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LARA CROFT | The Tomb Raider Reboot Trilogy

nemorialex‌:

There’s probably biological reasons for plants to rebel against getting cut- you would certainly rebel if your arm was cut, and you have!- but you don’t know specifics. You just know that some plants are a tad more sentient than others, and moreso than some people expect. Plus, with Jake mentioning biting plants it reminded you of a different conversation–

Naturally, you snap to attention at Ghostie speaking up. He’d been quiet this whole time, and he mentions the pumpkins as if it were the most obvious solution. You’d get angry if you didn’t know that’s how he addressed most things: with the most anger and ‘no duh’ attitude he could muster. Plus, you’re too busy smiling at the idea.

“What, you mean carving a pumpkin? Like a Jack-o-lantern?” After all, just setting one in a slightly different location than it was before wouldn’t do much, and you were just talking about cutting other vegetation. The idea was kind of cute!

Ghostie subsides back into bitter, tumultuous silence, like it’s a real bummer to him that Alex liked his idea. What a little crackup he is.

But you have a couple holes to poke in the idea. For one, pumpkins are plentiful out here, but they don’t fare too well inside the temple. You don’t feel up to wandering about, harvesting pumpkins and filling up your sylladex like some kind of gourd-obsessed fruitcake. And... you frown.

”Hold your horses. Carve them? I don’t lug a complement of chef’s knives around with my weaponry, thank you very much please. Who has time to sit around and carve up a friggin visage in a piece of fruit when adventure calls!”

nemorialex‌:

You light up when he mentions an alter, and then settle down again when he says he isn’t sure that there is one. But “stone plinth in the middle” is certainly interesting, especially if he didn’t mention seeing anyone on it… But Jake continues and you make a note to question him about that particular room later.

Hearing Ghostie scoff, you look back to give him your own disapproving look.

“It may be a building, but if you just made this mark,” You point at the missing X, “and now it’s vanished, then clearly something’s going on, isn’t it? Especially if it happens time and time again. So it’s either the building or the owner of this building who wants to remain secretive.”

You pull your bag forward and rummage inside. You have a pretty good idea of the things you packed- among which are NOT offering-building supplies- but it doesn’t hurt to double check. There’s food and supplies and a spare change of clothes, but you’re not keen on ripping clothes up and leaving them around, especially if they end up vanishing like the pen mark.

“I’m not sure I have anything to leave behind either. The second best idea, aside from not leaving anything, is to maybe cut up the vines nearby or something, so a clean doorway is one we’ve walked through.”

“Ah, clearing the entrance is certainly an... idea.” You watch them rifle through their satchel. What an idea—carrying things around on one’s back! Don’t they have a sylladex?

“These vines in particular don’t enjoy being manhandled though. You’d think they were sentient the way they behave. It’s perplexing to me honestly, but I’ve learned my lesson about making them cross. Last time I tried to break one I wound up with big fibrous fangs in me. Long story. But I think it’s best to leave them be—”

“Why don’t you just use the fucking pumpkins??” Ghostie blurts out. As the attention turns to him, he shrinks and scowls at the both of you. “Well, there’s like, a million of them!”

You turn to consider the plentiful gourds. Well, they don’t appear carnivorous.

nemorialex‌:

You wouldn’t exactly say it’s ‘no problem’ for you to make a map, since picking landmarks was sometimes tricky, but at least you got the distances in paths fairly accurate. At least you think so.

Jake talks about ‘the usual stuff’ as if exploding tiles was a common occurrence. Which, you guess it probably is in this place? But hidden pits would mean a weak floor structure to look out for, and hidden crossbows would probably leave little holes for the arrow to find it’s intruding target, and those holes might be a little less natural than simple erosion or wear and tare. At least that’s your assumption.

By this point your journal is already out, and you’re jotting notes down as he says them along with these theories you’re cooking up. On the next page you make a small circle for the main doorway where you started and make a couple of sketchy lines to the lower right to show the direction you’re headed. Perhaps this temple- or it’s inhabitant- doesn’t want to be mapped out, but you’d at least like to give it a try!

You stop right at his side and squint up at the mark, reaching up to very gently rub at a corner of the X and see the illusion for yourself. It’s not covered with dust, at least. You hum in thought.

“Well, if it doesn’t like pens, do you have something else? So it’s less vandalism and more… An offering… of sorts?” You end with a shrug, unsure if that’s the best word to use.

You eye them, wondering how in tarnation they could walk and take down notes at the same time. It must take a hell of a lot of practice. Their start of a map is similar to your dismal attempts, but much neater.

They stop abruptly and Ghostie, who’s glued to his phone and appears to be bored out of his skull by the conversation, nearly bumps into them.

