. Zayne expected you to cry when he yelled at you, he’s not proud of it but he’s raised his voice on several occasions when patients' lives are put at risk by the very people meant to help them and in each occasion they cry but you take it. You don’t flinch, your eyes meet his and all he sees is regret.
You have two special areas in the hospital, one of them is a corner far away where you go to cry. He hears you cry for the little girl, apologising to her in the silence. You’ll make a good doctor.
Two years pass by, you’ve decided to specialise in cardiology with him. A lot has changed in these two years and a lot hasn’t. He’s become somewhat of a mentor to you, you’re not afraid to seek him out and ask for help. Zayne doesn’t think you even realise that the other residents have also started doing the same. He’s not sure why they’re all so afraid of him, all he wants is for them to succeed and he’s thankful you helped them see that in your own way.
You part ways with your friend, Leo. Zayne shouldn’t be happy about it, it clearly affects you. He shouldn’t be happy. He shouldn’t.
But he is.
The first time he saw you together with her, he couldn’t help but compare you two. Yvonne was right, the two of you couldn’t be any different. She was younger or brighter in a sense. It showed in the kindness she held for everyone, her openness pulling in everyone. You were older and not dull but…silent. It was your silence that captured attention, made you a mystery in a way. Which is why you seemed to shine in those little moments where you held warmth for others around you, you were loyal to a fault. Even the way you both laugh are polar opposites, she laughs loud and with force, folding over and holding her stomach or lightly hitting someone around her. You laugh quietly with your hand over your mouth, politely but also a way to restrain yourself.
Zayne still doesn’t realise until he’s in that room and she’s hooked to several machines, unconscious and unable to respond and you’re pulling him to your second comfort area in the hospital. The storage closet you kept a secret from everyone, yet were willing to share it with him. He’s inside the room, the slight crack through the door allows him to see your feet and all he can do is lightly trace where your figure must be on the door. He’s flushed bright red and you have no idea what the mess you’ve made him.
One hand remains on the door, where he hopes your heart might be, and the other rubs quickly on his shaft. He’s holding his shirt in his teeth so that no moans slip out as vile images of you play in his mind. What would you think if he was to pull you in this room and show you the sight of your superior needy and wanton all for you? It’s the imagination of you on your knees that does him in, cum spraying all over his hand.
He’s tainted your room with him.
And you have no idea.
Claiming to be your partner in front of that buffoon that threw you away was done without thinking. Protecting you became second nature and it was what gave him an in. He brushed aside the rage directed at your ex because in truth he was a little grateful to the man. Ha-yoon had ruined you for any other men but Zayne would fix you just for himself.
Because you don’t love him, not now and certainly not after his plan is put in motion. He can’t handle it, he was fine with her not returning his feelings but you’re not allowed to. You don’t love him but he can make you think you do and by the time you realise, it’ll be too late.
He’ll start with Ha-yoon.
“No, I’ll do it,” the idiot had no idea how predictable he truly was. Zayne saw the way man looked at you at the gala, Ha-yoon saw you as property and discarded or not, the moron still saw you as his.
He tries not to delight in the way Ha-yoon’s face drops when Zayne steps through the door but it must show on his face as the other man glares. “Where’s [Name]?”
“She’s busy.”
Too busy for you.
“What brings you here today, Mr Choi?”
“Cut the crap, we both know why I’m here,” Ha-yoon snaps. “I want her back.”
“And you thought harassing her at her work was the way to do it,” Zayne raises an eyebrow, he has a unique way of making anyone feel inferior and the way Ha-yoon shrinks, it’s currently working. “I saw your wife, in what world did you think [Name] would enter a relationship with a man willing to leave his pregnant wife? Do you even know her?”
“I miss her. I never realised how much she did for me until she was gone. She knew me inside and out, how I like my coffee, or how my suit should be ironed and all the things I like. I love her and she loved me once, she can do it again.”
