Rose Beringer. 23. Barista. I've never been crazy good at these little introduction things ( they suck, honestly, like, who likes these? ) Uh, anyway, my name's Sam but you can call me Rose— which is a story I'll only get into if you buy me a drink, so there's incentive, I guess. Anyway, I work at A Cup-pella, I'm a 'starving artist' a la RENT and I really, really like dad jokes. Seriously, they're kind of the key to my heart. ♥ See ya on the flipside, cuties.
Aesthetic is important, bitch. And this aesthetic is painful, but I just… I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. Aesthetic.
Excuse the fuck outta me, I’m just trying to give you some advice, brat! I feel like I should give you some applause just for your willingness to suffer for the sake of ~ aesthetic ~ but damn, dude, take it easy. You better stock up on some ice cream in a damn hurry, huh? Popsicles would probably do the job too, now that I think about it.
Works for me. But if your really worried about it. Might want to try that Zquil stuff. Its just for sleeping.
You like the history channel?! You def are a dork, but that’s alright. I don’t like the history channel or most history classes because I feel like usually more than half of it is crap. Yeah, really. Would I lie about eye balls popping out of people’s heads? I don’t remember but I think it was some show on TLC … not that I watch TLC. That’s good to know. Those beautiful eyes are an awesome ass asset but I think you have other great ones.
Oh, yeah. I totally forget that exists sometimes, like, they don’t advertise it nearly enough. I’ll figure something out, though, with or without various medications.
I mean, yeah, some stuff they have on there is really cool. I can understand that, though, history isn’t always everyone’s thing and like, realistically, most historical things are either filtered through shitty people or they’re just plain shitty situations. I hope not, ‘cause that feels like it’d be super pointless, like, I believed you right off the bat. TLC is a good place for weird-ass medical horror story shows. Shit, I do? Someone forgot to send me that memo. Do tell, though, so I can start making myself a list.
Yeah, absolutely. I’d love to have you. I’ll give them a call to hold a ticket for you. You don’t have to work that hard for me, sweets. Just your opinion as an audience member. Oh stop! What can I say? This is years in the making. Wow. You’re that big of a fan, huh? My, my, Ms. Rose. There’s that confidence. Not weird at all. Definitely teasing me, but not weird. I know that you just want to make sure you’re not a bother, and I don’t want you worrying. That… actually really warms my heart. They’d be very excited.
I was going to say sexy, but I wasn’t sure if that would be appropriate. You’d be the sexiest magician ever. Better?
Awesome, I can’t wait! It’s kind of ingrained in me, at this point, and I don’t feel like it’s working all that hard at the end of the day. Just some light use of Google, and I’m good to go. Brava, brava, it’s truly a momentous occasion. Of course I am— that better be a rhetorical question. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen almost everything you’ve ever done since we’ve known each other, I’m not gonna change that now. I can’t help that you have the best reactions to my teasing you, and I don’t think I can help but like it. Clearly I’m not as subtle as I think I am. I’m just stating facts at this point.
Much better. I’ll retire from my fake career as a magician now if I still get to hold the sexy card.
Friday is good, but I could definitely get you tickets for tomorrow. I kind of have pull as one of the three major roles. Besides, I’d like you to watch it as soon as you could. You know, for feedback purposes. No other reason. You’re that sure of my performance? I’m flattered. That’s… You’re sweet. As usual. You never had to work all that hard to get me shook, especially when you use that nickname! I feel like you’re not all that sorry. No, no. It’s nice of you to ask, but really it’s a genuine invite. If you think they haven’t told me to invite you already then you don’t remember them all that well. But I will ask them just so you can feel reassured. Yeah, of course! They’ve known you most of their lives, the little tikes. Gladly, Sammy.
I know, I know. It makes it very cute when you do get cocky. And maybe a little hot. The mysterious Rose.
Oh, you can? Um, I’d love that, then. Mondays usually aren’t crazy busy for me, so that would honestly be really perfect. Oh, yeah, of course. Feedback is really important; I’ll brush up on my theater knowledge so I can give you... appropriately worded constructive comments. Are you kidding? If you’re my biggest fan, then I’m yours. I’m always sure you’re gonna blow everyone away every time you perform anything. You could sing ‘Itsy-Bitsy Spider’ and I’d tell everyone to give you a Grammy. I’m not at all sorry, I really missed getting you all worked up. Um, is that weird? Thank you for humoring me all the same. They’re like, my kids, at this point. Or, sometimes they feel like it but I would really love to see them.
