Wtf Is A Gender

Aldis/Aldi/Al I'm an ace/pan genderfluid that's pissed off seeing anyone excluded from the LGBTQIA+ community, specifically all my ace/aro mates. Here to fight people and stand up for all the precious cinnamon rolls. TRIGGERS: this has accidentally turned into my rant blog so here's a list of regular tags (all start with tw) Depression, dermatillomania, anxiety, suicide Please stay safe (They/them)

[ingridverse]

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

[whatsnew-lgbtq]

Asexual dragon/crystal moodboard

[daniels-ramblings]

My period pain on this scale is a nine, nearing 9.5. I can’t move almost at all, I feel like throwing up, I can’t think of anything else, a TENS unit didn’t even help with my stomach cramps, one the ones in my back. A heating pad is doing almost nothing, I can’t eat bc I feel sick.

Earlier I was bent over scraping puppy shit off the floor, because we recently gave away the last couple of them and it was my job to clean after them. When I stood up, my legs were so weak from all the pain my back and stomach had been in they were shaking and the gave out before I even got to the couch. Mind you, the couch is 10’ away at most. I was shaking for 20 minutes after I was done with cleaning.

Nothing is helping and I wanna die, this suck so bad just get it out already. My parents think it’s normal but I know it isn’t it shouldn’t hurt this much it never hurts this much

[acephobia-exists]

(You just described how I feel today, periods suck and ones like this are definitely not normal. Period pain should be inconvenient, not debilitating.)

Try a hot pad or ice depending on how your pain feels. I prefer hot pad on sore/aching muscles and an ice pack on my forehead or back of neck.

Eat easily digestible foods that aren't junk as much as possible. Vegetables, fruits, anything high in water content especially. Rice, puddings, jellos, etc. (I mean I already broke this rule today so just, do your best.)

Stretch! Cramping muscles build up the acid that makes you sore. Stretching helps release that, and can encourage them to Stop Being Assholes. Massages also help, but that relies on having someone you trust to do it.

Exercise is good but it can be hard. Try swimming or another low impact activity to start when you can (or just float in a hot tub).

Cravings usually mean something. If you have a craving for a particular food (especially one that is known for iron) then indulge. I always crave milk for it's vitamins right before my period.

Ibuprofen. This actually helps but you have to take it religiously. You can take up to 800mg (four pills, usually) but take it with food and it can upset your stomach. The reason ibuprofen helps is it fills the receptors that receive the chemical telling your body to cramp. If you take it constantly (even when you're not cramping) it will fill those receptor spots and render the chemicals null. Check the bottle but I believe you should be taking it every four hours.

You probably have endometriosis or another serious issue with your reproductive system. I'd recommend looking into birth control if you can (estrogen prevents periods, and can help balance out hormone issues if that is what is causing the pain). Obviously if you're on T this isn't an option (as far as I know). On that note, an afab body has its highest T levels when on your period, so if you are on T then that could be making your symptoms worse.

[positivity-roses]

If you are a girl who loves girls and see a gay post like “Boys are so perfect and I’m in love!”: 

- Do not add “Don’t you mean girls??” 

- Do not add “Eww” 

- Do not add “ *girls “ 

- Do not add “Me but with girls, lol” 

- Do not derail posts by and for boys who love boys, it’s disrespectful and annoying

- Make your own post about how girls are perfect and you’re in love. As a separate post.  Leave the other post alone, it’s not for you.  

[acephobia-exists]

When you hear your dead name but it was for someone else

[userboxer]

[camllo]

friendly reminder that if you came out as trans recently and being called by your name and pronouns feels a lil weird thats totally normal and it doesn’t mean you arent trans. being called something different than you grew up being called takes getting used to sometimes

[loumandliker]

when allistics make autistic headcanon posts

[loumandliker]

like see the thing is, you’re still allowed to agree with autistic headcanons and consume fan content where characters are autistic its even encouraged. it’s just. i have never. ever in my life seen an autistic headcanon post (abt what autistic traits a character has) made by an allistic that wasn’t creepy, gross, or just ducking weird and i am Tired

and on top of that those headcanon posts tend to be circulated more (by other allistic fans, naturally) while headcanon posts by autistic fans get ignored b/c it’s easier for allistics to get behind shit like “haha well he’s a little socially awkward and likes trains” than “he repeats himself 8 times in a row and has a meltdown if you interrupt an activity he’s in the middle of”

and allistics tend to completely sanitize/downplay ~gross~/weird autistic traits and make them More Digestible for other allistics by being all “Well sometimes he doesn’t look people in the eye and he likes teddy bears” or they’ll go all “uwu soft precious baby eats the strings off of their friends’ hoodies how cute uwu” like

we’re people?? it feels uncomfortably fetishizing yknow??? stop it’s so uncomfortable and actually painful to read sometimes?? because you know the same people that’ll think me posting abt my headcanons where characters walk on their toes, do raptor hands, headbutt ppl to show affection, and chew on their shirt collars is Cute will ignore or even really hate nonverbal, meltdown-prone perpetually confused autistics who’ll physically fight you if you touch their belongings or food. even if theyre the same person.

because the only way allistics will create autistic characters is if they get to pick and choose the most Sympathetic autistic traits a person can have

anyways cut it out and support autistic peoples headcanons instead

[alexangery]

im just gonna.

so the same people who claim to Love autistic folks are often the ones who dont listen when we explain how to love us. these are people who will infantilize us and empty their pockets every time autism speaks asks.

just. listen to who we are and what we have to say. don’t treat it like a tragedy if we have a meltdown over someone touching our food. don’t get upset if we headbutt instead of saying i love you. and let us have autistic characters who look like us, not the watered down, “acceptable” autistic facsimiles you want us to be.

