#rozander

[vityamins]

The face of a man who thinks he's about to hear his boyfriend explain the word fuckbuddy to his mom

[pxssionate-intensity]

Ilya and Shane, on top of being The Lovebirds Of All Time, are best fucking friends.

Shane is the #1 person Ilya gossips with. Since Shane isn’t the best on picking up subtext, all of the drama Ilya has to share is a complete surprise to him. Which makes him both the most entertained by the gossip and the most entertaining gossip partner.

Shane has an extremely dry sense of humor, and in public he’ll whisper deadpan commentary into Ilya’s ear while Ilya tries not to cry laughing.

Ilya has a very dark sense of humor that makes most people who hear it uncomfortable, but not Shane. Shane thinks it’s absolutely hilarious every time.

Ilya and Shane love to sit in the same room, do separate activities, and barely speak to each other. Shane will read a book while Ilya plays a video game, and one of them will have their feet in the other’s lap.

While everyone in the league thinks Ilya is a huge asshole, Shane thinks he’s hilarious. In fact, Shane usually agrees with Ilya’s chirps and will not defend anyone against them.

I just love the idea that they’re absolute best friends.

[ilyas-left-nut]

ilya’s trying so HARD to act nonchalant here it’s actually comical, when we ALL know that man is seconds away from begging on his hands n knees

[hollanovsgingermelt]

this parallel literally makes my stomach turn ugh. the confusion and nervousness on ilya's face in the firs clip vs him letting his guard down fully in the second clip, knowing its been almost a decade of them hiding and growing together before they earned a moment of peace and silence to be honest with each other ugh MY BABIES

[scartafacci]

when they ask him if he’s looking forward to facing shane and ilya replies, “he is goalie now, yes?”, he finds if so fun, he just keeps doing it, and he’s obviously a bit more of an asshole about it every time.

“shane hollander? sorry, i don’t know the names of all assistant coaches.”

“shane hollander? the zamboni driver for montreal? does good job, sure, but i have seen smoother ice.”

“shane hollander? who is that? does he sell popcorn during the games so that he can at least watch from afar?”

“shane hollander? you mean the guy who has coffee cart outside the arena because selling iced drinks is the closest he will get to hockey?”

“shane hollander? of course i remember him. he is park guide now, did you know? yes that is the closest he will get to sticks.”

(to the journalist) “shane hollander? is that the name of your son? does he want my autograph?”

and of course ilya also knows that those answers will get him angry sex every time, so he feels very encouraged to continue.

[hudconera]

do you ever think about how shane watching ilya cum for the first time was the hottest thing he’d ever seen

[holyfuckingweed]

Shane and Ilya wrecking havoc on twitter once again

Heated Rivalry social media au 8/?

Part 7

Tag list: @genderfluidqueerio @pixelatedhomunculus2 @mothman-stole-my-eyebrows @my-hockey-shaylas @malgudinights @zoe-inthesky @bisexualchaosdemon @prometheusthedragon

[libraryofnes]

LORD I JUST FUCKING FAINTED. OMGGGG!!!!!!

Connor Storrie for Cultured Megazine 2025✨