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Living life forward - understanding backward

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The will

“It requires self discipline to do something, it requires discipline to continue, but in order to even get that far it requires will” by Erik Østenkjær

In sports coaches often talk about athletes with exceptional will or the the lack of will.   After a bad result or a poor period I have often heard things like “the player has a lot of potential but she/he hasn’t got the will”. When an athlete hasn’t got the will, the talent and the abilities can’t fully be released.

It awakened an interest in me to find out what will really is and whether it can be trained and, if so, how. Some may be more predisposed to will than others and our life and culture has made various demands on us and developed our will in different ways.

Lets for a minute take the scientific glasses on. At the front of the brain is the frontal lobes which functions likes the brains coach. Brain researcher Elkhonen Goldberg compares the frontal lobes with a orchestra conductor. The “conductor” has a governing effect and has the power to schedule, create and maintain. With other words the will is in the frontal lobes, which coordinates and controls all other parts of the brain.

The front part of the frontal lobes is called prefrontal cortex and is important for the cognitive processes in the brain and has essential impact on ones personality. Furthermore it has an impact on the way we gain will power because our plans and goals has a door in squeeze as a consequence of the impulses from the rest of the brain which is send from this zone.

The brain is a dynamic organ that humans has an impact on and it’s changeable and possible to develop. Earlier we thought that humans gradually loss their brains cells, but new studies shows that we daily produce about 10.000 new brain cells which gets to wherever they are needed in the brain.

So now we scientifically know that will isn’t just a concept that’s made up as an excuse for pure results, so let’s define some of the concepts often spoken about regarding will.

How discipline, self discipline and will is connected

Discipline: Is often said in sports and associated with doing one specific sport with full focus towards it. It involves that you are following orders, tasks, strategies and methods that the coach gives you. You have to be disciplined in case to another humans will (the coach), no matter how worthless or opaque his orders are. Doing the tasks that you find least significant is a window of opportunity and exactly in those situations you are able to strengthen your will. First step towards getting more disciplined is to systematize your life an comply own agreements. The ability to discipline your self gets strengthened when a demand for a special training requirement or requirements to master a certain technique is challenged.

Self discipline: Is most important for the ones doing an individual sport who often has to plan their own training, the diet, has to get up early in the morning to train alone.

That doesn’t mean that discipline or self discipline gives will or reverse but it has kind of a synergy effect on each other and as the quote on top of this post explains it all starts with the will so that’s whats important.

Will: Is a force that you have inside thats easily comparable to muscle forces. When you uses it it’s possible to solve a large number of tasks. It’s possible to target the force towards a certain power force development. The amount of will isn’t unlimited so it’s important to prioritize where and how you use your will.

A good way of training the will is to incorporate simple habits and let them become part of your lifestyle. No matter if you are a top athlete, business man or whoever you have to start organizing the most common and necessary tasks. This could for example be a training program for the athlete or daily tasks for the business leader like welcoming all employees as the first thing in the morning.

If we proceed with the athlete and the training program it’s preferable to start with setting dining times. When and how many times you should eat? When a good habit with meals are established, you can begin to look at what each meal should contain. By focusing and taking one step at a time the will get’s stronger.

The important thing is to consider every task as a way to develop the will and will power. Although you have to remember that too many tasks can undermine the will power which makes the prioritizing so important so that you have got will for the essential tasks.

Simple ways to train the will is by doing tasks like the ones beneath:

Go outside when it’s raining (when you don’t want to)

Sit down and be quite at the same time every day

Read a book that contains useful and informative information that you think is boring.

It’s when you overcome yourself that your will is developed

Sports psychologist Erik Østenkjær talks about “the 4 basic elements” of the will.

Determination

The ability to make decisions is a prerequisite to be able to develop ones will

Perseverance

We do what needs to be done in order to have what, we have decided to achieve.

Effort

When we make an physical effort, using all forces to get goals even if it is uncomfortable. The mental effort means that one undermines the opposing thoughts and attitudes in order to achieve one’s goals

Joy

A force that supports what you want and gives energy to achieve it. Welcome opportunities and results, that one can be pleased to be with and accept challenges

A mix of the 4 elements creates a frame for ones will power. A person might for example have a lot of perseverance but isn’t able to feel joy of good results. Others have got good determination skills but find it difficult to keep finding the energy and being persevered towards achieving a certain goal. In a good and balanced will all four elements is more or less represented.

The knowledge of what skills a person has and hasn’t got is an excellent starting point in working with ones will and how to improve it. “The Will” depends on a lot of factors but I have at least gotten a little wiser on some of them and feels prepared to start actively working with my players will.

/Adam

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Adversity

“Failure is the opportunity to start over in a more intelligent way” by Henry Ford

Every once in a while we face adversity. Some is self inflicted other is due to chance. Some is worse than other, but I think the potential of adversity is overseen. Earlier in my life I felt sorry for my self whenever I faced adversity, but at the age of 17 I realized that I was able to turn adversity into a self learning process with a positive outcome regardless of the degree.

