Karren

Ana | 22 | steam of woe | pain | lonely

[acheron24420]

OVAJ DAN NEĆU ZABORAVIT!!

[acheron24420]

I'm scared this is all I will ever be

[acheron24420]

Actually, i have been broken all along...

[acheron24420]

It's sad how sad this life can be...

It’s truly sad how painful this life can be.

God gives you one life, just one, and yet somehow it never fully belongs to you. You breathe, you wake up, you survive — but you don’t get to steer it the way you want. Your happiness, your peace, even your pain, sits in the hands of other people.

You learn early that wanting something isn’t enough. Wanting to be happy isn’t enough. You can only be happy if others allow it. If they smile at you, you smile back. If they love you, you feel alive. But the moment they turn away, the moment they decide you are not worth kindness anymore, everything collapses.

It’s terrifying how fragile a human heart is. How one word can lift you, and one silence can destroy you. How someone else’s mood can decide whether your day feels like hope or like drowning. You try to be strong, you try to pretend you don’t care, but deep down you know the truth — you are tired of depending on people who don’t realize how much power they have over you.

Sometimes it feels like living is just enduring. Like carrying a weight no one sees and smiling so no one asks questions. You wonder if God meant life to feel this lonely, this unfair, this heavy. You wonder why loving others so deeply often means losing yourself completely.

And still, you wake up. Still, you breathe. Not because life is beautiful, but because quitting feels even harder.

[acheron24420]

Why are we so broken

[acheron24420]

Call my friends and tell them I loved them in the loud way and the quiet way.

Tell them I’ll miss their voices echoing in rooms I no longer belong to.

Tell them I kept their laughter folded in my chest like a prayer I said too often.

I’m leaving gently. Not in anger. Not in fear.

Just… finished.

I’m going where the noise can’t reach me,

where the weight finally slips off my shoulders,

where God doesn’t ask me to be strong anymore.

I know they’ll cry. I know they’ll ask why.

But I’m not sorry.

I’m not sorry for choosing peace over endurance.

I’m not sorry for laying my name down and stepping into light.

I’m not sorry for wanting rest more than explanations.

Tell them I loved them.

Tell them I’ll miss them.

Tell them this wasn’t abandonment — it was surrender.

And if God asks who I was,

tell Him I tried.

[acheron24420]

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

[acheron24420]

Kako da se vratim na put, kad sam na suvozačkom?

[acheron24420]

Imagine writing a letter that begins with “dear whoever might understand.”

Just think about how lonely that sounds—reaching out into the void, hoping someone out there might feel the same.

[acheron24420]

Više ne mogu, ne želim

[acheron24420]

I've always risen to the top.

I've never gone underwater.

But something now is filling me to the top of my head.

I'm sinking. I don't know how to drain it.

I never knew tears. I didn't know how to be sad.

...

And i wouldn't have...

...if only it wasn't for now...

Something crushed me from inside.

Slowly, little by little...

...washing away every monument I had built up.

Oh God...

So this is what it feels like.

I...finally knows sadness

I know it now when I've met him

[acheron24420]

I want to disappear

[acheron24420]

I feel small, like I don’t matter.

I feel tired and sad, like I’m not enough.

[acheron24420]

Zadovoljan je

Najlipša i najtužnija stvar u njemu

Zadovoljan svime

Udarac, zadovoljan

Poljubac, zadovoljan

Mržnja, zadovoljan

Tužne oči

A zadovoljan svime

[acheron24420]

Times are sinking into shadow. Twisted emotions—both sorrowful and strangely serene—flood my mind, haunting images of me, suspended, lifeless, and cold.

[acheron24420]

This is exclusively my opinion and not universally applicable but I have the same thought that women suffer more compared to men. Right from periods from a tender age of 12/13 every month for 7 days till the age of 45–48. Starting of menstrual and menopause are definitely the most agonizing periods of women's life. There are extreme hormonal imbalances and a lot of physical pain. Post menopause, women's body experience wear and tear at a much faster speed. Then there is pregnancy, delivery, child’s primary care, breastfeeding etc. Not to forget contraception is a greater responsibility for women cuz they are the ones who face the brunt of it. Miscarriage and abortion both physically, mentally and emotionally taxing. Also to mention the ill effects of contraceptives on women's body, the aftermath of those pills can show decades later too(my Nani died of stomach cancer because of such pill she took 3 decades earlier). Then there are this forced worldly obligations in most cases where women are required to leave their homes after marriage, adjust according to new family and is given the responsibility to make everyone in the new family happy. As if it's a switch button. Old home off new home on. Old relations off. New relations on. As if emotions can just so easily be switched on and off. What else, a long list, women have the additional threat and far greater possibility of being raped, molested, burnt in dowry, acid attacked, trafficked and thrown to forced prostitution besides the common things of being murdered, looted or abducted (these are applicable to men also). No denying that women are paid far less as compared to men. Unorganised sector is even worse with women. A woman even if let's say does not want to work outside and instead be a home maker, is found grappling when the male earner dies unexpectedly. She is then forced to look for work when she was never even prepared for it and at the same time do household chores and look after children. In most cases, the next person to take the household responsibility when mother finds work outside, is the daughter. She is given the task to cook, clean and look after siblings. While not all men went to war, and even far less go now, the above ranted responsibilities/expectations/problems for atleast 90% of women haven't changed. I forgot about domestic violence. I know it happens with men too but stats are higher for women.

I am sure I am missing out on a lot other areas which I cannot think of as of now.

These are my observations coming from a middle class background and seeing lower income groups.

I know for a fact that biologically God has made the bodies this way and therefore women body is inherently more prone to exploitation but humans have made it worse for women.

[acheron24420]

Najruzniji je ljut covik