I was hoping for a stronger word than ‘cute’ but I’ll take what I can get. Maybe a little? The Mysterious Rose makes it seem like I’m a magician at kid’s parties or something.
NOTES: Rose and Mickey run into each other face to face for the first time since their break-up on Rose’s way out of A Cup after a shift. Feelings happen.
MICKEY.
Mickey flashed the saddest smile she thought she had ever made before. It was what she wanted to hear, but it was obvious that it wasn’t easy for the girl to say and that made her ache. The world faded away, and it wasn’t like they were at the cafe anymore. Maybe they were, but, regardless, it didn’t matter. There was a fear that shook her. Mickey gripped her hands tighter as if she knew this would make Rose go away. She didn’t speak. Mickey could only listen, and rubbed her thumbs against Rose’s palms. She pressed several kisses to her hands as if she was verbalizing a plea to stay until she was done explaining. Looking into her eyes, Mickey couldn’t face her. At least not while she said what she needed to say. Leaning her head down, she pressed her lips to Rose’s right hand. She was cowardly in that moment, but she had hoped that the cowardice would show just how pitifully ashamed she was of what she had done and how she reacted.
“Before… Before I explain, I just want you to know that… if I could go back and change things, Rosie, I would. God, you have no idea how many times I wished that I could go back and just… See this coming and talk to you. I–” Mickey stopped herself. This wasn’t what she needed to hear first. No, she needed to explain what had happened.
“Do you remember my co-star for Romeo and Juliet?” Mickey finally lifted her head up from Rose’s hand, pulling their hands together until all four were entangled. “We were talking backstage one day… and… I mean… next thing I knew, we…” Mickey couldn’t stop her eyes from watering as she clenched onto their hands tighter. You would have thought Rose was going to disappear with how tightly Mickey was clinging. “We were making out in this closet and I… I didn’t understand why I would ruin something that made… makes me so happy. You are what I go to sleep thinking about, and you are the first thing I thought about when I eyes opened… and I hated myself for getting into that closet. I was confused because I couldn’t imagine myself anyone else..” She pulled their hands to her chest. “I couldn’t bring myself to confess that to you so I ran away.” The next part brought Mickey to tears, complete tears. She wasn’t even sure if Rose could understand her at this point.
“I went home… And, um, my parents made me see this therapist because I couldn’t… I just kept doing all these impulsive things and I was losing my shit all over the place–” Mickey was physically shaking at this point, fear coursing through her. Even if Rose could accept her mistake, there was no way she could accept how broken Mickey was at this point. “She diagnosed me with Bipolar I disorder and said that that was why I was always so… impulsive and making risky choices… Why sometimes I got a little… down and, uh, she called manic… I spent the next year working on it and going to therapy and starting this medication regimen… Um… So…” Mickey hesitantly let go of Rose’s hands and averted her eyes. “I understand… if you can’t handle all of that… I…” Mickey couldn’t figure out what to say at this point and just leaned back in her chair to wipe her tears.
ROSE.
“Baby—” A wild swirl of emotions ripped through Rose as the word passed her lips, running the gamut from hurt to sympathy to fury that somehow they’d lost so much time for reasons she felt they could have managed. She swallowed roughly and squeezed Mickey’s hands before she untangled them and leaned across the table to brush the brunette’s tears away with a gentle pass of her thumbs. “I hate it when you cry,” She murmured gently pulling away only when she was satisfied that she’d wiped as many tears from Mickey’s face as she possibly could. She was still processing everything that her ex had just finished explaining, details filtering through in fits and starts as she reached for Mickey’s hands again.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about things, not yet, but she knew she loved Mickey. She’d known that for years and it hadn’t changed in their separation and she had no doubt her feelings would abate strictly in the midst of one conversation. “You know I have an anxiety disorder, right?” The conversation had lulled to the point that silence had stretched between them for nearly a minute as Rose had pondered what to say and she raised her eyes to meet Mickey, a gentle, curious expression on her face. “I’m not Bipolar and I can’t imagine what that feels like or how to manage it but I know what being mentally ill feels like, Mick. I’ve known since I was thirteen and I think I’ve gotten a lot of practice at this point.”
