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@adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass
šš»Asks are open!š»š
āØIām opening my inbox for asks for a limited time! (Yay!) If you have any questions regarding ADHD nowās the time! āØ
Peace out and have a nice day homiesāš»š»āØ
do you have any recommendations for how to handle an understimulating university environment? i dropped out a year and a half ago after failing spectacularly, then realised i had adhd.
i remember being incredibly bored in every class despite the degree being the thing i'm most interested in. help, how do i fix this? i really would like to go back some day!
Hello! Thank you for your questionā¤ļø
Apologies for the late reply, depression has really been kicking my butt this year.
As someone who has struggled with this exact thing I will tell you right away that it isnāt an easy fix. Itās a process and you might have to go through some trial and error before you find something that works for you. I canāt promise I have the right answer for you but I will do my best.
What I can offer are some suggestions on how maintain your interest and thus your focus and motivation.
1. Make the subject more interesting
This can be tricky when youāre doing something you already know you enjoy but still feel understimulated. Try finding or incorporating at least one tiny tidbit of information that interest you and focus on that in order to keep up your general interest.
As an example: I once took a class on the history of crisis, and there was a lot of stuff in there that didnāt really interest me even though I liked the subject in general. It was hard to motivate myself at the start. However I was able to incorporate one of my special interests into my essay for that class and that made the entire thing much more enjoyable because I was able to gush and learn more about my special interest.
2. Stimulate yourself to prevent boredomš§
The general idea is to occupy yourself with something minor that allows you to listen and participate without suffering through overwhelming understimulation. Some suggestions are:
Making fun/interesting notes. Draw charts, diagrams, make little boxes or circles around your text, draw arrows, add little thought bubbles or clouds, whatever floats your boat.
Drawing
Fidget toys, they can be anything for a ball of sticky putty, necklaces, rings, kneadable erasors to just a simple hairtie.
Fidgeting, some examples of non-disruptive fidgeting are: rolling or twirling a pen between your fingers (resist the alluring urge to click your pen so as not to bother others), dangling your legs back and forth, wiggling your feet/toes, tapping your fingers against each other, chewing gum etc
Knitting/crocheting/other hand-based work that is easily portable.
Be aware that some of these require that you not get too distracted by what youāre doing, it might be a good idea to try different things until you find one that doesnāt take away too much of your concentration.
3. Use external motivators
This one might be a hit or miss depending on your personality but for many people external motivation can really help you stay focused when internal motivation is lacking. Some examples of external motivators are:
Sitting in front. By sitting in front you have a more direct view of the person speaking and this helps engage you in what theyāre teaching. You also have their eyes on you more often which will act as an external reminder to pay attention.
Join studious peers. This works as a sort of body double system. If I see that the people next to me are paying close attention that makes me want to do the same.
Reward yourself when you successfully maintain focus with something you look forward to. This can be anything from getting a treat to some extra minutes gaming time later that day, whatever sparks your dopamine.
As an example: I used to have 45-minute lectures with a 10-15 minute break and then another 45-60 minute lecture after that. If I had paid attention and made good notes after the first 45 minutes I would treat myself to coffe and a pastry from the cafƩteria during our break. This was a way for me to reward myself for doing a good job. So whenever I felt my motivation lacking I would remind myself that I needed to pay attention if I wanted that cinnamon bun later on.
š¼I hope these answers were helpful to you. Remember to be kind to yourself and donāt judge yourself if things donāt work out right away. š¼
Thank you for reading and good luckš¼
This might be random and unrelated but I'm a high school senior taking my final exams which in my country determine the next 4 years of my life. it's now 4 days to the start of test season and Despite prepping well and feeling confident I woke up today to an empty mind. The mocks I took today were awful and I can't really speak to my parents about this as we aren't on speaking terms due to my grades seeing a drop before this. I'm consumed by brain fog and lack of motivation and feel completely lost on how to get back to the way I was yesterday, feeling equipped to handle this. My mind floods up with random details from ages ago?? I'm sorry...Kindly advise
Thank you for your question.
