Sideblog for @actuallyrandomperson
Trying to write ~100 words each day while also existing as a chronic yapper
Pronouns change but they/them is always safe
A daily writing blog! Featuring ~100 word snippets of whatever I'm working on at any given moment alongside rambling insights into how my brain works/what's going on in my life bc I am unable to shut the fuck up. Wish me luck for continuing to do this daily in 2026!!!!
You can sort though the posts on this blog using the tags '#embers daily writing' and '#embers daily rambles', alongside fandom and fic relevant tags!
You can find my ao3 here and buy me a coffee here!
I love making fandom friends (though am admittedly very adhd in my communication and response times at times) so feel free to reach out if you wanna chat/ask about any of the fics I'm working on/etc!!!
breakdowns of how previous daily writing years have gone can be found at 'embers yearly breakdown', though there's only the one there right now!
"Slight problem with that, bud. We're not actually dating, and that sorta feels like a pre-requisite to anything else."
Chris frowned at that, confused.
"Are you sure?" He asked. "And does Dad know that? Because he's been more smiley recently."
Buck internally debated the merits of explaining the whole complicated mess to a fourteen-year-old before deciding to just cut to the chase.
"We're not not dating," he started, before being cut off by Chris' groan.
"Are you telling me you and Dad are in a fucking situationship?"
Or, Buck and Eddie keep kissing, which would be fine if either of them would actually talk about it.
Pairing: Buck/Eddie
slipped and fell back into the 911 fandom and finally finished the kissing fic! I still want to get SOMETHING posted for heated rivalry but i aint mad that i can shove this into the 'complete' folder
probably not gonna come back to the daily writing just yet but i have been poking about at more than just this wip so we shall see
have realised I'm like. almost defs in burnout given how unmotivated I am to write even with the Intense Hyperfixation on heated rivalry so am gonna take a break from daily posting for a bit!! Don't expect to be gone for a month but that the 'time limit' I'm setting myself (unless at the end of that month I'm still feeling super fucking burnt out, but I don't expect to lol). there's a possibility I'll post things in the month just not daily as well, mostly gonna play it by ear!! love everyone that's following along w this shit no matter what fandom you're here for 💜
"It does not have to be now. It does not even have to be during the season. You could invite him to the cottage for a weekend," Ilya pointed out, so casual it almost sounded practised.
"He has a wife, Ilya, and kids. He can't just… go away randomly in the off season."
"So?" Ilya asked. "I like kids, invite them too. Then you can tell his wife at the same time, yes? Because she is also your friend. Kill the birds with the stone, or whatever the fuck it is that you say."
"I mean, maybe," Shane murmured, really thinking it over now. "And then I'm not worried about messing with any of our games…"
"See, I can make plans too!"
Ilya was grinning down at him, eyes bright, and Shane pressed up into the kiss that was silently offered a moment later.
"We still have not told Pike," Ilya pointed out, fingers tracing Shane's cheekbone gently.
Shane groaned, shoving his face deeper into Ilya's shoulder in an attempt to hide from the conversation.
"I know," he mumbled. "Trust me, I fucking know."
"Do you know when you want to?" Ilya asked, voice gentle, and Shane sighed.
"Never?" he tried, and Ilya moved the hand on his cheek to instead tilt Shane's chin up just enough that their eyes met.
"We both know you will feel better when you do, sweetheart."
"Fuck off," he huffed, but there was no heat behind it. He could never keep it up in the face of Ilya being sweet to him, and he knew Ilya knew that and took shameless advantage of that fact.
"Holz, you know me and Kip will keep things quiet, but you might want to tell your boyfriend to settle down about things if you don't want the entire league to find out in a week."
"He's not my boyfriend, Scott," Shane replied, ducking his head to hide his grin at the sigh Scott let out in response.
"Man, I've known about you two since he told you his room number at that first fucking All Star game. Please tell me you haven't both gone almost a decade pretending that this is just meaningless hookups."
"You really need to introduce us to Lily one of these days, bud! Jackie keeps asking about her and I'm running out of explanations for why you're so weird about her. She's half convinced you've made her up so we stop setting you up."
"I've told you, Hayd, it's—"
"Hard because of the distance, yeah, yeah. One of you needs to give in to the inevitable and look at moving, alright? It's been years, Shane, you can't tell me it's not serious at this point."
"You'd be good with me becoming a Raider?" Shane asked, disbelieving, and Hayden groaned.
"Well, no, but I figure there's a reason she hasn't moved up to Canada. You deserve to be happy, man, even if it means joining the enemy."
"Ugh, so boring," Ilya sighed, voice crackling slightly over the line. "Do Montreal not pay you enough for grocery delivery? You should negotiate for higher salary next time."
"It's not boring, Ilya, it's a completely normal activity!"
"One that you could pay other people to do for you."
Shane rolled his eyes, fondly amused despite himself.