Zayne lets out a cold laugh, the other man involuntarily shivers as the temperature in the room drops. “You claim to love her when all the reasons listed are just the labour she did for you. What you should’ve said is that you miss how she throws her head just a little when she laughs, how mesmerising her smile is that imprints itself into your mind or how no matter how hard you try, her scent will always linger,” he walks closer to the man. Zayne is taller, he’s just…better than this scumbag in every way. “Face it, you left her penniless and broken and it backfired. She fixed herself better than you ever thought possible, she’s too good for you. You knew that from the moment you met her, that’s why you worked so hard to make her into something she’s not.”
With that he walks away and opens the door, looking back at the man. “We’re done here. Show up again and I’ll call security.”
He’s an idiot, Zayne thinks for the tenth time that day as he watches Ha-yoon confront you from the safety of his office. The man had done exactly what Zayne wanted. Ha-yoon’s ego and pride were too big to sustain being damaged, so he would gladly ruin you in response.
And Zayne will be there to comfort you every step of the way.
Zayne likes to see himself as the lesser evil of the two. He’s not so deluded to think himself as a knight in shining armour, no he knows exactly what he is. But that’s the issue with knights in shining armour, they save everyone, they’re willing to sacrifice the one they love for the world. You don’t need that, you need someone who’ll always love you first.
You think no one else realises, Zayne thinks you might not see it yourself, but you’re starved for attention. He noticed the way you lean into hugs, you never initiate affection but you’re always the last one to let go.
It makes him laugh how much Ha-yoon doesn’t see his actions only push you closer to Zayne. He now has access to the cameras installed in your house, he knows your code, the password to your phone just in case, Zayne’s become your safety. Just the way he wanted.
In a twist even he didn’t see coming, Leo takes himself out of the equation and you try to keep in how you’re grieving the loss of friendship but you fold with some soft prodding, right into his arms once again.
The only thing he’s sorry for, the only thing he regrets is how Zayne failed to see that Ha-yoon was pushed too far. His heart dropped when he heard the man banging on your door, his panic and worry were all real as he raced to your apartment. Zayne would’ve killed him, he should have killed him but the police were right behind so he shifted his attention to you. The guilt that manifests upon seeing your state crumpled on the floor, reduced once again to that once small figure Ha-yoon had made of you, Zayne thinks for the first time he might’ve taken things too far.
But the regret doesn’t last long. You don’t leave him alone after. Your hold on his wrist tightens whenever he informs you that he needs to leave, you text him first and you call even more. You need him more than ever and he’s drunk off the feeling.
So, he leaks the story to the press. All he has to do is sit back and watch as your face and name get released. As your address becomes public knowledge and you have nowhere to go. He slyly offers up his guest bedroom before anyone else can.
It’s torture sleeping in the room next to yours, knowing you’re right there but he can’t do anything. He settles on reading a book to pass the time. Except he never realised how unpredictable you can be when his bedroom door opens and you walk in. You don’t say a word as you crawl on his bed and sit right on his lap.
You bring your head closer to his, close enough for your hair to fall on his face. “Do you like me, Dr Li?” you whisper. “Yes,” he confirms, keeping eye contact with you. His eyes fall on your lips, which curl up into a smirk as you notice. “You have no idea how much,” he whispers back, his gaze falling back into your eyes letting you see his devotion.
You bring your lips closer, almost about to kiss him but he blocks it by lightly touching your mouth with his palm. You look at him in confusion but he’s not budging. Because you’re testing him, to see if he’s like the other men in your life. He’s not so disillusioned to think otherwise. But he is cruel enough to make you believe otherwise.
“I didn’t bring you here for this,” his hand moves and his thumb traces over your top lip. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
Seeing that he’s not going to give you what you want, you make the first move. Your hand clutches the hand near your mouth, bringing it in and pressing a kiss in the middle of his palm. You hear his breath hitch when you do. “I think I like you, Zayne,” you smile teasingly and gently roll your hips right against his, eliciting a small groan from him. “What if I want you to take advantage?”
His hands settle on the side of your hips, stopping you in place. “You little minx,” he growls. He’s quick to shove you over, nudging your legs to open with his thighs. “You don’t get to take it back,” he whispers against your lips.
