Summary: Before Tord, Paul was the one with all the army trauma.
Generational army trauma let’s go.
October 19th
Arctic
Paul’s hands were shaking.
Paul’s whole body was shaking actually-
It was the middle of winter after all- and he was outside in the middle of a snowstorm.
Norway winters were no fucking joke.
Paul was 10 years old and shaking like a leaf as he tried to make his way through the raging snow.
Only three kids were allowed back.
There were eight of them out here.
Paul had heard screaming a while ago, but other than that he only had the roaring wind to keep him company.
He hated these stupid challenges the leader made them do…
They were stupid and horrible and disgusting and they made him cry.
Paul just had to make it back to the base and everything would be okay…
But the base was about a mile away… and with the rising snow it was getting harder and harder to get there.
He knew deep down the leader would be happy if he didn’t come back to the place they all called home. He knew the leader was disappointed in him every time he cried over a dead body.
Probably because Paul was the worst prodigy son to ever exist…
But if Paul died then Yanov could be his new son and he could praise him instead and blah blah blah.
Paul hated Yanov and he knew Yanov hated him.
It was mainly because he thought of Paul as pathetic for the leader’s son as much as everyone else.
Paul really hoped Yanov died out here. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen- he was the top of their soon to be three person class.
Paul stared down at his hands, noting how blue they looked. He couldn’t feel them as the wind bit into his skin.
He was going to die out here he was pretty sure…
They had only been given nothing but their uniforms and a knife to make it back.
It was a death march- that’s all it was.
“H-Hey!!!!”
He heard someone shout in the distance, making Paul tense up.
This was 100% a trap.
“H-Hey please!!!! P-Please I’m stuck!!!” The voice called out again.
Paul knew that voice.
It was Yuu.
He was a 9 year old German kid who was too scrawny and short, but he was really good at combat. And he was really smart… like super insanely smart.
He was also nice… Paul really liked him. He’d never been mean to Paul like most of the other kids in their group.
So, Paul made his way to where Yuu was yelling. He immediately saw that Yuu was telling the truth- it looked like the poor kid had gotten his leg tangled in some roots of a tree.
He looked up at Paul, his eyes wide and his teeth chattering. There were crystalized tears down his cheeks.
Paul knew he didn’t look any better-
“A-Are you o-okay?…” he shook as he spoke, the wind and the cold feeling like stabbing knives on his skin.
“Y-Yeah…” Yuu laughed. “I-I just fell… I’m g-glad you came by P-Paul…”
Paul nodded, grabbing onto his knife with shaking fingers. He cut through the roots with unsteady fingers, helping Yuu back to his feet.
“H-Here…” Yuu said, once Paul had put his knife back away. He stuck out his hand and Paul took it- it was a silent peace offering.
His hand felt like ice…
“I-I don’t know who’s l-left…” Yuu said it so quietly that Paul almost missed it.
Paul didn’t want to think about it. He would sob if he thought about it.
He didn’t want to think about the fact that so many of his friends were already dead.
They both trudged through the snow back up to the mountain where the base lay. They didn’t say much to each other, just clinging onto each other’s hands.
They didn’t run into any more kids…
Paul also really really hoped they were the only two left…
“O-Oh hey… t-there’s someone up there already!” Yuu called out, tugging Paul forward ever so slightly.
Paul felt like he was walking to his death…
Maybe he was.
Because it was Yanov standing at the top of the hill.
His blue jacket was stained red and he didn’t look cold at all. Yanov really didn’t look like a ten year old kid… he looked like an adult who wasn’t phased by killing.
“O-Oh god he’s still alive?!” Yanov huffed, crossing his arms and making eye contact with Paul. “I was h-hoping the snow had k-killed you.” His chattering voice betrayed him.
Paul wanted to laugh-
He couldn’t even feel angry at Yanov’s words with how cold he was.
He knew Yuu was feeling the same way. The poor kid hadn’t stopped shaking-
“Whatever.” Yanov scoffed, walking back into the base. Yuu quickly followed after him, letting go of Paul’s hand and racing inside.
Paul looked back down the hill, not seeing the bodies but knowing they were there.
He could feel his own tears crystallizing against his cheek…
He decided to walk back inside to get warmed up…
Or before his dad decided to let him freeze to death out here.