[loumandliker]

allistics can reblog btw

[nonbinarypastels]

it’s okay to have multiple names.

if you go by one name IRL and another online, that’s okay.

if you have multiple genders and have a name for each, that’s okay.

if you use your birth name in some situations and your chosen name in others, that’s okay.

it’s okay to have multiple names!

[acephobia-exists]

Tfw you're so stressed and anxious that all you want to do is stim

[bisexualgambit]

I’m gonna say it...

Trans men shouldn’t be silenced, ignored, or patronized in conversations about menstruation. 

[bisexualgambit]

I’m gonna say it again, rephrased this time: No AFAB person should be excluded from conversations about menstrual healthy simply. For example, it’s such a small thing but calling it menstrual hygiene/health instead of feminine hygiene/healthy can make a big difference for AFAB/non-female aligned people. Our existence and our bodies SHOULD be normalized. 

[bean-munch]

To be honsest i’m never overt or preachy about being vegan on this site because the issue has just never really come up

i recognise that practically all crops are grown and picked by exploited workers or slaves and nothing is ethical were all gonna die anyways

And a lot of vegan discourse does tend to be geared towards well-off health focused vegans who are into Detoxing and Cleanses and other bullshit that i don’t really care about

But at this point i just like beans too much and im comfortable continuing to be a Fucking Bean Eater. I eat what i want, and because of the whole no ethical consumption existing thing i don’t tell anyone else what they should eat.

I find it hard to care about anything these days because of just how irreversibly fucked up the planet and ecosystem is so i just try to be chill because people already have enough to be stressed about

[hvrleyquinn]

I’m sorry I’m trying to deal with all my emotions by memeing

[bisexualgambit]

Cis people all the time 24/7: *assume characters are cis even thought they have never explicitly stated their gender*

Trans people a handful of times: I have a headcanon that this character is trans!

Cis people: 

[acephobia-exists]

Next time the argument comes up: they never confirmed that person was cis though??

[boycomet-deactivated20181230]

a common myth that circulates in queer and trans communities and that i hear often is the idea that going on T will change you, make you more angry, more aggressive, etc. I have heard this mainly from other queer and trans people who are not on hormones. This is not only false, but is very transphobic. Testosterone, like any hormone, can affect your mood but the extent of this is really just like how your mood changes sometimes during puberty. Testosterone does not affect your personality, your general behavior and who you are as a person. The physical effects of T can definitely affect how you see yourself and may make you more comfortable being assertive and things like that, but actually ive noticed that its less that my personality has changed from being on T and more that people perceive my actions and behavior differently because I look physically more “masculine”. There is no proof to say that T makes you an asshole or more aggressive, or that it give you “T rage”, that is all completely unfounded and honestly transphobic. This rhetoric just further stigmatizes transition and anyone who choses to go on T in order to feel better about themselves and their body.

[hi-def-doritos-deactivated20181]

next time I get talked to by an exclusionist I’m just gonna say “we’re here, we’re queer; get used to it” and then repeating it until they give up.

we’ve told our stories and explained ourselves and justified again and again that asexuals and aromantics–and people under those umbrellas–are inherently queer.

we’ve done our research. we’ve cited our sources.

we’re here.

we’re queer.

get used to it.

[corvid-shmorvid]

Allos: Ughh… Ace/aros aren’t oppressed and shouldn’t be allowed in safe spaces

Ace person: *is tired of fighting*

Ace: We’re here. We’re queer. Get used to it.

Allos in the replies: Oh, my God! What a homophobe! Get off this site! I can’t believe this!

[youfuckingclown]

dont call us allos. dont speak over gay people telling you not to use the word “queer” to describe yourselves. it’s really basic.

[corvid-shmorvid]

I mean, last I checked, I’m definitely trans, intersex, and panromantic, so I’m pretty sure I have a pretty strong claim to that word (but, since I’m ace, to hell with all the rest of it, right?). Not to mention that it’s not your word to gatekeep. Activists during the gay and trans liberation movement worked to reclaim that word. They reclaimed it for the entire community. It is for the entire LGBTQIAP community, not just LGs.

[youfuckingclown]

i’d like to see ur sources on the “they reclaimed it for the entire community” thing. i’ve never heard that before. plus, although you personally may be able to reclaim it without backlash, the original post implied that ALL ace ppl can use it.

[acephobia-exists]

I'd like to see your source confirming otherwise. Last I checked, my datemate and I are hella queer and y'all whining exclusionists on the internet isn't going to stop me from reclaiming a term we're fully entitled to, especially after all the cis/heteronormative abuse we've been through.

As a filthy mogai queer, I give all my other ace mates explicit permission to use queer whenever they feel like it to self identify.

[clickerhorse]

@ my fellow trans peeps

How did you pick a name? I’ve been going by ‘Toby’ online for a while now, but I realised I really did not want a biblical name and it just doesn’t feel right

But yeah, I am finding it difficult to pick a name for myself [including balancing my own proces with my parents - they have been very accepting and i would like them to be involved somehow, so I struggle between picking a name and letting them make a shortlist [although I could make a shortlist and ask them to pick? idk]]

ANYWAY; what were y’all’s journeys in this part of transitioning?

[acephobia-exists]

Im genderfluid/masc so I wanted a name that reflected that but also my family heritage (Italian) so I just googled Italian neutral names until one resonated with me. Aldis basically means "old soul" which I relate to so I went with it.

I know some people choose a name with the same initials, or ask their parents what they picked out as an opposite gender name and take that one.

Just know that you don't have to settle on a name before you're ready. Wait until you find one that makes you smile, and really identifies with yourself.