She paused, humming, “I guess I mean that like, if you were scared to come back because of that— you shouldn’t have been, okay? I know we weren’t properly married but like, in good times and bad, right? I planned on promising that to you and I meant it. I... mean it now. I don’t know how to feel about the um, the cheating part...” She shrugged, untangling one hand to drag her fingers through her hair lazily.
“I always told myself that’d be a deal-breaker for me but, I don’t know. If we could just— take things slow? I w-want to work on it. Us. I want to work on us, with you.” She bit her lip gently, “Do you... want that, too?”
I’ll make sure it’s a front row seat. Just let me know when you want to go. I’m excited for you to watch. I’ve put my all into it. I know, but you’re the best at giving compliments. So, I’m hoping I do a good enough job to get a lot of those. Here’s to not disappointing you! Okay… that’s not fair. You can’t say things like that. You trying to shake me? Yeah, of course. You won their hearts a long time ago. You won’t make things weird. I come from a hippy family, remember? They would be fine with it. You guys could take my room and I’d stay in Keilani’s old room. Or he could get Keilani’s room, you can take my old room, and I can stay in the living room. Whatever would be best for you. Christmas wasn’t exactly the same without you last year. The nieces and nephews asked about you.
You’re very humble, Rosie. It’s one of your best qualities and one of my favorites, even if I can’t understand how you don’t walk around like one of the cockiest people.
Friday night, maybe? Would that be alright? I was gonna say tomorrow but then I realized it’d probably be a giant pain in the ass to make that work and I don’t wanna put you out at all. You’ll definitely do a stellar job— you always do. Whether you’re getting compliments from me or not, you always kick ass. Is it not? Sorry, princess, maybe I just can’t help but shake you up a little. I know you do, but I’m still paranoid about that stuff. I wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch, you know that. We could figure it out, we’ve got nothin’ but time. Definitely ask your parents first, though, because I’m not about to spring us on ‘em, as mellow as Noah and I are. Did they? Man, I miss ‘em. Will you let them know the next time you get to talk to them?
It’s just never been my thing. Besides, it makes it that much better when I do get cocky, right? It keeps the mystery alive.
The show runs every night at 6:30, but doors open at 6:00. There are extra 8:00 showings on Friday, Saturday, and a matinee showing on Sundays at 4:00. I can get you free tickets if you promise to come see me backstage after. I’d love to get any of your criticisms on my performance. I’d gladly wear a uniform for you. I’m glad to hear it. He’s a good guy. You guys could always make a stop at the Mitchells Christmas celebration. We may not be… together, but they still consider you family. I do too. I know that’s a weird offer, so don’t feel bad about taking it. But it’s there. I figured you both would appreciate the surfing. I know. You guys are like my sister and I.
Yeah? I’m glad you think so. My hero!
As far as I’m concerned, you have no reason to be humble.
I can make time for any of those, so that’d be really awesome. You know I’m not the greatest at offering anyone criticism, but I promise I’ll try if you let me come see you in action. It’s been way too long since I’ve gotten to see you in your element and that’s just cruddy. Oh, you would, huh? Color me intrigued. Would you— are you sure? I mean, I know it’s only October and like, that’s loads of time for us to figure out our Christmas plans but like, I don’t wanna make anything weird. You know we totally would, and I haven’t been able to surf in like, literally months. Which sucks super hard.
I do my best. ~
I don’t, huh? I can’t really walk around being super cocky all the time. It feels really weird I’m like, hella bad at it. Or maybe I just feel like I am, I can’t really tell anymore.
NOTES: Rose and Mickey run into each other face to face for the first time since their break-up on Rose’s way out of A Cup after a shift. Feelings happen.
MICKEY.
Nothing could possibly feel as good as the sensation of Rose clinging to her in return. Mickey knew she was hurting the girl, but the comfort she got from her holding on was too much to not allow herself to appreciate. She frowned at Rose with that characteristic puppy eyed look, leaning her chin on their hands. Only moving her face once she felt Rose interlock their fingers, Mickey locked onto Rose’s eyes. “Sammy…”
The name hung in the air for a while before she could respond. You would think she would have prepared for this more, but she hadn’t and now she needed to think. Separating their hands, she held each one separately and leaned back in her chair. “I don’t begin to think that I can just come back here and things would go back to normal. I know I don’t deserve that or you. I know I hurt you and I know that I…” Mickey felt her voice strained and she tried with everything in her not to tear up. Rose earned her tears, but this was her doing and she didn’t deserve to cry. She didn’t deserve to do anything that would get Rose to comfort her, which she knew the girl would. It was ingrained in her to do so. “I know I have some… expl–” She could feel her eyes start to water and she instinctively tightened her hands around Rose’s.
