exo 101 guide 4 losers (4 sasha and emma)
if you're new to exo right now you came at the wrong time buddy
BUT ANYWAY LET ME GIVE YOU SOME BASICS
EXO WAS IS A 12 MEMBER GROUP DIVIDED INTO 2 SUBGROUPS EXO K (Suho, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, D.O, Kai, Sehun)
AND EXO M (Xiumin, Luhan, Kris, Lay, Chen, Tao)
oh my god
aNYWAY MOVING ON
FIRST UP
we got Xiumin (Kim Minseok)
what a gorgeous motherfucker
hE'S THE OLDEST?????
HIS POWER IS FROST
uM?????
don't let it deceive you tho
in reality he's secretly a stripper lets be honest
TAKE MY MONEY
called baozi cus his face looks like a chinese steamed bun
THOSE CHEEKS AREN'T THE ONLY BUNS THAT ARE BURNIN' YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
HHAHAHAHAHAHA i hate myself
OKAY NEXT ONE
shit it's Dianne's bitch
this is Lu Han meaning Dear of the Dawn (or just Luhan)
he's actually an aNGELIC CHILD
his pOWER IS TELEPATHY
dreamt of being a soccer player once
thinks he's manly
meanwhile all of exo is just
his vocabulary is composed of just "yo" and "man"
HE'S ACTUALLY THE MOST PRECIOUS BEING IN THIS ENTIRE PLANET
HE WAS SECOND TO LEAVE EXO FUCK IM SO SAD
BUT HE DOING WELL HE'S STILL WITH US IN OUR HEARTS
next up is kRIS NO
he has many names Kris Wu, Wu Yifan, Kevin Li (when he was in Vancouver) , Li Jiaheng (birth name)
HIS POWER IS FLIGHT/BEING A FUCKIN DRAGON I HATE MY LIFE
has the most ghetto english ever
never forget showcase
HE LOOKS BADASS BUT HE'S ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST LOSER PLEASE
self proclaimed picasso of the group (until chanyeol stole it)
we can only dream to be at this level
ms finley is sobbing
FUKCING YAOI HANDS
jESUS
if you search yaoi hands u actulALLY END UP GETTING KRIS' PICTURES
he was the first to leave aND I WEEP BUT IT'S OK
WE STLL LOVE HIM
CHICKEN INST MY STYLE BUT YOU ARE
(also he has a thing for the galaxy)
oh godd
next up
meet the mama of EXO
aka the leader
this is Suho, name stands for guardian (his real name literally you can spell like 3000 times Kim Junmyeon)
nicknamed Junmama, is also Tao's and EXO's self proclaimed mom
DO YOU HEAR HARPS PLAYING IN THE BACK
HIS POWER IS WATER
but in reality he money bends
JUNMONEY SUGAR DADDY
rich ass bitch holy fuck
he can literally go from
to
AND LET'S NOT FORGET
next one
this is sheleer's bitch
this is Lay (Zhang Yixing)
born October 7,1991
his power is hEALING (aka being a unicorn)
he takes his job very seriously
created by the gods
JESUS HE'S SO PURE
BUT NOT RLLY
CUS
fUCKIN DANCER HOLY FUCK
hIS HIPS MOVE FASTER THAN HIS BRAIN
bc Lay is high like 24/365
at some point in life we are all Lay
oH GOD
NEXT
IS
iRene'S bItch
this is
Byun Baekhyun (aka Bacon cus literally nobody in N.A knows how to pronounce his name)
his power is Light
cUS HE LIGHTS UP ALL OF EXO WITH HIS HUMOUR
kkaebsong
and also predebut days
eyeliner????
FUCKING VOICE IS LITER ALL Y sMOOTH JAZZ
HANDS??
sHIT FUCK
NEXT MEMBER
MY OLD BIAS
HE HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY
this is Chen (Kim Jongdae fuCKER)
his poWER IS LIGHTNING
//MICHAEL JACKSON NOISES yOUVE BEEN HI T BY
ok sorry
jesus christ his voice can I just
FUCK
HIS VOICE LITERALLY BRINGS U TO TEARS
he's actually a fucking loser
nicknamed Chensing Machine because of his dance skills
fuckin troll
shit
next up
Jay's bitch
this is Park Chanyeol
a.k.a the biggest nerd in EXO
his power is fIIIIYAAHHHH
musically talented HolY FUCK
is actually the cutest cutie to have ever existed
his laugh is contagious as fuck holy shit
if u think his voice is really nasally sounding you are wrong
HE CAN TRANSITION TO ????
fUCK LOOK AT THE CHANGUNS
???????
SH IT MAN
PlAY ME LIKE UR iNSTRUMENTS //GETS ANNIHILATED BY JAY
put Baek, Chen and Yeol together you get Beagle Line aka the most gay ass trio (since they all born on 1992)
oh no
prepare your holy water and crucifixes
better get ready to recite the bible
IT'S SATAN
I MEAN D.O (Do Kyungsoo)
HE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL
his power is eARTH/WILD BEAST
main vocalist of exo (i almost typed vocaloid fuck)
his vOICE IS ACTUALLY HGNNGNGNGN
mARRY ME
NICKNAMED SQUISHYSOO BECAUSE /SCREAMS
he is aCtoR???
he hates EXO as much as me tbh
FUCK
he's just plottin ur death
but hes realy just an awkward baby
oH GOD NO NOT THIS ONE
FUCK
THIS IS
THE BIGGEST FUCKING BABY IN ALL OF EXO
This Is Tao !!1>?!?/1 (Huang Zitao)
aka Kung fu Panda
born May 2, 1993
his powER IS TIME
CUS HE I SwUSHU MASTER
MANLY AS FUKC
but in reality hes just a sensitive boop
he cries a lot fukcin weenie //paps
mY CHI LD
literally doesnt give two shits about ur life
Expectation
Reality
OH NO
N O
NO N O N O
NOT THIS ONE
FUCK SHIELD UR EYES
IM TEAR IGN APART RIGHT NOW
FUCK THIS NEXT MEMBER
YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE
I HATE YOU
FUCK
THIS IS KAI FUCK N O (KIM JONGIN)
HIS POWER IS TELEPORTATION
everyone has a kai phase some point in their lives dont even hide it
HE IS LEAD DANCER BECUSE HE LITERALLY APPEARS IN LIKE 95% OF THE TEASERS HAHAHAHAHA
vISUAL
PLEASE BITE ME
HES ACTUALLY JUSTA BIG FAT SWEETHEART WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND KIND HEART
jongin x chicken is the real otp everyone go home
he loves his dogs more than exo
fuck this is the last member
FINALLY
oh god
this is
the biggest asshole in all of EXO tbh
this fucker
Nida's hoe
this is Oh Sehun
hiS POWER IS WIND
hE IS ALSO DANCER
this fucker literally
YOU DECEIVING SHIT
how are you the youngest
someone please
explain this logic
sehun hates everything 99.9999999% of the time
he judges your very existence
unless youre bubble tea
used 2 wear retainers so he had a lisp and ppl made fun of him :(
HE JUST WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME
best known for yehet
we dont know why
STOP NO
you will quickly soon realize that getting into EXO is the worst decision in your life bye