“Well I don’t have any candles to light at the altar, if that’s what you’re implying. I don’t even think there’s an altar. Just this blasted behemoth of a stone plinth in the center.” At least, you think it’s the center. Since you keep stumbling across it no matter which way you turn. You peer through the doorway. Just as you’d suspected, the landscape inside is nothing like the one you left behind. “I’ve got nary an asset for making an offering but the rags off my back. Isn’t it awfully goofy of us to pretend the place knows what we’re doing? It is a building.”

Ghostie scoffs, like that’s the first thing you’ve said that he agrees with.

so tempted to reply to this in character

#ooc #he would do it. to be nice

nemorialex‌:

“Something to that effect!” You agree as he looks around. Ghostie swats your hand off and you look at him- or rather your hand- in surprise for a second.

Even as Jake warns you of the dangers, your excitement only mounts, and you’re quick to keep up as he forges his way ahead once more. You only slow to study certain divots and cracks, picturing what it must look in it’s heyday. Or perhaps, what it is soon to be, if this is another God temple like you assume.

“I’m not sure how much of a mapsmith I am, but I could try to help a bit if you’d like? I sometimes chart paths in the woods at least, but usually with a physical guide like stars…” You say the last sentence quieter, as the thought arrives in your head. This time when you look around the walls seem a little more… Constricting. You change the subject slightly to something more interesting.

“You talked about booby traps… What sorts are in this place? And how can you tell where they’re at or when they activate?” They weren’t creatures, but these traps could be potentially just as fascinating in your book.

“Oh sure. If it’s no problem for you then have at it. A map like this calls for some crackerjack artisanship that a man of my vocation just doesn’t possess.”

You doubt they’ll have any luck, though. With the tests you’ve run, it doesn’t seem that the temple will enjoy being mapped. In fact, it seems to punish you for doing so. Though it might treat these two with more respect. “It’s just your standard traps. Exploding tiles, hidden crossbows, big ole pits. I found a new one only a few days ago though.” The angry burn hidden under your pant leg won’t let you forget it.

You reach the doorway and stop, squinting at the worn stone. “Doggone it. I told you I’d been marking the doors. Check this shit out. I took out a pen not ten minutes ago and put an X on this thing.” You point out the marking, which has faded so quickly it’s nearly imperceptible. “That’s been happening for friggin weeks. Apparently the architecture hates vandalism as much as it hates normal geometry.”

nemorialex‌:

Oh, goodness. Though he doesn’t pull you forward for the handshake, you still stagger from the surprisingly eager grip. You’re quick to recover your stance and you’re smile, however, and even if he shakes longer than is considered… Typical. At least not as far as you know.

He releases you and you take a step back, carefully folding your hands in front of you and biting at your lower lip. This man- Jake, apparently, was a lot more excited and forward than you had initially expected. You don’t even have to look at Ghostie to know he’s probably the cause of Jake’s faded echo. Without thinking, your hand moves from being clasped to gently rest on Ghostie’s shoulder. It’s not quite a pap, but the intention behind it is a similarly gently ‘knock it off…’

Your smile lights up more fully at the completed name exchange, and you bow your head politely.

“Well in that case, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Jake!” You glance around the ruins as if it were the parlor to his home. “Since you’re a tad bit more of an expert here than we are, is there anything of interest?” Whether that meant exploring highlights of his, or heading in a new direction made no difference to them personally.

“Oh—heh—you’re craving a tour of the facilities then.” You cast a glance back at the temple that towers behind you. Sure it’s something of a sanctuary compared to the great temperate world beyond. But you’re not sure you’d call yourself an expert on the place. It’s certainly no treasure trove, or gargantuan underground cavern of archaeological wonders, or home to dashing damsels of alien origin. You look back just in time to see Ghostie swatting Alex’s hand away. You decide to ignore him.

“I’ve got to be honest with you chums. It’s a hazardous business even getting through the door of this place. I think I’ve got most of the booby traps down pat though. It’s the topology that really bamboozles the bloody shit outta me.”

Even as you talk, you’re already picking your way through the massive roots and thick undergrowth that precedes the entrance to the abandoned temple. It was probably once a grandiose doorway, lined with carved stone and encrusted in gems and all that shit. But now it’s fallen into ruin, which in your opinion just makes it cooler.

“Of course I’ve tried drawing a map. I started marked the doorways too, but the place just evades comprehension... slippery thing. Sometimes I swear this building’s got it in for me.”

nemorialex‌:

Your stop a respectable meter away from the stranger, once again checking to make sure Ghostie was with you. He seemed about as excited as a wet cat. Well, you can’t feel too bad about that, since he was willing to come with. And you’re determined to ride this excitement as far as it’ll take you!

He assures you that the two of you aren’t intruding, which is good. You nod, and then quickly stop.