"I normally do, but I forgot I was out of a few essentials. And it's good to get out of the house for things other than hockey sometimes, you know? Talk to normal people about mundane things."
"And you try to argue that this is not boring?" Ilya asked, and Shane laughed as he pictured the expression of disgust that Ilya was undoubtedly wearing.
"I mean, I know it's not exactly a night out at the club, but it's better than reading the New Yorker."
"Is fucking cold in here, Hollander, you not turn your heating on or something?"
Shane popped his head out from a bundle of blankets on the couch, looking so much like a disgruntled kitten being woken up from a nap that Ilya couldn't help but laugh.
"It wouldn't work when I got home from practice last night," he sighed. "A maintenance company was supposed to come look at it today, but they didn't end up making it out."
"They do know you are very famous hockey player who will pay them a lot of money so you do not freeze to death, da? I can remind them if you want."
Ilya was mostly joking, but only mostly. They got so little time together, even with Ilya being in Ottawa now, so every visit was a chance to drown himself in Shane as deeply as possible, to luxuriate in the way he looked, felt, and tasted.
The cold permeating his apartment right now could interfere with that plan
"It's fine," Shane replied, shrugging dismissively. "I'll book someone else if they don't come out tomorrow morning. Stuff happens, I get that."
"Canadians," Ilya spat teasingly. "Far too nice. Should tell them that your boyfriend is angry Russian if they do not come fix."
He'd reached the couch by now, having shed his bags and outermost layers as he came through the entryway, and he leant over to meet Shane's lips with a soft smile.
"You make it sound like you're a part of the mafia or something, Ilya."
"Maybe I'm secretly bratva. Being best hockey player in the league is just side gig. No one can prove otherwise!"
Shane shook his head at that, amused.
"I'm pretty sure they could," he argued. "Like, it would become clear as soon as they started investigating you."
"Eh, some guys in the NHL would still believe it," he shrugged. "That is good enough."
"Ridiculous," Shane muttered, voice fond despite itself, and Ilya swooped down to steal another kiss.
"Do you want drink?" He asked, straightening up and looking towards the kitchen. "Ginger ale, coffee, tea?"
Shane was already shaking his head, and he reached an arm out of the blanket pile to snag Ilya's.
"I'm all good, I promise. You can make something if you want a drink, but I just want to curl up with you," he admitted, and Ilya melted even further.
"Of course, kotenok," he murmured, already rounding the corner to slip under the blankets next to Shane. "There's nothing I want more."
Shane hadn't fully appreciated how hard the distance would be, now that they were actually dating. They'd spent their entire relationship living in completely different cities, after all, sneaking hook-ups in any time they were in the same place for more than an hour and on speaking terms. They'd barely even texted, and when they did it hadn't exactly been about anything important, both of them desperately trying to manufacture a divide they hadn't truly felt.
These days, they were doing everything they could to pretend that distance didn't exist. Phone calls, facetimes, texting… they all helped, but each week that passed without seeing Ilya in person made a hollow pang ring out in Shane's chest, like his heart couldn't beat right without him.
"I can come with you to tell him," he offered, deadly serious now. "Unless you think that will, ah… rock the boat too much for him."
"You can't be around every time I come out, Ilya, I have to learn to do this alone eventually."
"Not every time, no," he agreed, "But I can this time, if you would like. I will come whenever you would like."
He couldn't help the smirk that rose as he said it, and wasn't surprised when Shane slapped at his chest as the double meaning registered.
"I'm sure you would," he said, rolling his eyes, before nuzzling himself back into Ilya's warmth. "Yeah. Yeah, you should be there. It might help him understand if he sees us together."
"Don't care," Ilya said, kissing his way down Shane's neck. "Doesn't matter."
"Yes it does, I want to see you."
"Mm, I can see you. More important."
"Just…" Shane sighed, as much in response to the feeling of Ilya against him as it was at how ridiculous he was being. "Come up here for a minute, would you?"
"You are late," Ilya said, tugging Shane in with an impatient huff.
"Sorry, Hayden held me up on the way out the door. Wanted to know how Lily was doing."
"Sitting in apartment wasting away while waiting for her boyfriend to come over so they can have sex," he huffed again, already tugging at Shane's clothes in an effort to make skin contact. "Obviously. Even though her boyfriend would rather talk to Hayden Pike."
He'd backed Shane back into the door by now, one hand slipping up his shirt as the other twisted into his hair, and Shane's head tilted back instinctively to allow Ilya access to his neck.
"Hey, he was super excited at the idea of you living in the same country as us," he managed, breath hitching as Ilya's teeth grazed his neck. "Granted, he still doesn't know who you are, but apparently Jackie's been waiting for me to have a proper WAG."
Honestly, it's a miracle that they don't get found out the first time they play against each other after the cottage.