A lot of times facing adversity I have tried to practice whatever thing I was bad at regarding the adversity while I was facing it. For me, it was the logical solution but my experience is that I have to get back to basic, get secure and then decide what the important things for me is to be able to start over and get a constructive outcome of the situation.

I am right now in the middle of the process of turning a situation like described above. As written in my second post tennis is my biggest passion of all and maybe even like an obsession for me from time to time. The case is that I’m not going to work with the tennis project that I have used all of my time and energy on the last two years. That has made me question a lot of things regarding how I use my time and what’s really important in my life.

My way of turning adversity in a constructive way is like this:

The most important things for me in life

1. Happiness

2. My fellow humans well being

3. Constantly be in development as a person

Who am I

It gets more and more popular with personality tests and not all of them are equally good but I have used two to understand my self better and what qualities I have got and thereby also which qualities I have to aim for to reach my goals.

Garuda - Focus profile

The philosophy of this tool is that every human being consciously or unconsciously focuses on certain tasks or values. As the name says it’s a way of finding a persons focus which is done with 56 questions. The test operates with 4 different fields whom each indicates a kind of personality trait. No one is completely a field but often mostly 2 fields. When the test is done it’s possible to use the outcome to get a overview of your strengths and weaknesses.

I’m mostly the “blue” (color), the “grey” and partly “green” and “red”. Below is the outcome of the test described in words that fit on me as a person.

Blue

Adaption, positive, understanding, sensitive and harmony

Grey

Keep agreements, routines, details and considered preparation

Green

Experiments, development and inspiration

Red

Ambitions, targeted, risk taking, improvements,

Person type test

Is another danish tool to get to know some of your own traits.

My test result was like this:

Your type code: ISFJ

“Focus on prioritizing tasks depending on the personal needs” ISFJ-types are oftenprivate, loyal and caring people who seem modest and straightforward. Their talent lies in making sure that everything is organized so that others around them can achieve their objectives. It is often those who spontaneously offers to help others when they perceive that there is a need for help, and they are often better able to perceive others’ needs before their own. They are often friendly and understanding people who try to avoid confrontations and conflicts.

For ISFJ’s, it is therefore important that the organization or business is structured and organized, in order to create secure borders around the performance of the work. You often see this type be functioning in hierarchical organizations. Often you will find ISFJ’s in jobs where they can use their loyalty, respect for traditions and the ability to conscientiously to support other people. Often, they are employed as: educators

(I)ntrovert

Private, think before talk, is more quiet

(S)ense

Facts, details, focus on the 5. senses

(F)eel

Sympathise, more subjective, emphasis on human needs and values look at human relationship

J(udgement)

Planning, likes to complete tasks before embarking on a new

Trading plan

I always think that getting an actual plan of what you have to do is needed on writing because it’s then binding. Especially for a type of person like me it’s very important to have a concrete plan to keep me on the direct road towards my goals. In my planing I’ll keep in mind which qualities that I already have got I can use and what qualities I have to train.

“You can’t make a difference by doing the same” by Ulrik Wilbek, danish Mens Handball national coach. 

Ulrik Wilbek says it pretty clear, and here is what I’m going to do.

3 things I wan’t to chance 

1. Daily time especially to my self

21:30-22:00 is my daily alone time. It can be used on watching television, reading a book, writing a blog, watching a speech on the computer, walking and basically everything thats done alone without interruptions.  

Here I’m mainly going to use some of the qualities from the “Grey”: Planning and rules, but what I think is more important for me is that I have to challenge my self to get better at: Variation, change, variety, testing, experiments which are all “Green” and I know that it’s not what I’m best at but because the circumstances will feel safe because of the “grey” I think there is room for development.

2. Practice to be more present in the moment

Morning exercises at wake up. Going to start with breath exercises to be more aware of my breath and when I feel ready (at least 14 days from today) I will try with some more advanced meditation exercises.  

1. Exercise Inhale through one nostril and close the other with a thumb. Then block the nostril that has just been inhaled into – and exhale through the other nostril.

When inhaling the air must be dragged down in the diaphragm. It is repeated five times  

2. Exercise Inhaling thorugh nose and thinking and seeing the air as fog going in the nose, moving around in your head, going to the bottom of the stomach out of all limbs and back towards the mouth and finally leaving the body.

3. Exercise Exhale in shock movements 2 or 3 times with sound like “Huh, Huh, (Huh)” It’s important to empty the lungs as much as possible, which will help getting the adrenalin out of the system.  

As with the goal I also have to use some of the “grey” to get the breathing exercises done but once again I’m challenging my “green” values. Especially

hunches, experiments, fascination and testing,

3. Making a virtue out of every hour as a tennis coach

Make planning in writing for each individual lesson as when I started as a full time Tennis Coach about two years ago.  

Once again I have to have some of the “grey” in the planning part but here I get challenges on a lot of values a cross the different categories such as: tolerance,

adaptation, variation, modification, experiments, ambitions, targeted improvements, risk taking.