“Oh! Well, I’m not sure I’d call my self too much of a globetrotter. I mean, I do a fair bit of exploration, but more or less within my own little corner of the world…” This was as wide a door as any to step through for introductions! You take a step closer and hold out your hand for shaking. “My name’s Alex. Alex Miller.”

You think it… Odd, for a just a moment, that he says you look familiar. Something about him is familiar as well, but after he remarked on it, you’re not sure if you’re just forcing that idea. It’s not like you’re a public figure, and this temple is out of the way of your typical haunts. And the idea that maybe you just look like someone else he knows makes you a little… Disappointed? But you’re not sure why.

A handshake! You grasp their hand with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm and give it a firm shake, like a smarmy moneybags might in a feature film. Their hand is much smaller than yours, and only a bit less calloused. They probably don’t spend all day firing their pistols off at dastardly foes. But if you were to guess, there’s some other kind of weapon in that little backpack they’re slinging around. A machete for trailblazing through tropical fauna? Some deadly fucking ninja stars? A cool new toy—er, gun??

You’ve been shaking their hand for too long. Sheepish, you step off a bit and eye their companion, who grips a steaming thermos and shoots you the stink-eye like trying to catch his hand for a friendly shake would be akin to grabbing a boa constrictor. Despite the glower, he mutters his name as well.

“Alex, eh? And, Ghos...” You falter as his stare blackens. “Well, that’s not a moniker I’ve come across before, but we’ll get along just fine, with the jolly mood you’re in. English is the name, but it seems we’re peers in peril now, so you can call me Jake!”

nemorialex‌:

You nearly jump out of your skin (which would be equal parts embarrassing, disgusting, and if nothing else inconvenient if that were actually a thing people could do). You honestly didn’t expect, or really even mean to find anyone in here. Not that you didn’t mind the chance at more company or anything, but you didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes, metaphorically speaking. If someone had claimed this place as their own exploration playground it would be rude to barge in and invite yourself. Wouldn’t it?

Regardless, this new fellow is introducing himself. It would be rude to not return the favor. So you change course slightly and attempt to meet him halfway, keeping an eye on your footing, on Ghostie, and on your target ahead.

“Why hello there! We were just sort of looking around… That’s not a problem, is it?”

The short stack in front makes a beeline for you, and their even shorter companion reluctantly follows. Subconsciously, you take a step back, like they’re a pair of snakes that just realized how tasty you look. Ah, but they’re just people. Fellow human beans that have no ill intent towards you. This is your chance to shoot the shit with someone, so to speak.

“Eh... howdy!” It strikes you that you’ve already greeted them. Bollocks. “Not to worry, compadre. My land is your land. If this could really be said to be my land... are you by chance a fellow globetrotter? You look familiar...”

But for the life of you you can’t recall why. The wild-eyed gent in the back doesn’t ring a bell at least.

Pardon your French, but all this swashbuckling is a load of poppycock. It seems like no matter how many times you enter a room, the exit doesn’t go the same way; every time you triumph your way through a nasty trap, three more spring up in its place. You don’t even know anymore how long it’s been since you slept in a bed. It’s enough to make a chap want to toss his metaphorical headwear into the metaphorical arena and storm right outta the joint!

Only… well, you don’t particularly want to leave, either. Though fraught with booby traps and carnivorous flora, this temple at least resembles the place you grew up in. Wander far enough from it, and you have no idea what you’ll find. You’ve heard nary a peep from your old friends. There can’t be anything too grand outside of the jungle if nobody’s bothered contacting you to yip about it.

The alternatives are too dark to consider.

Anyway you went so long alone, not seeing anyone but murderous beasts, this might just be better. You’ve got a talent for solitude. It’s how you function best.

Which is why it… startles you to see two folks picking their way through the overgrown, but benign, plants that squirm through cracks in the temple’s stone floor. One traveler with a rusty red puff of hair, eyeing the surrounding gourds with scientific intrigue, and the other glancing warily about as if he didn’t expect to find himself here. You cannot fathom your own depth of excitement as you hop over vines and cracked granite to greet them. “Ho, travellers! What brings you to this viridian keep?”

#nemorialex #a

nemorialex

That’s Right... ADVENTURE!!!

Alright! You’ve had a day to mope and you’re done now! Well, maybe not instantly. After assuring Ghostie you’d be back (with a cup of coffee), you walk your hungover self to Frenchie’s place to talk and recover a bit, which isn’t the best idea on your part, since Toby is still a frighteningly, painfully loud baby, but you figure it’s equal repayment for acting like a baby yourself last night.