First of all, apologies that this reply is insanely late. Depression hit me like a brick wall this past year. I hope your exams went well and that youāre doing okayā¤ļø
It sounds to me like all the pressure to perform is making you really anxious causing you to blank. Some general advice is to try and exercise or go for a walk as studies show it is a very efficient way to lessen anxiety. As well as mindfullness, meditation or any other generic anxiety reducing activity.
On a more specific note anxiety can really mess you up and for me taking walks just donāt cut it.
The most important ātechniqueā Iāve learned is called SOAS, and I learned it from a swedish book about ADHD. For translation reasons weāll call it SOAR
It stands for
S-Stop
O-Observe
A-Accept
R-Release/Respond
It works kinda like this:
Whenever you have a strong overwhelming feeling (like anxiety) pause for a moment and stop. Take a couple deep breaths and take a moment to reflect.
Observe what is going on in your mind and body. What are you thinking/feeling? Maybe you feel scared, afraid to dissapoint yourself and/or others. Maybe your heart is racing or your jaw is clenched. Donāt try to stop or correct anything youāre doing justā¦observe.
Try your best to accept the way youāre feeling right now. Donāt judge yourself or your emotions by labeling them as āgoodā or ābadā emotions just, acknowledge and accept that they exist. āI am stressed & anxious. Even if I donāt like it. Thatās just how it is right now.ā
Finally decide whether youāre going to respond to or release your emotions. This can be tricky. Itās not always clear which answer is ārightā in the moment but Iāll explain them both.
Responding to a feeling means we make a concious decision to act upon it. Our feelings exist to protect us and help us navigate the world. If you feel afraid upon seeing a lion about to pounce on you, then responding to the feeling by running away is probably the sensible thing to do.
By āreleasingā a feeling on the other hand we decide to let go of it and make a concious effort to not act upon that feeling. Sometimes this means taking a deep breath and moving on with your day but with particularily strong emotions it might feel impossible to just let it go. Sometimes to release the feeling you have to actively act against it.
If fear tells us to run away and avoid something, lets say a social interaction, with lots of new people (an introverts worst nightmare) then in order to release the feeling we have to the opposite of what it tells us. Go say hello, socialise, make that phone call, apologise to that friend youāre angry with that you really donāt want to apologise to. Itāll help you overcome the intensity of the feeling and with time and practice the feeling will lessen.
š»Apologies about the wall of text. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. If you made it this far, thank you for reading and have a nice day.š»
Is it a sign of adhd if i want to do something but my mind would be like that would be exhausting even if it is something simple like a 3 step skincare and won't let me do it?
Hello friendšš» thank you for you question!
My āofficialā answer to this is that I cannot determine if any singular behavior is a sign of ADHD because ADHD is a complex collection of symptoms which has a severe negative impact on a personās life. Itās important to remember that it is the collective experience and severity of the symtoms which determines whether it is ADHD or not.
With that said, to me it sounds like youāre describing a situation where you have difficulty starting a task, even a seemingly small one. This can be a sign of executive dysfunction, which is a common occurence in people with ADHD.
However, the most important thing isnāt to determine whether or not what youāre experiencing is a cause of ADHD. The most important thing to consider is how much this is affecting your life in a negative way. If you are experiencing any form of chronic behavior issues that severly affects you in a negative way on a daily basis you should definetly seek treatment regadless if itās related to ADHD or not.
I hope this answer was satisfactory andhelpful and I wish you good luck š¼š
*Crying hysterically on the phone with my mom*
Me: āOmg mom I canāt find my phone anywhere! Iām going to be late for class! I donāt know what to do!ššššā
Mom: āSorry sweetie I canāt talk right now. I canāt find my phone anywhere and Iām late for a meeting, talk to you laterā
*hangs up*
This has been an ADHD-joke fresh from my rotted brain, youāre welcome and Iām sorryššš
Hi I was today years old when I realized some people truly donāt have to think about every single thing they do. They donāt have to have an imaginary set of rules (Iām not allowed to put on my bra until Iāve brushed my teeth) to function.