Shane's being so fucking obvious about how happy he is to be back in Boston. He knows he's being too obvious, knows that the joy and love he feels for Ilya is practically plastered across his face every time he looks at the other man, knows that they'd be found out the second someone made an effort to actually read him. He also just… doesn't care. Not in the way he probably should, at least.
They can't be out. Not right now, at least. He understands that, understands that the ripple effect created by Scott Hunter kissing his boyfriend on the ice was going to take years to change things in a way that allowed Shane and Ilya to think about going public. Shane loves his team, has loved leading them for all these years, but he doesn't quite trust them — not in the way he needed to, if he was going to come out to them eventually. Especially not if he was telling them about Ilya.
Shane's brain had the memo, he was just waiting for his face to get on board. Especially at moments like this, when he was literally on the ice before a match.
"You seem excited," Ilya said, skating close with a wink. "Have a fun night, Hollander?"
"I'm guessing not as fun as yours, Rozanov."
"Mm, maybe it was less, but also maybe more so. I had an early night last night. Quiet."
Ilya's grin had stretched as he talked, and Shane felt his cheeks flush even as he rolled his eyes. Their night together had pretty much been the exact opposite of quiet, neither of them exactly able to hold back just how much they felt these days, and Ilya knew that as well as Shane did.
"Didn't know that that was something you were capable of, honestly. Been learning new tricks?"
"Always! Some of them more fun than others. That one is good one, you might like it, Hollander. After all," Ilya said, leaning in close and dropping his voice to ensure he wasn't overheard. "We both know you like your mouth occupied, da?"
"Oh, fuck off, Rozanov," Shane replied, laughing despite himself, and Ilya just winked before skating back to join the rest of his team.
Shane doesn't even have it in him to question his own taste in men, even if he knew everyone else would, when they eventually knew. Ilya was an asshole, but he was Shane's, and that fact hadn't stopped making him feel giddy in the months since they'd finally both acknowledged that fact.
He loved this man, with every fibre of his being, and he couldn't wait for the day where he got to stop hiding it.
i did, indeed, successfully write every day of this year!
it feels different, somehow, than finishing the 2021 drabble did. partly because the environment of posting something to tumblr feels very different to ao3, partly because i wrote for more than just supernatural this year, partly because i don't have quite the same cold hard statistics to look back on as i did when it was all in one ao3 fic/series.
it's interesting, looking back on this year. in many ways, i improved upon the issues that i talked about here, in the conclusion to the drabble fic. i didn't write any of these snippets in the middle of a breakdown, for one. i also wrote for a pretty wide range of fandoms (i think at least ten????? but i havent been counting). i posted less works on ao3, but what i did post, i am far more confident in & proud of (which also comes from it being like 3 years since my first daily writing challenge).
but i also stumbled across some brand new ones. i'm far busier now, and often didn't actively schedule time for writing. this isn't helped by the fact that fairly early on in the year, i decided to define 'day' as 'before i went to sleep', which means that on some nights where i had no motivation because of exhaustion, i just. put off sleeping by virtue of putting off writing. the dopamine delivery and engagement is far different on tumblr than it was on ao3, where i had a handful of regular commenters (one of whom commented on basically every day). i knew this was going to be the case, especially given i wasn't locking myself into writing for 1 fandom this time, and any time i have seen names pop up repeatedly (both for snippets in the one fandom and for snippets across multiple fandoms) i've very excited, but it was definitely a factor during times i've been hyperfixated on fandoms with far less interactions at various points
so! whats the plan for 2026, you might be asking?
for one, no more 'the day ends when i go to sleep' bullshit. the day ends at midnight. i'm allowed to post a little after midnight, as i don't wanna break my flow if i'm in the middle of a scene, but i gotta get my ass writing at more normal hours again. related to that, i'm going to try and use my laptop more. i started writing using ellipsus fairly early on in the year, which is GREAT because you can use both your phone and your laptop for it, but working at the big screen helps trick my brain into Focus Mode and i think thatll help a lot with approaching this challenge healthily this year
i'm also going to be using an external word tracker! i think having an actual, defined metric of how much i've written in total will be nice for my brain. the day to day word count of 'roughly 100 but if its a bit under at least i wrote Something' won't change, and i don't have a formal goal for the year at all! i probably wont even post it until this time next year, if i do at all.
theres a few other ideas i'm kicking around. i might let myself take a day off from writing each week (just one) (doesn't need to be the same one) (week starts on sunday you can fight me on this), partially to help with burnout/flareups. i might fully just take a week/month off writing at some point when the heated rivalry hyperfixation dies down, to give my brain a chance to rest. i might disappear into the void for a year and actually come back in 2027, ready to touch the world of tumblr once more (unlikely, i wanna keep writing). i mostly just want to keep producing works that i'm mostly proud of, and do it in a way that means i dont wake up the next morning and groan when i see a typo i missed through half asleep eyes has been immortalised in several reblogs.
thank you to anyone who could be fucked reading all of this, and on to a better 2026 (jesus christ that feels fake to write)