“Fuck.” She said plainly before starting again. “I know I have some explaining to do. I was wrong for leaving, but I want to be right in coming back. I just don’t know what that means yet. But you can tell me, Rose. Tell me what I can do to make all of this up to you. If you want me to fight for you, I will. If you want me to let you move on…” She looked down at their hands and tried to regain her composure. “… I will. If you want friendship, I can do that. I will literally do anything that you need, Rosie. Just tell me what you need.”
ROSE.
Since she was a child Rose had only tolerated hearing her first name spoken by a select handful of people, though that handful had dwindled to a whole two people by the time she was in her twenties: her Bubbe and Mickey. She started gently at the sound of it regardless and drew her lip between her teeth as she listened to Mickey speak.
What did she need?
She knew what she wanted. At least, she thought she did. Or maybe she knew what her heart wanted— she’d always touted the benefits of following that over logical thought but she wasn’t sure admitting that she just wanted to get married and put their separation behind them was the best idea. It would have been too easy, or maybe it would have been too painful to act as though nothing had changed in the time Mickey had been gone. But god, she wanted things to go back to the way they had been. She wanted to be Mickey’s and the sheer force of will required not to admit that openly now that Mickey was right there with her was absolutely ridiculous.
“I...” She swallowed thickly, taking a slow breath, “Honestly, I don’t... I don’t want to lose you again,” The admission was nearly a whisper and Rose’s eyes shifted to their joined hands as she continued to speak. “But I do think you need to... explain why you left, because I don’t think it’s fair to either of us not to do that if we’re... if this... ugh, god, I’m so bad at this.” She closed her eyes and hunched over the table, pressing her forehead to her arms for a brief moment. “I want you. I want things to work for us but I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not scared, or that I’m not worried things’ll just blow up again when we get settled. And I want us to work at shit, y’know? Ease back into things, or something.”
“I really don’t think I can handle anymore time without you— whatever that ends up looking like, I don’t want you to go again.”
So, here’s the thing. I thought to myself, ‘Hey, Alex, I don’t think you have enough piercings, let’s get out and get some more!’, and I listened to my inner voice, because usually, it’s been pretty great– HOWEVER. H O W E V E R. My inner voice told me to get snake bites, and oh my Jesus Lord Savior Saint Peter Michael God, I was not ready for them. I was told, ‘Oh, just have some ice cream, it’ll be all good within a couple weeks. I was NOT told I couldn’t eat some goddamned pizza. Pizza. My favourite food. I have been denied my favourite food because my inner voice told me to stab myself twice in the lip, and now I have to live off soups. WHY. W H Y. I want to comment seppuku. I regret these metal hell spikes, I regret listening to my inner voice. This is my life now. So, yeah, to summarise, does someone have a samurai sword I can end it all with? I can’t live without pizza, dudes. I just can’t.
... Dude, that does not seem like an equivalent response. Unless you’re super committed to the whole aesthetic of your snake bites, I’d say just take those fuckers out and move on to a pizza filled life of bliss.
We can’t have that. I need to get through doorways and fit into my wardrobe for work. I am the official Rose Beringer cheerleader. How is my buddy? Have you Skyped with him recently?
I’ve always been too impulsive for my own good… I’ve been working on it. I like to think I’ve made some improvements. We’ll have to run this experiment sometime. Well, maybe I rather you keep me from being buried under mountains of tea.
Your moments as in all the time? Yes. Welcome, Loke.
Speaking of work— uh, what’s your show schedule? Maybe I could, like, y’know... come see it. You’re gonna need a t-shirt or something, at this point. He’s doing great— I keep bugging him to come out to visit for Christmas so he doesn’t have to brave the home front by himself. Dad’s been less obnoxious lately, though, so he’d probably be fine. We Skyped the other day, yeah, you know we can’t go more than a few days without talking to each other. It’s super weird.
That’s really good to hear, Mick. Alright, alright, I can do my best to keep you from succumbing to a slow, slow death buried under mountains and mountains of tea.
I was trying to be humble, missy, you’re not making that very easy.