Just some adorable cat lights in my home town I thought Iād share
if youāre struggling lately, i hope this reaches you.
we will be okay. you will be okay. you will grow and evolve and heal. you will enjoy life again even if itās not the same as it was the last time you were happy. you will live your life not feeling stuck. you will do more than survive. you will thrive.
A reminder to all of you for the new year
PSA - If you are walking your dog without a leash in a shared public space you are kind of being a dickš
I had a period of severe anxiety especially when walking outside. Despite this I did my best to force myself to go outside once a day if only for a few minutes to improve my physical and mental well-being.
So there I am doing my little walk around the neighborhood already struggling to keep my anxiety in check, Iām almost home, relieved that the torture of going outside is almost over. I look behind me (as you do when you expect the world to pounce on you at any second) and I see a woman walking with a big dog unleashed. The dog is walking next to her no problem not looking agressive at all.
Now Iām not afraid of dogs in any way shape or form. We had a giant rottweiler growing up so I really have no reason to be afraid, but since I was already overwhelmed with anxiety this really freaked me out and I started walking faster, but so did the dog lady.
I actually donāt know if what happened next really happened the way I remember it, but I keep looking back and they keep getting closer. In that moment I remember a close family friend who got attacked and bit in the head on a walk by an unleashed dog. I think about the stitches she had to get, how she became so afraid of encountering dogs that she couldnāt take her own dog for walks any longer. Thee lady and the dog keep coming closer and I start panicking even though Iām fully convinced that this dog looks nowhere near even considering attacking. Next thing I know, I look back again and I see this big black dog running up behind me and just scream like Iāve never screamed before.
I step off the trail and sort of freeze. Embarrased but also afraid and I end up sitting down and sort of rocking myself trying to control my anxiety.
The dog lady comes over and tells me
āItās okay, heās friendly.ā
She gives me this look like she doesnāt know what to think of me. I start profusely apologizing explaining that I just got really scared but that Iām actually fine. She doesnāt really buy it (understandably as I was starting to hyperventilate) She sort of half-heartedly asks if thereās anything she can do and I tell her to please put a leash on her dog. However rather than doing that she starts telling me over and over how friendly and safe the dog is and I just kinda shut her out just asking her to please leave. So she does. I sit in the grass for a good 10-15 minutes probably trying to calm myself down, feeling incredibly ashamed and guilty over having such a big emotional reaction which is of course not helping me calm down.
As Iām trying to muster the courage to get up and walk the remaining 2 minutes back home the lady returns without the dog and again asks if she can do something to help (which was actually really nice of her but in the moment it just made things worse as I felt pressured to āfeel betterā for the sake of easing her discomfort) I kept telling her
āThank you but no, I just need some time to calm downā
After going back and forth a bit she eventually leaves and after an additional 5-10 minutes Iām able to get back up, finish my walk and return to the safety of my home where I break down in tears. Ashamed of my reaction but also just so angry.
Listen, dog people, I get it. Your pup is probably super well trained and wouldnāt hurt a fly. I believe you, but just because you know theyāre well behaved doesnāt mean other people know. Even if they know fear can be incredibly irrational and difficult to control. It should be obvious that in shared public spaces you should be respectful of others by leashing your dog. There are dedicated spaces for dogs to run about without a leash but on your daily walk where you have a high likelyhood of encountering lots of people is not that space. Itās unsafe not only for others but for your dog. Some people may attempt to attack your dog out of fear in order to defend themselves.
So please, for the safety and well-being of everyone, just leash your dog
Which one is your favourite? @thoughtstherapy
ADHD Tip:
āØStay fit by constantly being late for things so you have to run everywhere in order to arrive just in time panting really loud.āØ
Hi. I saw your post about being a uni student with ADHD. Iāve just started uni and am struggling to keep on top of all my tasks, uni work and otherwise. Any tips on managing life so it doesnāt all build up?