As a final note studies shows that we are able to remember 10 percent of what we read, 20 percent of what we hear and significant 70 percent of what we say. This is my way of talking!

Now I’m ready to start making a change which I hope will lead me towards development.

/Adam

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Passion

“We provide best when we enjoy” - Christian N. Stadil

About two years ago I moved approximately 200 kilometers away from where I grew up from my parents, my social network and the safe being. I didn’t know it by then, but it’s obvious for me that I was driven by my passion.

Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard talks about two types of activities. You do essential- and accidental activities. The essential is the most important and the accidental is more random and we haven’t got our minds in to them. There is no passion and it’s emotional less important but can be necessary like washing and putting your close together. In an essential activity the process in itself is enough. It’s possible to forget all of the unresolved thoughts, space and time get mixed and your just present in the activity.

I moved 200 kilometers to learn from one of the best tennis coaches in the country. It was my year off after graduating from High School. It would have been “easier” to work in the local merchant and thereby stay in the safe environment, but it wouldn’t have been essential to me. Tennis is essential to me and I enjoy using all of my time on and off court with my students.

Even though tennis meant and still means the world to me and is an essential activity, it was natural to start at the University and get an education after a year as a full time tennis coach. When I grew up I learned that money can’t buy you happiness and the values I got from my family made me realize that the most important thing in my adult life would be that I was happy doing what ever I was doing. My parents have always had high expectations regarding my education and so have I, and for me it became important to find what in danish is called: “the golden middle way”. Some might confuse it with mediocrity but I don’t see it that way. I started studying Sports and Health at the University of Southern Denmark and thereby I both get an education and upgrade my chances to end up as an older and wiser tennis coach.

Henry Miller defines passion by: ”develop interest in life, as you see it; in people, things, literature, the music, world is so rich, the pulsing with precious treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people”. 

Tennis is for sure my passion but sometimes I wonder if it even becomes an obsession from time to time. Everything is put a side to get the possible conditions for my students. Every obstacle no matter how big or how many gets swiped away like they didn’t even exist. Some might say that happiness isn’t about having a life without problems, but how you tackle the problems you have got. I mostly agree but I sometimes stop and wonder if it’s all worth it.

Buddha says: “The string that’s neither too strict or too lax may create a beautiful ambience.” 

Sometimes my string get’s to strict and I forget my friends, family and world outside of tennis. That scares me when I notice, but I’m getting better and I’m going to keep being  enthusiastic about tennis and use all of the joy I get and carry it with me in my everyday life.

/Adam

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Project Human

How is it possible to get the best possible life?

It’s a question that interests me in such a way that I think about it each and every day. When I was approximately 11 years old I met a tennis coach whom inspired me to take control in my own life. I experienced that I was able to do much more than I ever imagined and the following years I started reading about personal development. Today I know that I actually didn’t understand much of what I was reading and sometimes I’m still not able to convert what I reed in these kind of books to useful tools in my life. Most important was the process I started and probably never will stop again.

I started a project which is common in todays society. If you look up the word ”project” it means that you do something for the future, and that’s what I did. Danish sociologist Anders Fogh Jensen published his work on what he calls the “project society” in 2009 where he talks about how we form relations, time, space and behavior from the projects we have in life. To get at least some of the explanation we have to get back in time.  In 1900 Fredrich Nietzsche talked about ”the dead of God” because of the fact that humans weren’t created by God became more and more accepted. About 50 years later in 1943 Jean-Paul Sartre said that: “Humans is the only creature on earth that defines them selves through projects.” It’s probably not the whole truth but I feel that it fits me and my generation quite good and Anders Fogh Jensen has gathered the information about the subject at the appropriate time.

Underneath I have listed the tools I use in my biggest project, life.

1. Living

Sometimes I forget to be present in my own life, but I have also felt that no book, speech or  human is able to replace the learning from situations in life. Jean Lave and Etienne Wenger first published their work on ”Situated learning” in 1991. They talk about how kowledge is not assigned to the individual, but learning occurs between relationships and the concrete context that you are in. With other words I try to get in the situations of life were I want to get better and learn from the situations before I start reading, listening or search for advises of any kind.

2. Talking about life

I have always tried to talk with as many people as possible about different situations of life to get a lot of different aspects on how to live and how to react on life. I know that some would think that it’s a matter of attention and maybe it is in some kind of way, but I think I learn a lot from not always talking to my nearest friends and actually already knowing how and what they are going to reply.

3. Read, listen, see

I have always been very inspired by successful people, even dough you don’t know what their life looks like under the scalp of success. Today it’s possible to get access to both books, blogs, interviews, speeches and so on on the internet. Maybe it’s only one tiny thing that I’m able to convert to my own life from reading a book, but for me it’s worth it. Under the section recommendations I have made a list of the most valuable books, blogs and speeches I have used time on.

It’s a never ending journey and I don’t think any human will ever be fully taught in life. I have now started a new project by doing this homepage and writing this blog. I’m going to write about whats on my mind.

Feel free to read, comment or contact me.

/Adam