A warm mug of linden tea in a dimly lit room, a book with no real storyline (poetry is my drug of choice), and no screens or clocks whatsoever. White noise helps, too - I use Mae’s snoring, but some swear by ocean and jungle noises, or even a fan.
I hope you feel better soon.
TV is usually what I use for white noise— but it’s obviously not doing me any favors. Teddy snoring would probably do the trick, though. Or sighing, like, I’ve never met a single animal who sighs more than my dog. I’ll try the fan thing, though, and see if that helps.
Thanks, Q, I’m hoping so too. I’m fairly positive the bags under my eyes could carry groceries at this point. Y’know, figuratively.
No dice, my dude— tried and failed that like, loads of times at this point. It usually does the trick but I dunno, I can’t even get off lately, it’s depressing.
Futurama is way too interesting to watch when you want to go to sleep. Next time try something boring like the history channel, talk about a snooze fest. Also your eyes can actually totally pop out of your head and still be attached and put back. I’ve seen it on TV, and it’s pretty fantastic. I hope you got to rest those eyes, Rose. Want them safe and where they belong.
That sounds like a recipe for a trip to the ER, dude. NyQuil’s already got alcohol in it, I’m fairly sure— plus, like, my meds and alcohol don’t really mix. I’d rather not be totally fucked up just for one night of actual sleeping. NyQuil by itself, though, I might try that. Not the syrup, because that shit’s gross as fuck, but the capsules.
Aw, but I like the History Channel... and I guess I also like sounding like a giant dork, because that’s pretty much what I’ve got going on right now. Wait, really? Where on TV did you see that? ‘Cause it sounds sick as fuck. Don’t worry your pretty little head, babe, my eyes are firmly in my head with no plans to go anywhere. I’d be pretty bummed if I lost my best feature in a freak sneezing accident.
The advice I got was focusing on your breathing. Concentrate on every inhale and exhale that goes through your nose and mouth. Was this insomnia spontaneous, or did something bring it on?
I’ll try that sooner rather than later, I’m sure.
Something brought it on, like, there’s no doubt about that. I usually have a much better handle on sleeping when I’m anxious, but I suppose this is a level my anxiety doesn’t usually reach. Which, is absolutely insane, considering. I’m not exactly a fan of it in any sense.
Well, there are a lot of natural sleep remedies that you can try. Sipping warm milk and honey can help. Also, having your room at a temperature between 60-67 would be great. Certain yoga routines have been helpful in winding down for sleep too. Hot baths and melatonin are also a must! You actually shouldn’t watch television before bed because it’s too stimulating and leaves the brain too active.
This message is Dr. Montgomery approved.
I’m not really a milk person, but I s’pose I’d be willing to try it for the sake of actually sleeping. I’m getting real tired of being real tired, man. That’s... Sookie, that’s so specific. I’m pretty sure my roommates would kill me if our apartment was that cold all the time. Well, it’s cold for me but I’m a big baby. And yeah, I know watching TV before bed is like, hella dumb; I usually only have it on in the background because the noise helps me sleep, somehow. I did buy some melatonin so I’m probably gonna try that soon if nothing else works for me but this is getting to be a super exhausting problem.
Have you been stressed out lately? Whenever I can’t sleep it’s usually because I’m super stressed. I usually don’t like tea, but when I can’t sleep I drink sleepytime tea. Actual tea drinkers might judge me for it, but it works. That and actively trying to clear my mind before bed.
I’m starting to think so. I mean, I figured it was just a freak thing the first couple of times but it’s not getting all that much better so it’s gotta be something like that. As if anxiety on a day-to-day basis wasn’t enough of a pain in my ass, it had to go and add this to its bag of tricks. Sleepy-time tea always seems super legit, and the box is weirdly cute, which I dig. I guess I should practice the whole mind clearing thing— usually I’m thinking about like sixteen thousand things as I’m dozing off and then I wake up a few hours later and I can’t even remember how I passed out in the first place. It’s a super cool time.
I think the eyeball thing only happens if you sneeze with your eyes open. But I recommend doggo cuddles. Or better yet, bring your doggo to come hang out with mine and we can all have one fort
I used to try to do that when I was a kid, actually. Sneeze with my eyes open. That shit just hurt real bad and obviously I still have my eyeballs so clearly it was a failed experiment. Um, heck yes I wanna do that— Teds is gonna love your little dude and I miss you, so, let’s make a date for fort building. When d’ya want me to come and bug you, Elle?