He has you now.
Your hands scramble for purchase on the desk but each move only has the man pound harder into you from behind.
The fast movement from his hips leaves you mindless and draped over his desk, your body pliant for his bidding. You bite your lips hard to prevent any sound from leaking, to the displeasure of the man currently bringing you, well…pleasure.
“Zayne,” he says, making you look at him in confusion. “That’s the name of the man making you feel like this,” he brings his mouth to your ear. “Say it, moan it or scream it. Pick one,” his movement stills, pulling a whine out of you.
He’s not going to continue until you adhere, so you give in. “Please Z-zayne,” you tug at his shirt. “Faster,” you whine. He moves his entire body on top of yours, kissing your cheek and nuzzling into your neck. “Good girl,” he praises, smirking as you tighten around him in response.
You let out a moan as he gives you what you want, the desk moving with each hard thrust. The new angle allows him to piston even deeper into you, drawing loud moans from you both. It thrills him that you’re so lost in the pleasure that you don’t even care who hears, it could end your career but you’re too busy moaning like a slut to realise. You’re lucky his office is sound-proof but where's the fun in telling you that?
You can feel the pressure building inside you, you’re close and judging from how his speed picks up as his movements get sloppy, so is he. A sudden thrust has him landing even deeper and it’s your undoing as you cum around his cock with a grunt he cums too. He holds you on his desk for a few minutes, both of you just taking the time to breathe and come down from the high.
His hand comes up to your chin and pulls it to him, bringing you into a kiss. It’s been a few months since you started dating and not a day has gone by where he hasn’t had his way with you. The man is insatiable, needy even when he’s so tired he can’t even move. With how much he’s come inside you, you’re wondering if your birth control can even put up a fight anymore.
You don’t know that he replaced your pills months ago.
He’s always seen himself having kids after marriage but you would never agree to either so quickly so he’ll have to make you.
A year later you stand before the mirror, examining the ring on your finger and the round bump housing something in your stomach.
This was what you wanted.
Right?
AN: Scattered Adolescents = Stray Kids. I just had to, I found it so funny.
And yes, I included exactly how I lost my 50/50 to Caleb, I don’t care that it's been over a week, I’m still salty.
I felt like out of all of them, Zayne would be the one to be subtle rather than forceful so I hope I did it justice. I thought it would be funny to start with reader judging her other self for falling victim to manipulation and then end up in the same position.
Currently watching Lost in space and why is the robot sexy? Guys, why did they make the robot hot? I yearn for the metal.
Happy Juneleb guys! May you all get the birthday card x4 in one pull.
Tag list: @zeverean @quill-for-glory @smittenlynn @nm4565natty @miuangel @noxus123
Hi! Since you're discontinuing "apartment 8," I was wondering if you would ever give the authorship of the fic for someone else to continue if they want to? Thank you and take care 🫶
I thought I would be okay with it but I'm thinking of revamping it, I have another idea with a similar setting but the synopsis won't be the same. So, I don't think I am going to, people are more than welcome to write similar fics, it's not like I own the idea but not the story itself.
My series Apartment 08 is being discontinued. I just don't have the energy to start it. I'm still keeping the page up but it's no longer on my masterlist. If anyone would like to take over, I wouldn't mind but I'm not going to start it. Sorry, I just don't have the time and the creativity to finish it.
AN: Still feeling the effects from my concussion but I'm doing much better than before. I can't write anything linear but I have so many scenarios for each love interest that I've been writing snippets before I forget about them and thought I'd share one for each. Order of release will depend on which one I finish but I'm trying for that to be Zayne's.
As always, the following works have themes of obsession, murder, angst, abuse and more. Do not interact if these bother you. Even if some may not seem like it, all the versions are going to be dark. There are no happy endings here, for you that is, the love interests will get theirs.
Disclaimer: This is not what I think of the love interests at all, even as yanderes. It's all just indulgence.
Zayne x Doctor!Reader
You wait for the butterflies but you feel…nothing. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man but your heart doesn’t race, you don’t sweat and you don’t even feel nervous when his gaze meets yours in the crowd.
