first world warrior

'somewhere in the night, there is endless love somewhere in your mind, your love will be endless'

[addictwithapen14578]

'rein me in' by olivia dean radiates

[addictwithapen14578]

it's protomartyr season

[addictwithapen14578]

every single time i watch a cameron winter live performance i feel like i'm lulled into a trance. it feels like every day i'm more convinced that he's the bob dylan of our time, and i am absolutely chomping at the bit for a live album, AND the unreleased tracks to see the light of day (especially if you turn back now, i will let you down, and emperor XIII in shades)

[sanfordsouking]

I am so sick of "saxophones getting louder" reels

[blackshvck]

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

[addictwithapen14578]

the adults are talking by the strokes is one of the only songs i've decided is 10/10 after hearing only once

[addictwithapen14578]

is this it by the strokes is genuinely a fucking masterpiece

[addictwithapen14578]

the most devastating part of my life getting more busy is that i just don't have time to listen to post-rock-era swans anymore. and i'm not often in the mood for their other stuff

[addictwithapen14578]

NEW! protomartyr ALBUM and the single is HITTING

[addictwithapen14578]

ever since i watched the bear i've been filled with hope

[not-your-average-url]

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

[kumkaniudaku]

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

[addictwithapen14578]

my tumblr is just me posting and the same one person liking it and no-one else every time

[addictwithapen14578]

no-one knows 100% of my lore. like there are some sets of two people where if they joined forces they would have everything but no single person has that much power yet

[addictwithapen14578]

there is nothing more FUCKING AGONISING than realising that you're in a proximity friendship. and you try to get out of it by reaching out to the person and trying to build a relationship with them outside of the spaces you're forced into together, which is currently only where your relationship exists; but they don't really care that much and are perfectly happy with the proximity. and you know for a fact that they like you and think of you as a close friend because you've asked them and others around them, they just don't feel the need to maintain this friendship outside of the proximity. and so you think "ok maybe that's a good thing, like we're such good friends they don't feel the need to maintain the friendship" but then it's like... okay but i still want to actually have an active friendship. and so you're left in this strange situation where you have a close platonic bond with this person but you express it in such different ways, or rather you express it and they don't bother because they trust in the friendship so much. and so you're in this constant state of insecure limbo where you're like "do they actually like me? because they don't express it very much" but you know they probably still do. but the thing is if they ever did stop liking you you wouldn't really know, like they would probably act the same. and you don't want to call them out on it because you're not confident enough to do that and you reeeeaaaally don't want to seem clingy and push them away because they mean about 30-40% of everything to you and you'd probably start another downward spiral if that happened. and every time you go down this train of thought you just get lost and can't articulate it properly anyway so you just forget about it again.

who can relate, woo!

[addictwithapen14578]

i think two of the most damaging phrases to gen z have been:

"i don't owe anyone anything" and "protecting my peace"

modern hyper-individualistic late-stage capitalism (buzzword buzzword buzzword) has molded gen z into broke, simultaneously-emotionally-suppressed-and-exploding-in-a-post-modern-soupy-mess-of-feelings husks that interact with each other in a way that would probably have been seen as completely demented 30 years ago. we are all just surviving off proximity friendships (which FUCKING SUCK and i will be posting about those after this) and acquaintances while we try to 'make it' whatever that really means. australia is an extremely culturally messy soup with a surreal monocultural hangover, and it's only been exacerbated by the internet. and it's because of this and those 2 phrases that NO-ONE wants to inconvenience themselves for their friendships anymore. we are so fatigued by modern society and therapy speak that we are 'protecting our peace'-ing our way into perpetual loneliness and being miserable. does no-one understand that true, worthwhile friendships (and any kind of relationship) are HARD. you need to invest yourself into another person. you need to support them when it's hard for them. and most of all, YOU NEED TO PUT UP WITH THEM WHEN THEY ARE BEING ANNOYING! EVERYONE, i mean even your closest person is going to annoy you at some point or another. one of the reasons human connection is such a worthwhile pursuit is that we appreciate each other not even just despite, but FOR our flaws. and sure, it's good to protect your peace and prioritise your mental health. but can we also act like fucking regular people and start caring about others for fuck's sake? why do you never reach out to me, and get all confused when i ask if we're friends? i feel like i'm going completely fucking insane trying to interact with supposedly my best friend(s). i do have a theory that this is just in my school, so i'm curious to see if this is something i'll observe when i escape. you owe people things! get out their and pay your fucking debts!

[addictwithapen14578]

just a random shift in perspective i had recently

in the past i've kind of always assumed both 1) i and 2) my life would be too:

chaotic

bad

depressing

incapable

to ever consider raising a child. but my life's actually starting to get better (and there was a long time where i couldn't see this happening), and one thing i could 100% see myself doing in the (distant) future is adopting. i don't really see the point for me personally in making a new one when there are plenty of children who need and deserve loving homes (i don't care about my bloodline/dna/whatever bs). i also might be able to skip the early years which is like the worst part lol