Hi, thank you for your question!ā¤ļø
Unfortunetly I am not qualified to answer this one as this is still my biggest struggle with uni.
My only advice is to be incredibly honest with your teachers about your struggles. 9/10 times they will be super understanding. You could also let them know in advance that you are struggling to keep up and let them know you might hand in things late. If you need help writing a good excuse email you should try Goblintools. Itās incredibly handy.
Sorry I couldnāt be more helpful, best of luck to you!
The current method for treating my various health issues is basically stacking one medicine atop another to combat the side effects of the original treatment like a house of cards, everything works as long as noone breathes too closely to it.
-oh youāve got ADHD? Here take this, now you have no more racecar brain. Btw your heart beats really fast and you should worry about it. Like, a lot, maybe have a panic attack idk
-oh, youāve got a high pulse and anxiety from your ADHD-meds? No prob, here have some beta-blockers.
-oh your endometriosis is causing you pain? No biggie, have an IUD. Btw youāre depressed now.
-your IUD is making you depressed?! say hello to your new anti-depressants!
-chronic fatigue from depression and hypermobility? Here these will give you more energy.
-canāt sleep because of your being awake medicine? Itās okay, have some sleepy pills!
In conclusion, my current health status has the same energy as:
but hey, if it works it works š¤·āāļø
āFailing doesnāt mean you have to quitā- Tips from a university student with ADHDš
So Iāve been in uni for likeā¦.*squints at calendar* almost 5 years, (yikes) and in that time Iāve learned the value of failing.
More specificly I failed a lot of tests, handed in a bunch of assignments late and what I learned from these experiences is that failing an examā¦or several of them, is not the end of the world and perhaps more importantly not the end of your plans for the future. I was convinced at several points during these years that because I failed an exam or even a whole course, it would be the end of my academic future and possibly career. I never thought Iād ever graduate but here I am five years later with a bachelorās degree and now on my way to a masterās.
Failing doesnāt mean you have to quit what youāre doing or give up on your dreams.
It just means you have to get up and try again and if itās one thing people with ADHD are good at itās trying. Weāre always trying to do better, improve our lives, and as long as you keep trying youāve never truly failed.
I took 6 years to finish my bachelor and now 3,5 to finish my master.
I just this final streak keeping my goal in mind: I don't need to be the best, or have the greatest grade. I want my degree.
In Design jobs, you also barely need to show your grades. People care about your portfolio and your personality. If you can fit in the team and show you are willing to work, learn and improve is way more relevant while getting a job.
But yeah, the feeling of not doing my best and failing to reach my expectations, it sucks. And that is also ADHD, or at least comes quite often together with it. Fear of rejection, of failure, of trying hard and not doing well. I take responsibility for it, sure, but I also learned that I don't need to be alone in that. I could ask for help when I needed, at uni or from family and friends.
Technically, it's not a book, so I donāt know if itās useful for your thesis. But I read the transcripts from the Hacking Your ADHD podcast. It might be helpful as itās a self-help podcast?
Either way good luck with your masters š«¶š«¶
Super tip! Thank you so muchš«¶š»
High functioning doesn't mean your disability is easy or doesn't impact you. It just means your disability doesn't make you useless to Capitalism. I have ADHD and Autism and am considered "High Functioning" because I can speak and hold down a full time job, but it's so exhausting to just barely do this that I basically can't do anything else. 100% of my free time is spent recovering from work, I have no hobbies, almost no friends, and I'm not close to my family because I don't have the time or energy for the actual life that my job is supposed to enable me to live. I am not "High Functioning", I am barely holding myself together.
I am invisibly disabled. The impact of my disability is not seen or respected by able society and so I am given a label that sends the message, "I am diagnosed with a disability, but it does not disable me." This message is a lie that forces me to overexert myself in the name of Capital.
My disability is not easy to live with. I can work, or I can be happy, but I cannot do both, and I am so, so tired.