Did his eyes linger or are you just being delusional?
He goes back to the lecture, not looking at you again.
Yup, delusional.
You don’t have time to be disappointed in your lack of feelings as you get swept up in his lecture. He’s a genius, the way he weaves his words and presents them have you hanging off the edge of your seat. His findings are revolutionary. This is the man you want to work under, the one you want as a mentor. He’s the only one capable of sending you to great heights.
If only you realised the opposite of that is also true.
Rafayel x Opera Singer!Reader
Siren:
You’re welcome!
Enjoy your time with her ;)
My services as a wingwoman don’t come cheap, Mr Rafayel!
He lets out a laugh. There’s a serene smile on his face as he texts back.
Rafayel:
but I dun remember hiring you?
i see
this is how the great Siren makes her money
Siren:
Well, now I have to kill you.
Can’t have you telling my secrets.
Shame.
I quite liked you.
He’s about to respond when his attention gets diverted by a hand waving in his face. “Earth to Rafayel!” his bride smiles at him. “I’ve been calling your name for a while. What’s got you so distracted?” Her question leaves him speechless. In what world did he subconsciously ignore her like that? At the dumbfounded look on his face, the woman before him smiles even larger. “Were you texting [Name]? It was her, wasn’t it?” Why does she look so giddy?
“What makes you think it was her?”
She rolls her eyes, like he should already know the answer. Unfortunately, he’s very out of the loop.
“Because only she makes you smile like that, duh.” She lets out a giggle at the astonishment shining on his face. “You seriously didn’t notice? You get all relaxed and dopey when she’s around. Like a puppy!”
Her voice fades into the background as she rambles on, all of it about examples of the behaviour he’s been exhibiting around you. It’s all too much. Too much for him to deal with.
Because she’s right. About all of it.
He examines every single moment with you in his mind, analysing them all under a microscope. Why didn’t he realise it sooner?
Bile rests in his throat as he looks at the woman in front of him. She’s still talking, unaware of the turmoil she’s left him in. Even though she holds no affection for him in this life, even though she’s happy to picture him with someone else, he’s not. Guilt has always been a companion, always lingering in the background but right now it’s front and centre. Shame washes through him, he’s betrayed the woman he loves (loved?).
Sylus x Waitress(?) Reader
*Still not sure what role I want reader to have, at first I was considering her being a waitress at Elysium but then I also wanted her to have her own restaurant in Linkon. Let me know what you would like
“I don’t know what more you want from me,” each word becomes more difficult to say than the last. The blockage in your throat from the tears prevents any more.
You’re so tired of this. Why should you keep being punished for something you never had fault in?
The bruises around your neck throb in reminder of what he’s capable of. A sick part of you wishes he finished the job instead of torturing you like this.
“I never sought you out, Sylus. I kept my distance. I-I was more than happy to see you live your life,” you plead with the man in front of you. “You’re the one that kept coming back. Just leave me alone, what more do I have to do?”
His hand clenched into a fist at the sight of the crying woman in front of him. Each whimper from her mouth strikes him in the heart. His eyes fall on the shades of green and blue decorating her neck.
There are two parts of him fighting for control. The saner one which felt shame at the hurt he inflicted upon her and the other one that felt delight at marking what’s his. Until those bruises heal, every day she has to live with him in mind, never escaping him.
He doesn’t want to admit which side won.
She yelps in fright when he lurches forward and grasps her wrist, she flinches as their eyes meet, leaving a sick feeling inside him. It’s too late to make it all better. She’ll never forgive him and she’s right to do so, he’ll go lower.
“Be mine,” he growls, pulling her closer into his chest, his head lowered to speak into her ear. “That’ll be your punishment. For the rest of your wretched life, you’ll be spending it with me.”
MC (Mara) x Professor! Reader
You don’t hesitate to race toward the crying child. You tackle him to the floor, your entire body covering him. When the nails connect with your back, a flash of white hits you. When you come back to the present, there’s a loud shriek penetrating the air. It takes a second to realise it’s from you.