You apologize for your actions, in case you worried him but… Honestly, you don’t entirely regret getting drunk last night. You didn’t do anything stupid, and all embarrassment was kept to crying with Ghostie inside his temple and the phrase “Unlitty the titty” unleashed to the internet, which was hilarious to your drunken self for some reason. You regret the impulse to go and specifically get drunk, and you regret the hangover, but otherwise it almost felt cathartic! Especially the after-morning breakfast with your Moirail and your brother.

It all felt… Good. It felt right.

And you know what else feels right? Adventure. Getting off your sorry, sad butt and doing something! You’ve been in a depressed, anxious slump for 3 years, waiting around and keeping busy or distracted with small projects while remaining stationary. You’d like to add more to your story once again.

Keep reading

#{{ dabs

colette2018-deactivated20180214

you: braid my hair and call me pretty

me:

nemorialex‌:

I suppose, but the characteristic of carnivores is to eat meat, which seems less like a sliding scale than most other terms, you know?

It’s good to know that you’re alright, and not actually swallowed by a monstrous plant and whatnot! You said the thing had teeth? Was it similar to a Venus Fly Trap or something? Or was it a different shape? I head that there was a plant that actually looked like a large and beautiful flower, but the center is hollowed out and smells terrible so things go wandering inside. Oh, and also one that looks like some kind of science test tube with a lid! And is it genuinely sentient, do you know? That’d be fascinating if it was! If it’s only “mildly” as you described it, does it have any sort of poison that isn’t toxic to Humans, but moreso deadly to smaller things, like a jellyfish or something? Although, I suppose jellyfish are more of the stinging sort…

I suppose you might be right on that. Biology isnt exactly my strong suit im more of a marauder with a specialization in brawls. You know the sort of things that require lots of wriggling out of with all limbs intact. That isnt to say biology doesnt have its fair share of brouhahas in store for me but when it comes to the finer points of tier lists and the number of claws or teeth on an animal id rather know less than more.

This is an overwhelming prospectus of questions. Lets see i think it is better to answer them in numerical order. Here goes.

1. Yes it had teeth but not in the way of human teeth or even snakes fangs. More like thorns in that they were also made of fiber. Oh i know! Like a rosebush that bites.

2. No it was nothing like the insect eating plants i have met before. It looked more like a creeping ivy that had been left to overgrow for millennia. I had let my guard down because they were waiting for my approach on the wall. Sneaky bastards!

3. Im not sure what makes a plant sentient but it was moving and by all means responding to my struggle in an intelligent way. It didnt seem to enjoy being set ablaze either. But well that’s what the dastardly fellow gets for grabbing my wrists like that and trying to digest me. I still havent thought of a good one liner but when i do ill return to that spot to deliver it. Maybe something like:

I WON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH...

I’LL HAVE TO NIP THIS CONVERSATION IN THE BUD...

YOU’VE GOTTEN THE SHORT END OF THE...

This is why all the greats need some time for their epic defeats. It took mr. bond a bit of practice im sure to come up with so many clever things to say to all those foreign villains he thwarted.

4. Yes in fact those false teeth must have been coated with a biotoxin of some class because im starting to feel a bit zozzled. Perhaps i can mix up a quick antivenom to counteract its effects.

nemorialex‌:

With all due respect, I don’t think there’s such thing as “mildly” carnivorous. They may be smaller, or perhaps omnivorous, but if they eat meat (specifically Humans) that would be carnivorous, would it not?

Whatever, that’s all details that are besides the point! I suggest you cut your way out of the vines and / or find something else for them to cling to, because losing your hand and fingers sounds less than ideal…!

Oh pooh as if there arent creatures that are much more haughty and toothsome than the rest of the predator kingdom. They call the lion the king of beasts for a reason dont they? Thats not just a bunch of flim flam they made up after the simba movie was released.

Not to panic. I was able to use my cunning and wiles to tear through them. I underestimated my own vigor which was a bit daffy considering the circumstances. Abscond, ye sentient fibrous tentacles! You have nothing against my mammalian strength.

nemorialex replied to your post: Aloha, fellas! Ive enmeshed myself balls deep into...

Are you, perhaps, away from the “carnivorous vines” at this point? Because I feel that’s slightly more pressing of an issue…???

Your solicitude flatters me but theyre only mildly carnivorous. No need for concern. Frankly their teeth are more of a nuisance than anything. Their vice grip however is vexing as its cutting off the circulation to my extremities. I expect soon ill become less of a scrivener and more of a schmuck as i lose the ability to move my fingers.

#nemorialex

Aloha, fellas! Ive enmeshed myself balls deep into a real pickle this time thus forcing me to turn to the world wide web for help. However google has nothing to offer me this time around it seems.

Whats a keyword and by jove how do i generalize it??

#For flips fucking sake i am an adventurer not a computer dork.

sappho-and-the-lesbos

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