Biting your lip to keep it in, you pick yourself and the child up and you run. But you can feel the blood escaping out of you, your vision becomes blurry and the screams of and roars around you dilute due to the ringing in your ears. You’re not going to make it, you’re not fast enough but you can still save the child. With a painful grunt, you push the child and scream at him to run. He does.
You don’t have time to process anything when you’re roughly pushed back onto the floor. Your head hits the floor with a loud thud. The wanderer looms over you, you stare at your executioner right back in the eye. It only agitates it even more.
With a roar, it plunges its claw into your abdomen.
You don’t really know what happens after that. Each time you blink, the image before you changes. The wanderer looks back at something and charges at it. Then, there’s nothing in front of you. When you open your eyes again, there’s a human face above you. You can’t make out any details but you think they’re trying to speak to you.
“Professor…?”
A warm hand cradles your face and you realise just how cold you’ve become, you push your head in further desperate for heat. They seem to be shaking you but your eyes don’t open back up the next time you blink.
“No, no, no,” she pleads. “Professor, you have to keep your eyes open,” she grips your shoulders tight, shaking you. It does nothing. Mara cradles your limp body in her arms. “Why are you so pale, [Name]?”
[Name].
Why aren’t you breathing?
Xavier x Vice Captain!Reader
The boy before you seems to be sulking about something.
You examine him carefully, i-is he pouting?!?
“What’s with you, Xavier?”
He’s quiet for a while, blinking those big blue eyes at you, resembling a kicked puppy. Fuck, he’s cute.
“Why do you do it for everyone else but not me?” Now, it feels like you kicked this puppy yourself. Damn, he’s really good at playing with people.
“Do what?”
His hand cups yours and brings it up to his head, maneuvering your palm up and down his head. “You give them all headpats so easily but no matter how well I do, I’ve never received one. Why is that?”
He doesn’t put your hand back down instead he keeps it in his, rubbing gently on the skin there.
“Oh? Sorry, Xavier. I never realised. I’ll do it from now on.”
His eyes narrow and you gulp. You might be his superior but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s much older and stronger than you’ll ever be. The safety of that fact is only for the MC, it’ll never be for you. Standing before you is a man who could end your life in mere seconds, most of which would be spent wiping the blood off his blade.
“But the intent would be different, it wouldn’t be earned,” he flips your hand over, finger gently tracing over the lines on your palm but you’d be a fool not to notice the grip he has on you. “And it doesn’t change the fact that you handed it out so easily to others, many of them didn’t even deserve it.”
I'm on pain medication while I type this so I'm pretty out of it.
The ao3 curse got me, first it was a bee stinging me in the comfort of my own home at 9pm not even thirty minutes after I wrote the first chapter for this and then a bunch of other stuff and lately in my chaotic life, I suffered from a really bad fall and hit my head on the table on the way down. Sounds worse than it actually it lol I'm just suffering from a concussion and am currently in the hospital bored as hell.
I'm fine, I've been thoroughly checked over. Love my doctor and nurses all of them were so nice, tho unfortunately I accidently flashed my really cute nurse and traumatised him.
Woah I'm rambling, point is next update will happen in two weeks or more. Depends when I stop being so loopy, it's hard even keeping my head up. No one tells you of the neck pain that comes with a concussion. Idk why but for some reason I'm really worried about my grammar as I type this.
Random crackhead in the hospital parking lot said I had a nice ass so at least something good came out of this.
Okay, I'm gonna sleep now and probably regret typing this in the morning so be nice.
*Also I'm too lazy and am gonna copy and paste this into tumblr
I'm currently writing Zayne's version but for some reason I'm not satisfied with the way I left Caleb's. Even though it's already over 14K words I feel like I can add more, little tidbits of reader and her dead husband for example to make it even more sad.
Which got me thinking if you guys wanted a part two for all of them. Part one can focus on how they make you theirs and part two will be a few months or years into the relationship with them. Might even include some dubcon moments but is that too far? (But if you thought Caleb's was bad, the others are worse)